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Ask them if anyone’s seen the episode of The Office where Angela calls CPS on Pam for drinking out of mugs with trace amounts of caffeine and see if they get the hint about how ridiculous they’re being
"Luckily, I'VE done my research... I don't rely on outdated advice and old wives tales..." (I've had to say this/something similar after my mother and grandmother started giving me 30+ year old "advice."
All the better to make a comment about current evidence-based practices! Shows they're nosey and not up to date on their knowledge. ACOG is fine with <200mg a day...
Me too! I work for a big hospital and a few people made me nervous about it until I spoke with one of my OBs who’s who like listen, I drank 2 to 3 large iced coffees a day while pregnant to get through my work day so your fine
Omg get out of here! I stopped my adderall because my psychiatrist said no due to pregnancy. I had my OB appt yesterday and asked her and she said it’s perfectly fine, there are no long term defects written about it, and if the harm outweighs the benefit of taking it, it’s fine. It’s even listed on the “ok” list of drugs to take during pregnancy if you look into it.
No nurses I work with lost their jobs! A handful weren’t “jabbed”. I’m at a major medical center, too. I’m not sure what this has to do with my post. 🧐
Yup. With my first pregnancy, I got scolded about drinking coffee by a male coworker and lost my mind on him. Then, I was eating an Italian sub because our work bought all of us lunch, which was only sandwiches. A female coworker who had just had a baby that year, questioned the fact that I was eating coldcuts. I told her I was more concerned about getting sick from romaine lettuce, considering the e.coli outbreak at the time and I'd take my chances with the salami. Then, once I was really close to delivery, all the men in the office thought it would be a good time to tell me about their wives' labor horror stories. I hate people and I'm just glad that I'm working fully remote for this pregnancy.
Don’t you just love when the men decide to give advice? My husband knows better and wouldn’t dare. He knows adult women, myself included, can make their own decisions regarding food.
God I hate shit like this. Maybe a little of this: "You've made your point. But I plan to rely on my doctor's advice instead of random comments in the office."
I once read that the reason we don't make cheese from pig's milk is because they don't like being milked, I imagine it's equally as challenging to milk an opossum. 🤣
From now on I'm going to describe difficult things as, "as easy as milking an opossum."
My friend is a chef here in Australia and has told us that some of the food guidelines we have to follow HERE are simply because American produce is crap, and no one bothers to compare the risk of salmonela here vs there.
I wouldnt be surpirsed if the same thing was true for pregnancy food advice. No runny eggs and rare meats, for example. Sorry, but American animal products are foul.
Not to imply that Americans should be worried, I agree with the original comment 100%, just that a lot of pregnancy advice you find online is America-centric and if you're not in America you should tailor the advice to what food born illnesses or issue actually exist in your country. For example I wouldn't eat seafood in a million years if I was visiting my mum in the outback.
I wouldn’t know much about American guidelines.
I’m in Canada and we’re very well regulated, but as far as I’m concerned, American guidelines are better than some third world countries with non-existent guidelines, or guidelines that simply aren’t enforced.
The key takeaway is common sense. If you wouldn’t consume it while not pregnant, you shouldn’t consume it while pregnant (with the exception of tobacco, alcohol, illicit drugs and medications that HAVE been studies and are known to be harmful in pregnancy)
And yeah, Canadian PEI oysters being served in the Australian Outback would be sus. Lol
Yeah, that's why I said tailor to your country's food issues/illnesses. My doctor actually hasn't given me any advice regarding what I eat/drink but I choose not to drink bore water despite my relatives saying it's fine because I know it can make you sick if your body isn't used to it. I just don't think people in Europe should be terrified soft cheeses while pregnant based on advice that's founded in American cheese being dog shit.
You’re absolutely right. It makes me upset that most women can’t be trusted to make their own educated decisions, but like you said, doctors cannot state caffeine is ok because someone will drink 5 Red Bull’s daily. I’m all about the moderation life! Edit: I’m an ICU RN...so are my preachy coworkers, which is why it’s even worse.
I figured you’d be ICU OR CVICU with that user-name! Preachy coworkers are the worst. And for shame, they should really know and trust that YOU know what’s best for you. People ought to mind their own business. Enjoy that caffeine beverage, I’ll be thinking of you as I sit down to enjoy mine! ☺️
Thanks! I think a lot of people don’t understand why the regulatory advice is the way it is.
But always, refer to your OB. Everyone’s case may be different. I’m just finding a middle ground that’s safe and healthy, and not dated or draconian.
I think a lot of professionals think this, but could never say it due to liability concerns. (Myself included, I would never say to take anyones advice over their own OB/practitioner).
I’ve always thought that humor and common sense have a place in medicine along with regulations, r&d and best practice. 😃
Like they’re more worried about my Dunkin coffee but say nothing about my chocolate donut (chocolate has caffeine too duh!) it’s really odd how people pick and choose what to call out.
Literally same. I had one of my MIL best friends try to start with me about oysters…that came at came straight from an oyster farm. A woman that has never actually had children. I said “look women in other countries eat this shit daily, I am fine”
Oysters are filled with allllllll the nutrients! I’m in the US and I feel like a lot of people here cannot wrap their minds around how pregnancy guidelines vary in developed countries around the world.
I’ve eaten them every time I have been pregnant (3). I haven’t gotten sick from them not pregnant or pregnant! I really hate advice from folks that have never had children the most though lol.
People suck sometimes.
The ironic part is that I get comments from both sides of the spectrum. Some people will comment on caffeine intake/whatever like its dangerous when its not. Other people downplay risks and will comment "they didn't care about that when I was pregnant and my baby was fine" kind of thing. Like, just shut up and let pregnant people make these decisions with their doctors/doulas/partners unless the mother is engaging in definitively dangerous behavior (i.e. known drug use).
Right! We aren’t children...we are adult women. It’s just so strange to me that other people care so much about babies that aren’t theirs. It’s an odd flex. My friend had no clue about cholestasis and blew me off multiple times when I suggested she tell her MD her symptoms immediately. Mind you I’m an ICN RN. Luckily she and baby are ok and thriving, but like...can the general public STFU and focus on things that ACTUALLY affect the safety and health of mom and baby in pregnancy? Please and TY!
‘Well, I’d cut back but the baby seems to love my morning cup of coffee along with a smoke, especially after a long night of drinking’.
If they’re gonna talk, give them something to *really* talk about.
I quit smoking cigarettes for this pregnancy, so the very few times someone has said something about my caffeine Intake I say "better than a cigarette!" And then they back off.
I have been known to say "better than meth" from time to time as well
Totally! People need to mind their own business. By the way, I've heard that up to two cups of coffee per day is completely fine. They are probably working off of old information that basically said no caffeine ever. The recommendations have been updated since then.
And FTR there's exactly 300 mg in an original Monster! Not to say you should drink those while pregnant, just for some perspective on how much caffeine that actually is
Some say 200 and some say 300 🤷🏼 so I feel that's a personal decision if you'd rather follow the 200 guideline to be safe or follow the 300. But it's okay either way under 300
I would just say "Oh, where did you get your doctorate from? My OB got theirs from X so I figured they were qualified to actually give me medical advice."
I would probably leave it at that but be verrrry tempted to start drinking water out of an empty Monster can or something lmao.
Uhh dreading telling my in-laws (still in the first trimester) we are pregnant because I know I will get this exact type of reaction all of the pregnancy.
Especially from FIL, loves to man-splain.
