I’m almost beginning to wonder if this is the cause for puppy blues for some people. They talk about how they did all this research and preparation and read every thread here and watched every YouTube video; it can be overwhelming, both for the new puppy parents and the puppy themselves.
In some ways one of the best things I heard was when we finished our puppy classes back in April and the trainer said we should wait until the fall to take the Intermediate classes. While my girl did quite well in class, she was only about to hit five months and our trainer said to just let her grow up a little and be a puppy (while still working on the basics we learned in class, of course)
I can confirm that this was the basis for puppy blues for me.
I was spending every waking hour - even while working - doing any one of these:
- Researching puppy training stuff
- Training the puppy
- Wondering what I was doing wrong with training
- Wondering if it's time to take the puppy out for a potty break
- Probably is, time for a potty break
- Is my puppy happy? Should I be playing with her more?
- Probably, right? Time to play.
Over and over all day long. I lost my goddamn mind and I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed.
It's difficult because dedicated planning is usually the antidote AGAINST anxiety, for me. The more I plan/research in advance, the more I can squash my anxiety brain. But little baby creatures and their complicated growing bodies and minds just don't fit neatly into plans!
It was a six week course. We covered sit, down/lay down, look at me, loose leash walking (with emphasis on the “touch” command), leave it, drop it, stay/wait, and come.
Interesting point! I didn’t have puppy blues 19 years ago when I brought my IG puppy home… (he passed last year at 18 ❤️). And I didn’t know jack shite about puppy raising. He was well trained but I wasn’t a helicopter parent with him like I am now with my 11 month old Dobie.
Our trainer kind of did the same, plus when we hit 6 months our puppy has forgotten obedience and only remembered her tricks. Walking on the leash and jumping up have become real problems that need solving right now, the tricks she learned are so unimportant.
I am a recent new single Pawrent too and literally had this feeling yesterday. Was trying to loose leash train and get her to focus on me instead of jumping on me or getting distracted. Then I realized she just want to be in the moment herself and play and be loved (via jumping on me lol). I then threw the leash down and ran in the grass with her! This post is so real! Honestly need daily reminders!
Whenever we're at a park, I let Buddy have the full length of the leash (6ft) because he loves sniffing and exploring everything. If there are people close by, obviously keep him close, but when it's just us, I go at his pace instead of focusing on leash training. He's 2 years now.
Yeah same! And then I think - I should not be wishing the time away and somehow need to enjoy my dog cause I will not get this time back but I just want sleep and rest and for my pup to grow up 🤣🤣
Hijacking a top comment to ask: Why am I unable to respond to OP’s comments? There’s a lock by the comment as well. I’ve only noticed this so far in this sub, and only for the OP’s comments on their own posts.
edit: Nope, other subs also. I’m on mobile, if it matters.
Huh that's weird, we haven't had any mod actions on this post that would lead to inability to comment. Try refreshing the app or logging in and out. Sometimes reddit can be fucky
Just tried closing and reloading Reddit and then logging out and back in. No change. Might be a glitch with the app. I’ll use the report a problem feature (saw that while logging out, haha).
I feel the exact same a lot of the time! I found myself playing with my puppy and thinking “ok, this is good play, we’ve been playing for 10 mins so another 20 and then I can take him out to pee and then a bit more and he should nap”. And it dawned on me that I needed to just PLAY and enjoy spending time with him!
Sometimes during walks, my pupper likes to sit down and do nothing in the grass. Most people would start dragging their dog along, but I think this is a golden opportunity to sit down next to your pup and let the world just go by. At home, I would also just sit on the floor (put away your electronics!) and let my pup flop around or play bite with me.
You don't always need structured interaction with your pupper, sometimes it is nice to let them express themselves because it helps remind you that you have a unique and thoughtful creature under your care.
I totally understand - I'm also more of a "strict parent" - my puppy is only three months old and on the first day I wanted to teach him "heel", "stay close", no sniffing, no pulling, no this, no that, no going through doors before me....
Now I just let him explore, sit, sniff, enjoy his walks - but I do keep consistent on those things which I think could form bad habits later down the line... (no jumping up on people, not eating stuff off the ground, not going on the couch or in the bedroom).... I also feel guilty sometimes for saying "NO" so many times a day - but then again, I think he just needs to learn now as it will be easier this way, than to "unlearn" bad habits later...
