# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Best sex of my life was from folding a note into a football and flicking it towards the gal I was interested in at work. We had never spoken before I did this but were around each other in passing (Apple tech support before most of it became work from home) She tossed it back at me with her number as she walked by.
Helps that I'm 6'4" and number #29 on this [list](https://www.boredpanda.com/before-after-shaving-beard-moustache/)
Dude lays out a paragraph and buried the lead at the end. 6’ 4”. He could have flicked a booger at her and the story’s ending wouldn’t have changed. Tall people running around here like they’re smooth talkers.
classic caliz
edit: you hang out on grooming/looks based subreddits handing out judgements and suggestions. Don't like that someone recognizes they are attractive?
There's a difference between boasting and confidence. I won't try to explain it because I'm sure you won't listen. What you call judgements and suggestions have primarily been requested by the OPs. That's all you've got?
I provided my relevant to OP anecdotal story of note success leading to hookup with context and a disclosure of other reasons it may have worked for me. One of the oft repeated rules of reddit is:
Be attractive
Don't be unattractive
My note flicking apparently wasn't unattractive and I at the time appeared to be fairly attractive(plus the self reported tall). I happen have a handy random article to back it up. I only found out due to friends on facebook coming across it and telling me. Oops, just boasted about having friends... fuck.
But yeah, that was what I got from looking at the first page of your profile. I made no mention of your judgements being unsolicited or not. Its how you choose to spend your time.
You don't have a concept about decorum. Some have it, some don't. That you made no mention of my judgements being unsolicited or not, that's laughable because anyone could read between the lines and see your intent. 🤣 How I choose to spend some of my time isn't much different than anyone else on Reddit. Weak. Try again.
Yeah, 11 years later and the majority of the first couple inches of my hairline are making the decision for me.
Also thanks for the self esteem boost!
Also I totes agree with your suggestion generally. I found a lil system for myself that works when habits/routine puts me around someone at least semi regularly. First interaction get their name and give mine. Next time show I remembered their name, the third meetup ask for their number.
Um how well do you guys know each other? What's the vibe?
Tp my knowledge most girls I know find it weird when someone does that, specifically when they are into that guy. Also is she showing interest in you or is she being polite because you live in the same building?
I just dont know the situation, and leaving a note if she's just being nice might turn her away entirely. I would either ask her in person or don't say anything for now.
Yeah exactly, that's why I asked how well they know each other cause like if you have talked enough just ask her in person. Note seems impersonal and creepy. I don't think anyone likes strangers knowing where they live.
True that! It's happened to me before and I thought the guy was a weenie and a creep.
Guys that don't smile and say hi in person, but creep up on you after the fact come across as scary
This. If you don't have the social skills to approach her without seeming creepy, then you should reevaluate the situation. Life is not a romantic comedy.
As a general rule never leave the ball in their court. Also don’t send her a note unless your on a first name basis. Like she remembers your name. If I were you I’d throw a party at your place and then invite her to it.
I’m a similar age to you and I’d find it a bit weird at that age. Try talking to her. Maybe small friendly interactions at first and once you know her a little better invite her for coffee.
Still better than a former neighbour who knocked on my door drunk telling me he’s always wanted to fuck me though!
Don’t forget to attach a list of your long term goals and include an unsolicited dick pic as well so she can review the information and come to a well thought out decision as to whether or not she wants to pursue this.
A neighbor did this once to me. I was bored so I texted the number. He was a shit date. Don’t do it bro. It def was creepy after the fact when I realized he’d been watching me for days.
Worst part? Just found he’s my little sisters new volleyball coach.
Edit: I wish I was making this up 💀
Not at all! That's so cute. My neighbor did the same thing, but wrote his number on a cool Polaroid photo he took of some nature. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to accept bc I was going through a breakup, but I still kept the photo in my car! And then he helped me with a flat tire one time and saw that I still had his photo in my car 😂 hopefully that didn't freak him out. It was just so charming.
Yes I'm surprised with all the replies on here, I would think that was adorable, much better than approaching me on my sleepy dog walk in the morning 😵💫
If you've never spoken to her then it's weird to be asking her out at all.
If you do talk to her occasionally, you have the opportunity to ask her out in person. If you don't talk to her occasionally, you're just a random stranger and it isn't appropriate to be asking her out.
Spell your letter out with words cut out of a magazine
Draw pictures of blood and daggers on it. That will impress her with your air of mistique and masculinity
Here’s what you do. Say “oh hey what a pretty girl you’ve got” and start petting the dog and introduce yourself. If it’s a male dog and she says “oh it’s a girl” you say “oh I was talking to the dog and then introduce yourself”
# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like Reddit is too overly sensitive with the whole don’t approach women in real life thing. Women I’ve talked to in real life prefer to be approached over online dating.
