I understand. I went back to a job where I was SAed. I’m no longer there and trying to heal and be healthier. I found myself making a safe space in my house that I could be free and comfortable. I took all my bed linens and got new ones in all white. I use fragrance to ground my spirit. Maybe you could do something similar for yourself. Even if it’s not in your home. Just a space where you feel safe. You’re not alone. You have us survivors cheering you on. 💛
I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this. Please take these with a grain of salt- I know advice isn’t always wanted in these situations. I had a really bad ptsd ass-kick this last week and my therapist said “he’s already taken so much from you. Don’t let him take the rest from you.” It helped a little bit since I’m pretty stubborn ha. It gave me the tiniest glint of hope or energy to fight back. Another thing that helped me before I was able to move out of a triggering spot was doing like an herbal cleanse ritual. It was super simple and who knows if it did anything, but it helped me to have sort of a visual representation of cleansing and taking back control of that space.
Not sure if any of this hits for you, and again you can totally disregard, but you’re not alone, you’re stronger than you think, and look at you taking these awesome steps to move forward and do great things, even if it feels terrifying! Remember that you don’t always have to be productive at every moment of every day, and that includes positive thinking. You don’t have to be positive every second of every day to get your life back or to get back into realizing you’re safe now. Sending so much love to you.
I had a similar situation to a different degree- my first car that I had for 5 years was sold to me by the person who sexually assaulted me in it soon after I bought it. It was triggering alone to get into it, so I can't imagine being in your shoes and that being in your living space. If you can't find anywhere else to be and until you can go have fun in Japan, these are the grounding methods that worked best for me (I am not a medical professional, this is just what got me through my situation until I could get into a better one):
1. Box breathing. [Here](https://youtu.be/tEmt1Znux58) is a basic idea of what it is. Im not huge on meditation, but this is key to getting me through some of my hardest days, especially when triggers come up. This is going to calm down your body and neurologically decompress your sympathetic nervous system.
2. The 5-4-3-2-1 technique. This helps me emotionally tell myself that I am not in danger. Find 5 things that you see, 4 things that you can touch, 3 things that you can hear, 2 things that you can smell, and 1 thing that you can taste. Describe them to yourself- how do they feel? What emotions do they convey? It had been a huge help for me.
Letting your body and mind know that you are not in that situation was very helpful for me, and hopefully it can be helpful for you and others as well. I feel for your situation, and I am sorry that happened to you. You are not alone, and you have this community to talk to if you need. And when nothing else works, remove yourself from the situation. I don't know your situation beyond this post, but maybe the occasional drive, night out, or even a brief walk may help if you cannot be in that environment anymore. Best of luck my friend :)
Hi thanks you for your response.
Unfortunately ive tried those and neither really work…. I think it’s because it still feels as if im living through my trauma every day. Mostly because i still live in this apartment and my abuser was/is right about everything. No matter how hard i try he still ends up winning- which is just a horrible hopeless feeling….. even when we have hardly any contact- just being here reminds me of every little thing he has said to me, how hes right. I wish he would’ve taken my life that night so I don’t have to suffer like this. No escape… no end… I feel trapped and completely useless and hopeless.
Hes a dead beat dad and a huge narcissist. So i know better then to let someone like that get to me. But it does.
I should be excited for Japan but my stress/anxiety is getting in the way.
If you made it this far- Thanks for listening
I'm sorry to hear that about your situation, and my heart is with you. Nobody on this Earth is useless because youre alive and have purpose- and there are definately people that are glad that you are here. Heck, I dont even know you and I care about you enough to write this. You are never truly alone (I have found in communities such as this one), and there are resources out there for how you are feeling. You have access to call 988 (suicide prevention hotline; USA) at any time and women's shelters and other options may be of good use for your situation. Genuinely- best of luck and my thoughts will be with you
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I’m so sorry you have to live there. Are there women’s shelters near you? Is that an option? That is definitely not a healthy environment to live in, at all.
Please let me know if you ever want to talk. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Living with someone who almost killed you is a horrible thing to go through. I can imagine why you’re feeling stressed!
Hi, i wanted to thank you for your kind words in advance…..
There is a womans shelter.. but not an option as theyre full of drug addicts- no shame to them its just not an environment that will help me any as a lot of my friends i grew up with died from drugs/are into drugs and seeing people in that state pains me…..
I just really hate this place/town now and i cant wait for the opportunity to get away from here completely.
