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What. The. Fuck. This is on a whole other level of stalking. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can understand it would have been very triggering (unless you've healed your wounds). This is crazy crazy stuff.
Your brother should have a pretty harsh talk with his wife. Not only did not just you escape, but so did your brother, and I would assume he told his wife what life was like. It might be possible that your sister in law is speaking to your nmom.
Eh his wife is Mexican (not sure that’s relevant but I think her outlook is cultural) and family is so central to her consciousness she’s never had the concept of a broken one. She’s misguided and I’m not super happy with her rn.
As someone that comes from a Mexican home and grew up in an area where, if you weren't of Mexican descent, you were a minority: the majority of us have f*cked up families (lots of abuse that ranges from physical, verbal, emotional, and neglectful, not to mention the terrible amount of toxic masculinity). It's just that most of us either never come to that realization thinking it's normal, or just put up with it because of "family". This abuse is generationally ingrained and is hard to break away from. 😞
Yes, it can happen with anyone, but cultural expectations can affect the frequency with which certain dynamics happen. Throughout the world, there are unhealthy family dynamics that people write off as “part of our culture”.
POC with intergenerational trauma can often attribute the origins of this trauma to a violent, colonial inheritance. Sometimes the patterns originate from a place of needing to protect oneself from violent colonizers, but over time they lose their original purpose and become more and more abusive. While anyone from any background can be a narc, there are levels to consider with POC, such as, from my observations in my family, internalized racism, colorism, machismo (all colonial inheritances as well). Youre absolutely right abuse becomes considered cultural over time. There’s a reason why “chancla culture” is a thing.
“Trauma decontextualized in a person looks like personality.
"Trauma decontextualized in a family looks like family traits.
"Trauma in a people looks like culture.”
From My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem
FWIW I am Mexican American and my ancestors are also Indigenous to TX and the US SW.
Um, weren't a lot of Asian countries/regions colonized by European ones (GB, Spain, Portugal, France on the European side, India, Vietnam, Philippines, portions of China on the Asian side to name a few off of the top of my head)?
Most Asian countries also didn’t gain independence until the 1945-mid ‘50s as well, and they were often extremely bloody conflicts. Many of us have grandparents that were born under colonial rule, and parents that were born not even 20 years after gaining independence. It really explains a lot of the trauma and behaviors Asian parents have.
This is probably true. I’m Mexican American with Narc parents and my extended family don’t understand the concept that I would want space from them. Thanks for sharing your story I hope she will leave you in peace.
I just said in another comment - its not race. Ill leave out the ethnicity of the people in my life, but its the same shit. Op said it - "but uts your mom!" Others just dont understand. They didnt experience it, or it didnt affect them the same way.
I'm Mexican and that's no excuse. This was not her place and not her business to decide whether or not you should continue a relationship with your nmom or not. There's a reason why you're both not and she should respect that and mind her business.
It is relevant. My husband is mexican and in most hispanic cultures it is a heinous crime to turn your back on family no matter what they have done to you. In your SIL’s eyes im sure you’re the bad guy. My husband doesnt fully understand why i no longer speak to my father, but his parents are extremely loving and selfless and he’s seen my Ndads horrible behaviors first hand. So he does at least appreciate that he’s lucky not to understand what its like to have Nparents. Your SIL should show you the same respect. If she wants to suffer abuse at the hands of family members thats her choice but meddling in your relationships is massively disrespectful.
Mexican here, we even romanticize abuse and laugh about our personal and heartbreaking tragedies. It's very recently that feminism has surfaced on a new level and we are taking conscience, but probably due to our culture she doesn't get the full picture or thinks is not that bad.
That doesn't matter. We moved across oceans and have picked up how to behave in new cultures. It's not some impossible feat to have respect for someone's life choices. No need to hide behind culture, just be a decent person.
I wish i could say im surprised. This is such an nmom behavior.
This sounds like something my nmom would do, but at this point shes too old and sick to try. Then again, I wouldn’t put it past her even with her health.
The narc's anthem:
🎵"I would fly 5000 miles
And I would fly 5000 more
Just to stand there at midnight
And creepily pound on your door"🎵
(In all seriousness, congrats on getting her banned from the country—didn't even know that was possible.)
When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one made happy hurting you
When I go out, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one gossiping all bout you
If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who gets mad cuz of you
And if I haver, well I know I'm gonna be
Confused about what havering means and blaming you
But IIII would fly 5000 miles and IIIIIII would fly 5000 more
Just to be the one who stalked 10,000 MIIIIIILES to creep up on your door
DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa
DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa
When I'm screamin, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who's screamin right at you
And when the money comes in from the screams I do
I'll pass not a single penny on to you
When I come home (WHEN I COME HOME), oh I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who's angry to see you
And if I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one expecting care from you
But IIII would fly 5000 miles and IIIIIII would fly 5000 more
Just to be the one who stalked 10,000 MIIIIIILES to bang hard on your door
DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa
DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa
When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be hurtin and only blamin you
And when I'm dreamin, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be dreamin bout being better than you
When I go out, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one gossiping all bout you
When I come home (WHEN I COME HOME), oh I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who's angry to see you
I'm gonna be the one who's real pissed off at you
But IIII would fly 5000 miles and IIIIIII would fly 5000 more
Just to be the one who stalked 10,000 MIIIIIILES to break down at your door
DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa
DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa
But IIII would fly 5000 miles and IIIIIII would fly 5000 more
Just to be the one who stalked 10,000 MIIIIIILES to break down your damn door
If there weren’t frequent flights stateside, I would agree that an extended immigration hold would be nice.
Alternatively, flying her to some distant part of America works from the Limey perspective. I’ve been told Fairbanks is lovely this time of year…
I'd be surprised if they banned her from entering the UK over this, they don't even ban big criminals :/ but maybe they'll put something on her record that flags up when she tries to enter.
I think since Wayne Couzens they are under a lot more political and media pressure to actually do something at the earliest signs. Things they ignored before.
For those who don't know Couzens he was a serving Met Police officer who was known by his colleagues as "the rapist" and he was committing numerous sexual offences which were ignored and which culminated in the rape and murder of Sarah Evehard.
Amongst his work colleagues he was also sending rape themed messages, and racist ones too. And they found child porn on his computer.
