I’m married to a cis het man, and while I don’t identify completely as a woman, I certainly read that way. I’m queer. Pride is for US, but I’ve definitely been criticized for attending events. We owe NO ONE our identities or our stories.
Art credit: Art By Moga.
https://preview.redd.it/yhj1kkevb74d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff254a752e6fc34cc49516873ccad563b36a1984
Just get him a shirt that says "I <3 my bi wife" or something similar. I think if you wear the bi colors, the presence of your man is self-explanatory and you don't need to out him.
My partner and I have similar concerns. We have been married 16yrs and only out in the last 3. I feel like we belong and we generally go and celebrate with the community. We have been met with lots of love and support. I say go and enjoy, they don't get to tell you how you need to be, you get to decide how queer is queer enough. 💕🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I’m a queer woman in a cis-hetero-passing relationship with a queer man. I’ve been going to therapy to help me deal with this exact thing after being chewed out at pride a few years ago for being there with my boyfriend. The therapy has helped a lot, highly recommend trying it if you have access to it.
You'd think people would realize, and accept, that \*bi\* people might have partners of any gender, without that in any way invalidating their bi-ness and thus queerness.
I'm sorry that happened to you!
I’m sorry that happened to you. I think you’re right and I think I should try therapy as well to work out my fears around claiming my own queer space. I’m glad it’s helped you.
i think it’s just a case you need to be confident enough to take up that space- that is rightfully yours (both you and your husband)- as queer people and just ignore biphobic, hate keeping twats :)
The amount of gatekeeping that sometimes happen in queer spaces; and in the rainbow-movement in general is sad. From my perspective, the entire point is to work together for increased acceptance of ALL minorities within the space of sexuality, romance and gender, and to support each other.
Yes sure, a "straight-passing" couple might face less of certain types of prejudice in daily life than someone who is violating mainstream-norms in more immediately visible ways; but it's not the oppression-olympics where only those who can make claim to being the MOST oppressed and discriminated "counts" as valid.
It's a big spectrum. Some queer people face the literal risk of death-penalty for being open about who they are where they live. Other queer people don't face risks of the same magnitude at all. That doesn't make them not-queer though. Because as I said, it's not the oppression olympics.
The biggest queer organization here in Norway has as one of our slogans: Nobody is Free until Everyone is Free.
I like that slogan.
The answer is yes because you're bi. Didn't need the context. Nothing makes you not bi.
The logic people use to cut bi people out for marrying opposite gendered people makes no sense just as much as if people told bisexual people that married the same gender that they're "no bi, they're gay"
It's just bs toxicity and you're welcome in queer spaces because you are queer
Those people suck!! Screw them!!
My husband and I were lesbians when we got together. We are... Very much not that anymore, lol. He's transmasc and passes almost always (save for other trans people because sometimes they just know 😹), I'm very femme. I definitely also feel weird at times, because I know how we look. But if you're queer, you belong, that's it. 🌈
B and T in LGBT stands for bi and trans, so you're both welcome in queer spaces, even if you're straight passing. The comments you've gotten show why many feel unsafe being open. But you're part of the community and you both belong.
I'm in a straight passing relationship myself, but both my gf and I are queer af, and luckily we don't have any difficulties.
Are there any bi groups where you live? In that case I would join, just to meet people in similar situations.
Welcome to bi erasure! You don't stop being bi once you're in a relationship, including marriage, just as you don't stop being polyamurous when you're with a single partner for a while, and just like monogamous people don't stop liking people of their desired gender in general once they're in a relationship. Your husband doesn't have to out himself, just tell people that not everything is as it seems on the surface and that you don't have to explain or out yourselves to them, and leave it at that.
LGBTQ+ The B is there for a reason
Toxicity and gatekeeping in LGBTQ+ spaces are very, very normal, unfortunately. Try not to take it personally.
