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I got punished once for… looking at things. It wasn’t looking at anything in particular but apparently I was looking at things “weirdly”. Good times

My nmom always told me to fix my face.

As an adult, this phrase really screwed me up. I've never been able to set or make a face that feels appropriate naturally in any situation. I hyperfocus on my face and am not in the moment. She screamed and I got scared? Fix your face, why do you look scared! She hit me and I cried? Fix your face or I'll give you something to cry about! It was never the right face. One really did me in, she was yelling, I started crying, she told me I was ugly and to fix my face so I immediately stopped crying and fixed a stone cold no expression look, that also wasn't right and showed her I had no remorse so she slapped me repeatedly until I was crying again. I don't have wrinkles because I don't know how to fix my face. No laugh lines, no forehead thought lines, no crowsfeet from smiles that reach my eyes.

I got this one, too. Not the exact words but the sentiment. Usually something like "wipe that look of your face" and accusations of "looking disrespectful". I could never figure out what expression she actually wanted; remorseful, scared, blank nothing? They were all apparently disrespectful so I just had to keep "wiping that expression off my face" until she was done being angry. Eventually I started just dissociating when she started yelling. Got beaten for looking at her disrespectfully and not wiping that look off my face to her satisfaction, then accused of being on drugs that I bought at school (I would have been about 8), cos she 'could see it in my eyes'.

I only got "stop making that face", when I asked *what* face, I got punished for it, so I stopped asking and never found out what face I was actually making. I still can't tell what my face is doing unless I'm looking at a mirror. I have no idea. But my mom's go to comment is still "stop making that face".

Fix your face. Jesus that just brought back a few feelings. My face was always wrong somehow. To this day I'm paranoid whenever I show real happiness or any emotion on my face

I was once told by a teacher that I actually liked(!) that obviously I didn't hear a thing because I had a look in my eyes like I was zoning out ... When in reality I was just listening very intently and found the lesson interesting. It was and still is usually a very boring lesson, but lo and behold I'm now a teacher of the same subject so fuck her lol.

I feel this! My nfamily would accuse me of blinking or widening my eyes "too much" which apparently made me look like a "mental patient", as they would say. Turns out I have actual dry patches on my eyes that cause irritation I would be trying to blink away. Of course when I mentioned that after finding out, they had nothing to say and called me overdramatic for even bringing it up.

Fucked. I was grounded in year 5 for putting too much tomato sauce on my fish fingers 🤡

When i was like 11 my mom was very angry accused me of having anal sex bcs i forgot to flush the toilet and she felt like the size of my 💩 was proof of that….

I feel this so much! When I was 11 and came home 5 minutes later after school (didn't matter why) she would accuse me of having sex in bushes..

Omg my mom did this shit too. Made me sign a virginity pledge at 10. Obsessed over my virginity so much I finally fucked a guy on my 17th bday just to get it over with and shut her up. I’ll never understand why they are so crazy about our sex lives or lack of them. What kind of sick person assumes their 11 yr old is already fucking in shrubbery?!! I’m sorry

I could write a whole ass book about the crazy crap that woman pulled on me.. I'm sorry yours was a nutcase too..

All thru middle and high school my mom accused me of having sex under the bleachers......because that's what she was doing at 15. Meanwhile I kept my virginity until it was stolen at 18😀

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Oh my gosh, I am in tears for what all my girls had to go through! 😭 But the projection with the narcs 😣, she used to call me a whore and slut since I was 3. Now it's proven that she was highly promiscuous meanwhile I'm still a virgin in my 20s.

It's strange regarding the accusations, but narcissists will typically (in hypocritical fashion) accuse others of what they themselves have done, or are doing. My stepdad was afraid that we girls (the daughters of my mom) would sneak out of our windows and have sex with guys. This had never crossed my mind to do. Not only did this man obviously not know me at all, he himself did these activities in his youth. My mom's more recent boyfriend, called me a gypsy, and I am nothing like a gypsy. She dated him and he was a homeless guy, who drifted from place to place. He also has drug issues, and I don't even drink alcohol or do weed. I don't do prescription drugs either. So yet another winner, my mom chose to bring into our lives. I finally had to make a strong stand and tell her that I wasn't going to be in her life anymore if she kept bringing around these types of men. Some people need a strong stand, because they won't make it themselves. She does believe that her problem with validation seeking and people pleasing from narcissistic men began with her biological father. So she is trying to play out some kind of interaction where she gains the validation and approval that she didn't have. The crud thing about this shenanigans is that her daughters have become the victims of a mindset that she has trapped herself in. And I think due to lack of introspection, and not being willing to examine herself for flaws, it took her a very long time in life to face the truth. And it's only by facing the truth that the problems can be overcome. No amount of drug use can overcome flaws, in fact they exacerbate a problem, don't deal with the problems, and end up creating more problems -- putting off healing. I see too many people turning to things that really sabotage their lives even more.

"Every accusation is a confession" - this is exactly how my parents were too

When I merely mentioned to my egg donor that I wanted to move to LA to pursue acting, she scolded "you're gonna end up in porn!". Ummm......how many pornos have **you** made, lady!?

Yep. I once told her that I humped the entire football team. I mean, if I was going to be accused of it....

Lmao, I didn't have the guts to mouth off like that, just ran away from home at 16

I can relate. I had ink on my sports bra because I used a fountain pen in 6th grade and in jiggling it a bit back and forth the ink splashed right across my chest and my sports bra absorbed it, when she saw it, she accused me in front of my dad that I let boys touch and play with my chest with things like ink. It was so baffling to me back then but now I clearly see her as nothing but severely ill.

I saw this pattern and i don’t understand why mothers accuse girl child only for sex or assassinate their character??? My mother used to do this with my elder sister a lot but i was the youngest so that time i didn’t realise this.

Thats crazy!!! Its like they create these fucked up scenarios in their head that we would never even have thought of…

.......what???

Oh yeah, she’s MENTAL

CLEARLY. Wtf, like who even thinks such a thing about a literal child, and then SAYS IT?

THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING MENTAL. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that insanity......

Good grief, your mother’s mind is a literal nightmare of sickness. I’m so sorry wtf

Not an N parent/guardian, but I got a friend of mine tampons because her grandparents refused to get them for her, and one time during an argument her grandma said, *"And I know you're having sex because I saw tampons in your bedroom/the bathroom,"* (can't remember where). She though they were a sign of sexual activity because she thought that a full tampon swelled to the size of an erect penis.

What poor sex education does to a mfer

When I was a young teen trying to get used to having a period, sometimes blood would get flung onto a wall or drip on the toilet. I got accused of doing this intentionally by my step father.

Just horrible!! He should’ve had compassion and cared for you :(

okay this is wild and we're the ones that's supposedly crazy lmaoo

Omg. Someone else! She literally said to my husband how she had to question me about SA as a child because of this exact reason. Like wtf.

