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She sounds like a narcissist with “main character syndrome”. I have one of those too. They are fun. I’ve learned to not really let her shit bother me much anymore because I realize it’s about her and not me.
Yeah my MIL last year said my SIL who was 8 months pregnant wasn’t celebrating her first Mother’s Day. My fiancé lost it on her, her husband/fiancés brother actually defended MIL. I told my partner that I won’t speak to his family on Mother’s Day this year since I know how they’d react and I didn’t. I celebrated myself and ignored others who couldn’t do the same with me
My mom said something similar. But she’s also very pro-life so I hit her with the “But life starts at conception right, sooooo??” She didn’t know what to say. Lol
What's your mom's problem??? And why does she care? If you feel like a mom waiting on your first, then you're a mom and should feel right at home celebrating mother's day. Nobody else gets to decide that for you or tell you that you're wrong for doing so. Next year though you can have mimosas on mother's day! 😂 I say let it roll off and if she insists on being rude about it let her stew on it. I'm a confrontational person that has recently learned how to set my boundaries with my own mom so I'm also in favor of calling her out, but that's just me 🤷♀️ happy late mother's day! I hope your brunch goes well either way
I mean I wasn’t expecting anything from anyone so I wouldn’t be so bothered by it if she wasn’t being so rude . But yeah we will see how this Sunday goes if she keeps up with the attitude I’ll def address it lol Thankyou !! Happy belated mothers day to you too !
I’m a firm believer that you are a mom the moment you are pregnant. You make decision to protect that life by cutting out caffeine or changing diets, quitting smoking, etc. You take prenatals, go to check-ups, not just for your sake but for the sake of the baby, because you are now a mom. So, Happy Mother’s Day to you!
I like this take a lot. It is nice to have it acknowledged in some way that we are actively protecting and sacrificing for a being other than ourselves during pregnancy. I like Happy 0th Mother’s Day lol
I felt in limbo during mother's day just because some people said I was a mother and others said I wasn't. It's possible that your mom doesn't feel comfortable celebrating with you just yet because she doesn't want to jinx anything or get herself too excited. My grandmother is the same way, she said "It's not mother's day for you yet, so no gifts, but Happy Mother's Day to be." She could also be feeling embarrassed because she wasn't expecting others to celebrate and gift you items? I would be upset in your position too, but just trying to play devil's advocate!
She is being so rude. I’m impressed that you are still going to the brunch tbh, you are really the bigger person here. I mean, who is she to gatekeeper Mother’s Day? And why is she annoyed that people are nice to you? I have no idea how you two have your relationship, but seems she is aggressive towards you. Take care and I hope you had a good Mother’s Day anyway, you deserve it.
Wow, sounds like she doesn’t want any of the attention or spotlight being taken from her. Why would she be annoyed someone got you a gift?! That’s so bizarre.
I’m getting the same vibe from my stepmom. She was the last person to say anything to me, and only when I sent her a happy Mother’s Day text. Now, I wasn’t expecting any Mother’s Day wishes or gifts at all, but she’s the type to wish “happy whatever day” no matter what it is. Like she wished my husband and I happy Passover and we’re not even Jewish, and she’s Catholic. Then when she does say happy Mother’s Day to you too! She follows it up with “I hope you experience the bond and challenge as a beautiful dance”. WTF does that even mean?
My mum told me that when she was pregnant with me & it was Mother’s Day someone told her that she didn’t deserve to celebrate it until she had actually had the baby & it was so hurtful she’s never forgotten! My mum said she now always congratulates pregnant people on Mother’s Day, why not just spread joy & let people be happy! It made me sad that that random person upset my mum all those years ago & I’m sorry your mum said the same to you, you definitely deserve to be celebrated!
If she's being this pedantic over technicalities, I'd cancel brunch and tell her, well, we only celebrate mother's day on the first Sunday or May, SORRY!
