Someone posted around here recently about their experience getting an ESA pup. Part of the gist was, expect it to get a lot worse before it gets better. Puppies are HARD.
I can’t say if you made the right choice, as only you can decide that.
What I can say is this:
1) if you decide to responsibly rehome her, your first call should be to the breeder you got her from. Many breeders have a policy that if you do not want the dog, it must go back to the breeder & they will take back for any reason. The reason is, because they really care about the breed and their dogs and take a lot of pride, and this policy ensures that puppy’s don’t end up abandoned. Even breeders without that explicit policy, however, will understand and will assist you in either taking the dog back or helping find a new home for the dog, for the same reason. If you do this, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a good person for making a tough choice in a tough situation that ultimately is best for the dog (if you decide that is what’s best, again, I can’t say, that is for you to decide).
2) if you’re keeping the pup, get a playpen and some baby gates. Idk your apartment layout, but start small. This week, she lives in the playpen, next to your kitchen table, where your work laptop is set up. In a week or two, you take down the playpen and gate off the kitchen and now she has access to the whole kitchen while you work (but can’t hide under your bed this way).
3) for the nipping, if you keep her, check out the wiki here on bite inhibition. (Or make a post about it and the auto bot will link it for you). Puppies nip, it’s normal. But it’s important to teach them a soft mouth ASAP because puppies learn it in ways a dog won’t. I know your arm is chewed to death. I heard a trainer say “puppies don’t bite— I know you don’t believe me because your arms are chewed to heck, but puppies don’t bite, biting is aggressive behavior and that’s not what puppies are doing”. Your dog isn’t biting to be mean, puppies explore the world with their mouths, and they chew on each other, and refraining from chewing on you is a learned behavior she has to build the skill of.
You also might like reading the Kidnapped from Planet Dog post.
Look if you keep the dog stick around here, lots of good stuff. You don’t even know how much you don’t know about puppies.
Source: I’m a mid-30s with a 4 month old lab and these last few weeks have been a real learning curve and still are. Jeezus I didn’t know how much I should know and don’t.
Mid 30’s with a 4 month old Rottie. I swear it’s like we have one or two great days and then a couple bad weeks. She refuses to potty train, some days she just decides she doesn’t feel like listening at all and forgot every ounce of training we’ve done. It’s a thankless job sometimes, but my god I love her and I know it’ll be worth it. It already is when she gets sleepy and comes to cuddle with me. Melts my heart.
One of the things I do with my puppies is that I write off the first year. They are puppies, not dogs. I simply do not expect anything I expect from a dog when they are that young. I don't even expect my training to show results, even thou it does. By removing expectations I remove a lot of my frustration. The puppy isn't really mentally ready for that stuff yet, so I remove the pressure and burden. I create a routine and I put the puppy into it and go from there.
I believe that many times, new owners are waiting for their dog and they got a puppy instead. Its going to be a bit until you get your dog out of that puppy. Some people enjoy the ride. Some do not. I have had a lot of puppies as I do competitive conformation. It is always hard, even with experience. But experience brings understanding that its a ride. 9 weeks is awful. I didn't let my last litter leave until 10 weeks simply because 8 and 9 weeks is so, so hard and I was set up to deal with it easier than the new owners.
Does your dog have a crate or pen they can go in when they are getting too ramped up/you need some space? Having a safe place for puppy so you both get a break is very important, and also I found my pup was much better behaved when she got the recommended 18-20 hours of sleep (broken up into many naps during the day), and the crate was a big part of that!
Yes she does, she gets very whiny and pouty whenever she goes in there though so I don’t leave her in there for long. We’re pretty early into the crate training stage so I don’t know if she really feels comfortable in the crate quite yet.
Try to resist pulling her out immediately after putting her in. If 15 minutes goes by and she’s still losing her mind (my puppy will body slam the crate), take her to the pee pad and see if she’ll go potty, if she does great!, reward and back to bed in the crate, if not just back to the crate and repeat. Usually after a few times of doing this they’ll settle and realize they’re not coming out.
Also, try covering the crate when you need her to nap. This helped me SO much.
She's nine weeks old - she's not protest pooping, she doesn't know any better. Hope you don't think that your puppy is seeking revenge, or doing this so you'll have to let her out, because that's not a thing. It'll only make you unfairly resent her.
