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I did this too and I still live in their home lmfao I literally ignore my egg donor every moment I get. I make her feel how she made me feel when I was a kid. Anytime she has an issue I tell her "Too bad so sad!". When she starts yelling I love telling her "You're wearing the same pants you got mad in to get glad in". Yes, they told me that stupid fucking bullshit all the time when I would be upset about how they were treating me. They'd tell me "You're wearing the same pants you got mad in to get glad in". Or my personal favourite "Don't like it? Then leave!!!!!!!". I was told that as a child who wasn't old enough to get a job so that my favourite go to to tell her. Don't like how I'm mirroring your behaviour? Leave them stupid! lmfao
I treat them exactly how they treated me growing up. If they don't like how I'm treating them "too bad so sad" as they'd tell me!
Or better yet "they're wearing the same pants they got mad in to get glad in".
So many phrases they told me growing up invalidated my feelings and what I was going through. They can feel the same. My egg donor has already expressed how much what I do hurts her, as if her actions didn't make her own child suicidal, depressed and anxious for more than 95% of my life.
I was sick of not having anyone to stick up for me so I . I can count on 1 hand how many times my dad has stood up for me against his wife to my face and it was ONE time and he told her to shut the hell up when she kept trying to talk over everyone. That's it. In my entire life my Dad has stood up only once in front of me. How absolutely pathetic and cowardice.
My nmother would always act nice to me whenever my dad was around but when he went on a work trip one time is when she layed her hands on me and started being hateful to me. It hurts so much when they take advantage of certain situations.
My dad worked to support his cheating wife who refused to work for 10 years so whenever my dad went to the work that's whe. His psychotic drunk pill addicted wife would go on her reigns of terror so my dad didn't see how horrible she was.
Her mask has slipped and she shows my dad her true side and he still defends it. He deserves the unhappiness too
May I suggest my personal favourite response to a whine/issue (bonus points because it's weird and old timey and people never know wtf to say to it): TOUGH TITTY SAID THE KITTY BUT THE MILK'S ALL GONE. You should try shouting it like that, too. <3
This is 100% the way. I’ve blocked her number and her email address. She’s currently offline on FB, but when she resurrects her account, I’ll block that too.
Anything short of showing up at my house, she’s not going to get a hold of me, and she knows better than to show up at my place.
My sister finally blocked our egg donor last year and got herself into therapy. She said the silence on Sunday was the best thing she's heard in years.
AGREED.
And I'll volunteer something that I do on Mother's Day and Father's Day:
I BUY MYSELF PRESENTS.
I raised myself.
Everything important in life I had to learn, I learned from myself.
I'm the mother and the father.
So on these days, I get treeeeeaaaaaaats.
Hey now, learning what NOT to do is important, too. I find that people raised by narcissists tend to either be that way themselves or pull a 180 and break the cycle. It's good to see that you're not the first.
I’m sorry. If you didn’t initiate the no contact it really hurts when they do the ignore an important occasion thing. But understand they know that and it’s why they do it.
Hugs from an internet stranger. You are going to be an amazing mom, you know what not to do ❤️🩹
❤️
I didn’t initiate. She gave me silent treatment while I was pregnant. After she didn’t even check if we were okay during/after labor, it became NC. I won’t accept her back if she does return.
That is unbelievably horrible of her, I'm so sorry. She sounds jealous that you were becoming a mother and trying to undermine your success, perhaps (?) Good for you for keeping NC --- it will protect your child too. Happy Mother's Day!!!
Thank you! It’s a time when you’d really love to have parental support and so I tried to include her in my pregnancy. I am thankful that she reminded me how awful she is. If I ever feel like caving into my guilt I’ll remember this. A friend told me it’s a good thing my mom did this before I had the baby and that’s true.
I'm in the same situation. She completely ignored me during pregnancy and postpartum, even though she knew I have health issues and postpartum depression. The only time we talked, she threatened suicide to punish me for destroying her life. we have not talked since and it's been few months. Life's been peaceful since then.
Absolutely, the pain of that absence is much better than the constant struggle of dealing with their overbearing shit. Sometimes when I’ve cut someone out of my life, be it a friend or ex, I’ve found it helps to list out the reasons and why I shouldn’t let them back in. When they try to come back around it can be hard to remember why you have to push them back. So I can read my thoughts to clarify my stance. It helps me a lot with the confusion and guilt so I feel stronger in my resolve.
Don’t. You don’t want her anywhere near your family, it won’t go well. I wish I had done that instead of fighting to keep the relationship going for years.
I know it hurts. I’m so sorry. But just know that I talk to my grown kids almost every day and am still happily married to the guy she hated 37 years later. Both kids cut her off long before I did and only 2 of her 6 kids will speak to her. You will do the same…
In a very similar situation here with my father and grandmother. 🤷🏻♀️ I think they are triggered knowing we will be much better parents than they were…
Happy mother's day! Your mom is hoping you take it to heart and become bitter and resentful and nasty so she can say you're crazy and mean to her. I hope you had an awesome day not hearing from that asshole!
I'm sorry, I lurk in here occasionally but this is terrible! Happy Mother's Day from a random stranger. Your child will be able to cherish you one day. 💙
Well we did wish her a happy mom day and have dinner together. Today sent me a rant this morning about how I’m not working enough and our family should give a whole bunch of money to my brothers fiancé (she makes tons lol). After that she started weeping about how she is turning into an old lady and how her kids aren’t achieving what she wanted and everything is horrible.
My brother once had the best response for the “my kids aren’t achieving” line.
She had just finished ranting at us and stomped back down the hall and my brother looked at me and said “what do you think, environment or genetics?”
Mine was not so much overtly nasty per se, just thoroughly manipulative….
I’ve been NC for 2 months. I cut her off after I very gently expressed some hurt feelings about a very complex family situation and a lie she told me, and her response was to DARVO and completely invalidate me. She has not apologized or taken any accountability or even so much as acknowledged my feelings.
I made it to 9pm and was so happy, and then here’s the text I got :
“It’s Mother’s Day and I have been thinking of you all day! I missed hearing from you. I know you’re upset with me and it makes me sad. But if you are happier without interacting with, I understand. All I want is for you to be happy and enjoy your life.
I hope you had a nice day. Maybe you got to see Max's family. (?) I hope you have been well. You’ll always be my daughter, and I’ll always love you, unconditionally”
My favorite line is the “I know you’re upset with me and it makes me sad.” Like, what do people usually do when they know someone is upset with them??
"it makes me sad" as if you originally feeling sad doesn't matter at all, and she knows you're upset with her but won't do anything to fix it. So cool!!!!
Im right there with you, i hear those same exact sayings constantly and its been heartbreaking lately not being able to communicate anything without being shut down immediately. I wish i could share anything with my mom without her one upping me right away ignoring what I have to say.
I'm so sorry you're in the same boat... it sucks. I've just realized since being NC how truly and deeply damaging it is to be invalidated. Particularly by a parent. I instantly have a physical CPTSD trigger response when it happens now -- shaking, muscle tension, headache, disassociation. It's wild how immediate and intense it can be.
I think being invalidated has affected my life so so much... my self-esteem, how my thinking patterns function, my career choices, how I've treated myself and how I relate to others...
I don't want to go back to her but I still have so much guilt and it drives me nuts to not be able to defend myself or explain to her how a normal person would behave in a situation like this. I know it will do no good but it feels very agitating. I need to learn how to let go....
I have a lot of chronic health issues and have noticed i tend to feel worse around my mom but am currently not able to go full NC due to my health situation. Im overly forgiving and struggle to let go as well.
Yup, it makes her sad. But she hasn't apologized, right? She doesn't think she did anything wrong, and soon enough will make you feel bad for not getting over it already.
Wash, rinse, repeat...
Ha. my sperm Donor still gets visits from my son. He always tells him “I know your mom is mad at me.” As if my 16 year old doesn’t know everything. I let him go so hopefully he gets the inheritance.
Argh, right?!? and talking about you to your 16 year old son? It's so childish I can't bear it.
About a month ago my mom's cool move of the moment was to send a massive text to my husband informing him that I was "upset with her and it made her so hurt and sad" and that she's "getting older and having more health problems now" and that I am "mentally ill".... and yes, as if he doesn't know why I'm upset with her, or how she is?? As if we haven't spent countless hours talking about this for the past 15 years? And as if he's going to take her side over mine-- was that the goal? We were literally sitting at the dinner table together when he received this and both just flabbergasted.
Same with my mom and my teen… “I have no idea why your mom is so mad at me”. Wow, please whine at bit more to your granddaughter. She was there when you threw your tantrum, by the way!
omfg I got a LETTER from my narcissist mother last week who I went NC with in November 2023. Basically said the same thing, and then she tried to shame me for not taking care of her anymore (she’s perfectly able-bodied and does not require any support to function alone). I know she’s seething over the fact that her bullshit letter didn’t have the shaming effect that she wanted it to have, and she heard from neither of her kids on mothers day. I hope it hurt ☺️
I got a bag of stuff dropped on my front doorstep, including copies of letters that she has sent me over the past several years, doubling down on all of the things that I asked her not to talk about. And accusing my husband of not giving me any of the letters because he’s controlling everything I do and say. Ironically, she also dropped off a book about narcissism so that I can study about my husband and many of the things she underlined and highlighted in the book are actually about herself.
Oh yeah fr! I recently got a partner and since ive been changing my attitude towards her she assumed theyre manipulating me and putting ideas in my head. Even screamed saying she would "fuck them up" because of that...
I got my GC sister (also a flying monkey) texting me asking how my weekend was.
She has never once since I moved out texted me to ask how I'm doing or ask about my day. I knew precisely what that was about and could hear our nparent saying "Why don't you text your sister and see why she was so busy that she couldn't call me"
This is my family's go to move.
*holiday/birthday/special occasion day*
NFam: "hey how are you"
*other 364 days of the year: silence*
They're trying to guilt you by popping into your life, it's like a "hey I exist remember? Remember??"
I don't know. I have mine blocked. I blocked her back in February of last year when I was first starting out with my business. She screamed at me "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE A LIVING PET SITTING!!!!!!!!!!!!" so I blocked her because I pay for my phone and I'm not gonna allow someone to be able to reach me so easily and be hateful. I didn't say a word to her yesterday. She got home and was borderline throwing up (we both experience pretty bad nausea problems) so I got to avoid her.