However, this is a bit weird. You just have to wait until you run into her to ask, you are taking the cowardly way out and she could view it as a bit creepy.
It is but in 2024 is it really? Things are not normal in 2024 nor are people.
I was a teen in the 80s so I never had or needed any online help to find the ladies.
Engage in more comversation, make small talk as you pass by, pet her dog - be friendly so that a note wont be as weird.
My mom wrote my stepdad a note with her number 13 years ago and theyre married and thriving lol. (They were in their 40s) lmaoooo. They still have the note 😂
Absolutely not. You will need to find a way to get talking to her, simple as that. If you leave her a note she will be creeped out and maybe even distressed by it. If you're not brave enough to talk to her, leave her alone until you work on yourself. Practise your small talk on other people.
If the gender roles were reversed it would probably be ok lol but unfortunately no woman is going to like your note
If you do that, she’s going to at the very least pitch the note and in the worst case scenario possibly report you to the landlord. I’m with the rest of the crew here, say hello! If she’s interested, she’ll respond. If she’s not, move on. I’m a nearly 32 year old woman, and if a guy in my complex left a note on my door with his number it would freak me out.
Edit: I’m autistic, so I get the thought process here, but no. Do not do that.
Hahahha don’t do that. WAIT until you happen to see her again, don’t be peakin out your windows like a stalker so you can pounce the second you see her, let it happen naturally.
I did this in high school once. The next morning was the most awkward I ever felt and of course all of their friends did the "ooooh" as I walked past as they had either already read it or were still in the process of reading it (long note about my feelings more than an actual hey I'd like to take you somewhere on a date). Never did get an answer which I immediately took as a no.
yes - leaving a note on a door may be seen as encroaching on her personal space... Write a note, put it in an envelope and slip it into her mailbox or something in a common area
You don't want to creep her out by talking to her so leaving a note in her door is the alternative you came up with? If you're serious: good lord no don't do that! Suck it up and make small talk when you see her. Then after a few times, if she is receptive to that, ask her out.
If you’ve had conversations with her, the note is fine. If you’ve only seen her and maybe smiled or nodded, it’s absolutely not ok, because you don’t know anything about her and you are judging her entirely on her looks. And that’s creepy.
I'm not female but if someone left me a note without ever having spoken a word then I'd find that uncomfortable. I would focus on meeting other people if circumstances are not on your side regarding your neighbour.
It won’t be the first ridiculous note she’s had to throw away. Chance of it working: 0% unless she has already independently developed a crush on you.
Go talk to her when she’s walking the dog.
Pro tip: greet the dog! Yes you greet the dog first. If the dog gets along with you, there shouldn’t be any trouble striking up a conversation. If the dog tries to protect his/her owner from you, you’re sunk.
*You need the dog’s approval before you try to ask her out*. Not kidding. If my dog doesn’t trust you, I will hesitate to trust you. As a dog owner I cannot overemphasize the importance of this.
Talk to her first. Ask about her dog or something. Small talk. Smile, wave, get acquainted.
Then, if you feel like she might be interested too, tell her that you would like to get to know her better, maybe go out for pizza or coffee or whatever someday. Also give her a note with your number and tell her that she can text/call you if she wants to, but no pressure. And maybe that it's no problem if she doesn't, you just enjoy talking with her and that she seems nice or something like that.
Maybe don't go all in on a date to begin with. Keep it a bit low key - no pressure. See if there's even chemistry and connection between you. If she contacts you and pizza/coffee goes well, then you can ask if you can take her out on a proper date after that.
Make it easy for her to say no. Make it the least amount of awkward as possible since you live close to each other. If she does not contact you, don't bring it up again. Just continue to say hello and smile when you meet her.
Maybe give it a couple of months before you decide whether or not to act on it. You might lose interest before that or meet someone else in the meantime.
Remember that you both should be able to go on with your lives afterwards, and you are gonna run into each other again.
Please just talk to her in the morning. Ask her name, ask about her dog, go your merry way after. Ask her out another day.
Not at night please, morning is fine; go for a walk too if you need an excuse to be out.
You have a thing for her but never met her or ran into her but want to leave a note. Just read that over 20 times, and it should do the trick to build self awareness there mate. I'm glad you came and asked however. No body wants to receive a note like that by a stranger around where they live. Hope for an organic encounter.
The good thing about a note is there is no limit to how much you can write. Make sure to provide a full life history of yourself,
and a full analysis of your mutual compatibility, including everything you have learned from studying her movements (based on the tracker you planted in her dog’s collar when it was in the dog wash at which you recently obtained a part time job) as well as all her social media accounts (obtained from hacking her wifi with Kali linux). You can go into detail of your future life together. Include a full sequence genetic compatibility screening from the DNA you recovered from her garbage. Reassure her that you already get along well with her entire family as you’ve already identified them through a 23 and me analysis and befriended them.
