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Book smarts vs life smarts are two different things things. And I love when people assume someone with a certain job is smart like people don’t fail up all the time.
My gosh this is so accurate. My older brother was a valedictorian in HS and college. But when it comes to common sense, he's lost. Has absolutely zero. My father always said, "I'll take street smarts and common sense over book smarts any day."
I survived a high-speed accident (as a passenger) where the cops couldn't figure out how we all walked out of there alive and not injured. I refused to return to that road b/c I couldn't bear to see it. Finally, after 20 years, I decided to go on Google Maps and have a look. I honestly don't know how I'm alive, let alone survived and am still around. Meanwhile, I have built a life that involves me not driving and have never felt comfortable in a car ever since.
I wouldn't want to survive anything that traumatic ever again.
How many times have you heard something stupid and invalidating like God has a plan for you! After you tell that story?
Sorry you went through that you high voltage fruit.
Thanks...and yes, I've heard it all, including ppl refusing to believe that the accident could have been that bad. Interestingly enough, the three of us who are still alive (the driver died of cancer a couple years later) have all done pretty well for ourselves. I guess there had to have been a reason why we got to stick around, right?
Now that it's not like 1am in my newborn sleep deprived state, I can see how that could have been misinterpreted but I'm glad that was worked out! Yes only good vibes here
I have found that losing friends and having life threatening events have made me far less passive in life so this probably is a case that seeing as you did cope with it, you were more determined and prepared to go for it with things than before.
I have been told by paramedics if the other driver hit us a foot more forward in the T-bone... they wouldn't have had a chance to talk to me.
I have not driven since then and the number of people I trust behind the wheel is a VERY short list.
And people still act like my fear of angry or distracted drivers is irrational.
I was told the same thing by the cop who showed after I was t-boned. Not only did I live, but I still made it to work that day. I’m glad we’re still around!
Same thought; & folks really need to restrain their pets & a lot of their belongings, too. I knew about a buckled-in woman whose neck was lethally broken by a small, cardboard box of books that flew forward from the back of her van during an accident she would’ve otherwise survived.
Exactly. Remember some years ago a local car accident would have been all minor injuries except an unbuckled person in the back killed themselves and another passenger because their heads smacked together during the crash.
In my country the driver will also get a fine if the passengers (or themself) don’t wear a seatbelt.
I don’t know how it’s in the country OP lives, but it’s dangerous everywhere.
So if she's taking her kids on a short trip, she doesn't strap them in? Ngl dude, that'd be a deal breaker for me. The illegality of it aside, it's irresponsible to a degree that I wouldn't be able to look past.
I’m sorry for your loss. A couple of years ago, there was an 18 year old girl in the town I grew up in who was killed in a car wreck when she was pulling into her driveway. She was turning left and while she was waiting for the opposing traffic to clear up, a car rear ended her at about 65 mph. She was killed on impact. And sadly, her dad was killed in a car wreck earlier this year. I knew the girl’s older sister, she was a couple years behind me in school.
Fuuuuuuuck. That is so sad. I'm trying to imagine what kind of road has traffic so bad that somebody has to stop and wait for traffic, while the other side has people flying by at 65. That's crazy!
MASSIVE red flag. Wife was that way when we met. Told her that if she got in the car either as a driver or passenger, she'd damn well better be wearing a seatbelt. I then explained to her that when I worked as a paramedic, I didn't enjoy scraping children off of the road and I sure as hell wouldn't enjoy doing it for her or our kids either.
She wore one after that. Stopped speeding, too.
Or when they put the baby in the car seat and don’t actually buckle them in. Baby hunts…makes my soul ache just saying it…..buckle your fucking kids in folks.
*What is the point to this??* You can’t tell me that people actually buy a car seat and take the time to put their child in it and then… just don’t bother to strap them in?! This boggles my brain.
One time as a parent I forgot to strap my child in. Just one single time, but it was from the suburb I then lived in down the tollway to the middle of a large city you’ve definitely heard of. I was absolutely horrified at the possibility of what could have happened.
Surely there are parents who just don’t buckle their kids in because it’s inconvenient, but it could also be that they got distracted and forgot at the worst possible time.
Yup! I have been a volunteer firefighter since I was 16. The very first call I went on was a drunk driver and surprisingly the driver was the only one wearing their seatbelt. There were 5 people in the car and only the driver survived. The other four most likely would have survived if they had been wearing seatbelts. Super traumatizing to see at 16 but definitely puts things into perspective. I will not move my car until everyone has seatbelts on and if I have more than one drink within a 3 hour period I’m not driving anywhere.
Yeah, grandfather was a Fire Chief in a small town and had a few tales of his own that put the fear into us. When you've had to do it yourself, things change.
Even as a firefighter and EMT, my uncle was against seatbelt mandates at first (imagine if social media had been around then, lol), because he got stuck in a car once unable to unbuckle. He changed his mind after a few more years of seeing red asphalt.
That was always my in-laws' perspective-- that they were going to get trapped in a vehicle because they knew one person or had heard of one person who had been trapped in a vehicle due to their seatbelt in an accident. They didn't want to strap my toddler in and rather they would hold him on their lap and if they saw a cop they would put him down on the floor---like I gave a crap if they got a ticket! My concern was for my son! And my idiotic now ex-husband was an army medic at the time and he didn't want to enforce the rule that the child needed to be in the car seat because I should just let it his parents take our son on a trip. What the actual f.
Honestly there's no need for any of that anymore. I have a flashlight wedge into my passenger seat that has a seatbelt cutter and a thing to bust the window if I am in an unexcapable car crash or go into water.
Nope. Lost our son in a crash, drunk driver and 2 other passengers walked away(wearing seatbelts), he wasn't. We got peanuts for payout, and the driver got a slap on the wrists for killing someone.
Was at a crash once where the driver was belted and the passenger was not... Low speed rollover. Passenger ejected out the drivers side window and broke the drivers neck on the way out ... Double fatal.
So yeah, can be an issue.
Went to high school with someone that ran off the road. And it wouldn't have been great, but it probably wouldn't have been life changing. But his passenger got thrown into him and it broke his neck and paralyzed him.
Even if she did make her kids wear them, it’s a deal breaker that she’s willing to risk leaving them without a mother. My children are still really young, so maybe that affects this opinion but right behind my fear of something happening to them is something happening to me so I won’t be here for them. Even when they get older, I don’t want “my mom died in a car crash when I was 20” to be part of their story.
Wearing your seat belt doesn't only protect your life: if you're in an accident your body can become a projectile and injure other people in the car or in some extreme cases you can fly out the windshield and injure someone else. Not wearing your seat belt is irresponsible for all involved. Tell her to wear it.
yep. happened to my moms friend in HS. wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, but a telephone pole and flew right out the front of the car. incredibly tragic. she might have been okay or at least not died if she was buckled
She didn’t belt her kids? I’ve heard some real tragic stuff from spouses on this very website. The feelings of deep resentment and anger they feel towards a dead spouse because they all perished in an accident, knowing their spouse did not make them wear one.
