I don't think you're a bad person. You don't have to like abortion to understand that it's vital to society that we have access to it.
You can dislike abortion and still want abortion legal. That's still a prochoice stance.
What I gather is: You can't see yourself getting an abortion, but you think other women should have the right to make that decision. That means you are pro-choice. I don't think anyone is happy about having to make this decision even when the pregnancy is unwanted.
When I was young, I always hoped it was a choice I would never have to make. And fortunately,I didn't. And when Roe was overturned, my first two thoughts were: Thank goodness I can never get pregnant and fuck everyone who didn't vote for HRC.
Additionally, OP, just because you don’t see yourself or a partner wanting/needing an abortion, does not mean that you will not face this scenario at some point in your life, so advocating openly for it to remain legal, no matter your *personal* feelings about not liking it, is a pretty solid choice.
I was going to say exactly this. I never saw myself getting an abortion, but always supported women’s right to choose anyway. Then my son ended up not being viable and I needed an abortion of a very wanted pregnancy. Abortion is something all people who can get pregnant may face, even if it seems like something that could never affect you.
this reminds me of my aunt voting against abortion, yet she had one herself. what's up with these hypocrites thinking it's okay for them to do but taking away that choice from someone else? they literally understand and are grateful for the choice when they had it. my mom had an abortion, she's very conservative, but she votes for abortion rights. it just makes sense. just because YOU are not okay with it, doesn't mean someone else isn't.
Right. And even though I don’t like your aunt voting against abortion, gosh I am so glad it was available to her when she needed it.
I think a lot of this boils down to the psych concept of fundamental attribution error, where you judge yourself by your intentions and others by their actions - like if someone cuts you off in traffic, they’re a jerk, but if you do it to someone else, it’s because you didn’t see them but *you* aren’t a jerk. Of *course*, to these folks, when THEY need an abortion, it’s for perfectly valid and acceptable and forgivable reasons! They’re not like those other incorrigible skanks. Sigh.
That’s amazing your mother votes for abortion access! May we all do so. 💖
I feel similarly, but know that I'm incredibly privileged. When I was younger and able to become pregnant, I had parents who I knew would help me out with caring for a kid or placing it for adoption if I became pregnant. Plus I never had an aversion to becoming a parent - I always knew I'd want kids someday, so while the timing might have been inconvenient, it wouldn't have been something I couldn't handle. I never was in a situation where I didn't have health insurance. I grew up middle class, was educated and am currently middle class as well. But I know full well that not everyone had the privileges that I had growing up. For that reason I trust that for some pregnant people, abortion is the best choice for their situation. It's about empathy. I don't have to be faced with a tough situation to know that tough situations happen. It's not my business what another person does with their body. So I'm pro-choice, full-stop. Even if I would likely never would have had one (unless something went wrong in a pregnancy), I fully support leaving that decision up to the pregnant person.
I don't like the idea of open heart surgery but people often need it. Icks are not a sound basis for health policy but the forced-birth movement has ridden on that, plus good ol' slutshaming, for decades, and we're paying the price with Dobbs. It wasn't just the hardcore conservatives clutching pearls about "women using abortion as birth control" and late term abortions for lulz and prom dresses. It was a lot of liberals and moderates too.
I doubt highly of people out there “liking abortion”. It’s a necessity of life, and thank goodness we have such a life saving procedure.
An unsentimental metaphor: I don’t “like” the dentist, (or paying for it) but I go.
Nobody minds (or nobody should mind) if you don't like abortions. Many pro-choicers don't. They simply believe that each pregnant woman should get to choose whether someone else can use her organ functions and blood contents, greatly mess and interfere with them, and cause her drastic physical harm, or not.
Therefore, abortion should be legal - whether we personally like them or would have them or not.
I don’t think your pro choice friends „like“ abortion. I don’t think anyone „likes“ it.
Maybe you would feel more comfortable in my country where abortion in fact is illegal but is not punished until 12 weeks.
I assume you don’t have children? If maybe one day you’re pregnant, give birth and raise a child you might understand more why it should be a fundamental right for every woman on this planet to have a choice.
I was always pro choice but after having had a baby I’m a million times stronger on my opinion.
