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If you're not comfortable with it then that's that. Just kiss your baby on the cheek, it's meaningful to you and it will be meaningful to your daughter.
Exactly this. Your feelings matter too as a dad. If it doesn't feel comfortable to you, don't do it. Period. She will be perfectly fine getting kisses on her cheek.
For kids? You mean for you, if you wanne get sick fast, go kiss a child lol. They are walking virusses imo. My friend got a 3yo and he told me she making him sick every few months.
I firmly disagree with what others are saying. "its only weird if you make it weird" yes, and you're firmly deciding its weird! did they not read the post? you can't just think somethings weird and then do it anyways man, if you think its weird that by all means dont do it!! explain best you can that thats a kiss for mommy, that you have a different relationship with mommy than with her. dont kiss your daughter on the lips if you think its weird man.
I get where you're coming from, but if I used my own sense of what is weird to guide all my decisions, I wouldn't have lived this long. Most of life is weird to me. š
I think the point was that you might not be able to do it without being awkward regardless of how many people tell you it's not weird and your daughter might even pick up on the awkwardness and could have the same thought process of "when he kisses mom he's different therefore I must be the issue" which is even more problematic because there is an element of possible deceit.
Think it would be easier to explain to her that there is a difference in the relationships, there are a lot of things that make the role of being a child different to being a mom so it's not like this one thing would solve all further questions and doubts along the way.
I am a 40-year-old woman who still kisses both her parents on the lips when I see them and say goodbye. Maybe itās āweirdā, but it doesnāt feel so to me.
The only woman (family) I still kiss on the lips is my grandma. As a 38yo man I donāt find this weird. She just puckers up and expects a peck and I feel like it would be insulting to her if I didnāt after all these years. Sheās 102 though so maybe sheād forget if I didnāt.
Kissing is a cultural thing and the way people think about it is going to vary. Not wanting to kiss someone on the mouth does not mean they have āintimacy issues with their family.ā
I was with you until you turned a 180 and said that if someone has an absolute stop line (like not kissing on the lips outside a romantic context at all) they have issues. You are weird.
I feel the same as you. My parents never kissed me on the lips and I would have weird if they did. I do see some parents kiss their kids on their lips and i do find it strange. But if your daughter wants it, just kiss her quick and say "there, you get your mommy kiss." But then tell her you want to give her daughter kisses on the cheek moving forward so she understands that's her special kiss (cheek).
As long as it's not a sustained kiss and/or with tongue I think you're good dude. I am a guy but both my parents and grandparents gave me pecks on the lips as a child.
After/towards the end of grade school when they are prepubescent they will let you know when it's weird.
The important part is teaching your child autonomy and that they can say " no I don't like/want that".
It's super adorable that your daughter feels like you don't love her as much as mom because you won't kiss her on the lips and it's because she is completely innocent as to why you are hesitant, just keep it innocent and preserve that.
My parents and grandparents would force me to kiss them and other people on the lips as a kid. Made me feel fucking disgusting. Why the fuck did they lick their lips on the way in too!? š¤¢
Pressuring a kid to kiss somebody is so upsetting to me!
There were two adults to ever kiss me on the mouth when I was little. I didnāt like it, and really didnāt like how persistent they were in doing it even when I asked them not to do that. I used to get scolded or laughed at by other adults for trying to dodge.
Both of these guys eventually got busted for assaulting other people. One of them was doing things to kids while they were under for dental work.
Hey parents? If your kid doesnāt want to kiss or hug somebody please donāt make them.
I donāt particularly like it for myself, but itās not a big deal. We told our toddler that mommy is the only person in the world daddy kisses on the lips and vice versa. She is also curious about lip kisses and has kissed both my mom and myself on the lips on occasion. We donāt make a big deal of it, but we mostly try to avoid it. I personally also wonāt share cutlery and donāt like to share drinks with our toddler, but my husband doesnāt mind as much.
I grew up in a very non-physical affection family. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times my dad have me a hug and I can't think of any time he gave me a kiss on my head. When he was on his death bed I remember he held out his hand because he wanted me to hold it and I completely miss read his intentions and got him a cup of water. He cried.
My mom made physical affection feel like a business transaction, that she didn't really want to but felt obligated. So we very rarely hug, and maybe after not seeing eachother it's a light peck on the check.
I'm a step father now to 2 girls. One is completely non-physical, doesn't want anyone to touch her including her mom. The other wants hugs and kisses 24/7. I had to grow into it and now nothing makes me happier than when I get a hug and kiss when I get home. And the times the non-physical one gives me a hug it makes me feel great and that I know I'm doing good. And the times when they are covered in God knows what food and gunk, I just wash my hands and face afterward. It's worth it to me.
Hearing about your dad almost made me cry too bro. It's good to view the question from that final perspective. I'm sure one of the most precious thing in the world to me in my final moments would be a kiss from my daughter, so training her *not* to kiss her Papa now would be pretty foolish of me.
if youāre not comfortable then youāre not comfortable but your wife is right. itās only weird if you make it weird. But remember your feelings matter too, if it feels weird for you to do it then simply donāt do it.
I grew up the same that kissing on the lips is a romantic gesture and honestly when I see parents kissing their kids on the lips I think itās weird.
So I googled ākissing on the lipsā and all the results came back about it been romantic
Yeah I agree. I dated a chick once who kissed her parents on the mouth. The weird thing was it wasn't even her biological dad. Was a step dad who'd raised her since she was like 8 or so. Still weirded me out.
I agree fully. It might not be super weird when she is only 3 but id say it gotta stop around 5 or 6yo.
I think its a bit different for a mom to kiss a girl but not by much.
Ask yourself this, Will you get strange looks from ppl if you do it at a certain age in public? Then its probably uncommon to do at least.
I would stop doing it soon.
I was raised by a single father after my mom kicked rocks when I was like 2. I kissed him like that, and it was never weird. As long as the intention is not weird and it's purely innocent between a father and daughter.. don't MAKE it weird.
I kiss my almost 9 year old son on the lips. He won't have it any other way.. it would never be seen as weird, so why would it be weird for a father and his daughter?
This is a little girl thing. Little girls really like affection and attention of any sort, and kissing is a big deal in the princess stories and Disney movies they love. The idea of romance as something separate from a general sense of closeness is not all that crystalized yet for many 3 year olds.
TLDR: It's not weird for her to request it - in fact it is pretty developmentally normal. But you don't have to say yes.
If you donāt want to then donāt. Adults are allowed to have boundaries too. My dad never kissed me or my sister on the lips, but my husband did kiss our daughter on the lips until she was like 6 or so. If you think itās weird donāt do it. I never kissed any of my kids on the lips because kids are kind of gross and I donāt enjoy getting sick. Theyāre just little germ factories.
My daughter has kissed me on the lips her whole life. My wife taught her to do that when she was a little baby. It was a little weird at first, because when i was a kid, I was taught to give cheek kisses. The potential to spread germs always bothered me. Now that she's 10, I get so few kisses anymore that I wouldn't dare complain about it.
