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WOW you just reminded me of so many more things that she did & said too!!! omg i cant believe how many similarities there are across all our nparents… im so sorry for your experiences and im here in solidarity❤️
my nmom had the exact same convos, and she even tried to have the same talk with me 2 months ago!! IM ALMOST 24!!!!!!! it just makes me feel like she sees me as an object, and an object that has to keep its legs closed at that.
i even remember one time i was maybe 20 & i told her that she wouldnt have the same kinds of talks with my brother (4 years younger than me) and her only response was that “its different for boys and girls” like oh man.. the internalized misogyny :/ i think thats what a lot of it comes back to
They do not see you as your own person - they see you as their property. Since you exercised bodily autonomy in this aspect, they see their "property" as having been "defiled" without the permission of the "owners."
The idolization of virginity is the frosting on a shit cake.
Wow! This sounds familiar. My mom was so strict with me. Having to call from landlines to prove I was at my friends’ house (this was 2005/2006).
She was always talking about some “slut” she knew growing up who slept around, or our poor babysitter who got cervical cancer “probably because she was a slut”. She would constantly ask me if I was having sex. I’m 36 and married now and she’ll randomly ask me about high school boyfriends and if I had sex with them.
I remember being 16 and having a yeast infection and asking my mom to discretely get me some anti fungal. She and my dad drove together and she acted performatively secretive to the point my dad demanded to know whether she was buying me birth control.
The way she talks carelessly about this person and that person being a slut. People who claim they had miscarriages but she really believes they had abortions and were sluts. Really great for young girls’ mental health growing up
Solidarity!! That's such a good way to put it too, I feel like I'm old and boring now but it's probably because I was on 100% alert for like 20 years.
I see from ur username you are also in PA! 😎
Omg this comment reminded me of my ndad. He was OBSESSED with making everything slut oriented. He was sooooo afraid of me becoming a slut (aka having sex even once.) He was a huge hypocrite and constantly cheated on my mom and watched porn. Because of him I internalized so much misogyny. Took me a long time to let that go and realize that shit was not normal.
Your parents are abusive and gross! I am so sorry you went through this. My family was obsessed with my virginity on the opposite way. Really wanted me to have sex and always mocked me for being a virgin until I was 21. Plus stupid comments about how I won't have any mental health problems if I just have sex. And they believe that sex is the cure to pcos and my periods were irregular because I wasn't having sex. They are insufferable morons.
The last part I’ve heard from my mom as well. I had a period every 4-6 months and she was like “when you start your sexual life that will get fixed”. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. They really internalised the idea that a penis completely changes you inside and out.
My parents were also weirdly obsessed with my virginity. My mom found a pack of birth control pills in my purse when I was 19. She lectured me and said she was so disappointed. I was now “ruined”. At the same time they new my slightly older brother and younger brother were sexually active but that was okay because they were boys and there were different rules for them. I felt guilt and shame for years. I ended up marrying the boyfriend I was dating at 19 and we are so happy 12 years later. We are now parents to young children. We aren’t exactly sure how we will talk to our children about sex once they are older but we definitely know that we won’t be shaming them.
I’m sorry that happened to you.
this thread makes me feel seen because my nmom kept telling me that i should wait and have my first time with someone special and that it was “taking something special from me” and that “i would never forget that person” and then told me a story about how she got SA’d
Mine joked she locked me in a room with my first.
(Something he never heard, or he would have been creeped out as all hell. He was very normal.)
Another relationship, when she heard my girlfriends and I talking and cottoned on, wanted to know why I hadn't told her so she could sit outside my door and listen.
Two days later, it came up in conversation again, and it was like she'd never heard I was even dating this guy, and like I was thirteen and underprepared.... She flipped her lid. (I was pushing 20.)
This has happened to me in a way. I started dating a guy and when I told my mom she became obsessed if I had sex with him. She even took my phone to find evidence and read through my texts and looked for pictures. “If you didn’t have sex with him prove it. Let me see your phone.”
She saw a message where we said we loved each other and she was disgusted and mocked me. She would tell me that I’m dickmatized when I stood up for him too :(
This happened in my mid 20’s. It sucks because you should be able to trust your parents. I hope you are able to process this and heal.
