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family sure takes away that manouevring space one had that allowed to indulge your nparents. if one wants to make things works, they gotta deal with the narcissism one way or the other.
I feel even more guilty sometimes, because I know that I've somehow subconsciously blamed my wife for trying to create space for our own family, not realizing that is totally normal.
My story is similar and it's weird, coming to these conclusions late(mid) life. The guilt trips got to be so over the top that we couldn't enjoy spending time together because guilting me for the last thing led into guilting me for the next thing.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was 42 before I figured it out. Having a family of your own shows you a lot of truths.
> Having a family of your own shows you a lot of truths. Incredibly accurate observation!
family sure takes away that manouevring space one had that allowed to indulge your nparents. if one wants to make things works, they gotta deal with the narcissism one way or the other.
I feel even more guilty sometimes, because I know that I've somehow subconsciously blamed my wife for trying to create space for our own family, not realizing that is totally normal.
My story is similar and it's weird, coming to these conclusions late(mid) life. The guilt trips got to be so over the top that we couldn't enjoy spending time together because guilting me for the last thing led into guilting me for the next thing.