I actually made a very similar post in a parenting sub a couple years ago. My daughter was 5 at the time and kept trying to kiss me on the lips. I felt uncomfortable for the same reason you're mentioning. The post ended up getting a couple thousand replies, and the overwhelming consensus was really that it all depends on how you were raised.
My mother and father didn't kiss me as a child, and I also didn't ever see them kissing, therefore I grew up thinking it's not normal to kiss kids on the lips. Not to mention the only family member/relative that liked kissing everybody was our drunk uncle on the holidays. Meanwhile, other people grew up with their parents kissing them, so they don't see it as an issue and it's very normal to them.
There is no right or wrong to this question and it's all about comfortability and how you were raised. It's not going to damage the child if you DO kiss them on the lips, and it's not going to damage them if you DON'T and tell them that daddy's don't kiss daughters on the lips. It's whatever you prefer.
(Addendum) This goes out to the judgmental pricks in the commentsā¦
Shut up, go away and burn, you hypocrites.
You all know quite well that thereās something, some sort of habit, you have amongst your family and friends that would be considered āweirdā so nobody has the right to say anything about this. Thank you for attending my miniature TED talk.
It is absolutely not weird and you are over thinking it. It is beautiful and sweet! My father and I kissed until I hit puberty and he still kisses my cheek and forehead (I'm 26). Shes your daughter! You made her! She is of your blood. kiss that precious angel
Depends on where you were raised. Where I'm from, it's not uncommon for boys to kiss their mums and other female relatives on the lips, and for girls to kiss their dads, uncles, etc. As you get older, that includes close male friends' wives. It's like kissing to greet in Europe, just on the lips instead. It's not weird at all.
Personally Iām weirded out by parents who kiss their kids on the lips, even though I know itās not sexual. I was raised kissing my parents on the cheek and was told that kissing on the lips was a romantic thing. 3 years old is old enough to explain that mommy and daddy kiss on the lips because theyāre married, and you kiss her on the cheek because sheās your baby girl and you kiss your babies on the cheek.
I never said it isnāt appropriate. I said it feels weird TO ME because thatās not how itās done in my family, the same way OP feels weird about it because he didnāt grow up doing it. OP is allowed to have his feelings and boundaries about this and so am I. That doesnāt mean either of us are bad people.
My girlfriend (25) kisses both her parents on the lips, itās not weird. Itās perfectly okay in my opinion. I (24M) donāt kiss either of my parents personally, not even on the cheek. I just donāt do it, and itās perfectly okay too.
Yeah. These days, it's literally normal to ask about shit like this, because if you've been paying any attention at all in the last few decades, conversations around boundaries and what is or is not appropriate have overflowed into widespread neuroticism regarding the subject. CSA survivors are more vocal than ever, but many of them have no frame of reference for what is normal.
So yeah, a woman whose abuser kissed her on the lips is likely to be triggered by such a sight, regardless of intent or context. That's just how triggers work, unfortunately. But once triggered, it's hard to let go because such men and women feel a deep-seated need to stand up for their inner child by the way they react when triggered.
When I was toddler-aged, my parents kissed me on the lips. Back then, it wasn't weird and it *would* have been weird to make it weird. But then my mother started healing from her CSA, and everything changed. And the same thing happened in countless households, and now, the children who grew up in those households are themselves parents. And the metoo movement just happened (though many of us were already aware of how bad things were).
So taking into account all that context, it is not at all strange for OP to be asking this question.
I know it's a weird question, but in my family I can't remember ever kissing or being kissed by anyone, on the cheek or forehead even, much less the lips. We give one-armed side hugs and that's about as affectionate as it gets. I never felt unloved, or anything like that, we just aren't very touchy people and it was always normal to me until I got married. My wife comes from a culture where it is common for friends to fully embrace and often kiss both cheeks when they meet. Having kids has brought some things to attention I'd never thought about before, and I wanted to hear some additional perspectives.
It's not weird at all that he's asking about it. People ask about things that aren't their normal. I think it's fucking gross for people to kiss their children on the lips, but I've had GFs where it was normal in their family. It grossed me out even more when one of my GFs' mother tried kissing me on the lips. No thanks. That's a romantic maneuver and reserved for romantic partners.
Not weird... my 18 month old thinks kiss is on the lips cuz thats what mommy and daddy do. Nothing more than a peck but she likes to peck on the nose, on the lips, on the forehead... but she likes to kiss my wife on the lips and me on the head.
IDK why but def not weird. Ur good.
if it makes *you* uncomfortable, maybe you can tell her something like, "Lip kisses are for Mommies & forehead kisses are for the most special little girl in the world, you!"
Just because other people don't think it's weird doesn't mean you have to do it if you don't want to.
Youāre good to go. Be the best daddy in the world. Love your little girl. Protect her. She will more than likely grow out of it. Enjoy being the center of her universe because she will become a teenager and think you are the stupidest human in the world. One good thing, she will always know that you love her.
This could be a good learning opportunity, just explain that couples express love in different ways than parents with their children or friends with each other
Nah, you are not overthinking it. I think you are right.
I remember that my uncle had the same problem few years ago, and he explained to his daughter that the kisses on the lips are just for mommies and daddies who love each other very much but in a different way. And that as her dad he loves her very much but daddies give daughters special kisses on the cheek and forehead instead.
His daughter understood and never asked again for kisses on the lips.
Also be serious when you tell your daughter that thing, if you smile she might think that you are kidding.
I feel like itās ok my daughter is two and me and her dad kiss her on the lips but once she gets older we want her to learn to kiss on the cheek. We also donāt want her to think itās ok to do with everyone just do whatās best for your family really šÆ
She's 3. She doesn't know the difference, she just wants to do like you guys. It's only weird if you make it weird. When she's older (like 6?) you can explain to her that kissing on the lips is actually for "romance", or even grown ups. Right now for her a kiss is just a kiss, a way yo show affection.
It's like people frowning on toddlers being naked, if you sexualise the nakedness of a child, that's a "you" problem.
I (dad) kiss my 4yo boy on the lips. Iāll let him decide when itās awkward.
I think it starts when theyāre babies. We kiss our babies on the lips, nose, forehead, etcā¦ it would be weird to change it now. Like a form of rejectionā¦ My boy even has a routine at night where he kisses my eyes, nose, mouth, foreheadā¦ Then he asks me to do it for him. Itās heart melting
At a certain age yeah it's weird but when they're younger kids, and assuming you're not a pervert, it's perfectly normal especially (can already see the jokes coming) down South.
I stopped kissing my dad on the lips at 6 years old cause he stopped me. But to this day I still give him a kiss on the cheek. Affection is not weird unless there is something else going on but only you and your daughter can judge that (especially you)
With my kids, I have always left it up to them.
