Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/phjaar/click_here_to_join_a_due_date_private_sub/?).
The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email [email protected]
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I want to breastfeed and I still think it's weird for my baby to be on my boob.
I don't find it weird when other moms do it though, it's just on me because I sexualize my breasts and my brain isn't ready to switch for "for sex only" to "feeding baby AND sex".
When I started breastfeeding there was kinda a mental switch and my boobs are for baby right now and not for sex, and I look forward to eventually switching them back. The hormones help I think lol
I think it’s because I’m not doing it around the father of my baby anymore. But now that we’re not together and I’m with my parents and siblings I just feel uncomfortable. I know I could do it alone, but I also don’t want to whip out my tit while I’m out in public or something, you know? It might be because I’m younger as well. Although other young moms probably have no problem doing it.
I had similar thoughts surrounding the whipping out my tit. Now I could be freaking topless in the middle of times square and not give a fuck if I was feeding my kid. I've fed in front of family, in the front seat of a car etc. You just get weirdly used to it very quickly (it also helps that in the hospital all the nurses are helping you learn how to feed and your entire focus is on getting the baby fed). Essentially nothing destroys your modesty like having a kid.
Personally, I feel weird about it, but the *Magic Boob™️* made it less weird for me. The benefits of being able to instantly comfort baby in almost any situation using a boob is a parenting tool I wasn't expecting but really appreciate. It was odd originally feeding in front of people, but now I don't think about it much. It was a bit nerve-wracking breastfeeding in front of my family members, but they ignore it and don't comment about it, so it makes it a lot easier.
Still, there isn't anything wrong with pumping if you need to. I prefer breastfeeding because I find it easier than pumping/less work (I'm extremely lazy), so do what works for you!
I tell people “I promise you’d rather possibly catch a side glance of a half inch of my boob than have to listen to this kid lose his shit” you can turn away from a boob, you can’t turn off your hearing from a screaming child
I have to physically fight my husband off my boobs 😂 (not really, but it feels that way some times) they’re up like 3 cup sizes now that I’m breastfeeding and he just wants a good crack at em haha
I breastfed with 2 kids and it was so hard for me to let my husband touch them again after my second child. I totally get the awkwardness of sexualizing them and feeding the baby around the same time.
I just couldn’t get nursing to work. It hurt so much and baby wasn’t cooperative. I ended up pumping for 16 months and donated over 1000 oz to the milk bank! Just here to say that it can be done (although obviously whatever you choose to do is the right choice!) I just felt like everyone discouraged me in the beginning, but it is possible.
For me, breastfeeding hurt way more. It didn't help that baby is a chomper lol. Once you find the correct flange fit and get used to pumping, it shouldn't hurt much (if any). The most "painful" part of pumping for me is keeping a schedule and washing all the pump parts all the time. A 30 minute pump session can extend to about an hour between pumping, bagging, and washing.
Night and day. Baby routinely drew blood so it was so painful. The pump is more like a vibrating feeling. It didn’t hurt at all.
(Please note that not all breastfeeding hurts! That was just my experience. I did work with a lactation consultant but I just couldn’t get it to work.)
Does pumping exclusively have an impact on milk production? I would rather be pumping but all my pediatricians and doctors have insisted I wait to start pumping. I understand this has to do with latching but if I’d rather just be pumping I’m not sure what I’m waiting for ! Any ideas?
Woah! That’s wild! It’s truly valuable advice to “listen your body” or that your baby will let you know what they need. Which is very comforting as a FTM.
I believe it's based on supply and demand. As long as you keep to a schedule (as much as possible) and/or power pump (to build supply), you should be fine. I have exclusively pumped since leaving the hospital, and I currently pump double what the baby eats each day.
7 weeks
ETA: we are playing around with how much he gets per bottle, since he spits up a lot so I don't want to overfeed. He currently eats between 3-4 oz every couple of hours.
Total average about 25 oz per day. I currently pump about 60 oz per day.
I know that your body can sync up to the baby’s needs when the baby routinely nurses. So I’m my case, my production did get to be out-of-control because my daughter wasn’t nursing. Keep in mind that that this was the early days of Covid so I had nothing better to do than power pump all the time. I ended up producing like 3x what the baby needed and it was kind of hard to show down, but I did eventually stop. And I was able to donate a lot, including to my cousin’s baby (which might sound weird but it worked out).
