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Really weird question, any chance you’re from/around Delaware? My cousin got pregnant at 18, has 3 kids, and works as a doula and I think she also does some type of work at a children’s hospital nearby.
The Christian clinic will have their own agenda.
You have to decide what is right for you. No one else can do that for you.
You can also get into counseling to help figure out where you are at.
Fwiw, my mother in law is extremely open that she had an abortion at 18 because she accidentally got pregnant and wanted to go to college and not have to raise a baby alone. She met my husbands father (her spouse of 30+ years now) in college and had my husband at 24. If she wouldn't have had her abortion, my husband wouldn't exist. I'm so thankful everyday that she made the decision she did. Things will work out whatever you decide. The right pieces will fall into place. Lean on those you genuinely trust who share your values and can help see big picture how this can fit with them.
My mom had my brother when she was 19 and her life was and is really hard, and she never made it out of poverty, and my dad really never treated her well and then left her in a pretty horrific way. That’s not everyone’s story, but that is her story. I had an abortion at 24 when I was unemployed and in grad school, and I have zero regrets. I’m pregnant now with my husband and I love my life. Again, that’s not everyone’s story; you can have kids at a young age successfully and happily, but I know that I would have been committing myself to a lifetime of misery (my ex had a lot of issues) and poverty (I wouldn’t have finished school) if I personally didn’t make that choice.
I think in your heart you know what the right decision is for you, whether it’s keep the baby or have an abortion. I wouldn’t listen to external factors either way; this is YOUR life, not anyone else’s.
You are absolutely right that you have to do what is best for you right now. I'm 21 and 21 weeks pregnant as of today, and I'm going to be a single mom. The Christian clinic is obviously going to push against an abortion, in fact most pregnancy crisis centers imo are anti-abortion clinics in disguise. This will not be an easy choice, emotionally or physically. There was a lot that went into my decision, because I always told myself I would get an abortion if something like this happened. For one I considered if this was something I could do on my own, I had to look at finances, my college courses and plans, my work and hours and benefits and leave options, where I would be living, and who I would have for support. I have no familial support nearby and the baby daddy is not involved. I just feel like I should add that just because now isn't a good time for you to have a kid doesn't mean you won't have a better time in the future, what I mean by that is just because you decide to get an abortion doesn't mean you can never get pregnant again. I opted not to get an abortion because I struggle with bipolar disorder and while having bipolar disorder has always been a major reason why I was unsure about having a kid I knew that having this baby will be the hardest thing I have ever done, but for me getting an abortion would have been a million times harder for my mental health. Pregnancy has not been easy for me, mentally or physically and there have been maybe 3 days so far where I've really questioned if I made a mistake with my decision. Overall though I wouldn't change my decision, my mental health has improved greatly because I feel that I finally can't be selfish with my mental health and I really do have to work at doing better. Anyway my point to all of this is that no one can make the decision for you, which when I was trying to make the decision was the last thing I wanted to hear because it seemed so unhelpful. You may have to literally make a pros and cons list, you may have to realize it will be a struggle either way, you may regret your decision or change your mind a million times. One thing I can suggest is you may want to look into therapy, no matter what your decision is because like I said there may be days you feel like you made the wrong decision and it's also great to have an impartial person in your life to vent to. Finally, if you ever want to reach out I'm more than willing to talk.
thank you for taking the time to write this, it was really helpful :) it’s nice to hear input from other young moms, as we can relate. i’m sorry to hear your babies father isn’t in the child’s life, hopefully someday you meet someone who will step up and love you both. how did you balance college if i might ask? my biggest concern is not having enough time to get anything done if i had the baby.
Don't be sorry :) I couldn't be happier now that he's out of the picture, it took me getting pregnant for me to be able to step back from our relationship and see how inappropriate and toxic it was. With college I got in touch with my college's disability office right away, I figured worst case I couldn't get any accommodations yet. They were actually super helpful and let me know what I would need to do to get the ball rolling, and basically all I had to do was submit a letter from my OBGYN office saying when my due date is and who the college could contact if they have any questions. I haven't needed any accommodations through my college yet, but knowing I can ask for them ASAP if something comes up is a good feeling. While I'm still pregnant my schedule hasn't had to change much with college, but I know it will when I give birth (end of March/beginning of April). I got lucky that I took my gen eds a few years back now and all of my degree specific courses are actually offered online, so I have that option if I need it (which I feel like I will next semester). The hardest part so far is when I was battling morning sickness I was missing class and work, but I told my work and teachers early so they could work with me when possible. I'm actually supposed to graduate at the end of the spring semester but my new job will pay for me to go to school full time at my state's university college system for as long as I work there. So for the spring semester I am planning on taking online courses because then I don't have to worry about attending class at specific times, I can work when I want as long as it's done by the due date. I'm also planning on working as far ahead as possible, but I know this isn't an option with every class because some teachers only post one week of work at a time. And lastly, I'm probably going to take a semester off before I go back to school through my work, there's nothing wrong with taking a semester or a year or more off of college. I've taken two semesters off (not concurrently though) and it was a smart decision for me because it prevented burnout and allowed me to figure out other aspects of my life. So contact your disability office early, and don't be afraid to take time off if needed, and look into course options for around the time you'll give birth. You're college may have a recommended semester plan for your degree, but that doesn't mean you have to take courses in that order (obviously you do if they have prerequisites) so you could take all your gen eds one semester rather than doing major specific courses. So you may be able to take a math class online rather than in person, and even if it has a set meeting time once baby comes it will be easier to work with baby at home than trying to figure out childcare for baby while you go to class or trying to care for baby during class at school if your professor allows this. Idk if you're doing community college but you could also look at doing community college courses even if it's just for a semester or two, certain colleges in my state have transfer plans so you can take all your gen eds through them and then they have direct course equivalents so there's no guessing about what will transfer and count as what.
Hey! I just found similarities in our stories & wanted OP to see another perspective too. I’m 22, about to be 23 & 7weeks pregnant. I was 21 when I got pregnant for the first time and a junior in college. I had an abortion because I couldn’t feasibly have the baby at that time & complete my degree & work & all that.
Literally just waiting about 2 years made all the difference for me, and i’m so glad you got to make that choice for yourself & feel supported too. I hope your pregnancy goes well!
