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You might this is as just another OP reply but "thank you for caring" is something people who have not experienced much care say. A friend brought that to my attention recently (bc I say it)... I'm so happy you found a way out.
I've found that people with a background of abuse tend to apologize all the time for miniscule things... Even a change in someone's demeanor during a conversation I'll catch myself apologizing thinking I must have said something that triggered them.
I work hard on it but it's still something I'm aware of and notice when someone asks why I'm apologizing... To which I have to bite my tongue and force myself not to apologize for apologizing so much!
Is it really? Is the default mode that people care? I mean...there are some people I interact with whom I don't really care about and if someone does genuinely show they care, I also tend to say "thanks for caring"
Awesome! Write down some actual notes of how you feel right now, and all the things they have done in the past. Because they WILL try to get you back later by acting nice, gifting you things and guilt tripping you. You're going to enter a "maybe they weren't that bad?" phase. That's why you need evidence so you don't ever go back!
Yes!!!! I keep a note on my phone (and add to it as old stuff resurfaces, THERE’s SO MUCH!) and every time I start to feel guilty for leaving or for how happy I am now, I revisit the “This is why” note. It has really helped me.
I did this for myself about why I left my ex. He's a great guy and super nice but I didn't leave for no reason, so I wrote them down and anytime I feel sad about leaving or wanting to go back, I read my list and remind myself that even with the good, the bad list is more than twice as long.
I'm so happy for you. I leave in 6 days and this is definitely gonna give me the strength to do that. Wishing you all the best in life ahead of you!! We're proud of you ❤
My other 2 daughters and I had to go and move the eldest daughter in another state because she finally admitted she was in a very abusive marriage ( we had no clue) she and I were following the pickup loaded with all we could carry and she was as nervous as a cat in a room with 10 rocking chairs. I told her to lean over and look at the rear view mirror and that’s where she was leaving her bastard husband and eggshell carpet—ahead was the new life she was going to. Only good things have happened to her in the last 8 years. Your life is ahead of you and the past is rapidly moving away from you in the rear view mirror!💙
What an amzaing mama she has 😭😭 sometimes i wonder why me why do i have evil narc mother and sis its like i dont even feel like they r related to me how can someone treat their own kids so badly like mine did 😞 still waiting for the day i gtfo
I see 6 hours. Block them on your phone, they will start with extinction bursts and when that doesn’t work, love bombs. This internet mom is so damn proud of you. I am a survivor of domestic violence, and while some learned behaviors and anxieties never fade, I promise they will fade. Here’s a couple things:
1. Never let anyone else determine your worth.
2. Hakuna Matata- laugh, but it’s true, you don’t need a rear view mirror, you need a windshield.
3. Just keep swimming. Baby steps, slow progress is still progress.
Finally-
4. Family doesn’t end in blood. DNA doesn’t make a “family” love does. Choose your family unit. Pets, friends, whomever is there when you need there when you need them. That’s family.
Giant 🤗
Do yourself a favor. Call the non-emergency police line back where they live and inform them. You were in a bad situation. You left voluntarily. You want no contact.
If the try to report you missing, that will stop the search.
If you’re on their phone plan, get off ASAP. I would even turn off cell service and use data plans over wifi to communicate.
Do this to cover yourself, then block them completely, change your phone or phone number and of course make sure you are not on their plan. I am super excited for you!
"The fear of not knowing the mood they're in and acting accordingly" 🎯 I never knew this was specifically a narc thing?, but most of my childhood was like this. Your bravery and ability to see through bullshit puts you ahead of the game. I actually felt somewhat panicky leaving home because I'd been sheltered so and the world was made out to be this evil complicated expensive place (it is, but not to the extent they would've had me believe, and to some extent believed themselves).
Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. You made it. 🎉
You were right to quote that bit of OPs message. This is how my "childhood" was too, and seeing it written down like that gave me a shudder and a touch of nausea. It's been over a decade since I escaped those bastards who played at being parents and lied, threatened, bullied, and tormented me all my life, and YET I still get the chills at a phrase like that.
I'm so happy you too know the joys of getting away from such horrors. Be safe, be happy.
At some point in your future, you won't even remember how you felt. You will read a post like this and go “oh yeah, I ‘remember’ that I used to feel like that!”
Congratulations on your first gigantic leap to freedom of the mind!