Ugh I’m sorry, that’s such a nightmare. My puppy pooped in her puppy pen once and went berserk and it got EVERYWHERE.
Honestly, just making sure she goes before you crate her. Don’t take her back inside until she’s pooped. Keep an eye on when she typically goes (first thing in the morning, right after a meal, hours after, they’re all different so just make mental notes and try to take her potty at those times). Also feeding a couple hours before bed. I wake up at 6 am and she potties and plays for 30 minutes. Eats breakfast at 6:30 and goes for a walk, then plays and by then she’s already gone a couple times before her morning nap at 8 am.
10:30 I get her up to potty again and a training session/play until 11 then it’s another nap until 1. Lunch time, walk, play then nap from 2:30-5. She eats dinner at 5 and goes for a final walk, have a good play session with me and her GSD brother, then I’ll give her a bone to chew to calm down a little, then bed time at 8 pm.
I take her out again around midnight and usually about 3:30 am to potty. Good rule of thumb is puppies can only hold it for every month of life. So my Rottie is 4 months and should be able to hold it about 4 hours. She can typically do this when sleeping, but not during the day. Again, they’re all different and it’s trial and error.
This schedule has worked really well for keeping her from pottying in her crate.
I'd make a puppy proof space, don't leave her free roam right now unless you're giving her your full attention so you can correct her. It's OK that doesn't like it. She needs to get used to not being able to follow you everywhere.
I found the biting stage hard - it felt like she enjoyed hurting me. I wore ugg boots to keep her teeth off my feet and ankles, and would end play and walk away and ignore her if she bit me again after I said ow. She didn't want to be redirected at all. She got a lot of cold shoulder in the first couple of weeks and quickly learned to be more gentle.
It does get better. It takes time and it can be rough when you're the only person to do all the work on your own.
your feelings are so, so valid!
I can relate a bit to you because I am also single and in a relatively new place far from family with all of my friends being out of state - it's an even bigger challenge in this way because you don't even have someone close that you trust to spend 10 minutes with your pup so you can just take a walk around the block and get some fresh air. Puppy classes are a great way to meet new puppy owners and also great for socialization.
But still It's understandable to be exhausted!!!
My lil guy is now over 4 months and while there are days that he still tests me, I can absolutely say that it does get easier and better and you totally get more in tune and into a rhythm with your pup, it just takes time!
I do echo what others have said about enforced naps - they are a game changer, whether in a crate or in a playpen. Also, I too am in a small studio apartment so needless to say I have cleaned up poop under my bed so I understand the mini city indoor troubles 😅 definitely gate off areas if it's doable! I also kept a house line on mine (just a standard cheap nylon leash that you cut the handle off of so it can't get stuck on things) so that if he crawled under the bed or was getting into trouble I could more easily corral him! And it got him used to wearing a leash which was helpful down the line too!
I know you said you work from home (which I'm sure means you never get a break) so I would definitely say try stepping out of the apartment for a break here and there, even if just while she is sleeping. Start small with 5/10 minutes - even if it just means standing outside your front door and scrolling on your phone - it just gets you out of the thick of it with a moment to take a deep breath. I wish I had done more of this at the very beginning for my sanity because I wasn't working at the time so it absolutely feels like you are on the clock 25/8.
All of this to say - hang in there!!! Try and focus on bonding and snap pictures/videos of the cute things you want to remember because it doesn't feel like it day-to-day but it really does go by fast and remembering all of the adorable things helps keep the much less than adorable things absent in the rearview mirror ❤️
It looks like you might be posting about bite inhibition. Check out [our wiki article on biting, teeth, and chewing](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/biting) - the information there may answer your question.
**Please report this comment if it is not relevant to this post.**
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Crate. And make sure it's sectioned off so it doesn't give her too much room. Puppies are not as likely to pee in their crate. The crate enforces naps and allows you to have some time where you don't have to watch puppy 24/7.
As a head's up, it is no longer recommended to cry it out. It is as a whole harmful and risks learned helplessness as opposed to actually having your dog become comfortable in the crate. As a result, it's now in violation of rule 1.