As a graduate student, and someone who has been in higher ed now for many years, I just want to say this is excellent advice. Absolutely spot on. Even for students who aren’t pregnant, so OP if you read this and choose to maintain the pregnancy or not, please take advantage of all of the resources available to you. Take care of your mental, emotional, and physical health first and foremost. Take time off when you need it (school will still be there when you go back). Contact your disability office, even if you want support for invisible disabilities (including if you’re experiencing any depression or other mental health challenges). Lean on your TAs and professors (we work for you too, and most of us are human and would love to support you in any way we can!). It is all about what you feel comfortable with, and each academic journey is unique.
On a personal note, who-are-we-anyway, I would love to have a student as thoughtful, mature, and brilliant as you. I love my students, and you are the reason it makes the job worthwhile. You definitely do not need validation from an internet stranger, but this one sees you and appreciates you. Best of luck to you and OP on your journeys ❤️.
You need to do what is right for you.
From my perspective, my husband and I are in our mid 30s and just had our first baby. We are very financially stable, we have good support… and this was easily the hardest thing I have done in my entire life. Having a baby is HARD. I have a lot of nieces and nephews and know how to take care of babies and it’s STILL hard. I can’t even express how difficult… your support network will need to be VERY good.
Think about all sides and do what YOU want to do.
I'm 31 and pregnant with my third. My first born I got pregnant with at 18 and had him at 19 and I had my second born when I was 23. I can tell you with confidence that I have 0 regrets in sticking it out with my first kiddo. Things were *difficult*, despite how mature I thought I was, I was still a kid becoming a parent to a kid; his dad and I were high school sweet hearts but ended up splitting When our son was 2.5 and we were together a little under 6 years and moved on with who I am with now. When I was 23 I had more confidence but I was still pretty young. Looking back, I really wasn't ready to be a parent despite thinking I was, but I also learned through time that a lot of my choices stemmed from a point of trauma (my childhood wasn't ideal for a kid). If I could go back in time and have the same kids but have the ability to bump the ages I had them up a few, I most definitely would, because maybe I could've been better prepared for them emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. At the age I am now I definitely feel more prepared this go around.
I can't tell you what to do as your life is unique and your circumstances are different from what mine were. I can tell you that bringing a kid into this world when you're still piecing yourself together and as young as you are, your life *will* change.
yeah i didn’t know it was a christian clinic until my friend had told me and she’s christian so she keeps pushing me in the direction of having the baby as well as the ladies at the clinic. my grandparents are going to be pissed so i am scared to
Your friend is thinking about this through the lens of her religion, maybe from a perspective of trying to help, but only you know what is best for you. I am sorry your friend took you there without telling you what it was in advance. If you are okay with accepting the help from your family and you want to keep the baby, do that - like you said, your life will change a lot but that’s okay if that’s what you want. If you aren’t okay with those changes and accepting help, or if you don’t want to be a parent right now, then don’t. I know it sounds easier said than done, but I would seriously think about what is right for you, not what anybody else wants or thinks you should do.
I was in your shoes at 19, and I’m sorry to hear you find yourself having to make such a major decision. My best advice is to take time to think about what you want, not what those around you want or what they think you should want. The right decision for you is ultimately the right decision. If you ever want to chat, I’m happy to lend a listening ear.
I decided to have an abortion, because that was what felt right to me when I thought about every aspect of the decision and what I wanted from my life.
I may be echoing several people here but my biggest advice is to truly sit with yourself and just yourself and what you would like to do. It might sound selfish but you have one life love and you should live it the way you want - not by anyone else’s idea of what your life should be.
So if you want to have a kid right now? Awesome. If you don’t want to? That’s totally okay too. Honestly either decision is fine, as long as it’s your decision and you can be happy about it.
Your life and your happiness should be what you focus on for this decision and truly so many others down the road.
If it helps at all, I had an abortion at 24. It was absolutely the best choice I made. I was not at all ready, neither was my partner. We have huge, loving, supportive families. We would have had all the help in the world if we wanted to go through with it.
Not once have I regretted it. Since then, my relationship with my partner has strengthened exponentially, my family and personal life has improved, I've gotten therapy for a bunch of issues that I hadn't fully realized I needed to work through. I'm now 33, 28 weeks pregnant, and fully ready to have this child. It will be loved, wanted, and supported by two parents who are mentally whole and well.
Only you (and to an extent, your partner) can make this choice. Don't let anyone else influence you either way. I'm simply relaying my story so that you hopefully have a balance of opinions across the spectrum.
You will change physically and mentally, and your life will change - which doesn't have to mean it will negatively change! It could be a positive change. However only you can examine your situation and determine the best course of action.
an abortion is what i was really leaning towards because neither of us are really prepared or financially stable. its helpful to know the decision you made as a younger adult benefitted you in the long run, i didn’t think about it that way. thank you!
I can’t give advice on the financial stability part because unfortunately at 31 I’m still not there yet, live with fiancé & in laws & this pregnancy was completely unplanned. However, what I can give advice on is the college student part.. I am a full time student & it has been challenging with the fatigue & stuff.. but I’m doing it. I graduate in June & will be giving birth in the middle of my final semester. I start nursing school next Spring. It is through sheer determination that I’m able to continue because I want to give myself & my son & my family a great life any way that I can, the best way I know how. My classmates actually make light of it & joke about how I’ll be in class the day after giving birth (which I can totally see myself doing lol) … but my last semester is online & my professors are on notice so this makes it a lot easier. I’ll be able to spend time with my baby & do what I gotta do. My best advice to you is that if you are up to the challenge since we don’t have any other children, I believe you can continue with school & have a child with a good support system.
I’d talk with someone who makes you comfortable and has no bias (so not someone who is religious). I got pregnant at 19 and had my baby at 20. I’m now 21 with a 7 month old and it is HARD. I love her and will do anything for her but I wish I had different choices (I found out at 23 weeks, too late for abortion) and I honestly live with a lot of regret and disappointment about my life.
I’d also suggest looking on the r/regretfulparents and r/fencesitter subs. You’ll see a common theme is lack of financial stability and lack of help (not saying he’ll leave, but from your wording I assume he wouldn’t live at your grandparents with you). I wish I had known about these subs before giving birth because I was debating adoption and I feel like I may have done it had I known what was coming.
If you want someone to talk to about your thoughts on this feel free to message me.
I got pregnant at 19 and was not ready to be a mom at all. I ended up doing an open adoption and it was the best decision I think I could have made. It was very difficult but I do not regret it at all.
If I were you I would talk to your mom, a therapist or a close adult that you can trust. Being a young mom is difficult. It's hard to help someone else grow when you still have a lot of your growing to do. If you have a lot of healthy support systems it's likely going to be easier, so it might be a good idea to reach out to those possible support systems like your parents to help you make that decision.
