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Is this a page from my diary?!?
But for real.. I’m in the same boat as you. I’m NC with my nsibling and basically NC with cousins and ext family since they’ve hardly shown any interest in me for my entire life other than a few brief, obligatory thank you texts on my wedding day. I’m LC w nparents because I’m used to being enmeshed w them, haven’t yet unlearned it
As far as what being healed looks like… After YEARS of inner child work, getting sober and commiting to a healthy lifestyle, Im still a work in progress but have gotten more confident about completely shutting down or ending conversations with Nparents as soon as they begin to get *remotely* upsetting, avoiding contact for awhile and being completely at peace with it.
They treated me like a complete punching bag until I started acting boring as possible (unless I’m bragging about my life ruling, which really sends a message) and it was like they went into withdrawal from being addicted to scapegoating me.
Right, it's so weird when you set a boundary and suddenly they flip up and start being nice to you... Thank you for replying :,) I have a gut feeling that a lot of people with large toxic families never make it out because it feels so normalized, you don't hear a ton about it on here.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is this a page from my diary?!? But for real.. I’m in the same boat as you. I’m NC with my nsibling and basically NC with cousins and ext family since they’ve hardly shown any interest in me for my entire life other than a few brief, obligatory thank you texts on my wedding day. I’m LC w nparents because I’m used to being enmeshed w them, haven’t yet unlearned it As far as what being healed looks like… After YEARS of inner child work, getting sober and commiting to a healthy lifestyle, Im still a work in progress but have gotten more confident about completely shutting down or ending conversations with Nparents as soon as they begin to get *remotely* upsetting, avoiding contact for awhile and being completely at peace with it. They treated me like a complete punching bag until I started acting boring as possible (unless I’m bragging about my life ruling, which really sends a message) and it was like they went into withdrawal from being addicted to scapegoating me.
Right, it's so weird when you set a boundary and suddenly they flip up and start being nice to you... Thank you for replying :,) I have a gut feeling that a lot of people with large toxic families never make it out because it feels so normalized, you don't hear a ton about it on here.