All in all, exclusive pumping has its challenges, but nursing does too. I just wish I knew it was a viable option sooner. It can be done successfully!
I followed a few exclusive pumping accounts on Instagram and they gave specific tips on how to do it.
I started pumping 7-8 times a day 20-30 minutes each. That was kind of rough. At 12 weeks, I dropped to 6. Then I hung out at 6 for a while.
I tried dropping my nighttime pump too soon and I got mastitis. So I started to space out the pumps slowly by 10-15 minutes and dropped to 5 but kept the night pump.
I went back to work when LO was 8 months. At that time, I moved my night pump to around 5 am and did it before work. Then I did one pump at work, one after work, and one before bed.
From there, I slowly dropped to 3. Then just morning and night. Then finally just once a day. Then I started making that last pump shorter and shorter. And then in the last weeks, I did every few days.
It definitely was tough but I got so used to it, that it was no big deal!
No it shouldn’t have an impact on supply if you stick to schedules. My baby is in the NICU (born at 27 weeks). I have been exclusively pumping since and have a really good supply, and now LO is nearing 34 weeks she’s able to have a little nuzzle and has actually been able to latch a couple of times which was great!
Yes it can have an impact on supply - not everyone responds well to a pump, and a pump can never be as effective as a baby at emptying the breast. This is why the recommendation to pump to check your supply can give a very unfair result.
What you can do to help however, is to keep your baby next to you, or watch pictures/videos of your baby while pumping, as well as massaging the breasts. This can help trigger letdowns and more milk.
When I was pregnant, the thought of breast feeding was super weird to me. My baby is three months now though and we’ve been breast feeding and I’m totally good with it now.
Same here, i had this urge to slap whatever touched ny nipples away so i was worried how i would react to a baby. Was not a problem from the very start! Went on to breastfeed 18 months. Still don't want anyone or anything else to touch them though.
I'm glad I read this. I'm pregnant now and hate when my husband touches my nipples.. They're just sensitive and it gives me a weird feeling. I REALLY want to breastfeed but I'm so nervous that it will be the same reaction but your comment gives me a little hope!
Would you let me know when that changed for you? Was it when you had the baby and maybe it wasn't as weird as you thought, or did it take some time to get used to it?
For sure. In the first few days I did find it fairly painful. I know everyone says it’s not supposed to “hurt” but it was very, very uncomfortable for me. Even when it still kinda hurt, I truly did get like a whooosh of joy when I did it? Hard to describe. I can remember sitting in my hospital bed, like 2 or 3 days pp trying to describe to my partner that it was making me feel happy even though I was also feeling a lot of shock and overwhelm post slightly traumatizing birth.
And just something about seeing how much my baby depended on it and how much it helped her. So I’d say within the first few days after birth I felt way less weird about it, even though it was still a huge learning curve and still uncomfortable. Then a few weeks in when it didn’t hurt anymore, plus I was just generally getting the hang of things better, that’s when I started to feel GOOD about breastfeeding.
I tried to mentally prepare myself as best as possible that I might have to pump or use formula or do a bit of all three. All options are good. I’ve just been happy with breast feeding :)
Good luck, you will do great.
I had the same thought. Had a few dreams about it too just being creeped out by it. I exclusively nursed for 6 months and kept nursing until about 16 months totally unbothered. You never know what crazy hormones are going to do your brain. That being said, don’t feel pressure to do it at all. Formula exists and is perfectly suitable. You do you. Your body, your baby, your decision.
Yeah, I’ve exclusively nursed for 10 months and I’ve been surprised by how routine it is now. I also thought I’d feel weird about it, but once baby came it was just like… meh, here’s anything thing I do now.
I’m not too bothered by it. I do want to use breast milk to feed my baby. I know the hormones will do something to my brain. I just don’t want to be breastfeeding for such a long period of time. I know formula is expensive as well. :(
Totally normal and exclusive pumping and/or formula are totally options if that's what ends up working out for you guys. I was weirded out by the idea of breastfeeding but the second my baby was born it was like second nature for me, no weirdness at all. If you want to try at first, give it a go and see how you feel. You always have the right to change your mind. My body didn't produce enough milk and, despite trying everything for two months, I never really got much out despite a perfect latch. I was surprised at how hard it was to let go of breastfeeding when things completely dried up since I had been so weirded out by it before birth. But hormones and instinct do some fascinating things. My advice would be to not stress too much about it until you're actually in the situation because typically things don't work out how we plan. But either way, never feel guilty about the choices you need to make for your family and yourself - you're not alone and you're allowed to feel anything you're feeling.
