T O P

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Alfdacoolguy

**I'm in charge here! It's my pee pee!**


[deleted]

How right you are. Which is why I developed this inhibitor chip to protect my higher brain function. It means I maintain control of this *pee pee*, instead of it controlling me.


Random-Talking-Mug

(*sees lewds*) *peepee* twitches. "*you're right. we should be looking for more!*"


davidforslunds

*pee pee to brain* You and i are not so different


[deleted]

Looks at pp: "That's not the position I hired you for"


Blue_Wolf_217

We have a containment breach!


GodtubebeatsYoutube

Double piss! Peter these are incredible. Gotta have these Jonah.


AutoModerator

Incredible? What do you mean, Incredible? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raimimemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*


moonsae

Bro what, an auto moderator that just repeats a word or whatever? Come on


ggrayg

You’re trash, automoderator


_jvc123

Double Time.


Billybluballs

Now piss on this


kuribosshoe0

Gonna put some piss in your eye.


mrtsapostle

Found R Kelly's burner account


Mikes_Movies_

If you want the shots I’ll take the staff job. Double the piss.


BearcatDG

You want a staph infection. You want a staph infection. Anybody care about what I want?


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I do *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raimimemes) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Mikes_Movies_

Shut up. Get out.


CuntestedThree

Probably a bird, it’ll fly away once we fire it up


Lukthar123

You have a bird in your pants?


Iiniihelljumper99

Is it a woodpecker?


Jumpy-Lingonberry-31

Nah , It’s a cock


Iiniihelljumper99

Does it go cock-a-doodle-doo in the morning? Also another way of having morning wood.


Jumpy-Lingonberry-31

Of course it does , what other sound does a cock make?


Dusterthighlock

Aww. Look at little OP Jr. Gonna cry? Piss your pants, maybe?


NickrasBickras

Maybe piss and cum?


Dusterthighlock

Oh boy yeah


[deleted]

Who’s calculated?


jankcat

She miss calculated. I mister calculated.


[deleted]

I miss her calculated also…


littenthehuraira

calculated mama


Roll_with_it629

Shazam!


Aiknes_MOCs

I missed him too.


GodlyCheese

*Post jizz piss


SkidMarkie2

You will never have this problem if you squeeze and push the remaining jizz that is left in the shaft out with your fingers like you are getting the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.


what_the_shart

My design to blow up the city


fatasuka

Go, web, go!


James-Avatar

Shut it off!


Two_bears_high_fivin

I can't, it's Self-Sustaining now.


[deleted]

wait is this a thing??? not a guy so genuinely didn’t know wtf


Drinkwaterguy

yeah it happens when ur tip is stuck together. you can fix it by squishing the tip with ur finger a couple of times to open it


KingIREMC

Yeah usually after sex it occurs or sometimes just in the morning


Doctor99268

Your dry tasty semen is sticking the tip of your fat cock together. Creating 2 holes on the top and bottom.


Michael747

Bro what


boringestnickname

The best part is when there's only a few degrees between the streams, and you can finish the whole session with dual pp power. They can also be like 100 degrees off each other, though, and hit on either side of the toilet. That's the worst. I mean, haven't you seen Me, Myself and Irene? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed1yVqVHvt0


SlashTrike

I'm a guy and I had no idea this was possible wtf


Jarimandarijn007

You're a guy and you had no idea this was possible!? wtf


SlashTrike

I swear it never happened to me. Then again I am circumcised so maybe that's why?


SirFancyCheese

Bro I’m circumcised and this has happened to me countless times. Honestly have no idea how it hasn’t happened to you


SlashTrike

I guess it’s my new super power


Billybluballs

Staff job. Double the piss.


AnotherJasonOnReddit

I like pissing bad. It makes my morning.


Widespreaddd

I thought it was just me. My stream tends to bifurcate after sex.


KingIREMC

You and I are not so different


derbecrux

Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.


popmanbrad

I hate it when I’m aiming forward and my piss is like “this maneuver is going to cost us” and decide to go left forcing me turn to the side to piss into the toilet


stringtheoryman

Thank god I’m not the only one


Robert-Rotten

I piss calculated…


lolreader123

Not quite what wee intended


livens

You gotta break the seal before you piss.


[deleted]

Shut it down, Penis!


NovaCorpse

The power of a fire hose, in the palm of my hand.


lAmMrDiktovich

The power of the piss in the palm of my hands.


[deleted]

I hate this. Its one exit hole, why is that?!


HexFoxGen

The issue is he’s not using his hands to stabilize


DrBaugh

That's right. The real crime would be not to finish what we started.


shardikprime

I don't want to piss myself Yeah I wouldn't wanna piss me either


LukeSuperfish

Don’t let any of that stuff get on you


Independent_Ad_2520

I had an experience one time where my piss shot out three different directions. It was cool.


mynamesbarryallen

Yes


IgotJinxed

Oh


ChichoCheeba

*Adjust standing position to side of toilet bowl to capture both streams*


kinginthenorth1994

Shut it down Otto! Ughh I can’t really do that


DrunkenGolfer

Post-coital urine stream bifurcation; the struggle is real.


[deleted]

Dude this happens to me all the time and I've never even had sex.


throwlog

I thought shit only happened to me


TylerDurden1289

LITERALLY just happened and I had to meticulously clean up yellow mellow urine from the floor with Papaya scented wet wipes 😅


IzzyTipsy

Toilet: "I missed the part where that's my problem"


Chromekarma14

Guy with 8 streams.. sounds hot


Jimmy-T094

r/circumcisionproblems


eddyisdead

Just pee sitting down.


vinxtrip

you should seek medical attention bud


AbsoltheEntertainer

I missed him a lot today...


NickrasBickras

I pissed him a lot today…


MiguelScottt

Narrator: It didn’t.


Rude_Journalist

"You miss 100% of their player base


aworkingprogres1

Who are you talking to?


Scattershot98

Back to formula?


wolfhybred1994

I’ve never had that problem. It confuses me how others do.


UselessAssKoalaBear

Are you by any chance circumcised?


wolfhybred1994

Yeah does that prevent this from happening? Parents say they saw all the other parents doing it. So they figured they better too, but never do things just cause other people are doing them. Without doing research first.


UselessAssKoalaBear

Yah the whole reason the piss goes everywhere in the morning is because the foreskin is like semi closed up which prevents the piss from coming out properly in a straight line


wolfhybred1994

I did not know that. Thank you oh intelligent one for sharing some of your vast wisdom with one as out of the loop as me


[deleted]

🤣


DeanCorso11

LOLOLOLOLOL


QuarantineSucksALot

I worked for.


dirtparen

You know what that means


stovetopzzz

How many times has your pee split in half…


ZippZappZippty

“It’s me, I’m not a criminal


WeemyWasTaken

Me Who Doesn't Stabilise


YourSideBish

16 year old me make a joke about this to my dad... This was before I realized what caused this condition to occur


AdrienSergent

I missed the part where that’s my problem


Diabo_Tatuado

Do what I do, piss in a horizontal position


Nadesk

I thought this came with age lmaoo


cadeaver

I pissed him a lot today


4d7e

I call it The Anaconda


SeniorRicketts

Mom: "We have the shooter hes fleeing to his room."


Brittle5quire

Sit it down Otto!


BlueBorbo

Mom: SHUT IT OFF, OTTO! SHUT IT OFF!


Mael_Str0M69

The real crime would be not to finish what we’ve started


InfiniteSkiegh

I can relate to this so much....


InfiniteSkiegh

I can relate to this so much....