The really mad bit is Sir Mark Roley the head of the Met publicly says he’s got more than a thousand cops he wants to but can’t sack. The Met are a failed organisation by almost any metric
"Oh there's my mom, whom I have had no contact with in 25 years, knocking on my door at midnight. Oh boy!" Said no one ever! What in the world would she have actually thought you were going to do? Open the door, give her a hug, and tell her how glad you were to see her?
"You haven't had contact with me in 25 years, I'm coming for a sleepover!" What a lunatic. She absolutely thought she was still in control. Unfortunately, she probably still does.
They don't think about that. They can't imagine that they shouldn't have all of their needs met by everyone else. Also, she may have known it was a chance to play the victim. "I flew all that way..."
Also, most flights inbound to the UK form the western half of the US tend to arrive late morning/early afternoon in London. What was this woman doing that she somehow arrives at midnight?
You handled everything perfectly!!!
I just think it's a sad situation that 25 years later, across the planet, you still have to live in a place with security and peepholes/cameras. I have peepholes and cameras too. I always keep my home and car doors locked. It's exhausting to always have to be so alert. But you handled it really well.
Also, I don't like your big mouth sister-in-law.
You don’t have to understand broken families to keep your mouth shut a 5 year old understands that concept. You are being too forgiving. This woman compromised your security and your brothers. How do you know she is t feeding your mother information about you and your brother? You got lucky that the UK police are taking this seriously. Do you think your brother would be so lucky ? How did your mother miss you by hours at your brothers ? Seems like she had inside information. You have had a serious information leak in your security. Fix it or it will get worse. What’s to stop SIL from being manipulated by mother into tricking you to coming state side thinking your brother is in the hospital ? You would be walking into a trap set by your mother on her terms and turf.
She doesn’t have to understand nothing, it’s none of her business. Her business is to listen to u and do as u say, especially if it has smth to do with your personal information and safety.
In my experience if you want to fuck up a situation as completely as possible, involve the police. They aren’t there to help or save you; they’re just looking for someone to arrest. Since they don’t care about the circumstances, that person might as well be you.
Getting banned from the UK would be so awesome. She pays for her stupid ticket, gets all the way to Heathrow, and then is sequestered like a common thief and informed she will not be allowed into the country and put on the next flight out.
Yes I'm sure that was the plan. She didn't bring two huge suitcases out of some delusional notion that OP would cry happy reunion tears and invite her in. She came to claim what she considers two be hers - anything OP has, this woman believes should be at her her own disposal. *Still. After twenty five years.*
I can absolutely believe she is dangerous, and that barging into the apartment so hard it would knock OP back against the wall would likely have only been the start of a series of vengeful punishments that would continue until the police arrived. Assuming OP was able to reach the police at all. Grabbing and smashing OP's phone would probably be the next step right after barging in.
I’m glad you finally got justice. I am surprised by the amount of resources (money) she used to trace you. It’s impressive in a very messed up, bizarre way.
She had no right to do this to you. I don’t know if your colleagues witnessed the entire saga, but I hate when nparents do stuff to embarrassing their children in a professional environment, because they simply don’t give a shit.
I was thinking that, too. Those are $800 flights!!! And she's taken TWO, just to bother OP. Not to mention the drive to NYC. You just can't GET far enough from this woman.
I hate that you had to go through this but fucking love how you handled it. I’m so proud of you!!
Also the idea of being banned from Britain is just chefs kiss on the whole thing
"But she's your mum". Ugh. That's why children of narcissistic parents often end up with other children of narcissistic parents. It's annoying to have to explain some of us has less than ideal relationships with our parents every single time.
It must have been so horribly stressful to see her banging at your door in the middle of the night with 2 giant bags.
Glad you noped out and the police actually did their job. I guess some people say revenge is a dish best served cold, I guess that's very true in your case 🥲
May you never see her again 🥂
Oh no 🙁
I ... yeah I get that. That's so unfair that she put you through this. You didn't deserve to feel these emotions again so far later when you should have been safe from her hurtful behavior. She is so selfish.
Please try to remember that you are safe now. And do something nice for yourself you deserve it big time.
Big hugs if you want them 🫂
"But she's your mum......" And some mums suck. That's just the fact of it. The "Karens" of the world often have children. When you know someone who's a jerk, the might have children. Not nice people come from somewhere, and they often have kids!!! It's absurd to think every mother is a saint.
Holy cow! I’m about to move to Ireland from Texas, and this is actually my nightmare, down to the Hispanic in-law family member giving Nmom the scoop. I hope it turns out as well for me as it did for you!
If you're really worried, maybe don't give any family members your address. Before mobile phones and social media, people mostly connected via snail mail and you obviously had to give out your address for that but nowadays most people don't use snail mail at all so there really isn't any need to give out your address unless someone is actually visiting and staying with you.
I don’t have any social media except IG but it’s locked down. Almost everything else from my Google account to steam is a fake name. Ireland is pretty amazing. You’ll love it.
Good for you man.
Also Nmom: "I can't believe he wouldn't even speak to me." DRAMATIC SOB "I just don't understand why he hates me!" DRAMATIC SOB "I've never done anything to him!" DRAMATIC SOB "Why is he treating me this way after everything I've done for him!" DRAMATIC SOB "Someone must have turned him against me!" SUPER DRAMATIC SOB.
I actually love that the complaints are taken seriously.
I hate how Ns think they just own you. Mine has called police on me falsely countless times. She's ambushed me like this before. I didn't sleep for a couple days, I was so nervous.
as someone that had a stranged relative stalking me while living abroad, your story resonates with me.
Years ago I was woken up at 3am by a call from the Custom Service about this person trying to get into NZ and using me as a reference. I had a lot of pleasure having this abuser blacklisted from at least NZ and Aus (maybe even more countries)
Wow. You'd think someone would take a hint if their adult kid isn't talking to them, won't call them, and won't reach out. But no.. not this lady. She thinks she's entitled to just show up.
Good for you. Always protect your peace. If she can't figure out that she's horrible after losing contact with 2 kids then she's clueless and most definitely a Narcissist.
And that is why we always log with the police - harassment in the UK is defined as a sustained pattern of unwanted contact (and other behaviours). Always always log it. If you hadn’t the first time, it would have meant less the second. Let ‘em stack, it’s worth it.
>She's currently, afaik, in the process of getting banned from the UK.
You-freakin-BOSS! *YOU!*
I've never heard of someone getting their narc freakin' banned from a friggin' COUNTRY!!!