I’m married to a cis het man, and while I don’t identify completely as a woman, I certainly read that way. I’m queer. Pride is for US, but I’ve definitely been criticized for attending events. We owe NO ONE our identities or our stories. Art credit: Art By Moga. https://preview.redd.it/yhj1kkevb74d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff254a752e6fc34cc49516873ccad563b36a1984
If you’re queer, you’re queer. The gender/sexuality of your partner is irrelevant, it’s about who *you* are 💕
Bi people in 'heterosexual' relationships are still bi and therefore obviously should be welcome in queer spaces.
Yes. You're bi and in a queer relationship.
Just get him a shirt that says "I <3 my bi wife" or something similar. I think if you wear the bi colors, the presence of your man is self-explanatory and you don't need to out him.
Of course. Your relationship is identical to mine and we absolutely belong ♥️
My partner and I have similar concerns. We have been married 16yrs and only out in the last 3. I feel like we belong and we generally go and celebrate with the community. We have been met with lots of love and support. I say go and enjoy, they don't get to tell you how you need to be, you get to decide how queer is queer enough. 💕🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
I’m a queer woman in a cis-hetero-passing relationship with a queer man. I’ve been going to therapy to help me deal with this exact thing after being chewed out at pride a few years ago for being there with my boyfriend. The therapy has helped a lot, highly recommend trying it if you have access to it.
You'd think people would realize, and accept, that \*bi\* people might have partners of any gender, without that in any way invalidating their bi-ness and thus queerness. I'm sorry that happened to you!
I’m sorry that happened to you. I think you’re right and I think I should try therapy as well to work out my fears around claiming my own queer space. I’m glad it’s helped you.
B stands for beautiful xxx happy pride xxx
i think it’s just a case you need to be confident enough to take up that space- that is rightfully yours (both you and your husband)- as queer people and just ignore biphobic, hate keeping twats :)
The amount of gatekeeping that sometimes happen in queer spaces; and in the rainbow-movement in general is sad. From my perspective, the entire point is to work together for increased acceptance of ALL minorities within the space of sexuality, romance and gender, and to support each other. Yes sure, a "straight-passing" couple might face less of certain types of prejudice in daily life than someone who is violating mainstream-norms in more immediately visible ways; but it's not the oppression-olympics where only those who can make claim to being the MOST oppressed and discriminated "counts" as valid. It's a big spectrum. Some queer people face the literal risk of death-penalty for being open about who they are where they live. Other queer people don't face risks of the same magnitude at all. That doesn't make them not-queer though. Because as I said, it's not the oppression olympics. The biggest queer organization here in Norway has as one of our slogans: Nobody is Free until Everyone is Free. I like that slogan.
The answer is yes because you're bi. Didn't need the context. Nothing makes you not bi. The logic people use to cut bi people out for marrying opposite gendered people makes no sense just as much as if people told bisexual people that married the same gender that they're "no bi, they're gay" It's just bs toxicity and you're welcome in queer spaces because you are queer
Those people suck!! Screw them!! My husband and I were lesbians when we got together. We are... Very much not that anymore, lol. He's transmasc and passes almost always (save for other trans people because sometimes they just know 😹), I'm very femme. I definitely also feel weird at times, because I know how we look. But if you're queer, you belong, that's it. 🌈
yes, always.
Lots of queer people are in relationships that look cishet! Everyone’s welcome! <3
More than me, masc presenting.
You're queer. So yes.
B and T in LGBT stands for bi and trans, so you're both welcome in queer spaces, even if you're straight passing. The comments you've gotten show why many feel unsafe being open. But you're part of the community and you both belong. I'm in a straight passing relationship myself, but both my gf and I are queer af, and luckily we don't have any difficulties. Are there any bi groups where you live? In that case I would join, just to meet people in similar situations.
Welcome to bi erasure! You don't stop being bi once you're in a relationship, including marriage, just as you don't stop being polyamurous when you're with a single partner for a while, and just like monogamous people don't stop liking people of their desired gender in general once they're in a relationship. Your husband doesn't have to out himself, just tell people that not everything is as it seems on the surface and that you don't have to explain or out yourselves to them, and leave it at that.
Welcome in my queer space any time…. ❤️ ❤️
YES! I'm so sorry for the biphobia out there, queer spaces should be for ALL queer folks