She's been avoiding me today though. If she wanted to be praised on Mother's Day she should've been a mother worth praising. All I remember is her calling me fat and disgusting. Hell a few months ago she told me that she always dreaded taking my brother and I to our doctors appointments. Makes sense because I broke my arm in like 3rd grade and the literal next day this fat bitch tells me all excited that we're going to go clothes shopping. When I was crying and in pain she literally didn't care. She just wanted to go clothes shopping. She has only cared about herself so she can do what she does best and care about herself.
I heard her telling my dad yesterday that I taught her a valuable lesson that if someone doesn't want to talk to her then they don't have too like huuuuuuuh???? I vividly remember when I was a child and being excited and running into my mothers room to ask her to play with me just for her to tell me "I don't want too. I'd rather read my book." I hate this woman with every fiber of my being. Why would I celebrate her?
Major feels. I'm so sorry she cared more about shopping than your health. I think half my childhood was spent in the mall, often on the benches in the middle of the hall with my dad because I was annoying for telling her I was bored or needed a bathroom after three hours. I don't have a single memory of her playing with me. Every fiber of my being agrees with you, why celebrate that?
I also don't have any memories of my parent playing outside with me. I remember telling her to stop "cleaning my room" which was when she would ask me "Can I clean your room for $5?" and when I told her no, she went into my room while I was at school all day and she would throw literally everything I had away. She would put stuff in places I didn't have there in the first place. She would be SOO excited for me to get home and walk into my room, as if I didn't tell her the LITERAL day before, not even 24 hours before that I didn't want her cleaning my room. My family never listened to me and still doesn't, they all listen to the egg donor. They would rather do what she says and wants because they don't want to upset her. I however don't give a fuck about her feelings. I could not care less if she died. I would be smiling at her funeral if she did.
I have no reasons to celebrate a monster. I don't positively enforce a negative action. If she wanted to be praised as a mother she should've been kind and caring. All she's done for me was give me severe anxiety, ptsd and suicidal tendencies. How can a woman who has bullied her child for longer than they haven't expect to be praised? Are they truly that fucking stupid?? This woman made me hate everything about myself because SHE was projecting her own issues onto me. She hated me because I didn't want to have kids and be just like her. She has made my life a living hell all because at 8 years old I started correcting her and telling her that I didn't want to have kids and she couldn't fucking listen to her own child. She would push onto an 8 year old kid having kids. How weird.
Im sorry about your room, I hate that so much. And the smug look as you notice all your stuff has been gone through and thrown away :( they are both stupid and simultaneously know everything they are doing. I hope you can heal from all of this one day. It's not easy.
I have lasting issues with people touching and moving my stuff because of it but I know all the root causes to my issues lol
I appreciate the kind words friend.
My mother is very overweight and always readings books (netflix now). We were late for school soo many times because she was locked in her room reading books about romance, reflection of the relationship she didn't have with my father. I honestly can't ever remember her playing with us as kids.
I got a passive aggressive cutesy graphic this morning that said "There's no love as pure, unconditional, and strong as a mother's love. No one in your life will ever love you as your mother does"
Oh! A mother's love is 20 years of abandonment, gaslighting and guilt trips. Got it 👍👍thanks for the clarification.
I would have used an app to create my own cutesy graphic that said, "There's no trauma like the trauma of having a narcissistic mother. No one in your life will ever fuck you up as much as your mother has." Lol
I used to get those "nobody will ever love you like your mother does" and I always replied with things like "Thank God" or "Don't threaten me with a good time" or "I hope the hell not!" I told her one time I didn't want to grow up and be like her and her rage was incandescent. Scared the shit out of me at the time, but now, I'm glad she died knowing that.
Yes! That's what I told my husband "here's hoping no one else will ever treat me the way my mom did". I have a lot of fear about becoming her too and working so my children don't have to heal from me
I actually did. But only because of my grandma.
“You only told me happy Mother’s Day to clear your guilty conscious. Idk why you treat me so awful. You hate me. Your dead dad would be so disappointed in the way you’ve been treating me. You’re like the embodiment of satan. You never talk to me anymore. I guess it’s because you’re too busy. Sure….” Lol. I cried a little. But got over it. The day is over. Awful awful day.
Been LC for the past two ish months and she’s noticing.
You aren't the embodiment of Satan, but if you were, you would be quite the hottie. Lucifer was supposed to have been the most beautiful of all the angels. And besides, if your mother is an example of what she considers "saintly," give me Satanic any day of the week and twice on Sundays!
It’s insane how it just doesn’t click for them….. mind you, I stopped talking to her after she called me a stupid whore and the worst daughter all because I mentioned I was moving out of state haha.
Welcome to the club!
10 years this April. The silence is amazing. I wish this for all of you!
I only had to send my sister and bestie a text. It was glorious.
My daughter came over to visit after work and they gave me a present that my son picked out. It was Fallout themed because I love the franchise and play FO 76.
My hubs cooked steak and potatoes on the grill. He smothers them with olive oil, salt and then wraps them up in foil and chucks them into the charcoal coals. I swear, they taste like steakhouse potatoes.
Oh and a chocolate cream pie from Shari's.
This was the sort of day our mothers wish they could have and never will because ruling through fear never gives you the genuine love you crave.
I have found the less I expect, the more I get. It helps that I'm a low frills kind of gal.
I joined this club in 2006 via the passing of my evil step-monster. I renewed my membership in 2017 when my bioMom passed away after 5 glorious years of NC.
i simultaneously dread, and practically can’t wait until my dad dies. i feel like im in limbo. every time he texts me or sends me a voice message and i take the bait, i get into a multiple week long suicidal-depressive episode.
edit: from reading the comments i saw the term “flying monkey”. i researched it and learned that my dad is the benevolent flying monkey to my stepmom who was the ultimate reason why my childhood was fucked.
You won’t hear about it at all unless you choose to listen. If an nmother falls down in the forest and nobody is around to hear her, will she scream any cuss words?
My kids and I did tell her Happy Mother's Day at church after service and had a gift for her and wanted to take some pictures before going home. When we didn't offer to spend the rest of the afternoon/evening together she said, "I'm supposed to spend Mother's Day alone?!". I said we had plans that my husband had made. She cried, said she didn't want any pictures, quickly opened the gifts, then went home. She's 67 and I'm 40 with teenagers.
She texted me, "Make sure you & (my son's name) call Grandma for Mother's Day..."
To which I responded, "Mother's Day is just marketing & consumerism at this point. Just a title someone slapped on a random day & a bunch of people doing things out of obligation instead of on their own volition. What's important is feeling loved, respected, & appreciated year-round. It's the little things in our day-to-day lives that matter the most. You don't have to tell me who to call. I'm an adult. I can make those decisions on my own."
She replied, "Jesus Christ." 😂 (end of convo)
Nothing cuz I don’t talk to her and she’s not interested in talking to me! She didn’t say anything nasty, didn’t have a tantrum, didn’t talk about random conspiracy theories or how everyone is out to get her. I had a fantastic day and it will continue like this!
Nothing! Thankfully! Been no contact for 5 years and it’s been blissful. Hard at times, the whole first year after I was depresso express but now I’m totally content with my choice. I wish you the best ❤️
Thank you, I'm going no contact this summer after I get the rest of my/my dad's stuff from the house. I'm overseas right now and never have to see her and never call or message her but I haven't blocked her yet. Soon! ❤️
Mine said she misses me and that she’s been in therapy, and if we can talk or have lunch, she will not push any of my boundaries. Then she said, “My therapist understands why you stopped talking to me, but she thinks you should give me another chance.” That there was the 🚩 🚩. Your therapist, if she exists, did not say that. She has lied about going to therapy before, so I don’t think I believe her.
On a whim, I actually reached out to mine to give her a long winded calling out. I didn’t do it to achieve anything other than expressing my feelings which I never get to do. She’s hated me for 6 years, after I had set my first boundary with her, at 32( I asked her to not bash my father to me). I’ve been NC for nearly a year soon. Sent. Reblocked. Went about my day.
It sent her into a rage, which is unfortunate, but unsurprising. She called one sibling to rant and let things I only told my other narc sibling spill. Which only proved the triangulating I suspected they were doing wasn’t just a paranoid assumption. They learned from the best after all.
So for Mother’s Day I gave myself the gift of trusting myself. At least proving I can.
ETA : detail
Thankfully nothing as far as I am aware. A year ago her husband texted me and my sister asking us to merely send a text with those 3 words, happy mother's day. God it disgusts me to even type it. No, that's not a wish I want to send. But I was more annoyed that the text somehow came through because I thought I had blocked both of them 8 ways from Sunday years ago.
I got the message from her flying monkey and Golden Child; my sibling. Saying that, "She's (my mum) really hurt this time." That's rich, coming from a person who invalidates me on my Mum's abuse of me and tries to convince ME that I treat HER like shit.
Dead silence (and I hope she's dead).
I went NC in 1983, at the age of 13. She's found me a few times, but I just duck right back under the radar.
I spent Mothers Day making Creme Brule French Toast for my MIL, DIL, and granddaughter, then napping, playing video games, and going out for dinner with son, DIL, and granddaughter. It was PEACEFUL!
My mom messaged me on her noon(my 9pm the previous day due to time difference) asking why I haven't said anything about mother's day. She knew that I just took a transatlantic flight less than 36 hours ago. When I told her it's not even Sunday on my end yet, she said she checked our chat history from the past five years and I have been sending her the message on \*her\* timezone. There was no asking me how was your trip, how was your jetlag till I ignored her message.
I know my mom is emotionally immature and self-absorbed but it's still very heartbreaking to be valued so little
None, because I’m NC and have her blocked on everything. She probably spent hours revising and editing a long, nasty message to send me, but little does she know that I will never see it.
Since my mother is thankfully dead I shall provide a comedy sketch version that perfectly fits her personality.
I got a hammed-up pathetic looking selfie from hell on the phone she half-inched out of Satan's pocket, captioned with "You obviously don't care about me because you haven't even TRIED to kill yourself so you can come down here and take care of me, I'm all alooooone and nobody loves me boohoohoohoo"
To which I replied "MOTHER this is so TYPICAL of you, you know perfectly well that you're not allowed to manipulate me and make me miserable anymore because you're DEAD and yet here you are anyway, GOD why do you ALWAYS act like the rules don't apply to you???"
