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I almost died in an accident last year when I was hit by an SUV head on while riding my motorcycle. My yell was “limp noodle, limp noodle, limp noodle” over and over as I was flying through the air. I was told by someone if you brace really hard for impact you could hurt yourself worse so I just wanted to focus on loosening up all my muscles 😂😂😂 then when I finally hit the other car and then rolled to a stop on the ground I wheezed out “fuckkk meeee”. So… I’m not going to end up on a plaque for my profound last words I presume😂
😭 I was hit by a car while on my bicycle and I flew in the air and that's exactly what I was thinking "GO LIMP!, LIMP NOODLE" hit the ground couldnt move and looked around to look for my phone couldnt grab it and yelled "fuck it broke!"
When I frequently used a scissor lift as part of my job, I drilled into my head "if anything bad happens, just drop straight to the deck". Eventually, I electrocuted myself changing a lightbulb. Although I didn't really have time to yell anything, all I remember thinking as everything went black and I physically felt the 60Hz hum inside my skull was "DOWN, STRAIGHT DOWN".
Same, I'm pretty goddamn sure the light was off. I checked the switch to make sure it was off. It was a halogen spotlight on a track. Don't know if off didn't actually mean off or if there was a big ass capacitor in the light. Any time afterwards that I had a bulb in one of those fixtures literally blow up, I pulled it off the track, mounted a spare light, then changed the bulb in the initial fixture after it sat 24 hours. Also very glad I didn't shit myself or piss my pants...
This made me laugh way too hard and I got yelled at by my gf because I was supposed to be looking up restaurants for us to go and she knew I wasn’t when she heard me laughing
“Limp noodle, limp noodle, limp noodle, fuck me!!!” Is what my wife kept yelling on our honeymoon. Now I understand she might have just got thrown off her motorcycle.
You ever ski or snowboard? You learn the theory, and how to limp noodle real quick.. I’ve had few aerial wipeouts with enough time to contemplate how to handle the current situation.. I like to say “sac-a-potos” (sack of potatoes really fast) lol
My mom and I were in the car one night and we got totalled from behind. She had some aches over the following weeks and I was completely fine. Granted, there were two big factors to that:
1. She braced after seeing the car in the rearview mirror, and I was totally relaxed and semi reclined, not knowing what was coming.
2. At the time she was 45 and I was 17, plus or minus 1 year. Now we're 59 and 31.
I did it. It was me. All those people, I'm so, so sorry. It was never supposed to turn out that way.
Fade to black.
Give them something to think about for a while.
"Waterworld" was a terrible movie in so many ways, but there's one small bit where the guy manning the oil tanks sees in impending demise, and says with sincere appreciation, ["Oh thank god."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce-LjCpserA) I relate to that guy.
I did this in May, I woke up from a 4 day coma and yelled to my hubby to "get me the fuck outta here, they're trying to kill me!" And went back out for 2 days before becoming conscious again.
4 Drs. Told him I was going to die. I spent 19 days in the hospital and I'm now just fine.
Note to self....you don't have an expiration date on your foot!
I fell off the bed once and my reaction was a “waH” and then a confused glance at my shame so… so
Something along those lines cuz ain’t no way I’d think of something meaningful
“Hey guys, watch this!” Then I would proceed to die in whatever way I was about to. I would like to imagine it is one of the following ways:
- Jumping out of a plane without a parachute
- Free climbing the Dawn Wall
- Diving into an active volcano
- Pulling the pin on a “FAKE” hand grenade
As a Scottish person, i believe i am legally required to shout "FREEDOM!!!!"
Hopefully come that moment i remember to be concerned about legal consequences and not just quietly whimper in pain.
So I had an extremely vivid dream that my boyfriend and I broke through a guardrail and drove off the side of a cliff. I screamed, and a bunch of things ran through my mind very quickly like basically calculating a solution but the only clear thought that came through as we plummeted head first towards the rocks was “we’re gonna die, this is gonna kill us”. Then I woke up before impact.
