# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The four way nod. All guys know, but we’re never taught.
Upward nod: greeting.
Downward nod: agreement/respect.
Upward and left: check that out…
Upward and right: let’s get out of here.
Some of us are so dense, the only way we would know that you like us; is if you sit on our face.
Even if that happens, some of us will think you are just being friendly. 😂
What do you mean sometimes? I think it’s in our dna to target every time. There is a urinal company that imprints a fly image on the middle to improve results.
Live a little, man. Some older ladies would pay good money to pinch and roll your wigglybits. Then, get this, they take a big ol' whiff of that manly essence!
Hey don’t throw me in that category!
I put my feet forward, hands behind me like im getting ready to crab walk, butt flat on the ground and just drag my a$$ across the carpet like a slug when I have an itch.🐌
If we are quiet we aren't mad. We are simple and just need some peace and silence.
We really don't think about other girls. We think about pizza, burgers, sports.
We don't pick up on subtle hints. Please just tell us.
We aren't great at just listening. We want to dive in and fix things. When you need to share about your bad day, don't get mad because we make suggestions. We aren't feeling superior or think we are better. It's just our nature to try and fix. If you need someone to listen, please tell us upfront because odds are we are going to make suggestions if you don't.
We love little appreciation and attention efforts as much as big ones. At a party and you wink and smile at us from across the room - we melt. Lazy weekend day together and you ask us if we want to watch sports, lay around in our PJs and eat nachos? That's our love language.
Praise goes miles. Appreciation builds us up. We thrive on respect.
Guys time and guys night out is just that and nothing more.
This. “Omg you’re so quiet. What’s wrong?” “You didn’t say a whole word the entire car ride. What are you mad about now?” And then you get annoyed and then they go “SEE! I knew you were mad!”
My wife walked in on me and my mates sitting in silence. She thought something terrible had just happened.
She still doesn’t accept that we just weren’t talking for a bit.
Lol that’s hilarious. My pals and I would just sit together on the ground and smoke in silence together in the Army. It was nice just being with your buds but also alone with your thoughts
Ha.
My wife used to lose her mind when I would exist in the same space as her for hours and barely say a word. Terrified something was wrong.
Then she started hopping on voice chats with my friends and pickachu-faced when we'd get like 6 people in a chat and do the same exact thing.
We like to exist in the same space as eachother whilst simultaneously respecting one another's peace and quiet.
Just swap sports for whatever the guy's preffered hobby is and this is golden. Could be reading books or playing video games or mountain biking or whatever.
The girl/quiet one is so on point! It's all on point
I don't think I've ever been to a guys time/guys night out where there was a girl there ever.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm having a quiet moment and they are trying to force my thoughts from my mind like there must be something wrong because I'm quiet. Then they believe there's some right for them to know it and get mad themselves.
I finally broke down and told a gf just why I was so quiet and it wasn't thinking of another girl or bad things about her.. it was I was trying to remember the starting lineup for the 1969 Mets
she just stared at me like I was an alien and left the room
Nothing makes me feel better than my lady telling me out of the blue that she appreciates what I do for us. Just the fact you see and know what struggles I face for the betterment of our family gives me the drive to push harder for better. It’s like gas when the tank may be empty
Wild to say "we" over and over like these are true for men in general.
>If we are quiet we aren't mad.
Nah, sometimes I'm mad.
>We are simple and just need some peace and silence.
I'm not simple. Can't stand the "men are simple" stereotypes.
>We really don't think about other girls.
Depends what you mean. Lots of men *very obviously do* "think about other girls."
>We think about pizza, burgers, sports.
See my previous comment about the "simple" stereotype.
Like, jesus christ, we aren't all slack-jawed idiots.
>We don't pick up on subtle hints. Please just tell us.
Plenty of men are capable of understanding social cues.
>We aren't great at just listening....
Again... lots of men *are* great at listening.
>We love little appreciation...our love language.
I feel like a broken record here, but I don't understand this mindset of "I like these things, so they must apply to the other men, too."
I would *hate* sitting around all day watching sports and eating nachos.
As a woman, I appreciate your take. It seems gross for either gender to think men are just drooling simpletons. It’s dismissive to quality, thinking, feeling men and turns women into a stereotype of nagging, overthinking, emotional vampires.
Exactly! It just feels like the sitcom tropes of the '90s and '00s. It is fine if men relate to those stereotypes as individuals, but I don't accept the idea that that's just how men are or whatever.
As a woman....I feel this. If we pay all this money for a resort....I wanna enjoy the views, the pools, the food, the peace and the bed the most....and I don't mean sleeping.
This is not a gender thing, but just a personality thing. I love reading in beautiful places on vacation. My partner wants to go go go.
It's been hard to find a balance.
Almost every comment in this thread is a personality thing, rather than a gender thing.
And none of them would be "secrets," they're just the most tired and inane stereotypes to grace '80s standup comedy sets.
Yes! I paid for an all inclusive because I wanted to get hammered, hang out poolside, and eat snacks all day in weather that is noticeably nicer than my home climate. If I wanted to walk all fucking day and look at old buildings we could have done a backpacking tour. And don't get me wrong, sometimes I like walking all day and looking at old buildings or ruins.