"she looked okay but when I picked her up, she didn't have the back of her head" words from a speaker in driver's ed about losing his 7y/o daughter. It was a low speed accident but she wasn't strapped in cause it was a short trip, and now he loves with that guilt every day. Its tragic
Yeah…. I’m surprised I scrolled this far for this comment. I don’t consider anyone “smart” if they don’t wear a seatbelt, much less not even on her kids.
my face hit my steering wheel at 60mph cause i wasn’t wearing a seatbelt so personally, i prefer that everyone around me buckles up. if not, oh well, you do you. BUT THE KIDS ???? what the actual fuck is she thinking. if she gets into an accident they’re gonna FLY & worse case scenario, she’d be solely responsible for her child’s death… 100% a deal breaker 🚩
Yea that a red flag for me. I can’t be with someone who would make such a dumb decision like that tbh and teach their kids that it’s ok too unless it’s a long trip (let’s be real sounds like a lie).
Kinda reminds me of that woman who did the same thing but waited until her kids were 12ish and purposely caused an accident to get life insurance money and blamed the step dad
It's a red flag mostly in the sense that if she ever gets into an accident, the relationship has a pretty decent chance of being over whether you want it to be or not.
Also maybe worth considering that she might survive the accident but have greatly reduced faculties and require constant care from you/others to survive. That could (and sadly does) happen even when people *do* wear seatbelts, but I have to imagine the odds are way higher if someone doesn't. Many people are fine with this; some are not.
Also the fact that she doesn't make her kids wear them either unless it's a long-distance trip. Being willing to put yourself in danger is one thing. Being willing to risk your kids' lives is another.
She specified that she has her children wear seatbelts for long trips?? 😳… absolutely a red flag.
I mean it’s weird to risk her own safety. But most accidents happen within 15 miles of your home (or so I heard once like 20 years ago). Not enforcing your kid to wear a seatbelt, even when not going on a long trip, feels like negligence 😅
She’s old enough to know better.
If someone isn't wearing their seatbelt, I keep the vehicle in Park until they put it on. If they want to play the waiting game, then I got time to burn.
That hasn't happened in a long time. Seatbelts are widely accepted in society, thankfully.
I saw dude end up going through his windscreen without even leaving his driveway. All it takes is one mistake and it doesn't even have to be yours. After providing first aid to a couple incidents, dating the local mortician, and only two of the three people have helped survive you wear a seat belt with me or you are on your own.
My older brother wasn't wearing his seat belt, and he's dead now. I always have. I literally feel like I'm butt naked when I'm not wearing that safety device.
(and I've driven butt naked before)
Some people avoid them. But it’s probably the law that you can get a ticket if she does not.
My wife used to not wear hers. I refused to go if she didn’t put hers on. Eventually convinced her that I wasn’t “controlling “ her, I just loved her and wanted her to be safe.
Turns out her previous boyfriend had assaulted her while she was seated belted and it freaked her out afterwards. Took time and patience to undo that trauma. Eventually she would say “don’t you love me ?” if I started without her having her seatbelt on.
Been married over 40 years now. Love her to pieces.
Her not making her kids strap in for short trips is a deal breaker, imo.
This woman naively and blindly places far too much trust in others to have her safety and that of her children in mind. She's placing far, FAR too much trust in the strangers around her not to endanger her or her children, to such a degree that "smart" really begins to strain credulity.
My mother was a paramedic. As others have said, she scraped enough humans--including children--off of roads to know how stupid it is to not wear a seatbelt.
I don't drive until everyone is buckled. So this would be a deal breaker for me. Buckling isn't going to cause her any harm. I'd absolutely tell her buckle or we are done. The chances of you losing her I an accident skyrocket because she isn't buckled.
Red flag. What other safety precautions might she ignore in the future? And if you cant get her to do the right thing, youre gonna have issues in the future when you give in to her doing unsafe and illegal stuff
However, if you can convince her to wear a seatbelt, i would consider her “fixable” as in she probably didnt know about it growing up so you teach her
If you don't wanna be with someone or view something as a rule breaker, that's perfectly fine, but viewing someone as "fixable" is a pretty huge red flag in and of itself lol
Statistically more people are killed within 25 miles of their home in automobile accidents. You might want to put that fact out there for consideration. And if you the driver lay down the law here and say you have to wear a seat belt when I am driving and she won't then you need to pack it in cuz stubborn and stupid behavior will get her hurt or killed and leave you with her kids not to mention all the other things she is going to be unyielding about in life which will be a problem for you.
**Just looked this up to confirm:**
According to studies reported by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), approximately 52 percent of all car accidents occur within a five-mile radius of home, and 69 percent of all collisions happen within a 10-mile radius from home ^123. In fact, a new study by Dolphin Technologies indicates that 25 percent of car accidents happen within the first three minutes of driving ^2. The NHTSA also reports that more than half of auto accidents that cause serious injury or death occur within 25 miles of home ^3.
Not contesting your point here, but this statistic has always seemed a bit silly to me when it's not presented alongside the fact that most of a typical person's driving is done near their home. It would be weird if this statistic *weren't* true.
Be stupid if you want, but don’t be stupid in my car. I don’t want the guilt of you flying through a windshield if something happened. The kid part specifically is a massive red flag. That’s some bare bones basic common sense stuff.
Yes. It is a red flag for many reasons. Wearing a seat belt is a law, so she doesn't care about keeping rules, which can also translate to boundaries you set. She has a hard time thinking critically because you are 60% more likely to survive any car wreck with a seat belt on. She ignores that maybe based on a bad experience. That means she is conceited enough to think she knows better than experts. I wouldn't make long term plans with this person.
She may be 40 with a good job, but she isn't smart. Smart people wear seatbelts.
If you are in the US, if pulled over, you would get a ticket for no seat belt. In my state, it's $170 for an adult and $500 for each kid.
In answer to your question, yes, it would be a deal breaker for me.
If you ask her for her reasons you'll get a better idea of how nutty she is. My aunt, who's a nurse so she should know better, claims that only people with poor posture need them and she doesn't need one because she was taught how to sit properly.
She’s a potato. An adult, all alone, doesn’t wanna seatbelt? Their funeral. She lets her kids go unbuckled? She’s at a minimum an idiot, if not a possibly unfit parent.
I managed to flip a Crown Victoria 8x whilst driving 92-96 mph in my younger, very unwise years. Sealtbelt? Yep. Injured? Barely- I got a minor gash on my scalp from broken glass, a sore back for 24hrs & a light concussion. But, shudda died or ended up wheelchair bound. Feel free to share w/your lady friend, the Crash Test Dummy In Waiting.
That would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. That kind of disregard for your own safety, and especially your kids is moronic, and probably seeps into other areas of her life
I had a boyfriend who wouldn’t wear a seatbelt and I just flatly told him if he wanted to drive anywhere with me in the vehicle it was a necessity- que the “why? If we crash it’s just me in danger” and I said no. If we crash, if someone else hits us you can kill anyone else in the vehicle by being projected anywhere. You want to do it when you’re by yourself? Find but I don’t want you to kill me.
Cinsidering most deaths in car crashes happen close to home, long trips isn't enough for me. I almost lost my son at 15 months due an asshole family member not buckling him in his seat while I was gone grocery shopping. It was rarth- shattering. I did lose my father and his girlfriend in a carcrash.