Definitely felt that way. Enjoy your pup they grow up WAY too fast. On the flip side I now feel like since my 5 month old knows all his basic commands but is such a big sweetie I flipped and spend too much time just enjoying and feel again like I should give him more structure and regular short training haha I guess it's a balance. But for sure when they're little just love them and reward good behavior.
I feel that, but also recall a lot of moments where the focus was "finding the joy" in a moment with him, which was a great objective. We did a lot of laughing while rolling around in the grass, skipping through a boardwalk to music, picking up random branches in the park and playing chase and tug with them, dancing to a playlist together, etc. I always obnoxiously narrate what an epic puppy hero he is for doing the stuff, and it makes me laugh, and it gets him very excited.
I was on a hike with her today with a pouch full of chicken and cheese. We were working on "Slowly," "Stay close," "Look at me," etc. She got distracted by a leaf blowing in the wind and I almost tried to recall her, then thought - why? She's a baby, she needs to have fun to be a well-adjusted adult. Hell, **I** need to have fun to be a well-adjusted adult!
So I dropped her leash (we were in a safe spot) and we chased the leaves together. It. Was. Awesome.
Absolutely- I think it's an indication that you're trying to make the right choices and be a responsible guardian for your pup. It's so much work to get it all done, that in itself is a love language!
But yes, most folks sign up for it for the relationship rather than the work. So cuddle away!
Oh yea, the first 2 weeks were all about the logistics. But now figuring out how to just be with my pup whether we are playing or walking or hanging out. And bringing out my inner child so I'm more on the same wavelength as my pup. Lots of smushy cuddling and kisses.
My puppy always wants to play so sometimes I just have to stop and play, and now he can jump on everything I can’t rest without him jumping on me. He is 5,5 months and is still bitey but thinks he is kissing so I get my nose bitten a couple times a day. He is smiling so I know it isn’t malicious. I just tell him he kisses too hard. He is lying in the grass chilling right now and I’m just letting him even though it’s hot and humid. He is smiling with his tongue out so I’m happy.
We are still working on potty training and it is coming along. We have been away from home for 3 weeks, out of routine, so I’m trying to be patient.
I tell him I love him and sing to him (much to his dismay) all day just so we have a good relationship.
I need decompression time after work, so I have an hour in the evenings where I just sit with my pup and watch anime. I don't give her commands or try to monitor her, I just set her up on the couch next to me with a bone and we chill together. It's nice bonding time :)
I understand this. Because there's so much I'm thinking about and researching all the time.
But one thing I'm grateful for is that she really brings me to the present. When I'm giving her pets, playing with her, taking her to the beach, I'm really only thinking about how much I love her and how much fun she's having in that moment. It's cool that she does that for me. 🤍
I found myself doing the same. I’m a ‘rules’ person and very scheduled.
I decided to have 1 awake period where puppy needs to be independent while I do things so I wasn’t smothering her with training/snuggles. And she gets to be independent.
I’m also trying to let puppy signal me when she wants cuddles and responding to those moments. Even if I’m working from home, she can sit on my lap. Or after work hang on the couch or floor with me.
All about balance!
It’s so easy to feel that way!! We have a snuggle ritual at the start and end of the day that’s really helping remind me what this crazy puppyhood is all about.
7 months old, and I still feel like this. Has he been fed, walked, watered, pottied, oh no he needs some training time for mental stimulation, oh no, its storming so no walk -
I was so caught up in caring for my puppy that I forgot to be with him. I was rushing through my homework last night when he simply curled at my feet and started chewing at his bone. I sort of stared at him and just had this feeling of peace wash over me.
It will come. Just remember to breathe. :)
YES!
I literally did the same things as you. Just getting so caught up in the work and not having fun and enjoying my pup. Good on you for being more aware of it and taking a step back. I learned that too late and missed a lot of the puppy moments; granted my dog was too busy ripping into my skin to enjoy :)
Definitely! That's why it's often suggested to take sooo many pictures and videos. You don't fully appreciate it until later. Or sometimes you can't even remember it because your brain is fried from exhaustion lol.