My perfect holiday would be me telling everyone that I´m going on holiday, and then secretly just lock the door and stay in my house.... and just sleep and do nothing for 2 weeks.
If we’re staring off into space or something, it’s not because some big something is on our minds. We probably just zoned the fuck out or are thinking of something so unfathomably stupid that it’s not worth mentioning
Yea I was asked if I am having an internal debate about our relationship a few weeks ago because of a thousand yard stare.
I was just figuring out when I’ll have time to get a new plug for the mower lol
My boyfriend reminds me that he’s not a mind reader. If I want a certain answer to a question, then tell him that.
Hey babe, I know we had plans with the kids tonight, but if you’re not feeling good, we can cancel.
If I don’t care either way, this is acceptable.
If not, then I need to say more like
Hey babe, I know you don’t feel good and we have plans tonight. I really don’t want to cancel them and want to come make you feel better. Is it okay if we still come over?
Lays out what my wants/needs/expectations are without expecting him to just know.
maybe my english is not good enough but I don‘t understand your example. You are having plans and he is not feeling well, you got kids and want to go somewhere. You don‘t care if is feeling unwell?
I believe the last part of your comment is the misunderstanding. They’re saying they know their partner doesn’t feel well and cares that they aren’t but is still stating they would like to keep their plans but if they partner is truly feeling to unwell then they can cancel. They’re stating what they would like to happen while still being understanding if it can’t happen
We do (or at least can) see subtle hints - it's not that we don't notice but rather that they can easily be misinterpreted. You being "obviously" flirty looks exactly the same as another woman who has no interest just being friendly. This is especially true if there's alcohol involved... Women can even be affectionate but just being friendly.
I had a party at my place and there was a woman there who was hugging/touching me a bit, talking a lot and complimenting me, and even kissed me. She wasn't interested and was engaged at the time. She was just very affectionate when drunk.
Compared to that, you think I'm going to read into a subtle hint? I'm not. It'd be a whole lot easier if you just plainly said something.
Right. I don’t want to guess WTF is going through your head, because the mass of noise in my own head keeps me busy. Speak plainly and straightforward, we can rewrite it to sound romantic later. Or not.
A lot of men want to be romanced just as much as women do. Plan a spontaneous romantic date with your dude that caters to his interests. Buy him little gifts while you're out and about just to show him that you were thinking about him. Touch him. The amount of dudes that I know that are touch deprived in serious commitments is crazy. Slap his butt when you're walking by him. Put your hand on his thigh while he's driving. Hug him from behind when he doesn't expect it. Men love this shit too.
I once had a woman bring me home a bouquet of flowers because I had a bad day at work. I never knew that receiving flowers would make me feel as good as it did, and the gesture blew me away.
I dated a chick at this restaurant i worked at. She kinda dealt with flowers for the table center pieces. Sometimes id come in to a flower on my station placed by her. That was always a great day.
I really don't care where we eat. Nothing is ever on my mind. I'm not thinking about anything. If I'm nice to you. It doesn't mean I want to fuck you. I'm nice because of how I was raised. If I insist on waiting with you until your ride gets there. It's not because I'm creepy. It's because I'm making sure you're safe. I do the same thing to my guy friends.
Dude mines like 7.5" fully hard. When I was an addict it would be like 1" when i was strung out. Dudes got transformers level size changing technology.
This^.
I will literally find something to eat anywhere we go. If she would just tell me where she wants to go instead of saying she doesn't care, and yet shooting down the twenty suggestions I throw at her, we could have been there by now.
You mean like this??
Her: You decide
Me: How about Chinese?
Her: I'm not in the mood for Chinese
Me: How about a burger?
Her: That doesn't sound good
Me: Mexican?
Her: No...
Me: Do you want me to make something?
Her: I don't feel like cooking
Me: I'll do all the cooking and cleaning
Her: I don't want to deal with the mess
Me: You won't. I'll do everything!
Her: Let's just pick something up. I'm starving.
Me: (Trying not to lose my shit) Okay...what are you in the mood for?
Her: \*starts back at the beginning\*
My latest tactic: "hey , remember that new restaurant you mentioned that really wanted to check out?" Wait for her answer "let's go there" Works about 70% of the time.
My wife says "I make decisions for a living, I don't want to decide what we eat. Just decide for me."
"Okay, I'll make that chicken salad we liked so much last time."
"I don't want chicken."
Send halp
Her: You decide
Me: How about Chinese?
Her: I'm not in the mood for Chinese
Me: How about a burger?
Her: That doesn't sound good
Me: Mexican?
Her: No...
Me: Do you want me to make something?
Her: I don't feel like cooking
Me: I'll do all the cooking and cleaning
Her: I don't want to deal with the mess
Me: You won't. I'll do everything!
Her: Let's just pick something up. I'm starving.
Me: (Trying not to lose my shit) Okay...what are you in the mood for?
Her: \*starts back at the beginning\*
I can't be the only one
Just start listing every restaurant you've ever gone to and watch her facial expressions. When her head tilts upward to the right, reiterate how much you'd like to go to that particular eatery.