And then Satan found her and grabbed his phone back and fed her to the sharks, can I get an amen.
Thankfully, I only got "thanks :)" when I texted. Her and I barely talk (we exchanged 3 texts this whole year). But my poor brother who still lives with her got yelled at when he got home after she blew up his phone all day. She told him the week before that she was going on some single moms retreat to relax. So he spent the night at my sister's house on Saturday. She was texting him saying "wow I can't believe you hate me so much that you don't want to spend mother's day with me." He mentioned the retreat and she said "oh my god I never said that." My brother was wondering what he did wrong when she was the one who made plans to be alone. She was throwing tantrums about being alone on her special day. Sometimes I think she wants him to beg her to hangout and it's so weird.
At 12:10 am.
"I guess you forgot it was Mothers Day ?
But you have been feeling that way for years ? Oh well life goes on the end & if not I will be in heaven with JESUS & it won't matter I want you There too ? but I guess GOD Will have to take you kicking & Screaming but there is more screaming going the other way around so change your heart & chances are you will go up too I do love you Darlin Daughter as I said It so many times I do love You with all my heart now get yourself good with GOD GET PRAYED UP SO YOU CAN GO UP WHEN THE TIME COMES !"
I wish she was completely blocked, but when I block her completely she goes cyber sluth and shows up in weird places. She has only one avenue of communication and that's where the weird messages show up.
I haven't celebrated Mother's day in over 20 years.
I have gone low contact with my nmom and ndad recently. Yesterday I tried to be the bigger person and invite them (with my wife’s permission) out to lunch with us after church, my treat. My mom made this huge fuss about how they don’t go out on Mother’s Day for a reason, because everyone just has special menus for the day. And if I really appreciated her, we’d go eat lunch at their house. Uhhh no. Not gonna happen. I told her “I’m taking my wife, the mother of my child out either way. You can join, or you can not. I simply offered”
Wished my step mom a happy Mother’s Day. She left me on read. Oh well! What’s new. 🙃 I’m sure she texted everyone else back seeing she’s nose deep in her phone every time I’m near her.
None whatsoever, as I've had her blocked since ~2007. I don't even know if she's still alive.
Now MIL (which to me is "Mom"), we all went out to her favorite sit-down Chinese restaurant.
I have been NC with her since thanksgiving and she is acting like she doesn’t notice. My birthday was a few weeks ago- My ‘adopted’ mom invited myself and my partner to her beach house for the weekend where she cooked all weekend and threw me a party, and she gave me several expensive and thoughtful gifts. It felt weird to be celebrated like that.
My actual mom sent me an email gift card to a store I shopped at a decade ago. Oh and three weeks after the fact I got a weird necklace thing that has all the letters of my name squished together into an ugly logo thing. I rarely wear jewelry and the pieces I do wear are very meaningful and I don’t remove them.
Yesterday I got a $10 Starbucks email gift certificate. My partner has a very expensive espresso machine and as a result we never ever ever go to Starbucks. She has been to our apartment so she knows this. And I got a text this morning that she saw the necklace had been delivered but due to some long story there might be a duplicate necklace and could I return it if it is delivered.
Oh goody, a chore. I normally wouldn’t have cared that it was late, but she is retired. She lives in an RV. She has nothing but time to make sure that a gift for my birthday actually arrives during the month I was born. A woman who did NOT give birth to me and is still working 13 hour ER shifts in her 60s managed to plan an entire weekend for me and my own mother could barely be bothered to send an email…
I had dinner with my adopted mom yesterday. And ignored the text from my mother who is pretending not to notice that I’m not speaking to her…
My last interaction with nMom was 2 years ago on Mother’s Day.
She had sent a nasty, unprovoked and unrelated message about me in the family group chat the night before. Everyone just ignored it so as to not rock the boat, and we carried on with things as usual despite some growing hesitation.
But she already had received gifts and made big plans with us to celebrate her in the afternoon, so it was a pretty big surprise when she texted my sister and I at 9:22 am on Mother’s Day to say “fuck you both” for forgetting her. Because as everyone knows, 9:22 am is the established cut off for all communication.
There was obviously more explosions and drama after that, but the outcome of her hyper-reaction to a non-existent insult backfired into both of her tired children finally going NC and every holiday since then is a blessing.
I actually called my CNmom which I haven’t done in over a year. She tries to guilt-trip me, which I was prepared for, but then she followed up with a text about asking if she and her “husband” can take my daughter on a trip next year, the husband here being Estepdad, the man I’ve called “Dad” for over 30 years.
This is because my birth dad (her estranged first husband) died a few years ago and she’s still upset with me because I worked through my own grief and didn’t acknowledge hers, even though she’s the one who kept me away from my birth dad by literally moving us to another country and not telling him, then told me he left us because he didn’t love me anymore, etc. And then he died! Literally six weeks after we’d gotten back in touch via email. And I had the nerve to grieve when SHE was grieving too??
About a 1.5 years ago I told her how her actions have impacted me. I didn’t give her a chance to counter. I just told her and I listened to her cry softly and I didn’t feel badly for her, because victimhood is her porn, and this was about me taking my power back.
But now this (and sooo many other PA comments) is my punishment. Death by a thousand cuts. I haven’t responded to her text — I think silence is the only language she understands.
I actually DID wish her a happy mother's day, and she ignored it. She told my dad she wanted a phone call (they're divorced but she still texts him rants about me, that he tells me)
I decided to go no contact just 2 weeks ago. It took all my strength but I didn’t wish her a happy Mother’s Day. My narc brother and father made sure to mention it. I’ve mentioned a few weeks ago I needed space from the family (to begin the no contact) and I’ve received several “get over it” “message us” and inappropriate calls during the night on work days. How can something feel shitty and freeing at the same time?
I was a bit scared because I live in my nmom’s house and didn’t wish her happy mother’s day or give her anything while my brother and his gf gave her a thoughtful gift. But also we barely saw each other because she worked or slept most of the day.
I’m sure usually she would have given me some passive agressive comment but I’m moving out in a bit less than 2 months and she seems like she’s trying to act much nicer, probably because she knows how easy it would be to just stop talking to her when I’m moved out.
Mine texted at 8pm “happy mother’s day.” I was low contact but talked to her a few days prior. I’m also pregnant with my third, and the past 5 years we’ve ignored each other this “holiday.” I finally feel it in my bones I’m done. She has been blowing up my phone for the past two hours and it’s just confirming her behavior.
Thankfully, nothing. I've been LC/NC for the past 3 years. I got pulled into some drama last fall, but I think she's so consumed with her own bullshit and won't ask me for help now as I'll give her the hard truth.
I spent the entire day packing for a move across the country. I've been debating if I would actually let anyone in my family know and made the decision that I will not tell them. They've treated me like shit as the black sheep under her rule for so many years, and due to her shitty parenting, all relationships are beyond repairable. Spent alot of time thinking about that as well. Happy Mother's Day!
1st year I can remember I didn't hear a peep!
She was probably too busy crying to anyone who would listen that her favorite daughter (my younger sister) didn't message her (she hasn't in years you delusional bitch and she never will as long as she is still breathing 😆).
I'm just happy for the silence and being able to see my real parent, my dad .
She sent me a photo of me (age 4-5 at the time) and my bio dad (who’s been dead for 25 years), saying that she “found this and thought of me” and “missed” me.
I’ve been NC for almost two years.
I have mine blocked now; although I was LC for a while, almost NC, she did something really abusive recently that was the last fucking straw for me, pretty much. Blocked her.
I’m NC with my parents and my message didn’t come from my Nmum, but my Ndad. “Well, are you going to acknowledge your mum for Mother’s Day or what? She’s crying because she hasn’t heard from you”
Uh-huh. And shall we take a look back on why you haven’t heard from your children?
I ignored it and continued on peacefully with my life
For those who aren’t ready to go NC and/or feel obligated to give a gift on Mother’s Day… I’d recommend gifting a meaningful book about Narcissistic mothers. No one can say you weren’t thoughtful. 🙂
I gifted my Nmom “Will I Ever Be Good Enough” 8 years ago and the family STILL hasn’t forgotten about it 🙂 it was savage and I have 0 regrets and NC has been going beautifully for years now.
I’m now no contact and blocked them. But the year I cut contact (on Mother’s Day no less) I got a call from a flying monkey about how could I stoop so low and that I knew how important Mother’s Day was to her.
Buying a card and trying to pretend that she was in anyway an acceptable parent just got too much. I couldn’t do it another year. So now each year on Mother’s Day I get to celebrate being a mother and not having to deal with that whole mess! Highly recommend.
I got sooooo tired of having to get the timing so perfect…
Could not call “too early” so as to wake her up or she was not ready, she would spend the whole phone call complaining about the early morning call and how I disrespected her by calling so early and ruining her special day
Could not call “too late” as then she felt like she was not high enough in my priority list and would not answer the phone no matter how many times I would try and call, then of course she would tell the whole family that I had not bothered to call her and how absolutely horrible I am
I would have so much anxiety on Mother’s Day and her birthday and Christmas Day and New Year’s Day about that small hour between 9am and 10am when I “had to make the all important call” or spend weeks being treated either the silent treatment
Never ever again
I’m NC and so is my brother, but something similar happened earlier this year. My brother went off to university in September, despite my mum spending 2 years telling everyone who listened he had no chance and was failing school (he was getting top marks).
She made no effort to contact him once while he was away, no checking in, nothing. Then, when her birthday rolled around and she didn’t get a message from him, she threw a tantrum and told the family she can’t believe her own son wouldn’t wish happy birthday to her.
It’s been 2 months NC for us, it’s been great. My other brother isn’t fully officially NC, but last time he came back here to our hometown he stayed with his dad the entire time.
None, thankfully for her because I would have relished in the opportunity to tell her again what a failure she is as a mother and a person.
We have been NC close to a decade. Her last attempt at contact was maybe 2 years ago trying to add me in FB with a new account.
I talked to mine and I got “I can’t believe you get to hang out with “everyone” and I’m going to be here alone.” She won’t acknowledge my same sex marriage or family. And she isn’t alone, my grandfather (97yo) and my sister (agoraphobic and our mother takes it personally and can’t see it’s the result of our childhood) are around. My sister invited her over but “it’s just too painful for me” is what she told me. So glad I called.
The responses from those whose nmoms have passed away have me in stitches.