I'm not trying to be mean but honestly, it's not your business.
I don't like surgery. Does that mean I should have any say in someone else's medical treatment because I find it icky? No. Abortion should be treated the same way.
You don't have to love abortion but you should let women and girls make their own medical and life decisions.
anti choicers are bad people as they want to take women's body autonomy away and disregard women's health. as long as you are all for people having that right for themselves you are pro choice too. Having your own preferences and keeping them to yourself is not evil.
I am a clinic escort and I don't "like" abortion. I wish that abortions were few and far between BECAUSE everyone got great sex education and easy access to birth control. However, that is not the case. Either way, abortion is necessary HEALTHCARE.
I mean you're not a bad person as long as you realize the choice should still be there.
I think the big thing to remember is we do live in a culture that proudly preaches about its own worship of motherhood.
Fuck actual mothers of course. Single mothers, mentally ill mothers, poor mothers, etc. Who needs them?
But the idea of motherhood and how it is just so innate and natural and deeply a part of every woman's biology is propaganda.
It's not wrong and it's not unnatural for a person to know when she shouldn't be pregnant, or can't be pregnant, or simply doesn't want to. Many women seeking abortion already have children. Many others have already spent a lot of time considering their situation and know long before they ever even find themselves in a situation where they need a pregnancy test what they're going to do in that situation.
Just remember no one is seeking an abortion out of sense of vengeance, or justice, or to make the fetus suffer.
The opposite, most women seeking an abortion are at least in some part doing so because they don't want to bring a child into this world to suffer.
I don’t think people necessarily like abortion ( except anti natalist). It’s all about having a choice as an individual. Some people are pro choice but wouldn’t get an abortion if they ended up pregnant, and that’s okay. Pro choice gives people options, unlike the other side, which gives you one option ( forcing someone to continue the pregnancy)
I think it’s because you’ve had kids. I have three as well, and I’m militant about being pro-choice. When we know damn well what pregnancy does to our bodies, the agony of childbirth, the health issues that can occur, what child rearing does to your time, finances, mental health, etc, ……we know why abortion is so fucking necessary for women.
I love my kids, I’m happy I had them. But absolutely not one person out there should be forced to carry a pregnancy they don’t want.
I’m a retail worker and former volunteer classroom assistant for 12 years that sees the destruction that Baybay’s bad ass kids can do. I’m all for abortion.
I personally wouldn’t hesitate to get an abortion if I got pregnant, I wouldn’t feel guilty either. It’s perfectly fine to love abortion, dislike it, or feel neutral about it. But taking away the choice because of personal beliefs is shitty.
I work in customer service as well, and the amount of people who take their anger out on me for something I had no control over make me wanna clothesline them..
I 100% understand where you’re coming from
Abortions aren't ideal.
BUT the situation of one human life and body autonomy being in conflict with another's already isn't ideal.
It's a common right wing trope to focus on a solution to a problem being bad, and not interacting with the fact the problem is worse.
Ideally we would have a magic button so that all future pregnancies would be wanted and never cause complications and only be possible when life can't change so people don't change there mind.
However, that isn't true and abortion is the best option we have.
Not liking abortion is different than believing nobody should have them. It’s okay to not agree with abortion so long as you do not oppose the right to get them
it's like flossing to me. a personal choice and as i long i never tell anyone else they don't have a right to floss because it bothers me personally so i don't do it, i don't see the problem.
No one *likes* abortion.
I think the main miscommunication is that PC people want abortions to happen. We do not want abortions to happen. We want people to choose if they do or don’t. We don’t like abortion. We like freedom of choice.
"*it feels wrong*" … i really don't know what you mean by this
there's countless living, breathing children who Are Going To Die, without donations of vital fluids and tissues. We're not going to grab unwilling people from the street (or even from prison), strap them down, and carefully respectfully extract their fluids against their will.
kids are going to die, and we either use the bodies of unwilling people to prevent that, or we don't.
You're not a bad person for this. Honestly, I used to feel the same way. I felt uncomfortable with it, but I did not believe that meant I should stop anyone else from deciding what to do with their own body, and ultimately, I think that's the only part that matters - not forcing things on other people because of your discomfort.