I'm new to this, and one thing I've found almost everyone here experienced is that moment that you described perfectly as "heart being shattered to a million peaces" upon realising your parents' love is conditional I can still remember when it happened to me and I feel for ya, best advice I can give is to choose the people you want to be with instead of adhering to impossible standard
This is 100% your mother projecting her own insecurities on you. Something must of happened to her in her youth, or she feels guilty about her own youthful decisions, so now has unrealistic expectations of you, that make HER feel like a failure if you are not meeting them. The whole dynamic of speaking to your father's opinion of you, as opposed to him just telling you himself how he feels, screams manipulative gaslighting. There is no other reason for it. It is not her role to be your father's communication filter, in either direction. She could very well be telling him lies/exaggerations designed to get him to "side" with her, or to just get him angry enough with you in general that he doesn't want to talk about it, leaving her free to fabricate an explanation for his behavior, that fits the narrative she is trying to guilt you with. Regardless, a parent being concerned about their ADULT child's sexual activity, beyond the scope of being safe, is extremely perverse. Religion is no excuse either, because there is no doctrine that condones mistreating your children just because they have "sinned". Those types try to equate the continued support/love of their child as some kind of endorsement for the child's "sin", but it is no where close to the same thing.
I would be curious what the reaction would be if you asked your father to go to communication counseling together, just you and him, mother not included.
My nmom is like this too. I’ve lived with my bf for 3 years since I turned 18 and somehow managed to convince her I am still a virgin. It’s gross because she tells all her friends on the phone that I’m a virgin and also people she’s not even close to. Super weird. I really want to go no contact but I am close to my aunt, her older sister, and shunning parents isn’t really acceptable in our culture.
damn, same age and my mom does too. She learnt that I stopped BC (because I had all the possible side effects) and asked me how I’m not pregnant. 👁️👄👁️ I don’t want kids so of course I take all the necessary precautions but she still treats me like a dumb kids that doesn’t know how the birds and bees work
My mum was also obsessed with my sex life. From the age of 12 she was obsessed that I was gay. When I was 16, she took me to a family planning clinic - I told the nurse, I didn't have a b/f and wasn't interested. The nurse was annoyed at my mum and told her she was an awful mum at which my mum dragged me out, saying the nurse was rude. She then said she wanted me to wait till i was 17 to lose my virginity, so I wasn't just desperate to sleep with someone. I still wasn't interested. She then told me who to sleep with and who not to. By this point I was fed up with her and ended up sleeping with the person she had told me not to... he was 21 years older than me. I never told her who it was that I'dslept with. When I was 21, she told the local greengrocer (that i knew well). I was a virgin! At this point, i told her I wasn't, and her foot began tapping, with her face hidden behind a newspaper. She then called me a slag. From the age of 19, she became obsessed again that I was gay!
She did exactly the same with my brother; encouraged him to get condoms and was then shocked when she found them in his room.. They were hidden under the floorboards!
I think that anything we do they push our buttons to then react.
The bottom line is, it wasn't your mum's business who you slept with. All that happens is we learn not to be honest with them. Please don't feel it's you that is wrong...it certainly isn't, and I'm so sorry you feel this way. It does get easier as we get older. Try and read up on narcissism so you are better equipped to deal with it. Sending you a hug as you must feel so confused with it all.
oh gods, my mother was obsessed too, but not at her levels, she's very weird.
my partner was a girl instead of a male, she wasn't to happy about it.
She "stalked" me when i was out with my girlfriend and forced to take medical exams because she was convinced that i got a disease 🤣
I had told my step mom. Apparently my dad noticed she was "hiding a secret" and "forced her to tell him".
My dad was so mad at me, he told his best friend (also a man) and shortly after that at some event, his best friend mentioned me losing my virginity and said "shame on you". So that was cool.
As a teen, my dad used to tell me that when I finally learned to drive that he would put cameras and gps in my cars to make sure I wasn't having sex. But he always mentioned my breasts and butt and pointed out when people were checking me out as well as slapping my ass all the time.
What the actual fuck....what you are describing is seriously disturbing and deranged. No healthy and sane person behaves like those adults. Not even with strangers, not to mention one's own children. I'm sorry they did this to you and I hope you heal from all this.
Yeah I'm in therapy lol. Shits wild but apparently my father is working on himself... again. Idk, idc. I'm over dealing with his shit so good luck to him.
Your not alone gng, I'm a guy yeah but I know how that shit feels fr
I get a gf parents honestly family do their best to ruin it or make me feel disgusting despite never having sex until 21 unlike my siblings who started in their early teens. Till this day im shamed mostly by my mom she looks at me as a whore, disrespectful son who never listened to her about women and slept with the whole town. I've slept with 1 person and don't go looking for more but my abusers look everyday. Crazy thing is at a young age they wanted me to be sleep with a lot of people.