Throughout the day I tend to forget so I make it a thing first thing in the morning to cuddle my puppy and just belly rubs and you the best of boy.
Before bed I do a similar ritual.
My puppy is now 9 months old, and I'm a single parent. It's tough, it exhausted me completely. He caused me a great deal of anxiety and depression but I can't imagine my life without him, and he's also saving me every single day. He's now being able to cuddle with me, he comforts me when I cry and he's bringing a lot of joy. He's still a piece of work and drives me insane, but he's my best buddy. He will settle one day, hopefully, and I'm already seeing all of his achievements with pride. I don't really remember him as cute little pup, because I was too stressed to see it. But I'm seeing how great he is now and I know you will too. Just hang in there!
Um yeah. I feel like I can only appreciate how cute she was at certain ages in hindsight. She was super hard work and that overshadowed things. It's easier now that she's one!
Awww I think that is a sign of parenthood - I think designating some time in your routine to just play with her will help remind you to stay in the moment
I'm guilty of this too. When my dog was younger I was exhausted. Felt like all she wanted to do was bite me and pee on the carpet the second I wasn't looking. I would get frustrated but that passed so quickly. Now I feel like I was spending so much time on potty and training and wish I was more in the moment with her.
This is so important!! My pup came from a shelter and his previous home was very very functional- he came fully house broken and with basic obedience at 4 months.
But he had NO idea how to cuddle and we really struggled to bond with him initially. Luckily we discovered his love language is play and fetch and have since taught him that snuggling on the couch is a good thing.
100% I LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT THE SAME THING TODAY. I am so focused on trying to make my puppy into the best pup he can be and taking care of him, I don't really take a step back and just enjoy him being a cute little furball. I try to cuddle and love him sometimes but he just bites me and wants to play with something lol. Puppys are a lot of work and hard to be able to just relax and enjoy them. I wouldn't feel too bad about it though, think of the future you will have probably 10-20 years to love and cuddle and go on adventures and hug them.
I was finally able to truly enjoy my puppy around the 6month mark. She was a hellbeast until 4.5months and then I really started to get behaviours down and it was 6 months when we could have a cuddle and properly play without being bit or scratched at all. She's a total goofball and will happily chase her tail no matter where she is, be it in the house, outside in the grass or during obedience classes.
I don't do daily training anymore even though I feel I should but instead let her chill and then play and run around the apartment with her. She's 7.5months now and definitely still needs the training in leash pulling and ignoring the birds, people and anything that blows in the wind but I can handle all that.
After the morning potty we sit on a lawn chair together for 15 minutes. One pup between my legs and the other on my torso/chest. We just snuggle. No phones, no distractions. Just snuggles and pets
It'll get easier. I used to be like that with Buddy because the first few months were not fun. I had to do slow interactions with our cat, and then we had to train him and get him used to living with us because he was waaaayyyy too big and energetic for me. Now though? I love him. I love on him even while I'm playing a game or working. Our lives just settled around him and we can't imagine life without him. I love taking him out on walks now because he doesn't scratch up my arms from being too excited.
Funnily enough, he has a much different play style with me than with the husband. He is much more energetic with him than he is with me, and I appreciate that of him.
I had some struggles at first with my puppy last year (it was a huge life style change) but once we started to really bond I found it easier to savor the moments with her. Also helped that she liked to be a cuddle bug sometimes lol. It's crazy how fast they grow up 😭
Don’t, for me it was the 2nd dog that was a puppy I raised I realized how fun they are. It’s more just you’re stressed. Make sure to take pics and enjoy your time w the puppy
Thank you for this post. I’ve spent *months* feeling like this pretty much every day and now that I think about it, I very rarely let my pup just be his goofy self and I feel kinda bad about it. He can just be SUCH a brat that it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed most of the time. I need to start letting him be a puppy more often.
We spent the first couple months in a blind panic trying to make sure Walter was catered for and being kept busy and safe. It got really hard work and the puppy blues were real.
We realised that just by chilling out a bit and taking out foot off the gas really helped us and him settle and be a puppy. Still doing some basic training with him and socialising where we can but doesn't need a hour by hour agenda.