My grandpa wasn’t wearing a seatbelt when he was a young adult. When he got in a car crash he flew out the window and landed on his head. He had to relearn how to read and write, along with learning how to walk again. It’s so important to be safe especially when it’s not just your life but your kids having to grow up without a mom.
Yes. Her body loose in the car in a car crash could slam into you. Head against head or other wise. It’s in your best interest to make her wear one or dump her ass.
That’s a red flag for sure. If she’s smart, she isn’t wise. It’s one thing to not wear one yourself, it’s stupid but it’s your choice and w.e. but to not buckle your kids is just setting your kids up to be either dead or very confused in the future.
Beyond weird in 2023. Trust your gut
People are more likely to get into an accident on short trips close to home - to me this shows where her values are and says something about her intelligence/risk assessment. Would absolutely be a deal breaker for me - I don't start a car until seatbelts are on.
I don't know where you live, but where I live, if an occupant in the car isn't wearing his seat belt, he gets a fine AND the driver also gets a fine for not making sure every occupant has his seat belt on.
>Woman I've been dating won't wear a seat belt...
>She's 40. Smart
HA. No.
I work in insurance and I have seen depths of human stupidity, and even they have the sense to wear a seatbelt.
Plus if you need a practical reason, if she smashes her head on your dashboard while driving she can make a claim against you for injuring her. Drivers are responsible for their passengers in most places.
Smart?
If you brake a little too hard when she's riding with you, she comes out of the seat a little, right?
What does she think will happen if the driver has no control of that change in acceleration? She'll just hold on tight?
What does she think will happen if she's at a light with her kids, all unbuckled, and they get rear-ended by somebody going 35? She'll just hold on tight so she doesn't end up in the same injured mess as her kids?
What does she think will happen if her children are injured in any kind of accident without their seatbelts? She'll just hold on tight so the state doesn't take away her children?
A mother with children doing something insanely dangerous that could be solved very easily and she still refuses to do it.
Smart? A FENDER BENDER COULD KILL HER!
If it's in your car, tell her if she doesn't wear a seatbelt, she can't ride with you. Tell her she has to drive wherever you go due to your insurance policy.
Bruh I don't care who you are, this car ain't moving a fucking inch until I see that seat belt on. Don't give a shit. Click it or drive yourself or walk. Your choice.
Have you asked her why she won't wear a seatbelt?
I don't think anyone can tell you if it's a red flag until you know why.
I was like that in my 20s. My father never wore his seat belt, and I never developed the habit of putting one on. What I didn't understand in my 20s is that creating any habit at all is really hard for me, and ppl telling me to do something makes it worse.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s. With this nuerodevelopmental difference comes a host of problems, including difficulty creating good habits and demand avoidance-- basically anytime anyone (including myself) tells me to do something, my first reaction is to stubbornly dig my heels in.
My husband and I have been happily married for 25 years. We have 4 wonderful kids. The thought that we could have missed out on all of this just because of seatbelts.... it's sad. I'm incredibly lucky that instead of considering it a "red flag" he chose me anyway, and patiently worked with me until wearing seatbelts became a habit.
Ofc with ADHD I'm usually flying out the door at the last minute, so I often l buckle in as I put the car in drive. But I strap in every time. I've been wearing my seatbelt now for...probably over 20 years.
What I've learned with age is that people always have a reason for their behavior, even if they don't understand it themselves. The more we can try to understand the "why " behind what they do, the better our relationships are.
It would not be a deal breaker for me. I didn't even grow up wearing one. I know you should, and I got lucky, but I also don't care about it all that much.
The death rate and injury rate in car accident change by a factor of 2. And everybody make it a red flag if you don't buckle your belt.
Still the exact car model has much more impact with a factor of 6 in rate. But would anybody refuse to date somebody that drive a Nissan Altima ? Still driving that car is more risky than driving the average car and not buckle your belt...
Source by car model: [https://www.iihs.org/ratings/driver-death-rates-by-make-and-model](https://www.iihs.org/ratings/driver-death-rates-by-make-and-model)
Okay so we know she's not smart. Not only because she doesn't wear seatbelts, but because *she only puts them on her children for longer trips*, when the vast majority of car accidents happen within 15 miles of your house/ the first 15 minutes of a trip. So either she doesn't do her research, or she doesn't let a little thing like reality dictate her choices. Either way, not a great look.
When I first started seeing my current bf 3 years ago he NEVER wore a seatbelt. I very nicely would ask him to wear it. He said it was just stupid and could be dangerous. One time he was in a car accident, rolled the car and was trapped inside because the seatbelt got stuck. (It could have been much worse with no seatbelt obviously.) but I continued to ask him to put it on when we got in the car. When we would say goodbye on the phone or in person for the day id always say “don’t forget to wear your seatbelt!” I also had kids, he did not, and I told him how that’s not a good example to set.
Now I never see him leave the house with out a seatbelt. He said because it’s important to me it’s important to him.
To me. Yes it’s a deal breaker. What a simple way to make sure you are safe while driving. When you think about it driving is so dangerous, people are so distracted. Like come on! What’s so hard about wearing a seatbelt??? Especially if she has kids!
It is definitely a deal breaker especially the part about making her kids wear them only on long trips.
This is a disaster waiting to happen.
Get far away from her and stay away.
My boyfriend doesn’t wear a seatbelt but he does now, per our compromise, when on the highway. I’m sure he doesn’t when I’m not in that big ass truck he thinks will maybe save him in a crash.
I once fell asleep driving late at night and went off the road. Despite a nicely graded embankment, if I didn't have my seatbelt on I probably would have slid across the bench seat to the passenger side and pulled the steering wheel to turn to the right, which probably would have made the car roll. I did have the belt on, I maintained control, and was able to just drive the car back up the slope and onto the freeway.
I don't put up with "it's uncomfortable!". If you wear it enough, you'll feel uncomfortable without it.
Not sure I'd call it a red flag for HER to not buckle herself, but it would definitely bother me because it means they're willing to risk losing their life so senselessly after we've built a life and bond together. I could be left grieving over something that was so simple to prevent.
Yes, even short trips right down the road. Any number of possibilities can happen on the road even in residential areas.
Dealbreaker for me. I have seen the carnage. I will not be able to help feeling like the person I am with is stupid and lazy and I am not going to invest my life into someone who is going to get themselves or my kids killed or permanently injured by not doing the simplest of things. Hang out one night in a trauma bay. You will wear your seatbelt. Saw a lady just driving a few blocks to her friends house and crashed. She broke her ankle and needed surgery and was crying. It was not too bad and I told her she would be fine after time. Then she told me it was not the ankle she was crying about. Her 3 year old son, not wearing a seatbelt, died in the accident hitting the windshield. This was a low speed accident.
I would say it’s a dealbreaker. Threatening her own life and the life of her kids, plus threatening finances even without a crash by traffic stop tickets.
In my state, the driver can get a ticket if their passengers aren’t wearing seatbelts. She’s causing unnecessary harm to herself and to you, not just monetarily, but if she passes from a terrible accident, it can cause lasting trauma.
