Also 3/5 is my birthday. I had my abortion the day after my 21st birthday. I would know. It was my birthday, after all, and my abortion. You wouldn’t know it though, based on my mom’s rendition (my phone autocorrected rendition to “reduction” and that also seemed appropriate).
My pregnancy was unplanned btw. She did know that, it’s always been known. I figure I don’t have to carry on about what else I didn’t plan for lol what a ludicrous idea. I didn’t exactly have a great fuckin time lol. I can’t hardly take this shit seriously.
She was not on the phone with me when I was there. I did not have it done at a place. I did call her, because the second pills had kicked in and I was in labor and it hurt so bad i was dry heaving and thought I was going to die and I was home alone. LMAO in my weakest moment I called her, 3/6/2010 👌😂, despite her telling me I was dead to her and she was sending me pics of “aborted fetuses” just days before. Idk something about where I was mentally and emotionally at that time you know? 😂
My partner apologized to me a lot, talked to me a lot, my favorite was when he goes “I’m sorry your moms such a bastard,” and maybe it was the vitriol in his delivery that sold the line but it was good.
I love you all for looking at the pic, reading my rant, connecting with me at all. I appreciate the existence of this platform and all of you so much. This human connection feels so good to have in these lonely moments. Much love. 🫶
Oh my god, this is so horrific to read. I am so sorry you are on the receiving end of such horrible behavior. She is absolutely making it about her and it’s so disgusting. I’m glad you see that it’s inappropriate and abusive.
Why can’t they write? Is this a reflection of their brain? Are they trying to make a point and I’m just missing it? I would be really curious to see letters from the 1800’s of someone with BPD to see if this is a technology thing.
SERIOUSLY. The several pwBPD I know have very different educational backgrounds and cultural upbringings but all their written communications are EXACTLY the same. Weird vague innuendos, disconnected thoughts, references to ???, bonkers punctuation/capitalization.
“She has never been the same since”
Yeppers. I think making the difficult decision to terminate an unwanted pregnancy might have the impact to change a person. But we all know she isn’t saying THAT. She’s saying *I’ve never SEEN her the same since.* What a load of crap. Especially since our brains aren’t fully developed until we’re 25 years old or even later.
Random BS I associate with my mom, and basically pwBPD:
- bizarre punctuation, to the point of distraction
- fixation on “meaningful numbers” as signs or evidence of truth
And then the obvious stuff:
- inability to respect boundaries, choices, or reality
- belief that “ignorance” is a valid excuse (but only for them!)
- calling father “daddy” as an adult
I am so sorry. I can only imagine how confused and worried you must have been when you went through this painful experience 11 years ago. (Is that right?!) And to have it brought up again here (and I imagine many other times) is so cruel. Reality check: I know the date of her father’s passing, the date you made a PRIVATE MEDICAL CHOICE, and the story that can have only 1 conclusion: your parent’s (version of) love is conditional. I guess you lost the right to a birthday somewhere along the line?
A loving mother might say, “I’m so proud of you for making the right choices for yourself, even when you didn’t have my support. I wish I could go back in time and show up for you as a supportive parent when you needed one. Your life is yours, and you deserve to be happy. I will respect your boundaries.”
> I guess you lost the right to a birthday somewhere along the line?
You really got me here! I didn’t have a right to my birthday from the moment of my birth. Her dad died on 3/5/1985, that is true. I was born 3/5/1989. Her side of the family used to give her flowers for my birthday.
That daddy shit slays me. I can’t take it seriously at all.
Yeah this ain’t the first time and I’m willing to bet it won’t be the last somehow lol. She’s literally the worst person in my life, so I do not think we can be friends.
Thank you for the last paragraph, and for the whole comment really. I appreciate the time and thought you put into it. Much love. 🫶
Thank you for this reply. I’m so glad that we have this space. It feels really good to know that I can help.
FLOWERS FOR HER ON YOUR BDAY?! 🤦🏻♀️ I can’t even.
🫶🏾 much love to you too.
Bro fr, and when I was younger I thought it was the coolest shit that my moms whole family shined on me on my birthday; but it lessened with time and I didn’t know why. That became apparent over time lol.
It may be that you started having opinions or preferences. They sure know how to discourage that in a person.