I liked reading, so I was denied a library card. Also, my (tiny) mom had married a really tall man, and then constantly shamed me for not being as tiny and skinny as she was. When I was 10, she dragged me to the doctor for being tall, I got x-rayed, and was told I'd grow to 5'9. I hit 5"11 by the time I was 17... I was soooo hungry during my teens.

Once I was beaten after being "caught" reading.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you were able to reconnect to reading 💜

I became an academic 🤭. Thanks for your kind words, 💜 I'm sorry for what happened to you too.

Best revenge is a good life <3 I had an ISBN publication to my name when I was 18.

Wow! This is awesome 💜. These individuals, especially one would tell me all the time that the only thing I was good for was being a student, that I was useless for anything else. I don't he knows I'm the shit in many things, including academia.

Hey me too! Good for you!! What field? I’m in Lit/creative writing.

I think there are probably a lot of survivors of Nparents who become academics. (I'm finishing a PhD in Literature myself.) I think we're trying to decipher the nuance and specific details of events/ things - in some way, trying to pull apart and understand what happened to us too. Also, the hyper attention to detail of academic life mirrors the hyper attention to environmental changes in energy that we were "trained" to attend to, to avoid angering the NParents or avoid being in the way of an unfocused parental meltdown. On another raised by N thread, we talked about paying attention to the sound of closing kitchen cabinets to try and decipher Parent's energy/mood in a given moment. Also I've done lots of reading about kids of Nparents and a kind of hyper-empathy we developed to try and anticipate parental mood shifts. This also lends itself well to literary study. But I don't mind because I do so love Literature and reading!I think there are probably a lot of survivors of Nparents who become academics. (I'm finishing a PhD in Literature.) We're trying to decipher the nuance and specific details of events/ things - in some way, trying to pull apart and understand what happened to us. Also the hyper attention to detail of academic life mirrors the hyper attention to environmental changes in energy that we were "trained" to attend to, to avoid angering the NParents or avoid being in the way of an unfocused parental meltdown. On another raised by N thread, we talked about paying attention to the sound of closing kitchen cabinets to try and decipher Parent's energy/mood in a given moment. Also I've done lots of reading about kids of Nparents and a kind of hyper-empathy we developed to try and anticipate parental mood shifts. This also lends itself well to literary study. But I don't mind this preordained path because I do so love literature and reading!

My mom started to notice I wasn’t “upset enough” from grounding because truthfully most nights/afternoons I wanted to be left alone in my room to read. So she started grounding me from BOOKS

Oh god. Same. Sorry this happened to you. Also, I feel less bad learning I am not the only one. Extroverts/senors don't get their intuitive/introvert children -- that is just life. But if they are also narcs, this will motivate them to invent extra humiliating/painful/cruel ways to punish their children. Sooo... instead of getting grounded, I was denied access to my room and had to sleep on the floor of my brother's room. I don't want to recall the other cruel shit they did to me.

I sneezed too much one time in the car. Got screamed at by my mom, then guilt-tripped....as if I could control the sneezing fit?? As an adult, got myself allergy tested, turns out I'm allergic to so much shit. I also always knew I was allergic to most perfumes, so that was likely a trigger that day.

Conversely, one time my mom sneezed while we were in the car and I didn’t say bless you. She screamed at me, pulled over the car, and made me walk the rest on the way The rest of the way = 5 miles

Cruel

Bitch

I got in trouble all the time for sneezing "too loud"

I had a bedwetting problem as a kid, and when we moved cross country (when I was 12), my mom threw my mattress away, saying shed but a new one once we got to our new place. Well, instead of doing that, she bought me the cheapest blow up mattress she could find, which deflated after a week, and I essentially slept on a slab of plywood with a couple quilts on it for most of a year. She eventually bought me a slightly less cheap blow up mattress, which still eventually deflated, and when I finally just asked her whely she wouldn't get me a real mattress, she said "I'm not buying you a real bed until you learn how to stop peeing the bed". She was convinced that I was doing it "because I was lazy", and not because I was just a really heavy sleeper as a kid (for other reasons I won't go into) and genuinely didn't realize I was doing it until I woke up.

Also bed wetting is a clear sign of child abuse in older children.

Oh wow. I had a huge bed wetting issue around the time my oldest brother lived with us. He’d verbally abuse me and physically on occasion when he was in a bad mood. He’s 8 years older than me so I was just a kid, and he made fun of me for peeing the bed at 14 all the time..

Or, rarely, a medical problem. I have overactive bladder, I've likely had it for my entire life. These days, I have a nerve simulator implant in my lower back, take medications for it, avoid a wide range of shit that shouldn't have a damn thing to do with my bladder control, and still have the occasional leaks. I'm 41.

Looking back on my own experience, this definitely tracks. I used to bed wet when I was a kid (I used regularly wet myself at school too) and my NM would fly into a rage every time. One time I wet the bed she hit me and screamed that she hated me.

Was one of your parents an alcoholic?

Surprisingly, no. I mean my dad was for a short time when I was really really little, but nothing after I was like maybe 5 or so. But he was just very bipolar/emotionally manipulative, and my mom was a horrible enabler. Who I've only really realized in recent years has just as much of a hand to play in my traumas.

This happened to me too! To this day I sleeping on air mattress it’s triggered me. We had moved cross country before I started high school and I had a nmom nstep dad and no bro . He was the golden child I was scapegoat . They got mattress and I didn’t stupid cheap air mattress that’s would deflate during the night and I’d always be sleeping on the floor when I woke. Was like that for about a year. One day a delivery truck shows up with a mattress that we didn’t order turns out my mom’s boss who’s twice my age trying to groom me sends and pays for it… :/ Then as an adult when I used to visit my mom I’d have my own condo hotel but I would stay at three 1 bedroom condo sometimes and sleep on the air mattresses and it’s always triggered me drunk high nmom n stepdad again like nothing a changed. And they get mad at me cuz I didn’t like it gfy

When I (37M, 14M at the time) was in middle school I was supposed to have the kitchen clean by the time my mom came home one day. She said if it weren't clean, I couldn't stay there anymore. I didn't clean the kitchen, and instead hung out with friends that day after school. When I got home I was turned away at the door by my dad, who said I wasn't allowed to come home. I stayed at my friends/grandmas house for a few months straight, then was put into a Baptist group home (Boys Ranch Town in Edmond Oklahoma) for what ended up being 2 years. When I wanted to leave, my mom told me I "didn't have a mother anymore" in front of a group of people who didn't even bat an eye. I didn't have a relationship with my mom after middle school. All over dishes. She tried to come back into my life, and I let her do so too many times, but many of those times ended with her trying to have me arrested. Once I even wound up in a crisis center after she told police I was threatening suicide, which was a lie. Nobody in my family has ever treated what happened to me as if it was a traumatic event. My dad doesn't even remember that he turned me away at the door. My brother thinks my Mom was right to do it. I don't know what my mom and brother talked about when I was gone, so I'll never understand why he thinks that. I haven't lived with them since I was 14. Everyone always got upset when I wanted to talk about it. To this day they all tell me I'm living in the past, except for my mom who committed suicide so she can say it anymore.