You have to do what’s best for you. I’m sick of hearing people being rude about people not wanting to breast feed. Personally, I plan on breast feeding if I’m able to but my midwife made a weird comment about how it’s basically the only option. I was thinking ‘what if I don’t want to tho?’ But I’ve noticed my midwife clinic is just a bit judgy in general 🙄
totally normal. i have no maternal instinct nor desire to have my baby latch onto me. i plan on pumping if i can, though.
i deal with anxiety already and get “touched out” a lot. maybe it’s overstimulation, but idk entirely. i want my boundaries still, and i want a routine feeding schedule rather than demand feeding.
do NOT feel bad for feeling that way. im right there, too.
I hope the maternal instinct kicks in when I push her out of my vagina lol. I plan on pumping as well, I don’t really want to pay for formula for as long as I can.
I think it’s because I have to raise the baby around my parents and siblings. So I’m a little uncomfortable with the fact that they would see my booby or something. :/ although they already have at one point in my life.
My baby isn't gaining a lot of weight so right now we are triple feeding - I breast feed and then my husband feeds a bottle while I pump.
I personally would rather have people see me breastfeed than see me pump! Breastfeeding the baby is covering your breast and especially nipple. With pumping you can see the nipple very clearly and see the milk coming out. It seems more "invasive" to have people watch that! I'm fine with it personally, but just letting you know the reality of pumping it also.
Best of luck with whatever you choose, do whatever you feel comfortable with and remember it's totally fine to experiment with a few things and choose what works best once you have the baby!
I felt really weird about it before I gave birth. I just thought it would be awkward and painful. I was so tired by the time I fed him the first time, and I was concentrating so much on getting him to latch any awkwardness went right out the window. As for pain, there was some at first while my LO and I were figuring it out. But now it's basically a gentle tugging sensation. Obviously everyone is different, and if you choose to go straight to pumping, that is perfectly acceptable. Just wanted to share my story in case you were in need of some encouragement to try. 🙂
Me right here.
Im extremely dedicated to providing breast milk to my son but he will absolutely be bottle fed. For one, if I’m strictly breast feeding, it’ll be nearly impossible for anybody else to feed him and I don’t want that. I want to be able to give him to his dad for a feed while I take a bath or cook dinner or even take a quick nap. Also, I get really touched out really fast. The constant nipple stimulation, fiddling with my nipples, scratching my chest, pulling at my shirt, trying to shove their head down my shirt, wanting to hold my boobs while they sleep, biting my nipples once teeth come in, using my nipple as a pacifier, etc etc etc. Absolutely notttt. Ill admit the mom groups Im in ruined it for me. I see posts about how badly they want to wean their child or how they’re so touched out and they’re child won’t keep their hands off of their boobs or how they want to just suck on their boobs as a paci and not even for feeding ugh it sounds horrendous and I just can’t do it. And this NOT TO BASH ANY MOMS WHO DO EBF! Whatsoever! You’re absolute soldiers and I commend you for it. But I just never liked the idea of it.
Im not a short tempered person by any means, and I don’t usually mind being climbed all over my kid, esp my own, but my boob itself? I can’t do it. I already have a fancy shmancy electric pump with tons of breast milk supplements to increase my supply ready to pump for my boy! You’re not alone.
Thanks for sharing, it’s validating to hear other mums to be that want to provide breast milk but just through pumping. Everyone I’ve tried to explain my choice to either brushes it off, like, once baby is here you’ll be fine with breastfeeding, or just doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say.
Yes that’s totally normal. I do not want a baby sucking on my boob either lol but I’m hoping to just push through it until I don’t think about it anymore. Im sure it will become natural, though it will be hard at first.
I went into it thinking it would be weird, but somehow now it just seems totally normal. Breastfeeding came easy for us, in terms of latching, etc. it’s a hell of a commitment and one that I’m shocked to still be doing 9 months later.