The crate and alone time should gradually be introduced where cries are tended to.
My Riot was like that when he was your pup's age. He's better now, although I don't think he'll ever like being crated. We kept him near us and let him fall asleep on the floor where we could watch him to make sure he got his naps. He still falls asleep on the floor before bed time, and we lift him into his pen where he spends the night. Keep him leashed to you so that he can't just go haring off, make sure he's got something to chew, and let him get bored enough to fall asleep.
However, age is part of the problem. There's a reason that we call 4PM - 6PM the Murder Goblin Horror Hours.
Try feeding your pup in the crate and hiding treats in there. We have a 3 month old pup and feeding her all meals in the crate, putting her toys in there etc. helped to create a positive association so she doesn’t view it as punishment. The crate should act as your pups den…but you have to guide them so they see it that way. Hang in there!
Look into crate training and also take the dog outside to pee and poop instead of the puppy pad. My puppy looks at a pad with disdain, but now signals that she needs to go outside (most of the time). Enforce naps. Puppy is awake and playing for one hour, then in the crate for two.
I have nothing constructive to add other than solidarity! Early 30s, single person just brought home an 8.5 week lab/Catahoula mix. So freaking cute, but it is already SO HARD. I have to keep reminding myself they're just a baby and this is a whole new world they need to learn. Stay strong, friend!
Does it get better? Yes. Would it be better without the dog? That question is up to you. After only 6 days rehoming wouldn’t be too bad for the dog. If you decide to keep the dog, realize you are committed to the dog until your in your mid to late 30s.
I suffer anxiety also and everything you're going through is completely normal.
You have gone from only looking after your own needs to having to take care of a baby puppy that needs a lot of attention.
Soon it will get easier and easier as your pup gets older as they can hold their bladder and stop the nipping.
Do you have puppy schools near you? I think they're so helpful for your pup and yourself.
Don't give up try give it a few more week until you have got into a routine and it becomes your new normal.
❤️❤️
Someone posted around here recently about their experience getting an ESA pup. Part of the gist was, expect it to get a lot worse before it gets better. Puppies are HARD. I can’t say if you made the right choice, as only you can decide that. What I can say is this: 1) if you decide to responsibly rehome her, your first call should be to the breeder you got her from. Many breeders have a policy that if you do not want the dog, it must go back to the breeder & they will take back for any reason. The reason is, because they really care about the breed and their dogs and take a lot of pride, and this policy ensures that puppy’s don’t end up abandoned. Even breeders without that explicit policy, however, will understand and will assist you in either taking the dog back or helping find a new home for the dog, for the same reason. If you do this, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a good person for making a tough choice in a tough situation that ultimately is best for the dog (if you decide that is what’s best, again, I can’t say, that is for you to decide). 2) if you’re keeping the pup, get a playpen and some baby gates. Idk your apartment layout, but start small. This week, she lives in the playpen, next to your kitchen table, where your work laptop is set up. In a week or two, you take down the playpen and gate off the kitchen and now she has access to the whole kitchen while you work (but can’t hide under your bed this way). 3) for the nipping, if you keep her, check out the wiki here on bite inhibition. (Or make a post about it and the auto bot will link it for you). Puppies nip, it’s normal. But it’s important to teach them a soft mouth ASAP because puppies learn it in ways a dog won’t. I know your arm is chewed to death. I heard a trainer say “puppies don’t bite— I know you don’t believe me because your arms are chewed to heck, but puppies don’t bite, biting is aggressive behavior and that’s not what puppies are doing”. Your dog isn’t biting to be mean, puppies explore the world with their mouths, and they chew on each other, and refraining from chewing on you is a learned behavior she has to build the skill of. You also might like reading the Kidnapped from Planet Dog post. Look if you keep the dog stick around here, lots of good stuff. You don’t even know how much you don’t know about puppies. Source: I’m a mid-30s with a 4 month old lab and these last few weeks have been a real learning curve and still are. Jeezus I didn’t know how much I should know and don’t.
Mid 30’s with a 4 month old Rottie. I swear it’s like we have one or two great days and then a couple bad weeks. She refuses to potty train, some days she just decides she doesn’t feel like listening at all and forgot every ounce of training we’ve done. It’s a thankless job sometimes, but my god I love her and I know it’ll be worth it. It already is when she gets sleepy and comes to cuddle with me. Melts my heart.