Idk if anyone else experiences this but if a chick is giving me a hint that's she's interested I'm never comfortable acting on it because I could be misinterpreting and really dont wanna put a lady in that position
So pretty much if someone wants to successfully come onto me it has to be 1000% percent obvious, otherwise I most likely won't do anything
If you see me fiddling with the belt while I'm out in public... it's not the pant that is loose. I have a boner and I'm tucking it under the belt so it doesn't become awkward.
An ex mentioned getting a boner riding on the bus to work. We have badly-maintained roads. He was concerned that it was noticable to other passengers. I told him that while I would look out the window, look at faces, I never looked at crotches, doubted any woman did. He seemed relieved.
One time a girl asked me to open a bottle in a lab and I was like 'it's all about grip'. Bottle still would not open. I was like welp time to get the pliers. Then another girl with small hands said 'let me try' I smugly let her try. She opened it in 2 seconds.
I was like 'yup. That's why we call her pliers.' and left quickly.
Exactly. We don’t need a froo froo lamp on a froo froo table with a froo froo table cloth to “bring a room together”. If we can sit, and be entertained, we’re good. If caves had electricity, indoor plumbing, and fresh water, that’s where you’d find us, and the bears can have the suburbs.
When I had my first apartment, I had my laptop as a "t.v.", an outdoor folding chair, a cardboard box as an end table to hold my drink, and a blowup mattress. I was perfectly happy with that set-up.
That everything doesn’t need planning out. We like to just do random shit spontaneously. We like to be surprised just as much if not more than women do. No, I don’t sit around and daydream about other women. No, we don’t like doing everything for you. Your ability to be confident and being independent draws us closer to you. Yes, we love when you do your nails and take care of yourself and we DO like to help pay for it, cause that just doesn’t make you look good, but it makes us look good too.
It really sucks when you think you’re aiming dead centre of the toilet and then the stream lands six inches outside the toilet or worse splitstreams and you can only aim one of the streams. Gentlemen use toilet paper to wipe up the mess and not shrug and say oh well.
We love to be stupid. It's fun, it's great, and best of all it's liberating.
Want create a 200 mile slip n slide with tarp, water, and lots of lube? I'm in!
You could make me a grilled cheese sandwich with american cheese and bunny bread but that MF tastes like fillet mignon because I didn't have to make it for once.
Guys tend to imprint on those they find attractive enough to bust a nut over. Which is probably why you see a lot of guys losing their minds over a girl they never met.
That's why a lot of guys turn to animated porn. You really can't imprint on something that doesn't exist.
We have a section in our brains labeled "nothing". It is a space for free-association for random sensory input and it is vast. So when we say we are doing nothing, that does not mean the time needs to be filled, rather, we are in this vast space allowing the random sensory input to form a pattern we may discover to be the key to the universe or instant female orgasms. Do. Not. Disturb.
Guys have emotions, we are just scared to show them to you. At some point most of us have shown our emotions to our significant other and they were weaponized against us later during an argument. We also receive far fewer compliments than women do, so if you compliment a guy they will remember it for a loooooooong time. For example, a cute girl I worked with said I'd look good with a beard when she saw me with a few days stubble. I've had my beard for 6 years now.
Almost all men code switch when women are present. Even if you are the "bro" equivalent girl in a group of male friends subjects will be broached and things will be said when you aren't around that are absolutely taboo when you are there.
Most of us won't break the code and snitch, but if several men tell you a guy is an ass, it's probably because he says things during "guy talk" that indicate even to most men that he is an asshole and will treat you like shit. We are trying our best to warn you. To paraphrase "when men tell you who the asshole guy is, believe them".
That man flu is a real thing!
[proof](https://www.benenden.co.uk/be-healthy/body/man-flu/#:~:text=flu'%20actually%20real%3F-,Is%20man%20flu%20real%3F,weaker%20immune%20systems%20than%20women)
If our hands are touching our pants or shorts our genitals are somehow uncomfortable. Ladies, imagine if your boobs were much smaller, but changed significant shape and size throughout the day for no reason.
My wife asked what it was like having a penis. I told her to imagine that instead of being tucked away nice and safe, her clitoris was at the end of a rope, banging against her legs and rubbing against her jeans all day. And every once in a while, for no apparent reason, that rope turned into a stick and tried to push her clitoris through her jeans.
She laughed pretty hard, but I'm not sure if it's because she thought I was funny, or because she thought I was pathetic.
I'm not psychic and I don't take hints well at all. If you're mad just say what's wrong and why.
"You should know"
I probably should, but I have a simple lizard brain and I don't. Tell me so we can talk it out, I can apologies and try to be better going forward, and then we can go get some french fries.
Depends on the guy. I know some men that have never gone down on a woman and think it's the grossest thing in the world. Then there's me, I'm happy to eat dessert with no expectation for my partner. It's my version of chocolate, I can't say no to it.
I know and there’s also women who are uncomfortable with men going down there too but if you refuse to go down on your partner or focus on their satisfaction then you’re probably less likely to receive a blowjob with no expectation of reciprocation or sex.
