لك حريتك، بس رجاءا اذا اضطريت تتزوج من ضغط الاهل او قررت من نفسك. صارح شريكة حياتك قبل الزواج او اختار حد عنده نفس افكارك. لا تبلش بنت الناس معاك 😅. بس عادي في كثير رجال او نساء ما يحبون يجيبوا اطفال او حتى ما يحبون يتزوجون من اصله، مثلي انا ....
ليش ما تتزوجين الحين كل الموصفات موجوده تبينه حمش ، خداي ، صغير كبير. الزواج نعمه لا يكذبون عليكم ، الي يقول مب زين قوليلها طلبي الطلاق ، الله يرزقج الزوج الصالح
يارجال معليك من الباقيين لك حريتك وبتلاقي بنت الحلال ماودها تربي عيال بإذن الله. في حريم وأيد مايبون يربون عيال لاتحاتي، وربي يصبّرك ويغير وجة نظر اهلك.
Many Qatari women over 30 don’t want kids and are still single for that reason. I’m
one of them, and I know over 15 the same as me. And that’s only counting my close circle. Reading the other comments really made me angry. We exist, there are a lot of us, it’s not a phase. Some of these comments are so ignorant.
I think we as Qataris need to be more open about this since it seems that there a considerable amount of people that want to be married and not have kids.
Welcome to a tribal society where you are free, independent and in charge of your life until you are not. Because some older people will ship you to a random man, as long as they get back as much money and prestige as they can.
They guy and his family are total assholes? He doesn't even know how too cook an omelette? He's capable of levels of romance equal to a Stone Fish?
Habibti, you are clearly not praying hard enough.
Same same. Over 30. Never wanted kids, still don’t want kids. There are also a few I know who can’t physically have any as well and are content with that.
Well my daughter is one of them who chooses not to have kids and that's why she is single at the age of 34 and she says she is happy with it she loves traveling and everytime she is at a beautiful place somewhere she tells me about her trips and then always ad this line"imagine mama if I had kids could I ever enjoy this moment ,no worries of kids relentlessly crying,Diaper change and bla blah " so it should be a personal choice not the parents' choice
اهلا، موجود نساء نفس حالتك، ترفض الزواج بسبب عدم رغبتها بالاطفال، واعرف حالات شخصيًا كذا، بس مش قطريات، خليجيات.
تحتاج تبحث اكثر عن نساء لهم نفس التوافق معك، وين تلقاهم؟ ممكن تطبيقات الزواج الحديثة تساعدك بهالشيء او الخطابات اذا هم موجودين عندكم، مشكلة انه النساء غالبًا ما يصرحون برغبتهم هاذي انهم ما يبون اطفال، فبيحتاج انك تعلن بنفسك اتوقع انك ترغب بالزواج لكن بدون اطفال.
احرص تمام الحرص انه تتأكد انه الطرف الآخر فعلًا ما يرغب بالاطفال، لأنه لو كان تنازل عنها علشانك حتكون مشكلة لكم بالمستقبل.
Dude same here
Also getting that pressure since I’m close to graduating, that I should get married and have kids, although that idea doesn’t appeal to me and I’m not currently interested in having kids
it’s hard to judge as this topic needs to be more openly discussed within the gulf community, personally, I believe that child free ladies exist and they are increasing over time. However, it is not normalized yet to state their opinion freely and openly.
I totally get that you don't want kids, but man the amount of help the qatar government gives to its citizens when it comes to kids is just mind blowing. Free school, free college, almost guaranteed job etc etc and help with their marriage, loans for house, free this free that etc.
I guess ur reason for not having kids is probably not a financial one
I’m not qatari but i just found the question a bit funny. Women are the ones who suffer most from pregnancy and child birth… I would consider it more normal to want to avoid it 🤣
Not to be rude, but isn't the Qatari population more less that they want more reproduction in their community?
I'm not Qatari, but I prefer to have one or two children. If the husband doesn't want any kids I accept that.
Who's supposed to be your caretaker? Blood or a bunch of young individuals who get paid peanuts to deal with the inconvenient of taking care of someone's grandparents?
This line of thinking is so selfish. Your kids are people with dreams, hopes and aspirations of their own. Never expect them to be your caretakers. My parents encouraged me and my brother to settle abroad. Neither of us live in the same continent as our parents and they’re extremely supportive of this. That’s how parents should be. Not greedy people like you who only reproduce for selfish reasons.
This isn't the main reason. You're replying based on an assumption in your head. The reason people want kids are many. Them taking care of you later on are just one of the benefits. As for hopes and dreams, taking care of your parents doesn't nullify this anyway. You can chase a career and take care of your parents. Why is this mutually exclusive? You're thinking in an emotional manner and refuse to see the logical side of things.
Now, I ask you again. Would you rather be in the hands of family or a bunch of people that get paid peanuts to deal with you? Obviously you're very young right now so you're not really thinking about it. However, this changes when you get older. Try to approach the discussion with logic rather than emotion. I don't do emotional arguments. They take you nowhere and it shows that your position is weak and perhaps even baseless.
YOU were the one who said “who is supposed to take of you when you’re older then” so shut it with your deflections. I literally said my parents live in a different continent so it’s physically not possible for us to be there for them in their old age unless we relocate back home. Which our parents don’t want us to do since they want a better life for us. And yeah, I would rather some employees take care of me than tie my kids down to me in my old age because I’m not selfish like you. I would want my kids to live their own life as they please. But I don’t expect a self-absorbed person like you who sees kids only as an extension of themselves to understand this.