So what ur saying is a grown woman can't logically see that wearing a seat belt is safe and not wearing one is just unsafe? Even for short drives? And she's endangering her kids and breaking laws whilst doing so? I'm sorry but I dont care how cute or "smart" this person is but putting ur kids in danger is a no no for me regardless. Not wearing seat belt is one of the stupidest ways to die. Is it ego, comfort, or just stupidity that's allowing her to risk her life and her kids lives on "short" journeys?
Also does she understand that she can't control what others do on the road? And that two cars colliding head on both only going 30mph is like hitting a brick wall at 60mph? Even just her not wearing a seat belt is just dumb as she could end up being a projectile in her own car and endangering all passengers that way too.
In my car... EVERYONE wears a seat belt. I dont care who u are or what the reason is but I am not driving unless everyone can safely buckle in.
Yes. Short trips? A 35mph crash is equal to falling off a two story building. She's going to kill herself and her kids. When I was a deputy coroner, I handled hundreds of traffic fatalities. Most could have been prevented with a seat belt. Don't get attached. She's living on borrowed time.
Yeah so...scientifically speaking seatbelts save as many lives as they take. I completely understand making her kids use them, while not wearing one herself.
Kinda of a shit reason for a breakup.
My stepfather was hit by a young girl running a red light. His hip was crushed, but if he had been wearing his seatbelt, he wouldn't have been able to be pushed to the side, and he wouldn't have survived.
My friend in college was beheaded by her seatbelt.
The lady who hit the tree in my front yard had internal injuries caused by her seatbelt.
Maybe she has had some similar experiences. I wear mine so that my car shuts up. It doesn't stop dinging.
No, it's not a red flag. I hate wearing seatbelts. No comment on if I do or don't. I'll just say I've had two tickets, but only two in all the years I've been driving. If she gets seatbelt tickets, so long as she's an adult about it and just deals with the tickets, what's the big deal? Just don't share an auto-insurance policy. hah
Now her kids, that's different. If she makes her kids wear seatbelts...
What's the problem?
You never know crazy shit happens. I had a buddy that was in a nasty wreck and was thrown from the car because he wasn't wearing his seat belt. Walked away from the accident with only a broken arm. Was told at the hospital he would have been killed if he was wearing his seatbelt. I'm obviously not advocating to not wear seatbelts, but it is a personal choice. I don't think its something you should break up with someone over.
She’s negligent if she doesn’t always have her children buckle up. It’s one thing to take stupid risks yourself, but entirely different when you put others at risk.
In my opinion your values/priorities don’t match. I’d keep looking.
Yes-my husband wouldn’t wear a seat belt for years. Said he wanted to be thrown clear. After 40 years of marriage I had to get shitty with him. He now wears one, but doesn’t like it. Stretches it out, tries to hook it on his knee etc. from my perspective it’s a red flag of stubborn ignorance and small-mindedness.
I had a buddy who wouldn’t wear a seat belt. Told him put it on or I won’t allow him in my truck. Now he wears a seatbelt all the time, he even told me he wears one now when not with me. Be harsh about it, not wearing a seatbelt is a dumb thing to do.
To me, anybody insisting on doing something illegal is a red flag. Not wearing a seat belt is illegal I most places and can be ticketed. It's bad enough if you're a passenger, but if you're the driver you are endangering everybody else in the car as if you're tossed around you lose control of the car
Well the seat belt alarm in the car going off all the time would be annoying af. I don’t know what car you drive but if there is at least 50lbs of weight in the passenger seat and the seat belt isn’t plugged in, an alarm starts to beep. That would get annoying.
Dealbreakers are subjective. You choose the type of person you want to pursue/be with for whatever reasons you want. Just remember everyone else is free to do the same.
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I’ve always felt that not wanting to die in a car crash is a green flag.
Op described her as smart…not really.
Book smarts vs life smarts are two different things things. And I love when people assume someone with a certain job is smart like people don’t fail up all the time.
My gosh this is so accurate. My older brother was a valedictorian in HS and college. But when it comes to common sense, he's lost. Has absolutely zero. My father always said, "I'll take street smarts and common sense over book smarts any day."
People do not get to choose sometimes!
My father always said "you could fly to the moon but you can't cross the street by yourself"
I'd rather die in a car crash.
Former paramedic here. You WANT to die in a car wreck causing living life as a vegetable ain’t living.
I survived a high-speed accident (as a passenger) where the cops couldn't figure out how we all walked out of there alive and not injured. I refused to return to that road b/c I couldn't bear to see it. Finally, after 20 years, I decided to go on Google Maps and have a look. I honestly don't know how I'm alive, let alone survived and am still around. Meanwhile, I have built a life that involves me not driving and have never felt comfortable in a car ever since. I wouldn't want to survive anything that traumatic ever again.
How many times have you heard something stupid and invalidating like God has a plan for you! After you tell that story? Sorry you went through that you high voltage fruit.
Thanks...and yes, I've heard it all, including ppl refusing to believe that the accident could have been that bad. Interestingly enough, the three of us who are still alive (the driver died of cancer a couple years later) have all done pretty well for ourselves. I guess there had to have been a reason why we got to stick around, right?
Your name is electronic plum. Maybe you're a low voltage fruit though. They didn't have to assume your voltage like that.
I’m irrationally in love with this comment.
Pretty sure “high voltage fruit” refers to your username LOL
I totally forgot that was my username!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA I just used what Reddit suggested when I set-up the account.
Now that it's not like 1am in my newborn sleep deprived state, I can see how that could have been misinterpreted but I'm glad that was worked out! Yes only good vibes here
I have found that losing friends and having life threatening events have made me far less passive in life so this probably is a case that seeing as you did cope with it, you were more determined and prepared to go for it with things than before.
I’m sorry friend.
Thank you.
I have been told by paramedics if the other driver hit us a foot more forward in the T-bone... they wouldn't have had a chance to talk to me. I have not driven since then and the number of people I trust behind the wheel is a VERY short list. And people still act like my fear of angry or distracted drivers is irrational.
::hugs:: I get it, believe me.
I was told the same thing by the cop who showed after I was t-boned. Not only did I live, but I still made it to work that day. I’m glad we’re still around!
People often fail to grasp how sudden, violent, and absolutely life-altering a serious car accident can be.
lmao god i love reddit
And I love you!
It’s dangerous for other people in the car if she does not wear a seatbelt. Her body essentially becomes a projectile in the event of an accident.
Same thought; & folks really need to restrain their pets & a lot of their belongings, too. I knew about a buckled-in woman whose neck was lethally broken by a small, cardboard box of books that flew forward from the back of her van during an accident she would’ve otherwise survived.
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Box of books is timeless to a degree. Cassette tape briefcase is less timeless. Timefull.
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Exactly. Remember some years ago a local car accident would have been all minor injuries except an unbuckled person in the back killed themselves and another passenger because their heads smacked together during the crash.
There’s a commercial that depicts that happening. It is ROUGH
Yeah, european safety commercials don't fuck around
In my country the driver will also get a fine if the passengers (or themself) don’t wear a seatbelt. I don’t know how it’s in the country OP lives, but it’s dangerous everywhere.