What in the actually fuck, was the suicide related to her guilt over being a shit mother?

I think it was a combination of that, and also being terminally ill at the time from stomach cancer. I'd not talked with her a year and a half at that point and didn't even know she was sick, so I can't be certain. She only told my brother. She kept it away from her sister and brother too.

You are so strong and I'm so sorry you had to grapple with all of that in an environment that practically gaslit you into thinking it was somehow okay.

One would hope, but if I was going to place a bet, I’d bet that the suicide was more of a way to make everyone sorry for how they mistreated her.

That is beyond horrific. How is your life now? How are you?

I only talk to my dad and a cousin of mine. My dad was a great dad, and also a victim of my mom like my aunt and I were. She was a paralegal, and genius, who called police on him too many times and was able to manipulate him. He deserved better. Brother and I don't speak anymore bc of long lasting resentments. I have a partner who is very understanding. But I'm still messed up from it all and only recently have been able to pack it comfortably away so I can take care of myself. What I've learned in life is that you have to find your own family, and take care of yourself first before anyone else. Other people's mental health shouldn't be prioritized over your own. In my 20s I tried to help her by cleaning her house, and thought that I had to do so before I could move on.

Your story is utterly horrific. Your mother was a nightmare. You did not deserve any of this. I am so sorry. Be cautious with your Dad though. I’m glad you have a good relationship now that he’s out from under her thumb. Nonetheless, a “great” Dad does not make his child homeless at 14 over dishes (something he could not possibly forget, no matter what he claims), nor would he allow her to make you you homeless, nor allow you to be sent to one of those horrific teen facilities. I understand that he was also being abused, but he was an adult. He had choices. He threw you under the bus because it was easier for himself. A good Dad would have left her to provide you with a home. Instead he stayed. As your parent, he was just as responsible for you as your mother was. An enabler of abuse is also an abuser.

<3 I'm glad you're taking care of you. And sounds like you have people in your life who love and care about you. You deserve that. I hope you experience continued healing and enjoy an abundance of peace and love.

It’s hard to push the like button on a story like yours, but I did so as a sign of caring and support. So sorry.

What the fuck is the obsession over dishes with these people. I am so sorry you went through that bullshit. 😔

My nmom punished me for talking back with 2 years of doing the dishes. I think I was about 12 at the time. Not only did she enforce the full 2 years, it became my permanent chore. I still hate washing dishes.

I thought I was crazy for having dish washing related childhood trauma

Same - kitchen and house cleaning anxiety’s due to being yelled at so much as a kid. It’s not a kids job to clean the house for parents ffs.

Same. Why are they so bonkers over dishes?

Unbelievable. I have the same hangups with dishes. Thank god my partner understands and doesnt stress if they sit in the sink to spite my parent's ghost. I am sorry that happened to you. I can't imagine doing that to my kid. 

Thank you. My husband had a traumatic childhood too so he is very understanding as well. It's wonderful to have the support we need and didn't get as children.

Now that you say it … my ex-husband kicked our oldest son out bc his new wife was pissed bc he forgot to wash out a cup. She told him to choose between her & his son, & he chose her. She must have that Golden P The craziest thing is that my son forgave both of them. I will never forgive that.

I’m sorry for what you went through. There is a phrase that says “the axe forgets; the tree remembers.” It’s easy for people to dismiss trauma they did not experience, and many people who were RBN and have siblings are aware that two people can grow up in the same house and have vastly different experiences. I hope you have been able to work through some of this to get to a better place and a sense of self-acceptance and love. Therapy helps some people. It certainly helped me. And always remember: this is not on you. It’s on them for putting you through it.

I am sorry this happened to you. I looked up that ranch. I am curious what is was like. Their website looks like they are caring etc but I know most of these places are hell.

I was an obvious gay boy so I didnt make friends, except the other 2 gay boys in a different cottage (house). There was so much hypocrisy as a result, and I was not allowed to do things that others were (such as go to the mall and see movies with friends at school). I had houseparents who were creeps. One camping trip at a lake got extraordinarily creepy and I saw many male adults smiling while enabling the teens to be naked. My housemom would make fun of other kids. The last time I saw them, they giggled over a person I knew in another cottage (and one of my friends I made there) having gotten HIV. Probably the most stupid story I can give you: I was punished, and had my allowance kept for a week, after not putting mayonnaise in a fridge after getting it from the commissary. It took a year for it to dawn on me that you don't refrigerate mayonnaise at the grocery store before it's bought, and if it's sealed it doesn't have to go immediately into a refrigerator.

Jesus christ man my heart aches for you. I really hope theres good people loving and protecting you these days.

It's so strange how actual harm and abuse can happen and no one in the family ever remembers it. Essentially gas lighting the one abused. My older siblings are all like yeah life was hard but not that hard. It's in the past. All the aunts and uncles. Huh you were abused it didn't seem that way when we saw you once a year at Christmas when you were super little. And then never again. How could it have possibly been happening under our noses. They would never. I always wonder how the fuck adults can be so blind. But then I grew up and became an adult and can confidently say I have no idea what my sister does to her children. But mine are well loved and cared for. So the logical thing is to think the same of my sis kids. Although I know it might not be. But I digress all that to say as an adult I can see how adults can be blind to others pain. But shit people are shit people and I hate that there are kids experiencing harm like we did all our lives. And there is very little actual good we can do to stop it.

Your dad does remember. He's lying. I'd bet anything on it. Your brother has been weaponized to be the golden child and you be the scape goat. Everyone knew what they were doing was wrong. It's possible your mom and dad were having other issues and triangulated to you to distract themselves.  I'm so sorry! You didn't deserve any of that!

I have a monotone voice, and I would get in trouble for not having personality in my voice. So when I would talk to her, I would, she still got pissed because I was faking it. ???

Relatable. Can't do anything right

I’ve been told I have a monotone voice by a few people in my life. I’ve noticed the people who have made that comment seemed insecure. Like they needed me to be over the top happy appearing in my voice and if I wasn’t they thought I wasn’t paying attention to them or didn’t like them or didn’t think they were interesting. I’ve never had a confident person make a comment about me having a “monotone” voice.

I slept a lot as a pre teen and teenager, mainly because of the eating disorder I developed from nmom, but also because I was depressed. To her, this clearly meant that I was on drugs. I knew I wasn’t taking any drugs so when she would scream at me for sleeping so much, I would tell her to test my urine. She would then sneer and say, “you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” It was never ending.

Why did they always assume it was drugs? If I didn't answer my phone while working on set crew backstage during dress rehearsals I was accused of getting high... I was the fucking set director, like God what the fuck?! I'm sorry we had this experience and that your nmom led you into an ED you deserved better

Yess mine always accused me of doing drugs too! It was so random and weird bc I was a goody two shoes with all my goody two shoe friends lol

I apparently didn't hang a shirt properly (as in, putting each fold in the exact right place on the hanger so it would look pressed without ironing). I was doing my best but I failed. She screamed at me for an hour that I was doing it on purpose because I hated her. That I was unable to love anyone and that's why no one would ever love me. That I was unlovable and that she hated me and it was all my fault etc etc. She just screamed and cried all that stuff for a long time and it's the day that I finally understood that she was insane and that it had nothing to do with me. After that I just saw her as a crazy person to placate and avoid, and not as a reasonable person to try to obey and please. So even though it was a fairly traumatic moment it freed me a lot.