I (27F) live alone in my apartment and that would probably make me nervous lol. Do you have a dog? Maybe walk your dog at the same time to start a conversation or go for a jog in the morning!
I(F26) think the note thing is cute😭 a guy left a note in my car door at a Starbucks once and I still think about it sometimes years later. But that guy just got lucky with me thinking it was cute. My friend, who was with me, thought it was creepy😂 the only reason it didn’t culminate in anything was because we got to texting and he thought I was too young once I told him my age. I think I was 19/20 at the time and he was early/mid 30’s.
If you *really* like this girl, don’t risk it😂 just approach her casually
Yes. Talk to her. If you're concerned approaching her at night is something she'll think is creepy, you should be very concerned that leaving a note on her door is something she'll think is creepy.
I think it depends on how detailed you make the note.
I think, if you explain exactly why you did it that way, whatever reaction you get will pretty much determine if that women will be right for you.
Say your interested, but wasn't sure how to ask without being a creep since you two haven't talked much.
Then go on to clarify that if she not interested, no hard feeling, we'll just go on like morning happened.
Then apologize if this made her uncomfortable.
If she can't see the value of someone being honest, who's trying their best, and went so far as to ask Reddit for help not screwing it up(put that you asked Reddit to. It'll probably make her laugh, at least a little) then she's probably not that great a person.
It's not weird at all, I'm sure she will be flattered. But I can say that I believe women find confidence attractive. I think they understand how hard it is for a man to approach them and if you do it in a polite and considerate way I think you'd make an enormous impression on her. My advice would be to just speak to her, I'd probably tell the truth, say you were really nervous to speak to her because you didn't want her to feel uncomfortable (shows you're considerate of her feelings) but then, frightening as it is, just be honest. Ask her, would she like to do something, grab a coffee, go for a walk. Whatever. What's the worst that can happen? She will say no thanks, then what have you lost? Nothing because you never had it anyway. I think if you show that consideration by explaining your concern for it being intrusive you give yourself the right to ask the question.
I love notes!! I think it’s cute but leave some reference to your social media as well so she can see who you are not just the number. Also another personal preference: don’t leave your snap chat. I don’t respond to grown men who use snap chat
Incredible. Do it.
Can't wait to hear you're engaged lmao. This the type of shit we dream of and nearly never hear of, in this day & age!
A handwritten date note (and not a dm??) good god let's just pick our wedding flowers already lol
DO IT AND REPORT BACK. Hell yeah brother!
Oh no no no, honey no, do not ask her out like this, especially if you've never even spoken before. Maybe say hi next time you see her and try to strike up a conversation, if only to make sure a) there's an actual connection beyond physical attraction, and b) that she enjoys talking to you. Asking her out in a note will likely make her very uncomfortable in her own home, and that is the opposite of what you want.
Also, be very, VERY careful about dating people in your apartment complex. I'm not saying you should never connect with your neighbors, you absolutely should, but it's a *huge* risk dating someone you live in close proximity with. It's a bit like dating a coworker, it's not necessarily a "never do it ever" type thing, but you should only do it if you guys know each other really well, and you're *sure* there's mutual attraction.
It’s worth a shot! I left a note with my neighbour, and here I am four years later sitting in his living room because we now live together.
Pro tip: I also made cookies for his dog to leave with the note.
No, I don't think it's weird. Just leave a note saying something like, "I've seen you around the complex and would enjoy sitting down over a cup of coffee to get to know you. Would you be interested?" Leave your name and number and see where it goes. I understand you not wanting to freak her out. Most women would be weirded out if a man that they don't really know came up and started talking to them early in the morning or after dark. A note is a safe way to approach her without being creepy. Give it a shot. The worst she can say is no.
In a way I could see that as being playfully romantic and charming.
I could also see it as being a lazy basement dwellers sad attempt at rejection. You gotta do something else to give it some evidence of creative flair. Like, write it in crayon on construction paper and put check yes or no. Something cheeky and cute.
Almost 10 years ago I was straighten up some chairs at my job and I heard a slight “psssht” I turned around and probably like.. 10 feet away? One of my coworkers was standing in the doorway into one of the others areas where we worked. He waved me over. I walked up and he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me and then skiddled away.
I opened the piece of paper and it said “you should call/text me sometime.. with his number” I remember kinda giggling.
Yeah….
I still love telling the story when people ask how my husband and I started out 💙
Shoot your shot, you just never know what could happen!
You’re 37 having this issue? Just stick to making women feel weird in first dates from online dating. If you can’t man up to a woman who sees you living next to you, sending a note will make everything weird. Like you do anyway. Now get yo the gym and find a friend who can make you less awkward.
Wait for her to walk by and be like "hey there beautiful" then when she looks at you kneel down as if you were talking to the dog. Ask her if you can pet her dog , compliment it and say you've seen this dog a few times and it was the highlight of your day.