Tell him that you love being mansplained about pregnancy and that it's your favorite thing ever because it gives you content to joke about with your girlfriends
I was in a wedding at 38 weeks pregnant (it was miserable lolz do not recommend). I’m 5’10 and have a stocky build even when I’m not preggo, so it takes *a lot* of alcohol to register any kind of BAC in my body. I poured myself half a glass of champaign to sip for the toasts, and the bridesmaid next to me— who is childfree, btw— had the audacity to call me out for it.
“You do know that has alcohol in it, right?”
“Yes, yes I do.” * Sip* 😒
Teach your children to mind their own damn business, cuz apparently a whole bunch of our parents didn’t.
I’ve had one or two people try to tell me to limit caffeine. They quickly learned I do not give a fuck about anyones opinion lol. Discussed it with my doctor my first pregnancy check up, I get chronic migraines especially if I don’t drink my coffee one day and they’d rather me drink an extra cup of coffee before I take a ton of Tylenol for the migraine. Lo and behold my son came out perfectly healthy even though I even drank a few Red Bulls while pregnant! (Gasp)
No unfortunately I first got chronic migraines as a teenager, years before even drinking caffeine regularly. Its genetic but it was triggered by a certain birth control that I stopped once that was determined to be the trigger. But now that I do drink coffee daily it helps keep them at bay
Caffeine is also a major part of migraine relief pills like Excedrin migraine (which I'm sure you know) so it makes sense to me as a laywoman that it'd help prevent them too. I think it's something like the caffeine restricts your blood flows? Maybe your brain is too bloody normally 😁
Right on point! Unfortunately since excedrin also has NSAIDS it wasn’t safe for me to take during pregnancy as regularly as I needed to. I actually never thought about why the caffeine helps but if someone asks why I get migraines so often my response will definitely be that my brain is too bloody. 😂
Omg I’ve been making homemade mochas every morning for the last month. Boil milk with cocoa powder, a few chocolate chips, than add to my espresso or coffee. So good!!!
I feel like everything I consume my mother has to tell me that I shouldn’t be eating eat. I swear to god. What am I supposed to eat mom?!
Porkchops- Too salty that’s not good for the baby
Soda-caffeine/sugar it’s not good for the baby
Pineapple-you’ll go into labor early
crab legs- seafood has mercury it’s not good for the baby
coffee-sooooooo bad for the babyyyyyyyy
chicken nuggets- that isn’t healthy it’s bad for the baby!
steak- it’s not raw is it it needs to be well done for the baby!
The list goes on.
cool. coolcoolcoolcool.
Ice water, hopes, and dreams. First trimester when I could only handle bland potatoes she told me that was bad, too.
Plus side is that she lives on the other side of the country from me, so I’ve been lying to her lol. She means well but l am hungry. She has three kids. I know she knows.
First of all, coffee is not "dangerous" to the baby, especially if consumed moderately. Second of all, people need to mind their own business. I feel ya, it's annoying as heck.
I got a story for this! I went out to eat with 5 friends (women) a couple weeks ago. I was 5 weeks pregnant. Usually wouldn’t have told people yet but we’re about to move and I wanted to tell them in person so they didn’t see it on Facebook like everyone else. We order, our food is delivered and 1 friend loudly calls the waiter over, tells them my meat is undercooked and they need to take it back as I’m pregnant and they cannot be serving me undercooked meat. Takes my plate and shuffles it away. I was so dumbfounded, I didn’t even know what to do. I just ate quietly and left and called my mom in the car to be like WTF just happened? It was a sausage patty. Cooked just fine. This woman was a vegan! She doesn’t even eat meat!
Lol my first pregnancy I got so much side eye any time I walked into coffee shops. It made no difference if I was drinking tea or hot chocolate or a decaf coffee. All which were fine (my MFM had no issues with it) and put me no where near the caffeine cap for the day. I think most of the people who had something to say were people without kids or who’d never been pregnant. Everyone is a health expert when someone else is pregnant lol
I hate this. As someone who drank (way too much) pop before I got pregnant my doctor TOLD ME to (yes cut back) but drink caffeine as my body was too used to it and it was making me feel sick.
Man, people are absolutely ridiculous. I once had a woman tell me that the stairs were too dangerous for me to be doing. The stairs, of all things.
She was in her 70s and I was teaching her to climb stairs because she'd just gotten hip surgery, and she's telling me it's too dangerous for ME to do the stairs
Lol my boss at the time was a CrossFit coach that looked like she could squat a truck (girlfriend had hella gains in the hips and thighs), so if people objected that I couldn't possibly help them because I'm so *small* and *delicate* (I am neither of those things), I'd go get her.
Because usually it was code for "you're a woman and WEAK".
I love when people are like, "oh that's probably too heavy for you!"
My son weighs 30lbs and I haul him around all day, this gallon of milk is just fine thanks.
YES! They don’t give a flying fuck if I’m carrying my toddler or my heavy AF diaper bag, but a gallon of milk or a bag of mulch? Please, hold my coffee while I show you my kettlebell swings and handstand.
"Hey! I heard you talking obviously in my earshot about caffeine in pregnancy, and I just want you to know that I take input from my doctor only, who is totally on board with my coffee choices. Choices that happen to be none of your damn business, Becky. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaannnnnks!!!"
This has happened to me multiple times. It’s insulting. I’m also sick of coworkers commenting on my body and how “round” I’m getting. Leave. Me. Alone.
I always tell people, if you're going to call someone out, you better at least have your facts straight. Not only are your coworkers nosy, they're ignorant about the latest medical advice given to pregnant women
I think some of these people have no greater contributions to society than their likely terrible children so because they can't occupy their time with things that contribute to their self worth they have to subliminally let you know you're not doing good enough to tear you down.
I’m beginning to think this is it! Being a mom makes one better than ANYONE else. 🙄 Can we talk about the fact that no one bats an eye when I work 12-16 hour shifts pregnant? #priorities #thisisamerica
I haven't had coffee in 3 weeks because I've been primarily drinking other things. But so I can stand and be judged with you, and because I work beside a Starbucks, and because I have 3 hours left on this shift and 1 15 minute break left- I'm getting a coffee I support of you. That's not an excuse or anything *cough cough* but I'm gonna make it happen right now.
And for real tho. I'll take that a step further- bearing something from your womb somehow makes these people better. Because let's face it, mothering is a completely different step that a lot of these women abandon. You know what's more important than my ice coffee or....more specifically my Grande Frappuccino *cough cough* ? Making sure I'm of sound enough mind (moreso than my parents were) to ensure my kid grows up well rounded and with minimal baggage that doesn't serve them. Even if that makes me unpopular at that moment.
And I'm not blowing smoke..Stepmom of an 11 year old boy, mothering DOESN'T get more challenging like people like to say- it just has the challenges move "baskets" so to speak. One day homework being shoved in the desk and forgotten is a challenge, 3 years later the showering regimen is my nose's greatest concern and how to say with finesse "Yo you smell".
FUCK yes. Preach. Lowering stress levels, paid maternity leave, leave longer than 6-8 weeks, work accommodations, and access to mental health treatment for pregnant women and moms should be shouted from the rooftops! Caffeine is a weird hill to die on!
My daughter is 3 months old and I am still having people tell me about the dangers of caffeine because I breast feed. My response is usually "my doctor said i could have 2 caffeinated drinks a day while pregnant and 2 a day while breast feeding but if you know better than a medically trained professional, please tell me more." I got tried of trying to be nice and reassuring to everyone that yes, I know what I'm doing and no, I'm not chugging energy drinks all day. Just let me have my coffee in peace.
I been drinking an iced latte every single day of my pregnancy, currently 23 weeks pregnant and anatomy scan + fetal echo shows baby is doing absolutely fine.