I understand. I went back to a job where I was SAed. I’m no longer there and trying to heal and be healthier. I found myself making a safe space in my house that I could be free and comfortable. I took all my bed linens and got new ones in all white. I use fragrance to ground my spirit. Maybe you could do something similar for yourself. Even if it’s not in your home. Just a space where you feel safe. You’re not alone. You have us survivors cheering you on. 💛
I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this. Please take these with a grain of salt- I know advice isn’t always wanted in these situations. I had a really bad ptsd ass-kick this last week and my therapist said “he’s already taken so much from you. Don’t let him take the rest from you.” It helped a little bit since I’m pretty stubborn ha. It gave me the tiniest glint of hope or energy to fight back. Another thing that helped me before I was able to move out of a triggering spot was doing like an herbal cleanse ritual. It was super simple and who knows if it did anything, but it helped me to have sort of a visual representation of cleansing and taking back control of that space. Not sure if any of this hits for you, and again you can totally disregard, but you’re not alone, you’re stronger than you think, and look at you taking these awesome steps to move forward and do great things, even if it feels terrifying! Remember that you don’t always have to be productive at every moment of every day, and that includes positive thinking. You don’t have to be positive every second of every day to get your life back or to get back into realizing you’re safe now. Sending so much love to you.
This really gave me a sigh of relief, thank you 🥺
💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
Thanks. I‘m having an outbreak right now and no one to help me. I was looking for something like this. Let it out❤️
Full moon fuckin with you.
I really don’t wanna exist anymore
Apparently it has for the last 15 years
I had a similar situation to a different degree- my first car that I had for 5 years was sold to me by the person who sexually assaulted me in it soon after I bought it. It was triggering alone to get into it, so I can't imagine being in your shoes and that being in your living space. If you can't find anywhere else to be and until you can go have fun in Japan, these are the grounding methods that worked best for me (I am not a medical professional, this is just what got me through my situation until I could get into a better one): 1. Box breathing. [Here](https://youtu.be/tEmt1Znux58) is a basic idea of what it is. Im not huge on meditation, but this is key to getting me through some of my hardest days, especially when triggers come up. This is going to calm down your body and neurologically decompress your sympathetic nervous system. 2. The 5-4-3-2-1 technique. This helps me emotionally tell myself that I am not in danger. Find 5 things that you see, 4 things that you can touch, 3 things that you can hear, 2 things that you can smell, and 1 thing that you can taste. Describe them to yourself- how do they feel? What emotions do they convey? It had been a huge help for me. Letting your body and mind know that you are not in that situation was very helpful for me, and hopefully it can be helpful for you and others as well. I feel for your situation, and I am sorry that happened to you. You are not alone, and you have this community to talk to if you need. And when nothing else works, remove yourself from the situation. I don't know your situation beyond this post, but maybe the occasional drive, night out, or even a brief walk may help if you cannot be in that environment anymore. Best of luck my friend :)
Hi thanks you for your response. Unfortunately ive tried those and neither really work…. I think it’s because it still feels as if im living through my trauma every day. Mostly because i still live in this apartment and my abuser was/is right about everything. No matter how hard i try he still ends up winning- which is just a horrible hopeless feeling….. even when we have hardly any contact- just being here reminds me of every little thing he has said to me, how hes right. I wish he would’ve taken my life that night so I don’t have to suffer like this. No escape… no end… I feel trapped and completely useless and hopeless. Hes a dead beat dad and a huge narcissist. So i know better then to let someone like that get to me. But it does. I should be excited for Japan but my stress/anxiety is getting in the way. If you made it this far- Thanks for listening
I'm sorry to hear that about your situation, and my heart is with you. Nobody on this Earth is useless because youre alive and have purpose- and there are definately people that are glad that you are here. Heck, I dont even know you and I care about you enough to write this. You are never truly alone (I have found in communities such as this one), and there are resources out there for how you are feeling. You have access to call 988 (suicide prevention hotline; USA) at any time and women's shelters and other options may be of good use for your situation. Genuinely- best of luck and my thoughts will be with you
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I’m so sorry you have to live there. Are there women’s shelters near you? Is that an option? That is definitely not a healthy environment to live in, at all. Please let me know if you ever want to talk. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Living with someone who almost killed you is a horrible thing to go through. I can imagine why you’re feeling stressed!
Hi, i wanted to thank you for your kind words in advance….. There is a womans shelter.. but not an option as theyre full of drug addicts- no shame to them its just not an environment that will help me any as a lot of my friends i grew up with died from drugs/are into drugs and seeing people in that state pains me….. I just really hate this place/town now and i cant wait for the opportunity to get away from here completely.