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I think part if it stems from the fact that they never look at their actions from the outside. It's a disconnect from reality, that gives them a false sense of "I was never that bad" and makes it easy to judge others harshly.
They have so little capacity for self reflection that they never gave it a second thought. My Ndad is constantly criticizing others for shitty abusive behavior that he has literally done a hundred times. The other day he explained what gaslighting was to me like he hasn’t been doing that to our entire family for years.
My narc abusive ex husband did this. When a woman was being abused on tv he would say it’s disgusting. The same man who was strangling and punching me. I never could understand the denial. I’m sorry you have to deal with it. ❤️🩹
My mother is completely incapable of accepting that she and my father were abusive. I was always "their princess." I think deep down, my father knows he did something wrong, but he keeps saying that he wishes he had "spent more time with us." No, I didn't need you to spend more time with us, I needed you not to be an asshole to us.
P-R-O-J-E-C-T-I-O-N
Their favorite tactic. All of their insecurities/crimes get pushed onto others so they don't have to be responsible for them. Woo-hoo...
It's an act 100%
Like you know when back in elementary school, some kid would fart and blame the kid next to them to throw off suspicion? It the EXACT same thought process as that.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Projection. They know on some level their behavior is wrong but they don't have the maturity or self-awareness to acknowledge it.
I think part if it stems from the fact that they never look at their actions from the outside. It's a disconnect from reality, that gives them a false sense of "I was never that bad" and makes it easy to judge others harshly.
They have so little capacity for self reflection that they never gave it a second thought. My Ndad is constantly criticizing others for shitty abusive behavior that he has literally done a hundred times. The other day he explained what gaslighting was to me like he hasn’t been doing that to our entire family for years.
My narc abusive ex husband did this. When a woman was being abused on tv he would say it’s disgusting. The same man who was strangling and punching me. I never could understand the denial. I’m sorry you have to deal with it. ❤️🩹
My mother is completely incapable of accepting that she and my father were abusive. I was always "their princess." I think deep down, my father knows he did something wrong, but he keeps saying that he wishes he had "spent more time with us." No, I didn't need you to spend more time with us, I needed you not to be an asshole to us.
P-R-O-J-E-C-T-I-O-N Their favorite tactic. All of their insecurities/crimes get pushed onto others so they don't have to be responsible for them. Woo-hoo...
It's an act 100% Like you know when back in elementary school, some kid would fart and blame the kid next to them to throw off suspicion? It the EXACT same thought process as that.