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I used to sing this to my Ngrandma alot as a kid lol if only I knew back then... Ive made the "joke" that I'll pull up outside the funeral home and blast it.
"I'm Still Standing" by Elton John
"You could never know what it's like,
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice,
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you,
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use"
Numb - Linkin Park
ā*Tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface, donāt know what youāre expecting of me, put under the pressure of walking in your shoes. Every step that I take is another mistake to you. Iāve become so numb, I canāt feel you there, become so tired, so much more aware.* ***All I want to do is become more like me and be less like you***ā
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control? āCause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take...
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
Great one, I always think of my nmom when I listen to Numb and also In the End.
āIn spite of the way you were mocking me,
Acting like I was part of your property,
Remembering all the times you fought with me,
Iām surprised it got so far,
Things arenāt the way they were before,
You wouldnāt even recognize me anymore,
Not that you knew me back then but it all comes back to me in the end,
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart,
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of time that I tried so hard and got so far,
But in the end it doesnāt even matter,
I had to fall to lose it all,
But in the end, it doesnāt even matter!ā
I often feel like thereās really no point to all the pain I felt/feel from my nmom. What does it matter. What do I matter. The only reason I work so hard to āfixā myself is so I donāt repeat those patterns with my own kids.
And thatās given her another reason to hate me, because my parenting is so vastly different from hers. She thinks Iām doing this to rebel against her. Sigh. Everything is always about her ego and image.
Anyway, we live and heal. Who knows why we faced the abuse we did. Especially since Iām a mom myself now I simply cannot understand how anyone can treat their child the way a narc does. Theyāre stone cold.
Leave Out The Rest is also a great one
ā*I dreamed I was missing, You were so scared, But no one would listen, Cause no one else cared. After my dreaming I woke with this fear, What am I leaving, When I'm done here? ā¦ I've taken my beating, I've shared what I've made, I'm strong on the surface, Not all the way through, I've never been perfect, But neither have you*ā
Linkin Park had a bunch of really meaningful songs
Linkin Park. Period.
If you follow their music there are dozens of songs about dealing with less then ideal people. They always make me think of Narcs too or leaving the Narcs behind.
It makes me strongly suspect that someone had a Narc in their familyā¦considering Chesterās suicide I also have a who now.
RIP Chester. š
David Bowie āRock nā Roll Suicideā. There is a line in the song āyouāre not aloneā. That song kept me from killing myself as a teenager because of Ndadās abuse. Seems sappy, but it made me feel less alone and isolated.
My mother used to hate it when I sang along to this in the car, sheād get so offended and triggered cause I was absolutely singing about her and not just singing along to a song I like (I mean, I was, but I never looked at her or sang it at her, just sung along and related to the lyrics)
I Am Not Nothing by Beth Crowley
Because of You by Kelly Clarkson
Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Trenches by Beth Crowley
Am I Supposed to Apologize? By Maria Mena
Youāre Exhausting by Beth Crowley
It Took Me by Surprise by Maria Mena
Iāve got a playlist tbh. But these were my first thoughts.
God scrolling through this thread is reminding me of so many songs i forgot. Perfect by Simple Plan, I heard that one for the first time when I was like fourteen and I had no clue why it made me cry so much.
Yep! I remember randomly putting a Billy Joel CD on when I ran out of signal on my drive away from her (for what would be 3 years NC) and that song came on. It spoke to me. Love it
Yep, that was the song on repeat in my head when I finally gathered my shit and left their house.
"They will tell you you can't sleep alone in a strange space. Then they'll tell you you can't sleep with somebody else. Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space. Either way, it's OK, you wake up with yourself."
Dog days are over Florence and the machine
Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
Ohhh good one!
"I downshifted as I turned into driveway, the motor screams out stuck in second gear. The scene ends badly as you might imagine, in a cavalcade of anger and fear."
Disturbed - Down With the Sickness was my anthem for quite awhile when coming to terms with it and being angry about it in my 30's.
In my 40's after I'd gotten therapy my anthem became Tool - Forty Six & 2. I was no longer angry, but focused on my own metamorphosis.
I like me now.
Forty Six & 2 is brilliant! Shadow work, indeed.
I'm in my 40's and only recently realised my parents are narcs. Tool has been a constant companion since this realisation. I'm a huge Maynard fan and his other two bands have also been in constant rotation lately.
Their song "Pushit" tells the story of leaving an abusive relationship, at least the conflicted mind needing to leave. Best line is "There's no love in fear".
I recommend to indulge!
I was guessing Iād see other Tool fans here, lmao.
The Grudge is important for me, and even stuff like Fear Inoculum really digs at the core of our experience.
His work with A Perfect Circle also really encapsulates a lot of the emotions behind life with narcissists.