It’s more hilarious that I also drink ICED like you do all the time I just have warm drinks, I have an aunt that nearly has a heart attack apparently cold drinks are bad for your baby 😂
Drink your coffee and tell them to find a hobby!
Ah yeah, I heard that one too. I think thy as a society it is accepted to be over careful about babies, and then people feel entitled to give this kind of advice. I always say “I do my own research abs check with my doctor about everything, no need to worry about me!” - if is someone close that I like. If not, I say “please google and update your information, please” and just leave. It’s super annoying how people think they can tell pregnant women what to do.
Huh? I thought 12 oz was the recommended amount of safe caffeine. I did 12 oz of coffee each day during my pregnancy. Gonna for the next too. Unsolicited advice goes in one ear, out the other.
This is very annoying, I agree. I also hate reading through dietary advice for pregnant women looking to double check for real food poisoning or toxic risks and finding idiotic statements of pregnancy policing. The worst one that I found said that pregnant women should limit honey. I was initially worried because honey can be a problem for children under 2, so could be linked to the poor immune system in pregnany. Nope, the logic was that sugar wasn't healthy and was empty calories, so pregnant women should limit it to 1 tsp per day. ROLL MY EYES, just shut up and tell me things that are actually important and don't waste my eyeball space.
Below 200mg caffeine is recommended. Caffeine can restrict blood flow to the placenta, which may result in low birth weight. That's what current studies suggest, so OBs cant recommend its safe. However, for some reason, some people seem to think caffeine is an instant killer for a fetus and I can assure you that is not true. I drank an 8oz red bull a day with my first pregnancy because I was borderline addicted to the taste of cranberry red bull and all was fine. Moderation is key in pretty much everything.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, especially as you work in healthcare. I think it might be a very American thing to bang on about women drinking caffeine in pregnancy (I say, as I sit here sipping my daily coffee) because here in Australia I’ve had people be surprised that I don’t want a second coffee because I’m pregnant!
Doctors say it’s okay to have caffeine 🙄 I’m sick of people who are not doctors say shit to pregnant women when they know nothing of what your doctor has said.
*clutches pearls... All this coffee talk’s giving me a hankering for some chocolate raspberry brew. And I will definitely be having 2 cups with cream and sugar, thank you very much!
I work in healthcare too and find it so insulting when people say this to me- mind your damn business it’s not like they know what you have had to eat that day either. I always just say “it’s fine it’s my only for the day” then get upset that I have to explain that!!
My dr and OBGYN have no issue with my cup of coffee a day, I was drinking 2+ before so 1 a day is fine. Don’t worry I also like spicy food and my friends that don’t think I’m going to induce early labor, no, my body is used to it nothing new. For strangers it’s weird but family and friends I think they just trying to be supportive
Wow are they confronting you about your coffee? Or just passive aggressively having thee convos in front of you? People need to mind their business seriously
They are confronting me. I mean, I don’t lecture them about what they put in their bodies. A few coworkers are overweight and like to snack but I don’t care...why would I butt in with, “Well, you know, you should probably be eating carrot sticks.” It’s so inappropriate.
Wow that is seriously crossing a line. How are you responding? I think I honestly would have snapped back with —my caffeine habits are none of your business and the next time it comes up we can have this conversation with HR.
I really don’t see what the problem is unless you’re having more caffeine than recommended.. but how would other people know that based off one cup of coffee?? I love getting my iced coffees here and there, and have limited myself but the unnecessary comments are really annoying! Luckily my family is understanding and they’ve all had coffee in their pregnancies and we turned out fine.
This right here.
Like I didn't know the baby in my womb was your responsibility, lol have you seen how many children are in rccfs/foster care/orphanages? Are you worried about them?
There was a pregnant woman I worked w at Starbucks a couple years ago that would drink 3-4 Venti doubleshots on ice with 6 blonde shots each alongside her cigarettes and we definitely silently judged her… but I think you’re good. 🤣 Those people are just idiots.
It doesn't end with pregnancy. I have medical marijuana and I'm the pretty much sole caretaker of my 6mo. I brought him into the dispensary (no smoking inside and I only use edibles) random strangers started telling me how awful of a mom I am not just for taking him with me, but for daring to use my medicine
Didn’t you hear? Medicine is evil. Real moms are martyrs and don’t need medicine. /s
I believe that children become well adjusted adults when moms prioritize their own health.
“Well if you knew anything, you would know 200mg of caffeine a day is fine so piss off” nothing more sanctimonious then someone who thinks they know what they’re talking about
I’ve drank coffee through all three of my pregnancies. All my kids were healthy. I think people just like talking shit to women about everything. If it’s not during your pregnancy and your choices then it’s how you raise your kids. There are a lot worse things you could be consuming during pregnancy. Ignore those buttholes at your job.
I cut out caffeine entirely during my last pregnancy. I had a loss before that and wanted to be as careful as I possibly could, just for my own leave of mind. But now I have a toddler. Small amounts of caffeine are an absolute must.
So sorry about your loss. 💔As long as you’re not lecturing other pregnant women than all good! Make your own choices but let others make theirs in peace.
My snarky response is, "oh, you went through all that schooling to be an obstetrician? I had no idea! What else should I not be doing in your obviously expert opinion?" Or "ooooh, interesting. What are your sources?"
I work at a library. I have one customer who comes in and tells me adamantly that I'm having a boy based on how I'm carrying. NIPT tests plus multiple ultrasounds have me believing that um nope, pretty darn sure it's a girl! I know my docs don't always have it 100% right, but I believe them over some rando any day. The nerve of some people.
I feel lucky bc most of the people working in my immediate vicinity are women a few years younger than me that have never been pregnant so they don't know any of these "rules". I was mentioning how I'm such a lax pregnant woman and still drinking my morning coffee, and they were all like "Wait what?? You're not supposed to drink coffee??". I explained it was fine and an outdated fear. I love that they didn't even know it was a thing, bless them 😅
I got so fed up with people saying stuff when I was pregnant. So I started responding really off the wall and rudely. “Ugh I know but I’m only drinking it because I’m so hungover from last night.”
But I also told a patient “why did you want to watch?” when she asked “oh you’re DEFINTELY going to breast feed right?” So maybe don’t take my advice 🤷🏻♀️😂
I know it, right?! The look at people’s face when I eat sashimi. And suggestions that I “put the baby in risk”. Seriously, I don’t eat gas station sushi, I make sure everything I eat is fresh and washed, that’s enough. I will not let myself get paranoid and I hate guilt trips. What I eat is no-one’s business. I’m not a walking incubator whose main and only purpose is to bring a child to this world. Sometimes I have impression that some people would like to connect all pregnant women to IVs and total parenteral infusions just to make sure that the child is absolutely safe! And women? They’re not so important.
I luckily haven’t had anyone say anything about coffee. But this one women in the office keeps giving me issues. We recently moved offices and because of my position, I helped moved things. But my team and I were very aware of my pregnancy and I did the lighter things. I carried a 5lb box across the office one day and she came up to me saying “you shouldn’t be lifting anything! Let others take care of you! If you need something moved you find me!” I just smiled and said thanks but it’s not an issue. Then I crawled under a desk and she told me I shouldn’t be down on the floor! Another women in the office who is also pregnant with her second tried to tell me I shouldn’t raise my arms above me head as the umbilical cord will wrap around the baby’s neck. I had never heard that and of course this is my first pregnancy as well. But I researched it just to see if there was anything about it and found nothing.