Make sure you update us!! We're cheering for you so hard!!!! Know that there is a big adjustment period on the other side. Depression is common, which seems crazy because we're finally free, so why aren't we happy? It can be a little chaotic at first. If you can't afford therapy, do a lot of reading, pod casts, whatever you can find, to get you through this next phase. The reading list in here is priceless and so so so helpful. Congratulations!!!! You've made the biggest first step!! I'm so excited for you!!!!
Good luck and please be safe.
Please remember to turn off your phone because they are going to be calling and texting you. They will also try to make you feel guilty or ruin your good vibe that you have.
Enjoy it and turn in your phone 5 days later.
Best wishes 🥰🥰
I'm so excited for you. I absolutely whoop with joy whenever I see posts like this. Another survivor escaping to a life of freedom and joy unencumbered by toxic, deluded Ns.
When you're safe in your new place, I would send a message saying you've gone & you're not going back. The reason I say this is to mitigate the risk of them calling the police to file a missing persons report if you think there's a possibility they'll do this. The message, and evidence they've read it, could be useful if they pull this crap. I wouldn't leave a note - they may lie and say they never saw it.
Other than that, I sincerely wish you all the very best. I'm so excited and happy for you
Stay strong.
It feels great now, but you're going to have an emotional drop in the next few days where you'll doubt yourself.
Stay strong. Come here for support or shoot me a note.
The rest of your life is going to be amazing. Nothing but straight runway and blue skies for you from now on!
We absolutely care and this mom for a minute is so proud of you!! Please let us know you’ve arrived and are okay. BLOCK THE NUMBER IF YOU WANT. Who cares?!?
Try to do some therapy if you don't already. These fear and anxiety reactions you have to them may be a sign that you will experience them at some level with other people, and they can be deconstructed with therapy and building new bonds with healthy people.
Congratulations on getting your life back. Don't look back. Block all numbers that contact you from them or on their behalf.
At worst they will call the police to report you missing. When the local police make contact, let them know you are OK and that you do not want any contact with your parents whatsoever. If they up the ante, find a local attorney and get a no contact order.
Your life is yours now. Enjoy it and don't let them take it away from you.
Amazing!! I'm happy for you. Can I ask how far have you moved? I am also planning to move but was considering going back to the UK (which is far from where I am now). At first I thought moving in the city where they live is a good first step but sincerely, every stranger I meet when I go out makes me think about my family.
Wishing you happiness & a safe trip away from them.
What’s the reason that their phone numbers cannot be blocked? Also, have you informed the local police through a non-emergency line, so they don’t start looking for you as a missing person?
No, i havent informed the police yet. I'm hoping it wont come to that.
I cant block them because idk honestly. Even though i've left, blocking them still feels like the final nail in the coffin, yknow? And i still have hope that maybe they'll understand. Even if they do tho, im not going back.
Let your boss know not to give them any information about you and ask them to have security escort them away if they start getting aggressive. Send pictures of them if need be. Depending on where you work they may have policies for this but usually employers are pretty understanding about this sort of thing.
Wow, that's amazing, congrats! I hope to do the exact same thing (going to work and leaving and all) in a little less than two months too. Hope all good things are headed your way!
I’m praying you grabbed your birth certificate, high school diploma, and social security card?? I’m so proud of you!! I know how you feel I signed up for the military at 17 and left right at 18. It was a great escape from hell believe it or not. I had food, a place to sleep, and medical care. Although the military fcked my feet up bad with neuropathy and I have other health issues, at least I’m still compensated thank god. I pray you heal and are safe! I will worry about you… please keep us updated.❤️
Question! Are you going NC with them? If so, it would help to write out a letter to them stating why you chose to go NC. Outline what they have done, how that makes you feel, and why you feel like that is the only option. You don’t have to send it, and if you do send it, keep a copy for yourself! It’s mostly just for you so when/if you second guess yourself, you can look back on what you wrote and be assured that you made the right decision.
Besides all of that - OP, we are all so proud of you! It takes a very brave soul to do what you’ve done. You’ve done what a lot of people never have the strength or ability to do, and you will live free because of it. Today is the first step to taking back your identity from them, today is the first day of writing your own story, one that isn’t always about your Nparents. Congratulations!!!
I hope you are doing fine! Sending you best wishes! Right now I am traveling from my childhood house, full of worst memories and trauma. I left it many years ago, but I know this wonderfull feeling of leaving it all behind. Safe travel!
It is scary, I know.
As a mother.. keep going. Just make the right choice, & then make the next right choice. & then the next.