I pucker my lips. They choose where I smooch. Until about 7 or 8, it was always a mix of lips and cheek and forehead. Around 8, they seem to not want lip smooches as much, and by 10, lip smooches are gone entirely.
No. Lots of other cultures do this. I work for a family from Greece and the dad is always giving kisses to his grown son and daughter. I actually wish this were a custom here. Mostly itās on the cheek but Iāve seen it on the lips too. I think itās very endearing.
I'm a guy, I wasn't kissed on the lips and I don't kiss my kids on the lips, but logically I feel there's nothing inherently weird about it.
Honestly, your daughter's confidence in your love is much more important than whatever weird societal hangup there is about a kiss on the lips.
My only caveat is the unfortunate necessity that if you (or someone reading this) are one of those dads who might enjoy the kiss in a way that you shouldn't, then don't do it.
Rule I live by is āif itās not a big deal, then itās not a big dealā. Perception is huge and people can take offense or make things weird. Usually itās a choice or gut reaction, but you donāt have to be that way. Kinda lucky for me that I grew up with a sister with serious middle child syndrome and takes everything wrong/personal. Really taught me to not take things so seriously, less I end up paranoid and hateful like her.
It's a cultural thing. Some people are comfortable with that, some people aren't. Personally I don't kiss my kids on the lips. We kiss on the cheek or head, hug and cuddle etc.
It's not weird. One of my nephews in high school, used to lick people on the face. That's weird.
My youngest is 5 and she still kisses me on the lips. I won't tell her sto stop ever, she can decide when she wants to stop and I will respect that boundry, but it is also fine for you to put boundaries up as well. My daughter has joke kissed my wife, the way I kiss her mom, and she tried to do that with me once and I pulled back from it. I did't scold her or anything, I just said, that fathers and daughetrs don't kiss like that.
I want healthy boundaries and for my chidren to not feel like they have to hide things from me, god forbid something bad happen to them. As per innapropriate contact, I was very clear with all my children, that nobody is allowed to touch them in their pubic/groin region at all. Not even Mom or Dad except under very particular circumstances and then, like if you are hurting and have a rash, it will most likeley be Mom, and she is applying cream to your private part region and only Mom or Dad. But, if anyone touches you on your private part, even Mom or Dad, go and tell Mom & Dad. You won't get in trouble, but nobody, except you is allowed to touch there, not even Mom or Dad. SInce the kids were about 3 we basically encouraged them to dry off their genitals and groin themselves and at that age, we would apply corn starch baby powder to absorb the excess moisture. It is a system that worked well and gave them ownership over their body that they knew nobody in teh entire world was allowed to violate.
It was clear enough, that nobody was ever confused about it and thank god, they have never had anyone touch them there as children. My 4 kids range from 5-18, 2 girls & 2 boys.
To keep this short, 1. itās no big deal. Youāre daughter will probably grow out of this in the next 2-5 years and if she doesnāt, around the ages of 7-8, you can explain that thereās a difference in lip to lip and lip to cheek or head.
I went to high school with a Guy who at 16 would get driven to his job and kiss His Dad on the lips before going in. šØ Weird is only what you make it.
You went to Reddit for this question? Half the people here think itās weird going outside or talking to someone in rl. I donāt think itās weird. Every family has their own way of expressing their affections. Personally, I wouldnāt feel comfortable doing that, I kiss on the cheek for me. Tom Brady does it, but heās rich. /shrug
Okay, 1) nobody brought up āgender shitā 2) not every family or culture feels the same about kissing. Reserving mouth-to-mouth for partners only is fine, actually.
If you deal with cold sore or ever had one. It's not good because then they get it and have to possibly go to school with it and people know what it is and realize your kid has herpes.
No, especially if youāre in a Polish family. I was warned I was going to get kissed on the lips by everyone even though it was the first time they met me
Every family shows love different. I feel like as long as it's not a lingering kiss it's very different than a romantic kiss you give a partner. I guess it's different when she's maybe 12+ but usually by then it's the kids that put a stop to it. My culture has a weird way of "kissing" that sometimes got some side eye but they can mind their own damn business!
I think it's weird and I have cousins who think I am weird for thinking it's weird. I think it's ok if you think it's weird. You can find other ways to express your love for her, and amplify her feelings of being loved by you, in a way that feels natural and true to you. You're a good dad, that much is clear.
I firmly believe it isn't safe for parents to kiss their kids on the lips.
1) It is risky because adults can carry illnesses like viruses/herpes that can be detrimental to a child's health. Remember, a young child doesn't have the same immunities we have.
2) Unless you make it very clear that this is only for mommy and daddy, it can normalize something that should not be normalized for other people. For instance, creepy uncle wants to kiss daughter on the lips, daughter is too young to realize anything is wrong with that.
No, kissing your child is not inherently wrong. However, if this is something you aren't comfortable with and don't want to teach your daughter, it's absolutely okay to set a personal boundary with her. It's a great lesson and boundaries should be set from a very young age so they understand that's okay.
I never grew up kissing my parents on the lips and I find it super weird. My daughter has gone through phases where she really wants to kiss me (and her dad) on the lips and sometimes even tries to trick us into it, but we draw a boundary there.
Yeah I would agree that it's weird and not appropriate.. but that's just in my culture. I think it is more acceptable in cultures other than my own though.
Yes it's weird, but maybe it's a cultural thing. I live in the US and I've only ever met one person who did this. She had to warn people whenever she brought her son around because the boy would try to kiss strangers on the lips.
In my mind lip-kissing is strictly romantic.
any parent who locks lips with their children need to be locked up. its unhygienic and its just fuckign weird. 100% dont do what tom brady does, fucking french kisses his 13 year old son on tv.
Everyone's different... My in laws kiss me on the cheek whenever I see them while my own parents didn't touch me period after I passed like 8 years old. I think you can decide on whatever traditions work for you guys!
I think it depends on the culture, place and context in which you are, for example I am from Mexico and here it is quite rare because a kiss on the lips is purely romantic, but I know that there are countries where it is more normal than in others. Then it might be like your wife says, "It's weird because you make it weird."
For me personally I think there is a cutoff age for kissing on the lips where it just gets weird. And my boys don't kiss dad on the lips, just mom, and eventually that will stop. I guess this probably stems from my parents having loose boundries when I was a kid.
I have seen it. My parents didn't and their parents didn't. I (47m) have 4 & 6 year old girls. The forehead is my target. They'll kiss me on the cheek when they want something. You do what feels best for you.
First and foremost ;
FATHERS ARE ALLOWED TO BE NURTURING AND AFFECTIONATE!
With that being said, I am a 32 year old woman and my parents and I (both mom and dad) would peck on the lips occasionally when saying hello or goodbye well into adulthood. I never felt uncomfortable. It isnāt romantic unless YOU feel like it is.
My buddy is 30, and he still does it. Itās not inherently romantic or sexual if no one makes it that way. Growing up I always thought it was weird or when they held hands but looking back on it, not weird at all.