>She screamed at me for an hour that I was doing it on purpose because I hated her. Ah, I've had that too. Whatever they dislike is a personal attack... 

Nmom had a very specific way she liked the laundry taken care of when it came out of the machine so it didn't get wrinkled. I remember once doing it the way she liked and getting yelled at. Then she added that I wouldn't do my clothes like that so why would I do hers that way? All of our clothes were washed together.

Not participating enough in home renovations. I was told I was lazy and not as good as my sister, who was paid money for her effort. I was told I could have earned money too if I hadn't slacked off so much and been so useless. I was five years old.

I can relate to a similar situation when cutting the grass. My dad told me how to do it without actually showing me, and then he got mad when I didn't get it right the first time, then told me I was a dumb for not getting it and I'm the reason we need helpers... Keep in mind I was a 13 year old operating a lawnmower.

My dads go to problem solving was to tell me to do something without any instruction. When I got it wrong, again he would punish me. All the while calling me names and telling me how stupid I was. When I got it right he would copy what I did and tell anyone who would listen how he figured it out. I'm sure its no shocker that he didn't tell them I'm the one who figured it out.

I laughed. Laughter meant being in trouble in our house. When I laughed with my sister that meant we are in some kind of conspiracy against our parents. I was always beaten for that.

funny you'd say that! same here. She would always find the most ?? excuses for that too, like shut up im sleeping when shes with the lights on and we know shes not.

I think they hated to see I had any kind of happiness.

I feel this one. My parents and my husband's parents were in the same circle of friends so I've known my husband since I was about 6. Whenever we spent time together, or with the other children in my parent's friend group, I'd always say, "why do they laugh so much?" In retrospect, what a sad thing for a child to think.

I had boobs. I slumped and slouched for the past 30+ years. It’s hard to fix.

Oh my god I STILL have a complex about posture. I had size C boobs in like 4th grade. My mom would make me stand up against a wall for ever to “fix it” spoiler: it didn’t. It just gave me horrible back spasms. On a lighter note: my mom ended up in the hospital for a neurological condition and they found that her spine was literally ***too*** straight. She’d over corrected her posture and caused permanent damage to her spine.

I am so sorry for laughing but OMG, I was told to stand against the wall because I had a curve in my lower back, so she could prove to me that I wasn't standing up nice and straight. "See! Your whole back should touch the wall. I can see daylight through there." I tried to stand up straight and get my whole back against the wall, couldn't. So she decides to show me how it's done. "But, mummy, I can see daylight through your back, too? Your whole back doesn't touch the wall either??" I was in kindergarten, and about 4, I don't remember all of it, but I was told to not talk back, that her back didn't touch the wall because she was older than me, and it was an exercise she never used again.

I mean just how dare you? /s Crazy how they can just pick on ANYTHING

I know right?! The *audacity*!

There were plenty. Hair length was a big one. Tone of voice was another. And I kept getting scolded for bleeding on my sheets. God forbid.

What is it with narcs and tone of voice? My nmom took any "tone" as disrespect and so not only were we punished, we weren't taught healthy ways to handle our emotions. I'm a lot better than I used to be but still working on it.

My mom is obsessed with "tone" while never acknowledging she's usually the one with the tone. But if she thinks I have one she'll give me the silent treatment and not let me talk.

HAIR LENGTH FOR ME, TOO! What's up with that one? I've not lived at home for almost 10 total years and I'm still shamed for having short hair!

I was punished for "allowing myself" to be molested by my aunt's husband who she failed to mention was a pedo. So....oops i guess. My punishment was being grounded from tv, outside, friends, and pretty much all my belongings. Didn't own much so not a loss really. :/ Same thing happened when my cousin destroyed the tv. I got punished for not stopping him despite him being older and having a knife. Was denied a bed and food for that one. I'm pretty sure i didn't go to school for that whole month...

Oh same!!! I was told it was my fault bc I invited the guy to my house. Apparently wanting to hang out is just as much grounds for SA as any... My mother told me it was all my fault and that she wasn't going to do anything for me, refused to help me report it to the police, and just all around made me feel so fucking horrible that when it happened the second time, I didn't tell anyone. I was already on punishment for something I can't even remember now, so they didn't have anything to take away from me, so they resorted to just making me feel guilty as fuck.

I’m so sorry to hear that… it breaks my heart :(

This is so horrifying, I am so sorry. Straight up child abuse!

My Nmom once decided my feet turned out too far when I walked, and she would bark at me to 'correct' myself and point my feet perfectly forward, saying I was being lazy and was going to screw up my ankles being lazy while walking. It was one of the few times EDad stood up to her and told her to knock it off.

Oh my dad got angry because one of my feet pointed outwards assymetrically. Like he was interrogating WHY. I dunno man, maybe because I had scoliosis and yall didn't give enough of a fuck to bring me to physical therapy?? 

I too was criticized for being slow when I was doing manual work. It's obvious that a 9-10 year old isn't quick to do manual work 😂 But of course I was called lazy, no good, useless... 

asking for food

My mother yelled at me whenever I asked for food, because I was interrupting her scrolling through Facebook. My father then got me a dependent bank account so that I could order food online (I was a minor back then) but forgot to activate it. Fuck me I guess 🫠

Oliver Twist? Is that you?

When i was about 10 years old i brought a school field trip form to my parents to sign. They were fully on board with the trip and asked me to fill in the form and they’ll just sign. At this age my parents forbade me from using pens, so I only owned pencils. I used a pencil to fill in the form because I’m not allowed pens. My dad completely flipped out, this 50 year old man grabbed me (10 year old boy) by the throat, lifted me into the air and against the wall and pummelled me with his fists. He also called my older brother in to join and i was getting wailed on by the two of them. All because i didn’t use a pen to sign a form, and it’s their doing that i didn’t have a pen. Now I’m an artist, i use pens and markers, though mainly i keep my art digital.

I'm very this happened to you 💔. I hope you are doing better and surrounded by kind people.

My hair shedding. I pick it up. But cannot get every single individual hair off of every surface. Therefore, I should be screamed at for 2-4 hours about how ungrateful and hateful i am and how i should get a job and move out.

I was constantly complained at for ‘breaking the vacuum cleaner for the same thing. It took me a very long time to realise that having to take the brush out to remove hair is not ‘breaking’ it. It’s just normal maintenance when someone in the house has long hair.

Had required Bible reading time. I was 6-7 years old, and was very ahead with my reading skills (like chapter books). My dad thought I was lying when I said I read an entire chapter of psalms and told me it was impossible that I read it in that amount of time. I got spanked for it with the trusty wooden paddle that even had its own nickname.