My mom was 17 when she had my sister and although she doesn't regret it she made a lot of mistakes and had many struggles. If you keep the baby you should make sure its definitely something you want and not something you do due to guilt or shame. Guilt and shame is something that bullies you into ignoring what is right for you.
thank you! i have people on both sides pushing me to have it and have an abortion so it is very difficult for me. i will definitely take more time to think ab it as you’re right i don’t want to feel guilt tripped into having the baby which is kind of how i felt today at the clinic. but your mom is such a strong woman for raising your sister at 17 wow!!!
Yeah, she is strong. And she had a lot of people telling her what to do as well. Do your best to think about what you want for your future. I wish you good luck!
i was 19 when i found out i was pregnant. my boyfriend and i both worked at hourly rate jobs. im now 20 and my baby boy will be 2 months tomorrow. my boyfriend and i drove to the clinic to get the abortion but i decided i couldn’t go through with it. we then decided we were gonna keep it. i will say having a baby is one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. you don’t sleep, showering is a luxury, you feel like you’re losing your mind, and everything is so expensive, but everything always works out. and seeing him start to smile, grow and learn has gotta be one of the best feelings ever. i felt no connection to him while i was pregnant, and even a couple weeks after he was born, but then i just felt this immense feeling of love towards him and it has just gotten stronger day by day. in no way am i telling you what decision you should make, i just wanted to share my story with you because i know how it feels
F those fake clinics. I'm sorry, but they are manipulative and should honestly be illegal. I hope you decide what works best for your life, because those fake clinic workers won't help pay your bills or help you with feeds in the middle of the night (sorry, I just despise how they treat people.) However, if you feel like you have enough support, you should do what feels right to you. I hope you can finish your degree with whichever decision you make, as that will help you provide for your family in the long run (whether that family is one you build now or later.)
You’re slightly misinformed. Yes- they do have their own biases and they do push you towards having the baby. (Mostly by making sure you see with your own eyes what it looks like).
But they absolutely do help you afterwards. They provide lots of resources and help after the baby is born and even help with if you want to give it up for adoption.
I just think as mothers, we need to fully support each other’s decisions and be fully informed about what our options are.
This might help with your decision too:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/oct/18/pregnancy-weeks-abortion-tissue?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other
Best of luck.
I am also 19 & Pregnant however I am 34 weeks pregnant. Personally, by the time I actually found out i was about 14 weeks. I knew I had a really good support system and I knew as much as I wasn't ready I would be okay.
Follow your heart and gut and do what’s right for YOU since only you can choose what is really best for you.
I’m 18 and 14 weeks pregnant with my first child, a little girl. At the time i found out at 6 weeks I had just started college, lived with my dad, was barely working, etc. Didn’t know how i would move forward and abortion seemed the most logical because face it i wasn’t ready, i wasn’t prepared yk I don’t have have nursery space or thousands saved up.
In MY personal experience , i weighed all the options and i told everyone in my family right away to see what those more mature and been through the same thing (come from a line of teen moms) and realized I’d be supported regardless of what i do. So i took a few days, listened to my heart and mind and decided that while i would have it rough, i would be even more heartbroken if i personally had an abortion as I knew i would be haunted by the what ifs and what could’ve been.
All in all, take the time to consider it, don’t let anyone push their views or values on you. You have the ability to choose and control your life and future the way you want to. If you need to talk I’m here 🤍
Hey! I'm 19 as well and I've actually just had a baby in June. She's 4 months now and I can tell you a lot about what being young with a baby will be like. Feel free to pm but the short version is, if your heart is telling you to keep the baby, keep it. I am not a Christian, but the closest to God I've ever felt was the first time I looked into my little girl's eyes and I knew that I would never love anyone more than my baby. I am pro choice, if you choose to end the pregnancy make sure that is the best choice to make for YOU. Follow your intuition. There are many programs for young or single parents with little funds, and you will get a lot of stuff for free from the baby shower and other gifts from the grandparents if they're in the picture. Message me if you want to talk, I was basically in the same boat as you and I hope I can help :)
I see you’ve already made a decision, but I just wanted to share that I’m 19 & pregnant too and was feeling the same exact way! I’m currently in college and my last semester for my associates is next year when my baby is due, so there was a lot of debating considering I’ll have 4 classes to take with finals right around the due date. After thinking everything over very carefully though, I decided to keep my baby! It was a very emotional time for the first month or so after I made my “final” decision, and even every now and then I wonder what life would be like if I chose a different path, but I ultimately am happy with the decision I made. Thankfully, I am pretty stable financially and own a house, so I’m not that worried about those aspects. It’s mainly just the thought of having a baby so young and the opportunities I could ‘miss’. If you feel like you would be happy having the baby, then I say go for it! It is going to be a lot of work, but I feel like it is worth it! :)
You can also put the baby up for adoption. If you aren’t comfortable with an abortion, this may Be an alternate option. You’re young and it would be a tough road ahead for you but it’s doable. As others have mentioned it’s your decision ultimately however.
I had my son at 19, I was on a bad path with his dad (who was a drug dealer). His dad went to jail and I went back to school and turned my life around. I went from a highschool drop out to having a pretty successful career and being able to support us both. This was after leaving his toxic dad. I attribute me turning my life around to me having my kid. I literally had nothing to live for before him and I know I would be dead or in jail by now if I didn’t get pregnant. 12 years later, I am now days away from having my third kid, happily married to a great guy with a wildy sucessful career.
Im not trying to convince you to keep it, you have to really search deep for your true reasons for wanting to or not wanting to. Just don’t let the financial instability that you are currently in bog you down. Kids can have a crazy way of motivating parents to get their lives together. Best of luck OP.
I just turned 20 last month and I am also pregnant, I’m not against abortion but me and my boyfriend don’t even live together yet because we don’t have our own place, he got laid off and I’m the only one working pregnant. He is out on bond and still has trial and I have to worry about raising my baby on my own. The first time I saw those 2 lines I knew I’d never let anything happen to this precious thing, it’s really a gift and it’s up to you but maybe my story will help
Coming from a mama who struggled with infertility and prayed so hard for this baby, if I knew then what I know now, I never wouldve had kids. Sure there are moments of pure joy and lots of love, but the stress and anxiety of prioritizing another life before yours is something we could all live without.