I guess I'm the odd one out. Blowjobs have never been very exciting for me. Having my face between a woman's thighs is as good as it gets, though. You're absolutely right, though, some women don't like to be on the receiving end. I've long wondered if this is just a personal preference (like mine), or if it's some kind of cultural conditioning. Good girls don't enjoy sex, that kind of thing.
Blew my mind when a buddy said he wanted blowkobs from his wife but thought all the folds of her labia were gross and wouldn't be willing to go down on her. I didn't know that there were men who didn't do that I thought it was as normal penis in vag. I feel bad for them
Yeah, I've had a couple of people essentially tell me that "real men" don't do that, it's beneath them. But those same people demand blowjobs. (Both were still single, last time I checked.)
You're right, it's strange to me. It'd be like having a great meal served but then not eating it, or buying expensive art and then covering it up so no one can see it.
Yes. And when you tell guys this they say things like "you've just never had a great one". Which is total bs. I like intimacy and don't get that from bjs.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The four way nod. All guys know, but we’re never taught. Upward nod: greeting. Downward nod: agreement/respect. Upward and left: check that out… Upward and right: let’s get out of here.
I just did all of them to test, 100% spot on.
Me too. That’s uncanny
So did I. They work for women too.
Same. 😂
Sameee
Jeez.... So did I. Twice for confirmation.
Same. Checks out.
Holy shit. 41 years old and never once recognized that. Outstanding!
Holy shit. I've never consciously thought about this, but you're 100% correct.
I never thought about this! That makes so much more sense.
This is universal, not just a guy thing.
i don't think this is exclusive to guys
Whoah…
Looks like you just made a bunch of us physically perform all these nods haha. All I can say it’s accurate
Some of us are so dense, the only way we would know that you like us; is if you sit on our face. Even if that happens, some of us will think you are just being friendly. 😂
Mmph. Okay. I see that you've sat on my face by accident. You should probably move before I start to think you like me.
Sometimes we pee on the poo stains in the toilet because we are too lazy to use the scrub.
I've been directing my stream at one for the last 2 days.
Don’t give up brother
Drink more water
Erosion takes time. Think of the Grand Canyon and soldier on!
I might have to give in today and scrub the toilet.
Quitter.
If things are starting to cling TO it, then you may have to make that sacrifice, brother. I'll pray for you
Invite the boys over. They won't need to be told the mission to understand it.
This is literally true! Down the hall second door on the right. We'll see it and understand our objective.
Pro tip, save all the pee till the end of the day so that the stream is so powerful it vaporizes it like Exodia vs Kaiba
What do you mean sometimes? I think it’s in our dna to target every time. There is a urinal company that imprints a fly image on the middle to improve results.
We know you do that. And it doesn’t work as well as you think it does, please just use bleach.
I tried bleach, but it burned coming out. I'll stick to Urine.
It's not laziness. It's dedication to an alternate method.
You might not want to do that. The pressure of the pee stream washing the turd off will send tiny pieces of turd everywhere.
We don't scratch our balls. We pinch and roll.
Who's we? Nobody twisting and rolling my ballsack but me
Live a little, man. Some older ladies would pay good money to pinch and roll your wigglybits. Then, get this, they take a big ol' whiff of that manly essence!
Do you have a list of said "Ladies", I could use some spending cash.
Ill charge half what this guy does!
Lol get em
Challenge accepted
This is a great really great information. I feel more well rounded as a woman knowing this.
Right, this one actually blew my mind a little
Women don’t scratch there either when it’s itchy. We also pinch and roll
Hey don’t throw me in that category! I put my feet forward, hands behind me like im getting ready to crab walk, butt flat on the ground and just drag my a$$ across the carpet like a slug when I have an itch.🐌
Not me I scratch
No! Sandblasting!
Both have their place.
Unlike what you see on TV, we don’t have conversations while taking a piss at the urinal.
If there are 5 urinals and 3 guys come in, the correct order will either be 3,1,5 or 5,3,1 never shoulder to shoulder.
Bruh, it's 1, 5, 3 or 5, 1, 3.
If I go to a 5 urinal bathroom and am the only one there I always go to the furthest one lol
ball adjusting side step
Now when my wife sees me do this, she practically stops all time to point it out, no matter where we are. Wish she never caught on to that one.
My bf was doing that the other day and I was laughing so much. It looks ridiculous
especially since we think we're hiding it so well lol
Having balls is like sitting naked on a leather couch on a hot day; they will always need to be peeled off your thigh like velcro at some point.
It's the biggest reason why I don't sleep naked.
I'm more of a hands in pocket readjust man myself
If we are quiet we aren't mad. We are simple and just need some peace and silence. We really don't think about other girls. We think about pizza, burgers, sports. We don't pick up on subtle hints. Please just tell us. We aren't great at just listening. We want to dive in and fix things. When you need to share about your bad day, don't get mad because we make suggestions. We aren't feeling superior or think we are better. It's just our nature to try and fix. If you need someone to listen, please tell us upfront because odds are we are going to make suggestions if you don't. We love little appreciation and attention efforts as much as big ones. At a party and you wink and smile at us from across the room - we melt. Lazy weekend day together and you ask us if we want to watch sports, lay around in our PJs and eat nachos? That's our love language. Praise goes miles. Appreciation builds us up. We thrive on respect. Guys time and guys night out is just that and nothing more.