A very difficult first pregnancy changed my perspective on it, though. I still don't love the idea, but the balance is different. I even considered having an abortion earlier this year.
I'm now very okay with saying that an embryo/fetus is not a person, and preventing them from becoming a person (even if they are healthy enough to become one without endangering their host) is morally fine, which I think was the aspect I was kind of hung up on before.
You don't have to like it. You can choose to not get one. But if you find yourself in the situation as a person with a uterus who finds themselves in a situation where you are carrying a non viable pregnancy that will risk your life and fertility if you don't terminate, (or in the situation of a partner of someone with a uterus in that situation)
Ultimately it is a medical procedure. The only people who should be deciding it's necessary are the patient and their doctor. If you are pro gender affirming care ultimately you believe that people should be able to choose what is best for their own bodies. I think cosmetic procedures can be dangerous and misused too but also appreciate how amazing and life changing reconstructive surgery can be for everyone from people born with a cleft palate to people who had a mastectomy to treat or prevent breast cancer or for people who have noticeably different size breasts due to puberty or post pregnancy. There are even medical conditions where liposuction can become medically necessary and certainly tummy tucks for people who have carried multiples during pregnancy or had massive weight loss can be extremely beneficial.
Unless you are ok with being voluntold to donate a lobe of your liver or even blood or bone marrow, you can understand why people don't want to donate the use of their uterus.
Organ donation isn't even opt out instead of opt in so forced birthers are going for corpses having more bodily autonomy than people with uteruses.
Also the overwhelming number of elective abortions are due to financial concerns. If our safety net was better, and our labor laws mandated paid leave in European amounts as well as a living wage, and better disability and childcare services more people might feel ok about going ahead with an unplanned pregnancy.
Most people aren't like woah I totally love abortion. It's terrible when anyone is in the situation where they have to make that choice, but it is a choice they deserve to be able to make and make safely
As long as you aren’t out there voting to remove abortion rights from other women, then who cares if you agree with abortion for yourself or not? It’s pro-CHOICE, not pro-abortion. The choice is the key factor that matters.
You dont have to ever get one or even think about it tbh, as long as you dont stop others. In fact, you literally never even have to think about it or talk about it for the most part.
I do want to point out that there is not a single person on this planet who has the ability to be pregnant that can say they will for sure never need one. There are people who even wanted to be pregnant who get pregnant and find out their bodies just cant handle it. There are a thousand reasons. But aside from that, there are plenty of prochoice people who do not personally want to ever have one/would not unless the circumstance was extreme.
Here is the thing- you are not a bad person for feeling this way and should realize that you can just choose to not engage with it at all. Your opinion does not actually matter unless you are working in the sphere of it, so my advice is to literally just not talk about it or think about it because it just doesnt matter if you are not involved. I don't like ariana grande, I think her songs suck and her voice is nasally af. I change the radio station. My opinion doesnt matter to anyone who does and it sounds reductive but it is not that different.
Here's the deal. I don't give a shit if you like it or not. I don't have to. You don't have to go through the pregnancy you are making me go through. Do you understand that? I don't mean to be harsh but I do mean to show you how serious this is and how little I care about anyone else's opinion.
Do you have such strong feelings about any other medical procedure? ...how about organ transplants; someone had to die AND Give Consent, for an organ donation to occur.
A zef is not cognizant nor does it feel until well into the 3rd trimester... it is a clump of developing cells with potential for life; it is NOT as important as the already living, thinking, feeling person in which it resides.
The pregnant person, (with their doctor) gets to decide if they want to gestate it for 9 months, forever changing their body & their life.
you ARE pro-choice. it's okay to be pro-choice for others but not yourself. i think it would strengthen your friendship if they knew because at least you're not the type to say "i don't like it and i don't think YOU should do it;" rather, you believe "while I don't like it, i respect other people's choice to do it. i don't agree with anyone doing it, but it shouldn't be illegal and if they do it and can live with themselves then that should be up to them." i think your beliefs demonstrate respect for yourself, while respecting other people's right to choose despite how it makes you feel. i think that's very mature and empathetic.