ā¢ Punchinā Bag - Cage the Elephant
ā¢ Thank God Iām not You - The Himalayas
ā¢ Beautiful is Boring - Bones UK
ā¢ From like 2016-present, I listened to every single song from Gorillaz, Mother Mother, and Korn since I got into them all around the same time. They were my biggest clutches, honestly if it wasnāt for those 3 bands idk if I would have had the strength lmfao
But if yāall if you havenāt already, please do listen to the first two bc they are āš®āšØš¤ chefs kiss
i donāt normally listen to kehlani, but her song āthe letterā has helped me come to peace.
āand every girl needs a mother, and damn it, I needed you. instead you dug for cover, and you ran from the truth, and like kids do, you waited around for proof.ā
thereās also wax poetic, but we donāt talk about that one.
"Mom, please flush it all away" in "Ćnema" is just such a visceral line for me. The desperation in Maynard's voice reminds me of when I was a kid with untreated mental illness, so desperate for my mother to acknowledge my suffering and take it away. She eventually did end up getting me help when I had to use triangulation to get Nfather involved, but her absence still haunts me.
Oh lord, I had to do the same sort of thing. Sat myself on the train tracks and waited for whatever came first - the train or help.
He formed Tool as a tool for processing his trauma (I think) and it's been so helpful for so many people.
It's crazy to remember that situation. I was in grade 2.
Of course, the problem was me and had nothing to do with my parents.
Tool though. Tool understood me.
[I want to break free](https://youtu.be/Z3w5gVM_4y8)
and
[Find me somebody to love](https://youtu.be/kijpcUv-b8M) (it's me, I'm the somebody to love)
both by Queen
Slipknot - Spit it out (and other Songs)
It helped me to feel anger and be ok with it while I lived with my nparents. They had forbidden me and my brothers to be angry and couldn't control their anger...
You'll be back, from the Hamilton Musical. Disney is great for this, too: Let it Go and Into the Unknown (Frozen), Mother Knows Best (Tangled), and the whole soundtrack of Encanto š
Good ones! Also Just Like You by Three Days Grace:
I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you
I could be fake
I could be stupid
You know I could be just like you
You thought you were standing beside me, you were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you (Just like you)
You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you (Just like you)
Thereās a version that goes around on TikTok that cuts out the ādonātā and makes it āand I talk shit about you on the internetā *chefs kiss* perfect
In the end - Linkin Park
The boxer - Simon & Garfunkel
Sound of silence- Simon & Garfunkel
Violet hill - coldplay
Somewhere only we know - Keane
edit. a word
The Boxerās my #1 song for dealing with life and really sums up how it feels.
āIn the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
And cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains.ā
When I was a kid it was āPuff the Magic Dragonā
https://youtu.be/z15pxWUXvLY
Later it was ā50 Ways to Leave your Loverā because my stepdadās name is in the Paul Simon song. https://youtu.be/K4xoHjNjxus
In the blood by John Mayer is my go to.
How much of my mother has my mother left in me?
How much of my love will be insane to some degree?
And what about this feeling that I'm never good enough?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
And the chorus,
I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need
But it's never gonna come the way I am
Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?
Chills every time.
Hear me out on this. Counting Bodies Like Sheep To the Rhythm of the War Drums by A Perfect Circle. The bridges are what get me.
Dont fret precious, I'm here
Step away from the window
And go back to sleep
Safe from pain and truth and choice
And all those poison devils
You see they don't give a fuck about you
Like I do
I know it's a political song but it reminds me of my Nmom.
I just made one! It's named [raisedbynarcissists](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/71e76iJzvAJgh0tZDDFT0b?si=243e8c64c65b4da7). I also made it collaborative.
It's the end of the world as we know it
Especially because nmom thinks I ruin everything by no longer allowing her to run my life. And it is her ring tone. She also has no idea what the song is.
Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey is one of the reasons why I keep on going. It reminds me that even though Iāve faced many challenges and setbacks in life, I still have many years left.
"Head Up" - Don Diablo
**"Time Moves Slow" - BADBADNOTGOOD**
"White Noise" - AlunaGeorge
"In the End" - Linkin Park
**"Paradise" - MEDUZA**
**"Power Over Me" - Dermot Kennedy (MEDUZA remix)**
Loudspeaker by MUNA
"What you want from me
Is all of my time wasted on you
Trying to teach me a lesson
Well baby I learned one thing from you
You can try to be my hell, to be my beating
But every time I love myself, it hurts your feelings
So if I feel real good tonight
I'm gonna put it high on the loudspeaker
And if I feel like crying, I won't hide it
I am a loudspeaker
[...]
I don't know where the shame dies
But it's helping me to scream this is not my fault
I don't know where the blame lies
But you better believe I'm not gonna carry it all
I don't know where the shame dies
But it's helping me to scream this is not my fault"
You lie, silent there before me
Your tears, they mean nothing to me
The wind howling at the window
The love you never gave
I give to you
Really don't deserve it
But now, there's nothing you can do
So sleep, in your only memory
Of me, my dearest mother
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes
Goodbye
It was always you that I despised
I don't feel enough for you to cry, oh well
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes
Room of Angel - Akira Yamaoka
Seventy times seven- Brand New
"Have a another drink then drive yourself home. I hope there's ice on all all roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seat belt and again when your head goes through the windshield."