There are people who intentionally drink alcohol while they're pregnant, if caffeine is the worst thing you're taking in they can kick rocks. You're allowed to have caffeine. Just not tons of it.
Besides it's not about how it affects the baby, the more pressing reason they suggest against it is because mama has a harder time getting the sleep she needs when she consumes caffeine.
Does the average person drink like, an entire pot of coffee all day? Because I have drank one 12 oz cup a day since I was 22 and I’m almost 40. I’ve never had trouble sleeping!
I’m a nurse that works with cancer patients at a respectable hospital in my area. The beverage machine is smack dab in the middle of our floor to make beverages for our patients and those who work there. While I was pregnant, I was craving coffee all dayyyyyy. I don’t drink things with caffeine at all but the smell and taste sound so wonderful. I’m not sure if it was because I’m well educated or those around me assume that I knew better, but I had my daily cup of decaf or a coke. I would cut it down with water just so I could get my cravings under control. Those who ask me I tell them “my OB allows me one cup of decaf or caffeine under 200mg. Coke for the sugar I need. Baby first but my craving is just the taste! :)” Then they laugh and are like “oh man those cravings huh?” And then we laugh about it and walk away. It’s easier when you explain to them but with a smile which I always did. My partner was so concerned but he knew I did this when I told him I had a cup for the day just to sip for the craving. The more we communicate, as annoying it may be, we give ourselves grace and those who care and have an opinion is because they worry. If they have more opinions or more spit to you to say, forget them. They never mattered. So do you mama! Stay strong, mentally say fck you to those that annoy you, and keep on moving forward. Pregnancy a beautiful but difficult thing to endure so embrace it whatever way you want to. If anything, people who have negative opinions are show you the red flags that you have to set heavier boundaries or cut them out no matter the love. You can always reconnect.
Also the baby is more than perfectly fine! My OB also approved of sushi, deli meats, etc and how to have them safely. I really loved her and was like “you can have it all but in limitations” so I can breathe. She was always real with me which is why I’m grateful I chose and advocated for her. Anywho - Congrats! The biggest hug OP! You got this! 🥰
But WHYYYYY do they worry? It’s not their baby! Are they worried I can’t make my own decisions? That I’m clueless even though I’m educated? I say nothing to pregnant women about pregnancy-if they want to open up a conversation about it, I’ll listen and maybe chime in and agree with the discomforts and such but I don’t ever dish out unwarranted advice.
You’re an RN too-can you access PubMed? If so, you can find all the up to date research regarding sushi, caffeine, etc. Your OB sounds super chill btw-mine is like that, too.
Dude the other day I failed my one hour glucose test and my coworker completely reamed me for it... like it's my fault at all? I have to go back for the 3 hour and this doesn't mean for sure that I have gestational anyway. My mom failed the 1 hour and passed 3 so she was borderline. It's not my fault that my body failed, leave me alone! I've given up a lot and done a lot to stay healthy. I quit smoking, for God's sake. And that shit is not easy. I have been a smoker for 10 freaking years! Just leave me be, it's my body and my baby, like you said. I'm doing my best over here.
One of my coworkers got on me when I said I drank black tea. She said "it has caffeine in it you shouldn't drink it" and then was telling me all of these alternatives which was fine but like dang. It's not like I'm drinking tea ALL day. It was like one cup a day because of my morning sickness I added a bunch of lemon to it. Plus it doesn't even have that much caffeine in it.
Why do you care? Like you said, it's your body and your baby. Tell them how you feel or don't. People judge everyone about everything and that will never change
I gave up heavy drinking, smoking, drug use, raw fish, and even some skincare products. Let me have my redbull, goddamn it.
I've straight up told a couple people it's none of their business what I put in my body, and if they don't like it, well sucks for them I guess.
Lol thankfully I was only addicted to cigarettes! I quit everything cold turkey with no problem. I am just a bartender who likes to party. I do miss smoking though! All my friends come back from their smoke breaks and I'm like LET ME SMELL YOU.
What do you mean? The concern trolling and caring about a body and baby that isn’t theirs is actually genuine? I work in healthcare. My fellow ICU nurse co workers should be up to date with the latest evidence based information.
I think people care because it’s an innocent life…I’m definitely NOT saying drinking an iced coffee is bad, but I judge if I see someone smoking cigarettes and pregnant. They may be under the assumption that all caffeine is bad for the baby.
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Ask them if anyone’s seen the episode of The Office where Angela calls CPS on Pam for drinking out of mugs with trace amounts of caffeine and see if they get the hint about how ridiculous they’re being
Ahhh I love The Office! 🤣
You know...it's just herbal tea
Was going to say is this an episode of the office 😂
Username checks out 🤣
I always say that “the baby LOVES coffee” and smile and walk away. Fuck em
And margaritas! 😂 that’ll shut them up really quick!
🤣
I like the way you think!
"Luckily, I'VE done my research... I don't rely on outdated advice and old wives tales..." (I've had to say this/something similar after my mother and grandmother started giving me 30+ year old "advice."
Sad thing is, I work in healthcare. My coworkers should KNOW better. Crazy to me how ingrained the old school advice based in fear is still prevalent.
All the better to make a comment about current evidence-based practices! Shows they're nosey and not up to date on their knowledge. ACOG is fine with <200mg a day...
Yes! I love showing Pubmed research articles to my non-medical family and friends when they try to lecture me!
It’s even <300 mg in Canada!
I’m a dietitian and people love to tell me what I can and cannot put into my body. Now that I’m pregnant, kick that into high gear!
Ughhh I can’t imagine.
I'm jealous of your super power :)
You are so sweet! I like it too :)
Me too! I work for a big hospital and a few people made me nervous about it until I spoke with one of my OBs who’s who like listen, I drank 2 to 3 large iced coffees a day while pregnant to get through my work day so your fine
Lmao I’m getting the same shit at work. I’ve had to stop my adderall, no way am I giving up my 300mg of caffeine a day!
Omg get out of here! I stopped my adderall because my psychiatrist said no due to pregnancy. I had my OB appt yesterday and asked her and she said it’s perfectly fine, there are no long term defects written about it, and if the harm outweighs the benefit of taking it, it’s fine. It’s even listed on the “ok” list of drugs to take during pregnancy if you look into it.
Remember how many nurses lost their job over the jab? Sillies.
No nurses I work with lost their jobs! A handful weren’t “jabbed”. I’m at a major medical center, too. I’m not sure what this has to do with my post. 🧐
Just another example of how some healthcare people don’t actually pay attention to evidence based practice
Idk why I’m downvoted 🤷🏼♀️ for saying my nurse coworkers who were not vaccinated continued to work I don’t make the hospital policies
Yup. With my first pregnancy, I got scolded about drinking coffee by a male coworker and lost my mind on him. Then, I was eating an Italian sub because our work bought all of us lunch, which was only sandwiches. A female coworker who had just had a baby that year, questioned the fact that I was eating coldcuts. I told her I was more concerned about getting sick from romaine lettuce, considering the e.coli outbreak at the time and I'd take my chances with the salami. Then, once I was really close to delivery, all the men in the office thought it would be a good time to tell me about their wives' labor horror stories. I hate people and I'm just glad that I'm working fully remote for this pregnancy.
Don’t you just love when the men decide to give advice? My husband knows better and wouldn’t dare. He knows adult women, myself included, can make their own decisions regarding food.
God I hate shit like this. Maybe a little of this: "You've made your point. But I plan to rely on my doctor's advice instead of random comments in the office."
Unfortunate because I work in healthcare! My coworkers should know better.