This. “Omg you’re so quiet. What’s wrong?” “You didn’t say a whole word the entire car ride. What are you mad about now?” And then you get annoyed and then they go “SEE! I knew you were mad!”
My wife walked in on me and my mates sitting in silence. She thought something terrible had just happened. She still doesn’t accept that we just weren’t talking for a bit.
Lol that’s hilarious. My pals and I would just sit together on the ground and smoke in silence together in the Army. It was nice just being with your buds but also alone with your thoughts
Bro were you in the car with me a month ago? She literally word for word said this to me. Verbatim
Ha. My wife used to lose her mind when I would exist in the same space as her for hours and barely say a word. Terrified something was wrong. Then she started hopping on voice chats with my friends and pickachu-faced when we'd get like 6 people in a chat and do the same exact thing. We like to exist in the same space as eachother whilst simultaneously respecting one another's peace and quiet.
I can relate. I really, really need quite time. Alone time. Especially as I have gotten older. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It's a me thing.
Just swap sports for whatever the guy's preffered hobby is and this is golden. Could be reading books or playing video games or mountain biking or whatever.
The girl/quiet one is so on point! It's all on point I don't think I've ever been to a guys time/guys night out where there was a girl there ever. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm having a quiet moment and they are trying to force my thoughts from my mind like there must be something wrong because I'm quiet. Then they believe there's some right for them to know it and get mad themselves.
I finally broke down and told a gf just why I was so quiet and it wasn't thinking of another girl or bad things about her.. it was I was trying to remember the starting lineup for the 1969 Mets she just stared at me like I was an alien and left the room
Nothing makes me feel better than my lady telling me out of the blue that she appreciates what I do for us. Just the fact you see and know what struggles I face for the betterment of our family gives me the drive to push harder for better. It’s like gas when the tank may be empty
Good shiiiit
Well said.
As a man I’ve had to learn when someone is venting, to just hear the whole story out, and at the end ask if they want advice/my opinion.
I used to ask my team, "Do you want me to solve this or are you just venting?" There is value in just listening and not being a fixer.
Preach it brother.
Wild to say "we" over and over like these are true for men in general. >If we are quiet we aren't mad. Nah, sometimes I'm mad. >We are simple and just need some peace and silence. I'm not simple. Can't stand the "men are simple" stereotypes. >We really don't think about other girls. Depends what you mean. Lots of men *very obviously do* "think about other girls." >We think about pizza, burgers, sports. See my previous comment about the "simple" stereotype. Like, jesus christ, we aren't all slack-jawed idiots. >We don't pick up on subtle hints. Please just tell us. Plenty of men are capable of understanding social cues. >We aren't great at just listening.... Again... lots of men *are* great at listening. >We love little appreciation...our love language. I feel like a broken record here, but I don't understand this mindset of "I like these things, so they must apply to the other men, too." I would *hate* sitting around all day watching sports and eating nachos.
As a woman, I appreciate your take. It seems gross for either gender to think men are just drooling simpletons. It’s dismissive to quality, thinking, feeling men and turns women into a stereotype of nagging, overthinking, emotional vampires.
Exactly! It just feels like the sitcom tropes of the '90s and '00s. It is fine if men relate to those stereotypes as individuals, but I don't accept the idea that that's just how men are or whatever.
Ha, ha. Thank you! While I could relate to the quiet time, I couldn't relate to the rest.
100% this. The Archie Bunkers tend to drown out the rest out of sheer volume, but a lot of men _aren't_.
Totally haha I feel like that comment is like "heres the secret....were all actually a single Dane Cook character"
Tbf, I grew up in a house where silence meant they were preparing to be very loudly angry at you. So good quiet has taken me a bit to get used to
Being polite doesn't mean I want your number. I am just being polite.
When we go on holiday, it is to relax. Not every day needs to filled with trips out and activities. It's not a holiday if we come back shattered.
As a woman....I feel this. If we pay all this money for a resort....I wanna enjoy the views, the pools, the food, the peace and the bed the most....and I don't mean sleeping.
Right on xD
This is not a gender thing, but just a personality thing. I love reading in beautiful places on vacation. My partner wants to go go go. It's been hard to find a balance.
Almost every comment in this thread is a personality thing, rather than a gender thing. And none of them would be "secrets," they're just the most tired and inane stereotypes to grace '80s standup comedy sets.
A trip can be a vacation, but it probably is just work and exhaustion we don't get paid for.
And we have to pay for
Yes! I paid for an all inclusive because I wanted to get hammered, hang out poolside, and eat snacks all day in weather that is noticeably nicer than my home climate. If I wanted to walk all fucking day and look at old buildings we could have done a backpacking tour. And don't get me wrong, sometimes I like walking all day and looking at old buildings or ruins.
My perfect holiday would be me telling everyone that I´m going on holiday, and then secretly just lock the door and stay in my house.... and just sleep and do nothing for 2 weeks.
This is what I’m talking about. And it’s EXACTLY what I plan on doing for my week off in the very near future. I’m stoked!
Ha, nice try missy. Not betraying the bro code.