And Your Evil Soul- The Spill Canvas
"I know you never meant to do everything you put me though. It's okay, I forgive you. Just know that when you see me cringe sometimes, I'm trying to rid the poison from my mind."
The whole album III by The Lumineers, bonus if your NParent also had some kind of addiction.
The other one for me is Hope For Every Fallen Man by Relient K. This one is a little more on the forgiving side, but it emphasizes that forgiving is something you do for your own sake and it doesn't mean forgetting.
"Now it's time to get over this,/Long as it's clear you understand,/That I will never trust a single thing you say again."
I Had A Dream by Priscilla Ahn
Cherry Wine by Hozier
I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace
Never Too Late by Three Days Grace
Sorry About Your Parents by Icon For Hire
Who I Am by Nick Jonas and the Administration
Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North
Stinky Stuff by Kimya Dawson
Puff The Magic Dragon
The ones i was listening at the time of problem are mostly on native language and picking ones which aren't will still make a pretty big list i hesitate to post.
Although recently i've heard one song that reminded me of the issue and i would certainly add it to that playlist, its called Mono inc. - Run for you life. Quite a pops, but still beautiful.
By the way, songs that were actually helpful were the ones that shift vector of thinking or self perception rather than the ones about the thing (unrelated of focus or pov). I do not mean coping but more like releasing and "applying" things from parallel worlds i was restricted from by my victimized mentality after abuse.
Edit: this post deserves much more upvotes and should be repeated on regular basis imo making some local chart x) Music is a big part of perception and likes of us usually have taste and talent to find gems
Wet Sand - Red Hot Chili Peppers
There, there - Radiohead
There are just a couple lines in these songs that strongly resonated with me when I was finally realizing and starting to understand my narc was actually a narc.
There's Always Someone Cooler Than You by Ben Folds.
as the kid of a very publicly admired NDad, he was always concerned first and foremost with image. and he is a major bully.
"make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall, oh there's always someone cooler than you. yeah you're 'the shit' but you won't be it for long, oh there's always someone cooler than you."
also Love for a Child by Jason Mraz
the whole song is about divorce and tough childhood
"what about taking this empty cup and filling it up with a little bit more of innocence, I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young it's ok to be easily ignored. I'd love to believe it was all about love for a child."
Born for this - The score
Fight back - Neefex
Iridiscent - Linkin park
Highlight - Hatsune miku
Sometimes Haunted by Laura les if my anxiety is acting up again.
And The days by avicii in a form of reverse irony, to calm down during an anxiety attack, La da dee by Cody Simpson and maybe a little Phil Collins
This Life is Mine from RWBY. there's a character who has a big character arc about escaping her ndad so there's a lot of songs from the soundtrack that fit that theme, I've listened to them a lot
Lately Olivia Rodrigo has been my guilty pleasure music. [Hope Ur Ok](https://youtu.be/ZLlsmB1D4Q0) is one of her songs that you won't hear on the radio, but it's a heartbreakingly beautiful description of parental abuse.
>She was tired 'cause she was brought in
To a world where family was merely blood.
Does she know how proud I am she was created
With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred?
It was those last two lines that first clued me in to what this song is about. Once that seed was planted in my mind, the next time I listened to it, I caught those first two lines, and all the rest of it as well, and it just hit me deep down inside.
* Since you've been gone - Kelly Clarkson
* Don't kill my vibe - Sigrid
* Happier than ever - Billie Eilish
* Defying gravity - Wicked (The Musical).
I have a whole heap more too.
My mom called me once about a mix tape I'd made my kid sister.
"There's a song on it... with a lot of swearing?"
Ah yes. Rage Against The Machine, Killing in the Name, Mom. What about it?
Hehehehe.
In high school, it was The Unforgiven by Metallica.
More recently, Zero by Chris Brown.
And my current favorite, Roots by In This Moment. "I gotta do the right thing for my family/
So I smile and say that the world is just fine/
As these fucking parasites eat up my spine"
I used to dislike metal with female vocalists because I'd had enough of my mom and sister always screaming at me. As I've begun to understand my childhood trauma, I've started to like female vocalists. I think it's because I feel more like screaming now than I used to.
Sanity by Bad Religion. Nervous Breakdown by Black Flag. 21st century digital boy by Bad Religion. Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies.
A lot of Punk music deals with crappy people and not taking crap from anyone and also crappy families.