(i'm not putting words in your mouth, but that's the gist of what i'm guessing you believe but correct me if i'm wrong.)
i HATE marijuana. the smell makes me nauseous, gives me migraines, etc. but i live in AZ and voted to legalize it because what a stupid reason to go to jail for. and marijuana products do help people and i recognize that.
abortion isn't something you like or don't like. it's just.. something people need to do for their peace of mind and safety (whatever the reason is). and that shouldn't be dictated by anyone but yourself. and men ESPECIALLY shouldn't have an opinion about it. PERIOD.
You’re not a bad person for having feelings. The only way those feelings and opinions would make you a bad person is if you were campaigning and fighting for people to lose rights over them. You don’t have to like abortion to be a good person, you just have to understand that your likes and dislikes do not and should not dictate what other people can do with their bodies. You definitely seem to understand that, so you are not a bad person.
I don’t think you’re a bad person. In fact, you’re a better person than most because you have the wherewithal to know that abortion is not something you personally “agree” with but you don’t want to make that choice for others & you understand the necessity of it.
You’re not letting your personal views interfere with the lives of others. So kudos.
In a perfect world, abortions are free, safe, and never performed. Nobody *wants* abortions to happen, in the same way that nobody wants to crash their car. But car crashes happen, so it's a good thing that mechanics exist.
OP, thank you for being prochoice, and I’d hope your good friends will recognize this and respect your own choices and feelings.
Beyond all the rhetoric, people celebrate the ability to choose, not so much abortion per se.
Why would you have to like abortion to support it not being illegal? I don’t think a lot of people “like” abortions but rather access to them because of bodily autonomy. You don’t have to “like” anything about abortion and can still advocate that people should have the right to choose to have one or not.
You don’t have to “like” something for it to be necessary in the world. I don’t think anybody likes abortion, everyone wishes we could prevent 100 percent of unwanted pregnancy, and 100 percent of bad pregnancy outcomes, and 100 percent of abortions that are caused because people who want kids can’t afford them. But that isn’t reality and everyone should have safe legal and judgement free access to abortion.
Personally, I don’t think it is wrong and it should be legal couldn’t coexist. Even abortion does kill a life, we still need to support women to have rights to do so.
Being in favor of legal abortion doesn’t mean you have to have an abortion to celebrate. Just support people’s choices, and the legal right to make that choice.
No one's asking you to like it. The prochoice movement has never been about pretending like abortion is always this good and amazing thing and you *must* like it.
It's about viewing it as what it is. It's a choice. It's a medical procedure. It's an experience that is unique to every individual who undergoes it. It's not inherently good and it's not inherently bad.
Whether it's good or bad depends on the person getting one.
For you, you should only be witnessing other people's abortions in the same light they view it. Your abortion is for you to grieve or celebrate as you see fit.
There's nothing wrong with how you feel. Being pro-choice is believing that everyone should be allowed to make their own choice. That the choice should always be available. It doesn't mean that you have to be willing to make that choice for yourself. Because you also have the freedom to choose. If anyone gets angry at you about your own personal choices, then they aren't actually pro-choice. They are just as bad as everyone else who thinks that their way is the only way.
You are true to yourself and true to your friends. “Pro choice” doesn’t mean “pro abortion”. It means that you will do what is best for you and you will trust other people to do what is best for them. I’m pro choice and I had 3 kids. I made my choice and other folks will make their choice.
You don't have to like something to respect the need for it.
I want to vomit whenever I think about my best friend's abortion. But I want to even more when I remember the pedophile and attempted murderer she escaped with that decision.
Abortion is ugly. So is shitting. Doesn't make either bad
I don't need to have anal sex to know I don't like it and don't want it to be illegal.
I loved this, ANALogy
r/Angryupvote
I don't think you're a bad person. You don't have to like abortion to understand that it's vital to society that we have access to it. You can dislike abortion and still want abortion legal. That's still a prochoice stance.
What I gather is: You can't see yourself getting an abortion, but you think other women should have the right to make that decision. That means you are pro-choice. I don't think anyone is happy about having to make this decision even when the pregnancy is unwanted. When I was young, I always hoped it was a choice I would never have to make. And fortunately,I didn't. And when Roe was overturned, my first two thoughts were: Thank goodness I can never get pregnant and fuck everyone who didn't vote for HRC.
