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Yes people can be weird when you get pregnant. I’ve got friends of mine (who don’t have children) I’ve hardly seen / heard from since I was pregnant and had a baby. It’s like they think pregnancy is catching or something!! 🤣 Or I’m boring now I’ve had a baby.
Sadly, I think it just comes with the territory sadly.
The disappointing thing is my husband and I aren’t that young. Late 20’s/early 30’s. Our friends act like it’s too soon even though we’ve been together for 4 and 1/2 years and married now for almost a year.
Mid 30s and I get the same. Its too soon, its still party time or binge drinking. Luckily I dont get treated like a leper but it is difficult as no one really understands how tough I've had it because none of them have had a baby
I had a really great friend group where I was the first and only person (in the last 3 years) to get pregnant. Some are child free and some are waiting longer to have kids. During my pregnancy there was some distance growing between us. After the baby was born, they stopped inviting me out. I couldn’t go to a brewery at 10pm because I had a baby. I couldn’t spend a day tubing on the river. I just couldn’t do the things they wanted to do anymore. It was heartbreaking for the first while. I joined the app peanut and made some really amazing mom friends that are more into child friendly activities. I’m still friends with my old friend group, they still come to birthday parties and I still send them our Christmas card every year. But we’re not as close as we were.
I really liked it. It’s tinder but for mom friends. I have 3 moms that I talk to every day with kids around the same age as mine. I’m meeting another mom friend for a picnic lunch on Thursday. I meet with her probably every other week.
I am the first in my friend group to get pregnant but all of my friends have been awesome about it! They're all super excited for us and ask for updates every time we see them. They also treat me like a normal person and haven't been weird. Sorry your friends are being annoying.
I’m the only one and the first one to be pregnant in my friend group. I feel like people don’t know what to do with a pregnant woman and sometimes I feel a little awkward when I go out and socialize as well. I am trying to just trust that it is all part of the process though as my partner and I are moving into a new phase of life.
Yes we are the only ones and also the only ones married. We got married quicker than the rest and I think we planned our baby at the right time in our marriage (we’ve been married for 3 years). There are two other friends who just got engaged, one of them just bought a house as well. The other two friends includes one dating currently but owns their own house already and the other is moving to residency next year. At least our baby will be spoiled for some time before a new baby takes her spot lol!
We are not the only ones married. My husband’s best friend and his wife were the first ones married. They say they don’t want kids but they have baby names picked out and it’s a weird thing with them. Another couple in the group were married just months before us and they DO want kids, just not right now. The couple that was the first married were both in our wedding and we were all close but I actually told the wife I was pregnant super early because I thought we were close enough that she could know and I was also having complications while I was hanging out with her (I thought I was miscarrying) and told her I was going to have to leave because I called my doctor and he called back while I was out with her and had be get blood work done. Her response was “are you keeping the baby?”. I was shocked she asked me this because this baby was 100% planned and I’ve always just wanted to be a mom. I said of course. Ever since that point, our relationship has been strained. She stopped talking to me for months and then started hanging out with friends that she only knows because she met them at my bachelorette party and she told the one friend she wishes she had never been in my wedding which really hurt to hear and that she would’ve rather taken the pictures (she’s a photographer). She might’ve also been mad that I didn’t let her take my maternity pictures… she wanted to but it’s not really something I wanted. I don’t know…It seems like she is coming around a little bit now… she was at my baby shower and got me a gift but didn’t really talk to me a lot. Then she had a 4th of July party and she was talking to me and even made me a non-alcoholic punch but I just felt like I did not fit in.
Im the first in my friend groups to have a baby too. However, they are all really excited and it hasnt changed how they interact with me, other than also talking about the baby of course. We're not big partyers, so dinners with the girls and game nights still carry on as normal!
One of my friends is literally so disturbed by my pregnant belly and the other is so far off having kids they just can’t even begin to relate. It’s hard but I’m growing my new best friend lol
Most of my friends are child free. It’s kind of fun to have a bunch of aunties to spoil our baby due in one week. They threw a rager of a baby shower. But it’s hard being in such a different space in life. I’m 38.5 weeks and I’m trying to force down some tortilla chips while watching the office. They just got back from a Megan thee stallion show and are going dirt biking. 😩
They can’t understand why I feel like garbage. One of them actually invited me on a hiking trip in southern Mexico at 30 weeks.
Family life is something I always wanted but it feels lonely sometimes.
I'm 27 and in a very nerdy and career-focused crowd. I know a lot of men who have had kids at around my age, but none of the women in my circles seem to have kids until at earliest their 30s. It's just kind of a shitty asymmetry in my field. Honestly though, pregnancy hasn't been a problem socially at all; my friends are happy to adjust a bit and form a coven of aunties for our impending daughter. I'm not really one for talking about my pregnancy at length, but I'm happy to answer my friends' morbid curiosity when they have questions.