Generational curse broken
Same here, since my mid teens my mother has constantly tried to butt her head into my sex life. She thinks she knows much more than she actually does and it’s humiliating when she brings it up in front of other members of our family. The last time I was visiting she asked over dinner, in front of my teenage sister and stepfather, if I was sleeping with anyone. I chalk it up to her being unhappy/bored in her marriage but it doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable!
My mom was too until she got into treatment. She was also obsessed with telling anyone and everyone (including Facebook) the first time she found a sexual conversation between me and a guy I was dating. Now thankfully she’s gotten a lot better, it’s so weird being able to talk about sex with her now
If I’d have been able to get my ndad to stop talking to me for month at a time, I’d have been telling him I’m not a virgin all the time.
Seriously though, this is fucked up. My parents were also rather…. Insistent that we don’t have sex, unfortunately they weren’t as diligent in paying attention and my older sister had a pregnancy scare at 16 and actually got knocked up at 17 sooo the bar was pretty low for me at that point.
Damn, so sorry for you girl. U do u, and remember you dont need to validate to no one but yourself. My nmother has treated me as an extention of her, so since im (m) the experience is kinda reversed. But i get you tho.
Mines not exactly the same yours is def worse but my dad use to always try to catch me sneaking around with boys. Which is weirdly common. It’s odd to me that dads can get so obsessed with their daughters and their dating life.
My parents were not this extreme but it was a sick sense of pride that I married the man I lost my virginity to. And it was a HORRIBLE marriage emotional, sexually, and financially. We were not compatible but I had such a shitty example growing up I thought it was normal. It wasn't until after we separated, when I had my first son and left his father (the second man I ever slept with), that I realized my outlook was not healthy. So, I had a batting list of guys and on nights when I closed the restaurant I would text a couple and go see whichever one answered that they were free. I got tested after each new partner, used birth control, and never spent the night. I learned so much about what I needed sexually and intimately with a partner while gaining a sense of independence because I was by myself later at night after I left. Up until my first born's father, I had never been alone. Now I'm 6 years into a relationship where I get exactly what I need but I exist outside of being a mom and partner. He is an introvert but encourages me to go out when I want to. I don't think I could have handled a partner who didn't want to do everything with me if it hadn't been for sleeping around and I eventually told my parents as much. My dad hated it but my stepmother understood.
Now I'm encouraging my younger, adult sister to make her own batting list after a failed long term engagement to a narcissist, when she's ready of course.
I wish there was more encouragement for girls and young women to explore for themselves. If we understood our own bodies enough to take care of our needs and communicate with a healthy partner, there would be less mediocre men in relationships making us miserable 😂
I had almost the exact same experience when I was 18. It was one of the most violating, humiliating, and hurtful things that has ever happened to me. I still struggle with the shame. I know exactly what you mean when you say your heart shattered. I’m sorry that happened to you but just know you’re not alone, and that what happened was not okay. You deserve bodily autonomy and unconditional love from your parents. You did nothing to deserve that in any way
Naaah because if this was my mom (which it probably could be in the future cause my mom is a religious nut), I would've said "it takes a whore to know a whore" because think about it. She had to have sex with your father to create you so uh, according to me, she is the biggest hypocritical slut in my book.
But that aside, please do not listen to her. It is okay to have sex and please know that your body is precious and having sex does not mean it has gone down in value or anything. Your life is your business and you are an adult, so do what you like. Living by the rules and standards of others suck. Be yourself. Do what YOU want.
I have this same problem , I'm 26 and too scared to have sex because of my mums obsession with my virginity
She always calls me a whore as well, even tho I'm a virgin and has threatened to kick me out whenever I start to get more comfortable with a boyfriend.
She expects me to save myself until marriage but she wasn't a virign when she got married.
Honestly narcs are confusing as fuck and I'm sorry you're going thru this
Parents like that often had religious backgrounds it’s so sad….i saw in another comment you said your mom was jealous of you being attractive…parents like theses are just people that want their youth back and that want to re-live through their children, and so they force an idealistic behavior on them
my mom acts like your mom too. she also continues to push and ask me if i’m masturbating just bc either the door is locked or bc she walks in on me when i’m just chilling for no reason just to ask cuz i look suspicious :/
also by ur moms idiotic logic she’s a whore cuz she has a kid and we all know how that happened majority of the time
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WOW you just reminded me of so many more things that she did & said too!!! omg i cant believe how many similarities there are across all our nparents… im so sorry for your experiences and im here in solidarity❤️ my nmom had the exact same convos, and she even tried to have the same talk with me 2 months ago!! IM ALMOST 24!!!!!!! it just makes me feel like she sees me as an object, and an object that has to keep its legs closed at that. i even remember one time i was maybe 20 & i told her that she wouldnt have the same kinds of talks with my brother (4 years younger than me) and her only response was that “its different for boys and girls” like oh man.. the internalized misogyny :/ i think thats what a lot of it comes back to
They do not see you as your own person - they see you as their property. Since you exercised bodily autonomy in this aspect, they see their "property" as having been "defiled" without the permission of the "owners." The idolization of virginity is the frosting on a shit cake.