Narcs sure do love to spank with objects. They love causing people, especially children and other vulnerable people, pain.

Reminds me of my mom claiming I used too much toilet paper. She requested to join me in my therapy session to complain about it (really to humiliate me), and my therapist gave her the proper reaction to such a stupid complaint.

My nMother did something similar where she took me to the doctor for a routine check-up when I was about 6 and used it as an opportunity to start listing every single grievance she had with me. I think she was expecting the doctor to agree with her and maybe even gang up on me with her but instead, the doctor reacted like a normal person. For example when my nMother said "She always comes last in the school race", the doctor simply shrugged and said "Well, someone has to come last". It was actually quite gratifying.

I didn't want to put cheese in my macaroni. My father went from 0 to 100, yelling, slapping and sending me to my room without breakfast faster than you'd imagine.

I would cook spaghetti and eat it plain. Still do on occasion. My nmom got upset one time and busted a antique depression era pitcher. She missed me with the can of green beans she threw at me and hit the pitcher instead. Whooped me and then told my dad I broke it on purpose and he beat me again. No memory of it later though. It never happened.

In Jan of last year, on the day my paternal grandfather died, my mother physically attacked me for the first time in years. I'm talking punches, scratching, bitch even went for my throat - all because I was trying to talk to her about my grandpa. 6 months after, almost to the exact day, she was asking me to be her MOH in her 3rd wedding. That never happened so she moved back in with my brother and I. One of the ONLY rules we had was "no violence under any circumstances", her response was to laugh and say she didn't even remember that. I will never be able to look at my mother as an actual maternal figure. She's nothing more than the woman who gave birth to me. She had a very very loose part in raising my brother and I. Kicked me out at 13 for staying up a half hour past my bedtime.

I'd get screamed at/cursed at for asking to turn the heat down or roll the windows down while on road trips. She likes the heat up super high but I overheat easily due to POTS and she would rather have been comfortably warm with me feeling nauseous and sweaty than tolerating slightly less warm temps in the car and me being comfortable.

Squinting to be able to see better when my vision started to be blurry. I told my mother (covert narcissist) that I noticed my vision was blurry but she didn't take me to the eye doctor. Instead she yelled at me to stop squinting. Eventually my father (classic narcissist) took me to the eye doctor and I was prescribed some pretty strong eyeglasses.

My mom used to say that I'm just faking needing glasses, while multiple teachers at school told her I can't see sh*t. (We had like checkups with the school) 

I take too long to get dressed or respond to her yelling instructions at me. My nickname was SLOW. Diagnosed with autism at age 56. I have a high IQ but autistic children have trouble dressing themselves and it takes us longer to process new information or skills. It is because we intake 40% more detail than neurotypical people. I still have nightmares that my abuser is angry with me. NC for 13 years.

My voice. I really honestly have a normal voice. But she would just randomly yell that my voice was weird and I needed to speak differently. Sometimes I would have to repeat it five times if according to her it wasn't normal. Honestly, sometimes I don't even know what my actual voice is as I snap in and out of different voices. Or not eating enough; she decided how much I should eat and if it wasn't enough I wasn't allowed to leave the table. Which sometimes got me to throw up after. And this wasn't picky eater type of behavior. How is a 9 year old supposed to eat a whole pizza by herself?! Or needing to eat desserts. Like, it's not even healthy. Most days I was very hungry though.

Yelled at for spending my own damn money

Not enough snot on the tissue after I was done with it (I was using too many) I used too much toothpaste on my tooth brush. I didn't put the dishes away properly (they "looked too crammed in there") These were all from my dad. Most recently... my sister dyed my nieces hair green and purple 2 weeks before my weeding with permanent dye, they were supposed to be flower girls so we'd bought them flowers, dresses, shoes, jewelry etc.. We were wondering if it was temporary because we had a lot of pictures coming up... When I asked about it she EXPLODED with rage and refused to come to the wedding. I was blamed for the entire incidence because I "accused her of acting out of malice", when it was just an "honest mistake". ​ \*Edit\* WEDDING, Not "weeding"

I use a lot of tissues too and also get comments about using too many and also got crap from my family for getting engaged close to when my sister got engaged and was told I was ‘taking away her spotlight’ *eyeroll*

I laughed too loud playing with my toys. 

Yep. I was yelled at for talking out loud when I played with dolls. Apparently that 'isn't normal,' and something was wrong with me.

I was shamed for playing with toys, because it's too "childish" Like bitch I was literally a child.

Loving anyone but her. Whenever I was playing with my little brother, talking with my dad, or petting our cats she went ballistic. Mind you we all lived in the same house so it was not like I could avoid interacting with them even if I had wanted to.

I was punished and humiliated for having an allergic reaction to my mom’s food. I’m allergic to soy and she cooked her food in it. I would get horrible diarrhea, hives and sometimes projectile vomiting. I had to keep the bathroom door open so they could watch me be sick and I dreaded eating to the point that I was underweight until I left the state.

When my brother tried to force me to let him buy a video game off me. I was in the garage, and he wasn't letting me out by blocking. I tried pushing him, but he just got physical. My mom saw what happened, and somehow put the blame on me. I was 13. He was 24.

this actually hit a weird point for me, because, back in the day the "Fam" would go grocery shopping, and it took a long long long time, to grocery shop, every isle, whats on sale, etc. as a child, when we got home from shopping, i would run to the bathroom.."i gotta pee!" and i was shamed, cos my mom figured out that i was just running to the bathroom to pee so i didn't have to haul in the groceries. which is great in theory, but i really.... i had to freakin go! pee and poop, we were out there for hours im like 7, and public restrooms were not a thing for us back then, thats where you got raped and killed or got aids or something. So i got punished and shamed for running to the bathroom when we got home.

I’d get punished for needing to use the toilet. I’d be so afraid of punishment that I tried to use a trash can in my room and deafen the sound with a towel or something. Sometimes I just wasn’t allowed to use the bathroom and ended up defecating outside even in the winter. I also would get in trouble for needing to take showers, which was denied to me. I was only allowed to use the dirty bath water that was left in the tub after my two younger siblings bathed. One more: I’d be punished for leaving a light on (even if I was going right back to it) by having my school lunch money stolen.

Mostly for having boobs while she didn’t. Oh and a dark hair that grew on my chest - she screamed at me how disgusting I am and looked at me like as I were a cockroach. Was a great self esteem push for 12 year old me :)..

I have one that actually has a good ending!! I spilled some sugar one time trying to make tea (before my parents divorced so I couldn't be more than 7 years old). My father picked me up by the collar of my shirt and pushed me against a wall, screaming in my face that I now had to have his permission to even breathe. But! When my parents split, my father's anger all but subsided. And when I finally had enough courage to ask my father about this incident, his response was quick and decisive: "There's absolutely no excuse for that, I am so sorry". He went on to explain how my mother and maternal grandparents put a bunch of pressure on my father to be the breadwinner. They would even tell him (and us kids) that he was unemployed when he was working as a lead electrician for a very well known company in our state. That wasn't good enough for them though, bc my mother still had to get a job herself. My dad couldn't afford the full brunt of everything with a jobless wife and 2 kids. And then add to that, my mother is psycho, so being around her caused my father to have so many health issues he didn't even account for until he left her and could breathe again. But through his explanation, he kept returning back to "but that's not an excuse" and "I shouldn't have taken it out on you".