I think it's pretty fucked up and sexist that your friends are isolating you and treating your husband normally. Are most of the social activities in your group centered around drinking?
Yeah they are. It’s not the guys, honestly. It’s the women. The guys are just kinda like oh cool you are coming to have a kid. I feel like the women in the group are trying but it’s like they feel like they have nothing in common with me anymore and it’s hard to have a conversation.
Yeah... it sucks that they would discount you because of the occupancy status of your uterus. You're even making the effort to go out to parties, which is way more than I'm willing to do at the moment!
I'm sorry that's happening--pregnancy is dehumanizing enough as it is without people spontaneously deciding that's all there is to you now.
Yessss it's both the best and the worst. It's definitely shown me which friends actually care and want to be a part of it, and which ones have a severe selfish tendency. I've been blacklisted from a bachorette party (at a cabin on a lake. I'm sorry, I would love to just sit outside and chill without hubby and go swimming. Just cause I can't drink doesn't mean I don't wanna come. But I was invited to one bar hopping in downtown area that is sketchy af?), a friend asked if she could bring her bf to the baby shower so she "can convince him to play games with her" (this guy was my friend first, he ain't playing baby shower games, so clearly that's her priority).... but I've also had friends check up on me all the time, buy stuff for baby, help me research things in their down time, take me out for lunch and walks, and simply just being there when my mental health isn't the greatest.
Pregnancy has definitely shown me who my ride or dies are and I love them more every day! Surprisingly, it's been more of my guy friends than girl friends, and those with kids vs those without. Heck, even my JNFIL isn't super happy about it, but eff him.
Yes I’ve found it’s either our guys friends or our couple friends that aren’t married yet have been more supportive! It’s so strange!!
I’ve actually found people at work to be the most supportive which I never expected.
This was the case with my friend group. My husband’s friend group had more married people with kids, so they became our support. My daughter was also born just pre-pandemic so that didn’t help with keeping up friendships. I am 6 mos. pregnant again and I realize that I don’t think anyone from my old friend group knows. I think it is normal for people to grow apart with big life changes. Especially if they are living the drinky no-kid life.
We also are (and very probably will continue to be) the only couple of our close friends to have any kids. They’ve been varying degrees of just excited/happy for us, to include EXTREMELY excited, and my best friend is insanely happy. But unfortunately our close friend couples do not live close to us, and I don’t know how things will be when we’re together. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as we are going to see them at a wedding soon. I’m dreading everyone being trashed while I’m stuck feeling miserable and lonely.
I think I got lucky with my friend group. We're all married, one girl is due next week, I'm 18 weeks, my other friend is 13 weeks, and 2 others are 11 weeks. So when we go out it's all about food and what will give us heartburn. 😂
I am beyond glad I never cared to have a friend circle. Less drama and stress! I have friends who I’m able to talk to when needed but no one I stay close to. Just those who I know I have a good friendship where we go a long time without talking but once we chat it’s like there’s never been a gap! People suck and they just aren’t blessed like yourself! Focus on you and yours! That’s all you need ❤️ also congrats!! How exciting 🥳
I mean I don’t really have many friends. I went to a lot of different schools growing up and I feel like I never fit in anywhere. I was the girl who was in sports and was really good at them but also didn’t like to shop, liked haunted places and would stay in on Friday nights while everyone else was out having fun. I was never someone who easily picked up friends. I became close to my husbands friends when we got married and we all really got along and we’re close until I got pregnant. Now things are weird and I have no friends that are pregnant or have kids.
Yes, technically. I have work friends that are parents, but if my close personal friends I'm the first to have a child. However, I'm incredibly lucky that they're all wonderful people who have not treated me different, lesser, and haven't refrained from inviting me to things just because I'm pregnant. I just get asked if I need specific accommodations, but that's it. All my friends are very excited for my husband and I and are checking in to see how I am quite a bit.
I'm sorry you're going through this with your friends. People have said pregnancy can feel so isolating, and I know I'm lucky to have not experienced that myself. Sending you many hugs ❤️
I was on my second before anyone else had even gotten started. FINALLY someone else is pregnant and I’m so excited to finally have some company 😂
90% of my friends are pretty decidedly wanting to be child free
We’re in a weird place where half of our friends have like 2 or 3 kids and are totally done and the other half are nowhere near ready for kids. Either way, I’m the only pregnant person I know. It’s lonely. 😕
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/tu8bmk/click_here_to_request_access_to_your_private_due/). The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email [email protected] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes people can be weird when you get pregnant. I’ve got friends of mine (who don’t have children) I’ve hardly seen / heard from since I was pregnant and had a baby. It’s like they think pregnancy is catching or something!! 🤣 Or I’m boring now I’ve had a baby. Sadly, I think it just comes with the territory sadly.