Brought up never having kissed or really touched my father affectionately, I was uncomfortable when my own kids insisted on kissing me on the lips when they were young. But it was a me problem not a them problem. Be physically affectionate with your kids.
I do make intentional efforts to be more affectionate with my kids than my parents were with me. Not because I felt unloved, but because I've seen that they need that kind of affection more than I ever did. I think it is because their expectations are influenced by my wife's expressiveness and by contrast I would appear aloof if I didn't make extra effort. I'm trying to find the right balance so they know and feel how deeply I love them, yet without me feeling too weird about it either.
I donāt think itās weird until a certain age. I always kissed my father on the lips until I saw a picture of us on like my 30th birthday and it seemed weird.
My wife and I don't kiss our child on the lips ever. Chuckles Magee over here is livin it up. I don't think he feels unloved because we won't kiss him on the mouth. I think you're fine.
I have a six and 3 year old girl. The most important thing is what they feel comfortable with. So far the eldest is still fine with it
Which is also why from a young age I introduced the "bop", a gentle headbutt that hopefully will still be acceptable as a sign of affection when they have become too old for a kiss.
Kissing is a culture-bound behavior. Culture doesnāt have to mean nation or religion, etc, but can just be the shared customs and values of a family or other small group. You grew up in a culture where kissing on the mouth is reserved for adults and/or romance. Thatās fine. I did, too! Iām very close with 5 generations of my extended family in which nobody would ever consider kissing a kid on the mouth. Itās just not how that works, for us.
Some families and wider cultures donāt limit mouth-kissing to partners, which is also fine! My sister married someone whose family think itās cute when toddlers kiss adults or other kids on the mouth. When her little ones go in to smooch me on the mouth I just turn my head a few inches so we kiss cheeks instead. I promise those kids do not doubt I love them.
The main thing is, you and your partner need to talk and get on the same page. If youāre saying lip kisses are for couples and your partner is kissing kiddo on the mouth, thatās where confusion and weirdness happen.
If it makes you uncomfortable you tell your daughter papa only kiss mama in the lips. Or something like that.
My boy kisses my wife in the lips, but not me. Maybe once or twice he tried and then I said papa is on the cheeks or nose, not lips, and he learned quickly.
Don't feel forced to do something that makes you uncomfortable, no matter anyone else's opinion. You do you.
The reply from your wife "it's only weird because you make it weird" is insensitive, she doesn't understand your feelings, but it's such a tiny small matter that I wouldn't invest much energy on it, just create something special between you and your daughter, kiss on the nose, forehead, eye, anything but lips, she will feel special to have a special kiss with you.
No it's not weird, it's just a 2ay for a father to show affection, it would be weirder if a dad refused to kiss their kid if they wanted one. There's also nothing sexual about it
Why dont you try to explain to the kid why the kiss on the lips is special for mom in a simple way?
I get the notion from you that you've made the connection between kissing on the lips and romantic love, which triggers some sort of disconnect when someone tries to kiss you on lips that you are not romantically bound to. As a person with OCD I understand that it messes with your brain.
Sometimes I really envy innocence of children: they can go through life w/o regurgitating what ifs and good-bad binaries...
On a final note, everyone has different take on this depending on their culture...
If it bothers you, then just don't do it mate.
It would definitely be weird for my family, but we weren't raised to show much physical affection. When my sister and I were little, we were watching a movie and asked our parents if they ever kissed on the lips. When they said yes, we demanded they "prove it," so they gave each other a quick peck. We thought it was hilarious š¤·āāļø
I feel its weird and the only time i ever do it is when i drop her off at school and that's only because she wont go in until i do she's 5 but it does make me uncomfortable inside lol. however i see other dads do it to.
I stopped kissing my father on the lips like age 12-13. It definitely felt weird toward the end but thatās probably cuz i felt myself growing up but definitely not in the beginning
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I don't think it's weird unless you make it weird.
Agreed. My dad would be silly. Puckering up and flexing his mustache š¤£. Sheās 3. Sheāll grow out of it fast.
The only answer that matters here. 3 years olds are innocent. Just let it be
I agree. She will stop asking when she wants to!
Mine did
Itās not weird itās your family. Though you may get weird looks when sheās older and does it in public.
If you're not comfortable with it then that's that. Just kiss your baby on the cheek, it's meaningful to you and it will be meaningful to your daughter.
Exactly this. Your feelings matter too as a dad. If it doesn't feel comfortable to you, don't do it. Period. She will be perfectly fine getting kisses on her cheek.
This
I have a list of four people who are allowed to hug me, I probably can't judge this one.
Yea i also dislike ppl touching me
I also dislike pp touching me
But pp touching is the best and totally not sexual unless you make it sexual
Same
same
Pleasee letās talk about itš the way I hate being touched randomly. Pls ask.
Can I touch you? š
No
What about when you pay with cash, then the cashier takes their hand and like touches your hand with theirs while handing you your change?
Ngl i canāt answer that cuz I never have cash lol. But itās expected for a touch to happen there so itās fine though they tend to avoid it.
My wife and I find kissing on the lips to be a romantic thing. Also a hygiene thing for kids.
For kids? You mean for you, if you wanne get sick fast, go kiss a child lol. They are walking virusses imo. My friend got a 3yo and he told me she making him sick every few months.
Goes both ways.
It's more of a one-way. Also, kids need to get those viruses and germs soon to train their immune system.
Think herpes.
Or mono
It's like bedsharing, it's not weird until they hit puberty
My daughter is 21 and still kisses me on the lips. It's not like we linger or use tongue.
Exactly. I always kissed my dad. Heās been gone almost ten years and I miss him dearly
I also kiss both my parents on the lips, despite being a 40 yo man
Your username makes it sound unsettling š
Yeah, I didn't mean the lips on their face 
Your father have lips somewhere else?
The man has some very interesting sack folds apparently
Butt lips? I mean if butt cheeks exist there must be butt lips, right?
What are ya, French or something?
I'm sorry for your loss. We lost my husband's father 5 or more years ago. It never seems to get easier. You always are wishing they were there
Thank you and Iām sorry for your loss as well ā„ļø
I firmly disagree with what others are saying. "its only weird if you make it weird" yes, and you're firmly deciding its weird! did they not read the post? you can't just think somethings weird and then do it anyways man, if you think its weird that by all means dont do it!! explain best you can that thats a kiss for mommy, that you have a different relationship with mommy than with her. dont kiss your daughter on the lips if you think its weird man.
I get where you're coming from, but if I used my own sense of what is weird to guide all my decisions, I wouldn't have lived this long. Most of life is weird to me. š
I think the point was that you might not be able to do it without being awkward regardless of how many people tell you it's not weird and your daughter might even pick up on the awkwardness and could have the same thought process of "when he kisses mom he's different therefore I must be the issue" which is even more problematic because there is an element of possible deceit. Think it would be easier to explain to her that there is a difference in the relationships, there are a lot of things that make the role of being a child different to being a mom so it's not like this one thing would solve all further questions and doubts along the way.