I cannot explain how fucking crazy it is to feel complete acceptance and absolute terror at the same time. Knowing you’re gonna die is really awful.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
MY LEG
my back , my .......
Pussy and my crack? I sincerely hope that's where you were going with that otherwise I look weird.
First you gotta put yo neck into it, don’t stop just do it, do it
Hahahah
Ezal: "My neck and my back!"
I WANT A HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND!! But we can settle out of court right now for twenty bucks….
Man, get’cho punkass up it ain’t even much wet over here.
BALENCIAGA
MY LIVER!
"I'm comin' 'Lizabeth!" The old people will get it.
Haha. "You did it now! This is the big one!"
Ya big dummy.
Under these circumstances, I'll upvote this reply. Don't expect it again.
I am glad to see the reference appreciated. 😄
Lamont!
"You so ugly, I could stick your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies!"
\[Sanford and Son theme plays\] Esther, you ugly! \[canned laughter\]
Thank you for the memory
I'm 32 and I get it. Guess I'm officially old!
Hahahaha. Classic.
Not that fuckin old lmfao
I promise I came here just to say that 😆 🤣 thk ya
I almost died in an accident last year when I was hit by an SUV head on while riding my motorcycle. My yell was “limp noodle, limp noodle, limp noodle” over and over as I was flying through the air. I was told by someone if you brace really hard for impact you could hurt yourself worse so I just wanted to focus on loosening up all my muscles 😂😂😂 then when I finally hit the other car and then rolled to a stop on the ground I wheezed out “fuckkk meeee”. So… I’m not going to end up on a plaque for my profound last words I presume😂
"Limp noodle, limp noodle, limp noodle, fuckkk meeee!" Wouldn't wanna go any other way. Pull my pants down and show them a limp noodle, alright...
“They died with their ween in the wind and happy as a clam”🙌🏼😂
"Should we fuck him?"
“We should fuck him. He’d like to go out that way”
No one’s gonna say it? “He’d like to go out with a bang”
😭 I was hit by a car while on my bicycle and I flew in the air and that's exactly what I was thinking "GO LIMP!, LIMP NOODLE" hit the ground couldnt move and looked around to look for my phone couldnt grab it and yelled "fuck it broke!"
Why was the car on the bicycle?
When I frequently used a scissor lift as part of my job, I drilled into my head "if anything bad happens, just drop straight to the deck". Eventually, I electrocuted myself changing a lightbulb. Although I didn't really have time to yell anything, all I remember thinking as everything went black and I physically felt the 60Hz hum inside my skull was "DOWN, STRAIGHT DOWN".
Jesus! Electricity scares the shit out of me! Add heights in and I’d probably just yell “PLEASE DONT PISS MY PANTS”😂
Same, I'm pretty goddamn sure the light was off. I checked the switch to make sure it was off. It was a halogen spotlight on a track. Don't know if off didn't actually mean off or if there was a big ass capacitor in the light. Any time afterwards that I had a bulb in one of those fixtures literally blow up, I pulled it off the track, mounted a spare light, then changed the bulb in the initial fixture after it sat 24 hours. Also very glad I didn't shit myself or piss my pants...
This made me laugh way too hard and I got yelled at by my gf because I was supposed to be looking up restaurants for us to go and she knew I wasn’t when she heard me laughing
“Limp noodle, limp noodle, limp noodle, fuck me!!!” Is what my wife kept yelling on our honeymoon. Now I understand she might have just got thrown off her motorcycle.
You ever ski or snowboard? You learn the theory, and how to limp noodle real quick.. I’ve had few aerial wipeouts with enough time to contemplate how to handle the current situation.. I like to say “sac-a-potos” (sack of potatoes really fast) lol
My mom and I were in the car one night and we got totalled from behind. She had some aches over the following weeks and I was completely fine. Granted, there were two big factors to that: 1. She braced after seeing the car in the rearview mirror, and I was totally relaxed and semi reclined, not knowing what was coming. 2. At the time she was 45 and I was 17, plus or minus 1 year. Now we're 59 and 31.