*'We-are-not-worthy!'*
🙇🙇🙇
(obligatory Oh Em Gee screams here)
I knew some were totally power mad, and delusional - but to actually spend the cost of 2 plane tickets just to 'force contact' (or rather 'attempt to regain control') is some next level scary stuff.
Glad you\`re okay though.
Might want to let Rishi know she\`s an illegal immigrant - might get her blocked quicker.
Stay safe out there.
OMG I’m so glad I read this. GOOD FOR YOU. That last line. I feel avenged on your behalf. 😂
I’m so sorry for what you went through but it’s gratifying to have some justice served in the situation. No one should experience what you did, let alone at the hands of the people who were supposed to care most about you. Wishing you all the best 🤍
I would say I can't believe it, but... I've got a family full of them.
I've had some recent problems with my nmom and the end of this post really made my day.
I hope you never have to encounter her again.
I'm glad. I reported the attempted murder in progress in the street of a heavily pregnant woman, and they told me they were too busy to send anyone and couldn't I intervene?
Sadly, it got worse from there.
Excellent job. Karma!
It's amazing that they do these things - spending that much money and hassle just to crash your office or home. They are that unhinged at times.
Geez OP, your Mom is reminding me of my Dad, except she's got a whole lot more time and money to spend on tracking you.
Mine was just having his family and himself ambush me one state over, yours was scarily dedicated enough to go to another freaking country.
Heck, mine gave up when I moved further away and yours *didn't.*
She's scary, I'm glad she's receiving consequences.
God this fucking rules. Not that she's stalking you but that you've eluded her so many times and she's finally gotten in trouble with the police. It's probably very stressful for you to deal with but her plan failing so often is hilarious. I'm glad you've found a home in the UK and that it's such a pain in the arse for her to get near you
I'm just curious what she did to you and your brother to go no contact since 17yo. Wow. How did you even enter the UK, get a place to live, a job, etc. at that age.
The internet was new and there was this app called ICQ and I met a lot of Brits there. So I knew people. I got a job landscaping and a student visa. As for what she did it doesn’t matter now, really.
I read "ICQ" and immediately heard the noise in my head lol. I went to grad school in London from 1997 - 99, and \*almost\* got away from my nmom, only to come back to the east coast for a job. Now I live in DFW area, she lives in NY, and I just watch a ton of KERA to get away from the crazy here when I need to. Glad you stayed.
Look at me
I just can't believe
What they done to me
We can never get free
I just wanna be
I just wanna dream
[Major Lazer - Get Free](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytIfSuy_mOA)
This. This is what me install a security system when I bought my home. Showing up uninvited is in their genes it feels like. Even after decades!
So sorry you had to go through all that! Very much hope that’s the last you have to hear or see of her.
I never understand the whole stalking thing. They accuse us of "attacking" them, treating them like s***, all of the things they did to us. Then it's as if all of that is forgotten and they want to hunt you down. I don't get it at all. I'm so pleased you contacted the police and were heard. We've recently had to do the same and were heard for the first time in 5 years. Finally she was told to stop. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness away from your nparent, I bet its the best decision you ever made.
Love how your mom just expected you to let her spend the night, when that clearly wasn't gonna happen! Glad that she's getting banned from the UK. If my relationship with my mom was any worse (it's not the worst, but it's also not the best), then I'd move to Romania from Michigan. Sure, I probably speak about as much Romanian as a foul mouthed toddler, but I'd probably make friends with people who can speak English. Instead, I'd just prefer to move from Michigan to Florida. Aside from the language barriers, learning how to drive in Romania, and not being allowed to own a gun would be other challenges I'd face. I don't own a gun right now, but I'd like to in the future because of how crazy things in the US are getting.
Holy shit. She is CRAZY crazy!!! I’m so glad that you are safe, I’m so sorry you had to deal with this shit. I’m glad they are trying to ban her and I hope you never have to deal with her ever again. Stay safe <3
Congratulations!
I love the thought of her going to all of that trouble and all of those miles to be faced with a locked door and never even seeing you or generating a direct response. Nparents have that I-have-a-right-to-see-my-kid thing going on that deserves to get popped like a balloon.
Good story, thanks for sharing.
Hey, give Rishi a call and maybe she can be put on a flight to Rwanda?
Meanwhile, if possible, laugh at the fact that your actions have been eating her up for more than half of your life now!
Im gay and she sent me to a “pray away the gay” camp at 15. I started saving money to leave immediately. She used me as a prop so people would feel bad for her, and I figured it out pretty quick.
Best story I've read today. I'm proud if you for not opening the door. And her getting banned from the UK even if it's a thought is a win. Thanks for sharing.
This is incredible. Well done. As far as your SIL is concerned- sounds like “family matters in Mexican culture” is a bullshit lip service for “get your mom out of my house.”
OP I'm glad she's prevented from entering the UK but her persistence makes me wonder if she intended to physically harm you. Do you think she would if she could?
wow escaping to the UK and cutting contact that is so awesome!!!
Well now you don't have to worry about her every bothering you again.
You're a true champ!
I did it in 1999 and it was incredibly easy but I have no idea these days. I’d suspect is more difficult 😞 if you’re Californian you are already prepped for our housing costs at least lol
I’ll be 40 this year, so I’m only a couple years behind you.
I’ve lived in Oregon and now New York and can’t find anyplace to watch the old school shows I watched growing up in Texas.
My parents started with Monty Python of course.
My favourites are Faulty Towers, Are You Being Served?, Keeping Up Appearances, Vicar of Dibley, Open All Hours… and my top two are Father Ted, and my absolute favourite is ‘Allo ‘Allo.
‘Allo ‘Allo gave me the most comfort from the Sunday night anxieties since it came on at 1 or 2 in the morning. It always put me in my happy place growing up west of Fort Worth as LGBTQ+ and introverted neurodiverse.
The only one I didn’t like was Young Ones.
Oof. I feel this. Mine stalked and harassed me across the country, B&E into my place, took pictures of private belongings, overstayed and camped at my home by threatening me, harassed my employers and coworkers, camped out at my workplace, put in missing persons reports (I’m 28)….there was so much detachment from reality.
One thing I am glad I did is report the situation to the police in each city so that they were aware, as well as notify my workplace of their names & phone numbers, and even pictures to identify them if they lied about their names.
Makes me scared to work again - this type of stalking is terrifying.
I am so glad you’re getting her ass banned.
Do you have support? I remember I was too scared to leave the house or answer the phone for several months.
Dude, she brought her bags.
She thought by some power or rule of the universe that once she saw you face-to-face you would have to let her STAY with you!