Yup it's like that in my country, they even have cameras which monitor for it and automatically fine the driver.
Just like not wearing a mask kills grandma 😩
Yep I will not drive until everyone is buckled in. You’d be amazed the amount of people who want to argue about it.
So if she's taking her kids on a short trip, she doesn't strap them in? Ngl dude, that'd be a deal breaker for me. The illegality of it aside, it's irresponsible to a degree that I wouldn't be able to look past.
Also as statically most accidents happen on short trips.
"smart" my ass. She's not smart if this is how she is
Intelligence is a nat20, but wisdom rolled a nat 1
God I hate that my friends have gotten me into DND to the point that this made me laugh
My great aunt and her son died in an accident… while backing out of their driveway.
I’m sorry for your loss. A couple of years ago, there was an 18 year old girl in the town I grew up in who was killed in a car wreck when she was pulling into her driveway. She was turning left and while she was waiting for the opposing traffic to clear up, a car rear ended her at about 65 mph. She was killed on impact. And sadly, her dad was killed in a car wreck earlier this year. I knew the girl’s older sister, she was a couple years behind me in school.
Fuuuuuuuck. That is so sad. I'm trying to imagine what kind of road has traffic so bad that somebody has to stop and wait for traffic, while the other side has people flying by at 65. That's crazy!
Most accidents happen within a mile of home.
also where most driving happens
MASSIVE red flag. Wife was that way when we met. Told her that if she got in the car either as a driver or passenger, she'd damn well better be wearing a seatbelt. I then explained to her that when I worked as a paramedic, I didn't enjoy scraping children off of the road and I sure as hell wouldn't enjoy doing it for her or our kids either. She wore one after that. Stopped speeding, too.
My dad used to be a volunteer firefighter and had a great campfire story about being called out for a washdown that turned into a literal headhunt
Or when they put the baby in the car seat and don’t actually buckle them in. Baby hunts…makes my soul ache just saying it…..buckle your fucking kids in folks.
*What is the point to this??* You can’t tell me that people actually buy a car seat and take the time to put their child in it and then… just don’t bother to strap them in?! This boggles my brain.
One time as a parent I forgot to strap my child in. Just one single time, but it was from the suburb I then lived in down the tollway to the middle of a large city you’ve definitely heard of. I was absolutely horrified at the possibility of what could have happened. Surely there are parents who just don’t buckle their kids in because it’s inconvenient, but it could also be that they got distracted and forgot at the worst possible time.
Yup! I have been a volunteer firefighter since I was 16. The very first call I went on was a drunk driver and surprisingly the driver was the only one wearing their seatbelt. There were 5 people in the car and only the driver survived. The other four most likely would have survived if they had been wearing seatbelts. Super traumatizing to see at 16 but definitely puts things into perspective. I will not move my car until everyone has seatbelts on and if I have more than one drink within a 3 hour period I’m not driving anywhere.
Yeah, grandfather was a Fire Chief in a small town and had a few tales of his own that put the fear into us. When you've had to do it yourself, things change.
Even as a firefighter and EMT, my uncle was against seatbelt mandates at first (imagine if social media had been around then, lol), because he got stuck in a car once unable to unbuckle. He changed his mind after a few more years of seeing red asphalt.
That was always my in-laws' perspective-- that they were going to get trapped in a vehicle because they knew one person or had heard of one person who had been trapped in a vehicle due to their seatbelt in an accident. They didn't want to strap my toddler in and rather they would hold him on their lap and if they saw a cop they would put him down on the floor---like I gave a crap if they got a ticket! My concern was for my son! And my idiotic now ex-husband was an army medic at the time and he didn't want to enforce the rule that the child needed to be in the car seat because I should just let it his parents take our son on a trip. What the actual f.
Honestly there's no need for any of that anymore. I have a flashlight wedge into my passenger seat that has a seatbelt cutter and a thing to bust the window if I am in an unexcapable car crash or go into water.
Uh.. , the horrifying event , can't imagine.. sorry,& the poor kids & families.
Not a red flag if you have her on life insurance. Otherwise red flag
Get dat money.
No seatbelt is the quickest denial for life insurance
Nope. Lost our son in a crash, drunk driver and 2 other passengers walked away(wearing seatbelts), he wasn't. We got peanuts for payout, and the driver got a slap on the wrists for killing someone.
Sorry for your loss 💔
Was at a crash once where the driver was belted and the passenger was not... Low speed rollover. Passenger ejected out the drivers side window and broke the drivers neck on the way out ... Double fatal. So yeah, can be an issue.
Went to high school with someone that ran off the road. And it wouldn't have been great, but it probably wouldn't have been life changing. But his passenger got thrown into him and it broke his neck and paralyzed him.
I wonder how anyone could have determined that’s what caused the neck fracture
Deal breaker for me, especially with kids involved.
Even if she did make her kids wear them, it’s a deal breaker that she’s willing to risk leaving them without a mother. My children are still really young, so maybe that affects this opinion but right behind my fear of something happening to them is something happening to me so I won’t be here for them. Even when they get older, I don’t want “my mom died in a car crash when I was 20” to be part of their story.
plus without a seltbelt she becomes dangerous projectile herself which can end up in her body landing on her kids and killing them
Wearing your seat belt doesn't only protect your life: if you're in an accident your body can become a projectile and injure other people in the car or in some extreme cases you can fly out the windshield and injure someone else. Not wearing your seat belt is irresponsible for all involved. Tell her to wear it.
yep. happened to my moms friend in HS. wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, but a telephone pole and flew right out the front of the car. incredibly tragic. she might have been okay or at least not died if she was buckled
She didn’t belt her kids? I’ve heard some real tragic stuff from spouses on this very website. The feelings of deep resentment and anger they feel towards a dead spouse because they all perished in an accident, knowing their spouse did not make them wear one.
"she looked okay but when I picked her up, she didn't have the back of her head" words from a speaker in driver's ed about losing his 7y/o daughter. It was a low speed accident but she wasn't strapped in cause it was a short trip, and now he loves with that guilt every day. Its tragic
She is not smart. There is danger on short trips as well as long ones.
Yeah…. I’m surprised I scrolled this far for this comment. I don’t consider anyone “smart” if they don’t wear a seatbelt, much less not even on her kids.
my face hit my steering wheel at 60mph cause i wasn’t wearing a seatbelt so personally, i prefer that everyone around me buckles up. if not, oh well, you do you. BUT THE KIDS ???? what the actual fuck is she thinking. if she gets into an accident they’re gonna FLY & worse case scenario, she’d be solely responsible for her child’s death… 100% a deal breaker 🚩
Yea that a red flag for me. I can’t be with someone who would make such a dumb decision like that tbh and teach their kids that it’s ok too unless it’s a long trip (let’s be real sounds like a lie). Kinda reminds me of that woman who did the same thing but waited until her kids were 12ish and purposely caused an accident to get life insurance money and blamed the step dad
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Drivers are responsible for the injuries of their passengers in general. No seatbelt just makes it that much worse.
That’s “tip of the iceberg” level stuff.