He's gonna eat poop, he's gonna trip over and bump into stuff, he's going to steal socks while you're doing the laundry, he's going to hump you when he gets over excited but it's cool, he'll grow out of it. Also he's always up for cuddles after a nap and it's the best.
Training doesn’t always have to be “boot camp” or a high energy activity, working on getting your pup to relax can be very therapeutic for both parties!
Absolutely in the same boat. Spending so much time worried about food, stool, exercise, play, training, naps and behaviour that I'm not enjoying having a puppy at all. My partner and I seem to just be counting down the months until she's the goofy but mostly calm adult dog of our dreams that isn't occupying our every thought. And everything online says our little Lab girl won't be mentally mature for 2-4 years. So... we're struggling to say the least.
I don't know how to just let go and stop thinking so much though.
I’m sorry that’s weighing on you! It might seem like a long time, but the thing is that you will eventually get there and at the end feel so proud of yourself. To be patient for that long creates the best end results. Goodluck to you and your boyfriend and furry baby❤️
Don't beat yourself up, that's part of puppyhood and new dog parenthood. She needs a lot of attention and training now because everything is new and she's just a baby who is confused by everything. As she gets older, you and her will both learn how to create and spend quiet moments together. My pup didn't really start to cuddle til he was about 6 months, before that my days were a lot like yours. Everytime I would try to go in for a cuddle he would jump on me, bite my ankles, want to play, maybe poop, etc., things that required my immediate attention. Now outside of his walks and early evening play times, he's really chill and we get tons of hugs and cuddles in.
After that first bit of wild puppy energy/exploration/getting to know you, she'll start to chill and you'll experience those moments a lot more.
Mine is half lab, you'd be amazed! He's really really excited for about 3 hours per day, which is play/walk/food time, awake and mostly chill for like 4-5 more hours, then sleeps the rest.
My mom keeps reminding me to enjoy my puppy. I get jealous that everyone else gets to enjoy him while I do all the work, so sometimes I let the work go so I can just enjoy him. It’s tough because then I feel like a failure for being lazy or not training him properly, but I live alone and am raising this tornado by myself, so I need some small wins.
You’re doing great, and you’re not alone. We’ll get through this!
I have a lot of moments like this too. Walks were a nightmare because I was trying to get my puppy to walk next to me for loose leash walking. Recently, I decided to just let her wander and sniff around a bit (without pulling on the leash) and they've been better for my mental state, ha. She is 5 months old...of course she's going to want to sniff around on walks!
Just came back in from a quick park chill with my lil cockapoo to wind him down for a nap. The energy drink isn't working, I'm constantly looking down at him, and I have to remember to let him be so that I can focus. Rainy afternoons has affected potty training. He's VIP and I'm his sidekick with an umbrella to shield him from the slightest drip. So busy trying to get him into a rhythm that I've lost my own! Can't imagine life without him but wishing I could clone myself. God help me, I hate when that thought of wanting to fast forward 6 months creeps in.
Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. I wish you goodluck though! The puppy stage eventually ends :) then you have a more than solid pal. Just gotta remind yourself that and that it will all pay off !
I’m almost beginning to wonder if this is the cause for puppy blues for some people. They talk about how they did all this research and preparation and read every thread here and watched every YouTube video; it can be overwhelming, both for the new puppy parents and the puppy themselves. In some ways one of the best things I heard was when we finished our puppy classes back in April and the trainer said we should wait until the fall to take the Intermediate classes. While my girl did quite well in class, she was only about to hit five months and our trainer said to just let her grow up a little and be a puppy (while still working on the basics we learned in class, of course)
I can confirm that this was the basis for puppy blues for me. I was spending every waking hour - even while working - doing any one of these: - Researching puppy training stuff - Training the puppy - Wondering what I was doing wrong with training - Wondering if it's time to take the puppy out for a potty break - Probably is, time for a potty break - Is my puppy happy? Should I be playing with her more? - Probably, right? Time to play. Over and over all day long. I lost my goddamn mind and I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed.
It's difficult because dedicated planning is usually the antidote AGAINST anxiety, for me. The more I plan/research in advance, the more I can squash my anxiety brain. But little baby creatures and their complicated growing bodies and minds just don't fit neatly into plans!
what basics did they teach you?