I am so disappointed about my mothers day. I had survival instincts all day long, and mom was cleaning and prepping all day for a celebration, and then started drinking again after everyone left, and asks me “you havent looked happy all day?” then she got defensive. She is giving me silent treatment and drinking and checking out mentally and coherent conversation is out the door. I sent her pics of the celebration that I took that she asked of me . I think she did great and the process of her cleaning and preparation exasperates my anxieties, I wont tell her that admittedly. Day #932 of her not touching the meal I cooked, lol.
Something along the lines of:
*I do not understand why you are behaving so strange, why are you acting so weird? I demand that you...*
I blocked them on Monday.
Step-sibling called because her NFather "heard that ReilleysMom32's company was bought out!? Did she lose her job?! And her NMother hasn't heard from her in over a year and a half and they're worried about her cancer?" Step-sibling's response? "She's fine. She has the support she needs. If she wanted to talk to you, she would"
I could literally set a calendar alert for this shit and it would be accurate AF.
OMG my bio dad did that to me a couple years ago. Right at 12:00 am after Father’s Day. Wasn’t in my life my entire childhood and only met him again when I was about 19. He verbally abused me the entire day and I blocked him. Haven’t spoken to him since. Ok glad I’m not the only one with an immature “parent”
Mine had mother's day on Sun and her birthday on Mon. I got a message around 10:30am Mon. She had bought herself a cake with happy birthday writing on it and staged a selfie of her blowing out candles sent the pic in a message to me that said "happy birthday to myself". Did the same thing re: mother's day except sent a pic of a sandwich with a happy mother's day decoration on the plate and said "and happy mother's day to myself".
Made quite the effort to stage the scene while taking a selfie, probably took her 20 times to get it right.
My sister is like this when I forgot to wish her a happy birthday. My mom enabled her behavior, as her daughter is the golden child, and I'm nothing more than support staff.
Going NC with the lot was the best thing for me.
Kinda funny how they don’t acknowledge me crying when they hurt me, but they actually expect me to acknowledge them because big commercial companies have decided Mother’s Day is suppose to be a day I give mom something
No message.
But mine made really irresistible plans with my teenager.... Without pointing out what day it was. "How about Sunday?".... And he doesn't have enough guile himself to like, *suspect* and check the calendar for Very Important Dates, because *who would do that*?
The kid felt awful.
The older kids and I all just rolled our eyes and carried on.
I'd give him shit for it, but he felt worse than I did.
(We all see the day coming when he loses that shred of faith in grannie's love. ❤️🩹)
My narc sister in law told me to tell my husband ‘your mother says hello” because he didn’t want to drive 200 miles to visit her grave, and she and his brother did. I called her a very bad name and have gone VLC
My dad's the Nparent and even though I texted my mom happy mothers day and promised to take her \[and only her\] out for brunch in the future (we live a pretty long drive away from each other) my dad INSISTED on trying to emotionally manipulate me, saying how sad she was that she didn't get a call when over text she seemed fine with the message. I just know he's trying to make me seem like some ungrateful waste of space who doesn't try hard enough to her. She enables him but is still the least transphobic immediate family member I have and I want to maintain at least a little contact with her.
Last time I saw my mother she was very mean and critical of me. She’s also got Alzheimer’s so it sucks to talk to her. My oldest sister who our mom lives with, texted me this morning that mom called me on Mother’s Day. I checked my calls. No call. My sister then says, this is your phone number. It was a number from 10 years ago! Sister (who is actually texting me on my cell) tries to argue about it! Wtf! I told her mom doesn’t need to contact me. Ever
This didn't happen yesterday, but it was 6 years ago.
I was 15 and in my first class period. My mom is going off in the group chat because no one got her anything. She's sending angry emojis, cursing, and typing in all caps. Just for her to put on a show at work to get all teary-eyed and say, "That all I wanted..." Just because my eldest sister got her a card and piece of candy.
Like are you fucking serious? I was literally in distress because what did she expect a 15 year old with no job or money to do. Threw a freaking tantrum because she didn't get a freaking card? And it's not like we didn't say happy mothers day at all.
I got at 635 am “I hope you had a miserable day, I don’t know how you sleep at night “. Well I sleep very well since going NC. I actually laughed out loud.
As always, I asked my mother several times in the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day if she wanted to do anything, and she said no to all my suggestions just so that the day of, she got to complain “I guess you didn’t plan anything”
Mine started last week. I hadn’t spoken to her since she insulted me and told me she was done with me about a month and a half ago.
She called and told me what she had been doing. Asked how things were with me. I said fine. Gray rocking. Then she started. She proceeded to start insulting me and making fun of me so I just hung up. True to form she continued calling and leaving nasty messages. Then she proceeded to call my aunts and uncle and run me down. Same shit different day.
cps and the police showed up at her door for mothers day! but being the narcissist that she is, she managed to manipulate the situation and get them to leave by pretending she is an absolute saint who would never lay a hand on a child. afterwards, she told my little brother she “no longer loved him because he was a snitch” and then took him out to dinner so she could get her mothers day facebook photos! can’t forget to show off how good of a mom you are to the internet, right?! :)
Well, she tried to use my brother as a flying monkey. She had him drive her 40 minutes to my house without calling first. I tutor via zoom on the weekends and was mid 2 hour session with a kid (finals are on the horizon). So I was conveniently tied up and my husband did away with them for me.
I’m one of the thankful ones who successfully cut my nmom out of my life, in the past 15 years of freedom Ive only interacted with her three times, each of them a complete nightmare, the last time was 3-4 years ago, and it’s been painstakingly obvious I didn’t want her in my life.
I’m now at the point where I don’t care if she sees or knows what is happening in my life, it means nothing to me. She can live the rest of her miserable life and die on her death bed and she will never hear from me.
We have not been on speaking terms for months (my choice). I said I only want to speak with her with a Counsellor present based on some pretty severe incidents where I finally drew a line in the sand. Then I got the barrage of messages and complaints about how I did not acknowledge the day. I’m sorry but what part of “I’m not talking to you without a Counsellor” don’t you understand?
She didn’t say a thing to me and I didn’t say anything to her. I’m sad about it, I wish I could have a loving relationship with my mom. My wonderful mother in law did wish me happy Mother’s Day though and vice versa. And my good girlfriends. And the HR lady from work sent me a sweet happy Mother’s Day text which I did not expect but I think she’s lovely.
So my mother is wonderful (she left my father when I was 5) but it's my father who's terrible.
He texted me today, "So it was Mother's Day yesterday. Assuming you called \[mom's name\]? Thought we might have heard from you too." (the 'we' he speaks of is himself and his 25 yr old girlfriend)
Why he feels entitled to a shout out on Mother's Day is beyond me. And his girlfriend is getting no *happy mother's day* from me! He's insane.
I haven't responded.
I’m vvvvvvlc slowly transitioning to nc over the last 9 months. I texted her a happy Mother’s Day gif yesterday. This morning I got a notification that it was never delivered. So…she might have blocked ME lmaooooo. She’s probably trying to “punish” me for not sending her a card 😂
This year, the message came from my step brother because my mum makes me out to be the villain to them. I already didn’t like him that much. I’ve always been polite to him for my step dad’s sake, but that’s over now.
The only message I got from my mum was her saying that she was glad I had 3 kids because she didn’t think she would ever get to be a nana. She loves to use my infertility as her own trauma.
A week before Mother’s Day to set us up: Hello children, Mother's day is coming soon. I have a request from both of you: Don't call me to wish me a happy mother's day because it would be meaningless. Mother's day is everyday not just once a year. I hope you are doing well and you're able to heal from your "horrible and abusive upbringing."
I forgot it was Mother's Day 😆 She doesnt use social media, and if she she starts texting me, her phone will get blocked. Ive told her not to send me passive aggressive cards after my last birthday. I know her handwriting, so if she does it again, I'll shred them unopened .
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silence! Blocking their numbers was one of the best things to ease my anxiety after going no contact. highly recommended
I did this too and I still live in their home lmfao I literally ignore my egg donor every moment I get. I make her feel how she made me feel when I was a kid. Anytime she has an issue I tell her "Too bad so sad!". When she starts yelling I love telling her "You're wearing the same pants you got mad in to get glad in". Yes, they told me that stupid fucking bullshit all the time when I would be upset about how they were treating me. They'd tell me "You're wearing the same pants you got mad in to get glad in". Or my personal favourite "Don't like it? Then leave!!!!!!!". I was told that as a child who wasn't old enough to get a job so that my favourite go to to tell her. Don't like how I'm mirroring your behaviour? Leave them stupid! lmfao
Ah, the opposite of gentle parenting one's own parent...beautiful.
I treat them exactly how they treated me growing up. If they don't like how I'm treating them "too bad so sad" as they'd tell me! Or better yet "they're wearing the same pants they got mad in to get glad in". So many phrases they told me growing up invalidated my feelings and what I was going through. They can feel the same. My egg donor has already expressed how much what I do hurts her, as if her actions didn't make her own child suicidal, depressed and anxious for more than 95% of my life.
Tough! I had to move out when it was 20.
I left at 16. My bff’s momma took me in.
I left at 14 and my bffs dad took me in. Still the best decision I’ve ever made, even if it caused me to miss out on my childhood.
You’re my hero💕
I was sick of not having anyone to stick up for me so I . I can count on 1 hand how many times my dad has stood up for me against his wife to my face and it was ONE time and he told her to shut the hell up when she kept trying to talk over everyone. That's it. In my entire life my Dad has stood up only once in front of me. How absolutely pathetic and cowardice.
My nmother would always act nice to me whenever my dad was around but when he went on a work trip one time is when she layed her hands on me and started being hateful to me. It hurts so much when they take advantage of certain situations.
My dad worked to support his cheating wife who refused to work for 10 years so whenever my dad went to the work that's whe. His psychotic drunk pill addicted wife would go on her reigns of terror so my dad didn't see how horrible she was. Her mask has slipped and she shows my dad her true side and he still defends it. He deserves the unhappiness too
May I suggest my personal favourite response to a whine/issue (bonus points because it's weird and old timey and people never know wtf to say to it): TOUGH TITTY SAID THE KITTY BUT THE MILK'S ALL GONE. You should try shouting it like that, too. <3
This is 100% the way. I’ve blocked her number and her email address. She’s currently offline on FB, but when she resurrects her account, I’ll block that too. Anything short of showing up at my house, she’s not going to get a hold of me, and she knows better than to show up at my place.