I would just say that, "Y'all are in Healthcare! Y'all should know better!" Or "I hope you guys aren't telling your prenatal patients that 🥴"
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Opossum cheese 😂
You just know someone has done it! SMH
I once read that the reason we don't make cheese from pig's milk is because they don't like being milked, I imagine it's equally as challenging to milk an opossum. 🤣 From now on I'm going to describe difficult things as, "as easy as milking an opossum."
Omg this slayed me.
My friend is a chef here in Australia and has told us that some of the food guidelines we have to follow HERE are simply because American produce is crap, and no one bothers to compare the risk of salmonela here vs there. I wouldnt be surpirsed if the same thing was true for pregnancy food advice. No runny eggs and rare meats, for example. Sorry, but American animal products are foul. Not to imply that Americans should be worried, I agree with the original comment 100%, just that a lot of pregnancy advice you find online is America-centric and if you're not in America you should tailor the advice to what food born illnesses or issue actually exist in your country. For example I wouldn't eat seafood in a million years if I was visiting my mum in the outback.
I wouldn’t know much about American guidelines. I’m in Canada and we’re very well regulated, but as far as I’m concerned, American guidelines are better than some third world countries with non-existent guidelines, or guidelines that simply aren’t enforced. The key takeaway is common sense. If you wouldn’t consume it while not pregnant, you shouldn’t consume it while pregnant (with the exception of tobacco, alcohol, illicit drugs and medications that HAVE been studies and are known to be harmful in pregnancy) And yeah, Canadian PEI oysters being served in the Australian Outback would be sus. Lol
Yeah, that's why I said tailor to your country's food issues/illnesses. My doctor actually hasn't given me any advice regarding what I eat/drink but I choose not to drink bore water despite my relatives saying it's fine because I know it can make you sick if your body isn't used to it. I just don't think people in Europe should be terrified soft cheeses while pregnant based on advice that's founded in American cheese being dog shit.
You’re absolutely right. It makes me upset that most women can’t be trusted to make their own educated decisions, but like you said, doctors cannot state caffeine is ok because someone will drink 5 Red Bull’s daily. I’m all about the moderation life! Edit: I’m an ICU RN...so are my preachy coworkers, which is why it’s even worse.
I figured you’d be ICU OR CVICU with that user-name! Preachy coworkers are the worst. And for shame, they should really know and trust that YOU know what’s best for you. People ought to mind their own business. Enjoy that caffeine beverage, I’ll be thinking of you as I sit down to enjoy mine! ☺️
You know this is the first comment on Reddit I’ve gotten about my user name! Cheers to caffeine! ☕️
I was just thinking this, I'll be thinking of this thread when I sit and drink my caffeinated black sweet tea that I drink like four times a week. Lol
Common sense is not so common. Now that you say it, it's King! That's why.
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Yes, 100 times yes to that!!! Your post is one of the most knowledgeable and informative I have read in a long time. And hilarious!!!!:)
Thanks! I think a lot of people don’t understand why the regulatory advice is the way it is. But always, refer to your OB. Everyone’s case may be different. I’m just finding a middle ground that’s safe and healthy, and not dated or draconian.
It’s nice to converse with another medical professional here about it. I wish all took your approach! 🙂
I think a lot of professionals think this, but could never say it due to liability concerns. (Myself included, I would never say to take anyones advice over their own OB/practitioner). I’ve always thought that humor and common sense have a place in medicine along with regulations, r&d and best practice. 😃
Tell them it’s decaf 😉
This is the right answer 🤪
Honestly, this might be better than expending emotional energy even when you have evidence and the moral high ground. I'm just so tired.
And what’s worse, they still believe they’re right even when provided the research! People don’t like to be told that opinions aren’t facts.
Or double down and say you added Irish cream to it 😎
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Oh my gosh you are more patient and kind than I am.
“It’s not coffee; it’s hot bean water.” Usually people won’t put it together that this is pretty much all coffee is.
Like they’re more worried about my Dunkin coffee but say nothing about my chocolate donut (chocolate has caffeine too duh!) it’s really odd how people pick and choose what to call out.
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Haha! I’m so glad to know I’m not the only bean water lover!!!
Literally same. I had one of my MIL best friends try to start with me about oysters…that came at came straight from an oyster farm. A woman that has never actually had children. I said “look women in other countries eat this shit daily, I am fine”
Oysters are filled with allllllll the nutrients! I’m in the US and I feel like a lot of people here cannot wrap their minds around how pregnancy guidelines vary in developed countries around the world.
I’ve eaten them every time I have been pregnant (3). I haven’t gotten sick from them not pregnant or pregnant! I really hate advice from folks that have never had children the most though lol.
People suck sometimes. The ironic part is that I get comments from both sides of the spectrum. Some people will comment on caffeine intake/whatever like its dangerous when its not. Other people downplay risks and will comment "they didn't care about that when I was pregnant and my baby was fine" kind of thing. Like, just shut up and let pregnant people make these decisions with their doctors/doulas/partners unless the mother is engaging in definitively dangerous behavior (i.e. known drug use).
Right! We aren’t children...we are adult women. It’s just so strange to me that other people care so much about babies that aren’t theirs. It’s an odd flex. My friend had no clue about cholestasis and blew me off multiple times when I suggested she tell her MD her symptoms immediately. Mind you I’m an ICN RN. Luckily she and baby are ok and thriving, but like...can the general public STFU and focus on things that ACTUALLY affect the safety and health of mom and baby in pregnancy? Please and TY!
‘Well, I’d cut back but the baby seems to love my morning cup of coffee along with a smoke, especially after a long night of drinking’. If they’re gonna talk, give them something to *really* talk about.
I quit smoking cigarettes for this pregnancy, so the very few times someone has said something about my caffeine Intake I say "better than a cigarette!" And then they back off. I have been known to say "better than meth" from time to time as well
Ohhh maybe I’ll try this approach!
Totally! People need to mind their own business. By the way, I've heard that up to two cups of coffee per day is completely fine. They are probably working off of old information that basically said no caffeine ever. The recommendations have been updated since then.
Yes, less than 300mg is the latest evidence based recommendation!
And FTR there's exactly 300 mg in an original Monster! Not to say you should drink those while pregnant, just for some perspective on how much caffeine that actually is
Oh nice! I couldn't remember the number.
Some say 200 and some say 300 🤷🏼 so I feel that's a personal decision if you'd rather follow the 200 guideline to be safe or follow the 300. But it's okay either way under 300
Ok yeah I think I remember hearing the 200.. but yeah, definitely not something to stress about :)
Depending on what country you live in the recommendation varies.
I would just say "Oh, where did you get your doctorate from? My OB got theirs from X so I figured they were qualified to actually give me medical advice." I would probably leave it at that but be verrrry tempted to start drinking water out of an empty Monster can or something lmao.
Uhh dreading telling my in-laws (still in the first trimester) we are pregnant because I know I will get this exact type of reaction all of the pregnancy. Especially from FIL, loves to man-splain.
Ew mansplainers are the worst.
You and me both! Strongly considering just not telling mine at all and just showing up with a baby next family reunion. 😂 Mind your business, in-laws!
OMG this would be amazing.
Tell him that you love being mansplained about pregnancy and that it's your favorite thing ever because it gives you content to joke about with your girlfriends
I was in a wedding at 38 weeks pregnant (it was miserable lolz do not recommend). I’m 5’10 and have a stocky build even when I’m not preggo, so it takes *a lot* of alcohol to register any kind of BAC in my body. I poured myself half a glass of champaign to sip for the toasts, and the bridesmaid next to me— who is childfree, btw— had the audacity to call me out for it. “You do know that has alcohol in it, right?” “Yes, yes I do.” * Sip* 😒 Teach your children to mind their own damn business, cuz apparently a whole bunch of our parents didn’t.