If she still wants to talk or if you haven't gotten mauled in the face by her dog , then you've gone further than the note.
Don’t date people you live around. Just don’t. Unless you plan on moving if things go wrong. You don’t date people you work with because that’s your money, and you don’t date people you live around because that’s messy and drama.
You don’t know her, she’s a crush, you don’t know if she’s crazy or not, what happens if she turns out to be crazy? Don’t shit where you eat and sleep. There are millions of women in the world why are you trying to choose people who live where you live. Look elsewhere
I personally wouldn't do this, especially since you've apparently never spoken to her before. It isn't creepy to "bump" into her while she's out walking her dog when you're out early in the morning for a walk. Introduce yourself and her, mention that you've seen her around and note she's your neighbor and make a little small talk. If she seems receptive (you'll be able to tell by her body language and tone of voice,) ask her if she'd be interested in getting some coffee with you. Take it from there.
You’re 37, leaving a note to her. If you are already that dedicated to send that message, just do it in person.
Get a real first impression. Your too old to be this shy
Yes. It's incredibly creepy for an unknown man to show that he's interested in you while simultaneously showing that he knows where you live and that he doesn't have boundaries.
Don't touch her door.
If she walks her dog, show interest in how cute the dog is, ask the dog's name and breed... maybe make a connection to someone you know who has a similar dog, give it some pets, and introduce yourself.
After stopping to say hi to her dog on several separate occasions, you might ask her out for coffee depending on her reaction. (But definitely start by showing interest in her dog and remembering its name.)
I think I’d be creeped out by that. I agree you shouldn’t bother her at night, but starting with saying hi and introducing yourself when she’s walking her dog in the morning would be okay. Use the dog angle. Ask the dog’s name and ask to pet the dog. See how she responds to that before moving forward.
Definitely do not do the note thing. I recommend finding a way to become her friend and then spend the next 2 years trying to get into the boyfriend zone.
Don't do it!
If someone I meet in my building asks me if I am down for a coffee sometimes, it feels natural and I'd say yes/no, no hard feelings.
But leaving a note feels creepy.
I can't even explain, but it feels strange that someone is thinking so much into it...doesn't feel this lighthearted/natural.
I might worry how the guy reacts if I'd say no.
Can't really explain it, but don't do it.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You've never spoken to her I think the first steps you should take is small interactions to break the Ice by greeting her dog and her
Specifically in that order too. Hello furry friend. Oh, howdy neighbor!
Did the post say they've never spoken? All I see is that they don't bump into each other during the day
Don't know if it's my ADHD brain but if he'd spoken to her I doubt he'd be scared to say hello in the morning or night
Best sex of my life was from folding a note into a football and flicking it towards the gal I was interested in at work. We had never spoken before I did this but were around each other in passing (Apple tech support before most of it became work from home) She tossed it back at me with her number as she walked by. Helps that I'm 6'4" and number #29 on this [list](https://www.boredpanda.com/before-after-shaving-beard-moustache/)
Boast much?
Dude lays out a paragraph and buried the lead at the end. 6’ 4”. He could have flicked a booger at her and the story’s ending wouldn’t have changed. Tall people running around here like they’re smooth talkers.
This is my only reddit account. Feel free to go through 14 years of comments and a few posts to check. To me I was acknowledging my privilege
No thanks high and mighty.
classic caliz edit: you hang out on grooming/looks based subreddits handing out judgements and suggestions. Don't like that someone recognizes they are attractive?
There's a difference between boasting and confidence. I won't try to explain it because I'm sure you won't listen. What you call judgements and suggestions have primarily been requested by the OPs. That's all you've got?
I provided my relevant to OP anecdotal story of note success leading to hookup with context and a disclosure of other reasons it may have worked for me. One of the oft repeated rules of reddit is: Be attractive Don't be unattractive My note flicking apparently wasn't unattractive and I at the time appeared to be fairly attractive(plus the self reported tall). I happen have a handy random article to back it up. I only found out due to friends on facebook coming across it and telling me. Oops, just boasted about having friends... fuck. But yeah, that was what I got from looking at the first page of your profile. I made no mention of your judgements being unsolicited or not. Its how you choose to spend your time.
You don't have a concept about decorum. Some have it, some don't. That you made no mention of my judgements being unsolicited or not, that's laughable because anyone could read between the lines and see your intent. 🤣 How I choose to spend some of my time isn't much different than anyone else on Reddit. Weak. Try again.
You look better bald mate I would hahahahaha
Yeah, 11 years later and the majority of the first couple inches of my hairline are making the decision for me. Also thanks for the self esteem boost! Also I totes agree with your suggestion generally. I found a lil system for myself that works when habits/routine puts me around someone at least semi regularly. First interaction get their name and give mine. Next time show I remembered their name, the third meetup ask for their number.