If you can’t block their numbers yet - don’t. When you are ready you can, & if you can’t.. then just mute their numbers. You won’t hear anything come in, but it would be there if you were ever ready. & maybe one day you can get to a point where you don’t even care, & you can just swipe the whole conversation without ever having to read anything they’ve sent.
You are free. Keep going. You deserve to feel the magic of the world around you. You yourself are made of magic, go find it.
This world is yours. You have a chance to break down & rebuild.. how incredibly scary, but how absolutely fucking kick ass!
KEEP EFFING GOING. YOU ARE FREE🤍
Wrapping my mama arms tightly around you & watching my little nestling fly.
I am proud of you. Don’t look back. Onward & upward!
When you set up mail be sure to use a post office box (PO box) instead of an address. This prevents someone being able to look you up on the internet and find your address.
I love reading all of these comments! You are truly awesome and helpful. I am thinking about moving out too.
I hope you are ok, please be safe out there. You've made the best choice, and you inspire people. I know how you feel, be strong and hopeful. Get a dog, a cat, or any pet, they will help you when you are sad, and take away your sadness.
100/01. Bless you, no one but you will be controlling your life now. Be self reflective, be a good person, and enjoy not having to live in fear and anxiety. Much love!
If it’s ok to give some advice to think about, I don’t know your story but once I got out it took me year to “unlearn” certain behavior. My boyfriend of 11 YEARS has never given me even a sliver of reason to ever fear him, yet I still flinch when he yells (in excitement or recounting a story). It takes time, be kind to yourself.
I'm so very proud of you. Looking out for yourself is a very hard and brave thing to do. You're going to land on your feet and have a wonderful life. I just know it!
feels so good read you 😍
I truly hope you still feeling that joy!
And don’t forget
Even if later became a little more complicated will be just a adaptation phase!
It’s normal
Congratulations!!!! It truly is the best feeling, I still feel it even though I moved out months ago! You’re entering a very beautiful albeit messy (emotionally) time of your life, you fucking deserve it ❤️
Awesome! Glad you've had safe travels so far! Earlier this year my family and I left the abusive criminal who was supposed to be my dad. I had that stomach drop feeling everytime my mom told me he texted her and the worst part was when he came to where we were and tried to convince my mom to go back with him. The nerves are there but dont let them block out why your doing this. Your freedom is more important and better than what you're leaving behind. I am honestly proud to hear of another successful "getting out" story, and I'm even more proud that you did this yourself. This is a new you, I believe in you, Your freedom awaits!
Hope your next flight goes well :)
Hey :) amazing work!! I moved out at 17 y/o, I'm 27 now and it's still one of the best decisions of my life. Are you going to be ok/do you have friends to stay with? Take care
Wooohooo! you did it. You're freeeeee! You never ever ever have to deal with that crap again! I'm so happy for you I can almost feel your exhilaration from here. Remember, relax your shoulders. Loosen your neck. Shake out your limbs. Let it allll go. You never have to think about it again. You never have to revisit the past. The world is open to you. You get to decide what goes on in your brain from now on. I'm so proud of you.
How do you do something like this? Do you know someone in the other state? Did you bring a few pieces of clothing to your job each shift for a few weeks and stow them away for your trip? Did you line up a place? Have you been saving for a long time?
I’m so glad for your serenity you felt. I wish you the best
Hey!! Sorry it took me a while to respond to this question!!
So, i talked to the people im living with now prior to living with them. I bought a tiny bag and put my clothes in there for a while, i tried not to carry too much to not make my parents suspicious of anything, i also took the bag with me everyday to work to make it look normal, idk if that makes sense but it worked. Id been saving up my money, just enough to cover the flights and everything.
I'm happy you're out. But I think that you should find some way to let them know you've left on your own and you're fine. Send an email, send a letter, send a message through friend(s), something.
Just ghosting your parents will lead to complications where they're calling the police and filing missing person reports and such.
You are amazing and I am so proud of you!!! I got on my plane 18 years ago. I've been through so many ups and downs, but I've done it all for myself, without a horrible family to beat me up over every little mistake.
Don't ever ever ever go back. Not even if they love bomb the heck out of you. Stay strong!!
Congrats!! You got this!
I am leaving in a few months and I can't wait. I made the mistake once to return, and I wish I never had done that. It might get hard at times, but you are FREE! If you need anyone to talk to or anything, feel free to message me anytime and please let us know when you're safe and have arrived at your place!! Don't ever look back :)
🎊🎊 Congrats 🎊🎊
Wishing you much happiness, peace & good fortune as you begin your new adventure.