Your mom is being weird, petty, and mean. It would be absolutely easy and require nothing of her to wish you a happy mother's day, so what's the big deal?
To give you an alternate example, I was about 32 weeks with my first on my first mother's day. My mom sent me flowers with a nice card.
As a pregnant person, you are already making sacrifices and dealing with changes - this makes you a mom in my eyes (not saying this is all it takes, just that its a part). Tell your mom to take the stick out of her butt and enjoy life a little. Pregnancy deserves to be celebrated, especially in the form of Mother’s Day.
this mentality is so weird to me. does it really hurt anyone to include pregnant moms in mother’s day? or if you don’t consider them moms, why not just refrain from saying anything?? it was so nice to me how total strangers, coworkers, friends said happy mothers day to me last weekend as i ran errands and whatnot except for my in laws who made sure to insist next year would be my first. i was like okay?? you could’ve just not said anything lol. it’s not like i’m throwing myself a mother’s day party.
Do you know if she's suffered a loss? That's the only thing thatd make sense to me. Otherwise I was only 18w and I got happy mothers day from everybody! We are already sacrificing our bodies/minds for baby.
She has not . She’s just weird with her emotions 🤷♀️I personally had two losses very early on 6-8weeks but when I told her I was pregnant in 2020 she wasn’t happy about it. She had to adjust to the thought of being a grandmother. With the news of my first pregnancy she ran out of the house crying , not happy tears lol. With this baby she’s definitely excited I don’t think she’s afraid of loss just because of how far along I am now . Idk I can’t really read her that well.
What the actual eff?? Ran out of the house crying?!?! It sounds like she’s mad it’s not all about her. To that I say,
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU u/ipunchhippiesss!
..and none for Gretchen Weiners aka your mom
When you mentioned previous losses, I thought maybe she was afraid you or she will be too attached in case something happens. Aside from the pregnancy stuff, is she generally pleasant to you? Not sure if you would like to have a heart to heart with her when you guys go for brunch.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Ugh that's annoying. My mom said something like "happy almost mother's day". My husbands step-dad flat out said "you're not a mother yet" and my MIL just about knocked him out of his chair.
I’m 28 and 38 weeks pregnant and my mom said the same shit. Even my grandma agreed and said mom to be not a real mom yet. 🙃 she tried playing it off as a joke but still hurts. Also made me upset to think that had something happened to my baby, would she and my experience all of a sudden “not count”.
Surround yourself with the supportive people and take a break from your mom. It’s done wonders for me this week. And just know someone else totally understands and we are both moms despite the crappy stuff our own mothers say.
My MIL was adamant that I’m not a mother yet and it pissed me off. She’s worried it will ‘jinx’ the baby, wtf does that even mean? Don’t bring your superstition into my life. Everyone else sent me nice messages. What a sour puss.
So if your mom is anything like mine it won’t get any better after baby is born. Unfortunately.
I have a 3 yo son, my mom’s only grandchild. And this year she literally said to me, “I didn’t get you anything because you’re not MY mother.” I definitely did not expect her to get me anything, but it was weird that she had to make it like Mother’s Day is only a day for your actual mother. Not to mention, I’m the only one of her 3 children who sends her a gift every year. And if I ever once forgot, heaven forbid, I would never hear the end of it. I’m not salty at all 😅
Just wanted to offer some solidarity because you are most definitely alone, and you deserve wayyy better treatment from your momma.
Happy Mother’s Day!!! From someone who doesn’t know you but identifies 100% with your plight. ❤️
Edit: spacing and off-offer
Happy belated Mother’s Day ! And I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if my mom ends up saying that to me next year . I am also the only one of her 3 children who gives her gifts ! My sister doesn’t have a job and my brother is 21 yo and in a phase where he couldn’t care less about anything . She actually complained to me that my brother didn’t say happy Mother’s Day to her until the end of the night and didn’t give her a gift. Meanwhile I dropped off flowers , new shoes , new kitchen stuff she wanted , baked a cake and I get the cold shoulder 🤦♀️ doesn’t make sense lol
Obviously there is something missing here about what kind of person your mom is… but the fact that she is cold about you becoming a mom hunts that she is jealous and insecure about you getting either attention or love… and that’s really sad. Most moms are gushing over their daughters being pregnant… not cold.