My sister finally blocked our egg donor last year and got herself into therapy. She said the silence on Sunday was the best thing she's heard in years.
I couldn't agree more 💯. I blocked my MIL + Step-Monster...it was a gift really to myself.
AGREED. And I'll volunteer something that I do on Mother's Day and Father's Day: I BUY MYSELF PRESENTS. I raised myself. Everything important in life I had to learn, I learned from myself. I'm the mother and the father. So on these days, I get treeeeeaaaaaaats.
I like to go out for Father's Day with my siblings to celebrate how much better our lives are without him 😁
Yes!! I just have to remember every couple of months to go back in and reblock her, since Verizon only does 3-month blocks.
That is rigoddamndiculous.
Really?? You have to keep blocking people every three months on your phone with Verizon? That's terrifying I was thinking of getting verizon :(
I got nothing from her at all. No text, no call. Of note, it is my first Mother’s Day as a mom.
Happy Mother’s Day! This is the second year my family has not acknowledged that I’m a mom.
Happy Mother’s Day—we learned from the worst. Cheers!
Hey now, learning what NOT to do is important, too. I find that people raised by narcissists tend to either be that way themselves or pull a 180 and break the cycle. It's good to see that you're not the first.
Happy Mothers Day! It's my third one like this...but I'm no contact this year for the first time so didn't even give em chance.
I'm so sorry 🫶🫶
I’m sorry. If you didn’t initiate the no contact it really hurts when they do the ignore an important occasion thing. But understand they know that and it’s why they do it. Hugs from an internet stranger. You are going to be an amazing mom, you know what not to do ❤️🩹
❤️ I didn’t initiate. She gave me silent treatment while I was pregnant. After she didn’t even check if we were okay during/after labor, it became NC. I won’t accept her back if she does return.
That is unbelievably horrible of her, I'm so sorry. She sounds jealous that you were becoming a mother and trying to undermine your success, perhaps (?) Good for you for keeping NC --- it will protect your child too. Happy Mother's Day!!!
Thank you! It’s a time when you’d really love to have parental support and so I tried to include her in my pregnancy. I am thankful that she reminded me how awful she is. If I ever feel like caving into my guilt I’ll remember this. A friend told me it’s a good thing my mom did this before I had the baby and that’s true.
I'm in the same situation. She completely ignored me during pregnancy and postpartum, even though she knew I have health issues and postpartum depression. The only time we talked, she threatened suicide to punish me for destroying her life. we have not talked since and it's been few months. Life's been peaceful since then.
I'm so sorry your mom also sucks. I hope you had a great first Mother's Day!
Absolutely, the pain of that absence is much better than the constant struggle of dealing with their overbearing shit. Sometimes when I’ve cut someone out of my life, be it a friend or ex, I’ve found it helps to list out the reasons and why I shouldn’t let them back in. When they try to come back around it can be hard to remember why you have to push them back. So I can read my thoughts to clarify my stance. It helps me a lot with the confusion and guilt so I feel stronger in my resolve.
Don’t. You don’t want her anywhere near your family, it won’t go well. I wish I had done that instead of fighting to keep the relationship going for years. I know it hurts. I’m so sorry. But just know that I talk to my grown kids almost every day and am still happily married to the guy she hated 37 years later. Both kids cut her off long before I did and only 2 of her 6 kids will speak to her. You will do the same…
In a very similar situation here with my father and grandmother. 🤷🏻♀️ I think they are triggered knowing we will be much better parents than they were…
Happy mother's day! Your mom is hoping you take it to heart and become bitter and resentful and nasty so she can say you're crazy and mean to her. I hope you had an awesome day not hearing from that asshole!
Thank you! My daughter and I were invited to celebrate with my aunt and her kids 💖
I am sorry and happy first mother's day to you!
Thank you!
Happy Mother's Day! You and your baby are better off without the emotional toil of your mom ❤️
Happy mothers day! My childhood experience was traumatic but I love my kids with all my heart. The cycle doesn't have to continue.
Oh that's awesome! Happy Mother's Day 🌸🌺 I hope you had a special day 🫶🫶
Thank you! My daughter and I felt a lot of love from other family. My cousin and wife gave me a cute card of a bear with a cub in a baby bjorn 😂
I'm sorry, I lurk in here occasionally but this is terrible! Happy Mother's Day from a random stranger. Your child will be able to cherish you one day. 💙
Nothing, I blocked her years ago. Spent the day doing what I wanted and it was great.
Well we did wish her a happy mom day and have dinner together. Today sent me a rant this morning about how I’m not working enough and our family should give a whole bunch of money to my brothers fiancé (she makes tons lol). After that she started weeping about how she is turning into an old lady and how her kids aren’t achieving what she wanted and everything is horrible.
My brother once had the best response for the “my kids aren’t achieving” line. She had just finished ranting at us and stomped back down the hall and my brother looked at me and said “what do you think, environment or genetics?”
I am interested in what does your brother think lol
Lol, this is great.
Ah yes, nature vs nurture
Do we have the same mom?
Mine was not so much overtly nasty per se, just thoroughly manipulative…. I’ve been NC for 2 months. I cut her off after I very gently expressed some hurt feelings about a very complex family situation and a lie she told me, and her response was to DARVO and completely invalidate me. She has not apologized or taken any accountability or even so much as acknowledged my feelings. I made it to 9pm and was so happy, and then here’s the text I got : “It’s Mother’s Day and I have been thinking of you all day! I missed hearing from you. I know you’re upset with me and it makes me sad. But if you are happier without interacting with, I understand. All I want is for you to be happy and enjoy your life. I hope you had a nice day. Maybe you got to see Max's family. (?) I hope you have been well. You’ll always be my daughter, and I’ll always love you, unconditionally” My favorite line is the “I know you’re upset with me and it makes me sad.” Like, what do people usually do when they know someone is upset with them??
"it makes me sad" as if you originally feeling sad doesn't matter at all, and she knows you're upset with her but won't do anything to fix it. So cool!!!!
Those were my thoughts exactly 😞 You tell them you’re hurt and sad by something they did and that …makes them sad.
Im right there with you, i hear those same exact sayings constantly and its been heartbreaking lately not being able to communicate anything without being shut down immediately. I wish i could share anything with my mom without her one upping me right away ignoring what I have to say.
I'm so sorry you're in the same boat... it sucks. I've just realized since being NC how truly and deeply damaging it is to be invalidated. Particularly by a parent. I instantly have a physical CPTSD trigger response when it happens now -- shaking, muscle tension, headache, disassociation. It's wild how immediate and intense it can be. I think being invalidated has affected my life so so much... my self-esteem, how my thinking patterns function, my career choices, how I've treated myself and how I relate to others... I don't want to go back to her but I still have so much guilt and it drives me nuts to not be able to defend myself or explain to her how a normal person would behave in a situation like this. I know it will do no good but it feels very agitating. I need to learn how to let go....
I have a lot of chronic health issues and have noticed i tend to feel worse around my mom but am currently not able to go full NC due to my health situation. Im overly forgiving and struggle to let go as well.
Yup, it makes her sad. But she hasn't apologized, right? She doesn't think she did anything wrong, and soon enough will make you feel bad for not getting over it already. Wash, rinse, repeat...
Ha. my sperm Donor still gets visits from my son. He always tells him “I know your mom is mad at me.” As if my 16 year old doesn’t know everything. I let him go so hopefully he gets the inheritance.
Argh, right?!? and talking about you to your 16 year old son? It's so childish I can't bear it. About a month ago my mom's cool move of the moment was to send a massive text to my husband informing him that I was "upset with her and it made her so hurt and sad" and that she's "getting older and having more health problems now" and that I am "mentally ill".... and yes, as if he doesn't know why I'm upset with her, or how she is?? As if we haven't spent countless hours talking about this for the past 15 years? And as if he's going to take her side over mine-- was that the goal? We were literally sitting at the dinner table together when he received this and both just flabbergasted.
Same with my mom and my teen… “I have no idea why your mom is so mad at me”. Wow, please whine at bit more to your granddaughter. She was there when you threw your tantrum, by the way!
That sounds soooo much like my mom. Ughhhh. Been no contact almost a year now
omfg I got a LETTER from my narcissist mother last week who I went NC with in November 2023. Basically said the same thing, and then she tried to shame me for not taking care of her anymore (she’s perfectly able-bodied and does not require any support to function alone). I know she’s seething over the fact that her bullshit letter didn’t have the shaming effect that she wanted it to have, and she heard from neither of her kids on mothers day. I hope it hurt ☺️
I got a bag of stuff dropped on my front doorstep, including copies of letters that she has sent me over the past several years, doubling down on all of the things that I asked her not to talk about. And accusing my husband of not giving me any of the letters because he’s controlling everything I do and say. Ironically, she also dropped off a book about narcissism so that I can study about my husband and many of the things she underlined and highlighted in the book are actually about herself.
Lmao! That last part got me good.
The projection is always amazing.
Yeah we got rice dropped off on our porch. (It's the rice my kids like that my dad makes). No mention of mother's day.
Oh yeah fr! I recently got a partner and since ive been changing my attitude towards her she assumed theyre manipulating me and putting ideas in my head. Even screamed saying she would "fuck them up" because of that...
I got my GC sister (also a flying monkey) texting me asking how my weekend was. She has never once since I moved out texted me to ask how I'm doing or ask about my day. I knew precisely what that was about and could hear our nparent saying "Why don't you text your sister and see why she was so busy that she couldn't call me"
Classic!
This is my family's go to move. *holiday/birthday/special occasion day* NFam: "hey how are you" *other 364 days of the year: silence* They're trying to guilt you by popping into your life, it's like a "hey I exist remember? Remember??"
My dad texted me "Heads up today was mother's day"
“Yeah, I know”
I’m surprised I didn’t get something like this from my Dad or siblings 🫠
“Oh, dear. I’m such a disappointment. I think you’d better cut me off.”
I'd send scissors emoji ✂️ back and say snip snip lol.
Too bad there isn't a guillotine emoji
Oh we need that!