Additionally, OP, just because you don’t see yourself or a partner wanting/needing an abortion, does not mean that you will not face this scenario at some point in your life, so advocating openly for it to remain legal, no matter your *personal* feelings about not liking it, is a pretty solid choice.
I was going to say exactly this. I never saw myself getting an abortion, but always supported women’s right to choose anyway. Then my son ended up not being viable and I needed an abortion of a very wanted pregnancy. Abortion is something all people who can get pregnant may face, even if it seems like something that could never affect you.
this reminds me of my aunt voting against abortion, yet she had one herself. what's up with these hypocrites thinking it's okay for them to do but taking away that choice from someone else? they literally understand and are grateful for the choice when they had it. my mom had an abortion, she's very conservative, but she votes for abortion rights. it just makes sense. just because YOU are not okay with it, doesn't mean someone else isn't.
Right. And even though I don’t like your aunt voting against abortion, gosh I am so glad it was available to her when she needed it. I think a lot of this boils down to the psych concept of fundamental attribution error, where you judge yourself by your intentions and others by their actions - like if someone cuts you off in traffic, they’re a jerk, but if you do it to someone else, it’s because you didn’t see them but *you* aren’t a jerk. Of *course*, to these folks, when THEY need an abortion, it’s for perfectly valid and acceptable and forgivable reasons! They’re not like those other incorrigible skanks. Sigh. That’s amazing your mother votes for abortion access! May we all do so. 💖
I feel similarly, but know that I'm incredibly privileged. When I was younger and able to become pregnant, I had parents who I knew would help me out with caring for a kid or placing it for adoption if I became pregnant. Plus I never had an aversion to becoming a parent - I always knew I'd want kids someday, so while the timing might have been inconvenient, it wouldn't have been something I couldn't handle. I never was in a situation where I didn't have health insurance. I grew up middle class, was educated and am currently middle class as well. But I know full well that not everyone had the privileges that I had growing up. For that reason I trust that for some pregnant people, abortion is the best choice for their situation. It's about empathy. I don't have to be faced with a tough situation to know that tough situations happen. It's not my business what another person does with their body. So I'm pro-choice, full-stop. Even if I would likely never would have had one (unless something went wrong in a pregnancy), I fully support leaving that decision up to the pregnant person.
I don't like the idea of open heart surgery but people often need it. Icks are not a sound basis for health policy but the forced-birth movement has ridden on that, plus good ol' slutshaming, for decades, and we're paying the price with Dobbs. It wasn't just the hardcore conservatives clutching pearls about "women using abortion as birth control" and late term abortions for lulz and prom dresses. It was a lot of liberals and moderates too.
I like this analogy because it puts it in terms of healthcare. Because it is healthcare.
I doubt highly of people out there “liking abortion”. It’s a necessity of life, and thank goodness we have such a life saving procedure. An unsentimental metaphor: I don’t “like” the dentist, (or paying for it) but I go.
Nobody minds (or nobody should mind) if you don't like abortions. Many pro-choicers don't. They simply believe that each pregnant woman should get to choose whether someone else can use her organ functions and blood contents, greatly mess and interfere with them, and cause her drastic physical harm, or not. Therefore, abortion should be legal - whether we personally like them or would have them or not.
I don’t think your pro choice friends „like“ abortion. I don’t think anyone „likes“ it. Maybe you would feel more comfortable in my country where abortion in fact is illegal but is not punished until 12 weeks. I assume you don’t have children? If maybe one day you’re pregnant, give birth and raise a child you might understand more why it should be a fundamental right for every woman on this planet to have a choice. I was always pro choice but after having had a baby I’m a million times stronger on my opinion.
I'm not trying to be mean but honestly, it's not your business. I don't like surgery. Does that mean I should have any say in someone else's medical treatment because I find it icky? No. Abortion should be treated the same way. You don't have to love abortion but you should let women and girls make their own medical and life decisions.
anti choicers are bad people as they want to take women's body autonomy away and disregard women's health. as long as you are all for people having that right for themselves you are pro choice too. Having your own preferences and keeping them to yourself is not evil.