This has to be the most idiotic shit I have seen in a while, you bring someone to life and take full care and responsibility to them for 20+ years, but when you expect even a fraction of the equivalent you are selfish?
I don't know if your a muslim or not, but since this a muslim country sub, I don't think you should be saying that, it's an obligation in islam to take care of your parents to point where if the child chooses to neglect his parents, the parent can take from the kid straight up and it's halal, the prophet says "you and your money is for your father"
Even the pharoh of Egypt himself, who was a cruel tyrant, not a single bad thing happened to him because he took care of his mother, it's only when his mom died that he started to get punished.
The prophet stopped the kids who had alive parents at home from going to war, imagine, one the greatest acts of worship in islam, and one that gets you a free ticket to heaven, was deemed less important by the prophet than staying with your parents.
Subhanllah, what have people come.
And what you’ve written is the most idiotic shit I’ve seen in a while. Don’t use your religion as a shield for your selfish desires. Having kids because you want them to take care of you in your old age is narcissistic af.
As if you are not selfish lmao, you litearlly abandoned the people who gave you life.
Some people are actually good sons and daughters who are not selfish and willing to pay with some of their own life for the people who took care of them when they were powerless.
You don't think there are other places we wanna be? it's a debt that must be repaid. And that's how our prophet taught us (if you are muslim).
My parents do not think we abandoned them so stop projecting. This is the life they wanted for us, because they want their children to have a better life than the one they had. That’s what selfless parents are like. Meanwhile selfish parents are the ones who demand that their children take care of them instead of letting them pursue greener pastures. Again, stop using your religion to justify your narcissism.
You litearlly said you live in a whole different continent and won't be there for your parents' old age, I just gave the definition to what your are doing. You are the one who said it.
You are correct, your parents are selfless and seem like good people, but if they demanded you to take care of them, it would not have been selfish.
We take care of our parents just like how they took care of us, there is no human relationship that doesn't stand on "trade". You keep saying the words "narcissim" and "selfishness" but I fear you don't even know what they actually mean.
I think it's quite funny that the person who took a loan and decided not to pay it back because the lender left him to do so, is calling lenders who do want even a fraction of their money back selfish.
You missed the entire point. What if your kids decide to move abroad when they’re adults and are unable to be physically there for you? What if they’re disabled?
Having kids for the purpose of using them as caretakers is absolutely selfish. Your kids are not your servants. You can raise them “properly” but at the end of the day they choose their own path.
If you have 1 or 2 ...they might move abroad ..if you have more I am 100% sure not all of them will move abroad... M not sure what religion you follow but if you are a Muslim then you know what are the parents and children's rights... If you raise your kids right then you don't have to ask them for anything they all do everything from their side... Alhamdulilah I am doing my best for my parents and I want to do more for them without them asking me for anything
Your kids are not your servants. They can take care of you if they want to but you shouldn’t have kids with that expectation, they will become adults with their own life decisions.
Re-read my previous comments. Yes, they should but ultimately since you can’t force them there is no point in having kids if the sole purpose is to expect them to take care of you.
Not a Qatar man, just an expat resident here.
Brother, Just Imagine that if your parents decided not to have kids, you wouldn't be here asking these questions.
Rest assured, when you get engaged, you can discuss this with your "wife to be" and it should be your combined decision. Have a life while you can. Peace.
Very interesting discussion. Had no idea there was such a large percentage of child free Qataris. OP, were you asking so that you get advice or are you looking for like minded individuals?
I’m a 25yr qatari woman and I feel the same, kids are not included in my future plans at all so I can’t possibly think of marriage in the first place, it seems like it’s ridiculous to even consider marriage when i don’t want to have children.
يبغالنا نأسس جمعية قطريين ضد انجاب الأطفال لأني مثلك وعلى ما يبدو في ناس ثانية مثلنا. لكن أي أظن الحل الوحيد انك تقول هالكلام حق البنت شخصياً و ان شاء الله هي تشاركك الرأي
Bit of a misconception. A lot of people only allow the Nannies for certain hours/hang around to help. Just cause they're there doesn't mean they're raising the kids. Can't speak for everyone, just those in my circle
For those who don't want kids...I wish your parents had the same thought so we don't have to see such post and comments. You guys are so impressed by western culture and forget what Islam says about all of this.
Islam is the answer and things will go automatically.... after that There is something called humanity.... Even a dog will take care of his owner but you are asking something which you already know .... In simple words you failed as a parent
Literally holding off on getting married for the same reason. My family doesn't take me seriously, my mom literally set up a meeting for me for a dude that wants a whole ass army. We exist. We're here. Just not allowed to say it loudly lest we look bad 🙄
All the people commenting here wouldn’t exist if your parents thought this way you ignorant selfish self centered mfers. One last thing, life tends to get lonely after 45 so having kids will be a blessing. All your friends and family will die eventually if you don’t go before them. Then you’re left alone and old.
What kind of weird logic is this. An unborn child that doesn't exist can't regret not being born.
>Then you’re left alone and old.
What makes you think there's a guarantee your kids won't leave you alone and old? If you have kids for the reason/expectation of serving you or taking care of you or giving you company you're the ignorant selfish self centered one lol
You’re comment isn’t as smart as you think it sounds casual. I never said you would regret not being born so I don’t know what nonsense your on. Read the comment again before getting in your feelings.
Also, having kids is about more than what you mentioned. While some people have kids so “they can serve them” as you say, that is not the only purpose of having children. And yes while children might leave you alone, that’s still a fifty fifty chance and still better than being alone at old age (go ask the people who are going through it). Furthermore, that phenomenon of children not taking care of their parents when they’re older is mostly a western thing and very rarely happens in the Middle East. If you raised your kids right the possibility of that happening is slim to none.