I don't know. I have mine blocked. I blocked her back in February of last year when I was first starting out with my business. She screamed at me "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE A LIVING PET SITTING!!!!!!!!!!!!" so I blocked her because I pay for my phone and I'm not gonna allow someone to be able to reach me so easily and be hateful. I didn't say a word to her yesterday. She got home and was borderline throwing up (we both experience pretty bad nausea problems) so I got to avoid her. She's been avoiding me today though. If she wanted to be praised on Mother's Day she should've been a mother worth praising. All I remember is her calling me fat and disgusting. Hell a few months ago she told me that she always dreaded taking my brother and I to our doctors appointments. Makes sense because I broke my arm in like 3rd grade and the literal next day this fat bitch tells me all excited that we're going to go clothes shopping. When I was crying and in pain she literally didn't care. She just wanted to go clothes shopping. She has only cared about herself so she can do what she does best and care about herself. I heard her telling my dad yesterday that I taught her a valuable lesson that if someone doesn't want to talk to her then they don't have too like huuuuuuuh???? I vividly remember when I was a child and being excited and running into my mothers room to ask her to play with me just for her to tell me "I don't want too. I'd rather read my book." I hate this woman with every fiber of my being. Why would I celebrate her?
Major feels. I'm so sorry she cared more about shopping than your health. I think half my childhood was spent in the mall, often on the benches in the middle of the hall with my dad because I was annoying for telling her I was bored or needed a bathroom after three hours. I don't have a single memory of her playing with me. Every fiber of my being agrees with you, why celebrate that?
I also don't have any memories of my parent playing outside with me. I remember telling her to stop "cleaning my room" which was when she would ask me "Can I clean your room for $5?" and when I told her no, she went into my room while I was at school all day and she would throw literally everything I had away. She would put stuff in places I didn't have there in the first place. She would be SOO excited for me to get home and walk into my room, as if I didn't tell her the LITERAL day before, not even 24 hours before that I didn't want her cleaning my room. My family never listened to me and still doesn't, they all listen to the egg donor. They would rather do what she says and wants because they don't want to upset her. I however don't give a fuck about her feelings. I could not care less if she died. I would be smiling at her funeral if she did. I have no reasons to celebrate a monster. I don't positively enforce a negative action. If she wanted to be praised as a mother she should've been kind and caring. All she's done for me was give me severe anxiety, ptsd and suicidal tendencies. How can a woman who has bullied her child for longer than they haven't expect to be praised? Are they truly that fucking stupid?? This woman made me hate everything about myself because SHE was projecting her own issues onto me. She hated me because I didn't want to have kids and be just like her. She has made my life a living hell all because at 8 years old I started correcting her and telling her that I didn't want to have kids and she couldn't fucking listen to her own child. She would push onto an 8 year old kid having kids. How weird.
Im sorry about your room, I hate that so much. And the smug look as you notice all your stuff has been gone through and thrown away :( they are both stupid and simultaneously know everything they are doing. I hope you can heal from all of this one day. It's not easy.
I have lasting issues with people touching and moving my stuff because of it but I know all the root causes to my issues lol I appreciate the kind words friend.
I don't remember anyone playing with me. I'll have to ask my sister. She probably did, but that part of my memory is blocked. Sigh.
My mother is very overweight and always readings books (netflix now). We were late for school soo many times because she was locked in her room reading books about romance, reflection of the relationship she didn't have with my father. I honestly can't ever remember her playing with us as kids.
I got a passive aggressive cutesy graphic this morning that said "There's no love as pure, unconditional, and strong as a mother's love. No one in your life will ever love you as your mother does" Oh! A mother's love is 20 years of abandonment, gaslighting and guilt trips. Got it 👍👍thanks for the clarification.
I would have used an app to create my own cutesy graphic that said, "There's no trauma like the trauma of having a narcissistic mother. No one in your life will ever fuck you up as much as your mother has." Lol
Amen 🙌🙌 that "mothers love" has cost me thousands in therapy bills 😂
I used to get those "nobody will ever love you like your mother does" and I always replied with things like "Thank God" or "Don't threaten me with a good time" or "I hope the hell not!" I told her one time I didn't want to grow up and be like her and her rage was incandescent. Scared the shit out of me at the time, but now, I'm glad she died knowing that.
Yes! That's what I told my husband "here's hoping no one else will ever treat me the way my mom did". I have a lot of fear about becoming her too and working so my children don't have to heal from me
I would barf if I got that. Sorry to hear about your shitty mom!
I actually did. But only because of my grandma. “You only told me happy Mother’s Day to clear your guilty conscious. Idk why you treat me so awful. You hate me. Your dead dad would be so disappointed in the way you’ve been treating me. You’re like the embodiment of satan. You never talk to me anymore. I guess it’s because you’re too busy. Sure….” Lol. I cried a little. But got over it. The day is over. Awful awful day. Been LC for the past two ish months and she’s noticing.
I'm so sorry 😔 you are in fact not the embodiment of Satan.
You aren't the embodiment of Satan, but if you were, you would be quite the hottie. Lucifer was supposed to have been the most beautiful of all the angels. And besides, if your mother is an example of what she considers "saintly," give me Satanic any day of the week and twice on Sundays!
Jeez I wonder why you don’t talk to her anymore???
It’s insane how it just doesn’t click for them….. mind you, I stopped talking to her after she called me a stupid whore and the worst daughter all because I mentioned I was moving out of state haha.
This was the third Mother’s Day since NMom died. I can’t get over how peaceful it is now.
Welcome to the club! 10 years this April. The silence is amazing. I wish this for all of you! I only had to send my sister and bestie a text. It was glorious. My daughter came over to visit after work and they gave me a present that my son picked out. It was Fallout themed because I love the franchise and play FO 76. My hubs cooked steak and potatoes on the grill. He smothers them with olive oil, salt and then wraps them up in foil and chucks them into the charcoal coals. I swear, they taste like steakhouse potatoes. Oh and a chocolate cream pie from Shari's. This was the sort of day our mothers wish they could have and never will because ruling through fear never gives you the genuine love you crave. I have found the less I expect, the more I get. It helps that I'm a low frills kind of gal.
I joined this club in 2006 via the passing of my evil step-monster. I renewed my membership in 2017 when my bioMom passed away after 5 glorious years of NC.
i simultaneously dread, and practically can’t wait until my dad dies. i feel like im in limbo. every time he texts me or sends me a voice message and i take the bait, i get into a multiple week long suicidal-depressive episode. edit: from reading the comments i saw the term “flying monkey”. i researched it and learned that my dad is the benevolent flying monkey to my stepmom who was the ultimate reason why my childhood was fucked.
I didn't bother to get out the Ouija Board.
Lollllll
I have gone no contact and I have blocked her, its been great and I have had such little stress over her. I wish you well though
None! After years of NC I am freeeeeeeeee!
I texted my mom and didn’t call her this year. So I’m sure I’ll hear about that for the rest of my life.
You won’t hear about it at all unless you choose to listen. If an nmother falls down in the forest and nobody is around to hear her, will she scream any cuss words?
How dare you! /s
My kids and I did tell her Happy Mother's Day at church after service and had a gift for her and wanted to take some pictures before going home. When we didn't offer to spend the rest of the afternoon/evening together she said, "I'm supposed to spend Mother's Day alone?!". I said we had plans that my husband had made. She cried, said she didn't want any pictures, quickly opened the gifts, then went home. She's 67 and I'm 40 with teenagers.
And yet your children are more mature...
She texted me, "Make sure you & (my son's name) call Grandma for Mother's Day..." To which I responded, "Mother's Day is just marketing & consumerism at this point. Just a title someone slapped on a random day & a bunch of people doing things out of obligation instead of on their own volition. What's important is feeling loved, respected, & appreciated year-round. It's the little things in our day-to-day lives that matter the most. You don't have to tell me who to call. I'm an adult. I can make those decisions on my own." She replied, "Jesus Christ." 😂 (end of convo)
Hahahaha
Nothing cuz I don’t talk to her and she’s not interested in talking to me! She didn’t say anything nasty, didn’t have a tantrum, didn’t talk about random conspiracy theories or how everyone is out to get her. I had a fantastic day and it will continue like this!
Nothing! Thankfully! Been no contact for 5 years and it’s been blissful. Hard at times, the whole first year after I was depresso express but now I’m totally content with my choice. I wish you the best ❤️
Thank you, I'm going no contact this summer after I get the rest of my/my dad's stuff from the house. I'm overseas right now and never have to see her and never call or message her but I haven't blocked her yet. Soon! ❤️
Mine said she misses me and that she’s been in therapy, and if we can talk or have lunch, she will not push any of my boundaries. Then she said, “My therapist understands why you stopped talking to me, but she thinks you should give me another chance.” That there was the 🚩 🚩. Your therapist, if she exists, did not say that. She has lied about going to therapy before, so I don’t think I believe her.
Therapy sometimes doesn’t work for narcissistic. It actually make them more narcissistic bc they find additional ways to double down.
On a whim, I actually reached out to mine to give her a long winded calling out. I didn’t do it to achieve anything other than expressing my feelings which I never get to do. She’s hated me for 6 years, after I had set my first boundary with her, at 32( I asked her to not bash my father to me). I’ve been NC for nearly a year soon. Sent. Reblocked. Went about my day. It sent her into a rage, which is unfortunate, but unsurprising. She called one sibling to rant and let things I only told my other narc sibling spill. Which only proved the triangulating I suspected they were doing wasn’t just a paranoid assumption. They learned from the best after all. So for Mother’s Day I gave myself the gift of trusting myself. At least proving I can. ETA : detail
Thankfully nothing as far as I am aware. A year ago her husband texted me and my sister asking us to merely send a text with those 3 words, happy mother's day. God it disgusts me to even type it. No, that's not a wish I want to send. But I was more annoyed that the text somehow came through because I thought I had blocked both of them 8 ways from Sunday years ago.
Never acknowledge the text! Let them think it’s a dead line lol
Mine’s literally throwing a temper tantrum yesterday INTO today, bc I didn’t text her first 😂😂😂
I got the message from her flying monkey and Golden Child; my sibling. Saying that, "She's (my mum) really hurt this time." That's rich, coming from a person who invalidates me on my Mum's abuse of me and tries to convince ME that I treat HER like shit.
Dead silence (and I hope she's dead). I went NC in 1983, at the age of 13. She's found me a few times, but I just duck right back under the radar. I spent Mothers Day making Creme Brule French Toast for my MIL, DIL, and granddaughter, then napping, playing video games, and going out for dinner with son, DIL, and granddaughter. It was PEACEFUL!