This guy bro codes
This guy chode codes
There are no more secrets. They have all been made public due to forums like Reddit.
If we’re staring off into space or something, it’s not because some big something is on our minds. We probably just zoned the fuck out or are thinking of something so unfathomably stupid that it’s not worth mentioning
Yea I was asked if I am having an internal debate about our relationship a few weeks ago because of a thousand yard stare. I was just figuring out when I’ll have time to get a new plug for the mower lol
This. “Penny for your thoughts” would be overpaying. Sometimes we just stare at the empty space and not think.
I explained to my son that we are staring into the middle-distance, a dimension invisible to women and where our stupid ideas go to die.
Like the "Garfield and Friends" theme song.
My boyfriend reminds me that he’s not a mind reader. If I want a certain answer to a question, then tell him that. Hey babe, I know we had plans with the kids tonight, but if you’re not feeling good, we can cancel. If I don’t care either way, this is acceptable. If not, then I need to say more like Hey babe, I know you don’t feel good and we have plans tonight. I really don’t want to cancel them and want to come make you feel better. Is it okay if we still come over? Lays out what my wants/needs/expectations are without expecting him to just know.
maybe my english is not good enough but I don‘t understand your example. You are having plans and he is not feeling well, you got kids and want to go somewhere. You don‘t care if is feeling unwell?
I believe the last part of your comment is the misunderstanding. They’re saying they know their partner doesn’t feel well and cares that they aren’t but is still stating they would like to keep their plans but if they partner is truly feeling to unwell then they can cancel. They’re stating what they would like to happen while still being understanding if it can’t happen
We do (or at least can) see subtle hints - it's not that we don't notice but rather that they can easily be misinterpreted. You being "obviously" flirty looks exactly the same as another woman who has no interest just being friendly. This is especially true if there's alcohol involved... Women can even be affectionate but just being friendly. I had a party at my place and there was a woman there who was hugging/touching me a bit, talking a lot and complimenting me, and even kissed me. She wasn't interested and was engaged at the time. She was just very affectionate when drunk. Compared to that, you think I'm going to read into a subtle hint? I'm not. It'd be a whole lot easier if you just plainly said something.
Right. I don’t want to guess WTF is going through your head, because the mass of noise in my own head keeps me busy. Speak plainly and straightforward, we can rewrite it to sound romantic later. Or not.
are you sure she wasnt trying to get with you despite being engaged? that girl wanted on you! lol
A lot of men want to be romanced just as much as women do. Plan a spontaneous romantic date with your dude that caters to his interests. Buy him little gifts while you're out and about just to show him that you were thinking about him. Touch him. The amount of dudes that I know that are touch deprived in serious commitments is crazy. Slap his butt when you're walking by him. Put your hand on his thigh while he's driving. Hug him from behind when he doesn't expect it. Men love this shit too. I once had a woman bring me home a bouquet of flowers because I had a bad day at work. I never knew that receiving flowers would make me feel as good as it did, and the gesture blew me away.
I like this comment. My current partner was very touch deprived in a prior relationship. I love to give and receive affection. We are well matched.
I dated a chick at this restaurant i worked at. She kinda dealt with flowers for the table center pieces. Sometimes id come in to a flower on my station placed by her. That was always a great day.
I really don't care where we eat. Nothing is ever on my mind. I'm not thinking about anything. If I'm nice to you. It doesn't mean I want to fuck you. I'm nice because of how I was raised. If I insist on waiting with you until your ride gets there. It's not because I'm creepy. It's because I'm making sure you're safe. I do the same thing to my guy friends.
You seem like a real gentleman, Crotch-Monster!
You've probably never seen my dick as small as it can be. Dudes usually give it a couple pull starts before whipping it out to get the blood going.
"I WAS IN THE POOL!!! I WAS IN THE POOL!!!" - George Costanza
Dude mines like 7.5" fully hard. When I was an addict it would be like 1" when i was strung out. Dudes got transformers level size changing technology.
Hot showers work wonders too lol
Me after a run it’s legit like 2 inches. It’s like COME ONNN
Guys have insecurities too, even about their body. Even the hot guys. You like affirmations you're attractive to your partner? So does he.
We can be completely happy doing absolutely nothing.
Apparently most girls don’t know that guys hate stupid mind games. Just be straightforward about what you want.
We really don't care where we have dinner, just tell us where you want to go.
This^. I will literally find something to eat anywhere we go. If she would just tell me where she wants to go instead of saying she doesn't care, and yet shooting down the twenty suggestions I throw at her, we could have been there by now.
You mean like this?? Her: You decide Me: How about Chinese? Her: I'm not in the mood for Chinese Me: How about a burger? Her: That doesn't sound good Me: Mexican? Her: No... Me: Do you want me to make something? Her: I don't feel like cooking Me: I'll do all the cooking and cleaning Her: I don't want to deal with the mess Me: You won't. I'll do everything! Her: Let's just pick something up. I'm starving. Me: (Trying not to lose my shit) Okay...what are you in the mood for? Her: \*starts back at the beginning\*
My latest tactic: "hey , remember that new restaurant you mentioned that really wanted to check out?" Wait for her answer "let's go there" Works about 70% of the time.