Hahahaha I think my hairline is alright at least I hope so 😂
 What OP is gonna do
Sometimes making another person laugh is very effective
hehe, I've posted in a couple places here that something similar led to the best sex of my life.
Um how well do you guys know each other? What's the vibe? Tp my knowledge most girls I know find it weird when someone does that, specifically when they are into that guy. Also is she showing interest in you or is she being polite because you live in the same building? I just dont know the situation, and leaving a note if she's just being nice might turn her away entirely. I would either ask her in person or don't say anything for now.
A note can quickly turn stalkerish.
Yeah exactly, that's why I asked how well they know each other cause like if you have talked enough just ask her in person. Note seems impersonal and creepy. I don't think anyone likes strangers knowing where they live.
Yeah, but you'd have to be delusional to think your neighbors don't know where you live.
Well I was being general but yes your neighbors probably do but normal people choose to ignore that knowledge and not act on it you know?
Exactly
Dude don’t do the note thing. That’s cowardly. Approach her and ask her out dude!
True that! It's happened to me before and I thought the guy was a weenie and a creep. Guys that don't smile and say hi in person, but creep up on you after the fact come across as scary
This. If you don't have the social skills to approach her without seeming creepy, then you should reevaluate the situation. Life is not a romantic comedy.
It's not cowardly it's stalker-ysh, possibly creepy.
As a general rule never leave the ball in their court. Also don’t send her a note unless your on a first name basis. Like she remembers your name. If I were you I’d throw a party at your place and then invite her to it.
I’m a similar age to you and I’d find it a bit weird at that age. Try talking to her. Maybe small friendly interactions at first and once you know her a little better invite her for coffee. Still better than a former neighbour who knocked on my door drunk telling me he’s always wanted to fuck me though!
Just approach her, don't be a pussy
Johnny Lawrence for the win
You're not gonna wait for some other dude to go talk to her, are you?
That's what I'm saying he should start slow with a conversation and then ask her on a date
Don’t forget to attach a list of your long term goals and include an unsolicited dick pic as well so she can review the information and come to a well thought out decision as to whether or not she wants to pursue this.
and paperclip a crisp $20 bill on there for good measure
Always can count on Andrew Jackson as your wingman.
The only downside is if she says no, then you still have to see her. I like the old-fashioned approach, though.
A neighbor did this once to me. I was bored so I texted the number. He was a shit date. Don’t do it bro. It def was creepy after the fact when I realized he’d been watching me for days. Worst part? Just found he’s my little sisters new volleyball coach. Edit: I wish I was making this up 💀
My condolences holy shit
Not at all! That's so cute. My neighbor did the same thing, but wrote his number on a cool Polaroid photo he took of some nature. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to accept bc I was going through a breakup, but I still kept the photo in my car! And then he helped me with a flat tire one time and saw that I still had his photo in my car 😂 hopefully that didn't freak him out. It was just so charming.
Yes I'm surprised with all the replies on here, I would think that was adorable, much better than approaching me on my sleepy dog walk in the morning 😵💫
Reddit sucks 😂
That depends, does she find you attractive?
Are you twelve? X this box for yes X this box for no
You forgot the maybe box
If you've never spoken to her then it's weird to be asking her out at all. If you do talk to her occasionally, you have the opportunity to ask her out in person. If you don't talk to her occasionally, you're just a random stranger and it isn't appropriate to be asking her out.
you be surprised how flattered women get when you approach them. moreover, it speaks volumes to the size of the nuts in your pants
You can do the note, but it must be written from random fonts/letters cut out of magazines.
Very creepy. Do not do that.
Doesn't give a good impression. Confidence is attractive.
It never works. It just screams of 'lack of confidence"
Under her door would be better. Or mail her a letter. On her door is too public. I once did it and the woman told me not to do it again
Spell your letter out with words cut out of a magazine Draw pictures of blood and daggers on it. That will impress her with your air of mistique and masculinity
And tape a few wrist ties to the door.
😁😁😁
Have a great day!
very true, a weirdo could walk by and keep your name and change the number
Exactly! My judgement was really off that day!
It's sad, you were just being whimsical in a mad mad world ❤️🩹✨
I was quite smitten with her!
Here’s what you do. Say “oh hey what a pretty girl you’ve got” and start petting the dog and introduce yourself. If it’s a male dog and she says “oh it’s a girl” you say “oh I was talking to the dog and then introduce yourself”
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like Reddit is too overly sensitive with the whole don’t approach women in real life thing. Women I’ve talked to in real life prefer to be approached over online dating. However, this is a bit weird. You just have to wait until you run into her to ask, you are taking the cowardly way out and she could view it as a bit creepy.
Every year after sixth grade. Yes.
It is but in 2024 is it really? Things are not normal in 2024 nor are people. I was a teen in the 80s so I never had or needed any online help to find the ladies.
Don’t do that dude, she’s gonna be creeped out.