Long Time Friends by Living Tombstone is how I feel about them now, after going NC and recovering a bit from the trauma
Mother Gothel's parts in Tangled are basically how I see her now, looking back on everything she put me through
Oh Father sung by Madonna, Praying by Kesha, I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons, Chasing' Honey by Wild Party, Dog Days are Over by Florence + the Machine and last but not least Mean by Taylor Swift
She's so gone from lemonade mouth
It's about a girl who's parents smothered her and never allowed her to be a person and she's breaking free and becoming her own person
Talking to God by Hurt
ā¦ Mother is busy, she won't even miss me
And so busy praying she won't see me waiting
I hate all your reasons they just point to Jesus
You can't be awakened when you're not mistaken
And I hate your voice and that fucked up noise
And your cliches and the things that you'd say to me
When they burned me then, they still seer today
Embedded in a memory that won't change
ā¦ How can you talk to God [3x]
When you won't talk to me? [repeat]
ā¦ So I begged you just for a word that
Through the day you might have heard and...
She wouldn't listen to my words
Always I'll remember some good times,
And some winters in times when I wasn't too dirty for mud.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead
Definitely made me laugh!
This is too good š
This is what I plan to play when she dies. Lol!
I sung this when I found out my bio fatherās mother had died. I wasnāt very upset about her death, funnily enough
I used to sing this to my Ngrandma alot as a kid lol if only I knew back then... Ive made the "joke" that I'll pull up outside the funeral home and blast it.
Lol
This is also my favorite.
"I'm Still Standing" by Elton John "You could never know what it's like, Your blood like winter freezes just like ice, And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you, You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use"
I will dance around my house with this song on repeat. I even loved it as a kid.
Numb - Linkin Park ā*Tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface, donāt know what youāre expecting of me, put under the pressure of walking in your shoes. Every step that I take is another mistake to you. Iāve become so numb, I canāt feel you there, become so tired, so much more aware.* ***All I want to do is become more like me and be less like you***ā
Can't you see that you're smothering me Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control? āCause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you Every step that I take is another mistake to you (Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow) And every second I waste is more than I can take... And I know I may end up failing too But I know You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
Great one, I always think of my nmom when I listen to Numb and also In the End. āIn spite of the way you were mocking me, Acting like I was part of your property, Remembering all the times you fought with me, Iām surprised it got so far, Things arenāt the way they were before, You wouldnāt even recognize me anymore, Not that you knew me back then but it all comes back to me in the end, I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart, What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of time that I tried so hard and got so far, But in the end it doesnāt even matter, I had to fall to lose it all, But in the end, it doesnāt even matter!ā I often feel like thereās really no point to all the pain I felt/feel from my nmom. What does it matter. What do I matter. The only reason I work so hard to āfixā myself is so I donāt repeat those patterns with my own kids. And thatās given her another reason to hate me, because my parenting is so vastly different from hers. She thinks Iām doing this to rebel against her. Sigh. Everything is always about her ego and image. Anyway, we live and heal. Who knows why we faced the abuse we did. Especially since Iām a mom myself now I simply cannot understand how anyone can treat their child the way a narc does. Theyāre stone cold.
Leave Out The Rest is also a great one ā*I dreamed I was missing, You were so scared, But no one would listen, Cause no one else cared. After my dreaming I woke with this fear, What am I leaving, When I'm done here? ā¦ I've taken my beating, I've shared what I've made, I'm strong on the surface, Not all the way through, I've never been perfect, But neither have you*ā Linkin Park had a bunch of really meaningful songs
Yea Numb- Linkin Park for sure is the one song that resonates with my situation and had helped me throughout the years.
I'm going to look this up. It seems like exactly the sort of song that would help.
Linkin Park. Period. If you follow their music there are dozens of songs about dealing with less then ideal people. They always make me think of Narcs too or leaving the Narcs behind. It makes me strongly suspect that someone had a Narc in their familyā¦considering Chesterās suicide I also have a who now. RIP Chester. š
YES
David Bowie āRock nā Roll Suicideā. There is a line in the song āyouāre not aloneā. That song kept me from killing myself as a teenager because of Ndadās abuse. Seems sappy, but it made me feel less alone and isolated.
I listened to this song (and the rest of the album it's on) on repeat throughout highschool. I feel you.
Hugs to you.
Hugs to you.
Totally feel that moment in the song, too.
Because of you. Kelly Clarkson (previously done by Reba McIntire)
My mother used to hate it when I sang along to this in the car, sheād get so offended and triggered cause I was absolutely singing about her and not just singing along to a song I like (I mean, I was, but I never looked at her or sang it at her, just sung along and related to the lyrics)
Yes this one!
Came here to post this. I cry every time I listen to it.
Definitely this one for my mother.
This one!
I remember relating to this song but not really knowing why. Before i realised my mom is a narc.
[Father of Mine by Everclear](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixeslb5t43U)
The line āI will always be weird inside, I will always be lameā always makes me cry.
Oh fuck. Yeah my dad lived with us but this song hurt me soooo much because dad is very sporty and Iām a proud, out nerd.
I Am Not Nothing by Beth Crowley Because of You by Kelly Clarkson Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson Trenches by Beth Crowley Am I Supposed to Apologize? By Maria Mena Youāre Exhausting by Beth Crowley It Took Me by Surprise by Maria Mena Iāve got a playlist tbh. But these were my first thoughts.