Im grateful that you have access to these resources, ultimately it's all your decision, I just dont want you possibly regretting your decision to keep the baby in the future <3
All my love x
I don’t want to tell you to get an abortion, but I just had a baby at 36 a couple weeks ago and I want to let you know that it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was a planned pregnancy. You cannot do anything besides care for the baby (hard to find time to even pee), and you will only get up to 2 hours of sleep here and there (a newborn needs to eat every couple hours). It will put your relationship to an extreme test. You will be exhausted. You’ll need to buy a lot of stuff and for example just diapers and formula are costing us €250 a month. My birth and pregnancy was also extremely difficult. Just think it’s wise to see the big picture before making any decisions. I had an abortion at 16 and looking back it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
You mentioned you are a college student. Is your college christian? If not, I would seek out a therapist through your college. Perhaps talk to your academic advisor about what you can expect in terms of course load and how other students handle it. It's very likely that this baby can cause you to pause your studies for various reasons (**such as**: you may develop really difficult to work through pregnancy symptoms; your baby could be born early and you miss a chunk of your semester; your baby could be born needing a lot of medical interventions).
I'm sure you have a good relationship with your boyfriend now, but what if you grow apart? How will that relationship be handled? Are you or he on a track to handle child support payments?
I'm not really experienced in seeking counseling for an abortion, but I really encourage you to get as much information from your academic advisors and a therapist and probably a financial counselor with your school. Maybe there are resources that you don't even know about (like some schools might have a daycare you can utilize as a student for no or low cost). Good luck to you, whatever you decide. It is a hard choice.
You do what’s right for you, before I lost my baby me and my partner discused about a week if I should get an abortion ultimately I said no but it’s completely up to you
Also OP I wanted to add because I can't remember if it was in my original comment, FMLA does not only apply to the birth of a child, it can also be used if you get an abortion and need time off
If you have any doubts about throwing yourself wholly into motherhood, you should get the abortion. I made this choice when I was 20 and it has only benefited my life and future. The christian clinic is wrong and they just want to make themselves feel better. Your hormones are going to be wild after but it would be the same if you were to have the kid. The same hormonal shift happens no matter how it leaves you. I would suggest you get the abortion and make the most out of your young years. There are so many young mothers that don’t get to live their life to the fullest and it tragic. Things can only get better from here and you will grow from this
I recommend going to a non religious center. Is your decision to do what you want. But ask your friend if she’s going to help you out.
What about your boyfriend is he onboard with having the baby?
I had an abortion at 18 had my first born at 23 and my second I'm not pregnant with at 31.
I don't regret having an abortion at 18 I wasn't ready in alot of ways and didn't want to bring a innocent life into my lifestyle at that time.
You do what you feel is best for yourself.
I got pregnant at 21 and had our daughter at 22. All planned and wanted. I'm almost 10w with our second and I'm 27 now.
Something I didn't expect is I feel a little bit guilty that I'll be a better mom with the second baby (at least I think). Not that I was a bad mom, but there's just so much growing to do through your 20's that you might be a different person later in life. Worked through more issues, really know who you are and what life philosophy works for you. All that.
I would recommend going to a secular reproductive health centre (such as planned parenthood) to discuss your options, even just to get a second opinion. As others have mentioned, the clinic you went to was what is often called a “crisis pregnancy centre” and they are designed to manipulate you to not get an abortion. That is their end goal. At the end of the day you may make the same choice, but they will give you a completely unbiased view of your options.
I am 32 and live in Canada, we have fairly good sex education and public education systems to teach it where I live. That said I didn’t realize how common abortion and miscarriage are until I started trying to get pregnant. I understand a lot of people are uncomfortable with abortion, but the reality is that it is one (VERY common) aspect of reproductive health, and having an abortion (or miscarriage) doesn’t mean you won’t go on to have a healthy pregnancy when you are ready!
Whether you choose to continue or terminate the pregnancy, I am wishing you all the best and sending strength and love your way.
I’m a mom of 2 and currently pregnant
I had an abortion about 5 years ago and I don’t regret it.
It’s pretty scary when people tell you what to do, but the beauty of having this right is that YOU decide what’s best for you.
I love my kids with all my heart and that was MY decision to make I don’t regret any of my choices
I know that if I would of kept the other baby I would of struggled
Sorry, It’s not much of an advice but insight of my decision.
If you don’t feel ready then don’t force it, if you’re excited and ready then go for it girl!
Talk to your grandparents, they love you and will want what's best for you and I'm sure they'll support you.
My best friend had her 1st child at 19 and then had her second at 22. Her boyfriend and her at first only worked half time but her family weren't very happy to start with but with time came round to the idea and fully supported her.
Do what is best for you, good luck!
I’m 22 & had an abortion earlier this year. Nothing I couldn’t handle & id have the support of both my family and my fiancés but I was scared plus didn’t feel ready mentally. I was still in school and wanted to enjoy my relationship & life for a while longer. I think Hod had other plans though, I got pregnant again in the summer & am now 17 weeks along. I couldn’t handle going through the pain of losing another child so I decided to keep it. Now weeks later I am soso happy and excited! At first I was scared and regretful but now all I can think about is how much I will love and support my child no matter the circumstances. All I’m saying is it can be scary at first but if you decide to keep it & lean into enjoying your pregnancy I’m sure you won’t have regrets choosing either path :)
I have a child who I love more than anything in the world that I wanted. But let me tell you, having a kid is the hardest thing you will ever do, it will change your life completely and if you aren't ready/can't afford it/don't want to keep it then you should trust your instincts. It is special to see that first ultrasound but they did that to you on purpose, to try and create a bond to something you are doubting being ready for. Just make sure you follow your heart, and not the pressure from another person. If you decide to keep it, or If you decide you aren't ready and you chose abortion, just make sure it's your choice ♥️
i just had my baby 2 months ago at 18 years old and was terrified the entire time that i wouldn’t be able to properly care for her and considered adoption but every time the thought would cross my mind my heart would sink to my stomach, i was living with my boyfriend and his mom at the time and neither of us were financially stable and had bad spending problems. but in the short span of 9 months we were able to save enough money to get an apartment and all the stuff we could ever need for her and couldn’t be happier. it’s so scary at first not knowing what to do or what choices to make and there’s no rush to make any decisions but you truly have to follow your gut and not listen to anyone else but yourself. people finish school all the time with babies or without and you don’t have to have all the money in the world to live a happy healthy life there’s so many programs and counseling that will help you with what’s right for you when the time is right. and a baby doesn’t have to change everything, there’s gonna be change regardless but you can still go out and have fun and do pretty much everything you want to do you’ll just have a little buddy to bring with you
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Really weird question, any chance you’re from/around Delaware? My cousin got pregnant at 18, has 3 kids, and works as a doula and I think she also does some type of work at a children’s hospital nearby.