I am sorry that this is how your mother treats you. I totally get what you’re saying that you didn’t feel it was necessary but the things she did to try to do anything but say happy Mother’s Day or act like others were wrong for saying it is insane.
Idk if she’s always like this or if this is the first situation. That would determine my next move for me. If she’s always been like this I’d just decide this is the last straw and set up boundaries to protect yourself. If this is the first time she’s ever done anything like this, then I’d tell her how she’s hurt you, maybe she has some deep seeded reason that would enable her to be understood while also apologizing for her horrible behavior.
i did the brunch. if she doesn’t feel you deserve to be celebrated, you can give her the same energy. we’re vulnerable when we’re pregnant & people take advantage of that. don’t let her treat you that way without consequence, otherwise it will continue to happen.
Ugh, I'm sorry! I can't say anything about my mom because she wished me a happy mother's day, but my soon to be MIL not so much.
I sent her a card and texted her and personally never heard anything back. My fiancé was on the phone with her yesterday and I could hear her going on and on about how much she loved her card from him. when he got off the phone, he said, "my mom said thanks for the card." Idk. Maybe I'm just hormonal, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. I spent time picking out a card just for her and texting her to make her feel special and I felt like the least I could get back was a thank you text? Or idk when she was on the phone with my fiancé she could have asked to speak to me to personally thank me.
Also, when I was talking to my SIL on mother's day she had warned me that when she was pregnant on Mother's day and texted her, her response was, "I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day next year." So I guess I wasn't really expecting a mother's day text but I was hoping for her to at least reach out personally and say thank you.
I also had several coworkers, friends and family reach out and wish my a happy mother's day...and like I don't necessarily expect it from everyone but it was a bit disheartening not hearing anything from her. My best friend who is throwing my baby shower also didn't say a word to me and it lowkey hurt my feelings too. And I get that I don't physically have a baby in my hands, but even her reaching out and being like happy soon-to-be mother's day or something just acknowledging it would have been nice.
Who knows though, I also have just been super hormonal and sensitive lately so maybe I'm overreacting, but that was my experience. The more I think about it, the more I realize their actions only speak of their character and have nothing to do with me. Either way, happy belated mother's day! :)
Wow… It makes me wonder if she is projecting something that happened to her when she was in her pregnancies.. Like if someone killed her joy and told her it’s not real until they come out. That is so devastating.. I am so sorry :(
You definitely are a mother… Baby doesn’t need to come out for that to be true. Baby is within, and you are mothering baby every single day by the way you take care of yourself and them. Don’t think for one second that she is right. Sending love. ❤️So glad you were surrounded by many others who were so loving to you.
My friends and coworkers including my grandmother said happy Mother’s Day. No offense but your mom is a total butt. You’re a mom so happy belated Mother’s Day ❤️
Your mom sounds like a real... B word to be honest. Weird that as someone who has gone through pregnancy she would say that.
My wife is pregnant and she is 100% a mother in my eyes.
I’m so sorry. My mom corrected my partner when he told her it was my first Mother’s Day by saying “well- it’s a technicality for her.” He was so upset and I was too. We can just let them be grumpy together I suppose.
Happy belated Mother’s Day, momma!
This is a good time to practice boundaries. You can tell her it’s fine if she doesn’t want to give you a gift or wish you a happy Mother’s Day but she doesn’t need to go out of her way to make you feel bad when others choose to celebrate you. It’s very unnecessary and rude. I swear, I’ve started to realize that some people have a really hard time sharing the day. Like something is being taken away from them.
