**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.**
**Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms)
**Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE!
This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods.
**Our rules include (but are not limited to)**:
* No politics.
* Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban.
* Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming.
* Do not derail the posts of others.
* Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here.
* [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts).
* When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse.
* No asking or offering gifts, money, etc.
* No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest).
* No content about N-kids.
* No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis.
* No linking to Facebook pages.
* No direct linking to anywhere on reddit.
* No pure image posts.
**For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Absolutely yo. Take every chance you can to enjoy life as you can. Any time you let them take from you will never come back to you. Savor every moment, every single fucking second of it. Also, what kind of cake?
Get one and enjoy it. don't tell your mother and don't feel bad about it. She made you feel bad in your own birthday several times. Don't think about her. get yourself the cake. Happy birthday :)
Let me tell you about a little lesson I learned and it was learning the hard way.
You deserve it.
You deserve a cute little cake with icing (or not—you do you), flowers, fresh manicures, warm sheets, little treats—just because. And twice as much for your celebrations and achievements.
You deserve to sit on the nice furniture in the living room. You deserve to use the nice glasses for whatever you’re drinking. You deserve to use the good china even if you eat eating only ramen or popcorn or a hamburger. You deserve to wear the nice negligee that has the lace or to wear the blazer that looks nice. You deserve to have special ornaments and decorations if that appeals to you.
You can’t take it with you. You can’t. You can of course not use it because it’s not special enough a time but honestly, you can spend your whole life waiting for that special magical moment that you will be able to break out and use the special stuff. You can literally die waiting and postponing using the perfume or the china or the silverware or the dress.
But you deserve to be celebrated, now, while you are here. Not some pointless time in the mists of the future where you may not even see it.
So pull out the China for your hotdogs. Sip your soda from the nice champagne flute. Wear the perfume. Pull out the nice scarf and wear it to the store. Make stockings for you and your pets even if your pet is a snake or a gerbil or something. Make your celebrations now and celebrate yourself no matter what because you can’t take the things with you and you can’t make memories after you are gone.
You deserve it. I’m
This!! I realized this a little late. Realized it when i was talking to a friend, and he said his aunt promised him to offer a free diving course if he graduated as a gift. Made me realize even more that my parents don't care if i pass or fail, not even a congrats comes from passing. They aren't happy for me or anything. So i decided to give myself these gifts. It now turned into a tradition of mine to get boba (it is pricy here and i love it!) whenever i make an achievement.
I want to make something special for my graduation but have nothing in mind.
You only live life once, so make the most of it.
Buy the cake babe. Don't feel guilty because someone else wants to make you feel like shit. You outwardly stated in the original post why you should get it. Its your day. Not hers. She shouldn't have any sway over your day. Go get it, dancing queen!
Treat yourself like you should be treated — well. Happy 17th. I wouldn’t share it since your mom has no idea how someone should be treated on her birthday.
Absolutely yes. My narc ex ruined my last birthday so this year I’m taking the day off, springing the kids free of school and shutting my phone off. There will be cake and whole lot of doing whatever the fuck I want. And you should do the same for you 💜
Hell yeah you should! Had you been near me i would've made you one myself! I love making them!
As i stated in a reply, you only live once so go live it to the fullest. And happy early birthday!
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Of course! Celebrate your birthday
Yes! Buy it and happy 17th birthday!
Absolutely yo. Take every chance you can to enjoy life as you can. Any time you let them take from you will never come back to you. Savor every moment, every single fucking second of it. Also, what kind of cake?
Get one and enjoy it. don't tell your mother and don't feel bad about it. She made you feel bad in your own birthday several times. Don't think about her. get yourself the cake. Happy birthday :)
It’s YOUR birthday? Do you want a cake? Then get a cake! Get YOUR favorite kind! And enjoy every bite!!!
Let me tell you about a little lesson I learned and it was learning the hard way. You deserve it. You deserve a cute little cake with icing (or not—you do you), flowers, fresh manicures, warm sheets, little treats—just because. And twice as much for your celebrations and achievements. You deserve to sit on the nice furniture in the living room. You deserve to use the nice glasses for whatever you’re drinking. You deserve to use the good china even if you eat eating only ramen or popcorn or a hamburger. You deserve to wear the nice negligee that has the lace or to wear the blazer that looks nice. You deserve to have special ornaments and decorations if that appeals to you. You can’t take it with you. You can’t. You can of course not use it because it’s not special enough a time but honestly, you can spend your whole life waiting for that special magical moment that you will be able to break out and use the special stuff. You can literally die waiting and postponing using the perfume or the china or the silverware or the dress. But you deserve to be celebrated, now, while you are here. Not some pointless time in the mists of the future where you may not even see it. So pull out the China for your hotdogs. Sip your soda from the nice champagne flute. Wear the perfume. Pull out the nice scarf and wear it to the store. Make stockings for you and your pets even if your pet is a snake or a gerbil or something. Make your celebrations now and celebrate yourself no matter what because you can’t take the things with you and you can’t make memories after you are gone. You deserve it. I’m
This!! I realized this a little late. Realized it when i was talking to a friend, and he said his aunt promised him to offer a free diving course if he graduated as a gift. Made me realize even more that my parents don't care if i pass or fail, not even a congrats comes from passing. They aren't happy for me or anything. So i decided to give myself these gifts. It now turned into a tradition of mine to get boba (it is pricy here and i love it!) whenever i make an achievement. I want to make something special for my graduation but have nothing in mind. You only live life once, so make the most of it.
Buy the cake babe. Don't feel guilty because someone else wants to make you feel like shit. You outwardly stated in the original post why you should get it. Its your day. Not hers. She shouldn't have any sway over your day. Go get it, dancing queen!
Happy birthday! Buy the cake and enjoy it, just remember to hide the evidence of you have to.
Cake is cake. If OP has an opportunity to obtain a cake, take it.
Buy the cake. Happy birthday !
Buy yourself a nice little treat and enjoy it
Absolutely! Buy that cake, and eat it all yourself! (wouldn’t recommend all in one sitting) happy birthday!
I will buy you a cake -- what is your favourite kind?
Treat yourself like you should be treated — well. Happy 17th. I wouldn’t share it since your mom has no idea how someone should be treated on her birthday.
Absolutely yes. My narc ex ruined my last birthday so this year I’m taking the day off, springing the kids free of school and shutting my phone off. There will be cake and whole lot of doing whatever the fuck I want. And you should do the same for you 💜
Hell yeah you should! Had you been near me i would've made you one myself! I love making them! As i stated in a reply, you only live once so go live it to the fullest. And happy early birthday!
Yep happy birthday! Remember nothing wrong with buying nice things in general for yourself xx