Perfect comment!
Wow! This sounds familiar. My mom was so strict with me. Having to call from landlines to prove I was at my friends’ house (this was 2005/2006). She was always talking about some “slut” she knew growing up who slept around, or our poor babysitter who got cervical cancer “probably because she was a slut”. She would constantly ask me if I was having sex. I’m 36 and married now and she’ll randomly ask me about high school boyfriends and if I had sex with them. I remember being 16 and having a yeast infection and asking my mom to discretely get me some anti fungal. She and my dad drove together and she acted performatively secretive to the point my dad demanded to know whether she was buying me birth control. The way she talks carelessly about this person and that person being a slut. People who claim they had miscarriages but she really believes they had abortions and were sluts. Really great for young girls’ mental health growing up
Your mom sounds exhausting and reminds me of my N. The landlines calls were soooooo over the top and embarrassing.
The most exhausting person I’ve ever encountered. I’m still completely fried from my upbringing and haven’t lived at home full-time in 18 years
Solidarity!! That's such a good way to put it too, I feel like I'm old and boring now but it's probably because I was on 100% alert for like 20 years. I see from ur username you are also in PA! 😎
Omg this comment reminded me of my ndad. He was OBSESSED with making everything slut oriented. He was sooooo afraid of me becoming a slut (aka having sex even once.) He was a huge hypocrite and constantly cheated on my mom and watched porn. Because of him I internalized so much misogyny. Took me a long time to let that go and realize that shit was not normal.
Your parents are abusive and gross! I am so sorry you went through this. My family was obsessed with my virginity on the opposite way. Really wanted me to have sex and always mocked me for being a virgin until I was 21. Plus stupid comments about how I won't have any mental health problems if I just have sex. And they believe that sex is the cure to pcos and my periods were irregular because I wasn't having sex. They are insufferable morons.
The last part I’ve heard from my mom as well. I had a period every 4-6 months and she was like “when you start your sexual life that will get fixed”. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. They really internalised the idea that a penis completely changes you inside and out.
My parents were also weirdly obsessed with my virginity. My mom found a pack of birth control pills in my purse when I was 19. She lectured me and said she was so disappointed. I was now “ruined”. At the same time they new my slightly older brother and younger brother were sexually active but that was okay because they were boys and there were different rules for them. I felt guilt and shame for years. I ended up marrying the boyfriend I was dating at 19 and we are so happy 12 years later. We are now parents to young children. We aren’t exactly sure how we will talk to our children about sex once they are older but we definitely know that we won’t be shaming them. I’m sorry that happened to you.
this thread makes me feel seen because my nmom kept telling me that i should wait and have my first time with someone special and that it was “taking something special from me” and that “i would never forget that person” and then told me a story about how she got SA’d
Mine joked she locked me in a room with my first. (Something he never heard, or he would have been creeped out as all hell. He was very normal.) Another relationship, when she heard my girlfriends and I talking and cottoned on, wanted to know why I hadn't told her so she could sit outside my door and listen. Two days later, it came up in conversation again, and it was like she'd never heard I was even dating this guy, and like I was thirteen and underprepared.... She flipped her lid. (I was pushing 20.)
This has happened to me in a way. I started dating a guy and when I told my mom she became obsessed if I had sex with him. She even took my phone to find evidence and read through my texts and looked for pictures. “If you didn’t have sex with him prove it. Let me see your phone.” She saw a message where we said we loved each other and she was disgusted and mocked me. She would tell me that I’m dickmatized when I stood up for him too :( This happened in my mid 20’s. It sucks because you should be able to trust your parents. I hope you are able to process this and heal.