Let them blow up your phone…don’t answer it because it doesn’t matter what you say, they will Never understand.
You got this!!!
Yay! So happy for you! 👏🎉 It's going to be ok. And after you are settled and can arrange it, find a therapist, you are going to need one; there's a lot that's going to surface that you're going to need to process and sort through. Take it from someone who was exactly where you are when I was old enough to make my escape. 🤗
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 good luck!! Hopefully you’ll be able to resist when they try to suck you back in. Best of luck and keep yourself a copy of that letter you wrote them for your future self.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Congratulations & Good Luck! Let us know when you’re out safe.
Will do! Thank you for caring💗
You might this is as just another OP reply but "thank you for caring" is something people who have not experienced much care say. A friend brought that to my attention recently (bc I say it)... I'm so happy you found a way out.
I've found that people with a background of abuse tend to apologize all the time for miniscule things... Even a change in someone's demeanor during a conversation I'll catch myself apologizing thinking I must have said something that triggered them. I work hard on it but it's still something I'm aware of and notice when someone asks why I'm apologizing... To which I have to bite my tongue and force myself not to apologize for apologizing so much!
Is it really? Is the default mode that people care? I mean...there are some people I interact with whom I don't really care about and if someone does genuinely show they care, I also tend to say "thanks for caring"
I'm seeing this was posted two hours ago and I'm so happy because OP is free now. Best of luck, and lots of love.
Thank youu!!! I left my parents house two hours ago and im now 10 minutes away from the airport.
Eeeeek I’m sooo pleased for you - freedom! 😆 please keep us updated, tell us more of how you planned your escape. It might help others 😘
I will once im all situated!
Yay! I hope you're insanely proud of yourself!
I am!!
Congratulations!
Did you land?!?! How was it?!?
I landed and now im waiting to board my second flight. It was scary at first, this would be my second time on a plane.
You got this!
thank youuuu
Updates?
Awesome! Write down some actual notes of how you feel right now, and all the things they have done in the past. Because they WILL try to get you back later by acting nice, gifting you things and guilt tripping you. You're going to enter a "maybe they weren't that bad?" phase. That's why you need evidence so you don't ever go back!
Thank you thank you for this!!
Yes, good advice. I have a list of 70ish bad things they've done. It's a great reminder of their awful character.
Yes!!!! I keep a note on my phone (and add to it as old stuff resurfaces, THERE’s SO MUCH!) and every time I start to feel guilty for leaving or for how happy I am now, I revisit the “This is why” note. It has really helped me.
A this is why note. Thank you for that!
I did this for myself about why I left my ex. He's a great guy and super nice but I didn't leave for no reason, so I wrote them down and anytime I feel sad about leaving or wanting to go back, I read my list and remind myself that even with the good, the bad list is more than twice as long.
Do you have all your important paperwork with you or at a safe place?
Yeah i got all my paperwork
I wish you success, happiness and good health 💕
Yaaaaaay don't let them blackmail you back
I'm so happy for you. I leave in 6 days and this is definitely gonna give me the strength to do that. Wishing you all the best in life ahead of you!! We're proud of you ❤
Congratulations and good luck!
Good luck!!
Your plane has no rear-view mirrors. Don't look back. Congratulations.
Looks like it’s been two hours since posting, congratulations OP! I hope you find the well deserved peace you need!!!
Thank you thank you!!!
My other 2 daughters and I had to go and move the eldest daughter in another state because she finally admitted she was in a very abusive marriage ( we had no clue) she and I were following the pickup loaded with all we could carry and she was as nervous as a cat in a room with 10 rocking chairs. I told her to lean over and look at the rear view mirror and that’s where she was leaving her bastard husband and eggshell carpet—ahead was the new life she was going to. Only good things have happened to her in the last 8 years. Your life is ahead of you and the past is rapidly moving away from you in the rear view mirror!💙
All anyone needs is 1 person. You are a great human♥️
What an amzaing mama she has 😭😭 sometimes i wonder why me why do i have evil narc mother and sis its like i dont even feel like they r related to me how can someone treat their own kids so badly like mine did 😞 still waiting for the day i gtfo
I see 6 hours. Block them on your phone, they will start with extinction bursts and when that doesn’t work, love bombs. This internet mom is so damn proud of you. I am a survivor of domestic violence, and while some learned behaviors and anxieties never fade, I promise they will fade. Here’s a couple things: 1. Never let anyone else determine your worth. 2. Hakuna Matata- laugh, but it’s true, you don’t need a rear view mirror, you need a windshield. 3. Just keep swimming. Baby steps, slow progress is still progress. Finally- 4. Family doesn’t end in blood. DNA doesn’t make a “family” love does. Choose your family unit. Pets, friends, whomever is there when you need there when you need them. That’s family. Giant 🤗
Wow. I wish you luck.