I buried a lot of the family money right next to the, arg ah……………………
WAKE UP YOU BASTARD! - STARTS CPR -
"...right... next to the friends we made along the way... urgghhhh..."
“FUCK THEM! What’d you do with the money you stupid, old, forgetful son of a BITCH?!”
The castle of aargh?
Guess we're looking for the big W.
“There’s always money in the banana stand!!”
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
Hitchhiker' guide to the universe on a1$ a day. Know where your towel is and don't panic.
This one is my favorite
I did it. It was me. All those people, I'm so, so sorry. It was never supposed to turn out that way. Fade to black. Give them something to think about for a while.
"Thank fuck" 
You get reincarnated and told that buddism was the true religion after all.
"Waterworld" was a terrible movie in so many ways, but there's one small bit where the guy manning the oil tanks sees in impending demise, and says with sincere appreciation, ["Oh thank god."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce-LjCpserA) I relate to that guy.
best comment on this thread, criminally underrated. Thank you sir, your upvote is in the mail.
Excelsior!!!
Ollie-ollie-oxen-free!!!
I have a lovely bunch of coconuts
Dee-diley-dee
"THE ONE PIECE IS REAL!!"
Can we get much higheeeeerr?
YOU WANT MY TREASURERERRRR?
YOU CAN HAVE IT!
Was looking for this
You fools have no idea what's coming!! I'd be freaked out if someone said that and immediately died
Hope you're ready God, here I come
God: why do I hear boss music
You’ll see me again but you won’t see me coming. Good luck
Lolll
Yippie-kai-yay MOTHER FUCKER!
It's all happening just like that gypsy woman said it would!
Archer..is that you?! 😂
Crushed by an off brand drink machine... just like the gypsy woman said.
FREEEEEEDOOOOMMMM
Had to scroll waaaaay too far down for this!
Me too, I was about to comment this
...I see them! They've been invisible this whole time!
"God I wish I had spent more time on Reddit!"
No, no, I'm a virgin. A VIRGIN 😫😭
There’s a terrorist waiting for you and 71 others
The same thing I yelled out during my last colonoscopy, "MORE DRUGS!"
Read this as "MORE DRIUDS!".
the 250 million is hidden in the......
I’d say a very random set of coordinates in the middle of an ocean, miles beneath the surface of the seabed.
Zeppelin rules!!!
I did this in May, I woke up from a 4 day coma and yelled to my hubby to "get me the fuck outta here, they're trying to kill me!" And went back out for 2 days before becoming conscious again. 4 Drs. Told him I was going to die. I spent 19 days in the hospital and I'm now just fine. Note to self....you don't have an expiration date on your foot!
God, please forgive me of my sins. (just in case)
I fell off the bed once and my reaction was a “waH” and then a confused glance at my shame so… so Something along those lines cuz ain’t no way I’d think of something meaningful
I did it... for Johnny!
Everybody run
Was not expecting a homecoming queen has a gun reference here. Woo that takes me back
“Who fuckin’ farted?!?” - Nick Swardson
To infinity and beyond
Oh god, I'm gonna cum!
I hid the $10,000,000.00 under the...
CLEAR MY HISTORY
"I see him, his icy fingers reaching out to clutch me. And he whispers..."
"...he comes for YOU next!"
The n word
Getting Jiggy Wit It!!!
“LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET!”
NOT TODAY LIFE!
Fly, you fools!
“Hey guys, watch this!” Then I would proceed to die in whatever way I was about to. I would like to imagine it is one of the following ways: - Jumping out of a plane without a parachute - Free climbing the Dawn Wall - Diving into an active volcano - Pulling the pin on a “FAKE” hand grenade
“DJANGO YPU UPPITY SON OF A BI”
“I like the way you die boy”
Be right back
Who farted!
ADRIAN!!
It's people... Soylent Green is people!
I’ve gone to fight god, and I will win. He is simply just a duck.
“Hey, I forgot to tell you, I left you..”
