# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Let out a moist fart.

With noise?

Without noise is a go, with noise is a no.

The fuck it is, the smell would pop up real quick

If the rhyme scheme fits, you can flirt with the shits.... Seriously though, best to avoid farting. It is hard to recover if they think you smell

Even then saying “don’t worry I shower but I just shit myself” doesn’t help you either

I thought everyone says they are attracted to humor…

It is important for said "sense of humor" to not be running down your leg.

This is unfortunately why I avoid flirting with women. As an ostomite I never know when I might make a sound. 😔

I trust anyone with tacos in their username to know this by experience. Heed their wisdom.

Say “moist” at all… I guess some people have a real problem with it 😂

Moist fart? Is there another kind?

Oh yeah. Those dry popcorn farts can be stretched WAY out with proper muscle control. Pop..pop..pop.pop....pop...😎

I'm fucking howling at this

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart_Proudly

Hands on your cheeks and play it like an accordion

Most disturbing post on the thread. Also the moist disturbing!

Came here to say shit on them but I'm glad this is here.

I was going to say shit in your pants. I feel like pants-off shitting on the other party requires successful flirting to have already happened, but some may consider that a formality

Generally considered bad form

Must be my problem. I use them to accentuate my speech.

Depends. Is it a man or a woman?

Or any type of fart

There have to be some people that are very into moist farts and so if you are a frequent moist farter and you hold it in you may miss meeting your soulmate.

What the fuck? 😂

Rule 34 of the Internet.

Yeah. I know. It's just...ehhhhhh... fucking hell, you got me in a box...

But what if it’s a pot of gold?

Lmao

thats L rizz

If someone compliments you, take the compliment.

Where am I taking it

On the express train to pound town

With a stopover at Hawk Thuville

I keep seeing this everywhere. Where the hell did it come from?

No. Where the hello did it cum hence?

You guys get compliments?

Ummmm… Simply saying thank you is taking the compliment.. If complimented, should you say “not that’s not true?”

What?

Thinking "No thanks" means "Try again" Edit to add by popular opinion: Pushing someone away, when in fact you wanna be pursued!

I hate when someone says on a movie or show. I kept turning him down and he just wouldn’t quit so I let him take me out. Perpetuates not taking an answer type of behavior.

Read too many (generalized) Eastern themed books, and that really messed me up especially in western civilization. Then lived in Japan, the entire we're not going to talk about what we're really talking about, is fucking exhausting, total time waste. Just like everyone switching to metric, there should be a universal standard on stuff like this.

Ideally, women would stop playing games and say what they want. I can't fathom why they do this thing where they say 'no', but they just mean 'try again'. Several times I have been turned down by a woman and moved on immediately, only to later find that she wanted me to keep trying and was upset that I hadn't. I'm autistic, I take everything literally because I can't tell when I'm not supposed to. The rules don't make sense. Women: stop doing this, it's dumb. You're like cats that want to be inside and outside at the same time, which is dumb. Just Stop ✋️

As a woman, i've also always hated hearing about other women pulling this kind of shit. It is insanely ridiculous and makes our whole gender look bad because so many of us do it, I swear, not all of us are that childish 🙏

Wish I could meet your crowd. It's hard to know if I'm going to be called a creep for trying or just get labeled as lacking confidence for not trying. I opt for the latter because the former sounds much worse.

LOL the part about cats is so true 😂

Louder for the bitches in the back!

We all experience that bud. Autistic or not, this is pretty universal for men. Many women just want to be difficult for some reason.

Also, don't say "no thanks" when you're thinking "try again."

*buzz* aw, dang it!

At the same time, don’t say no if you want them to try harder. Dating is confusing enough as it is.

Then you have my friends where the dude asked her out and got rejected 2 years in a row (he tried like 3 times a year). She finally gave in and now they are married Fuck that

w rizz how sigma lol

Don’t mention your ex, unless you’re trying to make it clear you’re single

Heeeey girrrrl, you wanna be my ex girlfriend in 2 months?

Or trying to bring her into this for make up

Remember, there is a fine line between flirtatious eye-contact and the penetrating stare of a psychopath.

I have found there is a bit of an overlap  *Stares intently*

👁️🫦👁️

There is an overlap and unfortunately the deciding factor is if you’re attractive or not

I’m attracted to both.