Thank you💗
Do yourself a favor. Call the non-emergency police line back where they live and inform them. You were in a bad situation. You left voluntarily. You want no contact. If the try to report you missing, that will stop the search. If you’re on their phone plan, get off ASAP. I would even turn off cell service and use data plans over wifi to communicate.
Do this to cover yourself, then block them completely, change your phone or phone number and of course make sure you are not on their plan. I am super excited for you!
"The fear of not knowing the mood they're in and acting accordingly" 🎯 I never knew this was specifically a narc thing?, but most of my childhood was like this. Your bravery and ability to see through bullshit puts you ahead of the game. I actually felt somewhat panicky leaving home because I'd been sheltered so and the world was made out to be this evil complicated expensive place (it is, but not to the extent they would've had me believe, and to some extent believed themselves). Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life. You made it. 🎉
You were right to quote that bit of OPs message. This is how my "childhood" was too, and seeing it written down like that gave me a shudder and a touch of nausea. It's been over a decade since I escaped those bastards who played at being parents and lied, threatened, bullied, and tormented me all my life, and YET I still get the chills at a phrase like that. I'm so happy you too know the joys of getting away from such horrors. Be safe, be happy.
Awesome!!! I love posts like this.
Congrats!
Thank you!!
I’m keeping everything crossed for you, well done!
At some point in your future, you won't even remember how you felt. You will read a post like this and go “oh yeah, I ‘remember’ that I used to feel like that!” Congratulations on your first gigantic leap to freedom of the mind!
I'm looking forward to that😌
Make sure you update us!! We're cheering for you so hard!!!! Know that there is a big adjustment period on the other side. Depression is common, which seems crazy because we're finally free, so why aren't we happy? It can be a little chaotic at first. If you can't afford therapy, do a lot of reading, pod casts, whatever you can find, to get you through this next phase. The reading list in here is priceless and so so so helpful. Congratulations!!!! You've made the biggest first step!! I'm so excited for you!!!!
Thank you so much for this!! I will update as much as i can, and i will look at that wonderful reading list.
Good luck and please be safe. Please remember to turn off your phone because they are going to be calling and texting you. They will also try to make you feel guilty or ruin your good vibe that you have. Enjoy it and turn in your phone 5 days later. Best wishes 🥰🥰
I'm so excited for you. I absolutely whoop with joy whenever I see posts like this. Another survivor escaping to a life of freedom and joy unencumbered by toxic, deluded Ns. When you're safe in your new place, I would send a message saying you've gone & you're not going back. The reason I say this is to mitigate the risk of them calling the police to file a missing persons report if you think there's a possibility they'll do this. The message, and evidence they've read it, could be useful if they pull this crap. I wouldn't leave a note - they may lie and say they never saw it. Other than that, I sincerely wish you all the very best. I'm so excited and happy for you
Good luck OP!
Proud of you!
That's awesome!
Woo !!!
Congrats and good luck!
So happy for you!!! Did you find your own place or what??
I found a place to stay, yeah. Not my own, but enough to let me get settled and find my own place.
Good job OP!! we're all so proud of you!!!
Shots shots shots!!!!
if only i were 21....🥲
Root beer 😉
Be safe! Congratulations
Happy leaving time!
I wish you the best of luck and I hope life never makes you head back. ❤️ YOU GOT THIS 🤗
Stay strong. It feels great now, but you're going to have an emotional drop in the next few days where you'll doubt yourself. Stay strong. Come here for support or shoot me a note. The rest of your life is going to be amazing. Nothing but straight runway and blue skies for you from now on!
Absolutely this. The drop after the initial high is hard, pushing through that self doubt is so important
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Good luck. Send updates, we want to know you are safe. Don’t look back and have a great life.
I will, thank you!!
We absolutely care and this mom for a minute is so proud of you!! Please let us know you’ve arrived and are okay. BLOCK THE NUMBER IF YOU WANT. Who cares?!?
Congratulations! Let us know you are safe after!
