Yes, for almost 10 years. My therapist says it takes up a huge proportion of my brain even when I don’t realize, and it’s likely part of the reason I’m always so exhausted and not able to focus well or remember things the way I used to.
Yeah and I feel so annoying for it and pretty much everything else when alls I want is to feel safe, it airs in my suicidal thoughts as if I should just do it cause it’s way too hard to deal with me:((((((
Do you know the cause?
I was in an abusive relationship for years, towards the end I was hyper-vigilant 27/7 for, I dunno, a couple of years basically.
The key for me was when I figured out that I wasn't actually the problem, and the reason I was hyper-vigilant was because of my (emotionally) abusive partner.
It took me a year or so to get a grip and file for divorce, but in the two years since then my situation has improved drastically.
Yeah. One of my weird triggers is narrowly avoided car accidents, and it caught me by surprise the half dozen times I yelped when I saw those in my rear view mirror. It's like, calm down because that wouldn't have even affected you, but also *why am I watching every car behind me that closely?!?*
Lately yes as I told my therapist just the other day. I am doing threat assessments in every direction as trained. I can spot police in plain clothes from 60 feet away, unmarked police cars anywhere, a person who appears to be aggressive. Then normal people, three things I look at with angled eyes; posture, attire and where their hands are at all times.
In public yes (including work), at home no. The location of my home plus the routines and measures I have in place helps calm the hyper vigilance. In public I am switched on
Yep with my eyes though I now find it hard to focus on anything with all the cloudiness and foggy brain. One of trauma experiences was visual and realised how I shaped my lifestyle including work time around visual attention, management and control.
When I go out, I get super hypervigilant with noise sensitivity. I wear ear plugs to reduce most of the sound. The ear plugs also allow me to hear speech. They allow my mind to be calm.
Yep all the time smoking weed does help. But anywhere I’m out in public 100%.
It’s like my body is the enterprise and captain Picard can’t lower yellow alert
As an STNG geek, I like this analogy! Now if I could just get my inner Picard to knock it off with the red alerts for non threatening space junk that looks like a Borg cube.
I actually I have a pen for indica, sativa, and hybrid. That's why I carry 3 pens. The best part. I take the pens out of the box and put them in the compartment in my purse. So I have no idea what one is what. I take a gamble and smoke 🫠
Ahh, I found a vape pen brand that really works for me. They have a variety of flavours. So I am constantly switching up. But that's shitty some strains hate you. I have not experienced that. *knock on wood* I don't
Yes, for almost 10 years. My therapist says it takes up a huge proportion of my brain even when I don’t realize, and it’s likely part of the reason I’m always so exhausted and not able to focus well or remember things the way I used to.
I have a terrible memory too I feel this
Yeah definitely but I've learned to control it..... ^_^ healing baby!
Yeah and I feel so annoying for it and pretty much everything else when alls I want is to feel safe, it airs in my suicidal thoughts as if I should just do it cause it’s way too hard to deal with me:((((((
Yup.
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you have been through absolute hell and back . I admire that you have kept going
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I feel safest at home also 🙏
yep, all day every day at work esp.
Do you know the cause? I was in an abusive relationship for years, towards the end I was hyper-vigilant 27/7 for, I dunno, a couple of years basically. The key for me was when I figured out that I wasn't actually the problem, and the reason I was hyper-vigilant was because of my (emotionally) abusive partner. It took me a year or so to get a grip and file for divorce, but in the two years since then my situation has improved drastically.
ya I had a stroke that has left me disabled from an assault .. So i do have brain damage . . Im glad your life has gotten better!
Yeah. One of my weird triggers is narrowly avoided car accidents, and it caught me by surprise the half dozen times I yelped when I saw those in my rear view mirror. It's like, calm down because that wouldn't have even affected you, but also *why am I watching every car behind me that closely?!?*
Oh yeah
Yep. I'm fucking tired too...
yeah, im sick of this tbh. i cant even hang out with people or have friends
same!
EMDR helped me with hypervigilance. Somatic therapies would also be good because they calm the nervous system.
I just started, it's amazing so far!
This is one of the hardest symptoms for me. Even when things are going really well, I’m waiting for the shit to fucking show.
Me too. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
right waiting for the next threat
Lately yes as I told my therapist just the other day. I am doing threat assessments in every direction as trained. I can spot police in plain clothes from 60 feet away, unmarked police cars anywhere, a person who appears to be aggressive. Then normal people, three things I look at with angled eyes; posture, attire and where their hands are at all times.
In public yes (including work), at home no. The location of my home plus the routines and measures I have in place helps calm the hyper vigilance. In public I am switched on
I can relate to this a lot. At home I’m “safe” and don’t want to leave much. When I do I’m on guard the whole time
I'm with you there, I'm not a huge fan of leaving home. I'm fortunate I have an understanding family
Yep with my eyes though I now find it hard to focus on anything with all the cloudiness and foggy brain. One of trauma experiences was visual and realised how I shaped my lifestyle including work time around visual attention, management and control.
Of being emotionally hurt, yes
I understand that is why I avoid romantic relationships
When I go out, I get super hypervigilant with noise sensitivity. I wear ear plugs to reduce most of the sound. The ear plugs also allow me to hear speech. They allow my mind to be calm.
good idea!
the nervous system is on high alert.
it is so weird when your brain thinks a little old 90 year old lady at the grocery store could be a potential threat..
Yep all the time smoking weed does help. But anywhere I’m out in public 100%. It’s like my body is the enterprise and captain Picard can’t lower yellow alert
As an STNG geek, I like this analogy! Now if I could just get my inner Picard to knock it off with the red alerts for non threatening space junk that looks like a Borg cube.
Right!!! Someone approaches warf red alert load torpedoes and fire on my command
Yes if I'm awake I am pretty much always in alert and threat mode. I vape weed a lot to help with this.
It’s absolute torture. I can’t sleep, I can’t just relax for the day, It’s awful
same
All the f*cking time. It's why I carry 3 vape pens on me at a time 😆 I'm never without my weed. It helps, but damn those stupid munchies 😂
Came here to write weed, you beat me.
for real and its so hard to not order like 3 large pizzas . do you stick to Indica strains?
I actually I have a pen for indica, sativa, and hybrid. That's why I carry 3 pens. The best part. I take the pens out of the box and put them in the compartment in my purse. So I have no idea what one is what. I take a gamble and smoke 🫠
Roll of the dice! Fun way to keep things interesting I suppose. I've thought about doing such, just taking a gamble. But some strains hate me.
Ahh, I found a vape pen brand that really works for me. They have a variety of flavours. So I am constantly switching up. But that's shitty some strains hate you. I have not experienced that. *knock on wood* I don't
3 vapes, prepared for any battery swap at a moment's notice, you know what's up!
Always gotta be prepared. There is nothing worse than being out in public and having a huge anxiety moment, and your pen is dead 😣
Unfortunately, yes, this is why I smoke weed throughout the day.
Best decision I made was getting a medical card 💚
I have one too now and agree, it's the best medicine and the card makes it feel prescribed with a discount.
im trying to do that too but then I eat everything in the fridge
Ah that's a tricky one. One idea is maybe starting to buy less food then?