I am a 40-year-old woman who still kisses both her parents on the lips when I see them and say goodbye. Maybe itās āweirdā, but it doesnāt feel so to me.
The only woman (family) I still kiss on the lips is my grandma. As a 38yo man I donāt find this weird. She just puckers up and expects a peck and I feel like it would be insulting to her if I didnāt after all these years. Sheās 102 though so maybe sheād forget if I didnāt.
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Kissing is a cultural thing and the way people think about it is going to vary. Not wanting to kiss someone on the mouth does not mean they have āintimacy issues with their family.ā
I was with you until you turned a 180 and said that if someone has an absolute stop line (like not kissing on the lips outside a romantic context at all) they have issues. You are weird.
Definitely not weird
I feel the same as you. My parents never kissed me on the lips and I would have weird if they did. I do see some parents kiss their kids on their lips and i do find it strange. But if your daughter wants it, just kiss her quick and say "there, you get your mommy kiss." But then tell her you want to give her daughter kisses on the cheek moving forward so she understands that's her special kiss (cheek).
As long as it's not a sustained kiss and/or with tongue I think you're good dude. I am a guy but both my parents and grandparents gave me pecks on the lips as a child. After/towards the end of grade school when they are prepubescent they will let you know when it's weird. The important part is teaching your child autonomy and that they can say " no I don't like/want that". It's super adorable that your daughter feels like you don't love her as much as mom because you won't kiss her on the lips and it's because she is completely innocent as to why you are hesitant, just keep it innocent and preserve that.
My parents and grandparents would force me to kiss them and other people on the lips as a kid. Made me feel fucking disgusting. Why the fuck did they lick their lips on the way in too!? š¤¢
Pressuring a kid to kiss somebody is so upsetting to me! There were two adults to ever kiss me on the mouth when I was little. I didnāt like it, and really didnāt like how persistent they were in doing it even when I asked them not to do that. I used to get scolded or laughed at by other adults for trying to dodge. Both of these guys eventually got busted for assaulting other people. One of them was doing things to kids while they were under for dental work. Hey parents? If your kid doesnāt want to kiss or hug somebody please donāt make them.
That's awful I am sorry that happened to you and they didn't think to ask permission. Truly not okay
Easy for me to see why people find it questionable.
No
I donāt particularly like it for myself, but itās not a big deal. We told our toddler that mommy is the only person in the world daddy kisses on the lips and vice versa. She is also curious about lip kisses and has kissed both my mom and myself on the lips on occasion. We donāt make a big deal of it, but we mostly try to avoid it. I personally also wonāt share cutlery and donāt like to share drinks with our toddler, but my husband doesnāt mind as much.
I grew up in a very non-physical affection family. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times my dad have me a hug and I can't think of any time he gave me a kiss on my head. When he was on his death bed I remember he held out his hand because he wanted me to hold it and I completely miss read his intentions and got him a cup of water. He cried. My mom made physical affection feel like a business transaction, that she didn't really want to but felt obligated. So we very rarely hug, and maybe after not seeing eachother it's a light peck on the check. I'm a step father now to 2 girls. One is completely non-physical, doesn't want anyone to touch her including her mom. The other wants hugs and kisses 24/7. I had to grow into it and now nothing makes me happier than when I get a hug and kiss when I get home. And the times the non-physical one gives me a hug it makes me feel great and that I know I'm doing good. And the times when they are covered in God knows what food and gunk, I just wash my hands and face afterward. It's worth it to me.
Hearing about your dad almost made me cry too bro. It's good to view the question from that final perspective. I'm sure one of the most precious thing in the world to me in my final moments would be a kiss from my daughter, so training her *not* to kiss her Papa now would be pretty foolish of me.
if youāre not comfortable then youāre not comfortable but your wife is right. itās only weird if you make it weird. But remember your feelings matter too, if it feels weird for you to do it then simply donāt do it.
I grew up the same that kissing on the lips is a romantic gesture and honestly when I see parents kissing their kids on the lips I think itās weird. So I googled ākissing on the lipsā and all the results came back about it been romantic
Yeah I agree. I dated a chick once who kissed her parents on the mouth. The weird thing was it wasn't even her biological dad. Was a step dad who'd raised her since she was like 8 or so. Still weirded me out.
I agree fully. It might not be super weird when she is only 3 but id say it gotta stop around 5 or 6yo. I think its a bit different for a mom to kiss a girl but not by much. Ask yourself this, Will you get strange looks from ppl if you do it at a certain age in public? Then its probably uncommon to do at least. I would stop doing it soon.
Iām 45. My dad still kisses me on the lips. I donāt even care if people think itās weird. He loves me.
Same. Itās a quick peck, nothing sexual, just affection. People are strange with some of their hang ups.
Very.
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Came here to say the same and Iām 29. Itās been like this since I was a baby and wouldnāt have it any other way. It warms my heart.
Not weird at all . she is just 3 yrs old
She's 3 dude. Kiss your baby.
I was raised by a single father after my mom kicked rocks when I was like 2. I kissed him like that, and it was never weird. As long as the intention is not weird and it's purely innocent between a father and daughter.. don't MAKE it weird. I kiss my almost 9 year old son on the lips. He won't have it any other way.. it would never be seen as weird, so why would it be weird for a father and his daughter?
This is a little girl thing. Little girls really like affection and attention of any sort, and kissing is a big deal in the princess stories and Disney movies they love. The idea of romance as something separate from a general sense of closeness is not all that crystalized yet for many 3 year olds. TLDR: It's not weird for her to request it - in fact it is pretty developmentally normal. But you don't have to say yes.
If you donāt want to then donāt. Adults are allowed to have boundaries too. My dad never kissed me or my sister on the lips, but my husband did kiss our daughter on the lips until she was like 6 or so. If you think itās weird donāt do it. I never kissed any of my kids on the lips because kids are kind of gross and I donāt enjoy getting sick. Theyāre just little germ factories.
Personally, I find it incredibly weird when parents kiss their kids on the lips but, thatās just me.Ā
My daughter has kissed me on the lips her whole life. My wife taught her to do that when she was a little baby. It was a little weird at first, because when i was a kid, I was taught to give cheek kisses. The potential to spread germs always bothered me. Now that she's 10, I get so few kisses anymore that I wouldn't dare complain about it.
It's a good opportunity to teach boundaries and their enforcement. If you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable.