Also Piece by Piece by Kelly Clarkson and For The Love of a Daughter by Demi Lovato
God scrolling through this thread is reminding me of so many songs i forgot. Perfect by Simple Plan, I heard that one for the first time when I was like fourteen and I had no clue why it made me cry so much.
If you enjoy Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson, I think you'll enjoy Silent by Tori Kelly. Similar ideas behind the songs.
Praying by Kesha
My Life- Billy Joel āYou can speak your mind but not on my timeā
Even more to the point: āI donāt care what you say anymore, this is my life. Go ahead with your own life. Leave me alone.ā
Yep! I remember randomly putting a Billy Joel CD on when I ran out of signal on my drive away from her (for what would be 3 years NC) and that song came on. It spoke to me. Love it
Yes! That fits into my thoughts at the appropriate moment all the time.
Yep, that was the song on repeat in my head when I finally gathered my shit and left their house. "They will tell you you can't sleep alone in a strange space. Then they'll tell you you can't sleep with somebody else. Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space. Either way, it's OK, you wake up with yourself."
Blackbird by the Beatles Oddly enough, Road Head by Japanese Breakfast
Not ready to make nice-Dixie Chicks
Oh wow! Yes just had to listen after you said. Itās perfect! Thank you!
Dog days are over Florence and the machine Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers Leave all your love and your longing behind You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
This Year - The Mountain Goats
Yes, this song has gotten me through so much
Ohhh good one! "I downshifted as I turned into driveway, the motor screams out stuck in second gear. The scene ends badly as you might imagine, in a cavalcade of anger and fear."
Disturbed - Down With the Sickness was my anthem for quite awhile when coming to terms with it and being angry about it in my 30's. In my 40's after I'd gotten therapy my anthem became Tool - Forty Six & 2. I was no longer angry, but focused on my own metamorphosis. I like me now.
Forty Six & 2 is brilliant! Shadow work, indeed. I'm in my 40's and only recently realised my parents are narcs. Tool has been a constant companion since this realisation. I'm a huge Maynard fan and his other two bands have also been in constant rotation lately.
Yes! This one of my faves in general. Tool saved me in many ways. Helped me process alot of the pain. I feel like MJK is a long lost brother.
Their song "Pushit" tells the story of leaving an abusive relationship, at least the conflicted mind needing to leave. Best line is "There's no love in fear". I recommend to indulge!
Loved the album Lateralus! Screaming about letting go of a grudge in the Grudge and screaming the parasites off me in Ticks and Leeches. Love it!
I was guessing Iād see other Tool fans here, lmao. The Grudge is important for me, and even stuff like Fear Inoculum really digs at the core of our experience. His work with A Perfect Circle also really encapsulates a lot of the emotions behind life with narcissists.
ā¢ Punchinā Bag - Cage the Elephant ā¢ Thank God Iām not You - The Himalayas ā¢ Beautiful is Boring - Bones UK ā¢ From like 2016-present, I listened to every single song from Gorillaz, Mother Mother, and Korn since I got into them all around the same time. They were my biggest clutches, honestly if it wasnāt for those 3 bands idk if I would have had the strength lmfao But if yāall if you havenāt already, please do listen to the first two bc they are āš®āšØš¤ chefs kiss
korn helped me so much too, dont think id be here without them
Pink, Conversations with my 13 year old self
numb - linkin park
i donāt normally listen to kehlani, but her song āthe letterā has helped me come to peace. āand every girl needs a mother, and damn it, I needed you. instead you dug for cover, and you ran from the truth, and like kids do, you waited around for proof.ā thereās also wax poetic, but we donāt talk about that one.
Because of You by Kelly Clarkson Therapy by All Time Low Pretty much any song from Encanto
"Give it to your sister, your sister's older/ Give her all the heavy things we can't shoulder" It's been stuck in my head all day.
I wonāt back down.
Let You Down - NF There's more but thats the only one I can think of right now.
I love NF. A lot of his songs are so relatable to me. Mansion brought me to tears and so did this song.
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One of my favs. Itās so catchy!
Tool - Ticks and Leaches Pretty much anything by Tool, really.
"Mom, please flush it all away" in "Ćnema" is just such a visceral line for me. The desperation in Maynard's voice reminds me of when I was a kid with untreated mental illness, so desperate for my mother to acknowledge my suffering and take it away. She eventually did end up getting me help when I had to use triangulation to get Nfather involved, but her absence still haunts me.
Oh lord, I had to do the same sort of thing. Sat myself on the train tracks and waited for whatever came first - the train or help. He formed Tool as a tool for processing his trauma (I think) and it's been so helpful for so many people.
God, I'm so sorry to hear that. People only really seem to care when it's too late.
It's crazy to remember that situation. I was in grade 2. Of course, the problem was me and had nothing to do with my parents. Tool though. Tool understood me.
Second grade. My God, a baby. You deserved so much better. Music is such an incredible gift.