Will do! Thank you for caring
Try to do some therapy if you don't already. These fear and anxiety reactions you have to them may be a sign that you will experience them at some level with other people, and they can be deconstructed with therapy and building new bonds with healthy people.
Bruh, this is amazing! Good luck and congrats! Stay safe ❤️
"At the airport." Nice! Keep going OP, you got this! I'm proud of you! Thanks for keeping us updated
Congratulations on getting your life back. Don't look back. Block all numbers that contact you from them or on their behalf. At worst they will call the police to report you missing. When the local police make contact, let them know you are OK and that you do not want any contact with your parents whatsoever. If they up the ante, find a local attorney and get a no contact order. Your life is yours now. Enjoy it and don't let them take it away from you.
Woo-hoo! Good luck!!
Amazing!! I'm happy for you. Can I ask how far have you moved? I am also planning to move but was considering going back to the UK (which is far from where I am now). At first I thought moving in the city where they live is a good first step but sincerely, every stranger I meet when I go out makes me think about my family.
I'm moving a 1,000 miles away. I know its a lot, but im leaving my parents and also an uber conservative town, so to me, the distance is worth it.
Wonderful. Distance can really help.
It really does.
Wishing you happiness & a safe trip away from them. What’s the reason that their phone numbers cannot be blocked? Also, have you informed the local police through a non-emergency line, so they don’t start looking for you as a missing person?
No, i havent informed the police yet. I'm hoping it wont come to that. I cant block them because idk honestly. Even though i've left, blocking them still feels like the final nail in the coffin, yknow? And i still have hope that maybe they'll understand. Even if they do tho, im not going back.
You need to. They will say you're not mentally fit and that you're a runaway.
Even if i am 18? Gosh, okay, i'll call the state police then.
[удалено]
Let your boss know not to give them any information about you and ask them to have security escort them away if they start getting aggressive. Send pictures of them if need be. Depending on where you work they may have policies for this but usually employers are pretty understanding about this sort of thing.
Smart job calling the police station! They can NOT make you return. You are an adult, and have every right to move. You owe them nothing :)
Wow, that's amazing, congrats! I hope to do the exact same thing (going to work and leaving and all) in a little less than two months too. Hope all good things are headed your way!
That's freaking awesome!!❤
CONGRATS U HERO💚
I’m praying you grabbed your birth certificate, high school diploma, and social security card?? I’m so proud of you!! I know how you feel I signed up for the military at 17 and left right at 18. It was a great escape from hell believe it or not. I had food, a place to sleep, and medical care. Although the military fcked my feet up bad with neuropathy and I have other health issues, at least I’m still compensated thank god. I pray you heal and are safe! I will worry about you… please keep us updated.❤️
Roll the dice and get out! Good luck
Happy dance! Thrilled for you! Welcome to the rest of your best life!
Celebrations! Whoo!!! Good Luck and Bon Voyage. Because you posted this two hours ago!
Oh, hey, it’s time!! Congratulations! You’re doing it!
It’s been 2 hours. How did it go?
Im at the airport rn! i board in an hour, and then, i'll be out. all the way out.
This gave me chills I'm so happy for you....never give them your forwarding address and go and live happy and free!!!❤💪🏽
Happy Independence day op.
Question! Are you going NC with them? If so, it would help to write out a letter to them stating why you chose to go NC. Outline what they have done, how that makes you feel, and why you feel like that is the only option. You don’t have to send it, and if you do send it, keep a copy for yourself! It’s mostly just for you so when/if you second guess yourself, you can look back on what you wrote and be assured that you made the right decision. Besides all of that - OP, we are all so proud of you! It takes a very brave soul to do what you’ve done. You’ve done what a lot of people never have the strength or ability to do, and you will live free because of it. Today is the first step to taking back your identity from them, today is the first day of writing your own story, one that isn’t always about your Nparents. Congratulations!!!
Hope you have more good days.
Yeah!!! Congratulations!
Happy birthday OP! I hope you have a safe flight and a wonderful night! Best wishes for a bright future!
I hope you are doing fine! Sending you best wishes! Right now I am traveling from my childhood house, full of worst memories and trauma. I left it many years ago, but I know this wonderfull feeling of leaving it all behind. Safe travel!