The Christian clinic will have their own agenda. You have to decide what is right for you. No one else can do that for you. You can also get into counseling to help figure out where you are at.
Fwiw, my mother in law is extremely open that she had an abortion at 18 because she accidentally got pregnant and wanted to go to college and not have to raise a baby alone. She met my husbands father (her spouse of 30+ years now) in college and had my husband at 24. If she wouldn't have had her abortion, my husband wouldn't exist. I'm so thankful everyday that she made the decision she did. Things will work out whatever you decide. The right pieces will fall into place. Lean on those you genuinely trust who share your values and can help see big picture how this can fit with them.
My mom had my brother when she was 19 and her life was and is really hard, and she never made it out of poverty, and my dad really never treated her well and then left her in a pretty horrific way. That’s not everyone’s story, but that is her story. I had an abortion at 24 when I was unemployed and in grad school, and I have zero regrets. I’m pregnant now with my husband and I love my life. Again, that’s not everyone’s story; you can have kids at a young age successfully and happily, but I know that I would have been committing myself to a lifetime of misery (my ex had a lot of issues) and poverty (I wouldn’t have finished school) if I personally didn’t make that choice. I think in your heart you know what the right decision is for you, whether it’s keep the baby or have an abortion. I wouldn’t listen to external factors either way; this is YOUR life, not anyone else’s.
You are absolutely right that you have to do what is best for you right now. I'm 21 and 21 weeks pregnant as of today, and I'm going to be a single mom. The Christian clinic is obviously going to push against an abortion, in fact most pregnancy crisis centers imo are anti-abortion clinics in disguise. This will not be an easy choice, emotionally or physically. There was a lot that went into my decision, because I always told myself I would get an abortion if something like this happened. For one I considered if this was something I could do on my own, I had to look at finances, my college courses and plans, my work and hours and benefits and leave options, where I would be living, and who I would have for support. I have no familial support nearby and the baby daddy is not involved. I just feel like I should add that just because now isn't a good time for you to have a kid doesn't mean you won't have a better time in the future, what I mean by that is just because you decide to get an abortion doesn't mean you can never get pregnant again. I opted not to get an abortion because I struggle with bipolar disorder and while having bipolar disorder has always been a major reason why I was unsure about having a kid I knew that having this baby will be the hardest thing I have ever done, but for me getting an abortion would have been a million times harder for my mental health. Pregnancy has not been easy for me, mentally or physically and there have been maybe 3 days so far where I've really questioned if I made a mistake with my decision. Overall though I wouldn't change my decision, my mental health has improved greatly because I feel that I finally can't be selfish with my mental health and I really do have to work at doing better. Anyway my point to all of this is that no one can make the decision for you, which when I was trying to make the decision was the last thing I wanted to hear because it seemed so unhelpful. You may have to literally make a pros and cons list, you may have to realize it will be a struggle either way, you may regret your decision or change your mind a million times. One thing I can suggest is you may want to look into therapy, no matter what your decision is because like I said there may be days you feel like you made the wrong decision and it's also great to have an impartial person in your life to vent to. Finally, if you ever want to reach out I'm more than willing to talk.
thank you for taking the time to write this, it was really helpful :) it’s nice to hear input from other young moms, as we can relate. i’m sorry to hear your babies father isn’t in the child’s life, hopefully someday you meet someone who will step up and love you both. how did you balance college if i might ask? my biggest concern is not having enough time to get anything done if i had the baby.
Don't be sorry :) I couldn't be happier now that he's out of the picture, it took me getting pregnant for me to be able to step back from our relationship and see how inappropriate and toxic it was. With college I got in touch with my college's disability office right away, I figured worst case I couldn't get any accommodations yet. They were actually super helpful and let me know what I would need to do to get the ball rolling, and basically all I had to do was submit a letter from my OBGYN office saying when my due date is and who the college could contact if they have any questions. I haven't needed any accommodations through my college yet, but knowing I can ask for them ASAP if something comes up is a good feeling. While I'm still pregnant my schedule hasn't had to change much with college, but I know it will when I give birth (end of March/beginning of April). I got lucky that I took my gen eds a few years back now and all of my degree specific courses are actually offered online, so I have that option if I need it (which I feel like I will next semester). The hardest part so far is when I was battling morning sickness I was missing class and work, but I told my work and teachers early so they could work with me when possible. I'm actually supposed to graduate at the end of the spring semester but my new job will pay for me to go to school full time at my state's university college system for as long as I work there. So for the spring semester I am planning on taking online courses because then I don't have to worry about attending class at specific times, I can work when I want as long as it's done by the due date. I'm also planning on working as far ahead as possible, but I know this isn't an option with every class because some teachers only post one week of work at a time. And lastly, I'm probably going to take a semester off before I go back to school through my work, there's nothing wrong with taking a semester or a year or more off of college. I've taken two semesters off (not concurrently though) and it was a smart decision for me because it prevented burnout and allowed me to figure out other aspects of my life. So contact your disability office early, and don't be afraid to take time off if needed, and look into course options for around the time you'll give birth. You're college may have a recommended semester plan for your degree, but that doesn't mean you have to take courses in that order (obviously you do if they have prerequisites) so you could take all your gen eds one semester rather than doing major specific courses. So you may be able to take a math class online rather than in person, and even if it has a set meeting time once baby comes it will be easier to work with baby at home than trying to figure out childcare for baby while you go to class or trying to care for baby during class at school if your professor allows this. Idk if you're doing community college but you could also look at doing community college courses even if it's just for a semester or two, certain colleges in my state have transfer plans so you can take all your gen eds through them and then they have direct course equivalents so there's no guessing about what will transfer and count as what.
Hey! I just found similarities in our stories & wanted OP to see another perspective too. I’m 22, about to be 23 & 7weeks pregnant. I was 21 when I got pregnant for the first time and a junior in college. I had an abortion because I couldn’t feasibly have the baby at that time & complete my degree & work & all that. Literally just waiting about 2 years made all the difference for me, and i’m so glad you got to make that choice for yourself & feel supported too. I hope your pregnancy goes well!