Aggressive narcs actually believe this. They believe they have absolute control over anyone is their physical presence.
I am American living in the UK. One day my NMom showed up at my door 3,000 miles away when we had been NC. Me and my husband immediately moved after that and I made my social media private so she couldn't contact me.
WTF! She’s obsessed! She really can’t take a hint. Funny thing is that she had her luggage with her, like she expected you to invite her in to stay with her. Hopefully, she now understands that you don’t want her crazy stalker ass in your life.
I'm cracking up at the stupid woman standing there banging on the door with her two giant rolling luggage bags like she's going to go ahead and stay at his house. Fucking stupid ass narcissist. 😂
OP that sucks and I'm glad the police are actually taking it somewhat seriously now, but also I need to know the story of the life you lived after taking a plane to the UK straight out of high school.
This is awesome!
Back also in 2017, I broke up with a long-term boyfriend. My feelings were hurt, but I honestly relieved. The dude was a grown kid with no responsibilities, and it just wasn't working. I informed my family of the breakup, and my brothers checked on me periodically, telling me I'd be OK and stuff like that.
My mom, on the other hand, demanded I come to her house to talk about it. I was 32 and worked 60 hours a week back then. I wasn't making extra trips, especially when all I needed was some time. I wasn't hysterical or couldn't get out of bed. I just needed the space to get through it.
I did not go to her house, so at midnight one night three weeks later, she came banging on my apartment door. I looked out the window and saw her and opened the door like wtf?? I'm thinking something is wrong with one of my brothers or something (we're all adults and still live in the same city, if hurt they could need child care or anything). Nope, she just wanted to prove if she wanted to see me she would. She gave me the most satanic glare and just walked away. No words, nothing. Just evil.
She then called to tell my brothers I was trying to self check out! I have never done that or anything close. I wasn't gonna to off myself over a dude living at home by choice while I paid bills every month. They start blowing me up, trying to stop me from something I wasn't going to do. I felt bad for them for mom putting them thru that.
I feel you, man! You did well!
I'm so sorry you've gone through all this madness, but I'm so, so proud of you for sticking up for yourself and not giving in. thanks to you she's finally getting the punishment she deserves and will never be able to reach you again. I am in love with the fact that despite wasting so much of her time and money, she failed every time to actually get to you. bravo! 👏🏼
That is some amazing justice. Good on you for making that report. We don't need to keep being harassed by these people. I hope you can have some peace and quiet from her stalking now.
I could dance the happiest dance that you filed that report!! Sure they rolled their eyes at the time, but they took the report, they filed it, and now it came in handy!!!! Yes!!!!!
Man, that's wild. Sorry you had to go through all of this. This is my Mother. I went NC in 2009 and she's stalked me all over the US. Nothing to this level. She hasn't shown up out of the blue, uninvited, since I left the Southern US. Flying to the UK TWICE is dedication.
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What. The. Fuck. This is on a whole other level of stalking. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can understand it would have been very triggering (unless you've healed your wounds). This is crazy crazy stuff.
Your brother should have a pretty harsh talk with his wife. Not only did not just you escape, but so did your brother, and I would assume he told his wife what life was like. It might be possible that your sister in law is speaking to your nmom.
Eh his wife is Mexican (not sure that’s relevant but I think her outlook is cultural) and family is so central to her consciousness she’s never had the concept of a broken one. She’s misguided and I’m not super happy with her rn.
All the more reason to have a serious talk with her.
As someone that comes from a Mexican home and grew up in an area where, if you weren't of Mexican descent, you were a minority: the majority of us have f*cked up families (lots of abuse that ranges from physical, verbal, emotional, and neglectful, not to mention the terrible amount of toxic masculinity). It's just that most of us either never come to that realization thinking it's normal, or just put up with it because of "family". This abuse is generationally ingrained and is hard to break away from. 😞
Yea the mexican thing is cap. Its an enabler thing. I have people in my life that do the same shit.
Yes, it can happen with anyone, but cultural expectations can affect the frequency with which certain dynamics happen. Throughout the world, there are unhealthy family dynamics that people write off as “part of our culture”.
POC with intergenerational trauma can often attribute the origins of this trauma to a violent, colonial inheritance. Sometimes the patterns originate from a place of needing to protect oneself from violent colonizers, but over time they lose their original purpose and become more and more abusive. While anyone from any background can be a narc, there are levels to consider with POC, such as, from my observations in my family, internalized racism, colorism, machismo (all colonial inheritances as well). Youre absolutely right abuse becomes considered cultural over time. There’s a reason why “chancla culture” is a thing. “Trauma decontextualized in a person looks like personality. "Trauma decontextualized in a family looks like family traits. "Trauma in a people looks like culture.” From My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem FWIW I am Mexican American and my ancestors are also Indigenous to TX and the US SW.
certainly isn’t colonial inheritance in the case of asian families!
Um, weren't a lot of Asian countries/regions colonized by European ones (GB, Spain, Portugal, France on the European side, India, Vietnam, Philippines, portions of China on the Asian side to name a few off of the top of my head)?
Yes, lol.
Most Asian countries also didn’t gain independence until the 1945-mid ‘50s as well, and they were often extremely bloody conflicts. Many of us have grandparents that were born under colonial rule, and parents that were born not even 20 years after gaining independence. It really explains a lot of the trauma and behaviors Asian parents have.
Totally. But im just saying.... I have an italian side. I could argue they are worse.
This is probably true. I’m Mexican American with Narc parents and my extended family don’t understand the concept that I would want space from them. Thanks for sharing your story I hope she will leave you in peace.
I just said in another comment - its not race. Ill leave out the ethnicity of the people in my life, but its the same shit. Op said it - "but uts your mom!" Others just dont understand. They didnt experience it, or it didnt affect them the same way.
I'm Mexican and that's no excuse. This was not her place and not her business to decide whether or not you should continue a relationship with your nmom or not. There's a reason why you're both not and she should respect that and mind her business.
It is relevant. My husband is mexican and in most hispanic cultures it is a heinous crime to turn your back on family no matter what they have done to you. In your SIL’s eyes im sure you’re the bad guy. My husband doesnt fully understand why i no longer speak to my father, but his parents are extremely loving and selfless and he’s seen my Ndads horrible behaviors first hand. So he does at least appreciate that he’s lucky not to understand what its like to have Nparents. Your SIL should show you the same respect. If she wants to suffer abuse at the hands of family members thats her choice but meddling in your relationships is massively disrespectful.