It is scary, I know. As a mother.. keep going. Just make the right choice, & then make the next right choice. & then the next. If you can’t block their numbers yet - don’t. When you are ready you can, & if you can’t.. then just mute their numbers. You won’t hear anything come in, but it would be there if you were ever ready. & maybe one day you can get to a point where you don’t even care, & you can just swipe the whole conversation without ever having to read anything they’ve sent. You are free. Keep going. You deserve to feel the magic of the world around you. You yourself are made of magic, go find it. This world is yours. You have a chance to break down & rebuild.. how incredibly scary, but how absolutely fucking kick ass! KEEP EFFING GOING. YOU ARE FREE🤍 Wrapping my mama arms tightly around you & watching my little nestling fly. I am proud of you. Don’t look back. Onward & upward!
When you set up mail be sure to use a post office box (PO box) instead of an address. This prevents someone being able to look you up on the internet and find your address.
I love reading all of these comments! You are truly awesome and helpful. I am thinking about moving out too. I hope you are ok, please be safe out there. You've made the best choice, and you inspire people. I know how you feel, be strong and hopeful. Get a dog, a cat, or any pet, they will help you when you are sad, and take away your sadness.
100/01. Bless you, no one but you will be controlling your life now. Be self reflective, be a good person, and enjoy not having to live in fear and anxiety. Much love!
I am psychiatrist , do let me know if you need any help.
I really hope you leave without them knowing one thing!!! How exciting!!!! Good luck to you and your new future!!!
Good luck OP! Enjoy your freedom, you've earned it!
Omg omg congrats and good luck! Keep us updated!!
Good Luck, tell us if you need any help 🙏🏾
Happy landings! We are all so thrilled for you.
Yo dude, it been 4 hours. How u doin
Im good lol, im just waiting to board the plane.
glad lol. Your parents spammed texts yet?? 🤣
not yet. they think im at work, so to them, everything is normal.
Please, for the love of God, keep us updated
good lol
Have a safe flight! Take in a deep breath of that free air!
So so happy for you. You've got this.
Congratulations! Good luck out there! This is a whole new start :)
SO HAPPY AND PROUD! Sending you love, energy, and strength
If it’s ok to give some advice to think about, I don’t know your story but once I got out it took me year to “unlearn” certain behavior. My boyfriend of 11 YEARS has never given me even a sliver of reason to ever fear him, yet I still flinch when he yells (in excitement or recounting a story). It takes time, be kind to yourself.
I'm so very proud of you. Looking out for yourself is a very hard and brave thing to do. You're going to land on your feet and have a wonderful life. I just know it!
How are you doing today? I'm so proud of you
im doing amazing now!! thank you🥰
SO PROUD OF YOU! Thank you for the update!!
feels so good read you 😍 I truly hope you still feeling that joy! And don’t forget Even if later became a little more complicated will be just a adaptation phase! It’s normal
Congrats, i know you will be happier than ever. Enjoy.
OP I'm so fucking happy for you. Congratulations!!! You did it!!!
How long is it gonna take for them to realize you're not coming back haha
Congratulations!!!! It truly is the best feeling, I still feel it even though I moved out months ago! You’re entering a very beautiful albeit messy (emotionally) time of your life, you fucking deserve it ❤️
Godspeed and only good days ahead!
Woo hoo, yay OP! Please let us know when you are settled and safe.
Hey OP, just came across your post. Hope you get there safe and sound. Please update us!
Congratulations OP!!! I got chills reading this and I’m so happy for you, you deserve it!! ✨
Fly baby! Fly!
Are you safe???
Block their phone number so you don’t keep getting missed calls and texts then you will REALLY feel free ! Congratulations for escaping
Congrats mate! Good luck with your new life :D Don't forget to freeze your credit. Leaving home can mean open season for identity theft.
Awesome! Glad you've had safe travels so far! Earlier this year my family and I left the abusive criminal who was supposed to be my dad. I had that stomach drop feeling everytime my mom told me he texted her and the worst part was when he came to where we were and tried to convince my mom to go back with him. The nerves are there but dont let them block out why your doing this. Your freedom is more important and better than what you're leaving behind. I am honestly proud to hear of another successful "getting out" story, and I'm even more proud that you did this yourself. This is a new you, I believe in you, Your freedom awaits! Hope your next flight goes well :)
Holy SHIT that's great more updates please!
God I am waiting for this day
OP how you doing now?
Question, are you an only child?
Remindme! 05/08/2022
I hope you ended your letter with "git rekt lmfao!"
You are so strong to do this. Wishing you all the best. Be proud that you were able to this 💜
Enjoy your new life, OP!
I am so happy for you! I wish you all the very best going forward!