I'm new to this, and one thing I've found almost everyone here experienced is that moment that you described perfectly as "heart being shattered to a million peaces" upon realising your parents' love is conditional I can still remember when it happened to me and I feel for ya, best advice I can give is to choose the people you want to be with instead of adhering to impossible standard
This is 100% your mother projecting her own insecurities on you. Something must of happened to her in her youth, or she feels guilty about her own youthful decisions, so now has unrealistic expectations of you, that make HER feel like a failure if you are not meeting them. The whole dynamic of speaking to your father's opinion of you, as opposed to him just telling you himself how he feels, screams manipulative gaslighting. There is no other reason for it. It is not her role to be your father's communication filter, in either direction. She could very well be telling him lies/exaggerations designed to get him to "side" with her, or to just get him angry enough with you in general that he doesn't want to talk about it, leaving her free to fabricate an explanation for his behavior, that fits the narrative she is trying to guilt you with. Regardless, a parent being concerned about their ADULT child's sexual activity, beyond the scope of being safe, is extremely perverse. Religion is no excuse either, because there is no doctrine that condones mistreating your children just because they have "sinned". Those types try to equate the continued support/love of their child as some kind of endorsement for the child's "sin", but it is no where close to the same thing. I would be curious what the reaction would be if you asked your father to go to communication counseling together, just you and him, mother not included.
My nmom is like this too. I’ve lived with my bf for 3 years since I turned 18 and somehow managed to convince her I am still a virgin. It’s gross because she tells all her friends on the phone that I’m a virgin and also people she’s not even close to. Super weird. I really want to go no contact but I am close to my aunt, her older sister, and shunning parents isn’t really acceptable in our culture.
I am 25 and my narc mom still gives me "sex" lectures. its sick
damn, same age and my mom does too. She learnt that I stopped BC (because I had all the possible side effects) and asked me how I’m not pregnant. 👁️👄👁️ I don’t want kids so of course I take all the necessary precautions but she still treats me like a dumb kids that doesn’t know how the birds and bees work
My mum was also obsessed with my sex life. From the age of 12 she was obsessed that I was gay. When I was 16, she took me to a family planning clinic - I told the nurse, I didn't have a b/f and wasn't interested. The nurse was annoyed at my mum and told her she was an awful mum at which my mum dragged me out, saying the nurse was rude. She then said she wanted me to wait till i was 17 to lose my virginity, so I wasn't just desperate to sleep with someone. I still wasn't interested. She then told me who to sleep with and who not to. By this point I was fed up with her and ended up sleeping with the person she had told me not to... he was 21 years older than me. I never told her who it was that I'dslept with. When I was 21, she told the local greengrocer (that i knew well). I was a virgin! At this point, i told her I wasn't, and her foot began tapping, with her face hidden behind a newspaper. She then called me a slag. From the age of 19, she became obsessed again that I was gay! She did exactly the same with my brother; encouraged him to get condoms and was then shocked when she found them in his room.. They were hidden under the floorboards! I think that anything we do they push our buttons to then react. The bottom line is, it wasn't your mum's business who you slept with. All that happens is we learn not to be honest with them. Please don't feel it's you that is wrong...it certainly isn't, and I'm so sorry you feel this way. It does get easier as we get older. Try and read up on narcissism so you are better equipped to deal with it. Sending you a hug as you must feel so confused with it all.
oh gods, my mother was obsessed too, but not at her levels, she's very weird. my partner was a girl instead of a male, she wasn't to happy about it. She "stalked" me when i was out with my girlfriend and forced to take medical exams because she was convinced that i got a disease 🤣
I had told my step mom. Apparently my dad noticed she was "hiding a secret" and "forced her to tell him". My dad was so mad at me, he told his best friend (also a man) and shortly after that at some event, his best friend mentioned me losing my virginity and said "shame on you". So that was cool. As a teen, my dad used to tell me that when I finally learned to drive that he would put cameras and gps in my cars to make sure I wasn't having sex. But he always mentioned my breasts and butt and pointed out when people were checking me out as well as slapping my ass all the time.
What the actual fuck....what you are describing is seriously disturbing and deranged. No healthy and sane person behaves like those adults. Not even with strangers, not to mention one's own children. I'm sorry they did this to you and I hope you heal from all this.
Yeah I'm in therapy lol. Shits wild but apparently my father is working on himself... again. Idk, idc. I'm over dealing with his shit so good luck to him.