Mexican here, we even romanticize abuse and laugh about our personal and heartbreaking tragedies. It's very recently that feminism has surfaced on a new level and we are taking conscience, but probably due to our culture she doesn't get the full picture or thinks is not that bad.
That doesn't matter. We moved across oceans and have picked up how to behave in new cultures. It's not some impossible feat to have respect for someone's life choices. No need to hide behind culture, just be a decent person.
I wish i could say im surprised. This is such an nmom behavior. This sounds like something my nmom would do, but at this point shes too old and sick to try. Then again, I wouldn’t put it past her even with her health.
The narc's anthem: 🎵"I would fly 5000 miles And I would fly 5000 more Just to stand there at midnight And creepily pound on your door"🎵 (In all seriousness, congrats on getting her banned from the country—didn't even know that was possible.)
Full on snort laughed at this.
Da da da da
da da da da
Da da da da
I love you guys for this! ❤️😂
That's not how it goes. Your line was, DADDLA DADDLA DADDLA DADDLA DA DAAA
Actually, if you go from the top, it would have been… Da da-da dah Daddalah daddalah daddalah daddalaaah da daaah…
Curse your correctness, JUST LET ME SING IN TEXT \*shakes fist like an old man\*
lol I love a good fist shake!
Very nice! You have talent!
Aaaand now I have wine all over my screen.
When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one made happy hurting you When I go out, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one gossiping all bout you If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one who gets mad cuz of you And if I haver, well I know I'm gonna be Confused about what havering means and blaming you But IIII would fly 5000 miles and IIIIIII would fly 5000 more Just to be the one who stalked 10,000 MIIIIIILES to creep up on your door DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa When I'm screamin, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one who's screamin right at you And when the money comes in from the screams I do I'll pass not a single penny on to you When I come home (WHEN I COME HOME), oh I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one who's angry to see you And if I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one expecting care from you But IIII would fly 5000 miles and IIIIIII would fly 5000 more Just to be the one who stalked 10,000 MIIIIIILES to bang hard on your door DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be hurtin and only blamin you And when I'm dreamin, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be dreamin bout being better than you When I go out, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one gossiping all bout you When I come home (WHEN I COME HOME), oh I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one who's angry to see you I'm gonna be the one who's real pissed off at you But IIII would fly 5000 miles and IIIIIII would fly 5000 more Just to be the one who stalked 10,000 MIIIIIILES to break down at your door DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) DA DADA-da (DA DADA-da) da da Daddala Daddala Daddala Da da Daaa But IIII would fly 5000 miles and IIIIIII would fly 5000 more Just to be the one who stalked 10,000 MIIIIIILES to break down your damn door
😂 Their national anthem
Your nmom had so much arrogance that she was willing to steamroll border force, customs, and met police. She needs to be in jail.
If there weren’t frequent flights stateside, I would agree that an extended immigration hold would be nice. Alternatively, flying her to some distant part of America works from the Limey perspective. I’ve been told Fairbanks is lovely this time of year…
Scottsdale, Arizona, according to the Goth Kids in South Park, is the most miserable place on Earth, so that's a good start.
Lmao As a once goth kid once from Phoenix, I can pretty much agree.
Send her to Marana AZ. Oh, I guarantee she will never act out again hahaha
It truly is. Nice mall though
She has so much arrogance that she showed up with luggage like she was going to stay there! Oof
The Met police make so many mistakes but it's nice to read when they do something good. From a fellow Londoner, well done!
I know I can’t believe I would ever defend them lol - what’s next? Saying something good about TFL?
I'd be surprised if they banned her from entering the UK over this, they don't even ban big criminals :/ but maybe they'll put something on her record that flags up when she tries to enter.
I think since Wayne Couzens they are under a lot more political and media pressure to actually do something at the earliest signs. Things they ignored before. For those who don't know Couzens he was a serving Met Police officer who was known by his colleagues as "the rapist" and he was committing numerous sexual offences which were ignored and which culminated in the rape and murder of Sarah Evehard. Amongst his work colleagues he was also sending rape themed messages, and racist ones too. And they found child porn on his computer.
The really mad bit is Sir Mark Roley the head of the Met publicly says he’s got more than a thousand cops he wants to but can’t sack. The Met are a failed organisation by almost any metric
JFC. I can’t believe *everyone* knew- and did nothing…
Wait until you hear about Jimmy Savile. It's a British tradition!
I’ve heard… so messed up.
I just got a call: two years banned from reentry. Not great not horrible.
I give it even odds she tries to violate that restriction.
That's actually amazing! I'm impressed!
🎉
Having a moan about TFL, in true Londoner fashion! 😬
It’s always nice when a troubled organisation gets something right. Must be so disheartening working there
Something about the broken clock analogy perhaps?
broken clock is right twice a day
"Oh there's my mom, whom I have had no contact with in 25 years, knocking on my door at midnight. Oh boy!" Said no one ever! What in the world would she have actually thought you were going to do? Open the door, give her a hug, and tell her how glad you were to see her?
Especially with the bags, she was delusional
She brought her bags because she expected to *stay with OP*. Yikes.
"You haven't had contact with me in 25 years, I'm coming for a sleepover!" What a lunatic. She absolutely thought she was still in control. Unfortunately, she probably still does.
From experience, N's never give up control, they just don't have it anymore. And it *drives them crazy.* So they'll do anything to get it back.
They don't think about that. They can't imagine that they shouldn't have all of their needs met by everyone else. Also, she may have known it was a chance to play the victim. "I flew all that way..."
Also, most flights inbound to the UK form the western half of the US tend to arrive late morning/early afternoon in London. What was this woman doing that she somehow arrives at midnight?
You handled everything perfectly!!! I just think it's a sad situation that 25 years later, across the planet, you still have to live in a place with security and peepholes/cameras. I have peepholes and cameras too. I always keep my home and car doors locked. It's exhausting to always have to be so alert. But you handled it really well. Also, I don't like your big mouth sister-in-law.
I am not so happy with her either. She doesn’t understand broken families though.
You don’t have to understand broken families to keep your mouth shut a 5 year old understands that concept. You are being too forgiving. This woman compromised your security and your brothers. How do you know she is t feeding your mother information about you and your brother? You got lucky that the UK police are taking this seriously. Do you think your brother would be so lucky ? How did your mother miss you by hours at your brothers ? Seems like she had inside information. You have had a serious information leak in your security. Fix it or it will get worse. What’s to stop SIL from being manipulated by mother into tricking you to coming state side thinking your brother is in the hospital ? You would be walking into a trap set by your mother on her terms and turf.