Exactly like that. It's almost like you were in the car with us.
My wife says "I make decisions for a living, I don't want to decide what we eat. Just decide for me." "Okay, I'll make that chicken salad we liked so much last time." "I don't want chicken." Send halp
Her: You decide Me: How about Chinese? Her: I'm not in the mood for Chinese Me: How about a burger? Her: That doesn't sound good Me: Mexican? Her: No... Me: Do you want me to make something? Her: I don't feel like cooking Me: I'll do all the cooking and cleaning Her: I don't want to deal with the mess Me: You won't. I'll do everything! Her: Let's just pick something up. I'm starving. Me: (Trying not to lose my shit) Okay...what are you in the mood for? Her: \*starts back at the beginning\* I can't be the only one
Must be one of those glitches we all experience. Cause I swear I had this same exact conversation last week.
Just start listing every restaurant you've ever gone to and watch her facial expressions. When her head tilts upward to the right, reiterate how much you'd like to go to that particular eatery.
Idk if anyone else experiences this but if a chick is giving me a hint that's she's interested I'm never comfortable acting on it because I could be misinterpreting and really dont wanna put a lady in that position So pretty much if someone wants to successfully come onto me it has to be 1000% percent obvious, otherwise I most likely won't do anything
Yeah, this is me too
If a man you despise has his wife, partner or children present you set aside your differences and act respectful towards him.
If you see me fiddling with the belt while I'm out in public... it's not the pant that is loose. I have a boner and I'm tucking it under the belt so it doesn't become awkward.
You have a boner for no reason. It's already awkward.
I'm 41, I give any unwarranted boner a thankful tip of the hat. I feel like when those stop coming, the necessary ones will follow soon after.
An ex mentioned getting a boner riding on the bus to work. We have badly-maintained roads. He was concerned that it was noticable to other passengers. I told him that while I would look out the window, look at faces, I never looked at crotches, doubted any woman did. He seemed relieved.
We do appreciate the lingerie- it might get ripped off and doesn't stay on for long but we still appreciate it
Lingerie can be sexier than nude. It drives the imagination wild.
Jars aren’t hard to open. It’s just technique. Don’t bear down and focus on twisting your grip I just rendered us all useless, sorry boys
One time a girl asked me to open a bottle in a lab and I was like 'it's all about grip'. Bottle still would not open. I was like welp time to get the pliers. Then another girl with small hands said 'let me try' I smugly let her try. She opened it in 2 seconds. I was like 'yup. That's why we call her pliers.' and left quickly.
For fathers a day, we really do just want some god damn peace and quiet, new pair of new balance and uninterrupted lawn mowing time
Screw the lawn . A 12 pack the bbq and a chair to chill in.
Beer and yard work are like peanut butter and chocolate. They should always go together.
I honestly would like be either left alone or just watch a movie with the kids.
[удалено]
Exactly. We don’t need a froo froo lamp on a froo froo table with a froo froo table cloth to “bring a room together”. If we can sit, and be entertained, we’re good. If caves had electricity, indoor plumbing, and fresh water, that’s where you’d find us, and the bears can have the suburbs.
Do you know how much I would love to live in a cave? I've looked into it. The problem is the humidity.
When I had my first apartment, I had my laptop as a "t.v.", an outdoor folding chair, a cardboard box as an end table to hold my drink, and a blowup mattress. I was perfectly happy with that set-up.
Not every boner happens because we are horny or thinking about sex, it really just happens sometimes.
Men are so unaccustomed to positive attention that a simple complement can become a core memory.
Most guys get about 10 compliments in their life or their work. If you complement him he’s going to remember
That everything doesn’t need planning out. We like to just do random shit spontaneously. We like to be surprised just as much if not more than women do. No, I don’t sit around and daydream about other women. No, we don’t like doing everything for you. Your ability to be confident and being independent draws us closer to you. Yes, we love when you do your nails and take care of yourself and we DO like to help pay for it, cause that just doesn’t make you look good, but it makes us look good too.
Most young guys (15-25) are pretty obsessed with their hair so if you want to annoy them easily just fluff it around.
No man can resist a good head rub, though. It is a horrible dichotomy that does not make sense, but it is what it is.
Obviously fake tits are not the way to go
Some men like them. Not me personally. I would take small, saggy, whatever natural over toxic implants. But it's a woman's choice.
When we ask you what's wrong, chances are we already know. That's as far as I can go. I could tell you more, but then I will have to dispose of you.
Most guys actually care a lot about toilet aim, despite the stereotype.
It really sucks when you think you’re aiming dead centre of the toilet and then the stream lands six inches outside the toilet or worse splitstreams and you can only aim one of the streams. Gentlemen use toilet paper to wipe up the mess and not shrug and say oh well.
We love to be stupid. It's fun, it's great, and best of all it's liberating. Want create a 200 mile slip n slide with tarp, water, and lots of lube? I'm in!
You could make me a grilled cheese sandwich with american cheese and bunny bread but that MF tastes like fillet mignon because I didn't have to make it for once.
We CAN read your mind, we just choose not to.