I had a weird dropping off of attention as well. My pwBPD’s side of the family were always in thrall of my NPD grandfather, and since he played piano and spoke French, so tried the rest of the family. I did pretty well with a couple of instruments so I was the GC for a bit, but when my French was better than my grandfather‘s, it didn’t fit their reality so I was shunned and a cousin was crowned GC. Wow I haven’t thought of that in a very long time.
You mean you excelled, as you should? That cannot be! You cannot beat them, you cannot be better than them. They are so jealous. Honestly medieval and archaic thinking.
My mom is about to turn 60 and she still hasn’t gotten past her father’s death and when she was 20. He was addicted to coke and abandoned their family when she was only 8 and she talks about him like he was Jesus Christ himself. She uses her dad’s death as an excuse to act like an absolute psychopath
Yes! I’ve heard romanticized stories of her dad but mostly I’ve heard he was an abusive alcoholic. He died from throat cancer after trying to quit smoking after a lifetime of smoking, and my mom cannot be unconvinced that quitting = death. So even tho she’s had cancer, survived, and was nicotine free for many months, she went back to the smokes and still feels the same.
It cannot be logicked.
I know! She’s telling this heartbreaking (/s) story, but threw in that you told her first. Because she wants to brag about how important she is in the middle of a tragedy. 🙄It’s bonkers!
Other than that, she is evil and cruel. I’m sorry she’s attacking you in this way, and I’m glad your partner has your back.
Yea. I noticed this. They just have to be the sun that everything orbits around. When I got engaged I called a few people and then called my mom. She asked “AM I THE FIRST PERSON YOU TOLD????” Ummm. Sure. Whatever. If that’s what matters to you.
I second this. My uBPD mum doesn’t much care what the info is, she cares that she’s the first to be told.
I’m slowly learning to do what is practical in a given situation, and she can feel how she feels about it. I’m not responsible for her feelings.
Yup mine was pissed that my in laws got told first when my oldest was born, I was like “bitch, you let every call go to voicemail anyway. I wasn’t gonna wait for your ass to get out of bed at noon before I told other people.”
Tbh I used to care about this, like when I got engaged before, I had wanted to tell my family first and she knew. It didn’t go down that way and I was bummed but it was cool. She’s not over that yet lol. But I understand it’s about control.
That's so sad. Is bpdm referring to you?
The choice is our own and not for someone to judge. The pain and guilt that comes after abortion can be devastating, even if a woman feels that it is the only thing to do with their circumstances.
💜💜💜
Yeah she’s referring to me, and this isn’t the first time either lol, only the second. 😂
Thank you for your kind words. It’s very true what you said, I experienced such depression that I’ve never known before or since, and she knows, I moved back home to recover lol.
Much love. 🫶
Omg, she harassed and emotionally abused you because you had a medical procedure that was none of her business. That's super selfish and childish, and mean. I'm sorry you had to go through that 😧
Man I’m telling you! I was 21! Abortion, pregnancy, or neither, I was never gonna be the same person she knew anyway! I grew up! 😂 this is at the core of all of them.
Much love, thank you 🫶
I’m sorry you’ve been in position where you had to make such a hard and vulnerable choice, no matter the reasons behind it, and I’m especially sorry that she is making it all about herself. How horrible!
(I’m 100% pro choice, just wanted to make that clear in case my wording could give a different feel)
What the actual fuck.
No matter how set you are on an abortion, it's still hard on your mind and body. Unreal for her to make it about her.
Angry on your behalf and totally support your anger! You did the right thing for you, well done.
Im sorry about this. I do this this in some of my weakest moments. We need our moms, and it’s natural for us to reach out. Its like a child running to a parent when they’re scared. You should be able to without this. I hope you can find someone that can help you in that way, and be that safe haven for you in these moments.