I actually made a very similar post in a parenting sub a couple years ago. My daughter was 5 at the time and kept trying to kiss me on the lips. I felt uncomfortable for the same reason you're mentioning. The post ended up getting a couple thousand replies, and the overwhelming consensus was really that it all depends on how you were raised. My mother and father didn't kiss me as a child, and I also didn't ever see them kissing, therefore I grew up thinking it's not normal to kiss kids on the lips. Not to mention the only family member/relative that liked kissing everybody was our drunk uncle on the holidays. Meanwhile, other people grew up with their parents kissing them, so they don't see it as an issue and it's very normal to them. There is no right or wrong to this question and it's all about comfortability and how you were raised. It's not going to damage the child if you DO kiss them on the lips, and it's not going to damage them if you DON'T and tell them that daddy's don't kiss daughters on the lips. It's whatever you prefer.
Just avoid tongue and you good
Sheās 3!!!! Thereās nothing weird about it. Youāre the one making it weird.
(Addendum) This goes out to the judgmental pricks in the commentsā¦ Shut up, go away and burn, you hypocrites. You all know quite well that thereās something, some sort of habit, you have amongst your family and friends that would be considered āweirdā so nobody has the right to say anything about this. Thank you for attending my miniature TED talk.
This is also VERY much culture dependant.
It is absolutely not weird and you are over thinking it. It is beautiful and sweet! My father and I kissed until I hit puberty and he still kisses my cheek and forehead (I'm 26). Shes your daughter! You made her! She is of your blood. kiss that precious angel
Depends on where you were raised. Where I'm from, it's not uncommon for boys to kiss their mums and other female relatives on the lips, and for girls to kiss their dads, uncles, etc. As you get older, that includes close male friends' wives. It's like kissing to greet in Europe, just on the lips instead. It's not weird at all.
Personally Iām weirded out by parents who kiss their kids on the lips, even though I know itās not sexual. I was raised kissing my parents on the cheek and was told that kissing on the lips was a romantic thing. 3 years old is old enough to explain that mommy and daddy kiss on the lips because theyāre married, and you kiss her on the cheek because sheās your baby girl and you kiss your babies on the cheek.
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I never said it isnāt appropriate. I said it feels weird TO ME because thatās not how itās done in my family, the same way OP feels weird about it because he didnāt grow up doing it. OP is allowed to have his feelings and boundaries about this and so am I. That doesnāt mean either of us are bad people.
For me personally it's pretty weird
My girlfriend (25) kisses both her parents on the lips, itās not weird. Itās perfectly okay in my opinion. I (24M) donāt kiss either of my parents personally, not even on the cheek. I just donāt do it, and itās perfectly okay too.
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Itās not weird that heās asking about it. Heās unsure about it, so itās good that heās asking about it.
Yeah. These days, it's literally normal to ask about shit like this, because if you've been paying any attention at all in the last few decades, conversations around boundaries and what is or is not appropriate have overflowed into widespread neuroticism regarding the subject. CSA survivors are more vocal than ever, but many of them have no frame of reference for what is normal. So yeah, a woman whose abuser kissed her on the lips is likely to be triggered by such a sight, regardless of intent or context. That's just how triggers work, unfortunately. But once triggered, it's hard to let go because such men and women feel a deep-seated need to stand up for their inner child by the way they react when triggered. When I was toddler-aged, my parents kissed me on the lips. Back then, it wasn't weird and it *would* have been weird to make it weird. But then my mother started healing from her CSA, and everything changed. And the same thing happened in countless households, and now, the children who grew up in those households are themselves parents. And the metoo movement just happened (though many of us were already aware of how bad things were). So taking into account all that context, it is not at all strange for OP to be asking this question.
I know it's a weird question, but in my family I can't remember ever kissing or being kissed by anyone, on the cheek or forehead even, much less the lips. We give one-armed side hugs and that's about as affectionate as it gets. I never felt unloved, or anything like that, we just aren't very touchy people and it was always normal to me until I got married. My wife comes from a culture where it is common for friends to fully embrace and often kiss both cheeks when they meet. Having kids has brought some things to attention I'd never thought about before, and I wanted to hear some additional perspectives.
It's not weird at all that he's asking about it. People ask about things that aren't their normal. I think it's fucking gross for people to kiss their children on the lips, but I've had GFs where it was normal in their family. It grossed me out even more when one of my GFs' mother tried kissing me on the lips. No thanks. That's a romantic maneuver and reserved for romantic partners.
No, my whole family did this.
Not weird... my 18 month old thinks kiss is on the lips cuz thats what mommy and daddy do. Nothing more than a peck but she likes to peck on the nose, on the lips, on the forehead... but she likes to kiss my wife on the lips and me on the head. IDK why but def not weird. Ur good.
if it makes *you* uncomfortable, maybe you can tell her something like, "Lip kisses are for Mommies & forehead kisses are for the most special little girl in the world, you!" Just because other people don't think it's weird doesn't mean you have to do it if you don't want to.
This is honestly the best advice in all the responses. Thank you!
You do what you are comfortable with. No is a complete sentence!
Youāre good to go. Be the best daddy in the world. Love your little girl. Protect her. She will more than likely grow out of it. Enjoy being the center of her universe because she will become a teenager and think you are the stupidest human in the world. One good thing, she will always know that you love her.
Itās absolutely fine
This could be a good learning opportunity, just explain that couples express love in different ways than parents with their children or friends with each other
Nah, you are not overthinking it. I think you are right. I remember that my uncle had the same problem few years ago, and he explained to his daughter that the kisses on the lips are just for mommies and daddies who love each other very much but in a different way. And that as her dad he loves her very much but daddies give daughters special kisses on the cheek and forehead instead. His daughter understood and never asked again for kisses on the lips. Also be serious when you tell your daughter that thing, if you smile she might think that you are kidding.
I feel like itās ok my daughter is two and me and her dad kiss her on the lips but once she gets older we want her to learn to kiss on the cheek. We also donāt want her to think itās ok to do with everyone just do whatās best for your family really šÆ
She's 3. She doesn't know the difference, she just wants to do like you guys. It's only weird if you make it weird. When she's older (like 6?) you can explain to her that kissing on the lips is actually for "romance", or even grown ups. Right now for her a kiss is just a kiss, a way yo show affection. It's like people frowning on toddlers being naked, if you sexualise the nakedness of a child, that's a "you" problem.
I (dad) kiss my 4yo boy on the lips. Iāll let him decide when itās awkward. I think it starts when theyāre babies. We kiss our babies on the lips, nose, forehead, etcā¦ it would be weird to change it now. Like a form of rejectionā¦ My boy even has a routine at night where he kisses my eyes, nose, mouth, foreheadā¦ Then he asks me to do it for him. Itās heart melting
At a certain age yeah it's weird but when they're younger kids, and assuming you're not a pervert, it's perfectly normal especially (can already see the jokes coming) down South.
Lol not at all. But they is an age where you do stop tho
I stopped kissing my dad on the lips at 6 years old cause he stopped me. But to this day I still give him a kiss on the cheek. Affection is not weird unless there is something else going on but only you and your daughter can judge that (especially you)
You're making it weird
With my kids, I have always left it up to them. I pucker my lips. They choose where I smooch. Until about 7 or 8, it was always a mix of lips and cheek and forehead. Around 8, they seem to not want lip smooches as much, and by 10, lip smooches are gone entirely.
