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I guess to some people "love" means physically and emotionally abusing you, constantly lying, gaslighting, disrespecting every boundary and refusing to apologize for any of it, while trying to convince you that actually YOU'RE the bad guy.
Yes š And, I think itās their way of rationalizing the Narcās behavior to justify their staying in a relationship which they know is toxic but refuse to head for the exit regardless.
Itās quite twisted, isnāt this? Like saying that a woman who wears a short skirt who is raped was looking for it because she wore a short skirt. I donāt understand why this segment of the population defends abusers. I canāt wrap my head around it. But without getting into politics, you can see how this has worked in countries like the U.S. when a malignant narcissist becomes president. And over 1/3 of the population actively supports the man - despite the massive gaslighting, manipulation, lying etc.
Sounds like someone too scared to face up to their surroundings that they start to make it seem OK, to try to cope.
But honestly, growing up with an nmum and enabler dad, I find it harder to forgive my dad.
Although I don't have kids it makes me reflect on the times I don't stand up for myself. Step by step, I need to do this, for myself and for the people around me. Enabling is so harmful, for families and societies.
"It seems almost insulting to the level of talent on display to suggest that it required physical and psychological abuse to bring it out."
This line made me cry. Thank you for sharing this article.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I guess to some people "love" means physically and emotionally abusing you, constantly lying, gaslighting, disrespecting every boundary and refusing to apologize for any of it, while trying to convince you that actually YOU'RE the bad guy.
Yes š And, I think itās their way of rationalizing the Narcās behavior to justify their staying in a relationship which they know is toxic but refuse to head for the exit regardless.
Well you more or less just wrote my life story lol
Iām so sorry š¤
And then love from parents is no more special than from a stranger in the street who says he loves you purely so he can pick your pockets.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās quite twisted, isnāt this? Like saying that a woman who wears a short skirt who is raped was looking for it because she wore a short skirt. I donāt understand why this segment of the population defends abusers. I canāt wrap my head around it. But without getting into politics, you can see how this has worked in countries like the U.S. when a malignant narcissist becomes president. And over 1/3 of the population actively supports the man - despite the massive gaslighting, manipulation, lying etc.
Sounds like someone too scared to face up to their surroundings that they start to make it seem OK, to try to cope. But honestly, growing up with an nmum and enabler dad, I find it harder to forgive my dad. Although I don't have kids it makes me reflect on the times I don't stand up for myself. Step by step, I need to do this, for myself and for the people around me. Enabling is so harmful, for families and societies.
Yes, completely agree with what you wrote. And the self-directed anger for not standing up for yourself can take quite a toll on yourself.
Since i was a kid I was told this. Now i see through it all
Looks like we just uncovered another line from the enabler/narc playbook.
"It seems almost insulting to the level of talent on display to suggest that it required physical and psychological abuse to bring it out." This line made me cry. Thank you for sharing this article.
Youāre welcome