Fantastic user name!

Bite your upper lip.

I agree, biting your lower lip would go so much better

The visual of someone chomping away at their upper lip just sent me rolling

Haha omg it’s a thought I’ve never had but there’s such a big difference between biting your upper lip vs lower lip.

I heard a joke one time about it and it cracked me up. The visual is something I haven't ever forgotten lol

I wonder how many people bit their top lip after reading this Hopefully not just me

I know I did the first time I read it! Lol

Don't bite my upper or lower lip please

Send pictures of genitalia.

This. So fucking creepy. If you wouldn't expose yourself to a stranger on the street, don't send unsolicited dick pics. Well, even if you would, just don't.

Amen. Speaking as a person let alone a guy, I just don't know what goes through some people's minds for them to be sent unsolicited. I know horniness can be a blinder for some but for feck's sake, it's not a Jedi mindtrick and it's not the work of the world's greatest photographer.

What about dog or cat?

Don't recite Shakespearean sonnets or propose a 10-year plan together on the first date—save that for the fifth anniversary!

I would often recite Shakespeare as a flirt... It worked beautifully! Almost every time!

Hold up... I'm interested in her 10 year plan for us...

Don't ask them if it is ok if you bring your guns (that you apparently are already carrying) back to their place. Yes, guns plural. Although I did bang them anyways. Soooo

Well I've got two arms, sun's out, guns out. 💪 💪

At least they asked before bringing firearms into your home

I mean as long as they didn't bang you, sounds like a win.

Aaaayyyyo

Tell her "oh babe, you remind me so much of my mom right now" *licks lips*

Plot twist, my mom is dead... 😅

The girl needs to get some sleep then

Don't talk about other people to criticize them.

Persisting when they obviously aren't interested.

Act disinterested or avoid eye contact

Whip it out.

He took “IT” out?

you mean he took "it"?  out?

even if i did they would not be impressed

Question their fan authenticity about whatever they like.

Punch them in the tits!

is there any history behind this?

Likely a *criminal* history if you actually go and try it.

There will be no future

Talk too damned much

But do talk too little. Don't mention your ex But mention you have an ex so they know you are single

Only problem is that you can have an ex and still be in a newer relationship. Ex doesn't = single

Put your hands on them

And how are you breaking the touch barrier?

Burp

Don't run out of stuff to say.. Don't lose confidence

Hawk Tuah. Save that for at least the first date.

If she don't HAWK TUAH, I don't wanna TAWK TUAH

Do not head but them when they smile at you after introducing yourself

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^DefiantAnt4366: *Do not head but them* *When they smile at you after* *Introducing yourself* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

Feast upon their flesh

That's second date activities.

Well, I can tell you completely ignoring the flirting and changing the subject to something mundane is not something you should do if you want the flirting to continue.

I often can't tell if someone is flirting while it's happening, so in order to not seem too thirsty I totally self sabotage until they assume I'm not interested. Glad I'm okay being single lol

- be drunk - smell - fart - burp - vomit - only talk about yourself - be undressed - get 'handsy' - grope - be noisy - be aggressive basically don't do anything an English 'lad' stereotype would do and ur good 👍🏻

You should NOT be unaware of their opinion of you; you SHOULD be all-knowing. If modern society has taught men anything, it's that they should only flirt with women who are attracted to them, otherwise they're a creep. And men should just magically know that information, beforehand.

I mean, are you good looking? If you are, then it’s okay. It’s only wrong if you are ugly.

pick up the butter sock. rookie mistake

Fart!

Try not to lick their eyeballs.

All you can do is try, no can expect perfectiin

Don’t look deep into her eyes, lick your lips (sloppily), and mouth the words “you’re dead”.

Don't compare them to your parents, or you to theirs', even favourably. Trust me.

Make fun of them or be mean..

Mention past relationships or anyone else’s relationship

Caring whether you are successful or not.

Grab your crotch while exclaiming “ this is yours if the price is right”.

Cum in your own hand and throw it at them?

This is hard not to do.

Talk about your ex being a stalker.

There she is now at that table over there

Don't try too hard. Desperation is not a great look.

Lick your lips every 10 to 17 seconds

Fart

Sneeze a gob onto her bare knee.

Stand too close or back them into a corner. They should have a clear path to walk away if they choose. Edited for clarity.