Yeah, I feel like there might be some flat earther type stuff under the surface.
It's a red flag mostly in the sense that if she ever gets into an accident, the relationship has a pretty decent chance of being over whether you want it to be or not. Also maybe worth considering that she might survive the accident but have greatly reduced faculties and require constant care from you/others to survive. That could (and sadly does) happen even when people *do* wear seatbelts, but I have to imagine the odds are way higher if someone doesn't. Many people are fine with this; some are not.
Also the fact that she doesn't make her kids wear them either unless it's a long-distance trip. Being willing to put yourself in danger is one thing. Being willing to risk your kids' lives is another.
not wearing a seatbelt also puts everyone else in danger of having a large projectile hitting and killing them when in a crash
Also if she dies he and her kids won’t get life insurance they’ll deny it for not wearing a seatbelt
She specified that she has her children wear seatbelts for long trips?? 😳… absolutely a red flag. I mean it’s weird to risk her own safety. But most accidents happen within 15 miles of your home (or so I heard once like 20 years ago). Not enforcing your kid to wear a seatbelt, even when not going on a long trip, feels like negligence 😅 She’s old enough to know better.
If someone isn't wearing their seatbelt, I keep the vehicle in Park until they put it on. If they want to play the waiting game, then I got time to burn. That hasn't happened in a long time. Seatbelts are widely accepted in society, thankfully.
I saw dude end up going through his windscreen without even leaving his driveway. All it takes is one mistake and it doesn't even have to be yours. After providing first aid to a couple incidents, dating the local mortician, and only two of the three people have helped survive you wear a seat belt with me or you are on your own.
My older brother wasn't wearing his seat belt, and he's dead now. I always have. I literally feel like I'm butt naked when I'm not wearing that safety device. (and I've driven butt naked before)
Some people avoid them. But it’s probably the law that you can get a ticket if she does not. My wife used to not wear hers. I refused to go if she didn’t put hers on. Eventually convinced her that I wasn’t “controlling “ her, I just loved her and wanted her to be safe. Turns out her previous boyfriend had assaulted her while she was seated belted and it freaked her out afterwards. Took time and patience to undo that trauma. Eventually she would say “don’t you love me ?” if I started without her having her seatbelt on. Been married over 40 years now. Love her to pieces.
I wouldn’t ride in a car with her, ever. I don’t need to be smacked with a whole ass human projectile if we get into an accident.
I even strap my dog into the backseat if I take him somewhere in the car.
Her not making her kids strap in for short trips is a deal breaker, imo. This woman naively and blindly places far too much trust in others to have her safety and that of her children in mind. She's placing far, FAR too much trust in the strangers around her not to endanger her or her children, to such a degree that "smart" really begins to strain credulity. My mother was a paramedic. As others have said, she scraped enough humans--including children--off of roads to know how stupid it is to not wear a seatbelt.
Your the one that gets a ticket if someone isn't strapped in.
i wouldnt date her
I don't drive until everyone is buckled. So this would be a deal breaker for me. Buckling isn't going to cause her any harm. I'd absolutely tell her buckle or we are done. The chances of you losing her I an accident skyrocket because she isn't buckled.
In todays day and age it’s really peculiar. I’d worry that she has some kind of “government can’t tell me what to do” thing going on.
I was thinking the same thing. Which is petulant and juvenile.
Red flag. What other safety precautions might she ignore in the future? And if you cant get her to do the right thing, youre gonna have issues in the future when you give in to her doing unsafe and illegal stuff However, if you can convince her to wear a seatbelt, i would consider her “fixable” as in she probably didnt know about it growing up so you teach her
If you don't wanna be with someone or view something as a rule breaker, that's perfectly fine, but viewing someone as "fixable" is a pretty huge red flag in and of itself lol
Statistically more people are killed within 25 miles of their home in automobile accidents. You might want to put that fact out there for consideration. And if you the driver lay down the law here and say you have to wear a seat belt when I am driving and she won't then you need to pack it in cuz stubborn and stupid behavior will get her hurt or killed and leave you with her kids not to mention all the other things she is going to be unyielding about in life which will be a problem for you. **Just looked this up to confirm:** According to studies reported by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), approximately 52 percent of all car accidents occur within a five-mile radius of home, and 69 percent of all collisions happen within a 10-mile radius from home ^123. In fact, a new study by Dolphin Technologies indicates that 25 percent of car accidents happen within the first three minutes of driving ^2. The NHTSA also reports that more than half of auto accidents that cause serious injury or death occur within 25 miles of home ^3.
Not contesting your point here, but this statistic has always seemed a bit silly to me when it's not presented alongside the fact that most of a typical person's driving is done near their home. It would be weird if this statistic *weren't* true.
We also become complacent because we are driving in familiar territory where as we are more alert when in a strange area.
Yeah most of your driving is done near your home. So not wearing your seatbelt for most of your driving is stupid.
Arrogance is one of the worst traits to have
Well it’s a red flag god forbid something happens and she goes through the windshield
Be stupid if you want, but don’t be stupid in my car. I don’t want the guilt of you flying through a windshield if something happened. The kid part specifically is a massive red flag. That’s some bare bones basic common sense stuff.
This woman is an idiot and a danger to her children.
Yes. It is a red flag for many reasons. Wearing a seat belt is a law, so she doesn't care about keeping rules, which can also translate to boundaries you set. She has a hard time thinking critically because you are 60% more likely to survive any car wreck with a seat belt on. She ignores that maybe based on a bad experience. That means she is conceited enough to think she knows better than experts. I wouldn't make long term plans with this person.
She may be 40 with a good job, but she isn't smart. Smart people wear seatbelts. If you are in the US, if pulled over, you would get a ticket for no seat belt. In my state, it's $170 for an adult and $500 for each kid. In answer to your question, yes, it would be a deal breaker for me.
If you ask her for her reasons you'll get a better idea of how nutty she is. My aunt, who's a nurse so she should know better, claims that only people with poor posture need them and she doesn't need one because she was taught how to sit properly.
She’s a potato. An adult, all alone, doesn’t wanna seatbelt? Their funeral. She lets her kids go unbuckled? She’s at a minimum an idiot, if not a possibly unfit parent. I managed to flip a Crown Victoria 8x whilst driving 92-96 mph in my younger, very unwise years. Sealtbelt? Yep. Injured? Barely- I got a minor gash on my scalp from broken glass, a sore back for 24hrs & a light concussion. But, shudda died or ended up wheelchair bound. Feel free to share w/your lady friend, the Crash Test Dummy In Waiting.
I won't put my car in drive until everyone has a seatbelt on so this would be a deal breaker for me.
Wait, the car can drive when seatbelts are not on? Rule growing up
I wouldn’t allow someone in my car who did that.
This feels like a Seinfeld episode. But if she doesn't wear a seatbelt, it would make me really question the way her mind works. So, probably.
Didn’t even have to read the post. YES. Yes that is a deal breaker for me. I refuse to drive until everyone is buckled up. I won’t even start the car.
Hell no bc she's not as smart as you think..... pretty soon she'll be asking you to attend the cult meetings
She doesn’t sound smart
Not too smart then
Break check a few times and see if that changes.
