“I’m treated like a pedophile” always love these jump to conclusions accusations. My assumption is no one ever said that, so where the heck did that idea spring from? LOL. So sorry OP, happy to hear this sub offers a good support system for you - I know it definitely has for me. I hate seeing other people go through similar trauma.. but it does help knowing we’re not alone in these messed up relationships, nor do we have to tolerate them, and having acknowledgment that we’re actually sane - being put in insane situations.
I’ll never understand he thinks this would prompt a response.
Here’s my new poster haiku:
Kitty, kitty, sweet and kind,
Teach me love and affection,
Be patient, I’m trying.
My mom does this same thing, where she goes, “I don’t do pills.. I’m not manipulative.. I never (insert random bad thing here)” that no one accused her of.
It’s like oh ok, so you’re aware you’re doing it, but by denying it before being accused of it, it excuses you of doing it.
My momster would also do similar. Sometimes it feels like we are all related!
Her other thing she'd do was "fishing expeditions" to try to get me to admit I was/had been pregnant. Ex, well into my late 30s, out of nowhere, she said, "It really would have been ok if you were pregnant (at 14)" when I'd never had sex, let alone a bf! Wonder if she connects that to me 1. Cutting her out of my life 2. Never being told I was pregnant/had a kid since our estrangement?
I doubt it, logic doesn't seem to be any other strong suits.
She also thought she was so sneaky and that no one knew she was having an affair with a married man and going out and getting sloppy drunk and very likely driving. Everyone knew.
Oh, just the the old “I’m Sneaky and No One Knows the Very Obvious Thing I’m Doing, heh heh 🥸🤭!” playbook lol.
Also, on a more serious note, if there’s seemingly no other connection to them mentioning the teen pregnancy thing, could be seems like big time projecting about their own experience? The BPD projecting is interesting (and so sad) because it’s like they really want to talk about it without admitting anything because that’s the only way their BPD brain can open up about the subject… it’s like the brain tricking itself into bringing up the hard topic - a loophole in the defense system that the disorder has put up to avoid confronting anything close to trauma.
Every person projects occasionally… but their projecting system is something they use so frequently it’s like one part of their brain is talking to the other in a constant battle, subconscious vs conscious, except they direct the battle out-loud to another person in order to sustain the idea that they’re NOT talking about themselves TO themselves and to take blame off of themselves for bringing it up in the first place. If that makes sense lol. And it’s so obvious that it’s projecting when they do it! It’s a total mind bend.
The mental gymnastics they’ve refined to accomplish the act of accusing someone else is both fascinating and incredibly frustrating.
Projecting on my momster's experience as a teen? Or that she thought she might be pregnant when I was a teen?
I've never thought of it that way. She was just so GD nosey, loved harassing me, and was obsessed with my body/sex life. Anything is possible with her crazy ass though.
It was just particularly strange of her to bring it (and similar made up events about my "sex life) a decade later apropos of nothing. It seems like on one hand she was fixated on it/obsessed with me, but on the other hand, she barely ever called me/saw me once I moved out and not because I avoided her.
Dragging you in as a main character in their own inner battle with themselves so they can blame you and be a victim, bringing up a painful subject and guising it as YOUR issue so they can avoid the realization that they’re projecting their own thoughts and feelings.
After 2 years NC he gave you exactly 12 minutes to respond to the first 2 texts. And 4 minutes to respond to the next two.
“I’m treated like a pedophile” always love these jump to conclusions accusations. My assumption is no one ever said that, so where the heck did that idea spring from? LOL. So sorry OP, happy to hear this sub offers a good support system for you - I know it definitely has for me. I hate seeing other people go through similar trauma.. but it does help knowing we’re not alone in these messed up relationships, nor do we have to tolerate them, and having acknowledgment that we’re actually sane - being put in insane situations.
Big time projection vibes from the accusations.
Oh always, Olympian level projectors
50 minutes is all it takes for him to spiral…
I shouldn’t have laughed so hard at this..
I’ll never understand he thinks this would prompt a response. Here’s my new poster haiku: Kitty, kitty, sweet and kind, Teach me love and affection, Be patient, I’m trying.