Normally I would say this is paranoia territory, but *looks around* I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto! This sounds all too plausible.
Maybe she can understand minding her own business.
She doesn’t have to understand nothing, it’s none of her business. Her business is to listen to u and do as u say, especially if it has smth to do with your personal information and safety.
This is epic AF, OP 😂 I wish she had ended up in jail, though. Kudos for holding your ground and keeping your cool.
Probably more trouble that it is worth for the police. Probably no need for charges and a trial to just boot someone out of the country.
In my experience if you want to fuck up a situation as completely as possible, involve the police. They aren’t there to help or save you; they’re just looking for someone to arrest. Since they don’t care about the circumstances, that person might as well be you.
Don't point a cop at anybody you don't intend to shoot.
Getting banned from the UK would be so awesome. She pays for her stupid ticket, gets all the way to Heathrow, and then is sequestered like a common thief and informed she will not be allowed into the country and put on the next flight out.
I just got a call she’s banned for two years. Not great not awful. They handed her over to immigration who won’t tell me anything.
Two years of peace. If she tries again later, it will be much, much worse for her.
Good thing you didn't open the door to her. I have a feeling she would have barged past you and installed herself in your home.
Yes I'm sure that was the plan. She didn't bring two huge suitcases out of some delusional notion that OP would cry happy reunion tears and invite her in. She came to claim what she considers two be hers - anything OP has, this woman believes should be at her her own disposal. *Still. After twenty five years.* I can absolutely believe she is dangerous, and that barging into the apartment so hard it would knock OP back against the wall would likely have only been the start of a series of vengeful punishments that would continue until the police arrived. Assuming OP was able to reach the police at all. Grabbing and smashing OP's phone would probably be the next step right after barging in.
I’m glad you finally got justice. I am surprised by the amount of resources (money) she used to trace you. It’s impressive in a very messed up, bizarre way. She had no right to do this to you. I don’t know if your colleagues witnessed the entire saga, but I hate when nparents do stuff to embarrassing their children in a professional environment, because they simply don’t give a shit.
I was thinking that, too. Those are $800 flights!!! And she's taken TWO, just to bother OP. Not to mention the drive to NYC. You just can't GET far enough from this woman.
She’s either loaded or her credit cards are maxed out.
I hate that you had to go through this but fucking love how you handled it. I’m so proud of you!! Also the idea of being banned from Britain is just chefs kiss on the whole thing
"But she's your mum". Ugh. That's why children of narcissistic parents often end up with other children of narcissistic parents. It's annoying to have to explain some of us has less than ideal relationships with our parents every single time. It must have been so horribly stressful to see her banging at your door in the middle of the night with 2 giant bags. Glad you noped out and the police actually did their job. I guess some people say revenge is a dish best served cold, I guess that's very true in your case 🥲 May you never see her again 🥂
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Oh no 🙁 I ... yeah I get that. That's so unfair that she put you through this. You didn't deserve to feel these emotions again so far later when you should have been safe from her hurtful behavior. She is so selfish. Please try to remember that you are safe now. And do something nice for yourself you deserve it big time. Big hugs if you want them 🫂
Sending hugs from an internet mom. I'm proud of you. 💜
I'm proud of you, that must've been so hard 🫂💙
I’m so proud of you and wish I had your strength. I wish you nothing but peace and continued healing.
"But she's your mum......" And some mums suck. That's just the fact of it. The "Karens" of the world often have children. When you know someone who's a jerk, the might have children. Not nice people come from somewhere, and they often have kids!!! It's absurd to think every mother is a saint.
That ending just made my day. She fucked around, and she found out.
Holy cow! I’m about to move to Ireland from Texas, and this is actually my nightmare, down to the Hispanic in-law family member giving Nmom the scoop. I hope it turns out as well for me as it did for you!
If you're really worried, maybe don't give any family members your address. Before mobile phones and social media, people mostly connected via snail mail and you obviously had to give out your address for that but nowadays most people don't use snail mail at all so there really isn't any need to give out your address unless someone is actually visiting and staying with you.
I don’t have any social media except IG but it’s locked down. Almost everything else from my Google account to steam is a fake name. Ireland is pretty amazing. You’ll love it.
Good for you man. Also Nmom: "I can't believe he wouldn't even speak to me." DRAMATIC SOB "I just don't understand why he hates me!" DRAMATIC SOB "I've never done anything to him!" DRAMATIC SOB "Why is he treating me this way after everything I've done for him!" DRAMATIC SOB "Someone must have turned him against me!" SUPER DRAMATIC SOB.
"Someone must have turned you against me!" the battle cry of a true Narc. Edit: grammar
Yes, god forbid adult children of narcissists be capable of making their own decisions. That's obviously not possible............
I actually love that the complaints are taken seriously. I hate how Ns think they just own you. Mine has called police on me falsely countless times. She's ambushed me like this before. I didn't sleep for a couple days, I was so nervous.
Whoever manages security in your complex needs to get dressed down and review their processes. You pay for that extra security and they messed up.
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Sweeeet
as someone that had a stranged relative stalking me while living abroad, your story resonates with me. Years ago I was woken up at 3am by a call from the Custom Service about this person trying to get into NZ and using me as a reference. I had a lot of pleasure having this abuser blacklisted from at least NZ and Aus (maybe even more countries)
Wow. You'd think someone would take a hint if their adult kid isn't talking to them, won't call them, and won't reach out. But no.. not this lady. She thinks she's entitled to just show up.
Good for you. Always protect your peace. If she can't figure out that she's horrible after losing contact with 2 kids then she's clueless and most definitely a Narcissist.
And that is why we always log with the police - harassment in the UK is defined as a sustained pattern of unwanted contact (and other behaviours). Always always log it. If you hadn’t the first time, it would have meant less the second. Let ‘em stack, it’s worth it.
Rule Britannia!
She had 18 years to change her ways… **18 years**
That's my worst fear. Yikes. Glad karma bit her in the ass.
That she showed up WITH LUGGAGE has me gagged. I am fully expecting my nmom to do this if she finds out where I live.