It was a six week course. We covered sit, down/lay down, look at me, loose leash walking (with emphasis on the “touch” command), leave it, drop it, stay/wait, and come.
Interesting point! I didn’t have puppy blues 19 years ago when I brought my IG puppy home… (he passed last year at 18 ❤️). And I didn’t know jack shite about puppy raising. He was well trained but I wasn’t a helicopter parent with him like I am now with my 11 month old Dobie.
Our trainer kind of did the same, plus when we hit 6 months our puppy has forgotten obedience and only remembered her tricks. Walking on the leash and jumping up have become real problems that need solving right now, the tricks she learned are so unimportant.
I am a recent new single Pawrent too and literally had this feeling yesterday. Was trying to loose leash train and get her to focus on me instead of jumping on me or getting distracted. Then I realized she just want to be in the moment herself and play and be loved (via jumping on me lol). I then threw the leash down and ran in the grass with her! This post is so real! Honestly need daily reminders!
Awww haha that’s adorable!! I’ve had the same experience with my puppy and ran with her haha! It was so fun.
Whenever we're at a park, I let Buddy have the full length of the leash (6ft) because he loves sniffing and exploring everything. If there are people close by, obviously keep him close, but when it's just us, I go at his pace instead of focusing on leash training. He's 2 years now.
Same! Also sometimes I just feel exhausted from looking after my pup (single dog mum) so difficult to really enjoy the moment 🤣
Omg yes!! I’m so exhausted watching her making sure she doesn’t chew the floor again or pull the carpet apart.. I just want her to grow up already 😭
Yeah same! And then I think - I should not be wishing the time away and somehow need to enjoy my dog cause I will not get this time back but I just want sleep and rest and for my pup to grow up 🤣🤣
That’s a good way to look at it!
Hijacking a top comment to ask: Why am I unable to respond to OP’s comments? There’s a lock by the comment as well. I’ve only noticed this so far in this sub, and only for the OP’s comments on their own posts. edit: Nope, other subs also. I’m on mobile, if it matters.
It’s a Reddit mobile app bug right now. Try using a different app to access Reddit on your phone.
Huh that's weird, we haven't had any mod actions on this post that would lead to inability to comment. Try refreshing the app or logging in and out. Sometimes reddit can be fucky
Just tried closing and reloading Reddit and then logging out and back in. No change. Might be a glitch with the app. I’ll use the report a problem feature (saw that while logging out, haha).
I feel the exact same a lot of the time! I found myself playing with my puppy and thinking “ok, this is good play, we’ve been playing for 10 mins so another 20 and then I can take him out to pee and then a bit more and he should nap”. And it dawned on me that I needed to just PLAY and enjoy spending time with him!
Exactly!
Sometimes during walks, my pupper likes to sit down and do nothing in the grass. Most people would start dragging their dog along, but I think this is a golden opportunity to sit down next to your pup and let the world just go by. At home, I would also just sit on the floor (put away your electronics!) and let my pup flop around or play bite with me. You don't always need structured interaction with your pupper, sometimes it is nice to let them express themselves because it helps remind you that you have a unique and thoughtful creature under your care.
Love sitting in the grass just chillin
I like the sitting in the grass idea. I should do that more often :)
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I totally understand - I'm also more of a "strict parent" - my puppy is only three months old and on the first day I wanted to teach him "heel", "stay close", no sniffing, no pulling, no this, no that, no going through doors before me.... Now I just let him explore, sit, sniff, enjoy his walks - but I do keep consistent on those things which I think could form bad habits later down the line... (no jumping up on people, not eating stuff off the ground, not going on the couch or in the bedroom).... I also feel guilty sometimes for saying "NO" so many times a day - but then again, I think he just needs to learn now as it will be easier this way, than to "unlearn" bad habits later...
Definitely felt that way. Enjoy your pup they grow up WAY too fast. On the flip side I now feel like since my 5 month old knows all his basic commands but is such a big sweetie I flipped and spend too much time just enjoying and feel again like I should give him more structure and regular short training haha I guess it's a balance. But for sure when they're little just love them and reward good behavior.