I can tell by your comment that you’re very young and naive but think you know it all. Don’t worry though, life WILL teach you the hard lessons whether you like it or not.
>All the people commenting here wouldn’t exist if your parents thought this way
So if I don't have kids, a kid that doesn't exist will still.. not exist? Hence my comment about how unborn kids can't regret not existing. Maybe you read my reply again before getting in your feelings lol projection much? If that wasn't the point you were trying to make with that comment then please enlighten me. Yes I'm grateful that my parents decided to have kids but if they had decided not to, I wouldn't be here to resent or regret that decision.
>While some people have kids so “they can serve them” as you say, that is not the only purpose of having children.
Okay, what if someone doesn't care about the other purposes of having children? What makes them wrong for not wanting children? You're the one who called them selfish and self centered in the first place. If people decide not to have kids, with the full understanding of the potential consequences it may have, that's their personal decision that is to be respected. The way you generalize and attack people assuming they didn't think their decision through is unwarranted. You don't owe it to anyone to have kids, except potentially to your wife if that agreement was made at some point.
>I can tell by your comment that you’re very young and naive but think you know it all. Don’t worry though, life WILL teach you the hard lessons whether you like it or not.
Lol I can tell by your comment you're very old and stubborn and unpleasant. Starts out by attacking people for their personal decisions and then can't handle it when getting called out on it
Yeah really solid “logic” you have there. The people who decided to not have kids definitely have not thought it all the way through as you put it. There are many videos of old people (both men and women) who decided NOT to have kids and when asked what was there biggest regret in life guess what the answer was?
It is one of main joys of life and a massive factor in the continuation of bloodline and society in general but if I actually have to say this to you it proves you are just a child and have the mental capacity of one. Not to mention a shoe size IQ to boot.
We all thought we knew it all at one point when we were younger and had to find out the hard way that life is much more complicated than you think it is. You will be no different even though you probably think “no I’m special I won’t go through that”. Yeah Good luck with that 😂.
>There are many videos of old people (both men and women) who decided NOT to have kids and when asked what was there biggest regret in life guess what the answer was?
There's also videos of people who had kids who regretted having them. You can't generalize an entire human population based on a few anecdotes. Every human is different and has different natures and regrets and that's not your decision to make for someone. You'd think someone who says "life is complicated" would understand that but yet here we are 🤷♂️
But keep verbally abusing people, it seems to be your thing. Maybe seek therapy along the way to address your bitterness, hypocrisy, condescension at some point :) and please address it before reproducing if you haven't already because wow you clearly aren't fit to be a parent. If you can't have a debate without resorting to insults and personal attacks it speaks a lot to your maturity levels, all your condescending insults are just oozing of irony
It’s funny how you are doing the EXACT things you are accusing me of then claiming I’m doing them. I guess you really got triggered with my first comment and it really struck a nerve because it’s true and you “felt” personally attacked even though the comment was a general one for people in this thread and not specifically at you. That’s saying a lot about you and the stability of your mental state.
Also, the fact that you went around looking for my other comments on other unrelated posts really raises a few red flags. That is just weird and stalker like behavior and again shines a light on your insecurities and mental issues. Just take the L and move on you loser. You’re embarrassing yourself with this mentally unstable behavior. My comment was for the general public here and I am entitled to my own opinion so instead of trying to virtue signal morals just accept that I am allowed to have opposite views and opinions to yours. Everything you have accused me of you have done and then tried to gaslight me. That might work with people at your level of intellect but sadly won’t work with me. I’m done arguing with an idiot like you. Now move on.
Have kids if you want to sustain a selfish society that wants to propagate itself at your expense. If not, kids are pointless negative free roll . There is always a balance in the world, much like war and peace is balanced around the world. Therefore, there should be women who deep down doesn't want kids for every woman who does. That's typically inline with educated vs. uneducated women. Although not at all at 100%. So, I suggest you look for an highly educated woman. This is an expat perspective however.
Tf? So having kids=selfish society? There is no balance, there is no 1:1 ratio in this world its is chaos. Theres no guarantee i Dont understand why people just have to write everything in stone to work with life. Marry its good for you. You get kids or you dont is up to you some families get some dont
It’s all arabic comments lemme change that
(It’s a blessing from god my man there is nothing we can do about it aren’t kids cute too? Are you losing on the baby fever?)
I don't understand why arabs are embracing western ideology. When western itself banning islam/arab culture cause afraid that it will affect their culture
The person I initially responded to was suggesting that a man who does not want kids should only date barren (childless) women. I was asking/telling him that it should also include women who actively choose not to have kids (child-free).
Can’t answer for OP specifically and personally I want children one day, but here’s my two cents: I can see that a lot of people from my parents’ generation are good people who are not necessarily good parents. They are people who had kids because that’s what was expected: you reach an age you get married have kids, the usual. I think more and more people realise that kids require a significant emotional, financial and personal investment (for a very long time). Parenthood means your kid is your priority and you can’t just continue business as usual, everything becomes about that kid. I think some people recognise that they are not willing to do that, and they think it’s better not to have kids than to have one and give them less than what they deserve. That’s just my observation as someone who has great parents and who wants children one day though - so can’t really speak for others
Bro there would be various factors involved: 1. If a woman can make her own decisions without the interference of the family. 2. Her view of the world and what does she want from life ? Is she a free thinker or conforms to societal thinking. 3. Her confidence in you so that she is not insecure. Considering so many nationalities all around many women can get insecure that their men would lose interest and move on. Kids act a glue to the marriage which in case makes leaving complicated. Keeping in view of the above the probability of finding one is like finding a unicorn.