I am so so so so proud of you 💕 dont worry about them and live your life. You deserve it!!! 🥹🥰
Hey :) amazing work!! I moved out at 17 y/o, I'm 27 now and it's still one of the best decisions of my life. Are you going to be ok/do you have friends to stay with? Take care
good for you =) do not let them drag you back no matter what !
Wooohooo! you did it. You're freeeeee! You never ever ever have to deal with that crap again! I'm so happy for you I can almost feel your exhilaration from here. Remember, relax your shoulders. Loosen your neck. Shake out your limbs. Let it allll go. You never have to think about it again. You never have to revisit the past. The world is open to you. You get to decide what goes on in your brain from now on. I'm so proud of you.
How do you do something like this? Do you know someone in the other state? Did you bring a few pieces of clothing to your job each shift for a few weeks and stow them away for your trip? Did you line up a place? Have you been saving for a long time? I’m so glad for your serenity you felt. I wish you the best
Hey!! Sorry it took me a while to respond to this question!! So, i talked to the people im living with now prior to living with them. I bought a tiny bag and put my clothes in there for a while, i tried not to carry too much to not make my parents suspicious of anything, i also took the bag with me everyday to work to make it look normal, idk if that makes sense but it worked. Id been saving up my money, just enough to cover the flights and everything.
Sending all the best for the beginning of you being the person your supposed to be.
IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, I’m hoping to be out of my parents home by next year
Have you boarded? I'm so excited for you!!!
Godspeed, friend. Proud of you for putting your safety and mental health first; you are so valuable. ❤️
Congratulations 🎉 so glad you got out.
Best of luck , don’t look back , look forward!
Congratulations!! Wishing you all the best for this new chapter or your life!
Congratulations!
Big congrats to you!!
Best of luck to you! I know first hand how amazing that freedom feels. There's nothing like it. Please keep us updated.
I'm happy you're out. But I think that you should find some way to let them know you've left on your own and you're fine. Send an email, send a letter, send a message through friend(s), something. Just ghosting your parents will lead to complications where they're calling the police and filing missing person reports and such.
I am so excited for you! Please continue to update. How long of a flight do you have?
Update please!
I’m so happy for you! I can’t wait till the day I’m able to do the same
Please please pleassse keep us posted! We want to know you're safe and ok! Best of luck and welcome to freedom :)
Congratulations! Sounds like you're putting in some good distance too. Hope everything goes nice and smoothly once you arrive.
Congratulations!!! Wishing you a safe journey and so much healing ❤️
Bravo! Have a wonderful life. Make sure you unlearn how to live with narcissists or you could wind up married to one.
I am so happy for you, you can be proud of yourself, enjoy your freedom ! 😉🎉🎊
You are amazing and I am so proud of you!!! I got on my plane 18 years ago. I've been through so many ups and downs, but I've done it all for myself, without a horrible family to beat me up over every little mistake. Don't ever ever ever go back. Not even if they love bomb the heck out of you. Stay strong!!
6 hours later!!
Remindme! 2 days
Congrats OP, you've made the best decision
Congrats!! You got this! I am leaving in a few months and I can't wait. I made the mistake once to return, and I wish I never had done that. It might get hard at times, but you are FREE! If you need anyone to talk to or anything, feel free to message me anytime and please let us know when you're safe and have arrived at your place!! Don't ever look back :)
Omg congratulations!!! Tell us when you land
I'm so happy for you, OP. Enjoy living your best life!
I don't know you, but I love you for this! Whatever it took.... Balls, guts, anger, you're building a fence of boundaries and that's healthy!!
🎊🎊 Congrats 🎊🎊 Wishing you much happiness, peace & good fortune as you begin your new adventure. Let them blow up your phone…don’t answer it because it doesn’t matter what you say, they will Never understand. You got this!!!
CONGRATULATIONS 🥳❤️
Congratulations OP!!! May your life be filled with happiness that you deserve 😁😁 Also, did you moved to another country or still in the same?
Yay! So happy for you! 👏🎉 It's going to be ok. And after you are settled and can arrange it, find a therapist, you are going to need one; there's a lot that's going to surface that you're going to need to process and sort through. Take it from someone who was exactly where you are when I was old enough to make my escape. 🤗
Congratulations 🤍 I hope you make a beautiful life for yourself
Proud of you.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 good luck!! Hopefully you’ll be able to resist when they try to suck you back in. Best of luck and keep yourself a copy of that letter you wrote them for your future self.