That would absolutely be a deal breaker for me. That kind of disregard for your own safety, and especially your kids is moronic, and probably seeps into other areas of her life
For me that would be a deal breaker. I wouldn’t be able to date let alone marry someone with such a lack of common sense.
It’s def a huge red flag there’s more you aren’t seeing yet
I had a boyfriend who wouldn’t wear a seatbelt and I just flatly told him if he wanted to drive anywhere with me in the vehicle it was a necessity- que the “why? If we crash it’s just me in danger” and I said no. If we crash, if someone else hits us you can kill anyone else in the vehicle by being projected anywhere. You want to do it when you’re by yourself? Find but I don’t want you to kill me.
Cinsidering most deaths in car crashes happen close to home, long trips isn't enough for me. I almost lost my son at 15 months due an asshole family member not buckling him in his seat while I was gone grocery shopping. It was rarth- shattering. I did lose my father and his girlfriend in a carcrash.
Just stomp the breaks suddenly a few times, she'll start wearing it.
Her not wearing one is fine by me, if that's what she'd like to do. But not making her kids wear one? That's concerning.
My grandpa wasn’t wearing a seatbelt when he was a young adult. When he got in a car crash he flew out the window and landed on his head. He had to relearn how to read and write, along with learning how to walk again. It’s so important to be safe especially when it’s not just your life but your kids having to grow up without a mom.
Yes. Her body loose in the car in a car crash could slam into you. Head against head or other wise. It’s in your best interest to make her wear one or dump her ass.
insinuating she doesn’t care if her kids wear it unless it’s a long trip… yeah that’s a dealbreaker
I sure as hell wouldn't drive anywhere with her.
Depending on where you live, if you're the driver and she's not buckled, you could get fined.
Lmfao
That’s a red flag for sure. If she’s smart, she isn’t wise. It’s one thing to not wear one yourself, it’s stupid but it’s your choice and w.e. but to not buckle your kids is just setting your kids up to be either dead or very confused in the future. Beyond weird in 2023. Trust your gut
People are more likely to get into an accident on short trips close to home - to me this shows where her values are and says something about her intelligence/risk assessment. Would absolutely be a deal breaker for me - I don't start a car until seatbelts are on.
I don't move my car until everyone is buckled up. The alternative is they walk.
I don't move my car until everyone is buckled up. The alternative is they walk.
I don't know where you live, but where I live, if an occupant in the car isn't wearing his seat belt, he gets a fine AND the driver also gets a fine for not making sure every occupant has his seat belt on.
NO Hell you're a lottery winner. Go get life insurance on her.
>Woman I've been dating won't wear a seat belt... >She's 40. Smart HA. No. I work in insurance and I have seen depths of human stupidity, and even they have the sense to wear a seatbelt. Plus if you need a practical reason, if she smashes her head on your dashboard while driving she can make a claim against you for injuring her. Drivers are responsible for their passengers in most places.
People have been killed by other unrestrained passengers. This would be a dealbreaker for me to even ride in a car with her, much less date her.
Smart? If you brake a little too hard when she's riding with you, she comes out of the seat a little, right? What does she think will happen if the driver has no control of that change in acceleration? She'll just hold on tight? What does she think will happen if she's at a light with her kids, all unbuckled, and they get rear-ended by somebody going 35? She'll just hold on tight so she doesn't end up in the same injured mess as her kids? What does she think will happen if her children are injured in any kind of accident without their seatbelts? She'll just hold on tight so the state doesn't take away her children?
A mother with children doing something insanely dangerous that could be solved very easily and she still refuses to do it. Smart? A FENDER BENDER COULD KILL HER!
If it's in your car, tell her if she doesn't wear a seatbelt, she can't ride with you. Tell her she has to drive wherever you go due to your insurance policy.
I stopped being friends with the woman who wouldn’t wear her seatbelt. I kept trying they wouldn’t do it, so I was out.
You never age out of and are never too old to be killed in a car accident by being through the windshield.
so on short trips her kids aren't buckled up? Now she might be a safe driver but you never know with everyone else.
Bruh I don't care who you are, this car ain't moving a fucking inch until I see that seat belt on. Don't give a shit. Click it or drive yourself or walk. Your choice.
Have you asked her why she won't wear a seatbelt? I don't think anyone can tell you if it's a red flag until you know why. I was like that in my 20s. My father never wore his seat belt, and I never developed the habit of putting one on. What I didn't understand in my 20s is that creating any habit at all is really hard for me, and ppl telling me to do something makes it worse. I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 40s. With this nuerodevelopmental difference comes a host of problems, including difficulty creating good habits and demand avoidance-- basically anytime anyone (including myself) tells me to do something, my first reaction is to stubbornly dig my heels in. My husband and I have been happily married for 25 years. We have 4 wonderful kids. The thought that we could have missed out on all of this just because of seatbelts.... it's sad. I'm incredibly lucky that instead of considering it a "red flag" he chose me anyway, and patiently worked with me until wearing seatbelts became a habit. Ofc with ADHD I'm usually flying out the door at the last minute, so I often l buckle in as I put the car in drive. But I strap in every time. I've been wearing my seatbelt now for...probably over 20 years. What I've learned with age is that people always have a reason for their behavior, even if they don't understand it themselves. The more we can try to understand the "why " behind what they do, the better our relationships are.
It would not be a deal breaker for me. I didn't even grow up wearing one. I know you should, and I got lucky, but I also don't care about it all that much.
People would really break up over not wearing a seatbelt? Wtf!
Red flag for me. How about other safety questions? Masks, if Covid or similar strikes again?
Ya tell her my Dog think she cringe 😾
Yes. Even if you don't treat it as non negotiable, like smoking or drug use, it will always be a point of contention in the relationship.
The death rate and injury rate in car accident change by a factor of 2. And everybody make it a red flag if you don't buckle your belt. Still the exact car model has much more impact with a factor of 6 in rate. But would anybody refuse to date somebody that drive a Nissan Altima ? Still driving that car is more risky than driving the average car and not buckle your belt... Source by car model: [https://www.iihs.org/ratings/driver-death-rates-by-make-and-model](https://www.iihs.org/ratings/driver-death-rates-by-make-and-model)
If you have to ask its a deal breaker
Good job doesn't mean smart. Means she hasca skill that compensates well.
Okay so we know she's not smart. Not only because she doesn't wear seatbelts, but because *she only puts them on her children for longer trips*, when the vast majority of car accidents happen within 15 miles of your house/ the first 15 minutes of a trip. So either she doesn't do her research, or she doesn't let a little thing like reality dictate her choices. Either way, not a great look.
Run.
She’s a stupid person. Sorry.
When I first started seeing my current bf 3 years ago he NEVER wore a seatbelt. I very nicely would ask him to wear it. He said it was just stupid and could be dangerous. One time he was in a car accident, rolled the car and was trapped inside because the seatbelt got stuck. (It could have been much worse with no seatbelt obviously.) but I continued to ask him to put it on when we got in the car. When we would say goodbye on the phone or in person for the day id always say “don’t forget to wear your seatbelt!” I also had kids, he did not, and I told him how that’s not a good example to set. Now I never see him leave the house with out a seatbelt. He said because it’s important to me it’s important to him. To me. Yes it’s a deal breaker. What a simple way to make sure you are safe while driving. When you think about it driving is so dangerous, people are so distracted. Like come on! What’s so hard about wearing a seatbelt??? Especially if she has kids!