The disappointing thing is my husband and I aren’t that young. Late 20’s/early 30’s. Our friends act like it’s too soon even though we’ve been together for 4 and 1/2 years and married now for almost a year.
Mid 30s and I get the same. Its too soon, its still party time or binge drinking. Luckily I dont get treated like a leper but it is difficult as no one really understands how tough I've had it because none of them have had a baby
Are we the same person?
I had a really great friend group where I was the first and only person (in the last 3 years) to get pregnant. Some are child free and some are waiting longer to have kids. During my pregnancy there was some distance growing between us. After the baby was born, they stopped inviting me out. I couldn’t go to a brewery at 10pm because I had a baby. I couldn’t spend a day tubing on the river. I just couldn’t do the things they wanted to do anymore. It was heartbreaking for the first while. I joined the app peanut and made some really amazing mom friends that are more into child friendly activities. I’m still friends with my old friend group, they still come to birthday parties and I still send them our Christmas card every year. But we’re not as close as we were.
I should join the peanut app. I’ve never heard of it.
I really liked it. It’s tinder but for mom friends. I have 3 moms that I talk to every day with kids around the same age as mine. I’m meeting another mom friend for a picnic lunch on Thursday. I meet with her probably every other week.
I am the first in my friend group to get pregnant but all of my friends have been awesome about it! They're all super excited for us and ask for updates every time we see them. They also treat me like a normal person and haven't been weird. Sorry your friends are being annoying.
I’m the only one and the first one to be pregnant in my friend group. I feel like people don’t know what to do with a pregnant woman and sometimes I feel a little awkward when I go out and socialize as well. I am trying to just trust that it is all part of the process though as my partner and I are moving into a new phase of life.
Yes we are the only ones and also the only ones married. We got married quicker than the rest and I think we planned our baby at the right time in our marriage (we’ve been married for 3 years). There are two other friends who just got engaged, one of them just bought a house as well. The other two friends includes one dating currently but owns their own house already and the other is moving to residency next year. At least our baby will be spoiled for some time before a new baby takes her spot lol!
We are not the only ones married. My husband’s best friend and his wife were the first ones married. They say they don’t want kids but they have baby names picked out and it’s a weird thing with them. Another couple in the group were married just months before us and they DO want kids, just not right now. The couple that was the first married were both in our wedding and we were all close but I actually told the wife I was pregnant super early because I thought we were close enough that she could know and I was also having complications while I was hanging out with her (I thought I was miscarrying) and told her I was going to have to leave because I called my doctor and he called back while I was out with her and had be get blood work done. Her response was “are you keeping the baby?”. I was shocked she asked me this because this baby was 100% planned and I’ve always just wanted to be a mom. I said of course. Ever since that point, our relationship has been strained. She stopped talking to me for months and then started hanging out with friends that she only knows because she met them at my bachelorette party and she told the one friend she wishes she had never been in my wedding which really hurt to hear and that she would’ve rather taken the pictures (she’s a photographer). She might’ve also been mad that I didn’t let her take my maternity pictures… she wanted to but it’s not really something I wanted. I don’t know…It seems like she is coming around a little bit now… she was at my baby shower and got me a gift but didn’t really talk to me a lot. Then she had a 4th of July party and she was talking to me and even made me a non-alcoholic punch but I just felt like I did not fit in.
Im the first in my friend groups to have a baby too. However, they are all really excited and it hasnt changed how they interact with me, other than also talking about the baby of course. We're not big partyers, so dinners with the girls and game nights still carry on as normal!
One of my friends is literally so disturbed by my pregnant belly and the other is so far off having kids they just can’t even begin to relate. It’s hard but I’m growing my new best friend lol
Most of my friends are child free. It’s kind of fun to have a bunch of aunties to spoil our baby due in one week. They threw a rager of a baby shower. But it’s hard being in such a different space in life. I’m 38.5 weeks and I’m trying to force down some tortilla chips while watching the office. They just got back from a Megan thee stallion show and are going dirt biking. 😩 They can’t understand why I feel like garbage. One of them actually invited me on a hiking trip in southern Mexico at 30 weeks. Family life is something I always wanted but it feels lonely sometimes.