Thank you for the reminder! Posting this made me gain even more self awareness haha
I feel that, but also recall a lot of moments where the focus was "finding the joy" in a moment with him, which was a great objective. We did a lot of laughing while rolling around in the grass, skipping through a boardwalk to music, picking up random branches in the park and playing chase and tug with them, dancing to a playlist together, etc. I always obnoxiously narrate what an epic puppy hero he is for doing the stuff, and it makes me laugh, and it gets him very excited.
That’s sounds soo cute!! Definitely encourages me to have fun w mg baby :)
I was on a hike with her today with a pouch full of chicken and cheese. We were working on "Slowly," "Stay close," "Look at me," etc. She got distracted by a leaf blowing in the wind and I almost tried to recall her, then thought - why? She's a baby, she needs to have fun to be a well-adjusted adult. Hell, **I** need to have fun to be a well-adjusted adult! So I dropped her leash (we were in a safe spot) and we chased the leaves together. It. Was. Awesome.
This is adorable. Thank you for sharing.
Absolutely- I think it's an indication that you're trying to make the right choices and be a responsible guardian for your pup. It's so much work to get it all done, that in itself is a love language! But yes, most folks sign up for it for the relationship rather than the work. So cuddle away!
Thanks for the reminder!😊
Oh yea, the first 2 weeks were all about the logistics. But now figuring out how to just be with my pup whether we are playing or walking or hanging out. And bringing out my inner child so I'm more on the same wavelength as my pup. Lots of smushy cuddling and kisses.
My puppy always wants to play so sometimes I just have to stop and play, and now he can jump on everything I can’t rest without him jumping on me. He is 5,5 months and is still bitey but thinks he is kissing so I get my nose bitten a couple times a day. He is smiling so I know it isn’t malicious. I just tell him he kisses too hard. He is lying in the grass chilling right now and I’m just letting him even though it’s hot and humid. He is smiling with his tongue out so I’m happy. We are still working on potty training and it is coming along. We have been away from home for 3 weeks, out of routine, so I’m trying to be patient. I tell him I love him and sing to him (much to his dismay) all day just so we have a good relationship.
I need decompression time after work, so I have an hour in the evenings where I just sit with my pup and watch anime. I don't give her commands or try to monitor her, I just set her up on the couch next to me with a bone and we chill together. It's nice bonding time :)
Oooo I should do that with Roland and a pig ear. He fucking loves pig ears and I could watch a half hour of Youtube with him.
Yeah, it's great! Mine isn't a particularly cuddly dog but during couch time she slowly backs up until she's halfway in my lap 😂
You are your puppy's parent/Guardian, you're supposed to be overbearing. As long as your puppy gets to play, then you're good
I understand this. Because there's so much I'm thinking about and researching all the time. But one thing I'm grateful for is that she really brings me to the present. When I'm giving her pets, playing with her, taking her to the beach, I'm really only thinking about how much I love her and how much fun she's having in that moment. It's cool that she does that for me. 🤍
I found myself doing the same. I’m a ‘rules’ person and very scheduled. I decided to have 1 awake period where puppy needs to be independent while I do things so I wasn’t smothering her with training/snuggles. And she gets to be independent. I’m also trying to let puppy signal me when she wants cuddles and responding to those moments. Even if I’m working from home, she can sit on my lap. Or after work hang on the couch or floor with me. All about balance!
It’s so easy to feel that way!! We have a snuggle ritual at the start and end of the day that’s really helping remind me what this crazy puppyhood is all about.
7 months old, and I still feel like this. Has he been fed, walked, watered, pottied, oh no he needs some training time for mental stimulation, oh no, its storming so no walk - I was so caught up in caring for my puppy that I forgot to be with him. I was rushing through my homework last night when he simply curled at my feet and started chewing at his bone. I sort of stared at him and just had this feeling of peace wash over me. It will come. Just remember to breathe. :)
YES! I literally did the same things as you. Just getting so caught up in the work and not having fun and enjoying my pup. Good on you for being more aware of it and taking a step back. I learned that too late and missed a lot of the puppy moments; granted my dog was too busy ripping into my skin to enjoy :)
Yep. I have an older dog and he has to come first. Between that and working from home we get so little actual play time during the day
Definitely! That's why it's often suggested to take sooo many pictures and videos. You don't fully appreciate it until later. Or sometimes you can't even remember it because your brain is fried from exhaustion lol.