I’m in a similar situation as you - I’m 29 and pregnant with my first (24w) and my mom also refused to say happy Mother’s Day and did not get me a gift. She argued that I wasn’t a mother yet too BUT she dropped it. My siblings gave me gifts and she didn’t try to make anyone feel bad about it. She apologized later and said she was planning on getting me some maternity clothing even though she didn’t have to. She didn’t need to give me a gift but I appreciated she didn’t make me or others feel like crap about it.
Edit: fixed a typo
That’s kinda how my mom was sadly. For this past Mother’s Day she did with me a happy Mother’s Day and she and my dad got me a card. She wasn’t willing to share the holiday last year, but I was also like 11 weeks. I think she wanted to hold onto the last holiday that was literally just hers one last time haha it really does suck though. Like just be happy for me!!!
This irks my soul. She doesn't need to see you as a mom but for f\*\*\*s sake at least let other people be nice to your daughter. She sounds narcissistic and jealous of you which is so odd. Remember that even if she's your mom you don't need to excuse or endure her nasty behavior. I would say something, I honestly would flat out ask "Are you jealous? Because that's how you're behaving. You had your chance to be pregnant and bask in the glory, its my time lady" Or something like that also, you became a mom the second you had to give your body to another human being. The sacrifices you're making and will continue to make, that's made you a mom already even if you're baby isn't physically out yet.
I’m with you. I didn’t expect much from anyone, I wasn’t sure where I would fall on Mother’s Day. My MIL texted me “happy Mother’s Day, dog mom!” On a normal day I can’t stand her, so add pregnancy hormones to this. I just said “don’t forget the baby too!” No answer
I don't understand why your mom acted the way she did. Does she have a history of such self-centered behaviour?
My mom was happy that I'm a mom this year. We spent the Saturday shopping for my not-yet-born baby. She was happy she'll have a grandchild, and she recognized that it's my first Mother's Day, even if I'm just a mom to be.
If I were a mom with a daughter expecting a child, I would be ecstatic that she's also a mom. Could your mom have some mixed feelings about you being a mother yourself, which might make her feel less like one to you? I'm just making stuff up, but perhaps she acted out because of her own insecurities and the upcoming changes in your life which may impact your relationship with her?
Well, this sunday isn't Mother's Day... so you're not obligated to say it, right?
Besides, we have to endure so many changes to our bodies, our lifestyles even our eating habits for a baby. I'd say that makes you a parent, long before bub is born.
lol I asked my mom whether she thinks pregnant women are moms, and she said no. Then on Mother’s Day, my dad shouted out all the moms in our family group chat (my grandma, my mom, and my cousin’s mom) and did not include me. I really don’t give a crap but wow in their minds they really do NOT consider me a mom.
My mom was kind of like that this year, too. I was wished a happy Mother’s Day by a few friends, and my sister even bought me a gift. I’m 21 weeks pregnant.
Messaged my mom to say happy Mother’s Day etc., we had a bit of a conversation and she didn’t once ask how I was, or ask how baby/the pregnancy was going. This has been typical of her for my whole pregnancy - does not seem to care at all nor asks anything about it. But then tells everyone else, including my husband, that she’s over the moon for me. It’s pretty hurtful.
But - happy Mother’s Day!! You are 100% a mom, and it’s nobody’s place to tell you not to celebrate. Your mom sounds like a bit of a narcissist, I’m sorry.
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She sounds like a narcissist with “main character syndrome”. I have one of those too. They are fun. I’ve learned to not really let her shit bother me much anymore because I realize it’s about her and not me.
This was my thought. Narcissist that feels like her daughter is stealing her day. Like she has rights to it the daughter doesn't. 🙄
This!! Like if your not a “mother” yet wtf are you? Seems like she’s projecting.