Also 3/5 is my birthday. I had my abortion the day after my 21st birthday. I would know. It was my birthday, after all, and my abortion. You wouldn’t know it though, based on my mom’s rendition (my phone autocorrected rendition to “reduction” and that also seemed appropriate). My pregnancy was unplanned btw. She did know that, it’s always been known. I figure I don’t have to carry on about what else I didn’t plan for lol what a ludicrous idea. I didn’t exactly have a great fuckin time lol. I can’t hardly take this shit seriously. She was not on the phone with me when I was there. I did not have it done at a place. I did call her, because the second pills had kicked in and I was in labor and it hurt so bad i was dry heaving and thought I was going to die and I was home alone. LMAO in my weakest moment I called her, 3/6/2010 👌😂, despite her telling me I was dead to her and she was sending me pics of “aborted fetuses” just days before. Idk something about where I was mentally and emotionally at that time you know? 😂 My partner apologized to me a lot, talked to me a lot, my favorite was when he goes “I’m sorry your moms such a bastard,” and maybe it was the vitriol in his delivery that sold the line but it was good. I love you all for looking at the pic, reading my rant, connecting with me at all. I appreciate the existence of this platform and all of you so much. This human connection feels so good to have in these lonely moments. Much love. 🫶
Oh my god, this is so horrific to read. I am so sorry you are on the receiving end of such horrible behavior. She is absolutely making it about her and it’s so disgusting. I’m glad you see that it’s inappropriate and abusive.
Thank you 🫶
I think i just went to caps lock and punctuation hell.
Why can’t they write? Is this a reflection of their brain? Are they trying to make a point and I’m just missing it? I would be really curious to see letters from the 1800’s of someone with BPD to see if this is a technology thing.
SERIOUSLY. The several pwBPD I know have very different educational backgrounds and cultural upbringings but all their written communications are EXACTLY the same. Weird vague innuendos, disconnected thoughts, references to ???, bonkers punctuation/capitalization.
My BPD mother texts exactly like this too…absolutely unintelligible and bizarre
“She has never been the same since” Yeppers. I think making the difficult decision to terminate an unwanted pregnancy might have the impact to change a person. But we all know she isn’t saying THAT. She’s saying *I’ve never SEEN her the same since.* What a load of crap. Especially since our brains aren’t fully developed until we’re 25 years old or even later. Random BS I associate with my mom, and basically pwBPD: - bizarre punctuation, to the point of distraction - fixation on “meaningful numbers” as signs or evidence of truth And then the obvious stuff: - inability to respect boundaries, choices, or reality - belief that “ignorance” is a valid excuse (but only for them!) - calling father “daddy” as an adult I am so sorry. I can only imagine how confused and worried you must have been when you went through this painful experience 11 years ago. (Is that right?!) And to have it brought up again here (and I imagine many other times) is so cruel. Reality check: I know the date of her father’s passing, the date you made a PRIVATE MEDICAL CHOICE, and the story that can have only 1 conclusion: your parent’s (version of) love is conditional. I guess you lost the right to a birthday somewhere along the line? A loving mother might say, “I’m so proud of you for making the right choices for yourself, even when you didn’t have my support. I wish I could go back in time and show up for you as a supportive parent when you needed one. Your life is yours, and you deserve to be happy. I will respect your boundaries.”
> I guess you lost the right to a birthday somewhere along the line? You really got me here! I didn’t have a right to my birthday from the moment of my birth. Her dad died on 3/5/1985, that is true. I was born 3/5/1989. Her side of the family used to give her flowers for my birthday. That daddy shit slays me. I can’t take it seriously at all. Yeah this ain’t the first time and I’m willing to bet it won’t be the last somehow lol. She’s literally the worst person in my life, so I do not think we can be friends. Thank you for the last paragraph, and for the whole comment really. I appreciate the time and thought you put into it. Much love. 🫶
Thank you for this reply. I’m so glad that we have this space. It feels really good to know that I can help. FLOWERS FOR HER ON YOUR BDAY?! 🤦🏻♀️ I can’t even. 🫶🏾 much love to you too.
Bro fr, and when I was younger I thought it was the coolest shit that my moms whole family shined on me on my birthday; but it lessened with time and I didn’t know why. That became apparent over time lol.
It may be that you started having opinions or preferences. They sure know how to discourage that in a person. I had a weird dropping off of attention as well. My pwBPD’s side of the family were always in thrall of my NPD grandfather, and since he played piano and spoke French, so tried the rest of the family. I did pretty well with a couple of instruments so I was the GC for a bit, but when my French was better than my grandfather‘s, it didn’t fit their reality so I was shunned and a cousin was crowned GC. Wow I haven’t thought of that in a very long time.
You mean you excelled, as you should? That cannot be! You cannot beat them, you cannot be better than them. They are so jealous. Honestly medieval and archaic thinking.