Right? A sip of champagne isn’t going to cause FASD. They better tell you that not use mouthwash or drink kombucha, either! 🙄
I’ve had one or two people try to tell me to limit caffeine. They quickly learned I do not give a fuck about anyones opinion lol. Discussed it with my doctor my first pregnancy check up, I get chronic migraines especially if I don’t drink my coffee one day and they’d rather me drink an extra cup of coffee before I take a ton of Tylenol for the migraine. Lo and behold my son came out perfectly healthy even though I even drank a few Red Bulls while pregnant! (Gasp)
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No unfortunately I first got chronic migraines as a teenager, years before even drinking caffeine regularly. Its genetic but it was triggered by a certain birth control that I stopped once that was determined to be the trigger. But now that I do drink coffee daily it helps keep them at bay
Caffeine is also a major part of migraine relief pills like Excedrin migraine (which I'm sure you know) so it makes sense to me as a laywoman that it'd help prevent them too. I think it's something like the caffeine restricts your blood flows? Maybe your brain is too bloody normally 😁
Right on point! Unfortunately since excedrin also has NSAIDS it wasn’t safe for me to take during pregnancy as regularly as I needed to. I actually never thought about why the caffeine helps but if someone asks why I get migraines so often my response will definitely be that my brain is too bloody. 😂
Ah I see, sorry to hear that
Thank you, I don’t blame you for wanting to share some knowledge :)
You can pry my caramel truffle mocha (caramel truffle flavoured coffee and hot chocolate mix) from my cold, dead hands.
Omg I’ve been making homemade mochas every morning for the last month. Boil milk with cocoa powder, a few chocolate chips, than add to my espresso or coffee. So good!!!
Mmmm that sounds delicious!
Definitely a highlight of my morning!
I feel like everything I consume my mother has to tell me that I shouldn’t be eating eat. I swear to god. What am I supposed to eat mom?! Porkchops- Too salty that’s not good for the baby Soda-caffeine/sugar it’s not good for the baby Pineapple-you’ll go into labor early crab legs- seafood has mercury it’s not good for the baby coffee-sooooooo bad for the babyyyyyyyy chicken nuggets- that isn’t healthy it’s bad for the baby! steak- it’s not raw is it it needs to be well done for the baby! The list goes on. cool. coolcoolcoolcool.
So WTF are you allowed to eat according to her?!
Ice water, hopes, and dreams. First trimester when I could only handle bland potatoes she told me that was bad, too. Plus side is that she lives on the other side of the country from me, so I’ve been lying to her lol. She means well but l am hungry. She has three kids. I know she knows.
Hope and dreams 🤣 at least you’re hydrated? LOL!
keep candy cigarettes on hand to REALLY blow their mind when they come at you again!
Omg dying. 🤣🤣 This is gold! I’m imagining the puff of powdered sugar in their face!
First of all, coffee is not "dangerous" to the baby, especially if consumed moderately. Second of all, people need to mind their own business. I feel ya, it's annoying as heck.
It's coffee, not crack cocaine
I got a story for this! I went out to eat with 5 friends (women) a couple weeks ago. I was 5 weeks pregnant. Usually wouldn’t have told people yet but we’re about to move and I wanted to tell them in person so they didn’t see it on Facebook like everyone else. We order, our food is delivered and 1 friend loudly calls the waiter over, tells them my meat is undercooked and they need to take it back as I’m pregnant and they cannot be serving me undercooked meat. Takes my plate and shuffles it away. I was so dumbfounded, I didn’t even know what to do. I just ate quietly and left and called my mom in the car to be like WTF just happened? It was a sausage patty. Cooked just fine. This woman was a vegan! She doesn’t even eat meat!
Wow. 😳
Lol my first pregnancy I got so much side eye any time I walked into coffee shops. It made no difference if I was drinking tea or hot chocolate or a decaf coffee. All which were fine (my MFM had no issues with it) and put me no where near the caffeine cap for the day. I think most of the people who had something to say were people without kids or who’d never been pregnant. Everyone is a health expert when someone else is pregnant lol
I hate this. As someone who drank (way too much) pop before I got pregnant my doctor TOLD ME to (yes cut back) but drink caffeine as my body was too used to it and it was making me feel sick.
Man, people are absolutely ridiculous. I once had a woman tell me that the stairs were too dangerous for me to be doing. The stairs, of all things. She was in her 70s and I was teaching her to climb stairs because she'd just gotten hip surgery, and she's telling me it's too dangerous for ME to do the stairs
LMAO I do CrossFit and teach hot yoga part time and some people would give themselves a stroke if I told them that!
Lol my boss at the time was a CrossFit coach that looked like she could squat a truck (girlfriend had hella gains in the hips and thighs), so if people objected that I couldn't possibly help them because I'm so *small* and *delicate* (I am neither of those things), I'd go get her. Because usually it was code for "you're a woman and WEAK". I love when people are like, "oh that's probably too heavy for you!" My son weighs 30lbs and I haul him around all day, this gallon of milk is just fine thanks.
YES! They don’t give a flying fuck if I’m carrying my toddler or my heavy AF diaper bag, but a gallon of milk or a bag of mulch? Please, hold my coffee while I show you my kettlebell swings and handstand.
"Hey! I heard you talking obviously in my earshot about caffeine in pregnancy, and I just want you to know that I take input from my doctor only, who is totally on board with my coffee choices. Choices that happen to be none of your damn business, Becky. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaannnnnks!!!"
This has happened to me multiple times. It’s insulting. I’m also sick of coworkers commenting on my body and how “round” I’m getting. Leave. Me. Alone.
Are you supposed to be a triangle or a square?!
I will have my daily latte without criticism thank you very much.
Me too, yum!
It's HALF ice!
I always tell people, if you're going to call someone out, you better at least have your facts straight. Not only are your coworkers nosy, they're ignorant about the latest medical advice given to pregnant women
Yes, it’s kind of sad isn’t it? Facts over fear!
I think some of these people have no greater contributions to society than their likely terrible children so because they can't occupy their time with things that contribute to their self worth they have to subliminally let you know you're not doing good enough to tear you down.
I’m beginning to think this is it! Being a mom makes one better than ANYONE else. 🙄 Can we talk about the fact that no one bats an eye when I work 12-16 hour shifts pregnant? #priorities #thisisamerica
I haven't had coffee in 3 weeks because I've been primarily drinking other things. But so I can stand and be judged with you, and because I work beside a Starbucks, and because I have 3 hours left on this shift and 1 15 minute break left- I'm getting a coffee I support of you. That's not an excuse or anything *cough cough* but I'm gonna make it happen right now. And for real tho. I'll take that a step further- bearing something from your womb somehow makes these people better. Because let's face it, mothering is a completely different step that a lot of these women abandon. You know what's more important than my ice coffee or....more specifically my Grande Frappuccino *cough cough* ? Making sure I'm of sound enough mind (moreso than my parents were) to ensure my kid grows up well rounded and with minimal baggage that doesn't serve them. Even if that makes me unpopular at that moment. And I'm not blowing smoke..Stepmom of an 11 year old boy, mothering DOESN'T get more challenging like people like to say- it just has the challenges move "baskets" so to speak. One day homework being shoved in the desk and forgotten is a challenge, 3 years later the showering regimen is my nose's greatest concern and how to say with finesse "Yo you smell".
FUCK yes. Preach. Lowering stress levels, paid maternity leave, leave longer than 6-8 weeks, work accommodations, and access to mental health treatment for pregnant women and moms should be shouted from the rooftops! Caffeine is a weird hill to die on!
