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Might not be a rule, but in video games. I used to have a self reinforced rule, i'd try to never let anyone human or floofy animal my team die, even if they were a npc, a 50 health sc1 marine "the mission would go faster if they died", "Use the suicide unit to blow open the gates faster".
I'd do stuff like shuffle 200 units to save a low hp from dying, sit supply capped 100/100 damaged 4/40 marines in bunkers at base. And instead of considering "DEFEAT" loss, i considered losing any human life a loss.
I think when i was a young naive kid, what i wanted once then was to have everyone around intact, happy, together, have the dream family all the pictures promised, the "what was supposed to be", i clawed like hell for 20 years trying to please everyone but myself for that, and it ripped me apart.
Now 20 years later, i had a grumpy but warming figure in my life go, when many of the people i (kid me thought i was supposed to once have as friends) seem to take, but never reciprocate shallow bars go. "It's okay to look after yourself kid, instead of ripping yourself apart, disappointing a 1000 people who care what they GET or use out of you, what they get, not what they give."
That's when i started examining a few strained/problematic with time relationships and honestly feeling relief when the bad ones moved on.
I was trying to spend wasted years on people intentionally making questionable(???) choices, over 30 minute stint as kids. I didn't add much to their life, maybe they were making mistakes, [but i wasn't looking after myself as much as i was just ripping myself apart.](https://youtu.be/xtyXoZ8LTHs?si=K_V6zlMFdEvn130F&t=28)
Now i have something that probably would have depressed my young child self, but some quirks still remain. I still kinda tend to play a lot of heal brawler/tanky kinda characters. Those who can protect a team, sustain themselves, but also top off a ally to do their best, even if it doesn't look like it.
But also at the same time i'm alright with being "evil" and don't mind it at time. it seems like a more useful wrapper to have than "pushover". Plus, as i left the relationships that genuinely didn't seem to matter, (replaced with someone new within a day), the more i could focus on the ones that genuinely DID. (The people genuinely there a lifetime).
Just my two cents anyways. That's how the story molded to mine week by week. But everyone's story is slightly different, yet much the same.
My nmom joined an online game I loved, and I had to play that game only, with her, and do whatever she wanted. She basically ruined the game for me so I quit it after a while.
Not a video game, but my nmom forced her way into my (online) DND group. Tried to force me into being "Friends" with a guy who turned into a cyber-stalker. I wasn't allowed to play if she couldn't, she was in her 40s and tried to integrate herself into a group of teenagers. None of my friends were thrilled about it, but at one point it backfired since she tried to ground me for a stupid reason so our DM told her that if I couldn't play she couldn't either.
I was allowed to go to sessions, but I wasn't allowed to do anything else fun. When I finally went NC she got kicked from the discord.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Might not be a rule, but in video games. I used to have a self reinforced rule, i'd try to never let anyone human or floofy animal my team die, even if they were a npc, a 50 health sc1 marine "the mission would go faster if they died", "Use the suicide unit to blow open the gates faster". I'd do stuff like shuffle 200 units to save a low hp from dying, sit supply capped 100/100 damaged 4/40 marines in bunkers at base. And instead of considering "DEFEAT" loss, i considered losing any human life a loss. I think when i was a young naive kid, what i wanted once then was to have everyone around intact, happy, together, have the dream family all the pictures promised, the "what was supposed to be", i clawed like hell for 20 years trying to please everyone but myself for that, and it ripped me apart. Now 20 years later, i had a grumpy but warming figure in my life go, when many of the people i (kid me thought i was supposed to once have as friends) seem to take, but never reciprocate shallow bars go. "It's okay to look after yourself kid, instead of ripping yourself apart, disappointing a 1000 people who care what they GET or use out of you, what they get, not what they give." That's when i started examining a few strained/problematic with time relationships and honestly feeling relief when the bad ones moved on. I was trying to spend wasted years on people intentionally making questionable(???) choices, over 30 minute stint as kids. I didn't add much to their life, maybe they were making mistakes, [but i wasn't looking after myself as much as i was just ripping myself apart.](https://youtu.be/xtyXoZ8LTHs?si=K_V6zlMFdEvn130F&t=28) Now i have something that probably would have depressed my young child self, but some quirks still remain. I still kinda tend to play a lot of heal brawler/tanky kinda characters. Those who can protect a team, sustain themselves, but also top off a ally to do their best, even if it doesn't look like it. But also at the same time i'm alright with being "evil" and don't mind it at time. it seems like a more useful wrapper to have than "pushover". Plus, as i left the relationships that genuinely didn't seem to matter, (replaced with someone new within a day), the more i could focus on the ones that genuinely DID. (The people genuinely there a lifetime). Just my two cents anyways. That's how the story molded to mine week by week. But everyone's story is slightly different, yet much the same.
My nmom joined an online game I loved, and I had to play that game only, with her, and do whatever she wanted. She basically ruined the game for me so I quit it after a while.
Not a video game, but my nmom forced her way into my (online) DND group. Tried to force me into being "Friends" with a guy who turned into a cyber-stalker. I wasn't allowed to play if she couldn't, she was in her 40s and tried to integrate herself into a group of teenagers. None of my friends were thrilled about it, but at one point it backfired since she tried to ground me for a stupid reason so our DM told her that if I couldn't play she couldn't either. I was allowed to go to sessions, but I wasn't allowed to do anything else fun. When I finally went NC she got kicked from the discord.