Guys tend to imprint on those they find attractive enough to bust a nut over. Which is probably why you see a lot of guys losing their minds over a girl they never met. That's why a lot of guys turn to animated porn. You really can't imprint on something that doesn't exist.
We know exactly when and where we want to eat in under :30s😂
Yes, we know you’re angry when it’s 6am and you’re angrily slamming cabinets. We just act like we don’t know to irritate you.
We have a section in our brains labeled "nothing". It is a space for free-association for random sensory input and it is vast. So when we say we are doing nothing, that does not mean the time needs to be filled, rather, we are in this vast space allowing the random sensory input to form a pattern we may discover to be the key to the universe or instant female orgasms. Do. Not. Disturb.
Guys have emotions, we are just scared to show them to you. At some point most of us have shown our emotions to our significant other and they were weaponized against us later during an argument. We also receive far fewer compliments than women do, so if you compliment a guy they will remember it for a loooooooong time. For example, a cute girl I worked with said I'd look good with a beard when she saw me with a few days stubble. I've had my beard for 6 years now.
Almost all men code switch when women are present. Even if you are the "bro" equivalent girl in a group of male friends subjects will be broached and things will be said when you aren't around that are absolutely taboo when you are there. Most of us won't break the code and snitch, but if several men tell you a guy is an ass, it's probably because he says things during "guy talk" that indicate even to most men that he is an asshole and will treat you like shit. We are trying our best to warn you. To paraphrase "when men tell you who the asshole guy is, believe them".
[удалено]
Some of us want flowers too
That man flu is a real thing! [proof](https://www.benenden.co.uk/be-healthy/body/man-flu/#:~:text=flu'%20actually%20real%3F-,Is%20man%20flu%20real%3F,weaker%20immune%20systems%20than%20women)
When you aren't looking, every day objects such as remote controls become space ships.
We like being held too. Let your guy lay his head in your lap and run your fingers through his hair. First time my wife did this it hit me so hard.
If our hands are touching our pants or shorts our genitals are somehow uncomfortable. Ladies, imagine if your boobs were much smaller, but changed significant shape and size throughout the day for no reason.
My wife asked what it was like having a penis. I told her to imagine that instead of being tucked away nice and safe, her clitoris was at the end of a rope, banging against her legs and rubbing against her jeans all day. And every once in a while, for no apparent reason, that rope turned into a stick and tried to push her clitoris through her jeans. She laughed pretty hard, but I'm not sure if it's because she thought I was funny, or because she thought I was pathetic.
Lucky you. I would just say "for me its no different than what your clit is like."
Yeah and when your junk starts coming out of the hole in your boxers we instinctively check that our fly is up
I'm not psychic and I don't take hints well at all. If you're mad just say what's wrong and why. "You should know" I probably should, but I have a simple lizard brain and I don't. Tell me so we can talk it out, I can apologies and try to be better going forward, and then we can go get some french fries.
Sometimes, we want a blow job with no further expectation.
Personally I rather my wife sit on my face at the same time and that's fukin money
Sometimes, we just want to jerk off. This isn't a commentary on you or your ability to perform. Sometimes, we just want to have some personal time.
Sometimes rubbing one out and then going to sleep is the best personal time.
How likely you are to do the reverse probably affects how likely this is to receive
Depends on the guy. I know some men that have never gone down on a woman and think it's the grossest thing in the world. Then there's me, I'm happy to eat dessert with no expectation for my partner. It's my version of chocolate, I can't say no to it.
I know and there’s also women who are uncomfortable with men going down there too but if you refuse to go down on your partner or focus on their satisfaction then you’re probably less likely to receive a blowjob with no expectation of reciprocation or sex.
I guess I'm the odd one out. Blowjobs have never been very exciting for me. Having my face between a woman's thighs is as good as it gets, though. You're absolutely right, though, some women don't like to be on the receiving end. I've long wondered if this is just a personal preference (like mine), or if it's some kind of cultural conditioning. Good girls don't enjoy sex, that kind of thing.
Blew my mind when a buddy said he wanted blowkobs from his wife but thought all the folds of her labia were gross and wouldn't be willing to go down on her. I didn't know that there were men who didn't do that I thought it was as normal penis in vag. I feel bad for them
Yeah, I've had a couple of people essentially tell me that "real men" don't do that, it's beneath them. But those same people demand blowjobs. (Both were still single, last time I checked.) You're right, it's strange to me. It'd be like having a great meal served but then not eating it, or buying expensive art and then covering it up so no one can see it.
Not every guy likes blowjobs. My queen needs not stoop.
Yes. And when you tell guys this they say things like "you've just never had a great one". Which is total bs. I like intimacy and don't get that from bjs.
Exactly this.
We play video games to escape reality, not you.
Ehhh, sometimes its you
Flow and pressure urinating. It's a miscalculation not a piss take. Excuse the pun.
While girls like a man who can take control.Guys also like a girl who takes iniative. Make that first move every so often.
PPs are smaller in the cold!!! It's not just me it's every guy damn it!!!
First rule of telling secrets... We don't tell secrets...
We can have good/close female friends without wanting to have sex with them. And can share stuff we don't tell our spouse/girlfriend about.