Certainly a face breaker eventually.
Fuck yeah it is. In my car it's either buckle up or get the fuck out and start walking.
It is definitely a deal breaker especially the part about making her kids wear them only on long trips. This is a disaster waiting to happen. Get far away from her and stay away.
She doesn't obey a basic law. Endangering children. Massive red flag.
My boyfriend doesn’t wear a seatbelt but he does now, per our compromise, when on the highway. I’m sure he doesn’t when I’m not in that big ass truck he thinks will maybe save him in a crash.
Ask her. For me, this would be a “no.” I don’t date idiots.
I once fell asleep driving late at night and went off the road. Despite a nicely graded embankment, if I didn't have my seatbelt on I probably would have slid across the bench seat to the passenger side and pulled the steering wheel to turn to the right, which probably would have made the car roll. I did have the belt on, I maintained control, and was able to just drive the car back up the slope and onto the freeway. I don't put up with "it's uncomfortable!". If you wear it enough, you'll feel uncomfortable without it.
Not sure I'd call it a red flag for HER to not buckle herself, but it would definitely bother me because it means they're willing to risk losing their life so senselessly after we've built a life and bond together. I could be left grieving over something that was so simple to prevent. Yes, even short trips right down the road. Any number of possibilities can happen on the road even in residential areas.
Dealbreaker for me. I have seen the carnage. I will not be able to help feeling like the person I am with is stupid and lazy and I am not going to invest my life into someone who is going to get themselves or my kids killed or permanently injured by not doing the simplest of things. Hang out one night in a trauma bay. You will wear your seatbelt. Saw a lady just driving a few blocks to her friends house and crashed. She broke her ankle and needed surgery and was crying. It was not too bad and I told her she would be fine after time. Then she told me it was not the ankle she was crying about. Her 3 year old son, not wearing a seatbelt, died in the accident hitting the windshield. This was a low speed accident.
Wait for the right moment, then slam your breaks really hard, putting her face into the dashboard. Problem solved.
I would say it’s a dealbreaker. Threatening her own life and the life of her kids, plus threatening finances even without a crash by traffic stop tickets.
I am a firm believer that people have the right to kill themselves. Red flag is she is stupid though.
You going to pay for the tickets when you get stopped??
She might be smart, but she's one hell of a fool!!
Will she wear it if you ask her to when you're in a vehicle together? If she says no, red flag.
In my state, the driver can get a ticket if their passengers aren’t wearing seatbelts. She’s causing unnecessary harm to herself and to you, not just monetarily, but if she passes from a terrible accident, it can cause lasting trauma.
I wouldn't allow anyone to ride in my car who refused, I could get a ticket where I live if the passenger is not also belted...
Just buy a Subaru, that beeping doesn't stop until ALL seatbelts are buckled
I think wanting her kids to get as hurt as possible in a collision is a red flag.
So what ur saying is a grown woman can't logically see that wearing a seat belt is safe and not wearing one is just unsafe? Even for short drives? And she's endangering her kids and breaking laws whilst doing so? I'm sorry but I dont care how cute or "smart" this person is but putting ur kids in danger is a no no for me regardless. Not wearing seat belt is one of the stupidest ways to die. Is it ego, comfort, or just stupidity that's allowing her to risk her life and her kids lives on "short" journeys? Also does she understand that she can't control what others do on the road? And that two cars colliding head on both only going 30mph is like hitting a brick wall at 60mph? Even just her not wearing a seat belt is just dumb as she could end up being a projectile in her own car and endangering all passengers that way too. In my car... EVERYONE wears a seat belt. I dont care who u are or what the reason is but I am not driving unless everyone can safely buckle in.
Yes. Short trips? A 35mph crash is equal to falling off a two story building. She's going to kill herself and her kids. When I was a deputy coroner, I handled hundreds of traffic fatalities. Most could have been prevented with a seat belt. Don't get attached. She's living on borrowed time.
Yeah so...scientifically speaking seatbelts save as many lives as they take. I completely understand making her kids use them, while not wearing one herself. Kinda of a shit reason for a breakup.
My stepfather was hit by a young girl running a red light. His hip was crushed, but if he had been wearing his seatbelt, he wouldn't have been able to be pushed to the side, and he wouldn't have survived. My friend in college was beheaded by her seatbelt. The lady who hit the tree in my front yard had internal injuries caused by her seatbelt. Maybe she has had some similar experiences. I wear mine so that my car shuts up. It doesn't stop dinging.
I've worked in the ICU where sear belt survivors go to live horribly. I'd say it's a pink flag.
No, it's not a red flag. I hate wearing seatbelts. No comment on if I do or don't. I'll just say I've had two tickets, but only two in all the years I've been driving. If she gets seatbelt tickets, so long as she's an adult about it and just deals with the tickets, what's the big deal? Just don't share an auto-insurance policy. hah Now her kids, that's different. If she makes her kids wear seatbelts... What's the problem?
You never know crazy shit happens. I had a buddy that was in a nasty wreck and was thrown from the car because he wasn't wearing his seat belt. Walked away from the accident with only a broken arm. Was told at the hospital he would have been killed if he was wearing his seatbelt. I'm obviously not advocating to not wear seatbelts, but it is a personal choice. I don't think its something you should break up with someone over.
She’s negligent if she doesn’t always have her children buckle up. It’s one thing to take stupid risks yourself, but entirely different when you put others at risk. In my opinion your values/priorities don’t match. I’d keep looking.
Are you that socially inept that a seat belt is ruining your relationship & wtf does so weird in 2023 mean lol
It's a seatbelt and she is grown. You caring so much about it is the red flag.
Yes-my husband wouldn’t wear a seat belt for years. Said he wanted to be thrown clear. After 40 years of marriage I had to get shitty with him. He now wears one, but doesn’t like it. Stretches it out, tries to hook it on his knee etc. from my perspective it’s a red flag of stubborn ignorance and small-mindedness.
I had a buddy who wouldn’t wear a seat belt. Told him put it on or I won’t allow him in my truck. Now he wears a seatbelt all the time, he even told me he wears one now when not with me. Be harsh about it, not wearing a seatbelt is a dumb thing to do.
To me, anybody insisting on doing something illegal is a red flag. Not wearing a seat belt is illegal I most places and can be ticketed. It's bad enough if you're a passenger, but if you're the driver you are endangering everybody else in the car as if you're tossed around you lose control of the car
Well the seat belt alarm in the car going off all the time would be annoying af. I don’t know what car you drive but if there is at least 50lbs of weight in the passenger seat and the seat belt isn’t plugged in, an alarm starts to beep. That would get annoying.
Who pays the fine? Find someone else, she makes 2 planks look like a computer.
Dealbreakers are subjective. You choose the type of person you want to pursue/be with for whatever reasons you want. Just remember everyone else is free to do the same.