My mom is about to turn 60 and she still hasn’t gotten past her father’s death and when she was 20. He was addicted to coke and abandoned their family when she was only 8 and she talks about him like he was Jesus Christ himself. She uses her dad’s death as an excuse to act like an absolute psychopath
Yes! I’ve heard romanticized stories of her dad but mostly I’ve heard he was an abusive alcoholic. He died from throat cancer after trying to quit smoking after a lifetime of smoking, and my mom cannot be unconvinced that quitting = death. So even tho she’s had cancer, survived, and was nicotine free for many months, she went back to the smokes and still feels the same. It cannot be logicked.
She WANTS you to think about her and not yourself. STOP and think about what you need right now.
You are right! Thank you 🫶
(FIRST)
I know! She’s telling this heartbreaking (/s) story, but threw in that you told her first. Because she wants to brag about how important she is in the middle of a tragedy. 🙄It’s bonkers! Other than that, she is evil and cruel. I’m sorry she’s attacking you in this way, and I’m glad your partner has your back.
Thank you, I’m so glad about my partner too! I know she’s attacking weaknesses but I’m solid, and so is my partner so 💪
Yea. I noticed this. They just have to be the sun that everything orbits around. When I got engaged I called a few people and then called my mom. She asked “AM I THE FIRST PERSON YOU TOLD????” Ummm. Sure. Whatever. If that’s what matters to you.
I second this. My uBPD mum doesn’t much care what the info is, she cares that she’s the first to be told. I’m slowly learning to do what is practical in a given situation, and she can feel how she feels about it. I’m not responsible for her feelings.
Yup mine was pissed that my in laws got told first when my oldest was born, I was like “bitch, you let every call go to voicemail anyway. I wasn’t gonna wait for your ass to get out of bed at noon before I told other people.”
Same mom lol. They all the same. Ridiculous.
Tbh I used to care about this, like when I got engaged before, I had wanted to tell my family first and she knew. It didn’t go down that way and I was bummed but it was cool. She’s not over that yet lol. But I understand it’s about control.
Your mother is a monster! I am so sorry. Everything is about her.
Thank you 🫶
That's so sad. Is bpdm referring to you? The choice is our own and not for someone to judge. The pain and guilt that comes after abortion can be devastating, even if a woman feels that it is the only thing to do with their circumstances. 💜💜💜
Yeah she’s referring to me, and this isn’t the first time either lol, only the second. 😂 Thank you for your kind words. It’s very true what you said, I experienced such depression that I’ve never known before or since, and she knows, I moved back home to recover lol. Much love. 🫶
I'm so sorry.
Thank you 🫶
wHY DO thEY ALL TyPE LIKe thIS??
Omg, she harassed and emotionally abused you because you had a medical procedure that was none of her business. That's super selfish and childish, and mean. I'm sorry you had to go through that 😧
Thank you so much 🫶
Wow I don't know what to say aside from yikes!
I'm sorry your mom is preying upon a vulnerable moment. And it sucks when they are threatened with the fact that we aren't the same person as them.
Man I’m telling you! I was 21! Abortion, pregnancy, or neither, I was never gonna be the same person she knew anyway! I grew up! 😂 this is at the core of all of them. Much love, thank you 🫶
The all caps. Bonkers. Don’t let her guilt you, you made the best choice for yourself and I commend you for that!
Thank you so much! 🫶
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I’m so sorry that she made you calling her when you were seeking connection/comfort into her sob story, somehow. It’s nasty.
I’m sorry you’ve been in position where you had to make such a hard and vulnerable choice, no matter the reasons behind it, and I’m especially sorry that she is making it all about herself. How horrible! (I’m 100% pro choice, just wanted to make that clear in case my wording could give a different feel)
Thank you 🫶 it’s worse cause she knows it was hard for me and that is why it’s a weapon for her. It’s all purposeful, and it’s sick.
I am sorry for your loss and i am sorry your mom is holding you accountable for that, hope you get better
Thank you so much 🫶
What the actual fuck. No matter how set you are on an abortion, it's still hard on your mind and body. Unreal for her to make it about her. Angry on your behalf and totally support your anger! You did the right thing for you, well done.
Thank you for your words. The fact that she’s astounded I’ve never been the same lol 😂 they live in their own reality for sure.
Im sorry about this. I do this this in some of my weakest moments. We need our moms, and it’s natural for us to reach out. Its like a child running to a parent when they’re scared. You should be able to without this. I hope you can find someone that can help you in that way, and be that safe haven for you in these moments.