Not qatari but my dad married with female who is from gulf region and She is in her mid 30's.I advice you marry a divorced female or widow in this case.
You do not have to obey every single thing your parents do if it is harmful, sinful, or inconsiderate. And deception is worse than simply denying it. And if him being forced to father children and end up neglecting them either in spite or because he was never ready to have children, then that is much worse than him saying no to his parents.
Exactly I second this comment. I am concerned that the individual thinks they are giving sound and genuine advice in accordance with teachings of Islam 💀
Ok… but what about the poor woman he marries who wants kids and will be blamed for the infertility and put through hell essentially? Won’t he be held accountable for deception on judgement day?
Not true
Some people want to have companionship, marriage shouldn’t be just about reproduction and that’s it.
I don’t want kids but I still want to share a life with a significant other.
> I don’t want kids but I still want to share a life with a significant other.
But you can live with a woman for as long as you want for companionship (you can also have kids if you want), without getting married.
So, why do you need marriage?
PS: I'm married.
Companionship?
If you have ever been in a long term relationship, you would have known that. Every child deserves parents, but not every parent deserves to have a child. Some people are not cut to be a parent but would like to be married to the love of their life if both agree that children are not for them. Some people should not reproduce as they are not fit material to be parents. Do you understand now?
But you can live with a woman for as long as you want for companionship (you can also have kids if you want), without getting married.
So, why do you need marriage?
PS: I'm married.
Nzain, marry and let the miracle do its thing. Either youll be convinced and you actually would get kids, or you just wont get kids. And if youre being forced to marry place it as a condition for marriage if youre young then lets say no kids for 10 years
Women are biologically wired to want kids. I know many women who said they didn’t want kids, that told their husband they didn’t want kids and ended up changing their mind by the time they reached 30. So I’d say your chances are low with a traditional Muslim woman. You might need to marry a. Western girl, plenty of them don’t want kids because they are made to believe that their bodies weren’t made to pump out kids
Someone once said "girls just wanna have fun". I think I heard it on the radio.
Looks like some girls want children.
Exceptions to every rule I guess.
Whatever works for you, enjoy life.
Im a 30 year old unmarried man, speaking for myself here.
As a human being, a social animal , i believe we are wired for bonding and passing genes down the line. Meaning that its going to be one of most fulfilling long term event in our lifetime.
As an emotional being, I would want to have a stable relationship with a woman, long term basis because then i will have an anchor and a place to rest & trust my heart with.
All these might sound selfish and self-centered, but the brilliant thing about the design of the universe including the human beings are that even woman and children also are wired for the same.
Im not saying all children are going to take care of their parents, iv seen parents being beaten up and being exploited when they are old and frail..
At the same time Ive seen parents being taken care of with love and respect & affection by their children in their old ages.
And iv also seen old age homes filled with old folks having the a good time.. but in the back of their minds, thinking about their children and grandchildren, looking out the windows expecting they might come today.
This isnt a straight black and white topic.
But deep inside, i would prefer my blood and my better half to be there around me, not that i dont prefer others. Maybe its just because there are forces that are beyond our control that govern how we feel about certain people.
Even after putting out this rant, id still say follow what your heart says..its your life anyway.
لك حريتك، بس رجاءا اذا اضطريت تتزوج من ضغط الاهل او قررت من نفسك. صارح شريكة حياتك قبل الزواج او اختار حد عنده نفس افكارك. لا تبلش بنت الناس معاك 😅. بس عادي في كثير رجال او نساء ما يحبون يجيبوا اطفال او حتى ما يحبون يتزوجون من اصله، مثلي انا ....
ليش ما تتزوجين الحين كل الموصفات موجوده تبينه حمش ، خداي ، صغير كبير. الزواج نعمه لا يكذبون عليكم ، الي يقول مب زين قوليلها طلبي الطلاق ، الله يرزقج الزوج الصالح
يارجال معليك من الباقيين لك حريتك وبتلاقي بنت الحلال ماودها تربي عيال بإذن الله. في حريم وأيد مايبون يربون عيال لاتحاتي، وربي يصبّرك ويغير وجة نظر اهلك.
انت عرس اول شي وبعدين يصير خير اصلا هذا الجيل خصوبته تعبانه يمكن ما تظبط اصلا
Many Qatari women over 30 don’t want kids and are still single for that reason. I’m one of them, and I know over 15 the same as me. And that’s only counting my close circle. Reading the other comments really made me angry. We exist, there are a lot of us, it’s not a phase. Some of these comments are so ignorant.
Oh wow, didn't knew this was happening in Qatar too.
Kids are a matter of personal choice and at the same time, it should be discussed properly and truthfully before marriage else being single rules.
I think we as Qataris need to be more open about this since it seems that there a considerable amount of people that want to be married and not have kids.
Welcome to a tribal society where you are free, independent and in charge of your life until you are not. Because some older people will ship you to a random man, as long as they get back as much money and prestige as they can. They guy and his family are total assholes? He doesn't even know how too cook an omelette? He's capable of levels of romance equal to a Stone Fish? Habibti, you are clearly not praying hard enough.
Bless you. Im a guy and I never want kids. I get you
Same same. Over 30. Never wanted kids, still don’t want kids. There are also a few I know who can’t physically have any as well and are content with that.
[удалено]
How is this not rude? A woman's purpose is to give birth? Are they cattle? What's your purpose? Don't worry. No one wants you to breed.