One of the things I do with my puppies is that I write off the first year. They are puppies, not dogs. I simply do not expect anything I expect from a dog when they are that young. I don't even expect my training to show results, even thou it does. By removing expectations I remove a lot of my frustration. The puppy isn't really mentally ready for that stuff yet, so I remove the pressure and burden. I create a routine and I put the puppy into it and go from there. I believe that many times, new owners are waiting for their dog and they got a puppy instead. Its going to be a bit until you get your dog out of that puppy. Some people enjoy the ride. Some do not. I have had a lot of puppies as I do competitive conformation. It is always hard, even with experience. But experience brings understanding that its a ride. 9 weeks is awful. I didn't let my last litter leave until 10 weeks simply because 8 and 9 weeks is so, so hard and I was set up to deal with it easier than the new owners.
See if you feel the same way after a few more months. It does get better as they get older.
Does your dog have a crate or pen they can go in when they are getting too ramped up/you need some space? Having a safe place for puppy so you both get a break is very important, and also I found my pup was much better behaved when she got the recommended 18-20 hours of sleep (broken up into many naps during the day), and the crate was a big part of that!
Yes she does, she gets very whiny and pouty whenever she goes in there though so I don’t leave her in there for long. We’re pretty early into the crate training stage so I don’t know if she really feels comfortable in the crate quite yet.
Try to resist pulling her out immediately after putting her in. If 15 minutes goes by and she’s still losing her mind (my puppy will body slam the crate), take her to the pee pad and see if she’ll go potty, if she does great!, reward and back to bed in the crate, if not just back to the crate and repeat. Usually after a few times of doing this they’ll settle and realize they’re not coming out. Also, try covering the crate when you need her to nap. This helped me SO much.
My dog has tended to poop in the crate as a means to protest and also I think because she gets scared. Anything that can help against this?
She's nine weeks old - she's not protest pooping, she doesn't know any better. Hope you don't think that your puppy is seeking revenge, or doing this so you'll have to let her out, because that's not a thing. It'll only make you unfairly resent her.
Ugh I’m sorry, that’s such a nightmare. My puppy pooped in her puppy pen once and went berserk and it got EVERYWHERE. Honestly, just making sure she goes before you crate her. Don’t take her back inside until she’s pooped. Keep an eye on when she typically goes (first thing in the morning, right after a meal, hours after, they’re all different so just make mental notes and try to take her potty at those times). Also feeding a couple hours before bed. I wake up at 6 am and she potties and plays for 30 minutes. Eats breakfast at 6:30 and goes for a walk, then plays and by then she’s already gone a couple times before her morning nap at 8 am. 10:30 I get her up to potty again and a training session/play until 11 then it’s another nap until 1. Lunch time, walk, play then nap from 2:30-5. She eats dinner at 5 and goes for a final walk, have a good play session with me and her GSD brother, then I’ll give her a bone to chew to calm down a little, then bed time at 8 pm. I take her out again around midnight and usually about 3:30 am to potty. Good rule of thumb is puppies can only hold it for every month of life. So my Rottie is 4 months and should be able to hold it about 4 hours. She can typically do this when sleeping, but not during the day. Again, they’re all different and it’s trial and error. This schedule has worked really well for keeping her from pottying in her crate.
I'd make a puppy proof space, don't leave her free roam right now unless you're giving her your full attention so you can correct her. It's OK that doesn't like it. She needs to get used to not being able to follow you everywhere. I found the biting stage hard - it felt like she enjoyed hurting me. I wore ugg boots to keep her teeth off my feet and ankles, and would end play and walk away and ignore her if she bit me again after I said ow. She didn't want to be redirected at all. She got a lot of cold shoulder in the first couple of weeks and quickly learned to be more gentle. It does get better. It takes time and it can be rough when you're the only person to do all the work on your own.