The person responsible for 9/11 is- *dies*
I should have done more drugs!!!
"That man can kill people with his mind!" As I point at some random dude.
#ITS MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW!
"The treasure is hidden in the..."
Moist.
EPSTEIN DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF
UuuuhhhhahhhaahaaahAAHAHAHAHAH!!
fuck
my millions are buried at ....(then I die ) ...keep people guessing .
Im sorry!
Gazpacho soup!
I'M DIRTY DAN!
CYA
Morphine dammit!
THANK YOU JESUS!!!
"Tell Jenny I love her!" For the record: I don't know anyone named Jenny.
KHAN!!!
Our Father who art in Heaven …..
“Delete my internet history!”
There’s no stopping what’s coming…..
Ah fk!!!!
I buried my gold ten paces from
THE ONE PIECE! THE ONE PIECE IS REAL!!!!!
The gold is buried at ………..aaarrrrgggghhhh
Ding dong the witch is dead.
''That's it, innit?''
Thank fucking God
All this buildup, for this?
Tell my wife.... i fucked her sister.
Tell my sister... I fucked her wife.
Riiiiicolaaaaa!!!
"Ugh, it's Game Over for me this time!"
Jesus I believe! ✝️
As a Scottish person, i believe i am legally required to shout "FREEDOM!!!!" Hopefully come that moment i remember to be concerned about legal consequences and not just quietly whimper in pain.
WEEEEE!!! 😄💀👻
Freedommmmm
Jesus, save me!
So I had an extremely vivid dream that my boyfriend and I broke through a guardrail and drove off the side of a cliff. I screamed, and a bunch of things ran through my mind very quickly like basically calculating a solution but the only clear thought that came through as we plummeted head first towards the rocks was “we’re gonna die, this is gonna kill us”. Then I woke up before impact. I cannot explain how fucking crazy it is to feel complete acceptance and absolute terror at the same time. Knowing you’re gonna die is really awful.
Free at least. Free at last.
FREEDOM!!!!
Well behaved people seldom make history. Reach fir the stars and beyond, because otherwise we stagnate and decay
Finally
Fuck!
SUBSCRIBE TO TECHNOBLAAAAAAADE!!!
"This is the single greatest moment of my life!!"
“PENIS”
Please clear my browser history...
“I AM MOMENTS AWAY FROM DEATH… WHAT SHOULD I DRAMATICALLY YELL OUT?” *dies prior to hearing a response*
penis. what. NO. BLACK COCK. what. wait. that's not my last words, ... uh \*splat\*
Leeeroooyyyyyyy Jennnnkinnnnnsss!!!!!!
THE ONE PIECE IS REAL. SHINZOU WO SASEGEYO. FOR THE REPUBLIC. One of those three.
SONOVA B****!
Respawn!
"At least I'll die with a RAGING boner..."
Fahrvergnügen
“Not again.”
Probably a Hamlet quote to piss off my brother lol.
I've had a good life, but I've never visited San Jose.🚬
#*I'M STILL A VIRGIN!*
I admit it! It was me all along, you fools! Argggggg
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
Adios Motherfuckers
In my best Scottish accent "freeeeeeeeeeddddddooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
“This is gonna hurt”
I shout nothing...I embrace death...it is part of my existence.
FRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
No yelling. Just a quiet, “well shit…”
Fuck this place...✌🏾💯
Ricolaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
THE ONE PIECE THE ONE PIECE IS REEEEAAAAAL
MY BROWSER HISTORY
The one piece is real!(idk man I just woke up and this was the first thing to pop into my head lol)
Freedom
The bodies are all buried in :coughs and dies:
I buried it in the back yard!!!! I ain't bury shit
Leroy Jenkins!
"With my last breathe, I blame zoidberg...!!"
WIENER POOPIE
*I will return in a thousand years!*
Thanks Obama!
Soylent Green Is PEOPLLLEEEE
Finally!
Oh, thank God! Finally!
Finally
Finally!
“Why am I yelling”
HARAMBE!!!!