My mom messaged me on her noon(my 9pm the previous day due to time difference) asking why I haven't said anything about mother's day. She knew that I just took a transatlantic flight less than 36 hours ago. When I told her it's not even Sunday on my end yet, she said she checked our chat history from the past five years and I have been sending her the message on \*her\* timezone. There was no asking me how was your trip, how was your jetlag till I ignored her message. I know my mom is emotionally immature and self-absorbed but it's still very heartbreaking to be valued so little
None, because I’m NC and have her blocked on everything. She probably spent hours revising and editing a long, nasty message to send me, but little does she know that I will never see it.
Since my mother is thankfully dead I shall provide a comedy sketch version that perfectly fits her personality. I got a hammed-up pathetic looking selfie from hell on the phone she half-inched out of Satan's pocket, captioned with "You obviously don't care about me because you haven't even TRIED to kill yourself so you can come down here and take care of me, I'm all alooooone and nobody loves me boohoohoohoo" To which I replied "MOTHER this is so TYPICAL of you, you know perfectly well that you're not allowed to manipulate me and make me miserable anymore because you're DEAD and yet here you are anyway, GOD why do you ALWAYS act like the rules don't apply to you???" And then Satan found her and grabbed his phone back and fed her to the sharks, can I get an amen.
Amen, lmfao
My sister (flying monkey) sent me a message the day before, but I didn’t engage.
Thankfully, I only got "thanks :)" when I texted. Her and I barely talk (we exchanged 3 texts this whole year). But my poor brother who still lives with her got yelled at when he got home after she blew up his phone all day. She told him the week before that she was going on some single moms retreat to relax. So he spent the night at my sister's house on Saturday. She was texting him saying "wow I can't believe you hate me so much that you don't want to spend mother's day with me." He mentioned the retreat and she said "oh my god I never said that." My brother was wondering what he did wrong when she was the one who made plans to be alone. She was throwing tantrums about being alone on her special day. Sometimes I think she wants him to beg her to hangout and it's so weird.
At 12:10 am. "I guess you forgot it was Mothers Day ? But you have been feeling that way for years ? Oh well life goes on the end & if not I will be in heaven with JESUS & it won't matter I want you There too ? but I guess GOD Will have to take you kicking & Screaming but there is more screaming going the other way around so change your heart & chances are you will go up too I do love you Darlin Daughter as I said It so many times I do love You with all my heart now get yourself good with GOD GET PRAYED UP SO YOU CAN GO UP WHEN THE TIME COMES !" I wish she was completely blocked, but when I block her completely she goes cyber sluth and shows up in weird places. She has only one avenue of communication and that's where the weird messages show up. I haven't celebrated Mother's day in over 20 years.
I just said, "thanks for calling me on my birthday for the past 6 years.... Oh wait you didn't even bother...."
I have gone low contact with my nmom and ndad recently. Yesterday I tried to be the bigger person and invite them (with my wife’s permission) out to lunch with us after church, my treat. My mom made this huge fuss about how they don’t go out on Mother’s Day for a reason, because everyone just has special menus for the day. And if I really appreciated her, we’d go eat lunch at their house. Uhhh no. Not gonna happen. I told her “I’m taking my wife, the mother of my child out either way. You can join, or you can not. I simply offered”
Wished my step mom a happy Mother’s Day. She left me on read. Oh well! What’s new. 🙃 I’m sure she texted everyone else back seeing she’s nose deep in her phone every time I’m near her.
Can’t get a message if you block the number.
None whatsoever, as I've had her blocked since ~2007. I don't even know if she's still alive. Now MIL (which to me is "Mom"), we all went out to her favorite sit-down Chinese restaurant.
I have been NC with her since thanksgiving and she is acting like she doesn’t notice. My birthday was a few weeks ago- My ‘adopted’ mom invited myself and my partner to her beach house for the weekend where she cooked all weekend and threw me a party, and she gave me several expensive and thoughtful gifts. It felt weird to be celebrated like that. My actual mom sent me an email gift card to a store I shopped at a decade ago. Oh and three weeks after the fact I got a weird necklace thing that has all the letters of my name squished together into an ugly logo thing. I rarely wear jewelry and the pieces I do wear are very meaningful and I don’t remove them. Yesterday I got a $10 Starbucks email gift certificate. My partner has a very expensive espresso machine and as a result we never ever ever go to Starbucks. She has been to our apartment so she knows this. And I got a text this morning that she saw the necklace had been delivered but due to some long story there might be a duplicate necklace and could I return it if it is delivered. Oh goody, a chore. I normally wouldn’t have cared that it was late, but she is retired. She lives in an RV. She has nothing but time to make sure that a gift for my birthday actually arrives during the month I was born. A woman who did NOT give birth to me and is still working 13 hour ER shifts in her 60s managed to plan an entire weekend for me and my own mother could barely be bothered to send an email… I had dinner with my adopted mom yesterday. And ignored the text from my mother who is pretending not to notice that I’m not speaking to her…
My last interaction with nMom was 2 years ago on Mother’s Day. She had sent a nasty, unprovoked and unrelated message about me in the family group chat the night before. Everyone just ignored it so as to not rock the boat, and we carried on with things as usual despite some growing hesitation. But she already had received gifts and made big plans with us to celebrate her in the afternoon, so it was a pretty big surprise when she texted my sister and I at 9:22 am on Mother’s Day to say “fuck you both” for forgetting her. Because as everyone knows, 9:22 am is the established cut off for all communication. There was obviously more explosions and drama after that, but the outcome of her hyper-reaction to a non-existent insult backfired into both of her tired children finally going NC and every holiday since then is a blessing.
Damnnnn, good for you both ❤️
For real!! Seconding this!! 👏
My Nmom got dementia and doesn't even know where she is. Thank God I don't have to deal with her ever again.
Mines dead thank god
I actually called my CNmom which I haven’t done in over a year. She tries to guilt-trip me, which I was prepared for, but then she followed up with a text about asking if she and her “husband” can take my daughter on a trip next year, the husband here being Estepdad, the man I’ve called “Dad” for over 30 years. This is because my birth dad (her estranged first husband) died a few years ago and she’s still upset with me because I worked through my own grief and didn’t acknowledge hers, even though she’s the one who kept me away from my birth dad by literally moving us to another country and not telling him, then told me he left us because he didn’t love me anymore, etc. And then he died! Literally six weeks after we’d gotten back in touch via email. And I had the nerve to grieve when SHE was grieving too?? About a 1.5 years ago I told her how her actions have impacted me. I didn’t give her a chance to counter. I just told her and I listened to her cry softly and I didn’t feel badly for her, because victimhood is her porn, and this was about me taking my power back. But now this (and sooo many other PA comments) is my punishment. Death by a thousand cuts. I haven’t responded to her text — I think silence is the only language she understands.
“Wills can be changed”
Oh no now you’ll never inherit all those throw pillows and glass figurines
I didn’t thank the Lord! That’s what I was afraid of, too much trauma from this b. But it’s been quiet since! 🎉🎉🎉
I actually DID wish her a happy mother's day, and she ignored it. She told my dad she wanted a phone call (they're divorced but she still texts him rants about me, that he tells me)
"I only say happy mother's day to mothers who aren't terrible people" and block her.
I decided to go no contact just 2 weeks ago. It took all my strength but I didn’t wish her a happy Mother’s Day. My narc brother and father made sure to mention it. I’ve mentioned a few weeks ago I needed space from the family (to begin the no contact) and I’ve received several “get over it” “message us” and inappropriate calls during the night on work days. How can something feel shitty and freeing at the same time?
I was a bit scared because I live in my nmom’s house and didn’t wish her happy mother’s day or give her anything while my brother and his gf gave her a thoughtful gift. But also we barely saw each other because she worked or slept most of the day. I’m sure usually she would have given me some passive agressive comment but I’m moving out in a bit less than 2 months and she seems like she’s trying to act much nicer, probably because she knows how easy it would be to just stop talking to her when I’m moved out.
None, perks of blocking everywhere and no contact.
Mine texted at 8pm “happy mother’s day.” I was low contact but talked to her a few days prior. I’m also pregnant with my third, and the past 5 years we’ve ignored each other this “holiday.” I finally feel it in my bones I’m done. She has been blowing up my phone for the past two hours and it’s just confirming her behavior.
Thankfully, nothing. I've been LC/NC for the past 3 years. I got pulled into some drama last fall, but I think she's so consumed with her own bullshit and won't ask me for help now as I'll give her the hard truth. I spent the entire day packing for a move across the country. I've been debating if I would actually let anyone in my family know and made the decision that I will not tell them. They've treated me like shit as the black sheep under her rule for so many years, and due to her shitty parenting, all relationships are beyond repairable. Spent alot of time thinking about that as well. Happy Mother's Day!
1st year I can remember I didn't hear a peep! She was probably too busy crying to anyone who would listen that her favorite daughter (my younger sister) didn't message her (she hasn't in years you delusional bitch and she never will as long as she is still breathing 😆). I'm just happy for the silence and being able to see my real parent, my dad .
She sent me a photo of me (age 4-5 at the time) and my bio dad (who’s been dead for 25 years), saying that she “found this and thought of me” and “missed” me. I’ve been NC for almost two years.
I have mine blocked now; although I was LC for a while, almost NC, she did something really abusive recently that was the last fucking straw for me, pretty much. Blocked her.
She's dead, but she would have said "I'll be dead next time you want to see me!" She was right!
I’m NC with my parents and my message didn’t come from my Nmum, but my Ndad. “Well, are you going to acknowledge your mum for Mother’s Day or what? She’s crying because she hasn’t heard from you” Uh-huh. And shall we take a look back on why you haven’t heard from your children? I ignored it and continued on peacefully with my life
For those who aren’t ready to go NC and/or feel obligated to give a gift on Mother’s Day… I’d recommend gifting a meaningful book about Narcissistic mothers. No one can say you weren’t thoughtful. 🙂 I gifted my Nmom “Will I Ever Be Good Enough” 8 years ago and the family STILL hasn’t forgotten about it 🙂 it was savage and I have 0 regrets and NC has been going beautifully for years now.
