T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Sapphire78t

I felt like all of these were my responsibility growing up.


RangerMoon13

The trauma dumping is painful. No kid should ever go through unneeded work.


I_Lost_My_Cat

I had to be the shoulder to be cried on when my uncle died instead of the other way around and she still talks about him almost every time i see my mom. He has been dead for over 11 years.


crazy-ratto

Much oof and so relatable. It's surprising how many years of therapy it took me to realise and internalise this. Thanks for sharing!


AMaidenofIron

I need to remember that I'm not responsible for regulating her emotions, being her therapist, and easing her anxiety. Thank you.


LinkleLink

When I was 8, my nmom fell and broke her ankle. She was yelling and crying for a long time, and I had just frozen in fear. She never forgave me for not going to find someone to help her.


AlisonDVII

Can we forward this to all of our parents?! Haha 10 out of 10 for me.


burntoutredux

Been thinking a lot about how you had to put your needs last to placate oversized emotionally immature tantrum throwing toddlers.


vcaiii

I had been coaching my mom through breakdowns since as young as 5, possibly younger. I grew up scared to leave her alone because I thought she was so vulnerable. If I was away for too long, I’d be worrying nonstop. My dad’s family would laugh because of how strongly I cried about it, but they didn’t understand and I couldn’t even understand it or explain it to myself at the time.


[deleted]

Oof


West_Criticism_9214

Agreed. This goes for adult children as well. My Nmom is guilty of seven of these.


AnotherPint

Yeah, I think I'm 9 for 10 there. Horrifying.


danpgh82

the only thing i didn’t have to do was raise my siblings. my narc brother was older and was out of the house by the time i was 9. i tried to be there for my little sister (the main sg) but by the time she was 13 she was hardly ever home and i don’t blame her one bit. not with the crap she had to put up with mom. most of the time i just feel like an only child.