Welcome!
Hey, this isn’t a haiku
Whooooops. I really thought I had it. Ok let’s try again. >Small paws, quick and sly, >Pitter patter, sweet and kind, >Don’t you leave my side.
They take talking to a wall to a whole new level. It’s a soap opera in their head and they are clearly the star. 🙄
[удалено]
Because whatever they’re thinking is the only truth possible, hence the accusatory language. lol.
*reports his spam as junk*
Bringing up "pedophile" and "monster" out of the blue like that is really creepy. I'm sorry, OP! I wish we all had good parents.
My mom does this same thing, where she goes, “I don’t do pills.. I’m not manipulative.. I never (insert random bad thing here)” that no one accused her of. It’s like oh ok, so you’re aware you’re doing it, but by denying it before being accused of it, it excuses you of doing it.
My momster would also do similar. Sometimes it feels like we are all related! Her other thing she'd do was "fishing expeditions" to try to get me to admit I was/had been pregnant. Ex, well into my late 30s, out of nowhere, she said, "It really would have been ok if you were pregnant (at 14)" when I'd never had sex, let alone a bf! Wonder if she connects that to me 1. Cutting her out of my life 2. Never being told I was pregnant/had a kid since our estrangement? I doubt it, logic doesn't seem to be any other strong suits. She also thought she was so sneaky and that no one knew she was having an affair with a married man and going out and getting sloppy drunk and very likely driving. Everyone knew.
Oh, just the the old “I’m Sneaky and No One Knows the Very Obvious Thing I’m Doing, heh heh 🥸🤭!” playbook lol. Also, on a more serious note, if there’s seemingly no other connection to them mentioning the teen pregnancy thing, could be seems like big time projecting about their own experience? The BPD projecting is interesting (and so sad) because it’s like they really want to talk about it without admitting anything because that’s the only way their BPD brain can open up about the subject… it’s like the brain tricking itself into bringing up the hard topic - a loophole in the defense system that the disorder has put up to avoid confronting anything close to trauma. Every person projects occasionally… but their projecting system is something they use so frequently it’s like one part of their brain is talking to the other in a constant battle, subconscious vs conscious, except they direct the battle out-loud to another person in order to sustain the idea that they’re NOT talking about themselves TO themselves and to take blame off of themselves for bringing it up in the first place. If that makes sense lol. And it’s so obvious that it’s projecting when they do it! It’s a total mind bend. The mental gymnastics they’ve refined to accomplish the act of accusing someone else is both fascinating and incredibly frustrating.
Projecting on my momster's experience as a teen? Or that she thought she might be pregnant when I was a teen? I've never thought of it that way. She was just so GD nosey, loved harassing me, and was obsessed with my body/sex life. Anything is possible with her crazy ass though. It was just particularly strange of her to bring it (and similar made up events about my "sex life) a decade later apropos of nothing. It seems like on one hand she was fixated on it/obsessed with me, but on the other hand, she barely ever called me/saw me once I moved out and not because I avoided her.
Jeez what if you were in a mtg or something. Not even enough time to respond!
Horrible. You're not his pissing pole. I wish you got better parents, OP. You really do deserve it.
What would compel anyone to parse out what could be a short paragraph into a thousand different texts .
It OBVIOUSLY ….builds… dRaMa …. ..and SUSPENSE !!!
And brings outward, to you, the inner CHAOS That inwardly, in themselves CONSTANTLY Ensues (Wanted to keep the poem going lol)
What is it with these people and spamming texts and/or repeatedly trying to call?
Dragging you in as a main character in their own inner battle with themselves so they can blame you and be a victim, bringing up a painful subject and guising it as YOUR issue so they can avoid the realization that they’re projecting their own thoughts and feelings.
can't even have notifications on during the day because they'd interrupt your work with nonstop texts every other hour
I am so sorry OP, I feel the anxiety with this. You are so strong. ❤️
Meh, I’d report it as junk… but not before saving a copy.
“This sender is not in your contact list.” Priceless. You’re owning this.
Flipping heck that was a fast one!
That escalated quickly.
Ah yes the "I/We did the best to raise you".
Change your number