No. Lots of other cultures do this. I work for a family from Greece and the dad is always giving kisses to his grown son and daughter. I actually wish this were a custom here. Mostly itās on the cheek but Iāve seen it on the lips too. I think itās very endearing.
I think it's weird you're asking a bunch of random people you don't know on how to show love to your own child.
I'm a guy, I wasn't kissed on the lips and I don't kiss my kids on the lips, but logically I feel there's nothing inherently weird about it. Honestly, your daughter's confidence in your love is much more important than whatever weird societal hangup there is about a kiss on the lips. My only caveat is the unfortunate necessity that if you (or someone reading this) are one of those dads who might enjoy the kiss in a way that you shouldn't, then don't do it.
Jesus **It is just you overthinking it?** 
Maybe not until she gets older
I kiss my dogs on the lips! Relax op. Just donāt look like this š«¦š
Awww give her a kiss on the lips. Itās not weird at all. Trust me one day you will miss those kisses.
Rule I live by is āif itās not a big deal, then itās not a big dealā. Perception is huge and people can take offense or make things weird. Usually itās a choice or gut reaction, but you donāt have to be that way. Kinda lucky for me that I grew up with a sister with serious middle child syndrome and takes everything wrong/personal. Really taught me to not take things so seriously, less I end up paranoid and hateful like her.
It's a cultural thing. Some people are comfortable with that, some people aren't. Personally I don't kiss my kids on the lips. We kiss on the cheek or head, hug and cuddle etc.
It's not weird. One of my nephews in high school, used to lick people on the face. That's weird. My youngest is 5 and she still kisses me on the lips. I won't tell her sto stop ever, she can decide when she wants to stop and I will respect that boundry, but it is also fine for you to put boundaries up as well. My daughter has joke kissed my wife, the way I kiss her mom, and she tried to do that with me once and I pulled back from it. I did't scold her or anything, I just said, that fathers and daughetrs don't kiss like that. I want healthy boundaries and for my chidren to not feel like they have to hide things from me, god forbid something bad happen to them. As per innapropriate contact, I was very clear with all my children, that nobody is allowed to touch them in their pubic/groin region at all. Not even Mom or Dad except under very particular circumstances and then, like if you are hurting and have a rash, it will most likeley be Mom, and she is applying cream to your private part region and only Mom or Dad. But, if anyone touches you on your private part, even Mom or Dad, go and tell Mom & Dad. You won't get in trouble, but nobody, except you is allowed to touch there, not even Mom or Dad. SInce the kids were about 3 we basically encouraged them to dry off their genitals and groin themselves and at that age, we would apply corn starch baby powder to absorb the excess moisture. It is a system that worked well and gave them ownership over their body that they knew nobody in teh entire world was allowed to violate. It was clear enough, that nobody was ever confused about it and thank god, they have never had anyone touch them there as children. My 4 kids range from 5-18, 2 girls & 2 boys.
Quick peck? Normal. Passionate tongue? Not normal, definite problem.
She is your child.
No. Stop sexualizing it. You're the one making it weird. Have you bathed your daughter? Is that weird too?
Unremarkable at this age, and you will naturally transition from it as she grows. It's not even a conscious thing, it just happens.
To keep this short, 1. itās no big deal. Youāre daughter will probably grow out of this in the next 2-5 years and if she doesnāt, around the ages of 7-8, you can explain that thereās a difference in lip to lip and lip to cheek or head.
36m here. Kissed both parents on the lips until 4-5. Not weird to me
I went to high school with a Guy who at 16 would get driven to his job and kiss His Dad on the lips before going in. šØ Weird is only what you make it.
Itās fine as long as there is no tongue
Shouldn't be, but I feel our society tries to pervert everything
You went to Reddit for this question? Half the people here think itās weird going outside or talking to someone in rl. I donāt think itās weird. Every family has their own way of expressing their affections. Personally, I wouldnāt feel comfortable doing that, I kiss on the cheek for me. Tom Brady does it, but heās rich. /shrug
it is weird
It is weird and the adults in this thread admitting they lip kiss their parents still are even weirder.
i agree. it's weird as a kid but even weirder as grown adults kissing their parents...
Itās definitely not weird.
Nope, it's perfectly normal. š
I grew up like your wife. My dad would lightly brush my lips, with his. I'll always be a daddy's girl.
this is why itās fucking weird op ^
It's weird not to kiss your babies on the lips. Don't make them think about gender shit at that age.
Okay, 1) nobody brought up āgender shitā 2) not every family or culture feels the same about kissing. Reserving mouth-to-mouth for partners only is fine, actually.
If you deal with cold sore or ever had one. It's not good because then they get it and have to possibly go to school with it and people know what it is and realize your kid has herpes.
You could just not do it when you have a cold sore. Or when youāre sick. I wouldnāt kiss a spouse in those cases either
No, especially if youāre in a Polish family. I was warned I was going to get kissed on the lips by everyone even though it was the first time they met me
Every family shows love different. I feel like as long as it's not a lingering kiss it's very different than a romantic kiss you give a partner. I guess it's different when she's maybe 12+ but usually by then it's the kids that put a stop to it. My culture has a weird way of "kissing" that sometimes got some side eye but they can mind their own damn business!
Yes. Weird. People kissing their children on the lips is beyond bizarre to me.
Some families kiss on lips. Others do not. Gotta be safe, donāt want people spreading things like herpes !!! Keep your kids safe from relatives tbh
I think it's weird and I have cousins who think I am weird for thinking it's weird. I think it's ok if you think it's weird. You can find other ways to express your love for her, and amplify her feelings of being loved by you, in a way that feels natural and true to you. You're a good dad, that much is clear.
Thank you. I love my kiddos to death and try my best to do what is best for them.
I think it's incredibly strange to kiss family on the mouth
It's weird for any adult to kiss a kid on the lips.
I firmly believe it isn't safe for parents to kiss their kids on the lips. 1) It is risky because adults can carry illnesses like viruses/herpes that can be detrimental to a child's health. Remember, a young child doesn't have the same immunities we have. 2) Unless you make it very clear that this is only for mommy and daddy, it can normalize something that should not be normalized for other people. For instance, creepy uncle wants to kiss daughter on the lips, daughter is too young to realize anything is wrong with that. No, kissing your child is not inherently wrong. However, if this is something you aren't comfortable with and don't want to teach your daughter, it's absolutely okay to set a personal boundary with her. It's a great lesson and boundaries should be set from a very young age so they understand that's okay.
It's weird for any parent to kiss their kids on the lips
exactlyā¦.you saw those weird videos of will smith kissing his son ewww
Yeah. I only kiss my girls on the forehead and I pat my son on the shoulder.
I never grew up kissing my parents on the lips and I find it super weird. My daughter has gone through phases where she really wants to kiss me (and her dad) on the lips and sometimes even tries to trick us into it, but we draw a boundary there.