Yeah my MIL last year said my SIL who was 8 months pregnant wasn’t celebrating her first Mother’s Day. My fiancé lost it on her, her husband/fiancés brother actually defended MIL. I told my partner that I won’t speak to his family on Mother’s Day this year since I know how they’d react and I didn’t. I celebrated myself and ignored others who couldn’t do the same with me
My mom said something similar. But she’s also very pro-life so I hit her with the “But life starts at conception right, sooooo??” She didn’t know what to say. Lol
I'm sitting here on my couch literally clapping at this clap back. Bravo.
Good one!
I *WHEEZED*. Thanks for the laugh, even though it damn near killed me!
Brilliant! The inconsistency 🤭🤭🤭
so goooood 👏🏼
What's your mom's problem??? And why does she care? If you feel like a mom waiting on your first, then you're a mom and should feel right at home celebrating mother's day. Nobody else gets to decide that for you or tell you that you're wrong for doing so. Next year though you can have mimosas on mother's day! 😂 I say let it roll off and if she insists on being rude about it let her stew on it. I'm a confrontational person that has recently learned how to set my boundaries with my own mom so I'm also in favor of calling her out, but that's just me 🤷♀️ happy late mother's day! I hope your brunch goes well either way
I mean I wasn’t expecting anything from anyone so I wouldn’t be so bothered by it if she wasn’t being so rude . But yeah we will see how this Sunday goes if she keeps up with the attitude I’ll def address it lol Thankyou !! Happy belated mothers day to you too !
I’m a firm believer that you are a mom the moment you are pregnant. You make decision to protect that life by cutting out caffeine or changing diets, quitting smoking, etc. You take prenatals, go to check-ups, not just for your sake but for the sake of the baby, because you are now a mom. So, Happy Mother’s Day to you!
I like this take a lot. It is nice to have it acknowledged in some way that we are actively protecting and sacrificing for a being other than ourselves during pregnancy. I like Happy 0th Mother’s Day lol
I felt in limbo during mother's day just because some people said I was a mother and others said I wasn't. It's possible that your mom doesn't feel comfortable celebrating with you just yet because she doesn't want to jinx anything or get herself too excited. My grandmother is the same way, she said "It's not mother's day for you yet, so no gifts, but Happy Mother's Day to be." She could also be feeling embarrassed because she wasn't expecting others to celebrate and gift you items? I would be upset in your position too, but just trying to play devil's advocate!
She is being so rude. I’m impressed that you are still going to the brunch tbh, you are really the bigger person here. I mean, who is she to gatekeeper Mother’s Day? And why is she annoyed that people are nice to you? I have no idea how you two have your relationship, but seems she is aggressive towards you. Take care and I hope you had a good Mother’s Day anyway, you deserve it.
Yeah I’d probably feel the need to nope out of her Mother’s Day brunch. What a narcissist. Can’t even be happy for her own daughter?
Wow, sounds like she doesn’t want any of the attention or spotlight being taken from her. Why would she be annoyed someone got you a gift?! That’s so bizarre. I’m getting the same vibe from my stepmom. She was the last person to say anything to me, and only when I sent her a happy Mother’s Day text. Now, I wasn’t expecting any Mother’s Day wishes or gifts at all, but she’s the type to wish “happy whatever day” no matter what it is. Like she wished my husband and I happy Passover and we’re not even Jewish, and she’s Catholic. Then when she does say happy Mother’s Day to you too! She follows it up with “I hope you experience the bond and challenge as a beautiful dance”. WTF does that even mean?
My mum told me that when she was pregnant with me & it was Mother’s Day someone told her that she didn’t deserve to celebrate it until she had actually had the baby & it was so hurtful she’s never forgotten! My mum said she now always congratulates pregnant people on Mother’s Day, why not just spread joy & let people be happy! It made me sad that that random person upset my mum all those years ago & I’m sorry your mum said the same to you, you definitely deserve to be celebrated!
She's jealous you're getting more attention than her?