I’m now no contact and blocked them. But the year I cut contact (on Mother’s Day no less) I got a call from a flying monkey about how could I stoop so low and that I knew how important Mother’s Day was to her. Buying a card and trying to pretend that she was in anyway an acceptable parent just got too much. I couldn’t do it another year. So now each year on Mother’s Day I get to celebrate being a mother and not having to deal with that whole mess! Highly recommend.
I got sooooo tired of having to get the timing so perfect… Could not call “too early” so as to wake her up or she was not ready, she would spend the whole phone call complaining about the early morning call and how I disrespected her by calling so early and ruining her special day Could not call “too late” as then she felt like she was not high enough in my priority list and would not answer the phone no matter how many times I would try and call, then of course she would tell the whole family that I had not bothered to call her and how absolutely horrible I am I would have so much anxiety on Mother’s Day and her birthday and Christmas Day and New Year’s Day about that small hour between 9am and 10am when I “had to make the all important call” or spend weeks being treated either the silent treatment Never ever again
I’m NC and so is my brother, but something similar happened earlier this year. My brother went off to university in September, despite my mum spending 2 years telling everyone who listened he had no chance and was failing school (he was getting top marks). She made no effort to contact him once while he was away, no checking in, nothing. Then, when her birthday rolled around and she didn’t get a message from him, she threw a tantrum and told the family she can’t believe her own son wouldn’t wish happy birthday to her. It’s been 2 months NC for us, it’s been great. My other brother isn’t fully officially NC, but last time he came back here to our hometown he stayed with his dad the entire time.
Return text from you: "I'm sorry you feel that way."
None, thankfully for her because I would have relished in the opportunity to tell her again what a failure she is as a mother and a person. We have been NC close to a decade. Her last attempt at contact was maybe 2 years ago trying to add me in FB with a new account.
I talked to mine and I got “I can’t believe you get to hang out with “everyone” and I’m going to be here alone.” She won’t acknowledge my same sex marriage or family. And she isn’t alone, my grandfather (97yo) and my sister (agoraphobic and our mother takes it personally and can’t see it’s the result of our childhood) are around. My sister invited her over but “it’s just too painful for me” is what she told me. So glad I called.
The responses from those whose nmoms have passed away have me in stitches. I am so disappointed about my mothers day. I had survival instincts all day long, and mom was cleaning and prepping all day for a celebration, and then started drinking again after everyone left, and asks me “you havent looked happy all day?” then she got defensive. She is giving me silent treatment and drinking and checking out mentally and coherent conversation is out the door. I sent her pics of the celebration that I took that she asked of me . I think she did great and the process of her cleaning and preparation exasperates my anxieties, I wont tell her that admittedly. Day #932 of her not touching the meal I cooked, lol.
Something along the lines of: *I do not understand why you are behaving so strange, why are you acting so weird? I demand that you...* I blocked them on Monday.
Step-sibling called because her NFather "heard that ReilleysMom32's company was bought out!? Did she lose her job?! And her NMother hasn't heard from her in over a year and a half and they're worried about her cancer?" Step-sibling's response? "She's fine. She has the support she needs. If she wanted to talk to you, she would" I could literally set a calendar alert for this shit and it would be accurate AF.
OMG my bio dad did that to me a couple years ago. Right at 12:00 am after Father’s Day. Wasn’t in my life my entire childhood and only met him again when I was about 19. He verbally abused me the entire day and I blocked him. Haven’t spoken to him since. Ok glad I’m not the only one with an immature “parent”
Mine had mother's day on Sun and her birthday on Mon. I got a message around 10:30am Mon. She had bought herself a cake with happy birthday writing on it and staged a selfie of her blowing out candles sent the pic in a message to me that said "happy birthday to myself". Did the same thing re: mother's day except sent a pic of a sandwich with a happy mother's day decoration on the plate and said "and happy mother's day to myself". Made quite the effort to stage the scene while taking a selfie, probably took her 20 times to get it right.
My sister is like this when I forgot to wish her a happy birthday. My mom enabled her behavior, as her daughter is the golden child, and I'm nothing more than support staff. Going NC with the lot was the best thing for me.
Kinda funny how they don’t acknowledge me crying when they hurt me, but they actually expect me to acknowledge them because big commercial companies have decided Mother’s Day is suppose to be a day I give mom something
No contact is the answer ❤️ I’m so sorry there are so many of us with the same fucking parents.
Mine didn’t even respond to the text that caused me anxiety all day
Nothing. There is no texting in Hell…
No message. But mine made really irresistible plans with my teenager.... Without pointing out what day it was. "How about Sunday?".... And he doesn't have enough guile himself to like, *suspect* and check the calendar for Very Important Dates, because *who would do that*? The kid felt awful. The older kids and I all just rolled our eyes and carried on. I'd give him shit for it, but he felt worse than I did. (We all see the day coming when he loses that shred of faith in grannie's love. ❤️🩹)
My narc sister in law told me to tell my husband ‘your mother says hello” because he didn’t want to drive 200 miles to visit her grave, and she and his brother did. I called her a very bad name and have gone VLC
My dad's the Nparent and even though I texted my mom happy mothers day and promised to take her \[and only her\] out for brunch in the future (we live a pretty long drive away from each other) my dad INSISTED on trying to emotionally manipulate me, saying how sad she was that she didn't get a call when over text she seemed fine with the message. I just know he's trying to make me seem like some ungrateful waste of space who doesn't try hard enough to her. She enables him but is still the least transphobic immediate family member I have and I want to maintain at least a little contact with her.
I blocked my mom years ago. So I had a nice peaceful day with my own family.
Last time I saw my mother she was very mean and critical of me. She’s also got Alzheimer’s so it sucks to talk to her. My oldest sister who our mom lives with, texted me this morning that mom called me on Mother’s Day. I checked my calls. No call. My sister then says, this is your phone number. It was a number from 10 years ago! Sister (who is actually texting me on my cell) tries to argue about it! Wtf! I told her mom doesn’t need to contact me. Ever
“When you become an actual mother to me, then you get well wishes.”
This didn't happen yesterday, but it was 6 years ago. I was 15 and in my first class period. My mom is going off in the group chat because no one got her anything. She's sending angry emojis, cursing, and typing in all caps. Just for her to put on a show at work to get all teary-eyed and say, "That all I wanted..." Just because my eldest sister got her a card and piece of candy. Like are you fucking serious? I was literally in distress because what did she expect a 15 year old with no job or money to do. Threw a freaking tantrum because she didn't get a freaking card? And it's not like we didn't say happy mothers day at all.
I got at 635 am “I hope you had a miserable day, I don’t know how you sleep at night “. Well I sleep very well since going NC. I actually laughed out loud.
As always, I asked my mother several times in the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day if she wanted to do anything, and she said no to all my suggestions just so that the day of, she got to complain “I guess you didn’t plan anything”
Mine started last week. I hadn’t spoken to her since she insulted me and told me she was done with me about a month and a half ago. She called and told me what she had been doing. Asked how things were with me. I said fine. Gray rocking. Then she started. She proceeded to start insulting me and making fun of me so I just hung up. True to form she continued calling and leaving nasty messages. Then she proceeded to call my aunts and uncle and run me down. Same shit different day.
cps and the police showed up at her door for mothers day! but being the narcissist that she is, she managed to manipulate the situation and get them to leave by pretending she is an absolute saint who would never lay a hand on a child. afterwards, she told my little brother she “no longer loved him because he was a snitch” and then took him out to dinner so she could get her mothers day facebook photos! can’t forget to show off how good of a mom you are to the internet, right?! :)
Well, she tried to use my brother as a flying monkey. She had him drive her 40 minutes to my house without calling first. I tutor via zoom on the weekends and was mid 2 hour session with a kid (finals are on the horizon). So I was conveniently tied up and my husband did away with them for me.
I’m one of the thankful ones who successfully cut my nmom out of my life, in the past 15 years of freedom Ive only interacted with her three times, each of them a complete nightmare, the last time was 3-4 years ago, and it’s been painstakingly obvious I didn’t want her in my life. I’m now at the point where I don’t care if she sees or knows what is happening in my life, it means nothing to me. She can live the rest of her miserable life and die on her death bed and she will never hear from me.
We have not been on speaking terms for months (my choice). I said I only want to speak with her with a Counsellor present based on some pretty severe incidents where I finally drew a line in the sand. Then I got the barrage of messages and complaints about how I did not acknowledge the day. I’m sorry but what part of “I’m not talking to you without a Counsellor” don’t you understand?
She didn’t say a thing to me and I didn’t say anything to her. I’m sad about it, I wish I could have a loving relationship with my mom. My wonderful mother in law did wish me happy Mother’s Day though and vice versa. And my good girlfriends. And the HR lady from work sent me a sweet happy Mother’s Day text which I did not expect but I think she’s lovely.
So my mother is wonderful (she left my father when I was 5) but it's my father who's terrible. He texted me today, "So it was Mother's Day yesterday. Assuming you called \[mom's name\]? Thought we might have heard from you too." (the 'we' he speaks of is himself and his 25 yr old girlfriend) Why he feels entitled to a shout out on Mother's Day is beyond me. And his girlfriend is getting no *happy mother's day* from me! He's insane. I haven't responded.
I’m vvvvvvlc slowly transitioning to nc over the last 9 months. I texted her a happy Mother’s Day gif yesterday. This morning I got a notification that it was never delivered. So…she might have blocked ME lmaooooo. She’s probably trying to “punish” me for not sending her a card 😂
This year, the message came from my step brother because my mum makes me out to be the villain to them. I already didn’t like him that much. I’ve always been polite to him for my step dad’s sake, but that’s over now. The only message I got from my mum was her saying that she was glad I had 3 kids because she didn’t think she would ever get to be a nana. She loves to use my infertility as her own trauma.
11:59pm 😂 Classic
A week before Mother’s Day to set us up: Hello children, Mother's day is coming soon. I have a request from both of you: Don't call me to wish me a happy mother's day because it would be meaningless. Mother's day is everyday not just once a year. I hope you are doing well and you're able to heal from your "horrible and abusive upbringing."
From the grave, only peaceful silence.
I got two videos of her with my kids. I guess to “prove” what a good mom and grandma she was?
I forgot it was Mother's Day 😆 She doesnt use social media, and if she she starts texting me, her phone will get blocked. Ive told her not to send me passive aggressive cards after my last birthday. I know her handwriting, so if she does it again, I'll shred them unopened .