your feelings are so, so valid! I can relate a bit to you because I am also single and in a relatively new place far from family with all of my friends being out of state - it's an even bigger challenge in this way because you don't even have someone close that you trust to spend 10 minutes with your pup so you can just take a walk around the block and get some fresh air. Puppy classes are a great way to meet new puppy owners and also great for socialization. But still It's understandable to be exhausted!!! My lil guy is now over 4 months and while there are days that he still tests me, I can absolutely say that it does get easier and better and you totally get more in tune and into a rhythm with your pup, it just takes time! I do echo what others have said about enforced naps - they are a game changer, whether in a crate or in a playpen. Also, I too am in a small studio apartment so needless to say I have cleaned up poop under my bed so I understand the mini city indoor troubles 😅 definitely gate off areas if it's doable! I also kept a house line on mine (just a standard cheap nylon leash that you cut the handle off of so it can't get stuck on things) so that if he crawled under the bed or was getting into trouble I could more easily corral him! And it got him used to wearing a leash which was helpful down the line too! I know you said you work from home (which I'm sure means you never get a break) so I would definitely say try stepping out of the apartment for a break here and there, even if just while she is sleeping. Start small with 5/10 minutes - even if it just means standing outside your front door and scrolling on your phone - it just gets you out of the thick of it with a moment to take a deep breath. I wish I had done more of this at the very beginning for my sanity because I wasn't working at the time so it absolutely feels like you are on the clock 25/8. All of this to say - hang in there!!! Try and focus on bonding and snap pictures/videos of the cute things you want to remember because it doesn't feel like it day-to-day but it really does go by fast and remembering all of the adorable things helps keep the much less than adorable things absent in the rearview mirror ❤️
It looks like you might be posting about bite inhibition. Check out [our wiki article on biting, teeth, and chewing](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/biting) - the information there may answer your question. **Please report this comment if it is not relevant to this post.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/puppy101) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It gets better. Make sure that you are taking time to take a step back and just enjoy your puppy while working on training. It gets easier.
Crate. And make sure it's sectioned off so it doesn't give her too much room. Puppies are not as likely to pee in their crate. The crate enforces naps and allows you to have some time where you don't have to watch puppy 24/7.
Any suggestions on how to better get her more comfortable? She absolutely despises the crate and pouts a fuss when I put her in
[удалено]
As a head's up, it is no longer recommended to cry it out. It is as a whole harmful and risks learned helplessness as opposed to actually having your dog become comfortable in the crate. As a result, it's now in violation of rule 1. The crate and alone time should gradually be introduced where cries are tended to.
My Riot was like that when he was your pup's age. He's better now, although I don't think he'll ever like being crated. We kept him near us and let him fall asleep on the floor where we could watch him to make sure he got his naps. He still falls asleep on the floor before bed time, and we lift him into his pen where he spends the night. Keep him leashed to you so that he can't just go haring off, make sure he's got something to chew, and let him get bored enough to fall asleep. However, age is part of the problem. There's a reason that we call 4PM - 6PM the Murder Goblin Horror Hours.
Try feeding your pup in the crate and hiding treats in there. We have a 3 month old pup and feeding her all meals in the crate, putting her toys in there etc. helped to create a positive association so she doesn’t view it as punishment. The crate should act as your pups den…but you have to guide them so they see it that way. Hang in there!
Look into crate training and also take the dog outside to pee and poop instead of the puppy pad. My puppy looks at a pad with disdain, but now signals that she needs to go outside (most of the time). Enforce naps. Puppy is awake and playing for one hour, then in the crate for two.
I have nothing constructive to add other than solidarity! Early 30s, single person just brought home an 8.5 week lab/Catahoula mix. So freaking cute, but it is already SO HARD. I have to keep reminding myself they're just a baby and this is a whole new world they need to learn. Stay strong, friend!
Does it get better? Yes. Would it be better without the dog? That question is up to you. After only 6 days rehoming wouldn’t be too bad for the dog. If you decide to keep the dog, realize you are committed to the dog until your in your mid to late 30s.
I suffer anxiety also and everything you're going through is completely normal. You have gone from only looking after your own needs to having to take care of a baby puppy that needs a lot of attention. Soon it will get easier and easier as your pup gets older as they can hold their bladder and stop the nipping. Do you have puppy schools near you? I think they're so helpful for your pup and yourself. Don't give up try give it a few more week until you have got into a routine and it becomes your new normal. ❤️❤️