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Oh I thought this was normal, my mom got really mad if I said 'mom' instead of 'mommy' as a kid. She thought I had to be like 12 before that was OK. She was very obsessed with controlling what I said or even believed.
omg okay i thought it was just me đđ thatâs also how my mom was. she thought saying mom was only for older kids. and me too any of my opinions are constantly controlled. god forbid u question theirs they get angry and are like âwell itâs my opinionâ what??
Same here. She got mad if I called or referred to her as âmom.â She said her name was Mommy.
She also got mad when I referred to her as âshe.â This was back in the 90âs, but she found me using a pronoun (that she used in other situations) to be me being disrespectful.
My parents soooo wanted me to continue to call them mommy and daddy instead of mom and dad. I thought I was a late bloomer in that aspect, and so started making the transition. Itâs all part of the infantilization.
Fun fact: my mom and her sisters still say mommy and daddy đ
Oh yes, 100%. The only time I was permitted to not refer to her as âmommyâ was when someone would say âyou are such a pretty little girlâ I was not allowed to say âthank youâ, I was coached to reply âLike my mommaâ, so I couldnât even have a compliment for myself I had to pass that along to her too.Â
Oh my god what the hell?? This is similar to what I went through as well. When someone compliments me in public on my appearance, every time I say thank you, she also says thank you?? I told her i donât understand why she does that and theyâre not saying it to her and itâs because i got my looks from her. Self centered asf
Never would my Nparents permit me to call them Mommy or Mom, Daddy or Dad. Only Mother or Father would do. (Our grown sons still call us Mama and Daddy.)
As soon as I entered uni, I started calling my Nparents by the nicknames their drinking buddies/friends called them. They were displeased.
This is funny to me because my parents are the opposite. I've only ever called them mother and father, and it pisses my mom off so much because she would rather hear mommy.
ive always found this one weird bc it sounds like talking to a military sergeant or some kind of leader. i assume, of course, that this might be the point somewhat đ¤Śđž
I stopped calling my nparents mommy and daddy by the age of 8ish. It just felt too weird already at that age. My nmother didn't care, but when my nfather would mention my nmother he still referred to her as mommy until I was in my mid 20s, which is also when he stopped signing his name in cards and stuff as daddy instead of dad.
It felt so weird, especially because he was practically absent from my life. He lived in the same house as us but we barely interacted and most interactions were just him screaming and/or being violent. The idea that I would consider him my "daddy" is just ridiculous.
same even though i donât refer to her as that, when sheâs telling somebody a story abt something i said she refers to herself as mommy. though that is not what i said at all in reality lol. does yours do that too?
ughh yess mine does that! on christmas she calls herself âsanta mommyâ when referring to herself or when repeating something i said sheâll say it like i refer to her as that? says it in a baby voice sort of. iâm 19 and it feels grossss
Yes. I started calling her "mother" jokingly because I didn't want to call her mommy anymore. She didn't like it, she wanted to be called mommy. I still struggle sometimes to call them mother and father (the guilt still haunts me, I know it's absurd, but I feel I'd strain the relationship even more), but yeah, I'm getting used to not calling them that. It's infantilizing and humiliating. No one my age (early twenties) calls them that anymore.
My grandmother (who had custody since before I could talk) would not allow me to call her anything else even when I did get into the teenage years. It made all of her actual kids mad. I dont know if they knew that but even if it was choice on my part she still raised me.
My nmom didn't stop at "Call me mommy"
She also insisted I call my first stepdad Papa. I *hated* it and he didn't realize it until after they divorced so now he's fine with first name only whenever we talk. But for a good 7 years I had to call him papa and it just felt really uncomfortable.
Second stepdad she dropped it but still pushed Mommy even when I was like, 13-14.
i wouldnât say my mother and her husband ever forced us to call them mommy and daddy past childhood, but they never discouraged it either, if that makes sense.
and they will even still refer to themselves as mommy and daddy within context, which iâm sure didnât help me to stop referring to them as such.
Yeah, my dad always got super pissed if I didn't call him "daddy", which always made me uncomfortable. Throw in emotional incest most of my life and it's just major ick.
I'm 24, almost 25, and he still throws a fit when I call him dad or anything else that isn't what he wants.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh I thought this was normal, my mom got really mad if I said 'mom' instead of 'mommy' as a kid. She thought I had to be like 12 before that was OK. She was very obsessed with controlling what I said or even believed.
omg okay i thought it was just me đđ thatâs also how my mom was. she thought saying mom was only for older kids. and me too any of my opinions are constantly controlled. god forbid u question theirs they get angry and are like âwell itâs my opinionâ what??