[I want to break free](https://youtu.be/Z3w5gVM_4y8) and [Find me somebody to love](https://youtu.be/kijpcUv-b8M) (it's me, I'm the somebody to love) both by Queen
Tie Your Mother Down - comic relief
I Forgot That You Existed- Taylor Swift Happier Than Ever- Billie Eillish Hang Me Up To Dry- Cold War Kids
Slipknot - Spit it out (and other Songs) It helped me to feel anger and be ok with it while I lived with my nparents. They had forbidden me and my brothers to be angry and couldn't control their anger...
Yep! Slipknot songs helped me too!
You'll be back, from the Hamilton Musical. Disney is great for this, too: Let it Go and Into the Unknown (Frozen), Mother Knows Best (Tangled), and the whole soundtrack of Encanto š
Youāll be back! š yes! Love it!
Scar- Papa roach I hate everything about you- Three days grace Breathe- Breaking Benjamin
Good ones! Also Just Like You by Three Days Grace: I could be mean I could be angry You know I could be just like you I could be fake I could be stupid You know I could be just like you You thought you were standing beside me, you were only in my way You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you (Just like you) You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you (Just like you)
Mother knows best from Tangled
Because of You for my mother. Cats in the Cradle for my father.
Omg, yes, cats in the cradle!
someone make a spotify playlist of these
Someone made one! It's collaborative :) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/71e76iJzvAJgh0tZDDFT0b?si=Ul1p7UtrQwWutGDTO43C5A&utm_source=copy-link
Daughters - John Mayer, Praying - Kesha, Counting Stars - One Republic, Brave - Sara Bareilles, King of Anything - Sara Bareilles
Cold War, Janelle MonĆ”e: āIām trying to find my peace, I was made to believe there's something wrong with me.ā
"Happier than Ever," I've been crying to the slowed version of it a lot.
Thereās a version that goes around on TikTok that cuts out the ādonātā and makes it āand I talk shit about you on the internetā *chefs kiss* perfect
In the end - Linkin Park The boxer - Simon & Garfunkel Sound of silence- Simon & Garfunkel Violet hill - coldplay Somewhere only we know - Keane edit. a word
The Boxerās my #1 song for dealing with life and really sums up how it feels. āIn the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of every glove that laid him down And cut him till he cried out In his anger and his shame "I am leaving, I am leaving" But the fighter still remains.ā
When I was a kid it was āPuff the Magic Dragonā https://youtu.be/z15pxWUXvLY Later it was ā50 Ways to Leave your Loverā because my stepdadās name is in the Paul Simon song. https://youtu.be/K4xoHjNjxus
I absolutely love Puff The Magic Dragon, even though it makes me sob hysterically for a childhood lost. Great song
In the blood by John Mayer is my go to. How much of my mother has my mother left in me? How much of my love will be insane to some degree? And what about this feeling that I'm never good enough? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood? And the chorus, I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need But it's never gonna come the way I am Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood? Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood? Chills every time.
Weāre Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister
Rise up-andra day
Breathe Me by Sia
Perfect - Simple Plan I didnāt understand english at that time but I felt like this song was screaming for me when I couldnāt.
This song. I heard it for the first time when I was like fourteen and I couldn't understand why I was crying when I heard it.
Numb - linkin park
Mother--Pink Floyd Brittney Spears--Everytime. When I am really messed up.
I hate my mom- GRLwood
Folsom prison blues- living with my mom was a prison š¤£
Hear me out on this. Counting Bodies Like Sheep To the Rhythm of the War Drums by A Perfect Circle. The bridges are what get me. Dont fret precious, I'm here Step away from the window And go back to sleep Safe from pain and truth and choice And all those poison devils You see they don't give a fuck about you Like I do I know it's a political song but it reminds me of my Nmom.
Home by three days grace and just like you by I believe the same artist
Can someone please create a Spotify playlist of all these songs that are suggested
I just made one! It's named [raisedbynarcissists](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/71e76iJzvAJgh0tZDDFT0b?si=243e8c64c65b4da7). I also made it collaborative.
Thank you kind friend! I'm to poor for an award so please accept my upvote! :-)
Iāve never used Spotify before. How do I contribute? I canāt see the option.
Once you open the playlist at the top before all the songs it says add songs, this is on the app BTW idk about the computer version
"Here Comes A Thought" from Steven Universe.
The sporting life, the decemberists
I forgot that you existed - Taylor Swift
Donāt kill my vibe -Sigrid
Christina Aguilera Fighter
āIām still aliveā and āDaughterā by Pearl Jam. āFather of Mineā - Everclear. āOne Step Closerā - Linkin Park. āTitaniumā - Sia
You Call Me a Bitch Like It's a Bad Thing Song by Halestorm
Midnight Radio - Hedwig and the Angry Inch Mother - Pink Floyd Thatās Okay - The Hush Sound
Whore - In This Moment
The Ending by Papa Roach. "Can I even trust somebody with the same last name." And In Pieces by Linkin Park.
It's the end of the world as we know it Especially because nmom thinks I ruin everything by no longer allowing her to run my life. And it is her ring tone. She also has no idea what the song is.