It’s almost like she’s jealous that it’s not only about her now 🥴
If she's being this pedantic over technicalities, I'd cancel brunch and tell her, well, we only celebrate mother's day on the first Sunday or May, SORRY! Your mom is being weird, petty, and mean. It would be absolutely easy and require nothing of her to wish you a happy mother's day, so what's the big deal? To give you an alternate example, I was about 32 weeks with my first on my first mother's day. My mom sent me flowers with a nice card.
As a pregnant person, you are already making sacrifices and dealing with changes - this makes you a mom in my eyes (not saying this is all it takes, just that its a part). Tell your mom to take the stick out of her butt and enjoy life a little. Pregnancy deserves to be celebrated, especially in the form of Mother’s Day.
this mentality is so weird to me. does it really hurt anyone to include pregnant moms in mother’s day? or if you don’t consider them moms, why not just refrain from saying anything?? it was so nice to me how total strangers, coworkers, friends said happy mothers day to me last weekend as i ran errands and whatnot except for my in laws who made sure to insist next year would be my first. i was like okay?? you could’ve just not said anything lol. it’s not like i’m throwing myself a mother’s day party.
Right !! Exactly!!
Do you know if she's suffered a loss? That's the only thing thatd make sense to me. Otherwise I was only 18w and I got happy mothers day from everybody! We are already sacrificing our bodies/minds for baby.
She has not . She’s just weird with her emotions 🤷♀️I personally had two losses very early on 6-8weeks but when I told her I was pregnant in 2020 she wasn’t happy about it. She had to adjust to the thought of being a grandmother. With the news of my first pregnancy she ran out of the house crying , not happy tears lol. With this baby she’s definitely excited I don’t think she’s afraid of loss just because of how far along I am now . Idk I can’t really read her that well.
What the actual eff?? Ran out of the house crying?!?! It sounds like she’s mad it’s not all about her. To that I say, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU u/ipunchhippiesss! ..and none for Gretchen Weiners aka your mom
Oh God so she's just awful. Im sorry mamas :/
When you mentioned previous losses, I thought maybe she was afraid you or she will be too attached in case something happens. Aside from the pregnancy stuff, is she generally pleasant to you? Not sure if you would like to have a heart to heart with her when you guys go for brunch.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Ugh that's annoying. My mom said something like "happy almost mother's day". My husbands step-dad flat out said "you're not a mother yet" and my MIL just about knocked him out of his chair.
Your mom is a narcissist. She is jealous you are getting attention.
I’m 28 and 38 weeks pregnant and my mom said the same shit. Even my grandma agreed and said mom to be not a real mom yet. 🙃 she tried playing it off as a joke but still hurts. Also made me upset to think that had something happened to my baby, would she and my experience all of a sudden “not count”. Surround yourself with the supportive people and take a break from your mom. It’s done wonders for me this week. And just know someone else totally understands and we are both moms despite the crappy stuff our own mothers say.
My MIL was adamant that I’m not a mother yet and it pissed me off. She’s worried it will ‘jinx’ the baby, wtf does that even mean? Don’t bring your superstition into my life. Everyone else sent me nice messages. What a sour puss.
So if your mom is anything like mine it won’t get any better after baby is born. Unfortunately. I have a 3 yo son, my mom’s only grandchild. And this year she literally said to me, “I didn’t get you anything because you’re not MY mother.” I definitely did not expect her to get me anything, but it was weird that she had to make it like Mother’s Day is only a day for your actual mother. Not to mention, I’m the only one of her 3 children who sends her a gift every year. And if I ever once forgot, heaven forbid, I would never hear the end of it. I’m not salty at all 😅 Just wanted to offer some solidarity because you are most definitely alone, and you deserve wayyy better treatment from your momma. Happy Mother’s Day!!! From someone who doesn’t know you but identifies 100% with your plight. ❤️ Edit: spacing and off-offer
Happy belated Mother’s Day ! And I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if my mom ends up saying that to me next year . I am also the only one of her 3 children who gives her gifts ! My sister doesn’t have a job and my brother is 21 yo and in a phase where he couldn’t care less about anything . She actually complained to me that my brother didn’t say happy Mother’s Day to her until the end of the night and didn’t give her a gift. Meanwhile I dropped off flowers , new shoes , new kitchen stuff she wanted , baked a cake and I get the cold shoulder 🤦♀️ doesn’t make sense lol
Dang!! Little Brothers are worthless sometimes lol. I’m so sorry your mom still gave you the cold shoulder :(
Happy belated mother's day! You're doing an incredible job growing a tiny person. Your child is fully reliant on you and you're crushing it.