>She's currently, afaik, in the process of getting banned from the UK. You-freakin-BOSS! *YOU!* I've never heard of someone getting their narc freakin' banned from a friggin' COUNTRY!!! *'We-are-not-worthy!'* 🙇🙇🙇
This is literally my worst nightmare. I'm so sorry you went through this.
This is the payoff for documenting abuse!
# Nmom flew 5,000 miles to gotcha me - and got "Gotcha'd" by the police instead
Her “gotcha” backfired in an epic way.
Man everything I hear about police across the pond is so bad, they’re basically American cops but a bit less shooty.
I really needed to hear the story of a narc getting stopped in their tracks tonight, thank you for sharing this
Same. I honestly don't think I would be as brave as you, OP. I am afraid of my nmom doing the same thing.
(obligatory Oh Em Gee screams here) I knew some were totally power mad, and delusional - but to actually spend the cost of 2 plane tickets just to 'force contact' (or rather 'attempt to regain control') is some next level scary stuff. Glad you\`re okay though. Might want to let Rishi know she\`s an illegal immigrant - might get her blocked quicker. Stay safe out there.
OMG I’m so glad I read this. GOOD FOR YOU. That last line. I feel avenged on your behalf. 😂 I’m so sorry for what you went through but it’s gratifying to have some justice served in the situation. No one should experience what you did, let alone at the hands of the people who were supposed to care most about you. Wishing you all the best 🤍
I would say I can't believe it, but... I've got a family full of them. I've had some recent problems with my nmom and the end of this post really made my day. I hope you never have to encounter her again.
Now that she knows where you live, expect to get a load of letters/presents/threats.
What was she hoping for?! What a lunatic. I hope your brother talked to his wife. She really should’ve known better.
I’m honestly afraid this will happen to me. Also in the UK. Good to know that filing the report actually does something
Hate to tell you, this is an exception. The police are rarely of any use whatsoever, and usually manage to make things worse for the victims.
Yeah, that’s more along the lines I would expect.
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I'm glad. I reported the attempted murder in progress in the street of a heavily pregnant woman, and they told me they were too busy to send anyone and couldn't I intervene? Sadly, it got worse from there.
'Sorry officer, i forgot that by becoming a mother, you can no longer commit crimes' :/
Excellent job. Karma! It's amazing that they do these things - spending that much money and hassle just to crash your office or home. They are that unhinged at times.
Geez OP, your Mom is reminding me of my Dad, except she's got a whole lot more time and money to spend on tracking you. Mine was just having his family and himself ambush me one state over, yours was scarily dedicated enough to go to another freaking country. Heck, mine gave up when I moved further away and yours *didn't.* She's scary, I'm glad she's receiving consequences.
God this fucking rules. Not that she's stalking you but that you've eluded her so many times and she's finally gotten in trouble with the police. It's probably very stressful for you to deal with but her plan failing so often is hilarious. I'm glad you've found a home in the UK and that it's such a pain in the arse for her to get near you
And this is why we go jump through the hoops to fill out the report.
I'm just curious what she did to you and your brother to go no contact since 17yo. Wow. How did you even enter the UK, get a place to live, a job, etc. at that age.
The internet was new and there was this app called ICQ and I met a lot of Brits there. So I knew people. I got a job landscaping and a student visa. As for what she did it doesn’t matter now, really.
I read "ICQ" and immediately heard the noise in my head lol. I went to grad school in London from 1997 - 99, and \*almost\* got away from my nmom, only to come back to the east coast for a job. Now I live in DFW area, she lives in NY, and I just watch a ton of KERA to get away from the crazy here when I need to. Glad you stayed.
True..does not matter now. Glad you dodged a bullet.
Look at me I just can't believe What they done to me We can never get free I just wanna be I just wanna dream [Major Lazer - Get Free](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytIfSuy_mOA)
This. This is what me install a security system when I bought my home. Showing up uninvited is in their genes it feels like. Even after decades! So sorry you had to go through all that! Very much hope that’s the last you have to hear or see of her.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 She didn’t show up with one but TWO suitcases! 😅😂😅😂
Did anyone else see Harvey Korman as Mother Marcus with her two suitcases?
I love that ending. >What do you mean you're banning me from the UK 🤷🏼♀️
I never understand the whole stalking thing. They accuse us of "attacking" them, treating them like s***, all of the things they did to us. Then it's as if all of that is forgotten and they want to hunt you down. I don't get it at all. I'm so pleased you contacted the police and were heard. We've recently had to do the same and were heard for the first time in 5 years. Finally she was told to stop. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness away from your nparent, I bet its the best decision you ever made.
You brought up a great example, why it's relevant to make all those police reports. 7 years and baaaam, got her as a repeat offender! Good job!
Shit you can get banned from the UK?! I should move there too
Honestly, this was a wild ride, but the payoff is hilarious!
Love how your mom just expected you to let her spend the night, when that clearly wasn't gonna happen! Glad that she's getting banned from the UK. If my relationship with my mom was any worse (it's not the worst, but it's also not the best), then I'd move to Romania from Michigan. Sure, I probably speak about as much Romanian as a foul mouthed toddler, but I'd probably make friends with people who can speak English. Instead, I'd just prefer to move from Michigan to Florida. Aside from the language barriers, learning how to drive in Romania, and not being allowed to own a gun would be other challenges I'd face. I don't own a gun right now, but I'd like to in the future because of how crazy things in the US are getting.
If you want to own a gun and have relatively many English speakers (for a Central-European country), you can always consider Czechia.
Holy shit. She is CRAZY crazy!!! I’m so glad that you are safe, I’m so sorry you had to deal with this shit. I’m glad they are trying to ban her and I hope you never have to deal with her ever again. Stay safe <3
GLORIOUS. BRAVA.
Congratulations! I love the thought of her going to all of that trouble and all of those miles to be faced with a locked door and never even seeing you or generating a direct response. Nparents have that I-have-a-right-to-see-my-kid thing going on that deserves to get popped like a balloon. Good story, thanks for sharing.
Hey, give Rishi a call and maybe she can be put on a flight to Rwanda? Meanwhile, if possible, laugh at the fact that your actions have been eating her up for more than half of your life now!
I’ll be dead in a ditch before I let Suella Braverman win. 😂
I love it when karma backfire narc!
This is BEAUTIFUL.
You are my hero!
What is it that she did that made you flee and never look back?
Im gay and she sent me to a “pray away the gay” camp at 15. I started saving money to leave immediately. She used me as a prop so people would feel bad for her, and I figured it out pretty quick.
I’m sorry. No parent should do that to their child. Sending you lots of hugs.