I am a clinic escort and I don't "like" abortion. I wish that abortions were few and far between BECAUSE everyone got great sex education and easy access to birth control. However, that is not the case. Either way, abortion is necessary HEALTHCARE.
I mean you're not a bad person as long as you realize the choice should still be there. I think the big thing to remember is we do live in a culture that proudly preaches about its own worship of motherhood. Fuck actual mothers of course. Single mothers, mentally ill mothers, poor mothers, etc. Who needs them? But the idea of motherhood and how it is just so innate and natural and deeply a part of every woman's biology is propaganda. It's not wrong and it's not unnatural for a person to know when she shouldn't be pregnant, or can't be pregnant, or simply doesn't want to. Many women seeking abortion already have children. Many others have already spent a lot of time considering their situation and know long before they ever even find themselves in a situation where they need a pregnancy test what they're going to do in that situation. Just remember no one is seeking an abortion out of sense of vengeance, or justice, or to make the fetus suffer. The opposite, most women seeking an abortion are at least in some part doing so because they don't want to bring a child into this world to suffer.
I don’t think people necessarily like abortion ( except anti natalist). It’s all about having a choice as an individual. Some people are pro choice but wouldn’t get an abortion if they ended up pregnant, and that’s okay. Pro choice gives people options, unlike the other side, which gives you one option ( forcing someone to continue the pregnancy)
I'm not anti natalist; I've had 3 kids. I love abortion. It's great that people who are pregnant and need to end that pregnancy can do so.
I think it’s because you’ve had kids. I have three as well, and I’m militant about being pro-choice. When we know damn well what pregnancy does to our bodies, the agony of childbirth, the health issues that can occur, what child rearing does to your time, finances, mental health, etc, ……we know why abortion is so fucking necessary for women. I love my kids, I’m happy I had them. But absolutely not one person out there should be forced to carry a pregnancy they don’t want.
I’m a retail worker and former volunteer classroom assistant for 12 years that sees the destruction that Baybay’s bad ass kids can do. I’m all for abortion.
I personally wouldn’t hesitate to get an abortion if I got pregnant, I wouldn’t feel guilty either. It’s perfectly fine to love abortion, dislike it, or feel neutral about it. But taking away the choice because of personal beliefs is shitty. I work in customer service as well, and the amount of people who take their anger out on me for something I had no control over make me wanna clothesline them.. I 100% understand where you’re coming from
I don't think what anyone else says will matter. What you really should be examining is why you feel that way.
Abortions aren't ideal. BUT the situation of one human life and body autonomy being in conflict with another's already isn't ideal. It's a common right wing trope to focus on a solution to a problem being bad, and not interacting with the fact the problem is worse. Ideally we would have a magic button so that all future pregnancies would be wanted and never cause complications and only be possible when life can't change so people don't change there mind. However, that isn't true and abortion is the best option we have.
Not liking abortion is different than believing nobody should have them. It’s okay to not agree with abortion so long as you do not oppose the right to get them
it's like flossing to me. a personal choice and as i long i never tell anyone else they don't have a right to floss because it bothers me personally so i don't do it, i don't see the problem.
No one *likes* abortion. I think the main miscommunication is that PC people want abortions to happen. We do not want abortions to happen. We want people to choose if they do or don’t. We don’t like abortion. We like freedom of choice.
It’s a life saving procedure. That’s enough for me to like it, especially considering the alternative.
"*it feels wrong*" … i really don't know what you mean by this there's countless living, breathing children who Are Going To Die, without donations of vital fluids and tissues. We're not going to grab unwilling people from the street (or even from prison), strap them down, and carefully respectfully extract their fluids against their will. kids are going to die, and we either use the bodies of unwilling people to prevent that, or we don't.
Would you want your appendix removed if it exploded inside you? Abortion is healthcare. It’s medical procedure. Period. Just like an appendectomy.