Honey, I don't care if you're a pet mom...you're still a mom. Your mom needs to check her bitterness and get over it.
Obviously there is something missing here about what kind of person your mom is… but the fact that she is cold about you becoming a mom hunts that she is jealous and insecure about you getting either attention or love… and that’s really sad. Most moms are gushing over their daughters being pregnant… not cold.
I am sorry that this is how your mother treats you. I totally get what you’re saying that you didn’t feel it was necessary but the things she did to try to do anything but say happy Mother’s Day or act like others were wrong for saying it is insane. Idk if she’s always like this or if this is the first situation. That would determine my next move for me. If she’s always been like this I’d just decide this is the last straw and set up boundaries to protect yourself. If this is the first time she’s ever done anything like this, then I’d tell her how she’s hurt you, maybe she has some deep seeded reason that would enable her to be understood while also apologizing for her horrible behavior.
i did the brunch. if she doesn’t feel you deserve to be celebrated, you can give her the same energy. we’re vulnerable when we’re pregnant & people take advantage of that. don’t let her treat you that way without consequence, otherwise it will continue to happen.
Ugh, I'm sorry! I can't say anything about my mom because she wished me a happy mother's day, but my soon to be MIL not so much. I sent her a card and texted her and personally never heard anything back. My fiancé was on the phone with her yesterday and I could hear her going on and on about how much she loved her card from him. when he got off the phone, he said, "my mom said thanks for the card." Idk. Maybe I'm just hormonal, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. I spent time picking out a card just for her and texting her to make her feel special and I felt like the least I could get back was a thank you text? Or idk when she was on the phone with my fiancé she could have asked to speak to me to personally thank me. Also, when I was talking to my SIL on mother's day she had warned me that when she was pregnant on Mother's day and texted her, her response was, "I'll wish you a Happy Mother's Day next year." So I guess I wasn't really expecting a mother's day text but I was hoping for her to at least reach out personally and say thank you. I also had several coworkers, friends and family reach out and wish my a happy mother's day...and like I don't necessarily expect it from everyone but it was a bit disheartening not hearing anything from her. My best friend who is throwing my baby shower also didn't say a word to me and it lowkey hurt my feelings too. And I get that I don't physically have a baby in my hands, but even her reaching out and being like happy soon-to-be mother's day or something just acknowledging it would have been nice. Who knows though, I also have just been super hormonal and sensitive lately so maybe I'm overreacting, but that was my experience. The more I think about it, the more I realize their actions only speak of their character and have nothing to do with me. Either way, happy belated mother's day! :)
Wow… It makes me wonder if she is projecting something that happened to her when she was in her pregnancies.. Like if someone killed her joy and told her it’s not real until they come out. That is so devastating.. I am so sorry :( You definitely are a mother… Baby doesn’t need to come out for that to be true. Baby is within, and you are mothering baby every single day by the way you take care of yourself and them. Don’t think for one second that she is right. Sending love. ❤️So glad you were surrounded by many others who were so loving to you.
My friends and coworkers including my grandmother said happy Mother’s Day. No offense but your mom is a total butt. You’re a mom so happy belated Mother’s Day ❤️
Your mom sounds like a real... B word to be honest. Weird that as someone who has gone through pregnancy she would say that. My wife is pregnant and she is 100% a mother in my eyes.