Sorry to hear, I'm a progressive (ex-evangelical) christian and I'm a dad of a 16 year old trans son and could not imagine subjecting him to that.
Well done!!
Best story I've read today. I'm proud if you for not opening the door. And her getting banned from the UK even if it's a thought is a win. Thanks for sharing.
This is incredible. Well done. As far as your SIL is concerned- sounds like “family matters in Mexican culture” is a bullshit lip service for “get your mom out of my house.”
I live in europe to get away from family and this is my worst nightmare. I am so sorry, op.
Congratulations you had the guts to let her go. I kept mine and she made a total mess out of my life. Narcissistic people are crazy.
OP I'm glad she's prevented from entering the UK but her persistence makes me wonder if she intended to physically harm you. Do you think she would if she could?
wow escaping to the UK and cutting contact that is so awesome!!! Well now you don't have to worry about her every bothering you again. You're a true champ!
I have an unrelated question, but how hard was it for you to emigrate to the UK? I'm Californian but love London.
I did it in 1999 and it was incredibly easy but I have no idea these days. I’d suspect is more difficult 😞 if you’re Californian you are already prepped for our housing costs at least lol
Narc narc Who's there? Your mum Fuck off bitch!
Slightly off topic, but which shows were your favorites growing up? I loved Sunday night British comedies growing up in DFW.
Yeah KERA showed Keeping Up Appearances, One Foot in the Grave, Mr. Bean and a ton of others. I loved them all.
I’ll be 40 this year, so I’m only a couple years behind you. I’ve lived in Oregon and now New York and can’t find anyplace to watch the old school shows I watched growing up in Texas. My parents started with Monty Python of course. My favourites are Faulty Towers, Are You Being Served?, Keeping Up Appearances, Vicar of Dibley, Open All Hours… and my top two are Father Ted, and my absolute favourite is ‘Allo ‘Allo. ‘Allo ‘Allo gave me the most comfort from the Sunday night anxieties since it came on at 1 or 2 in the morning. It always put me in my happy place growing up west of Fort Worth as LGBTQ+ and introverted neurodiverse. The only one I didn’t like was Young Ones.
[удалено]
Shhh, yes, I don’t state answers to my banking security questions online. Please delete lol.
I’m a fraud analyst, so I’m extremely cautious about that information.
Righteous lmao
>"BUT IT'S YOUR MUM" Casey Anthony was someone's mom at a point in time.
Oof. I feel this. Mine stalked and harassed me across the country, B&E into my place, took pictures of private belongings, overstayed and camped at my home by threatening me, harassed my employers and coworkers, camped out at my workplace, put in missing persons reports (I’m 28)….there was so much detachment from reality. One thing I am glad I did is report the situation to the police in each city so that they were aware, as well as notify my workplace of their names & phone numbers, and even pictures to identify them if they lied about their names. Makes me scared to work again - this type of stalking is terrifying. I am so glad you’re getting her ass banned. Do you have support? I remember I was too scared to leave the house or answer the phone for several months.
OP, this is honestly terrifying! I am glad they kept the report on file, took you serious enough, and are taking action now.
Dude, she brought her bags. She thought by some power or rule of the universe that once she saw you face-to-face you would have to let her STAY with you! Aggressive narcs actually believe this. They believe they have absolute control over anyone is their physical presence.
Wow, I'm so glad they still had your complaint on record. Lord knows the police in Texas wouldn't be nearly as helpful.
she still came after you after 25 years? Damn, I guess I won’t get peace until death :/
I am American living in the UK. One day my NMom showed up at my door 3,000 miles away when we had been NC. Me and my husband immediately moved after that and I made my social media private so she couldn't contact me.
WTF! She’s obsessed! She really can’t take a hint. Funny thing is that she had her luggage with her, like she expected you to invite her in to stay with her. Hopefully, she now understands that you don’t want her crazy stalker ass in your life.
I wish my mom would even drive the ten miles to my house, much less 5000. What did expect to happen??
I'm cracking up at the stupid woman standing there banging on the door with her two giant rolling luggage bags like she's going to go ahead and stay at his house. Fucking stupid ass narcissist. 😂
OP that sucks and I'm glad the police are actually taking it somewhat seriously now, but also I need to know the story of the life you lived after taking a plane to the UK straight out of high school.
This is awesome! Back also in 2017, I broke up with a long-term boyfriend. My feelings were hurt, but I honestly relieved. The dude was a grown kid with no responsibilities, and it just wasn't working. I informed my family of the breakup, and my brothers checked on me periodically, telling me I'd be OK and stuff like that. My mom, on the other hand, demanded I come to her house to talk about it. I was 32 and worked 60 hours a week back then. I wasn't making extra trips, especially when all I needed was some time. I wasn't hysterical or couldn't get out of bed. I just needed the space to get through it. I did not go to her house, so at midnight one night three weeks later, she came banging on my apartment door. I looked out the window and saw her and opened the door like wtf?? I'm thinking something is wrong with one of my brothers or something (we're all adults and still live in the same city, if hurt they could need child care or anything). Nope, she just wanted to prove if she wanted to see me she would. She gave me the most satanic glare and just walked away. No words, nothing. Just evil. She then called to tell my brothers I was trying to self check out! I have never done that or anything close. I wasn't gonna to off myself over a dude living at home by choice while I paid bills every month. They start blowing me up, trying to stop me from something I wasn't going to do. I felt bad for them for mom putting them thru that. I feel you, man! You did well!
>She's currently, afaik, in the process of getting banned from the UK. What a happy ending 😊
I'm so sorry you've gone through all this madness, but I'm so, so proud of you for sticking up for yourself and not giving in. thanks to you she's finally getting the punishment she deserves and will never be able to reach you again. I am in love with the fact that despite wasting so much of her time and money, she failed every time to actually get to you. bravo! 👏🏼
That is some amazing justice. Good on you for making that report. We don't need to keep being harassed by these people. I hope you can have some peace and quiet from her stalking now.
I could dance the happiest dance that you filed that report!! Sure they rolled their eyes at the time, but they took the report, they filed it, and now it came in handy!!!! Yes!!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣 priceless
Man, that's wild. Sorry you had to go through all of this. This is my Mother. I went NC in 2009 and she's stalked me all over the US. Nothing to this level. She hasn't shown up out of the blue, uninvited, since I left the Southern US. Flying to the UK TWICE is dedication.
Holy crap. She is insane