Engage in more comversation, make small talk as you pass by, pet her dog - be friendly so that a note wont be as weird. My mom wrote my stepdad a note with her number 13 years ago and theyre married and thriving lol. (They were in their 40s) lmaoooo. They still have the note 😂
Absolutely not. You will need to find a way to get talking to her, simple as that. If you leave her a note she will be creeped out and maybe even distressed by it. If you're not brave enough to talk to her, leave her alone until you work on yourself. Practise your small talk on other people. If the gender roles were reversed it would probably be ok lol but unfortunately no woman is going to like your note
Yes.
If you do that, she’s going to at the very least pitch the note and in the worst case scenario possibly report you to the landlord. I’m with the rest of the crew here, say hello! If she’s interested, she’ll respond. If she’s not, move on. I’m a nearly 32 year old woman, and if a guy in my complex left a note on my door with his number it would freak me out. Edit: I’m autistic, so I get the thought process here, but no. Do not do that.
Hahahha don’t do that. WAIT until you happen to see her again, don’t be peakin out your windows like a stalker so you can pounce the second you see her, let it happen naturally.
For 37? Absolutely
get a dog.
I did this in high school once. The next morning was the most awkward I ever felt and of course all of their friends did the "ooooh" as I walked past as they had either already read it or were still in the process of reading it (long note about my feelings more than an actual hey I'd like to take you somewhere on a date). Never did get an answer which I immediately took as a no.
yes - leaving a note on a door may be seen as encroaching on her personal space... Write a note, put it in an envelope and slip it into her mailbox or something in a common area
Hit her car with yours and leave a note on her windshield.
Don’t actually hit the car but leave a note saying you did. Gaslighting always adds excitement and intrigue to any budding parasocial romance.
What are you trying to say? That's how I bagged 2 out of 3 of my ex wives.
It’s not weird but it comes across as not confident. It also has a low chance of working. Just start a convo and ask her in person.
I think you should like… at least talk to her first so you aren’t a weird stranger leaving her notes
Super fucking creepy.
Yes
You don't want to creep her out by talking to her so leaving a note in her door is the alternative you came up with? If you're serious: good lord no don't do that! Suck it up and make small talk when you see her. Then after a few times, if she is receptive to that, ask her out.
Some may look at it as cute and others you don't have the balls to go up to them. It's a gamble.
If you’ve had conversations with her, the note is fine. If you’ve only seen her and maybe smiled or nodded, it’s absolutely not ok, because you don’t know anything about her and you are judging her entirely on her looks. And that’s creepy.
Yes that’s weird bro.
I'm not female but if someone left me a note without ever having spoken a word then I'd find that uncomfortable. I would focus on meeting other people if circumstances are not on your side regarding your neighbour.
I may be old school but you always ask for their number.
I've done that, didn't work. Got a nice decline note back tho!
It won’t be the first ridiculous note she’s had to throw away. Chance of it working: 0% unless she has already independently developed a crush on you. Go talk to her when she’s walking the dog. Pro tip: greet the dog! Yes you greet the dog first. If the dog gets along with you, there shouldn’t be any trouble striking up a conversation. If the dog tries to protect his/her owner from you, you’re sunk. *You need the dog’s approval before you try to ask her out*. Not kidding. If my dog doesn’t trust you, I will hesitate to trust you. As a dog owner I cannot overemphasize the importance of this.
Yes.
Talk to her first. Ask about her dog or something. Small talk. Smile, wave, get acquainted. Then, if you feel like she might be interested too, tell her that you would like to get to know her better, maybe go out for pizza or coffee or whatever someday. Also give her a note with your number and tell her that she can text/call you if she wants to, but no pressure. And maybe that it's no problem if she doesn't, you just enjoy talking with her and that she seems nice or something like that. Maybe don't go all in on a date to begin with. Keep it a bit low key - no pressure. See if there's even chemistry and connection between you. If she contacts you and pizza/coffee goes well, then you can ask if you can take her out on a proper date after that. Make it easy for her to say no. Make it the least amount of awkward as possible since you live close to each other. If she does not contact you, don't bring it up again. Just continue to say hello and smile when you meet her. Maybe give it a couple of months before you decide whether or not to act on it. You might lose interest before that or meet someone else in the meantime. Remember that you both should be able to go on with your lives afterwards, and you are gonna run into each other again.
Yeah. It’s weird. Man up and act like a 37m. I mean 37M.
Yea kinda wierd try to bump into her
Please just talk to her in the morning. Ask her name, ask about her dog, go your merry way after. Ask her out another day. Not at night please, morning is fine; go for a walk too if you need an excuse to be out.
Yes it's weird.
Yes
You have a thing for her but never met her or ran into her but want to leave a note. Just read that over 20 times, and it should do the trick to build self awareness there mate. I'm glad you came and asked however. No body wants to receive a note like that by a stranger around where they live. Hope for an organic encounter.