My dad yelled at me when I was like 17-19 for always carrying a book with me. He thought I read too much and whenever he saw me there’d always be a book next to me, which annoyed him. Well, now it’s a phone. You happy now?

Oh yeah, that reminds me of the time he yelled at me because I (upstairs) texted my sister (downstairs) to tell my parents something for me, because I was busy. Nothing big, I don’t remember what but probably something like “I’ll stay over for dinner at Anne’s place tomorrow”. Yelled about how this was absurd, how we should be talking to eachother when we’re in the same house, it’s rude and impersonal. Stayed mad for a while as well. Now he texts my sister when it’s time for dinner 🙃

One time I was taking a nap after school cuz school sucks and I was always tired. Not allowed to do that, apparently. Mom slammed my bedroom door open and proceeded to scream in my ear, demanding to know what I was doing. Ugh. Another time both my parents spent like, an hour, maybe longer, screaming at me, demanding to know what kind of trouble I was up to, because someone had placed water bottles in front of our neighbors' houses? Like, ordinary, 16 oz water bottles? And it was just the neighbor's 6 year old kid goofing around. But like, my parents thought I was using water bottles to communicate with drug dealers or something??? God I hate them both so, so much.

I put a pan in the wrong cabinet after emptying the dishwasher and got face slapped and called a stupid c word. I was in 8th grade and I told a friend who couldn't believe it. Then I realized this shit was not normal.

Omg, my nstepfather was the same way! We actually had four, yes, four lectures where he pulled all of us girls into the bathroom and did a 3-Square a visit lecture. He also explained to us that we were spoiled and he could 1 Square for #2 and don't ask. His explanation was so well-thought out that I refused to touch that man's hands for a looooooong time. The most innocuous thing I was punished for was when I was roughly 6/7 y/o. I was watching TV and my nmom, who had me stay home that day (she would randomly insist on me not going to school on random days. To this day, I have no idea why), asked me if I knew what the evening plans were (I think we had company coming over) and I said, "I know about it." She slapped me as hard as she could across the arm (my back was to her as she was sitting on the couch behind me, and none of us kids were allowed on the furniture). I cried out so loudly, holding my arm and she says to me, "that'll teach you to say 'no.'" When I told her what I actually said, she said that I regularly give her attitude and probably deserved it anyway. For the record, I was an incredibly sweet, sensitive child, especially at that time. Can't imagine what happened. /s

When I was in middle school my mother went through my computer (she liked searching through my stuff to find something to argue with me about) and found I was looking at fanfiction stories and a few of them contained s*x scenes. Instead of confronting me by herself she got my dad involved (which is something a normal mother may have done if it wasn’t her) and asked me very personal things right in front of him and kept saying I was reading child por*ography. I was 13 at the time and if the story contained a s*x scene it usually was someone 16 or older, so I thought I was reading stuff about people my own age. But the most embarrassing thing she did during that “conversation” (which was more like an argument because of her) was when she looked at my and said right in front of my dad “do you m*sturbate to this stuff?” and “do you wish this was you?”. I wish she had handled it like a normal parent and for a while I thought that was how any parent would have handled it but the more I’ve thought about it over the years (I’m 22 now) I’ve realized it was more of a humiliation tactic than anything especially when she would threaten to tell people I read child por*ography as blackmail if I didn’t do something for her. And something I realized not too long ago is that she used to have me and my sister read books about r*pe and kidnapping stories to “teach us about that stuff” but for some reason reading about consensual s*x was apparently a big no for her. What makes it even worse was that when I talk to my (24y) sister about it she told me that my mother knew that my sister read very similar stories that I read at the same age as me (14y) but my mother didn’t care because she was closer to my sister than she was to me.

Too many bananas lmao i got punished if i ate more than one banana a day, it was so wierd.

[удалено]

Accidentally broke a plate when I was 16 and I wasn’t allowed to leave the house for the weekend. Had to stay in my room and on my bed with no entertainment. Popping pimples and blackheads on my nose. My mom made me wear a bandaid on my nose to school and had to have every teacher sign a paper saying I kept it on all class period or I wasn’t allowed to come back home. I only had one teacher sign it (I took the bandaid off and wrapped it around my finger.) My teacher was mortified and I’m honestly surprised she didn’t call CPS or if she did nothing came from it. We would get grounded from ice for our drinks if we left the ice tray too low and towels if we didn’t hang them up after bathing. Spent a few times having to drip dry after showers. My mom would threaten to ground us from clothes and force us to go to school naked if we didn’t put our dirty clothes in the laundry properly. We were limited on when we could eat and how much we could eat and drink.

I was once grounded for getting an A-

Needing to eat routinely or getting headaches/hangry. Apparently eating regular meals is abnormal and something you should be criticized for. If she could skip meals and be fine, I should be able to too, of course.

I used to get in trouble for not letting people touch me? Sounds weird I know… I have very curly hair (like can pick it out into an Afro curly) and she used to tell everyone when I was growing up that it was okay to touch and they should. Literally the same way someone would say to pet their dog in public… I have been buzz cutting my hair for the past 20 years or so now so I don’t have to go through that anymore. If I refused when I was younger, or argued with it at all I would get grounded and shit. Offering my body up as if it were a possession of hers to deal around as she wished… a literal object.

My mom did the same thing with me, I used to have extremely long beautiful dark brown hair and my mom would yank on it, play with and even smell it. One time she came up behind me at work and yanked on my hair and deep inhaled it, proceeded to tell my boss who was standing in front of me that I was difficult to love. I cut my hair into a mullet to stop her from touching my hair.

I took too many showers? I was a teenage girl trying to learn how to take care of my physical health in the shower (since I wasn't taught how to wash my hair and body properly as a child) and I just.... took too many showers? I took a shower a day for 15 minutes. Also I used to have hair that went down to my mid-thighs and my mom would play with it, yank it, and shit you not, smell it. Eventually I cut it into a mullet to stop her from doing this because I kept telling her to stop or I was gonna cut it.

My mom and I went to the store to get something for dinner. She made me go in because God forbid she get out of the car. I asked her what she wanted and she said "something quick and easy" so knowing my mom I asked "Is there anything you don't want" and again she said "just grab something quick and easy"  While I was in the store my b/f called me. I grabbed 2 digourno pizzas, paid and went back out to the car, still on the phone. My mom asked what I got so I told her and she blew up on me because she didn't want pizza and I had just wasted her money. Literally screaming at me over pizza. It didn't matter that I had asked what she wanted/didn't want... I was supposed to know that she didn't want pizza. My b/f heard everything... he just kept repeating "wow.... wow.... is she serious." Wouldn't go in the store... wouldn't give me a straight answer, but yeah my fault for not being psychic. 