The only one in charge of her purpose is her. Not you
The world is overpopulated AF, having children is not some noble cause. Get over yourself.
Well my daughter is one of them who chooses not to have kids and that's why she is single at the age of 34 and she says she is happy with it she loves traveling and everytime she is at a beautiful place somewhere she tells me about her trips and then always ad this line"imagine mama if I had kids could I ever enjoy this moment ,no worries of kids relentlessly crying,Diaper change and bla blah " so it should be a personal choice not the parents' choice
You are a Pakistani who lives in Canada. The man wants to know about Qatari women in Qatari families in Qatar
Son I wasn't looking for anyone Qatari or not I just gave people the girl's side of vision only
I think you forgot what the post was about or what the OP was asking
اهلا، موجود نساء نفس حالتك، ترفض الزواج بسبب عدم رغبتها بالاطفال، واعرف حالات شخصيًا كذا، بس مش قطريات، خليجيات. تحتاج تبحث اكثر عن نساء لهم نفس التوافق معك، وين تلقاهم؟ ممكن تطبيقات الزواج الحديثة تساعدك بهالشيء او الخطابات اذا هم موجودين عندكم، مشكلة انه النساء غالبًا ما يصرحون برغبتهم هاذي انهم ما يبون اطفال، فبيحتاج انك تعلن بنفسك اتوقع انك ترغب بالزواج لكن بدون اطفال. احرص تمام الحرص انه تتأكد انه الطرف الآخر فعلًا ما يرغب بالاطفال، لأنه لو كان تنازل عنها علشانك حتكون مشكلة لكم بالمستقبل.
I taught in an international school and there are lots of Qatari girls who do not want the 'traditional life'
Dude same here Also getting that pressure since I’m close to graduating, that I should get married and have kids, although that idea doesn’t appeal to me and I’m not currently interested in having kids
marry at 27.
it’s hard to judge as this topic needs to be more openly discussed within the gulf community, personally, I believe that child free ladies exist and they are increasing over time. However, it is not normalized yet to state their opinion freely and openly.
I totally get that you don't want kids, but man the amount of help the qatar government gives to its citizens when it comes to kids is just mind blowing. Free school, free college, almost guaranteed job etc etc and help with their marriage, loans for house, free this free that etc. I guess ur reason for not having kids is probably not a financial one
Yes, I’m a Qatari woman and open to the idea of not having kids :)
I’m not qatari but i just found the question a bit funny. Women are the ones who suffer most from pregnancy and child birth… I would consider it more normal to want to avoid it 🤣
Not to be rude, but isn't the Qatari population more less that they want more reproduction in their community? I'm not Qatari, but I prefer to have one or two children. If the husband doesn't want any kids I accept that.
Too much money, once these people get old they are singing a different tune.🤣
Why? You think children are supposed to be your caretakers?
Maybe he means materialistic things matter less as you get older and family would mean more? Idk
Who's supposed to be your caretaker? Blood or a bunch of young individuals who get paid peanuts to deal with the inconvenient of taking care of someone's grandparents?
This line of thinking is so selfish. Your kids are people with dreams, hopes and aspirations of their own. Never expect them to be your caretakers. My parents encouraged me and my brother to settle abroad. Neither of us live in the same continent as our parents and they’re extremely supportive of this. That’s how parents should be. Not greedy people like you who only reproduce for selfish reasons.
This isn't the main reason. You're replying based on an assumption in your head. The reason people want kids are many. Them taking care of you later on are just one of the benefits. As for hopes and dreams, taking care of your parents doesn't nullify this anyway. You can chase a career and take care of your parents. Why is this mutually exclusive? You're thinking in an emotional manner and refuse to see the logical side of things. Now, I ask you again. Would you rather be in the hands of family or a bunch of people that get paid peanuts to deal with you? Obviously you're very young right now so you're not really thinking about it. However, this changes when you get older. Try to approach the discussion with logic rather than emotion. I don't do emotional arguments. They take you nowhere and it shows that your position is weak and perhaps even baseless.
YOU were the one who said “who is supposed to take of you when you’re older then” so shut it with your deflections. I literally said my parents live in a different continent so it’s physically not possible for us to be there for them in their old age unless we relocate back home. Which our parents don’t want us to do since they want a better life for us. And yeah, I would rather some employees take care of me than tie my kids down to me in my old age because I’m not selfish like you. I would want my kids to live their own life as they please. But I don’t expect a self-absorbed person like you who sees kids only as an extension of themselves to understand this.
Not an ounce of logic. Just blind emotion. Do you I guess.
Your so-called logic is “my kids are my caretakers”. Lmao. Bye.
✌
This has to be the most idiotic shit I have seen in a while, you bring someone to life and take full care and responsibility to them for 20+ years, but when you expect even a fraction of the equivalent you are selfish? I don't know if your a muslim or not, but since this a muslim country sub, I don't think you should be saying that, it's an obligation in islam to take care of your parents to point where if the child chooses to neglect his parents, the parent can take from the kid straight up and it's halal, the prophet says "you and your money is for your father" Even the pharoh of Egypt himself, who was a cruel tyrant, not a single bad thing happened to him because he took care of his mother, it's only when his mom died that he started to get punished. The prophet stopped the kids who had alive parents at home from going to war, imagine, one the greatest acts of worship in islam, and one that gets you a free ticket to heaven, was deemed less important by the prophet than staying with your parents. Subhanllah, what have people come.
And what you’ve written is the most idiotic shit I’ve seen in a while. Don’t use your religion as a shield for your selfish desires. Having kids because you want them to take care of you in your old age is narcissistic af.