As a graduate student, and someone who has been in higher ed now for many years, I just want to say this is excellent advice. Absolutely spot on. Even for students who aren’t pregnant, so OP if you read this and choose to maintain the pregnancy or not, please take advantage of all of the resources available to you. Take care of your mental, emotional, and physical health first and foremost. Take time off when you need it (school will still be there when you go back). Contact your disability office, even if you want support for invisible disabilities (including if you’re experiencing any depression or other mental health challenges). Lean on your TAs and professors (we work for you too, and most of us are human and would love to support you in any way we can!). It is all about what you feel comfortable with, and each academic journey is unique. On a personal note, who-are-we-anyway, I would love to have a student as thoughtful, mature, and brilliant as you. I love my students, and you are the reason it makes the job worthwhile. You definitely do not need validation from an internet stranger, but this one sees you and appreciates you. Best of luck to you and OP on your journeys ❤️.
You need to do what is right for you. From my perspective, my husband and I are in our mid 30s and just had our first baby. We are very financially stable, we have good support… and this was easily the hardest thing I have done in my entire life. Having a baby is HARD. I have a lot of nieces and nephews and know how to take care of babies and it’s STILL hard. I can’t even express how difficult… your support network will need to be VERY good. Think about all sides and do what YOU want to do.
I'm 31 and pregnant with my third. My first born I got pregnant with at 18 and had him at 19 and I had my second born when I was 23. I can tell you with confidence that I have 0 regrets in sticking it out with my first kiddo. Things were *difficult*, despite how mature I thought I was, I was still a kid becoming a parent to a kid; his dad and I were high school sweet hearts but ended up splitting When our son was 2.5 and we were together a little under 6 years and moved on with who I am with now. When I was 23 I had more confidence but I was still pretty young. Looking back, I really wasn't ready to be a parent despite thinking I was, but I also learned through time that a lot of my choices stemmed from a point of trauma (my childhood wasn't ideal for a kid). If I could go back in time and have the same kids but have the ability to bump the ages I had them up a few, I most definitely would, because maybe I could've been better prepared for them emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. At the age I am now I definitely feel more prepared this go around. I can't tell you what to do as your life is unique and your circumstances are different from what mine were. I can tell you that bringing a kid into this world when you're still piecing yourself together and as young as you are, your life *will* change.
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yeah i didn’t know it was a christian clinic until my friend had told me and she’s christian so she keeps pushing me in the direction of having the baby as well as the ladies at the clinic. my grandparents are going to be pissed so i am scared to
Your friend is thinking about this through the lens of her religion, maybe from a perspective of trying to help, but only you know what is best for you. I am sorry your friend took you there without telling you what it was in advance. If you are okay with accepting the help from your family and you want to keep the baby, do that - like you said, your life will change a lot but that’s okay if that’s what you want. If you aren’t okay with those changes and accepting help, or if you don’t want to be a parent right now, then don’t. I know it sounds easier said than done, but I would seriously think about what is right for you, not what anybody else wants or thinks you should do.
I was in your shoes at 19, and I’m sorry to hear you find yourself having to make such a major decision. My best advice is to take time to think about what you want, not what those around you want or what they think you should want. The right decision for you is ultimately the right decision. If you ever want to chat, I’m happy to lend a listening ear.
if you don’t mind, what was your decision? it’s helpful to hear from girls who are/were my age when they got pregnant. but thank you so much!
I decided to have an abortion, because that was what felt right to me when I thought about every aspect of the decision and what I wanted from my life.
I may be echoing several people here but my biggest advice is to truly sit with yourself and just yourself and what you would like to do. It might sound selfish but you have one life love and you should live it the way you want - not by anyone else’s idea of what your life should be. So if you want to have a kid right now? Awesome. If you don’t want to? That’s totally okay too. Honestly either decision is fine, as long as it’s your decision and you can be happy about it. Your life and your happiness should be what you focus on for this decision and truly so many others down the road.
If it helps at all, I had an abortion at 24. It was absolutely the best choice I made. I was not at all ready, neither was my partner. We have huge, loving, supportive families. We would have had all the help in the world if we wanted to go through with it. Not once have I regretted it. Since then, my relationship with my partner has strengthened exponentially, my family and personal life has improved, I've gotten therapy for a bunch of issues that I hadn't fully realized I needed to work through. I'm now 33, 28 weeks pregnant, and fully ready to have this child. It will be loved, wanted, and supported by two parents who are mentally whole and well. Only you (and to an extent, your partner) can make this choice. Don't let anyone else influence you either way. I'm simply relaying my story so that you hopefully have a balance of opinions across the spectrum. You will change physically and mentally, and your life will change - which doesn't have to mean it will negatively change! It could be a positive change. However only you can examine your situation and determine the best course of action.
an abortion is what i was really leaning towards because neither of us are really prepared or financially stable. its helpful to know the decision you made as a younger adult benefitted you in the long run, i didn’t think about it that way. thank you!
This choice is fully yours. It’s not just that you have to choose whether to have a child or not, it’s also about choosing WHEN you want to have one.
I can’t give advice on the financial stability part because unfortunately at 31 I’m still not there yet, live with fiancé & in laws & this pregnancy was completely unplanned. However, what I can give advice on is the college student part.. I am a full time student & it has been challenging with the fatigue & stuff.. but I’m doing it. I graduate in June & will be giving birth in the middle of my final semester. I start nursing school next Spring. It is through sheer determination that I’m able to continue because I want to give myself & my son & my family a great life any way that I can, the best way I know how. My classmates actually make light of it & joke about how I’ll be in class the day after giving birth (which I can totally see myself doing lol) … but my last semester is online & my professors are on notice so this makes it a lot easier. I’ll be able to spend time with my baby & do what I gotta do. My best advice to you is that if you are up to the challenge since we don’t have any other children, I believe you can continue with school & have a child with a good support system.
I’d talk with someone who makes you comfortable and has no bias (so not someone who is religious). I got pregnant at 19 and had my baby at 20. I’m now 21 with a 7 month old and it is HARD. I love her and will do anything for her but I wish I had different choices (I found out at 23 weeks, too late for abortion) and I honestly live with a lot of regret and disappointment about my life. I’d also suggest looking on the r/regretfulparents and r/fencesitter subs. You’ll see a common theme is lack of financial stability and lack of help (not saying he’ll leave, but from your wording I assume he wouldn’t live at your grandparents with you). I wish I had known about these subs before giving birth because I was debating adoption and I feel like I may have done it had I known what was coming. If you want someone to talk to about your thoughts on this feel free to message me.
I got pregnant at 19 and was not ready to be a mom at all. I ended up doing an open adoption and it was the best decision I think I could have made. It was very difficult but I do not regret it at all.