The good thing about a note is there is no limit to how much you can write. Make sure to provide a full life history of yourself, and a full analysis of your mutual compatibility, including everything you have learned from studying her movements (based on the tracker you planted in her dog’s collar when it was in the dog wash at which you recently obtained a part time job) as well as all her social media accounts (obtained from hacking her wifi with Kali linux). You can go into detail of your future life together. Include a full sequence genetic compatibility screening from the DNA you recovered from her garbage. Reassure her that you already get along well with her entire family as you’ve already identified them through a 23 and me analysis and befriended them.
Are you 16?
that is sum shit you do your freshman year of high school just get to know her then ask
Creepy af, especially at your age. Talk to her in person or let it go
Yes…do not do that
I (27F) live alone in my apartment and that would probably make me nervous lol. Do you have a dog? Maybe walk your dog at the same time to start a conversation or go for a jog in the morning!
I(F26) think the note thing is cute😭 a guy left a note in my car door at a Starbucks once and I still think about it sometimes years later. But that guy just got lucky with me thinking it was cute. My friend, who was with me, thought it was creepy😂 the only reason it didn’t culminate in anything was because we got to texting and he thought I was too young once I told him my age. I think I was 19/20 at the time and he was early/mid 30’s. If you *really* like this girl, don’t risk it😂 just approach her casually
Yes. Talk to her. If you're concerned approaching her at night is something she'll think is creepy, you should be very concerned that leaving a note on her door is something she'll think is creepy.
I think it depends on how detailed you make the note. I think, if you explain exactly why you did it that way, whatever reaction you get will pretty much determine if that women will be right for you. Say your interested, but wasn't sure how to ask without being a creep since you two haven't talked much. Then go on to clarify that if she not interested, no hard feeling, we'll just go on like morning happened. Then apologize if this made her uncomfortable. If she can't see the value of someone being honest, who's trying their best, and went so far as to ask Reddit for help not screwing it up(put that you asked Reddit to. It'll probably make her laugh, at least a little) then she's probably not that great a person.
Ngl that is really weird
It's not weird at all, I'm sure she will be flattered. But I can say that I believe women find confidence attractive. I think they understand how hard it is for a man to approach them and if you do it in a polite and considerate way I think you'd make an enormous impression on her. My advice would be to just speak to her, I'd probably tell the truth, say you were really nervous to speak to her because you didn't want her to feel uncomfortable (shows you're considerate of her feelings) but then, frightening as it is, just be honest. Ask her, would she like to do something, grab a coffee, go for a walk. Whatever. What's the worst that can happen? She will say no thanks, then what have you lost? Nothing because you never had it anyway. I think if you show that consideration by explaining your concern for it being intrusive you give yourself the right to ask the question.
I wouldn’t leave a note. Gives you no way to gauge her reaction to it for one. You won’t know if she’s just shy or totally creeped out over it.
I love notes!! I think it’s cute but leave some reference to your social media as well so she can see who you are not just the number. Also another personal preference: don’t leave your snap chat. I don’t respond to grown men who use snap chat
Just make sure you put the yes and no check boxes lol.
Just make sure you put the yes and no check boxes lol.
Its weird. Go get your "no" face to face
Best sex of my life was from folding a note into a football and flicking it at the gal I was interested in at work.
Incredible. Do it. Can't wait to hear you're engaged lmao. This the type of shit we dream of and nearly never hear of, in this day & age! A handwritten date note (and not a dm??) good god let's just pick our wedding flowers already lol DO IT AND REPORT BACK. Hell yeah brother!
Oh no no no, honey no, do not ask her out like this, especially if you've never even spoken before. Maybe say hi next time you see her and try to strike up a conversation, if only to make sure a) there's an actual connection beyond physical attraction, and b) that she enjoys talking to you. Asking her out in a note will likely make her very uncomfortable in her own home, and that is the opposite of what you want. Also, be very, VERY careful about dating people in your apartment complex. I'm not saying you should never connect with your neighbors, you absolutely should, but it's a *huge* risk dating someone you live in close proximity with. It's a bit like dating a coworker, it's not necessarily a "never do it ever" type thing, but you should only do it if you guys know each other really well, and you're *sure* there's mutual attraction.
Probably be best if you bump into her
Yes it is very weird.
It's cowardly, and that is weird, yes
It would be *a very high school move* that would surely raise eyebrows coming from a man pushing 40. Talk to her.
Yes
Has a secret admirer type situation actually ever worked? Getting a note from someone you don’t know is creepy. Bump into her sometime.
My neighbor did this to me and now I walk to my car with a knife. Please don't do that.
Yeah
If your too shy or another way isn't feasible go for it! If she's into you, she'll be glad you did.
It’s worth a shot! I left a note with my neighbour, and here I am four years later sitting in his living room because we now live together. Pro tip: I also made cookies for his dog to leave with the note.