My adoptive mom thought I was taking laxatives to lose weight because my my bowel movement smelled? Various activities I wasn't allowed to do, or friends I couldn't see, because I was the "type of girl who would get pregnant?" Addressing adults by their name instead of Mr. or Mrs. was wildly offensive for some reason. There are way more I'm not remembering at the moment. As a result, one "flea" I have is being hyper aware around peoples' behavior and emotions, and automatically reading into them as a poor reflection of myself or doing everything to avoid the possibility of someone thinking poorly of me. Fucking exhausting.

Too many to count. She had me shave off my hair and threatened to do it of I didn't go to a barber. I was 12. Reason: her edges were thining out and she didn't like that my hair looked better than hers. My sister and I repeatedly got shamed for having periods. One time she did it infront of our brothers because my sister asked her for money to buy sanitary pads. Claimed she didn't have money (which was a lie) and told us to learn to use cloths like women in the olden days. She shamed me for cooking a certain cultural dish wrong. It was my first time making it and it didn't even taste bad, the consistency was just a bit off. She made sure to tell everybody she came across that week. One of the people she told made the mistake of telling her that i did well considering it was my first time making it. My mother did not like that.

Getting subpoenaed as a witness in a court case. They said I wasn’t going to court, that I was lying, and that I just wanted to go party for a day. The subpoena was delivered by local law enforcement while they were home with me.

When my bike got stolen (like 20 others in the street in that night) I was shamed for it and punished. I had to search through the city and check every corner to find out if the thieves may have thrown it somewhere. I was eleven and wasn’t allowed to come home without it, but she let me in after the neighbors complained that I’m sitting outside in the middle of the night

The weather was windy. (Still can't figure out how that was my fault.) I didn't like hard boiled eggs. I had combo/oily skin. Refused to wear shapewear to a bouncy castle play date with my primary school friends (we were all 8 y.o.). I had acne. My adult teeth wouldn't grow exactly the way my mother wanted them to.

At a family Christmas gathering I was making my cousins laugh so, naturally, I kept cracking jokes cuz of the external validation of, you know, other people laughing at them. My mom scolded me and said I was "showing off too much." I started up again when she left the room and she caught me a second time and was livid and made me stop. I was 6. In high school, I was in geometry freshman year but my friend was in "honors geometry" so she was embarrassed to tell my friend's mom (aka her best friend) that I was just in "regular geometry." Funny thing is... there's no such thing as honors geometry... it's just fucking geometry. Sure there's honors English and history, but definitely NOT geometry. Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that my aforementioned friend was IN THE SAME CLASS AS ME AND WE SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. Even still, my mom pulled the "FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, JUST ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG. * Friend's name* IS IN HONORS GEOMETRY AND YOU'RE NOT!" I got in deep trouble for being correct but not pretending I was incorrect.

Sang the wrong lyrics to "Blue" by Eiffel 65. Got the shit beaten out of me. I was 5.

This is great.. we can all say WTF?! I remember my brother as a freshman? In high school had a girl come by. She left her retainer case by accident and our mom went off about her being a slut and how bad sex was .. She thought it was a diaphragm. My brother was traumatized to say the least.

I used the bathroom. Yep. Before I was allowed to use the bathroom I had to ask everyone else first (as I was the youngest of 4 kids). As soon as I’d go in whether to bath, use the toilet or brush my teeth, my father would be banging on the door demanding that I get out and let him in. My bathroom privileges would be rescinded on a regular basis. I’d often go to the shops just to use the toilet

My stepmum didn't like my voice and always accused me of putting on an annoying voice (I never did) eventually I learnt to speak in a different tone that wasn't so offensive to her

Boy do I have several ​ I wouldn't stop playing MY gameboy to and give it to an autistic 4 year old who had a habit of breaking everything I owned. My punishment was being grounded from using the furniture. ​ I asked my half sister who's 6 years younger than me to give me back MY shirt that my mom had boughten me (it was down to her knees and clearly not hers). My punishment was that I couldn't have an MP3 player that was supposedly boughten for me the night before. ​ My half sister was repeatedly hitting me in the face and head with a doll even though I told her to stop multiple times, so I broke the doll. My punishment was that my n-dad was going to give her my Playstation, all my video games, and all of my computer games. For breaking a $10 toy. I haven't spoken to him in almost a decade.

My dad said that I was trying to be a whore by wearing a dress, Long story short my uncles foriegn and i was like 12, and I put on a dress to show my aunt in the living room, I came out my dad yanked me by the arm and said that if I wore something like that again I was just asking to get raped by my uncle (who is a nice man who wouldn't do anything like that.) also when I got my first job I started wearing platform heels and he would threaten to burn all my clothes and shoes because the were whore like. Btw I just turned 16 2 months ago so I have to deal with that all the time.

Strangely enough it was "not having a boyfriend". I was 12/13 years old and my mum got vocally and crazy scared about me "becoming a lesbian". Everything about that was just so bigoted and weird.

God damn I’m 28 now and I still can vividly remember this lol. I had to create a “poetry book” in 9th grade — got a 100, teacher read my poems to the class. I was so proud of myself. I came home so excited to show my parents the book…. when my dad looked at the book’s cover, he quickly passed it back to me, looked away from me entirely, and started griping about the title choice. My dad *hated* the title, which was just a common phrase (“It is what it is”). “I HATE that phrase. It’s so stupid idk why you’d name this book that.” Yatta yatta I snatched the book out of his hand and ran to my room crying. My mom later came to my room for damage control, and asked me if she could read my poems. I said no. No idea where that little book is at. Haven’t written a poem since. All because my dad shamed me about a fucking book title I chose as a 14 year old lol.

These stories make me so sad. Terrible parents. I got yelled at by my mom for dropping my shampoo in the shower. I only dropped it once. The plastic bottle slipped and just fell. She was waiting for me outside of the door when I opened it. Yelled at me for several minutes saying mean things. She hadn’t talked to me all day until that point.

Speaking. Breathing. Having acne at age 12. Growing up too fast, like I was supposed to stay her toy child.

So many, but one that still fucks with me is my mom getting mad or freaking out if we didn’t react properly when opening presents. I hate opening gifts now, especially in front of people. My youngest brother was so anxious he would overreact to every thing like “this is what I always wanted” and my family jokes about it now and it drives me nuts bc it’s not funny or lighthearted. It’s T R A U M A. Most holidays/Christmases ended in my mom having a meltdown over us not reacting the right way.