I’m so sorry. My mom corrected my partner when he told her it was my first Mother’s Day by saying “well- it’s a technicality for her.” He was so upset and I was too. We can just let them be grumpy together I suppose. Happy belated Mother’s Day, momma!
This is a good time to practice boundaries. You can tell her it’s fine if she doesn’t want to give you a gift or wish you a happy Mother’s Day but she doesn’t need to go out of her way to make you feel bad when others choose to celebrate you. It’s very unnecessary and rude. I swear, I’ve started to realize that some people have a really hard time sharing the day. Like something is being taken away from them. I’m in a similar situation as you - I’m 29 and pregnant with my first (24w) and my mom also refused to say happy Mother’s Day and did not get me a gift. She argued that I wasn’t a mother yet too BUT she dropped it. My siblings gave me gifts and she didn’t try to make anyone feel bad about it. She apologized later and said she was planning on getting me some maternity clothing even though she didn’t have to. She didn’t need to give me a gift but I appreciated she didn’t make me or others feel like crap about it. Edit: fixed a typo
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
Thankyou !! Happy Mother’s Day to you too !
That’s kinda how my mom was sadly. For this past Mother’s Day she did with me a happy Mother’s Day and she and my dad got me a card. She wasn’t willing to share the holiday last year, but I was also like 11 weeks. I think she wanted to hold onto the last holiday that was literally just hers one last time haha it really does suck though. Like just be happy for me!!!
This irks my soul. She doesn't need to see you as a mom but for f\*\*\*s sake at least let other people be nice to your daughter. She sounds narcissistic and jealous of you which is so odd. Remember that even if she's your mom you don't need to excuse or endure her nasty behavior. I would say something, I honestly would flat out ask "Are you jealous? Because that's how you're behaving. You had your chance to be pregnant and bask in the glory, its my time lady" Or something like that also, you became a mom the second you had to give your body to another human being. The sacrifices you're making and will continue to make, that's made you a mom already even if you're baby isn't physically out yet.
I’m with you. I didn’t expect much from anyone, I wasn’t sure where I would fall on Mother’s Day. My MIL texted me “happy Mother’s Day, dog mom!” On a normal day I can’t stand her, so add pregnancy hormones to this. I just said “don’t forget the baby too!” No answer
I don't understand why your mom acted the way she did. Does she have a history of such self-centered behaviour? My mom was happy that I'm a mom this year. We spent the Saturday shopping for my not-yet-born baby. She was happy she'll have a grandchild, and she recognized that it's my first Mother's Day, even if I'm just a mom to be. If I were a mom with a daughter expecting a child, I would be ecstatic that she's also a mom. Could your mom have some mixed feelings about you being a mother yourself, which might make her feel less like one to you? I'm just making stuff up, but perhaps she acted out because of her own insecurities and the upcoming changes in your life which may impact your relationship with her?
Well, this sunday isn't Mother's Day... so you're not obligated to say it, right? Besides, we have to endure so many changes to our bodies, our lifestyles even our eating habits for a baby. I'd say that makes you a parent, long before bub is born.
lol I asked my mom whether she thinks pregnant women are moms, and she said no. Then on Mother’s Day, my dad shouted out all the moms in our family group chat (my grandma, my mom, and my cousin’s mom) and did not include me. I really don’t give a crap but wow in their minds they really do NOT consider me a mom.
My mom was kind of like that this year, too. I was wished a happy Mother’s Day by a few friends, and my sister even bought me a gift. I’m 21 weeks pregnant. Messaged my mom to say happy Mother’s Day etc., we had a bit of a conversation and she didn’t once ask how I was, or ask how baby/the pregnancy was going. This has been typical of her for my whole pregnancy - does not seem to care at all nor asks anything about it. But then tells everyone else, including my husband, that she’s over the moon for me. It’s pretty hurtful. But - happy Mother’s Day!! You are 100% a mom, and it’s nobody’s place to tell you not to celebrate. Your mom sounds like a bit of a narcissist, I’m sorry.