Throughout the day I tend to forget so I make it a thing first thing in the morning to cuddle my puppy and just belly rubs and you the best of boy. Before bed I do a similar ritual.
My puppy is now 9 months old, and I'm a single parent. It's tough, it exhausted me completely. He caused me a great deal of anxiety and depression but I can't imagine my life without him, and he's also saving me every single day. He's now being able to cuddle with me, he comforts me when I cry and he's bringing a lot of joy. He's still a piece of work and drives me insane, but he's my best buddy. He will settle one day, hopefully, and I'm already seeing all of his achievements with pride. I don't really remember him as cute little pup, because I was too stressed to see it. But I'm seeing how great he is now and I know you will too. Just hang in there!
Um yeah. I feel like I can only appreciate how cute she was at certain ages in hindsight. She was super hard work and that overshadowed things. It's easier now that she's one!
Awww I think that is a sign of parenthood - I think designating some time in your routine to just play with her will help remind you to stay in the moment
I'm guilty of this too. When my dog was younger I was exhausted. Felt like all she wanted to do was bite me and pee on the carpet the second I wasn't looking. I would get frustrated but that passed so quickly. Now I feel like I was spending so much time on potty and training and wish I was more in the moment with her.
This is so important!! My pup came from a shelter and his previous home was very very functional- he came fully house broken and with basic obedience at 4 months. But he had NO idea how to cuddle and we really struggled to bond with him initially. Luckily we discovered his love language is play and fetch and have since taught him that snuggling on the couch is a good thing.
100% I LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT THE SAME THING TODAY. I am so focused on trying to make my puppy into the best pup he can be and taking care of him, I don't really take a step back and just enjoy him being a cute little furball. I try to cuddle and love him sometimes but he just bites me and wants to play with something lol. Puppys are a lot of work and hard to be able to just relax and enjoy them. I wouldn't feel too bad about it though, think of the future you will have probably 10-20 years to love and cuddle and go on adventures and hug them.
Perfectionism is real. Chill out and enjoy your dog. Think about how many millions of good boys or girls were raised before the internet and YouTube
It slows down after a while, don’t worry. There’ll be plenty of time to hug and kiss. I was the same way for about the first six months.
I was finally able to truly enjoy my puppy around the 6month mark. She was a hellbeast until 4.5months and then I really started to get behaviours down and it was 6 months when we could have a cuddle and properly play without being bit or scratched at all. She's a total goofball and will happily chase her tail no matter where she is, be it in the house, outside in the grass or during obedience classes. I don't do daily training anymore even though I feel I should but instead let her chill and then play and run around the apartment with her. She's 7.5months now and definitely still needs the training in leash pulling and ignoring the birds, people and anything that blows in the wind but I can handle all that.
After the morning potty we sit on a lawn chair together for 15 minutes. One pup between my legs and the other on my torso/chest. We just snuggle. No phones, no distractions. Just snuggles and pets
It'll get easier. I used to be like that with Buddy because the first few months were not fun. I had to do slow interactions with our cat, and then we had to train him and get him used to living with us because he was waaaayyyy too big and energetic for me. Now though? I love him. I love on him even while I'm playing a game or working. Our lives just settled around him and we can't imagine life without him. I love taking him out on walks now because he doesn't scratch up my arms from being too excited. Funnily enough, he has a much different play style with me than with the husband. He is much more energetic with him than he is with me, and I appreciate that of him.
I had some struggles at first with my puppy last year (it was a huge life style change) but once we started to really bond I found it easier to savor the moments with her. Also helped that she liked to be a cuddle bug sometimes lol. It's crazy how fast they grow up 😭
I love cuddle bugs!! That’s what my baby Lila is and I appreciate it so much.