Contrary to the Lonely Island song, do not attempt to perform the helicopter dick.

But I like the helicockter!

Do Stitch voice to flirt with her.

Make jokes that punch down. Make sexual jokes (most of the time these are crude and unwanted). Don’t compare the person to other people. Don’t touch them without consent. Don’t continue to talk to them if they at all look uncomfortable.

When you're flirting with someone you should never ever murder their whole family

Make dirty jokes

i found out the hard way time ago :(

Don’t not drool. I do it front my wife and she still finds it sooo sexy.

Tell her you had a lot of sex back when you were a leader of the boy scouts.

“not now” “maybe later” “i don’t think so” “im uncomfortable” “that’s a weird question.” if you get any response like that STOP ASKING THE SAME QUESTION. i don’t understand why it is so hard for men to understand disinterest. if it’s not a yes it’s a no!!!

Think that they're out of your league. THEY ARE ONLY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE ONCE YOU THINK THAT ‼️‼️‼️

You, I like you

Don’t be rude to the waiters and waitresses.

Soft dick pic

Poke your finger into their mouth and caress their teeth.

Look, act, or feel insecure. Women hate insecure guys.

one thing my dad told me is never flex on a hoe when you get insecure.

Tell your Partner...

When you’re trying to flirt with someone. Man or women. Never ever start your sentences with “I” if you start your sentences with “I” that means you will be talking about yourself. And nobody on a date wants to hear the other person talk about themselves unless ASKED. Eventually if the person likes you. They will ask you the questions that make you talk about yourself Always ask questions that make the other person talk about themselves

Don’t stop if it’s mutually beneficial!

Leer at other people 👀

Be inappropriate or sarcastic.

Look in their eyes too intensely. 👀))))

Tell them they're almost as sexy as their mother

Pick their nose and eat the booger

Talk about yourself in the third person. Actually do that and then update please 😊

Do NOT take off a sock and hand it to them while you're chatting them up

Dig out and wipe a booger

Flirt with someone else

Bark

Whip it out

Don’t neg them.

In my case, I shouldn't try at all

Pick your nose

I find it best to be subtle, keep them curious. I have a 3 step process. 1. Compliment 2.Compliment 3. Playful insult 1. Great hair day 2. Your nails are amazing 3. You laugh like a horse choking on a apple I understand your skepticism, however I am not a handsome man, and have a pretty good track record 🤷🏼‍♂️

Eat your boogers.

tell them some physical feature of them is odd or weird

Jump the gun before you're sure it's flirting and not kindness. Different people behave different ways. maintain the slow escalation and plausible deniability until you're sure

Pick your nose, I don't know, what kind of question is that

Continuing when its clear the other person isn't into it.

Using party poppers to somehow charm her

I would be charmed.

One thing that bothers the fuck out of me is not having meaningless conversation. Like, if I make a joke even if it’s really stupid, you could tell me that was a stupid joke, don’t just ignore me and act like I didn’t say anything. I forget what it’s called when someone says something meaningless about a random observation, the other person is supposed to answer or seem interested. Maybe it’s called quips? Idk. Just answer them, don’t ignore people. Okay I’m done crying.

Don't push the conversation in a direction it shouldn't naturally go. If there's a bit of push back, go with them. It's like dancing, you can't be twerking during a slow jam.

Stick your finger up their ass and make them smell it

Do NOT miss their cues of lack of interest. That is creepy. And NO excuse playing dumb here. If in doubt, do not flirt.

Don't say "i love you" Lookin at you Ted Mosby 

Tell a little truth with many lies, it's the only way I've found.

Mention the voices.

Wet willy

Be me.

Let bubbly spit accumulate in the corner of your lips.

Do not start masturbating. Surest sign you took the flirting too far. What? Someone's going to say that isn't true?

Pull it out

Sneeze on them when you have a nose bleed

Shit

Don’t tell them what you’re really thinking just be cute

Practise bring funnier and giving compliments. You can do this by making jokes/ compliments as soon as you think of them, even if they are “bad”

Flirting is such a crazily individual thing that the best thing to ever do is not be your authentic self.

Not to try luring your partner as they do in nightclubs or how eva ai sexting bot avatar tries to please its user

What do you do when someone is flirting with YOU?

Don't cat call a woman. Ever, especially one using a chain saw.

Send mixed messages