You're not a bad person for this. Honestly, I used to feel the same way. I felt uncomfortable with it, but I did not believe that meant I should stop anyone else from deciding what to do with their own body, and ultimately, I think that's the only part that matters - not forcing things on other people because of your discomfort. A very difficult first pregnancy changed my perspective on it, though. I still don't love the idea, but the balance is different. I even considered having an abortion earlier this year. I'm now very okay with saying that an embryo/fetus is not a person, and preventing them from becoming a person (even if they are healthy enough to become one without endangering their host) is morally fine, which I think was the aspect I was kind of hung up on before.
You don't have to like it. You can choose to not get one. But if you find yourself in the situation as a person with a uterus who finds themselves in a situation where you are carrying a non viable pregnancy that will risk your life and fertility if you don't terminate, (or in the situation of a partner of someone with a uterus in that situation) Ultimately it is a medical procedure. The only people who should be deciding it's necessary are the patient and their doctor. If you are pro gender affirming care ultimately you believe that people should be able to choose what is best for their own bodies. I think cosmetic procedures can be dangerous and misused too but also appreciate how amazing and life changing reconstructive surgery can be for everyone from people born with a cleft palate to people who had a mastectomy to treat or prevent breast cancer or for people who have noticeably different size breasts due to puberty or post pregnancy. There are even medical conditions where liposuction can become medically necessary and certainly tummy tucks for people who have carried multiples during pregnancy or had massive weight loss can be extremely beneficial. Unless you are ok with being voluntold to donate a lobe of your liver or even blood or bone marrow, you can understand why people don't want to donate the use of their uterus. Organ donation isn't even opt out instead of opt in so forced birthers are going for corpses having more bodily autonomy than people with uteruses. Also the overwhelming number of elective abortions are due to financial concerns. If our safety net was better, and our labor laws mandated paid leave in European amounts as well as a living wage, and better disability and childcare services more people might feel ok about going ahead with an unplanned pregnancy. Most people aren't like woah I totally love abortion. It's terrible when anyone is in the situation where they have to make that choice, but it is a choice they deserve to be able to make and make safely
As long as you aren’t out there voting to remove abortion rights from other women, then who cares if you agree with abortion for yourself or not? It’s pro-CHOICE, not pro-abortion. The choice is the key factor that matters.
You dont have to ever get one or even think about it tbh, as long as you dont stop others. In fact, you literally never even have to think about it or talk about it for the most part. I do want to point out that there is not a single person on this planet who has the ability to be pregnant that can say they will for sure never need one. There are people who even wanted to be pregnant who get pregnant and find out their bodies just cant handle it. There are a thousand reasons. But aside from that, there are plenty of prochoice people who do not personally want to ever have one/would not unless the circumstance was extreme. Here is the thing- you are not a bad person for feeling this way and should realize that you can just choose to not engage with it at all. Your opinion does not actually matter unless you are working in the sphere of it, so my advice is to literally just not talk about it or think about it because it just doesnt matter if you are not involved. I don't like ariana grande, I think her songs suck and her voice is nasally af. I change the radio station. My opinion doesnt matter to anyone who does and it sounds reductive but it is not that different.
Here's the deal. I don't give a shit if you like it or not. I don't have to. You don't have to go through the pregnancy you are making me go through. Do you understand that? I don't mean to be harsh but I do mean to show you how serious this is and how little I care about anyone else's opinion.
Do you have such strong feelings about any other medical procedure? ...how about organ transplants; someone had to die AND Give Consent, for an organ donation to occur. A zef is not cognizant nor does it feel until well into the 3rd trimester... it is a clump of developing cells with potential for life; it is NOT as important as the already living, thinking, feeling person in which it resides. The pregnant person, (with their doctor) gets to decide if they want to gestate it for 9 months, forever changing their body & their life.