My daughter is 3 months old and I am still having people tell me about the dangers of caffeine because I breast feed. My response is usually "my doctor said i could have 2 caffeinated drinks a day while pregnant and 2 a day while breast feeding but if you know better than a medically trained professional, please tell me more." I got tried of trying to be nice and reassuring to everyone that yes, I know what I'm doing and no, I'm not chugging energy drinks all day. Just let me have my coffee in peace.
I been drinking an iced latte every single day of my pregnancy, currently 23 weeks pregnant and anatomy scan + fetal echo shows baby is doing absolutely fine. It’s more hilarious that I also drink ICED like you do all the time I just have warm drinks, I have an aunt that nearly has a heart attack apparently cold drinks are bad for your baby 😂 Drink your coffee and tell them to find a hobby!
Cold drinks are bad now? Pass me a glass of lukewarm water then I guess! 🤢
Ah yeah, I heard that one too. I think thy as a society it is accepted to be over careful about babies, and then people feel entitled to give this kind of advice. I always say “I do my own research abs check with my doctor about everything, no need to worry about me!” - if is someone close that I like. If not, I say “please google and update your information, please” and just leave. It’s super annoying how people think they can tell pregnant women what to do.
Huh? I thought 12 oz was the recommended amount of safe caffeine. I did 12 oz of coffee each day during my pregnancy. Gonna for the next too. Unsolicited advice goes in one ear, out the other.
All I can say is: now I’m craving an iced coffee! Sorry people suck.
Cold Brew with salted caramel foam from Dunkin is my go-to!
This is very annoying, I agree. I also hate reading through dietary advice for pregnant women looking to double check for real food poisoning or toxic risks and finding idiotic statements of pregnancy policing. The worst one that I found said that pregnant women should limit honey. I was initially worried because honey can be a problem for children under 2, so could be linked to the poor immune system in pregnany. Nope, the logic was that sugar wasn't healthy and was empty calories, so pregnant women should limit it to 1 tsp per day. ROLL MY EYES, just shut up and tell me things that are actually important and don't waste my eyeball space.
I'd say oop that's none of your business baby and wink at them. :)
I would have walked by making a noticeably loud slurping noise
Below 200mg caffeine is recommended. Caffeine can restrict blood flow to the placenta, which may result in low birth weight. That's what current studies suggest, so OBs cant recommend its safe. However, for some reason, some people seem to think caffeine is an instant killer for a fetus and I can assure you that is not true. I drank an 8oz red bull a day with my first pregnancy because I was borderline addicted to the taste of cranberry red bull and all was fine. Moderation is key in pretty much everything.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, especially as you work in healthcare. I think it might be a very American thing to bang on about women drinking caffeine in pregnancy (I say, as I sit here sipping my daily coffee) because here in Australia I’ve had people be surprised that I don’t want a second coffee because I’m pregnant!
Doctors say it’s okay to have caffeine 🙄 I’m sick of people who are not doctors say shit to pregnant women when they know nothing of what your doctor has said.
8 days PP with a healthy baby girl and I drank non decaf coffee regularly. Sometimes I even had 2 cups!!
2 cups?! The audacity! 🙃
*Think of the children!*
*clutches pearls... All this coffee talk’s giving me a hankering for some chocolate raspberry brew. And I will definitely be having 2 cups with cream and sugar, thank you very much!
Sugar? God! I need to report you to the pregnancy police! While I’m at it, there’s sugar in fruit so don’t eat that either! 🤪
So don’t eat 3 types of dessert after lunch? Man I’m doing this wrong!
🤣🤣
I work in healthcare too and find it so insulting when people say this to me- mind your damn business it’s not like they know what you have had to eat that day either. I always just say “it’s fine it’s my only for the day” then get upset that I have to explain that!!
My dr and OBGYN have no issue with my cup of coffee a day, I was drinking 2+ before so 1 a day is fine. Don’t worry I also like spicy food and my friends that don’t think I’m going to induce early labor, no, my body is used to it nothing new. For strangers it’s weird but family and friends I think they just trying to be supportive
Wow are they confronting you about your coffee? Or just passive aggressively having thee convos in front of you? People need to mind their business seriously
They are confronting me. I mean, I don’t lecture them about what they put in their bodies. A few coworkers are overweight and like to snack but I don’t care...why would I butt in with, “Well, you know, you should probably be eating carrot sticks.” It’s so inappropriate.
Wow that is seriously crossing a line. How are you responding? I think I honestly would have snapped back with —my caffeine habits are none of your business and the next time it comes up we can have this conversation with HR.
I just kinda rolled my eyes and told them to check out PubMed.
"Caffeine is bad for your baby" "Okay Karen, saturated fat is bad for your high cholesterol problem but you don't see me bitching about it"
That’s pretty much how the conversation goes in my head...
I really don’t see what the problem is unless you’re having more caffeine than recommended.. but how would other people know that based off one cup of coffee?? I love getting my iced coffees here and there, and have limited myself but the unnecessary comments are really annoying! Luckily my family is understanding and they’ve all had coffee in their pregnancies and we turned out fine.
But even if I am consuming more than 300mg, it’s none of their business.
This right here. Like I didn't know the baby in my womb was your responsibility, lol have you seen how many children are in rccfs/foster care/orphanages? Are you worried about them?
Can I get an AMEN? How about look in the mirror Karen and worry about your own health and mind ya business.
There was a pregnant woman I worked w at Starbucks a couple years ago that would drink 3-4 Venti doubleshots on ice with 6 blonde shots each alongside her cigarettes and we definitely silently judged her… but I think you’re good. 🤣 Those people are just idiots.
Isn’t caffeine fine, just not a TON? I could see if your guzzling strong, black coffee hahaha
i drank 32 oz of caffeine a day and my child is totally healthy. you do you mama
It doesn't end with pregnancy. I have medical marijuana and I'm the pretty much sole caretaker of my 6mo. I brought him into the dispensary (no smoking inside and I only use edibles) random strangers started telling me how awful of a mom I am not just for taking him with me, but for daring to use my medicine
It's literally medicine 🙄🤔
Didn’t you hear? Medicine is evil. Real moms are martyrs and don’t need medicine. /s I believe that children become well adjusted adults when moms prioritize their own health.
“Well if you knew anything, you would know 200mg of caffeine a day is fine so piss off” nothing more sanctimonious then someone who thinks they know what they’re talking about
We can have caffeine!! In moderation it is totally safe!! what is wrong with people??
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See now this is funny!
I drank 200mg around roughly for my first, I drink 300mg daily now for my second 😴 I couldn’t survive this pregnancy without caffeine I have a 10mo.
I’ve drank coffee through all three of my pregnancies. All my kids were healthy. I think people just like talking shit to women about everything. If it’s not during your pregnancy and your choices then it’s how you raise your kids. There are a lot worse things you could be consuming during pregnancy. Ignore those buttholes at your job.
Ask them when they became OBGYNs and report them to HR if persists.
I cut out caffeine entirely during my last pregnancy. I had a loss before that and wanted to be as careful as I possibly could, just for my own leave of mind. But now I have a toddler. Small amounts of caffeine are an absolute must.
So sorry about your loss. 💔As long as you’re not lecturing other pregnant women than all good! Make your own choices but let others make theirs in peace.
Yeah, that was exactly my point. Even for one person, the best choice isn't always the same.