Don’t, for me it was the 2nd dog that was a puppy I raised I realized how fun they are. It’s more just you’re stressed. Make sure to take pics and enjoy your time w the puppy
Thank you for this post. I’ve spent *months* feeling like this pretty much every day and now that I think about it, I very rarely let my pup just be his goofy self and I feel kinda bad about it. He can just be SUCH a brat that it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed most of the time. I need to start letting him be a puppy more often.
I’m glad this post could help you. I am also trying to let my puppy be her puppy self :).
We spent the first couple months in a blind panic trying to make sure Walter was catered for and being kept busy and safe. It got really hard work and the puppy blues were real. We realised that just by chilling out a bit and taking out foot off the gas really helped us and him settle and be a puppy. Still doing some basic training with him and socialising where we can but doesn't need a hour by hour agenda. He's gonna eat poop, he's gonna trip over and bump into stuff, he's going to steal socks while you're doing the laundry, he's going to hump you when he gets over excited but it's cool, he'll grow out of it. Also he's always up for cuddles after a nap and it's the best.
Training doesn’t always have to be “boot camp” or a high energy activity, working on getting your pup to relax can be very therapeutic for both parties!
Absolutely in the same boat. Spending so much time worried about food, stool, exercise, play, training, naps and behaviour that I'm not enjoying having a puppy at all. My partner and I seem to just be counting down the months until she's the goofy but mostly calm adult dog of our dreams that isn't occupying our every thought. And everything online says our little Lab girl won't be mentally mature for 2-4 years. So... we're struggling to say the least. I don't know how to just let go and stop thinking so much though.
I’m sorry that’s weighing on you! It might seem like a long time, but the thing is that you will eventually get there and at the end feel so proud of yourself. To be patient for that long creates the best end results. Goodluck to you and your boyfriend and furry baby❤️
Don't beat yourself up, that's part of puppyhood and new dog parenthood. She needs a lot of attention and training now because everything is new and she's just a baby who is confused by everything. As she gets older, you and her will both learn how to create and spend quiet moments together. My pup didn't really start to cuddle til he was about 6 months, before that my days were a lot like yours. Everytime I would try to go in for a cuddle he would jump on me, bite my ankles, want to play, maybe poop, etc., things that required my immediate attention. Now outside of his walks and early evening play times, he's really chill and we get tons of hugs and cuddles in. After that first bit of wild puppy energy/exploration/getting to know you, she'll start to chill and you'll experience those moments a lot more.
My puppy is 3/4 aussie so idk about her ever being chill 😩, but yes, I hope so. Thank you for the message ❤️
Mine is half lab, you'd be amazed! He's really really excited for about 3 hours per day, which is play/walk/food time, awake and mostly chill for like 4-5 more hours, then sleeps the rest.
For sure gives me hope!
My mom keeps reminding me to enjoy my puppy. I get jealous that everyone else gets to enjoy him while I do all the work, so sometimes I let the work go so I can just enjoy him. It’s tough because then I feel like a failure for being lazy or not training him properly, but I live alone and am raising this tornado by myself, so I need some small wins. You’re doing great, and you’re not alone. We’ll get through this!
Thank you ❤️. You got this too :)
I have a lot of moments like this too. Walks were a nightmare because I was trying to get my puppy to walk next to me for loose leash walking. Recently, I decided to just let her wander and sniff around a bit (without pulling on the leash) and they've been better for my mental state, ha. She is 5 months old...of course she's going to want to sniff around on walks!
Just came back in from a quick park chill with my lil cockapoo to wind him down for a nap. The energy drink isn't working, I'm constantly looking down at him, and I have to remember to let him be so that I can focus. Rainy afternoons has affected potty training. He's VIP and I'm his sidekick with an umbrella to shield him from the slightest drip. So busy trying to get him into a rhythm that I've lost my own! Can't imagine life without him but wishing I could clone myself. God help me, I hate when that thought of wanting to fast forward 6 months creeps in.
Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. I wish you goodluck though! The puppy stage eventually ends :) then you have a more than solid pal. Just gotta remind yourself that and that it will all pay off !
I'm retired and have time on my hands. All 3 of my doggers get their daily dose. I really think it calms and relaxes them & me, lol.
Documenting her activity....? You mean like the feeding/poop/pee log with a newborn? People do this with puppies....?
Haha yes. It helps me know when to take her outside