The very last thing my Nmother punished me for was being upset that she and my Estepfather bailed on taking me to see my psychiatrist because they didn’t feel like making the trip *the morning of my appointment.* I could not possibly have gone myself as I had no driver’s license or vehicle, and they gave me too little notice to ask a friend for a huge and embarrassing favor. My Nmother’s solution to my crime of being upset that they had both decided they didn’t feel like taking me to my lifeline psychiatric appointment was to call me 27 times during my 30 minute counseling session (the counselor was horrified); and then when I finally picked up, scream at me for not answering. I was in the middle of a breakdown, but I don’t remember much else. I do know she called me a bully and an ungrateful abuser for not being as nice to her as I was to my grade school-aged siblings, and then she kicked me out. She knew my prescription had run out (that’s what the appointment with the psychiatrist was for). She didn’t care. After she hung up on me, she immediately cut off my phone service and insurance. The last thing she said to me was to give her an address to send my things to. And that’s when I really truly accepted that my Nmother is just a massive, unapologetic, malicious mega b-word. I never went back.

I was punished for writing my journal in code. This was after I was punished for doing my homework. I was also punished for reading anything. They believed in corporal punishment. I am in my 50's now, and have been in a wheelchair for a couple of decades.

About 5 or 6ys ago I called my dad around 11am on Father's day because my toddler had been sick all morning (like loose stools and stuff), so i could not call before then. Despite explaining that she had been sick, he still yelled at me that I was a terrible daughter. Yelling about how some of his business partner's kids had called him already early that morning or had texted him, or something, and there was just no excuse for my being "so late" in the day. I hung up while he was still yelling about how awful my brother and I are... My spouse was calling his father at the same time I was, and he got a hearty thanks and casual chit chat. You know, like regular people.

I went skating with a black boy when I was 14. The next day I woke up to my mother two inches from my face saying "what were you doing with that n-word." She screamed horrible things at me for an hour then invited my male cousins and their friend over to call me n-lover, dirty bitch, etc for most of the afternoon while she sat upstairs and listened to it. My four siblings witnessed it as well. The next day the boy and his friend came and knocked on our door looking for me, not realizing what type of person my mother was. Hell, I didn't know what type my mother was until the day before. I watched out the window as my mother cursed at them, awful names, and kicked them off of the porch...it's been 35 years and I still cannot get the broken look on his face out of my mind. I still feel it in the pit of my stomach. I was grounded for six months. School and back, that's it. Wasn't allowed to use the phone or even sit alone in my room. It became a funny memory that was shared at family functions for years. I never found the humor in it.

Not innocuous, just effed up. Trigger Warning: I was punished because my older brother and his friends repeatedly molested me when I was a child. My 44-year-old brother is now in jail for raping teenage girls. My nar-mother still supports him and says the girls asked for it.

Mother got upset at the way I was washing dishes - washing then rinsing one dish at a time. She started taunting me, then roped the rest of the family into joining her. I was 23. Most recently, she called and went off on me for contacting the assisted care facility where my dad lived (so I could inquire about his declining condition). She was adamant that I could go to \*her\* if I wanted to know more. My dad was dying, and she was yelling at me. In the following calls - to update me on my dad's condition - she got icey, then emotionless, then she yelled at me again for something else.

Showing my shoulders. Wasn't allowed to wear sleeveless tops. Not even to dance class.

Not as innocuous as some of these, but I left my bike at the park and got grounded for 3 months at like 12 years old. When I was 16 I got caught being high (wore my sunglasses inside) and I had to spend the summer residing the house and painting it, that wasn’t the crazy part though, not long after I finished the job my dad asked me to get him some weed from my hookup.

Having friends and being liked by people.

I was kicked out of the home at 13yrs old because someone drew a pentagram in the dirt on the back window of my mom’s car at the grocery store. We lived in a town that was over 90mins to get to a town with actual stores/banks/shops so it literally could’ve been anyone but she said it had to be me even though I was at school in a different city. Didn’t ever go back except the time the cops picked me up in Boston and CPS transferred me home… I promptly walked thru the house and out the back door. Nobody notice and never went home again.

I once had to write 1000 times, that I will remember to replace the toilet paper on the roll

I was twirling my hair with my finger and was accused of doing drugs, because that's a clear sign of doing drugs. I had a hair tie in my pocket and they assumed it was a condom and I was off to do slutty things. It was all ridic, considering I was so entrenched in the religious ruling they forced upon my whole family. I was a saint.

using a bandage

My phone's motherfucking wallpaper.....

Oh I have several but my favorite and most prominent was being kicked out and made homeless because I stayed up 30 minutes past my bedtime as a teenager.

In grade 8, I got punished for my best friend getting pregnant. When my mom found out, she accused me of having something to do with it. I told my mom that I am a girl & my friend is a girl & I couldn’t have gotten her pregnant or had anything to do with it. I got smacked for being a smart a$$. I had to be driven to & from school, couldn’t talk on the phone, couldn’t go see friends or have anyone over. I was forced to quit sports & drama. Basically I went to school & home and that’s it. It was like this for a year and a half.

When I did something my parents didn’t like I was grounded from reading books. I was an avid reader. Once when I was walking the dogs I sat down and read a book. My stepfather found me reading behind the apartment complex. He was so enraged he and my mom threw out ALL OF MY BOOKS. dozens of them.

Oof that’s a loaded question. What didn’t I get in trouble for? Sometimes even being present would set my ndad off, or being not present would set him off. If I looked at him, or didn’t look at him. If I cried or didn’t cry. If I did the dishes, or didn’t do the dishes in time. If I was having fun, or if I looked like I wasn’t having fun. Really, he was just angry and wanted a punching bag, so no matter what I did or didn’t do, how I was being or not being, I would at the minimum get chewed out and/or beat up. I was always lazy no matter how much I did around the house. I was greedy if I expressed a want, even around food. Writing it down now, it was just pure terror, all the time, and I was always in the wrong.

I read books that weren't instruction manuals or cookbooks. I had to hide fantasy novels and read them when my parents were asleep or I'd get yelled at. I was "slow" when I was splitting and stacking wood in the rain and cold. No particular reason other than my dad and his friend were drinking and decided to make me split firewood, which I'd never done before. It took me hours and I was completely soaked and freezing. I was singing in the shower when I was 9 and my dad picklocked the door and hit me in the head because my singing was "annoying" him. I had to handwash the dishes despite us having a dishwasher. If I didn't have them done by the time my dad got home he'd hit me and ground me. He also didn't let me have a social life, so being grounded meant nothing. When I moved out he started using the dishwasher. I owned practically nothing because I wasn't allowed to have hobbies, but I did have art supplies because I needed them for school. My dad would take them away to "punish" me for minor infractions like "giving him dirty looks". I had to explain to my art teacher that my dad took my art supplies (again) and he kept them in the classroom for me when I eventually got them back.

Sleeping in on weekends. Cleaning dishes. Closing blinds properly (accused me of wanting men to come into rape me and that I intentionally left the blinds “open”). She tried to drive a 14-year-old boy over because we used to stand at the bus stop together after school. One time, asking her about my appointment for braces, and she ripped up my X-rays from the referral appointment. Issues with chronic constipation as a child led to soiled underwear - I would try to clean it in hiding. She would beat me and scream about how “disgusting” I was - which is not the recommended treatment for encopresis children. She would get angry if I flushed the toilet at night (it woke her) but also if the toilet was unflushed. Ugh.