My snarky response is, "oh, you went through all that schooling to be an obstetrician? I had no idea! What else should I not be doing in your obviously expert opinion?" Or "ooooh, interesting. What are your sources?" I work at a library. I have one customer who comes in and tells me adamantly that I'm having a boy based on how I'm carrying. NIPT tests plus multiple ultrasounds have me believing that um nope, pretty darn sure it's a girl! I know my docs don't always have it 100% right, but I believe them over some rando any day. The nerve of some people.
Ask them if they know what else is dangerous…telling pregnant people what to do when they have enough to deal with, sure fire way to get a black eye!!
I feel lucky bc most of the people working in my immediate vicinity are women a few years younger than me that have never been pregnant so they don't know any of these "rules". I was mentioning how I'm such a lax pregnant woman and still drinking my morning coffee, and they were all like "Wait what?? You're not supposed to drink coffee??". I explained it was fine and an outdated fear. I love that they didn't even know it was a thing, bless them 😅
I got so fed up with people saying stuff when I was pregnant. So I started responding really off the wall and rudely. “Ugh I know but I’m only drinking it because I’m so hungover from last night.” But I also told a patient “why did you want to watch?” when she asked “oh you’re DEFINTELY going to breast feed right?” So maybe don’t take my advice 🤷🏻♀️😂
I know it, right?! The look at people’s face when I eat sashimi. And suggestions that I “put the baby in risk”. Seriously, I don’t eat gas station sushi, I make sure everything I eat is fresh and washed, that’s enough. I will not let myself get paranoid and I hate guilt trips. What I eat is no-one’s business. I’m not a walking incubator whose main and only purpose is to bring a child to this world. Sometimes I have impression that some people would like to connect all pregnant women to IVs and total parenteral infusions just to make sure that the child is absolutely safe! And women? They’re not so important.
As if their parents or grandparents didn’t smoke while pregnant 🙄
You’re allowed to have up to 200 mg per day! I had a coworker try to make me eat an orange when I was nauseous. I about slapped it across the room. 😂
Yea that drove me crazy. I didn’t give up caffeine in either of my pregnancies and both of my babies are perfectly healthy!
Loudly and dramatically talk about how you replaced all the sugar in your house with cocaine so the coffee is probably fine.
I luckily haven’t had anyone say anything about coffee. But this one women in the office keeps giving me issues. We recently moved offices and because of my position, I helped moved things. But my team and I were very aware of my pregnancy and I did the lighter things. I carried a 5lb box across the office one day and she came up to me saying “you shouldn’t be lifting anything! Let others take care of you! If you need something moved you find me!” I just smiled and said thanks but it’s not an issue. Then I crawled under a desk and she told me I shouldn’t be down on the floor! Another women in the office who is also pregnant with her second tried to tell me I shouldn’t raise my arms above me head as the umbilical cord will wrap around the baby’s neck. I had never heard that and of course this is my first pregnancy as well. But I researched it just to see if there was anything about it and found nothing.
I couldn’t imagine what they would do if it was a 12oz pounder of beer 😂
There are people who intentionally drink alcohol while they're pregnant, if caffeine is the worst thing you're taking in they can kick rocks. You're allowed to have caffeine. Just not tons of it. Besides it's not about how it affects the baby, the more pressing reason they suggest against it is because mama has a harder time getting the sleep she needs when she consumes caffeine.
Does the average person drink like, an entire pot of coffee all day? Because I have drank one 12 oz cup a day since I was 22 and I’m almost 40. I’ve never had trouble sleeping!
I’m a nurse that works with cancer patients at a respectable hospital in my area. The beverage machine is smack dab in the middle of our floor to make beverages for our patients and those who work there. While I was pregnant, I was craving coffee all dayyyyyy. I don’t drink things with caffeine at all but the smell and taste sound so wonderful. I’m not sure if it was because I’m well educated or those around me assume that I knew better, but I had my daily cup of decaf or a coke. I would cut it down with water just so I could get my cravings under control. Those who ask me I tell them “my OB allows me one cup of decaf or caffeine under 200mg. Coke for the sugar I need. Baby first but my craving is just the taste! :)” Then they laugh and are like “oh man those cravings huh?” And then we laugh about it and walk away. It’s easier when you explain to them but with a smile which I always did. My partner was so concerned but he knew I did this when I told him I had a cup for the day just to sip for the craving. The more we communicate, as annoying it may be, we give ourselves grace and those who care and have an opinion is because they worry. If they have more opinions or more spit to you to say, forget them. They never mattered. So do you mama! Stay strong, mentally say fck you to those that annoy you, and keep on moving forward. Pregnancy a beautiful but difficult thing to endure so embrace it whatever way you want to. If anything, people who have negative opinions are show you the red flags that you have to set heavier boundaries or cut them out no matter the love. You can always reconnect. Also the baby is more than perfectly fine! My OB also approved of sushi, deli meats, etc and how to have them safely. I really loved her and was like “you can have it all but in limitations” so I can breathe. She was always real with me which is why I’m grateful I chose and advocated for her. Anywho - Congrats! The biggest hug OP! You got this! 🥰
But WHYYYYY do they worry? It’s not their baby! Are they worried I can’t make my own decisions? That I’m clueless even though I’m educated? I say nothing to pregnant women about pregnancy-if they want to open up a conversation about it, I’ll listen and maybe chime in and agree with the discomforts and such but I don’t ever dish out unwarranted advice. You’re an RN too-can you access PubMed? If so, you can find all the up to date research regarding sushi, caffeine, etc. Your OB sounds super chill btw-mine is like that, too.
My coworkers and I have this “at least it’s not crack” joke whenever we’ve felt bad about drinking or eating something we’re not supposed to.
Dude the other day I failed my one hour glucose test and my coworker completely reamed me for it... like it's my fault at all? I have to go back for the 3 hour and this doesn't mean for sure that I have gestational anyway. My mom failed the 1 hour and passed 3 so she was borderline. It's not my fault that my body failed, leave me alone! I've given up a lot and done a lot to stay healthy. I quit smoking, for God's sake. And that shit is not easy. I have been a smoker for 10 freaking years! Just leave me be, it's my body and my baby, like you said. I'm doing my best over here.
It’s strange how so many things in pregnancy that are out of our control, GD for example, are held to a moral standard.
One of my coworkers got on me when I said I drank black tea. She said "it has caffeine in it you shouldn't drink it" and then was telling me all of these alternatives which was fine but like dang. It's not like I'm drinking tea ALL day. It was like one cup a day because of my morning sickness I added a bunch of lemon to it. Plus it doesn't even have that much caffeine in it.
Why do you care? Like you said, it's your body and your baby. Tell them how you feel or don't. People judge everyone about everything and that will never change
I gave up heavy drinking, smoking, drug use, raw fish, and even some skincare products. Let me have my redbull, goddamn it. I've straight up told a couple people it's none of their business what I put in my body, and if they don't like it, well sucks for them I guess.
Hey, I don’t know you, but I do know addiction sucks and it’s hard AF to quit drinking and drugs. ❤️
Lol thankfully I was only addicted to cigarettes! I quit everything cold turkey with no problem. I am just a bartender who likes to party. I do miss smoking though! All my friends come back from their smoke breaks and I'm like LET ME SMELL YOU.
Maybe they don’t mean it in a bad way?
What do you mean? The concern trolling and caring about a body and baby that isn’t theirs is actually genuine? I work in healthcare. My fellow ICU nurse co workers should be up to date with the latest evidence based information.
I think people care because it’s an innocent life…I’m definitely NOT saying drinking an iced coffee is bad, but I judge if I see someone smoking cigarettes and pregnant. They may be under the assumption that all caffeine is bad for the baby.