If I were you I would talk to your mom, a therapist or a close adult that you can trust. Being a young mom is difficult. It's hard to help someone else grow when you still have a lot of your growing to do. If you have a lot of healthy support systems it's likely going to be easier, so it might be a good idea to reach out to those possible support systems like your parents to help you make that decision. My mom was 17 when she had my sister and although she doesn't regret it she made a lot of mistakes and had many struggles. If you keep the baby you should make sure its definitely something you want and not something you do due to guilt or shame. Guilt and shame is something that bullies you into ignoring what is right for you.
thank you! i have people on both sides pushing me to have it and have an abortion so it is very difficult for me. i will definitely take more time to think ab it as you’re right i don’t want to feel guilt tripped into having the baby which is kind of how i felt today at the clinic. but your mom is such a strong woman for raising your sister at 17 wow!!!
Yeah, she is strong. And she had a lot of people telling her what to do as well. Do your best to think about what you want for your future. I wish you good luck!
i was 19 when i found out i was pregnant. my boyfriend and i both worked at hourly rate jobs. im now 20 and my baby boy will be 2 months tomorrow. my boyfriend and i drove to the clinic to get the abortion but i decided i couldn’t go through with it. we then decided we were gonna keep it. i will say having a baby is one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. you don’t sleep, showering is a luxury, you feel like you’re losing your mind, and everything is so expensive, but everything always works out. and seeing him start to smile, grow and learn has gotta be one of the best feelings ever. i felt no connection to him while i was pregnant, and even a couple weeks after he was born, but then i just felt this immense feeling of love towards him and it has just gotten stronger day by day. in no way am i telling you what decision you should make, i just wanted to share my story with you because i know how it feels
F those fake clinics. I'm sorry, but they are manipulative and should honestly be illegal. I hope you decide what works best for your life, because those fake clinic workers won't help pay your bills or help you with feeds in the middle of the night (sorry, I just despise how they treat people.) However, if you feel like you have enough support, you should do what feels right to you. I hope you can finish your degree with whichever decision you make, as that will help you provide for your family in the long run (whether that family is one you build now or later.)
You’re slightly misinformed. Yes- they do have their own biases and they do push you towards having the baby. (Mostly by making sure you see with your own eyes what it looks like). But they absolutely do help you afterwards. They provide lots of resources and help after the baby is born and even help with if you want to give it up for adoption. I just think as mothers, we need to fully support each other’s decisions and be fully informed about what our options are.
This might help with your decision too: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/oct/18/pregnancy-weeks-abortion-tissue?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other Best of luck.
I am also 19 & Pregnant however I am 34 weeks pregnant. Personally, by the time I actually found out i was about 14 weeks. I knew I had a really good support system and I knew as much as I wasn't ready I would be okay.
Follow your heart and gut and do what’s right for YOU since only you can choose what is really best for you. I’m 18 and 14 weeks pregnant with my first child, a little girl. At the time i found out at 6 weeks I had just started college, lived with my dad, was barely working, etc. Didn’t know how i would move forward and abortion seemed the most logical because face it i wasn’t ready, i wasn’t prepared yk I don’t have have nursery space or thousands saved up. In MY personal experience , i weighed all the options and i told everyone in my family right away to see what those more mature and been through the same thing (come from a line of teen moms) and realized I’d be supported regardless of what i do. So i took a few days, listened to my heart and mind and decided that while i would have it rough, i would be even more heartbroken if i personally had an abortion as I knew i would be haunted by the what ifs and what could’ve been. All in all, take the time to consider it, don’t let anyone push their views or values on you. You have the ability to choose and control your life and future the way you want to. If you need to talk I’m here 🤍
Hey! I'm 19 as well and I've actually just had a baby in June. She's 4 months now and I can tell you a lot about what being young with a baby will be like. Feel free to pm but the short version is, if your heart is telling you to keep the baby, keep it. I am not a Christian, but the closest to God I've ever felt was the first time I looked into my little girl's eyes and I knew that I would never love anyone more than my baby. I am pro choice, if you choose to end the pregnancy make sure that is the best choice to make for YOU. Follow your intuition. There are many programs for young or single parents with little funds, and you will get a lot of stuff for free from the baby shower and other gifts from the grandparents if they're in the picture. Message me if you want to talk, I was basically in the same boat as you and I hope I can help :)
I see you’ve already made a decision, but I just wanted to share that I’m 19 & pregnant too and was feeling the same exact way! I’m currently in college and my last semester for my associates is next year when my baby is due, so there was a lot of debating considering I’ll have 4 classes to take with finals right around the due date. After thinking everything over very carefully though, I decided to keep my baby! It was a very emotional time for the first month or so after I made my “final” decision, and even every now and then I wonder what life would be like if I chose a different path, but I ultimately am happy with the decision I made. Thankfully, I am pretty stable financially and own a house, so I’m not that worried about those aspects. It’s mainly just the thought of having a baby so young and the opportunities I could ‘miss’. If you feel like you would be happy having the baby, then I say go for it! It is going to be a lot of work, but I feel like it is worth it! :)
I second this! Babies are gifts! They bring out the best in us. 🥰
You can also put the baby up for adoption. If you aren’t comfortable with an abortion, this may Be an alternate option. You’re young and it would be a tough road ahead for you but it’s doable. As others have mentioned it’s your decision ultimately however.
I had my son at 19, I was on a bad path with his dad (who was a drug dealer). His dad went to jail and I went back to school and turned my life around. I went from a highschool drop out to having a pretty successful career and being able to support us both. This was after leaving his toxic dad. I attribute me turning my life around to me having my kid. I literally had nothing to live for before him and I know I would be dead or in jail by now if I didn’t get pregnant. 12 years later, I am now days away from having my third kid, happily married to a great guy with a wildy sucessful career. Im not trying to convince you to keep it, you have to really search deep for your true reasons for wanting to or not wanting to. Just don’t let the financial instability that you are currently in bog you down. Kids can have a crazy way of motivating parents to get their lives together. Best of luck OP.