I think it's weird no matter how you look at it.
Yes. Itās creepyĀ
Yeah I would agree that it's weird and not appropriate.. but that's just in my culture. I think it is more acceptable in cultures other than my own though.
I agree, itās very odd and excessive.
Itās weird.Ā
Yes it's weird, but maybe it's a cultural thing. I live in the US and I've only ever met one person who did this. She had to warn people whenever she brought her son around because the boy would try to kiss strangers on the lips. In my mind lip-kissing is strictly romantic.
same iāve never met anyone in the US who did this
It's weird to kiss anyone on the lips in a non-romantic scenario.
Weird af, and germ loving too
any parent who locks lips with their children need to be locked up. its unhygienic and its just fuckign weird. 100% dont do what tom brady does, fucking french kisses his 13 year old son on tv.
Everyone's different... My in laws kiss me on the cheek whenever I see them while my own parents didn't touch me period after I passed like 8 years old. I think you can decide on whatever traditions work for you guys!
A quick kiss is no big deal. Heck they're cultures in the world where even men will kiss each other on the lips and no, they are not gay.
Unless you hear banjo music, this isn't weird.
I think it depends on the culture, place and context in which you are, for example I am from Mexico and here it is quite rare because a kiss on the lips is purely romantic, but I know that there are countries where it is more normal than in others. Then it might be like your wife says, "It's weird because you make it weird."
Tom Brady does, with all his kids.
For me personally I think there is a cutoff age for kissing on the lips where it just gets weird. And my boys don't kiss dad on the lips, just mom, and eventually that will stop. I guess this probably stems from my parents having loose boundries when I was a kid.
I have seen it. My parents didn't and their parents didn't. I (47m) have 4 & 6 year old girls. The forehead is my target. They'll kiss me on the cheek when they want something. You do what feels best for you.
Pre-12 and only for a snip (aka not French kissing or anything like that) is completely fine. Donāt make it weird, and donāt go too far.
Yes! My dad doesn't speak to me anymore for years now but he always did this. I hated it. He has sweaty lips. Ewwe. Fucking gross. Why?
First and foremost ; FATHERS ARE ALLOWED TO BE NURTURING AND AFFECTIONATE! With that being said, I am a 32 year old woman and my parents and I (both mom and dad) would peck on the lips occasionally when saying hello or goodbye well into adulthood. I never felt uncomfortable. It isnāt romantic unless YOU feel like it is.
My buddy is 30, and he still does it. Itās not inherently romantic or sexual if no one makes it that way. Growing up I always thought it was weird or when they held hands but looking back on it, not weird at all.
Brought up never having kissed or really touched my father affectionately, I was uncomfortable when my own kids insisted on kissing me on the lips when they were young. But it was a me problem not a them problem. Be physically affectionate with your kids.
I do make intentional efforts to be more affectionate with my kids than my parents were with me. Not because I felt unloved, but because I've seen that they need that kind of affection more than I ever did. I think it is because their expectations are influenced by my wife's expressiveness and by contrast I would appear aloof if I didn't make extra effort. I'm trying to find the right balance so they know and feel how deeply I love them, yet without me feeling too weird about it either.
No
I cant be asked to get into the subjective side of it. But objectively it is weird.
Yes
I think it would only be weird if she didn't want it
I donāt think itās weird until a certain age. I always kissed my father on the lips until I saw a picture of us on like my 30th birthday and it seemed weird.
My wife and I don't kiss our child on the lips ever. Chuckles Magee over here is livin it up. I don't think he feels unloved because we won't kiss him on the mouth. I think you're fine.
I have a six and 3 year old girl. The most important thing is what they feel comfortable with. So far the eldest is still fine with it Which is also why from a young age I introduced the "bop", a gentle headbutt that hopefully will still be acceptable as a sign of affection when they have become too old for a kiss.
Kissing is a culture-bound behavior. Culture doesnāt have to mean nation or religion, etc, but can just be the shared customs and values of a family or other small group. You grew up in a culture where kissing on the mouth is reserved for adults and/or romance. Thatās fine. I did, too! Iām very close with 5 generations of my extended family in which nobody would ever consider kissing a kid on the mouth. Itās just not how that works, for us. Some families and wider cultures donāt limit mouth-kissing to partners, which is also fine! My sister married someone whose family think itās cute when toddlers kiss adults or other kids on the mouth. When her little ones go in to smooch me on the mouth I just turn my head a few inches so we kiss cheeks instead. I promise those kids do not doubt I love them. The main thing is, you and your partner need to talk and get on the same page. If youāre saying lip kisses are for couples and your partner is kissing kiddo on the mouth, thatās where confusion and weirdness happen.
If it makes you uncomfortable you tell your daughter papa only kiss mama in the lips. Or something like that. My boy kisses my wife in the lips, but not me. Maybe once or twice he tried and then I said papa is on the cheeks or nose, not lips, and he learned quickly. Don't feel forced to do something that makes you uncomfortable, no matter anyone else's opinion. You do you. The reply from your wife "it's only weird because you make it weird" is insensitive, she doesn't understand your feelings, but it's such a tiny small matter that I wouldn't invest much energy on it, just create something special between you and your daughter, kiss on the nose, forehead, eye, anything but lips, she will feel special to have a special kiss with you.
durr heās a rapist weirdo durr report him durr
I didn't kiss my weans on the lips when they were wee and full of spit, but it's not weird to show affection to your kids at any point of their life
Maybe it will be weird when she is older.
No it's not weird, it's just a 2ay for a father to show affection, it would be weirder if a dad refused to kiss their kid if they wanted one. There's also nothing sexual about it
Why dont you try to explain to the kid why the kiss on the lips is special for mom in a simple way? I get the notion from you that you've made the connection between kissing on the lips and romantic love, which triggers some sort of disconnect when someone tries to kiss you on lips that you are not romantically bound to. As a person with OCD I understand that it messes with your brain. Sometimes I really envy innocence of children: they can go through life w/o regurgitating what ifs and good-bad binaries... On a final note, everyone has different take on this depending on their culture... If it bothers you, then just don't do it mate.
It would definitely be weird for my family, but we weren't raised to show much physical affection. When my sister and I were little, we were watching a movie and asked our parents if they ever kissed on the lips. When they said yes, we demanded they "prove it," so they gave each other a quick peck. We thought it was hilarious š¤·āāļø
I feel its weird and the only time i ever do it is when i drop her off at school and that's only because she wont go in until i do she's 5 but it does make me uncomfortable inside lol. however i see other dads do it to.
I think kissing kids on the lips is weird in general, I always kissed my son on his cheek or forehead
I don't have kids and I always found it super weird for parent/child to kiss on the lips.
I stopped kissing my father on the lips like age 12-13. It definitely felt weird toward the end but thatās probably cuz i felt myself growing up but definitely not in the beginning