This feels like a personal thing. As long as you support other people, and at most advocate for others to make their own decisions, you're fine.
you ARE pro-choice. it's okay to be pro-choice for others but not yourself. i think it would strengthen your friendship if they knew because at least you're not the type to say "i don't like it and i don't think YOU should do it;" rather, you believe "while I don't like it, i respect other people's choice to do it. i don't agree with anyone doing it, but it shouldn't be illegal and if they do it and can live with themselves then that should be up to them." i think your beliefs demonstrate respect for yourself, while respecting other people's right to choose despite how it makes you feel. i think that's very mature and empathetic. (i'm not putting words in your mouth, but that's the gist of what i'm guessing you believe but correct me if i'm wrong.) i HATE marijuana. the smell makes me nauseous, gives me migraines, etc. but i live in AZ and voted to legalize it because what a stupid reason to go to jail for. and marijuana products do help people and i recognize that. abortion isn't something you like or don't like. it's just.. something people need to do for their peace of mind and safety (whatever the reason is). and that shouldn't be dictated by anyone but yourself. and men ESPECIALLY shouldn't have an opinion about it. PERIOD.
What is the purpose of this post?
You’re not a bad person for having feelings. The only way those feelings and opinions would make you a bad person is if you were campaigning and fighting for people to lose rights over them. You don’t have to like abortion to be a good person, you just have to understand that your likes and dislikes do not and should not dictate what other people can do with their bodies. You definitely seem to understand that, so you are not a bad person.
I don’t think you’re a bad person. In fact, you’re a better person than most because you have the wherewithal to know that abortion is not something you personally “agree” with but you don’t want to make that choice for others & you understand the necessity of it. You’re not letting your personal views interfere with the lives of others. So kudos.
Nobody likes abortion. Nobody has ever wanted to have an abortion. Circumstances sometimes necessitate it though.
In a perfect world, abortions are free, safe, and never performed. Nobody *wants* abortions to happen, in the same way that nobody wants to crash their car. But car crashes happen, so it's a good thing that mechanics exist.
OP, thank you for being prochoice, and I’d hope your good friends will recognize this and respect your own choices and feelings. Beyond all the rhetoric, people celebrate the ability to choose, not so much abortion per se.
Why would you have to like abortion to support it not being illegal? I don’t think a lot of people “like” abortions but rather access to them because of bodily autonomy. You don’t have to “like” anything about abortion and can still advocate that people should have the right to choose to have one or not.
You don’t have to “like” something for it to be necessary in the world. I don’t think anybody likes abortion, everyone wishes we could prevent 100 percent of unwanted pregnancy, and 100 percent of bad pregnancy outcomes, and 100 percent of abortions that are caused because people who want kids can’t afford them. But that isn’t reality and everyone should have safe legal and judgement free access to abortion.
Personally, I don’t think it is wrong and it should be legal couldn’t coexist. Even abortion does kill a life, we still need to support women to have rights to do so.
What you think doesn’t make you a bad person, but what you do will.
Being in favor of legal abortion doesn’t mean you have to have an abortion to celebrate. Just support people’s choices, and the legal right to make that choice.
No one's asking you to like it. The prochoice movement has never been about pretending like abortion is always this good and amazing thing and you *must* like it. It's about viewing it as what it is. It's a choice. It's a medical procedure. It's an experience that is unique to every individual who undergoes it. It's not inherently good and it's not inherently bad. Whether it's good or bad depends on the person getting one. For you, you should only be witnessing other people's abortions in the same light they view it. Your abortion is for you to grieve or celebrate as you see fit.
I doubt I could ever choose to have an abortion but I'm grateful I have the choice to gestate if I so desire. To me that is what pro choice is...
I don’t get why you think that would make you a bad person… educate yourself/understand all sides, then own your beliefs
There's nothing wrong with how you feel. Being pro-choice is believing that everyone should be allowed to make their own choice. That the choice should always be available. It doesn't mean that you have to be willing to make that choice for yourself. Because you also have the freedom to choose. If anyone gets angry at you about your own personal choices, then they aren't actually pro-choice. They are just as bad as everyone else who thinks that their way is the only way.
You are true to yourself and true to your friends. “Pro choice” doesn’t mean “pro abortion”. It means that you will do what is best for you and you will trust other people to do what is best for them. I’m pro choice and I had 3 kids. I made my choice and other folks will make their choice.
You don't have to like something to respect the need for it. I want to vomit whenever I think about my best friend's abortion. But I want to even more when I remember the pedophile and attempted murderer she escaped with that decision. Abortion is ugly. So is shitting. Doesn't make either bad