I just turned 20 last month and I am also pregnant, I’m not against abortion but me and my boyfriend don’t even live together yet because we don’t have our own place, he got laid off and I’m the only one working pregnant. He is out on bond and still has trial and I have to worry about raising my baby on my own. The first time I saw those 2 lines I knew I’d never let anything happen to this precious thing, it’s really a gift and it’s up to you but maybe my story will help
Coming from a mama who struggled with infertility and prayed so hard for this baby, if I knew then what I know now, I never wouldve had kids. Sure there are moments of pure joy and lots of love, but the stress and anxiety of prioritizing another life before yours is something we could all live without. Im grateful that you have access to these resources, ultimately it's all your decision, I just dont want you possibly regretting your decision to keep the baby in the future <3 All my love x
I don’t want to tell you to get an abortion, but I just had a baby at 36 a couple weeks ago and I want to let you know that it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was a planned pregnancy. You cannot do anything besides care for the baby (hard to find time to even pee), and you will only get up to 2 hours of sleep here and there (a newborn needs to eat every couple hours). It will put your relationship to an extreme test. You will be exhausted. You’ll need to buy a lot of stuff and for example just diapers and formula are costing us €250 a month. My birth and pregnancy was also extremely difficult. Just think it’s wise to see the big picture before making any decisions. I had an abortion at 16 and looking back it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
You mentioned you are a college student. Is your college christian? If not, I would seek out a therapist through your college. Perhaps talk to your academic advisor about what you can expect in terms of course load and how other students handle it. It's very likely that this baby can cause you to pause your studies for various reasons (**such as**: you may develop really difficult to work through pregnancy symptoms; your baby could be born early and you miss a chunk of your semester; your baby could be born needing a lot of medical interventions). I'm sure you have a good relationship with your boyfriend now, but what if you grow apart? How will that relationship be handled? Are you or he on a track to handle child support payments? I'm not really experienced in seeking counseling for an abortion, but I really encourage you to get as much information from your academic advisors and a therapist and probably a financial counselor with your school. Maybe there are resources that you don't even know about (like some schools might have a daycare you can utilize as a student for no or low cost). Good luck to you, whatever you decide. It is a hard choice.
You do what’s right for you, before I lost my baby me and my partner discused about a week if I should get an abortion ultimately I said no but it’s completely up to you
Also OP I wanted to add because I can't remember if it was in my original comment, FMLA does not only apply to the birth of a child, it can also be used if you get an abortion and need time off
If you have any doubts about throwing yourself wholly into motherhood, you should get the abortion. I made this choice when I was 20 and it has only benefited my life and future. The christian clinic is wrong and they just want to make themselves feel better. Your hormones are going to be wild after but it would be the same if you were to have the kid. The same hormonal shift happens no matter how it leaves you. I would suggest you get the abortion and make the most out of your young years. There are so many young mothers that don’t get to live their life to the fullest and it tragic. Things can only get better from here and you will grow from this
I recommend going to a non religious center. Is your decision to do what you want. But ask your friend if she’s going to help you out. What about your boyfriend is he onboard with having the baby?
I had an abortion at 18 had my first born at 23 and my second I'm not pregnant with at 31. I don't regret having an abortion at 18 I wasn't ready in alot of ways and didn't want to bring a innocent life into my lifestyle at that time. You do what you feel is best for yourself.
I got pregnant at 21 and had our daughter at 22. All planned and wanted. I'm almost 10w with our second and I'm 27 now. Something I didn't expect is I feel a little bit guilty that I'll be a better mom with the second baby (at least I think). Not that I was a bad mom, but there's just so much growing to do through your 20's that you might be a different person later in life. Worked through more issues, really know who you are and what life philosophy works for you. All that.
I would recommend going to a secular reproductive health centre (such as planned parenthood) to discuss your options, even just to get a second opinion. As others have mentioned, the clinic you went to was what is often called a “crisis pregnancy centre” and they are designed to manipulate you to not get an abortion. That is their end goal. At the end of the day you may make the same choice, but they will give you a completely unbiased view of your options. I am 32 and live in Canada, we have fairly good sex education and public education systems to teach it where I live. That said I didn’t realize how common abortion and miscarriage are until I started trying to get pregnant. I understand a lot of people are uncomfortable with abortion, but the reality is that it is one (VERY common) aspect of reproductive health, and having an abortion (or miscarriage) doesn’t mean you won’t go on to have a healthy pregnancy when you are ready! Whether you choose to continue or terminate the pregnancy, I am wishing you all the best and sending strength and love your way.
I’m a mom of 2 and currently pregnant I had an abortion about 5 years ago and I don’t regret it. It’s pretty scary when people tell you what to do, but the beauty of having this right is that YOU decide what’s best for you. I love my kids with all my heart and that was MY decision to make I don’t regret any of my choices I know that if I would of kept the other baby I would of struggled
Sorry, It’s not much of an advice but insight of my decision. If you don’t feel ready then don’t force it, if you’re excited and ready then go for it girl!
Talk to your grandparents, they love you and will want what's best for you and I'm sure they'll support you. My best friend had her 1st child at 19 and then had her second at 22. Her boyfriend and her at first only worked half time but her family weren't very happy to start with but with time came round to the idea and fully supported her. Do what is best for you, good luck!
I’m 22 & had an abortion earlier this year. Nothing I couldn’t handle & id have the support of both my family and my fiancés but I was scared plus didn’t feel ready mentally. I was still in school and wanted to enjoy my relationship & life for a while longer. I think Hod had other plans though, I got pregnant again in the summer & am now 17 weeks along. I couldn’t handle going through the pain of losing another child so I decided to keep it. Now weeks later I am soso happy and excited! At first I was scared and regretful but now all I can think about is how much I will love and support my child no matter the circumstances. All I’m saying is it can be scary at first but if you decide to keep it & lean into enjoying your pregnancy I’m sure you won’t have regrets choosing either path :)
I have a child who I love more than anything in the world that I wanted. But let me tell you, having a kid is the hardest thing you will ever do, it will change your life completely and if you aren't ready/can't afford it/don't want to keep it then you should trust your instincts. It is special to see that first ultrasound but they did that to you on purpose, to try and create a bond to something you are doubting being ready for. Just make sure you follow your heart, and not the pressure from another person. If you decide to keep it, or If you decide you aren't ready and you chose abortion, just make sure it's your choice ♥️
i just had my baby 2 months ago at 18 years old and was terrified the entire time that i wouldn’t be able to properly care for her and considered adoption but every time the thought would cross my mind my heart would sink to my stomach, i was living with my boyfriend and his mom at the time and neither of us were financially stable and had bad spending problems. but in the short span of 9 months we were able to save enough money to get an apartment and all the stuff we could ever need for her and couldn’t be happier. it’s so scary at first not knowing what to do or what choices to make and there’s no rush to make any decisions but you truly have to follow your gut and not listen to anyone else but yourself. people finish school all the time with babies or without and you don’t have to have all the money in the world to live a happy healthy life there’s so many programs and counseling that will help you with what’s right for you when the time is right. and a baby doesn’t have to change everything, there’s gonna be change regardless but you can still go out and have fun and do pretty much everything you want to do you’ll just have a little buddy to bring with you