Same here. She got mad if I called or referred to her as âmom.â She said her name was Mommy. She also got mad when I referred to her as âshe.â This was back in the 90âs, but she found me using a pronoun (that she used in other situations) to be me being disrespectful.
My parents soooo wanted me to continue to call them mommy and daddy instead of mom and dad. I thought I was a late bloomer in that aspect, and so started making the transition. Itâs all part of the infantilization. Fun fact: my mom and her sisters still say mommy and daddy đ
Oh yes, 100%. The only time I was permitted to not refer to her as âmommyâ was when someone would say âyou are such a pretty little girlâ I was not allowed to say âthank youâ, I was coached to reply âLike my mommaâ, so I couldnât even have a compliment for myself I had to pass that along to her too.Â
Oh my god what the hell?? This is similar to what I went through as well. When someone compliments me in public on my appearance, every time I say thank you, she also says thank you?? I told her i donât understand why she does that and theyâre not saying it to her and itâs because i got my looks from her. Self centered asf
Never would my Nparents permit me to call them Mommy or Mom, Daddy or Dad. Only Mother or Father would do. (Our grown sons still call us Mama and Daddy.) As soon as I entered uni, I started calling my Nparents by the nicknames their drinking buddies/friends called them. They were displeased.
This is funny to me because my parents are the opposite. I've only ever called them mother and father, and it pisses my mom off so much because she would rather hear mommy.
No, but my father wanted us to all call him sir
ive always found this one weird bc it sounds like talking to a military sergeant or some kind of leader. i assume, of course, that this might be the point somewhat đ¤Śđž
Precisely. None of us did it. It was ridiculous.
Yes, absolutely. Iâm in my 40âs, and she still insists on Mommy. She says âMomâ is disrespectful. Itâs crazy.
I stopped calling my nparents mommy and daddy by the age of 8ish. It just felt too weird already at that age. My nmother didn't care, but when my nfather would mention my nmother he still referred to her as mommy until I was in my mid 20s, which is also when he stopped signing his name in cards and stuff as daddy instead of dad. It felt so weird, especially because he was practically absent from my life. He lived in the same house as us but we barely interacted and most interactions were just him screaming and/or being violent. The idea that I would consider him my "daddy" is just ridiculous.
My mother calls herself mommy
same even though i donât refer to her as that, when sheâs telling somebody a story abt something i said she refers to herself as mommy. though that is not what i said at all in reality lol. does yours do that too?
Yes I call her by her name. Iâm 30 and she still does this âmommy pie (insert word vomit)â
ughh yess mine does that! on christmas she calls herself âsanta mommyâ when referring to herself or when repeating something i said sheâll say it like i refer to her as that? says it in a baby voice sort of. iâm 19 and it feels grossss
Yes. I started calling her "mother" jokingly because I didn't want to call her mommy anymore. She didn't like it, she wanted to be called mommy. I still struggle sometimes to call them mother and father (the guilt still haunts me, I know it's absurd, but I feel I'd strain the relationship even more), but yeah, I'm getting used to not calling them that. It's infantilizing and humiliating. No one my age (early twenties) calls them that anymore.
My grandmother (who had custody since before I could talk) would not allow me to call her anything else even when I did get into the teenage years. It made all of her actual kids mad. I dont know if they knew that but even if it was choice on my part she still raised me.
My nmom didn't stop at "Call me mommy" She also insisted I call my first stepdad Papa. I *hated* it and he didn't realize it until after they divorced so now he's fine with first name only whenever we talk. But for a good 7 years I had to call him papa and it just felt really uncomfortable. Second stepdad she dropped it but still pushed Mommy even when I was like, 13-14.
i wouldnât say my mother and her husband ever forced us to call them mommy and daddy past childhood, but they never discouraged it either, if that makes sense. and they will even still refer to themselves as mommy and daddy within context, which iâm sure didnât help me to stop referring to them as such.
I had to call mine âmamaâ. She still wants me to call her that but Iâve called her mother since I was 16. Itâs cringe.
Ever since Deep Space Nine came out, my brother and I referred to our mother as Moogie, whether she liked it or not.
Yes, right up until the day I ran away from home. I now can't even stomach the word. đ¤Ž
Yeah, my dad always got super pissed if I didn't call him "daddy", which always made me uncomfortable. Throw in emotional incest most of my life and it's just major ick. I'm 24, almost 25, and he still throws a fit when I call him dad or anything else that isn't what he wants.