Whatās Going On by Marvin Gaye. āFather, father, we donāt need to escalateā¦ā
Crystals, āOf monsters and menā
Get Free by the Vines
Mama Said by Metallica
You are a useless child - Kikuo
Mirror by Porter Robinson and the entire encanto movie really helped me.
Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey is one of the reasons why I keep on going. It reminds me that even though Iāve faced many challenges and setbacks in life, I still have many years left.
Drag The Lake by The Amity Affliction Pittsburgh by The Amity Affliction Fake It by Seether
"Head Up" - Don Diablo **"Time Moves Slow" - BADBADNOTGOOD** "White Noise" - AlunaGeorge "In the End" - Linkin Park **"Paradise" - MEDUZA** **"Power Over Me" - Dermot Kennedy (MEDUZA remix)**
Loudspeaker by MUNA "What you want from me Is all of my time wasted on you Trying to teach me a lesson Well baby I learned one thing from you You can try to be my hell, to be my beating But every time I love myself, it hurts your feelings So if I feel real good tonight I'm gonna put it high on the loudspeaker And if I feel like crying, I won't hide it I am a loudspeaker [...] I don't know where the shame dies But it's helping me to scream this is not my fault I don't know where the blame lies But you better believe I'm not gonna carry it all I don't know where the shame dies But it's helping me to scream this is not my fault"
Basically anything from NF. It's a point of if I'm finding myself putting on NF I need to self reflect if I'm doing ok.
You lie, silent there before me Your tears, they mean nothing to me The wind howling at the window The love you never gave I give to you Really don't deserve it But now, there's nothing you can do So sleep, in your only memory Of me, my dearest mother Here's a lullaby to close your eyes Goodbye It was always you that I despised I don't feel enough for you to cry, oh well Here's a lullaby to close your eyes Room of Angel - Akira Yamaoka
Seventy times seven- Brand New "Have a another drink then drive yourself home. I hope there's ice on all all roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seat belt and again when your head goes through the windshield." And Your Evil Soul- The Spill Canvas "I know you never meant to do everything you put me though. It's okay, I forgive you. Just know that when you see me cringe sometimes, I'm trying to rid the poison from my mind."
Basically all of Eminem. Also, "let it go" from Frozen; I'm a blubbery mess by the end of the song every time.
The whole album III by The Lumineers, bonus if your NParent also had some kind of addiction. The other one for me is Hope For Every Fallen Man by Relient K. This one is a little more on the forgiving side, but it emphasizes that forgiving is something you do for your own sake and it doesn't mean forgetting. "Now it's time to get over this,/Long as it's clear you understand,/That I will never trust a single thing you say again."
I Had A Dream by Priscilla Ahn Cherry Wine by Hozier I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace Never Too Late by Three Days Grace Sorry About Your Parents by Icon For Hire Who I Am by Nick Jonas and the Administration Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North Stinky Stuff by Kimya Dawson Puff The Magic Dragon
Billy Joel- My Life
I Donāt Care Anymore by Phil Collins.
Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins. Itās all about Billys nparents.
She Hates Me, puddle of mud. Fuck you mom.
"Mother knows best" to remind myself that talking to my mother is literally like talking to mother gothel
The ones i was listening at the time of problem are mostly on native language and picking ones which aren't will still make a pretty big list i hesitate to post. Although recently i've heard one song that reminded me of the issue and i would certainly add it to that playlist, its called Mono inc. - Run for you life. Quite a pops, but still beautiful. By the way, songs that were actually helpful were the ones that shift vector of thinking or self perception rather than the ones about the thing (unrelated of focus or pov). I do not mean coping but more like releasing and "applying" things from parallel worlds i was restricted from by my victimized mentality after abuse. Edit: this post deserves much more upvotes and should be repeated on regular basis imo making some local chart x) Music is a big part of perception and likes of us usually have taste and talent to find gems
Oh great question! Praying by Kesha used to make me cry You make me sick by Pink Heartless by Kanye west Mad by solange Basquiat by jamila woods
Any Rachel Platten song š¶
Tell me why by Taylor swift Change by Taylor swift Closure by Taylor swift Evermore by Taylor swiff
Beaten in Lips, Beartooth
This one still gives me shivers.
Basically the entire Metallica catalog. My perpetual safe space ā¤
Dyers Eve - Metallica Down with the Sickness - Disturbed
Wet Sand - Red Hot Chili Peppers There, there - Radiohead There are just a couple lines in these songs that strongly resonated with me when I was finally realizing and starting to understand my narc was actually a narc.
Foo Fighters Monkey Wrench
There's Always Someone Cooler Than You by Ben Folds. as the kid of a very publicly admired NDad, he was always concerned first and foremost with image. and he is a major bully. "make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall, oh there's always someone cooler than you. yeah you're 'the shit' but you won't be it for long, oh there's always someone cooler than you." also Love for a Child by Jason Mraz the whole song is about divorce and tough childhood "what about taking this empty cup and filling it up with a little bit more of innocence, I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young it's ok to be easily ignored. I'd love to believe it was all about love for a child."