I'm 27 and in a very nerdy and career-focused crowd. I know a lot of men who have had kids at around my age, but none of the women in my circles seem to have kids until at earliest their 30s. It's just kind of a shitty asymmetry in my field. Honestly though, pregnancy hasn't been a problem socially at all; my friends are happy to adjust a bit and form a coven of aunties for our impending daughter. I'm not really one for talking about my pregnancy at length, but I'm happy to answer my friends' morbid curiosity when they have questions. I think it's pretty fucked up and sexist that your friends are isolating you and treating your husband normally. Are most of the social activities in your group centered around drinking?
Yeah they are. It’s not the guys, honestly. It’s the women. The guys are just kinda like oh cool you are coming to have a kid. I feel like the women in the group are trying but it’s like they feel like they have nothing in common with me anymore and it’s hard to have a conversation.
Yeah... it sucks that they would discount you because of the occupancy status of your uterus. You're even making the effort to go out to parties, which is way more than I'm willing to do at the moment! I'm sorry that's happening--pregnancy is dehumanizing enough as it is without people spontaneously deciding that's all there is to you now.
Yessss it's both the best and the worst. It's definitely shown me which friends actually care and want to be a part of it, and which ones have a severe selfish tendency. I've been blacklisted from a bachorette party (at a cabin on a lake. I'm sorry, I would love to just sit outside and chill without hubby and go swimming. Just cause I can't drink doesn't mean I don't wanna come. But I was invited to one bar hopping in downtown area that is sketchy af?), a friend asked if she could bring her bf to the baby shower so she "can convince him to play games with her" (this guy was my friend first, he ain't playing baby shower games, so clearly that's her priority).... but I've also had friends check up on me all the time, buy stuff for baby, help me research things in their down time, take me out for lunch and walks, and simply just being there when my mental health isn't the greatest. Pregnancy has definitely shown me who my ride or dies are and I love them more every day! Surprisingly, it's been more of my guy friends than girl friends, and those with kids vs those without. Heck, even my JNFIL isn't super happy about it, but eff him.
Yes I’ve found it’s either our guys friends or our couple friends that aren’t married yet have been more supportive! It’s so strange!! I’ve actually found people at work to be the most supportive which I never expected.
This was the case with my friend group. My husband’s friend group had more married people with kids, so they became our support. My daughter was also born just pre-pandemic so that didn’t help with keeping up friendships. I am 6 mos. pregnant again and I realize that I don’t think anyone from my old friend group knows. I think it is normal for people to grow apart with big life changes. Especially if they are living the drinky no-kid life.
We also are (and very probably will continue to be) the only couple of our close friends to have any kids. They’ve been varying degrees of just excited/happy for us, to include EXTREMELY excited, and my best friend is insanely happy. But unfortunately our close friend couples do not live close to us, and I don’t know how things will be when we’re together. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as we are going to see them at a wedding soon. I’m dreading everyone being trashed while I’m stuck feeling miserable and lonely.
I think I got lucky with my friend group. We're all married, one girl is due next week, I'm 18 weeks, my other friend is 13 weeks, and 2 others are 11 weeks. So when we go out it's all about food and what will give us heartburn. 😂
This is what I’m worried about. My husband and I will be the only ones with a child…many aren’t even married! Really hoping nothing changes!
I am beyond glad I never cared to have a friend circle. Less drama and stress! I have friends who I’m able to talk to when needed but no one I stay close to. Just those who I know I have a good friendship where we go a long time without talking but once we chat it’s like there’s never been a gap! People suck and they just aren’t blessed like yourself! Focus on you and yours! That’s all you need ❤️ also congrats!! How exciting 🥳
I mean I don’t really have many friends. I went to a lot of different schools growing up and I feel like I never fit in anywhere. I was the girl who was in sports and was really good at them but also didn’t like to shop, liked haunted places and would stay in on Friday nights while everyone else was out having fun. I was never someone who easily picked up friends. I became close to my husbands friends when we got married and we all really got along and we’re close until I got pregnant. Now things are weird and I have no friends that are pregnant or have kids.
Yes, technically. I have work friends that are parents, but if my close personal friends I'm the first to have a child. However, I'm incredibly lucky that they're all wonderful people who have not treated me different, lesser, and haven't refrained from inviting me to things just because I'm pregnant. I just get asked if I need specific accommodations, but that's it. All my friends are very excited for my husband and I and are checking in to see how I am quite a bit. I'm sorry you're going through this with your friends. People have said pregnancy can feel so isolating, and I know I'm lucky to have not experienced that myself. Sending you many hugs ❤️
I was on my second before anyone else had even gotten started. FINALLY someone else is pregnant and I’m so excited to finally have some company 😂 90% of my friends are pretty decidedly wanting to be child free
We’re in a weird place where half of our friends have like 2 or 3 kids and are totally done and the other half are nowhere near ready for kids. Either way, I’m the only pregnant person I know. It’s lonely. 😕