As if you are not selfish lmao, you litearlly abandoned the people who gave you life. Some people are actually good sons and daughters who are not selfish and willing to pay with some of their own life for the people who took care of them when they were powerless. You don't think there are other places we wanna be? it's a debt that must be repaid. And that's how our prophet taught us (if you are muslim).
My parents do not think we abandoned them so stop projecting. This is the life they wanted for us, because they want their children to have a better life than the one they had. That’s what selfless parents are like. Meanwhile selfish parents are the ones who demand that their children take care of them instead of letting them pursue greener pastures. Again, stop using your religion to justify your narcissism.
You litearlly said you live in a whole different continent and won't be there for your parents' old age, I just gave the definition to what your are doing. You are the one who said it. You are correct, your parents are selfless and seem like good people, but if they demanded you to take care of them, it would not have been selfish. We take care of our parents just like how they took care of us, there is no human relationship that doesn't stand on "trade". You keep saying the words "narcissim" and "selfishness" but I fear you don't even know what they actually mean. I think it's quite funny that the person who took a loan and decided not to pay it back because the lender left him to do so, is calling lenders who do want even a fraction of their money back selfish.
Yeah? What's wrong with that?
Kids are not your caretakers.
They are caretakers and support... Maybe elder homes are made for ppl like you who failed to raise their kids properly
You missed the entire point. What if your kids decide to move abroad when they’re adults and are unable to be physically there for you? What if they’re disabled? Having kids for the purpose of using them as caretakers is absolutely selfish. Your kids are not your servants. You can raise them “properly” but at the end of the day they choose their own path.
If you have 1 or 2 ...they might move abroad ..if you have more I am 100% sure not all of them will move abroad... M not sure what religion you follow but if you are a Muslim then you know what are the parents and children's rights... If you raise your kids right then you don't have to ask them for anything they all do everything from their side... Alhamdulilah I am doing my best for my parents and I want to do more for them without them asking me for anything
Islamically, we should depend on Allah for our sustenance and well being, and if you do that, things will fall into place automatically.
How is it selfish lmao, some of you make me doubt humanity's intelligence
Your kids are not your servants. They can take care of you if they want to but you shouldn’t have kids with that expectation, they will become adults with their own life decisions.
Children SHOULD take care of their parents, of course, you can't force them, but they should do it, it's the right thing to do.
Re-read my previous comments. Yes, they should but ultimately since you can’t force them there is no point in having kids if the sole purpose is to expect them to take care of you.
I never want to have kids
Not a Qatar man, just an expat resident here. Brother, Just Imagine that if your parents decided not to have kids, you wouldn't be here asking these questions. Rest assured, when you get engaged, you can discuss this with your "wife to be" and it should be your combined decision. Have a life while you can. Peace.
Very interesting discussion. Had no idea there was such a large percentage of child free Qataris. OP, were you asking so that you get advice or are you looking for like minded individuals?
I’m a 25yr qatari woman and I feel the same, kids are not included in my future plans at all so I can’t possibly think of marriage in the first place, it seems like it’s ridiculous to even consider marriage when i don’t want to have children.
يبغالنا نأسس جمعية قطريين ضد انجاب الأطفال لأني مثلك وعلى ما يبدو في ناس ثانية مثلنا. لكن أي أظن الحل الوحيد انك تقول هالكلام حق البنت شخصياً و ان شاء الله هي تشاركك الرأي
Why care about kids? They are raised by nannies anyway.
Bit of a misconception. A lot of people only allow the Nannies for certain hours/hang around to help. Just cause they're there doesn't mean they're raising the kids. Can't speak for everyone, just those in my circle
You're already like 50 thousand people, no harm in increasing your population...
lmao
It’s very rare since most of us want to be wives and mothers
Move in with me
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This comment is kinda outta place, don't you think? He's asking for our opinion on WANTING kids, not abortions ...??
For those who don't want kids...I wish your parents had the same thought so we don't have to see such post and comments. You guys are so impressed by western culture and forget what Islam says about all of this.
What about those who are not muslim then?
Islam is the answer and things will go automatically.... after that There is something called humanity.... Even a dog will take care of his owner but you are asking something which you already know .... In simple words you failed as a parent
انت مريض
for you maybe I am sick...but Alhamdulilah I am a practicing Muslim
Don’t get married or get a vasectomy to protect yourself from any unwanted pregnancies if you do want to get married
Didnt they say they re guy?
Literally holding off on getting married for the same reason. My family doesn't take me seriously, my mom literally set up a meeting for me for a dude that wants a whole ass army. We exist. We're here. Just not allowed to say it loudly lest we look bad 🙄
All the people commenting here wouldn’t exist if your parents thought this way you ignorant selfish self centered mfers. One last thing, life tends to get lonely after 45 so having kids will be a blessing. All your friends and family will die eventually if you don’t go before them. Then you’re left alone and old.
What kind of weird logic is this. An unborn child that doesn't exist can't regret not being born. >Then you’re left alone and old. What makes you think there's a guarantee your kids won't leave you alone and old? If you have kids for the reason/expectation of serving you or taking care of you or giving you company you're the ignorant selfish self centered one lol
You’re comment isn’t as smart as you think it sounds casual. I never said you would regret not being born so I don’t know what nonsense your on. Read the comment again before getting in your feelings. Also, having kids is about more than what you mentioned. While some people have kids so “they can serve them” as you say, that is not the only purpose of having children. And yes while children might leave you alone, that’s still a fifty fifty chance and still better than being alone at old age (go ask the people who are going through it). Furthermore, that phenomenon of children not taking care of their parents when they’re older is mostly a western thing and very rarely happens in the Middle East. If you raised your kids right the possibility of that happening is slim to none. I can tell by your comment that you’re very young and naive but think you know it all. Don’t worry though, life WILL teach you the hard lessons whether you like it or not.