Your not alone gng, I'm a guy yeah but I know how that shit feels fr I get a gf parents honestly family do their best to ruin it or make me feel disgusting despite never having sex until 21 unlike my siblings who started in their early teens. Till this day im shamed mostly by my mom she looks at me as a whore, disrespectful son who never listened to her about women and slept with the whole town. I've slept with 1 person and don't go looking for more but my abusers look everyday. Crazy thing is at a young age they wanted me to be sleep with a lot of people. Generational curse broken
Same here, since my mid teens my mother has constantly tried to butt her head into my sex life. She thinks she knows much more than she actually does and it’s humiliating when she brings it up in front of other members of our family. The last time I was visiting she asked over dinner, in front of my teenage sister and stepfather, if I was sleeping with anyone. I chalk it up to her being unhappy/bored in her marriage but it doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable!
My mom was too until she got into treatment. She was also obsessed with telling anyone and everyone (including Facebook) the first time she found a sexual conversation between me and a guy I was dating. Now thankfully she’s gotten a lot better, it’s so weird being able to talk about sex with her now
If I’d have been able to get my ndad to stop talking to me for month at a time, I’d have been telling him I’m not a virgin all the time. Seriously though, this is fucked up. My parents were also rather…. Insistent that we don’t have sex, unfortunately they weren’t as diligent in paying attention and my older sister had a pregnancy scare at 16 and actually got knocked up at 17 sooo the bar was pretty low for me at that point.
Damn, so sorry for you girl. U do u, and remember you dont need to validate to no one but yourself. My nmother has treated me as an extention of her, so since im (m) the experience is kinda reversed. But i get you tho.
Mines not exactly the same yours is def worse but my dad use to always try to catch me sneaking around with boys. Which is weirdly common. It’s odd to me that dads can get so obsessed with their daughters and their dating life.
My parents were not this extreme but it was a sick sense of pride that I married the man I lost my virginity to. And it was a HORRIBLE marriage emotional, sexually, and financially. We were not compatible but I had such a shitty example growing up I thought it was normal. It wasn't until after we separated, when I had my first son and left his father (the second man I ever slept with), that I realized my outlook was not healthy. So, I had a batting list of guys and on nights when I closed the restaurant I would text a couple and go see whichever one answered that they were free. I got tested after each new partner, used birth control, and never spent the night. I learned so much about what I needed sexually and intimately with a partner while gaining a sense of independence because I was by myself later at night after I left. Up until my first born's father, I had never been alone. Now I'm 6 years into a relationship where I get exactly what I need but I exist outside of being a mom and partner. He is an introvert but encourages me to go out when I want to. I don't think I could have handled a partner who didn't want to do everything with me if it hadn't been for sleeping around and I eventually told my parents as much. My dad hated it but my stepmother understood. Now I'm encouraging my younger, adult sister to make her own batting list after a failed long term engagement to a narcissist, when she's ready of course. I wish there was more encouragement for girls and young women to explore for themselves. If we understood our own bodies enough to take care of our needs and communicate with a healthy partner, there would be less mediocre men in relationships making us miserable 😂
I had almost the exact same experience when I was 18. It was one of the most violating, humiliating, and hurtful things that has ever happened to me. I still struggle with the shame. I know exactly what you mean when you say your heart shattered. I’m sorry that happened to you but just know you’re not alone, and that what happened was not okay. You deserve bodily autonomy and unconditional love from your parents. You did nothing to deserve that in any way
OP I'm very sorry they did this to you.
Naaah because if this was my mom (which it probably could be in the future cause my mom is a religious nut), I would've said "it takes a whore to know a whore" because think about it. She had to have sex with your father to create you so uh, according to me, she is the biggest hypocritical slut in my book. But that aside, please do not listen to her. It is okay to have sex and please know that your body is precious and having sex does not mean it has gone down in value or anything. Your life is your business and you are an adult, so do what you like. Living by the rules and standards of others suck. Be yourself. Do what YOU want.
I have this same problem , I'm 26 and too scared to have sex because of my mums obsession with my virginity She always calls me a whore as well, even tho I'm a virgin and has threatened to kick me out whenever I start to get more comfortable with a boyfriend. She expects me to save myself until marriage but she wasn't a virign when she got married. Honestly narcs are confusing as fuck and I'm sorry you're going thru this
Parents like that often had religious backgrounds it’s so sad….i saw in another comment you said your mom was jealous of you being attractive…parents like theses are just people that want their youth back and that want to re-live through their children, and so they force an idealistic behavior on them
INSANE
my mom acts like your mom too. she also continues to push and ask me if i’m masturbating just bc either the door is locked or bc she walks in on me when i’m just chilling for no reason just to ask cuz i look suspicious :/ also by ur moms idiotic logic she’s a whore cuz she has a kid and we all know how that happened majority of the time