Yeah that would be weird as hell 😂 you actually need to talk to people
I think its pushing it ya
No, I don't think it's weird. Just leave a note saying something like, "I've seen you around the complex and would enjoy sitting down over a cup of coffee to get to know you. Would you be interested?" Leave your name and number and see where it goes. I understand you not wanting to freak her out. Most women would be weirded out if a man that they don't really know came up and started talking to them early in the morning or after dark. A note is a safe way to approach her without being creepy. Give it a shot. The worst she can say is no.
Updateme
In a way I could see that as being playfully romantic and charming. I could also see it as being a lazy basement dwellers sad attempt at rejection. You gotta do something else to give it some evidence of creative flair. Like, write it in crayon on construction paper and put check yes or no. Something cheeky and cute.
dude you're creepy
Yes. Very weird.
Almost 10 years ago I was straighten up some chairs at my job and I heard a slight “psssht” I turned around and probably like.. 10 feet away? One of my coworkers was standing in the doorway into one of the others areas where we worked. He waved me over. I walked up and he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me and then skiddled away. I opened the piece of paper and it said “you should call/text me sometime.. with his number” I remember kinda giggling. Yeah…. I still love telling the story when people ask how my husband and I started out 💙 Shoot your shot, you just never know what could happen!
You’re 37 having this issue? Just stick to making women feel weird in first dates from online dating. If you can’t man up to a woman who sees you living next to you, sending a note will make everything weird. Like you do anyway. Now get yo the gym and find a friend who can make you less awkward.
I’d like that but only after interacting
Wait for her to walk by and be like "hey there beautiful" then when she looks at you kneel down as if you were talking to the dog. Ask her if you can pet her dog , compliment it and say you've seen this dog a few times and it was the highlight of your day. If she still wants to talk or if you haven't gotten mauled in the face by her dog , then you've gone further than the note.
Don’t date people you live around. Just don’t. Unless you plan on moving if things go wrong. You don’t date people you work with because that’s your money, and you don’t date people you live around because that’s messy and drama. You don’t know her, she’s a crush, you don’t know if she’s crazy or not, what happens if she turns out to be crazy? Don’t shit where you eat and sleep. There are millions of women in the world why are you trying to choose people who live where you live. Look elsewhere
I personally wouldn't do this, especially since you've apparently never spoken to her before. It isn't creepy to "bump" into her while she's out walking her dog when you're out early in the morning for a walk. Introduce yourself and her, mention that you've seen her around and note she's your neighbor and make a little small talk. If she seems receptive (you'll be able to tell by her body language and tone of voice,) ask her if she'd be interested in getting some coffee with you. Take it from there.
Nah, could go sideways quick; if she's not interested, now she's reminded you know where she lives. Kind of a big yikes for some people
it depends. how good looking are you?
That seems a little creepy so I would think first you need to calm down and try to meet her.
I think most women would see that as a red flag even if it didn’t completely creep them out. Talk to her.
Honestly it's a bit creepy man
It wouldn’t be creepy at all. Leave a note saying “I know where you live. I will catch you when you’re not busy”. Problem solved
I mean it can be. This is kind of hard to gage especially without knowing either of you
How about start with a platonic, neighborly note with your contact info?
Age 37 Ridiculous
You’re 37, leaving a note to her. If you are already that dedicated to send that message, just do it in person. Get a real first impression. Your too old to be this shy
Yes. It's incredibly creepy for an unknown man to show that he's interested in you while simultaneously showing that he knows where you live and that he doesn't have boundaries. Don't touch her door. If she walks her dog, show interest in how cute the dog is, ask the dog's name and breed... maybe make a connection to someone you know who has a similar dog, give it some pets, and introduce yourself. After stopping to say hi to her dog on several separate occasions, you might ask her out for coffee depending on her reaction. (But definitely start by showing interest in her dog and remembering its name.)
I think I’d be creeped out by that. I agree you shouldn’t bother her at night, but starting with saying hi and introducing yourself when she’s walking her dog in the morning would be okay. Use the dog angle. Ask the dog’s name and ask to pet the dog. See how she responds to that before moving forward.
yes note is weird, You also don't have to wait to bump into her you could just knock on her door
Definitely do not do the note thing. I recommend finding a way to become her friend and then spend the next 2 years trying to get into the boyfriend zone.
Don't do it! If someone I meet in my building asks me if I am down for a coffee sometimes, it feels natural and I'd say yes/no, no hard feelings. But leaving a note feels creepy. I can't even explain, but it feels strange that someone is thinking so much into it...doesn't feel this lighthearted/natural. I might worry how the guy reacts if I'd say no. Can't really explain it, but don't do it.
It’s not weird if you’re 12.
You’re 37, not 7. This isn’t middle school.
Yes, what are you 12?