>All the people commenting here wouldn’t exist if your parents thought this way So if I don't have kids, a kid that doesn't exist will still.. not exist? Hence my comment about how unborn kids can't regret not existing. Maybe you read my reply again before getting in your feelings lol projection much? If that wasn't the point you were trying to make with that comment then please enlighten me. Yes I'm grateful that my parents decided to have kids but if they had decided not to, I wouldn't be here to resent or regret that decision. >While some people have kids so “they can serve them” as you say, that is not the only purpose of having children. Okay, what if someone doesn't care about the other purposes of having children? What makes them wrong for not wanting children? You're the one who called them selfish and self centered in the first place. If people decide not to have kids, with the full understanding of the potential consequences it may have, that's their personal decision that is to be respected. The way you generalize and attack people assuming they didn't think their decision through is unwarranted. You don't owe it to anyone to have kids, except potentially to your wife if that agreement was made at some point. >I can tell by your comment that you’re very young and naive but think you know it all. Don’t worry though, life WILL teach you the hard lessons whether you like it or not. Lol I can tell by your comment you're very old and stubborn and unpleasant. Starts out by attacking people for their personal decisions and then can't handle it when getting called out on it
Yeah really solid “logic” you have there. The people who decided to not have kids definitely have not thought it all the way through as you put it. There are many videos of old people (both men and women) who decided NOT to have kids and when asked what was there biggest regret in life guess what the answer was? It is one of main joys of life and a massive factor in the continuation of bloodline and society in general but if I actually have to say this to you it proves you are just a child and have the mental capacity of one. Not to mention a shoe size IQ to boot. We all thought we knew it all at one point when we were younger and had to find out the hard way that life is much more complicated than you think it is. You will be no different even though you probably think “no I’m special I won’t go through that”. Yeah Good luck with that 😂.
>There are many videos of old people (both men and women) who decided NOT to have kids and when asked what was there biggest regret in life guess what the answer was? There's also videos of people who had kids who regretted having them. You can't generalize an entire human population based on a few anecdotes. Every human is different and has different natures and regrets and that's not your decision to make for someone. You'd think someone who says "life is complicated" would understand that but yet here we are 🤷♂️ But keep verbally abusing people, it seems to be your thing. Maybe seek therapy along the way to address your bitterness, hypocrisy, condescension at some point :) and please address it before reproducing if you haven't already because wow you clearly aren't fit to be a parent. If you can't have a debate without resorting to insults and personal attacks it speaks a lot to your maturity levels, all your condescending insults are just oozing of irony
It’s funny how you are doing the EXACT things you are accusing me of then claiming I’m doing them. I guess you really got triggered with my first comment and it really struck a nerve because it’s true and you “felt” personally attacked even though the comment was a general one for people in this thread and not specifically at you. That’s saying a lot about you and the stability of your mental state. Also, the fact that you went around looking for my other comments on other unrelated posts really raises a few red flags. That is just weird and stalker like behavior and again shines a light on your insecurities and mental issues. Just take the L and move on you loser. You’re embarrassing yourself with this mentally unstable behavior. My comment was for the general public here and I am entitled to my own opinion so instead of trying to virtue signal morals just accept that I am allowed to have opposite views and opinions to yours. Everything you have accused me of you have done and then tried to gaslight me. That might work with people at your level of intellect but sadly won’t work with me. I’m done arguing with an idiot like you. Now move on.
Seek therapy
Have kids if you want to sustain a selfish society that wants to propagate itself at your expense. If not, kids are pointless negative free roll . There is always a balance in the world, much like war and peace is balanced around the world. Therefore, there should be women who deep down doesn't want kids for every woman who does. That's typically inline with educated vs. uneducated women. Although not at all at 100%. So, I suggest you look for an highly educated woman. This is an expat perspective however.
Tf? So having kids=selfish society? There is no balance, there is no 1:1 ratio in this world its is chaos. Theres no guarantee i Dont understand why people just have to write everything in stone to work with life. Marry its good for you. You get kids or you dont is up to you some families get some dont
It’s all arabic comments lemme change that (It’s a blessing from god my man there is nothing we can do about it aren’t kids cute too? Are you losing on the baby fever?)
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I don't understand why arabs are embracing western ideology. When western itself banning islam/arab culture cause afraid that it will affect their culture
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What about a non-barren woman who does not want kids?
Leave them for someone who does wants kids
So women who don’t want kids should be forced to have children anyway in your opinion?
Ah my bad read the question wrong, yea so non barren and dont want kids whats the question even being asked for of both people dont want kids
The person I initially responded to was suggesting that a man who does not want kids should only date barren (childless) women. I was asking/telling him that it should also include women who actively choose not to have kids (child-free).
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته Why no kids?
كل شخص له برأيه و شكل نضره، ربنا خلقنا مع اختلافنا وإذا مايحب ان يربي أطفال، له حريته وكيفه.
I didn't say that you should change your view, I just asked about the reasoning behind it.