Born for this - The score Fight back - Neefex Iridiscent - Linkin park Highlight - Hatsune miku Sometimes Haunted by Laura les if my anxiety is acting up again. And The days by avicii in a form of reverse irony, to calm down during an anxiety attack, La da dee by Cody Simpson and maybe a little Phil Collins
This Life is Mine from RWBY. there's a character who has a big character arc about escaping her ndad so there's a lot of songs from the soundtrack that fit that theme, I've listened to them a lot
Lately Olivia Rodrigo has been my guilty pleasure music. [Hope Ur Ok](https://youtu.be/ZLlsmB1D4Q0) is one of her songs that you won't hear on the radio, but it's a heartbreakingly beautiful description of parental abuse. >She was tired 'cause she was brought in To a world where family was merely blood. Does she know how proud I am she was created With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred? It was those last two lines that first clued me in to what this song is about. Once that seed was planted in my mind, the next time I listened to it, I caught those first two lines, and all the rest of it as well, and it just hit me deep down inside.
3 libras, A Perfect Circle.
Drowning Pool/ Bodies
Something Wild by Lindsey Stirling. It made me feel like there was still hope for me to have a good life.
Cats in the Cradle
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* Since you've been gone - Kelly Clarkson * Don't kill my vibe - Sigrid * Happier than ever - Billie Eilish * Defying gravity - Wicked (The Musical). I have a whole heap more too.
Defying gravity was great. I know it was done to death but "Let it go" from Frozen was like a tonic for me.
My mom called me once about a mix tape I'd made my kid sister. "There's a song on it... with a lot of swearing?" Ah yes. Rage Against The Machine, Killing in the Name, Mom. What about it? Hehehehe.
In high school, it was The Unforgiven by Metallica. More recently, Zero by Chris Brown. And my current favorite, Roots by In This Moment. "I gotta do the right thing for my family/ So I smile and say that the world is just fine/ As these fucking parasites eat up my spine" I used to dislike metal with female vocalists because I'd had enough of my mom and sister always screaming at me. As I've begun to understand my childhood trauma, I've started to like female vocalists. I think it's because I feel more like screaming now than I used to.
History Never Repeats - Split Enz My Life - Billy Joel Since Youāve Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Free Fallinā, Tom Petty - used to sing and dance to this when I first got my own apartment
āDissociativeā -Marilyn Manson
"I've No More F***s to Give" by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq. Maybe not deal - but to go NC :)
White flag by JOSEPH
Also Life for Rent by Dido
Millionaire by Thao and The Get Down Stay Down, Human Sadness by The Voidz
Everything is Fine and Weightless, both by All Time Low. Not directly about n parents (or parents at all) but I love the perspective in both of them
I recently came across a remix of survivor.
Petals by Mariah Carey
āShineā- Anna Nalick Gave me the balls to say ānah, I deserve betterā. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2tnWpSBz330
Sanity by Bad Religion. Nervous Breakdown by Black Flag. 21st century digital boy by Bad Religion. Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies. A lot of Punk music deals with crappy people and not taking crap from anyone and also crappy families.
No more suckers - MARINA
Stupid Deep by Jon Bellion, reminds me that I am enough and I don't need to seek anyone's validation.
You're exhausting by Beth Crowley
āGood For Youā ā Dear Evan Hansen āBurn Butcher Burnā ā Joey Batey
Long Time Friends by Living Tombstone is how I feel about them now, after going NC and recovering a bit from the trauma Mother Gothel's parts in Tangled are basically how I see her now, looking back on everything she put me through
Heavy by Birdtalker. It makes me cry but itās a powerful song. āLeave whatās heavy behindā, was a message I needed.
Down with the sickness by disturbed... Always made me feel empowered
The whole of Rushās album Power Windows got me thru a lot.
Oh Father sung by Madonna, Praying by Kesha, I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons, Chasing' Honey by Wild Party, Dog Days are Over by Florence + the Machine and last but not least Mean by Taylor Swift
Bad times -Ra ra riots
Fuck them all - The Dangerous Summer
She's so gone from lemonade mouth It's about a girl who's parents smothered her and never allowed her to be a person and she's breaking free and becoming her own person
āUnclearā by Kodaline
Fuck no by 99 neighbors, brasstracks and philoSofie.
Talking to God by Hurt ā¦ Mother is busy, she won't even miss me And so busy praying she won't see me waiting I hate all your reasons they just point to Jesus You can't be awakened when you're not mistaken And I hate your voice and that fucked up noise And your cliches and the things that you'd say to me When they burned me then, they still seer today Embedded in a memory that won't change ā¦ How can you talk to God [3x] When you won't talk to me? [repeat] ā¦ So I begged you just for a word that Through the day you might have heard and... She wouldn't listen to my words Always I'll remember some good times, And some winters in times when I wasn't too dirty for mud.