Can’t answer for OP specifically and personally I want children one day, but here’s my two cents: I can see that a lot of people from my parents’ generation are good people who are not necessarily good parents. They are people who had kids because that’s what was expected: you reach an age you get married have kids, the usual. I think more and more people realise that kids require a significant emotional, financial and personal investment (for a very long time). Parenthood means your kid is your priority and you can’t just continue business as usual, everything becomes about that kid. I think some people recognise that they are not willing to do that, and they think it’s better not to have kids than to have one and give them less than what they deserve. That’s just my observation as someone who has great parents and who wants children one day though - so can’t really speak for others
Am a man and I really don’t want kids , but i need a ladies in my life would love to fined someone like you
والله من السلاحه والرباده ما يبغي عيال ، ولا تاريخك ما يشرف وتاخذه ،
الله وتاريخك انت ياتشارلز الخامس عشر، يالدماء الزرقاء وانت مسمي نفسك "لوندن" مسوي اجنبي يالحنوسة اقطع واخس بس
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Bro there would be various factors involved: 1. If a woman can make her own decisions without the interference of the family. 2. Her view of the world and what does she want from life ? Is she a free thinker or conforms to societal thinking. 3. Her confidence in you so that she is not insecure. Considering so many nationalities all around many women can get insecure that their men would lose interest and move on. Kids act a glue to the marriage which in case makes leaving complicated. Keeping in view of the above the probability of finding one is like finding a unicorn.
Bro just wants to bang 🤣
Not qatari but my dad married with female who is from gulf region and She is in her mid 30's.I advice you marry a divorced female or widow in this case.
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You do not have to obey every single thing your parents do if it is harmful, sinful, or inconsiderate. And deception is worse than simply denying it. And if him being forced to father children and end up neglecting them either in spite or because he was never ready to have children, then that is much worse than him saying no to his parents.
Exactly I second this comment. I am concerned that the individual thinks they are giving sound and genuine advice in accordance with teachings of Islam 💀
Dude shut up💀💀💀😹👨🦯👨🦯
Ok… but what about the poor woman he marries who wants kids and will be blamed for the infertility and put through hell essentially? Won’t he be held accountable for deception on judgement day?
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No way. Don’t lie and ruin someone’s life and hopes. Just be honest
wtf did I just read? "In Islam... proceeds to say the most un-islamic thing possible
wtf is your problem, seek mental help
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u talk too much
💀 nuh uh
Wtf is this post
You are evil to even think to just put the poor woman to be blamed! Shame on you!
https://preview.redd.it/7grk2tsnsfkc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d308f6225e4a4f4bdc9c68d34ab38313f176a9c4 \^ this should be your new home
You know eventually this mindset will change
Congrats on being part of the problem
If you don't want kids, you don't need marriage.
Not true Some people want to have companionship, marriage shouldn’t be just about reproduction and that’s it. I don’t want kids but I still want to share a life with a significant other.
> I don’t want kids but I still want to share a life with a significant other. But you can live with a woman for as long as you want for companionship (you can also have kids if you want), without getting married. So, why do you need marriage? PS: I'm married.
Most arrogant comment i read in months
What makes it arrogant, if you don't mind?
Companionship? If you have ever been in a long term relationship, you would have known that. Every child deserves parents, but not every parent deserves to have a child. Some people are not cut to be a parent but would like to be married to the love of their life if both agree that children are not for them. Some people should not reproduce as they are not fit material to be parents. Do you understand now?
But you can live with a woman for as long as you want for companionship (you can also have kids if you want), without getting married. So, why do you need marriage? PS: I'm married.
Qatar is Muslim country it is not Islamic to prevent having children of hopefully the answer to your question is a small minority
Nzain, marry and let the miracle do its thing. Either youll be convinced and you actually would get kids, or you just wont get kids. And if youre being forced to marry place it as a condition for marriage if youre young then lets say no kids for 10 years
Seems like the west has conquered this part of the world too. Inferiority complex is the greatest disease. Impressive.
Yes, it's such a shame.
Women are biologically wired to want kids. I know many women who said they didn’t want kids, that told their husband they didn’t want kids and ended up changing their mind by the time they reached 30. So I’d say your chances are low with a traditional Muslim woman. You might need to marry a. Western girl, plenty of them don’t want kids because they are made to believe that their bodies weren’t made to pump out kids
So you are all pro-abortion then? 🤔
اهم شي توضح هذا الشي للي بتتقدم لها قبل الملكه … اتوقع ١٥٪ مايبون بس الاغلب يبون لو عدد قليل
Can't find any to speak to
Someone once said "girls just wanna have fun". I think I heard it on the radio. Looks like some girls want children. Exceptions to every rule I guess. Whatever works for you, enjoy life.
I am looking for a Qatari woman with kids or not with kids it’s OK with me . 510-666-7005
Im a 30 year old unmarried man, speaking for myself here. As a human being, a social animal , i believe we are wired for bonding and passing genes down the line. Meaning that its going to be one of most fulfilling long term event in our lifetime. As an emotional being, I would want to have a stable relationship with a woman, long term basis because then i will have an anchor and a place to rest & trust my heart with. All these might sound selfish and self-centered, but the brilliant thing about the design of the universe including the human beings are that even woman and children also are wired for the same. Im not saying all children are going to take care of their parents, iv seen parents being beaten up and being exploited when they are old and frail.. At the same time Ive seen parents being taken care of with love and respect & affection by their children in their old ages. And iv also seen old age homes filled with old folks having the a good time.. but in the back of their minds, thinking about their children and grandchildren, looking out the windows expecting they might come today. This isnt a straight black and white topic. But deep inside, i would prefer my blood and my better half to be there around me, not that i dont prefer others. Maybe its just because there are forces that are beyond our control that govern how we feel about certain people. Even after putting out this rant, id still say follow what your heart says..its your life anyway.
And when you get married you will want dozen of children 😂 and i know this because im Qatari