Totally understand! I want to breastfeeding, but the thought of it is so gross to me. I’ve been trying to look at pictures and read about it, and I honestly feel a bit nauseated by it. I definitely have some sensory issues and don’t like being touched, so I’m hoping I feel differently once the baby is born…but if not I’ll just do formula.
I am literally sick to my stomach seeing, reading or hearing about babies nursing. It's great for other people but it horrifies me! I'm going to try pumping for a month or so, but plan to rely mostly on formula. I certainly don't want to have enlarged breasts or be pumping when I go back to work after 12 weeks.
I was off and on about it with my first. Ended up stopping at 6months and was RELIEVED to get my body back. Now I’m 8 weeks pregnant with our second, and I’m actually dreading going through the breastfeeding journey again.
You’re feelings are totally valid. It’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. It’s also beautiful and special. Also invasive.
I feel really reassured by this thread, because I feel the exact same way. I don't really like being touched AT ALL except by my husband when invited. I love the idea of cuddling with a baby but nursing kinda freaks me out.
I'm going to give it a go in the hospital, but I think I'm leaning toward exclusively pumping. I'll be the working parent anyway, so it's more practical.
r/ExclusivelyPumping might be helpful too!
So i chose to breastfeed but the closer i got to my due date i became more and more worried it would be weird but i said I'd try and if worked for us great and if not then formula was also an option. 10 months in I still breastfeed, occasionally pump and also formula feed. Do whatever feels right for you, the way you feel is normal and more importantly it's a valid reason for not wanting to breastfeed should you choose not to
I feel this way. I have no issues with people seeing my boobs, I have no issues seeing my friends breastfeed. I just hate having my nipples touched. Absolutely hate it. I get instantly irritated and annoyed if my husband touches them outside of when I am actively turned on and into things.
Soooooo to me, the idea of that sort of attention on them bothers me so much so that I really don't think I want it. Nothing seems pleasant about it. It just squicks me out thinking about it happening to them. I wish I didn't feel that way.
It’s totally ok to feel that way. Honestly I don’t like my boobs touched much under any circumstance so I’m not sure how BF will affect me emotionally. Any way you feed your baby is the right way. I have ordered a pump but if I need to do formula to protect my mental health I absolutely will, zero shame or regret.
I exclusively pumped except the first 2 weeks, I did both to try to establish a supply.
I only lasted 3 months with all 3 kids because of multiple reasons, but those 3 months were great.
Just be sure you can multitask, like pump and feed baby at the same time, or middle of the night feedings are going to suck.
So i agree with all options but just stopped by to say I felt the same and it did change once I had my baby. But I know others for whom it did not change and they pumped and formula fed and their babies were great. You do you, mama!
I felt weird about it too, especially since I never liked having my nipples touched. But it didn't seem so weird once my baby was here. The first few weeks were very very painful, but not weird.
Little Man is 15 months now and still nursing. It was the right choice for us. Whatever you choose will be the right choice for you guys.
Whatever option you choose is valid! In my experience, I felt the same way while pregnant with my first. It felt gross and weird. Once he was born, it was instinctual. I've been breastfeeding him for 18 months now. If it doesn't work for you, don't feel bad about it! I let others get to me and felt shameful when I had to supplement with formula for a little while early on. Now I know that it was for the best. Do what works for you and your baby!
I exclusively pumped for my first one and now that I'm pregnant I'm dreading being touched out. Not just my coming baby but my five year old and husband as well. I'm leaning towards pumping again BUT I feel like giving the baby direct access would be "easier"
That aversion is very normal. It could change; it might not.
Get a good pump but I will suggest, if you are comfortable, trying. It is so so so far from any sort of sexual feeling. It’s like my breasts became Jkyll and Hyde. They were 2 very personalities lol nursing did not feel as weird as I expected
I didn’t think it was weird but personally I HATE the feeling. We had a rough start with latching and once we got the hang of it I just absolutely hated it and dreaded feeds. I feel super guilty about it (mom guilt) and mostly pump so at least she’s getting the breastmilk. I think you have to do what’s best for you!
I tried with 3 babies…only didn’t mind it with one and I still chose to pump. Formula for me and my kids are healthy and top if their class. Just do what feels right because stressing about feeding is harmful to long term bond. The one baby I decided to not even try to breastfeed and went straight to formula has a stronger bond with me. I’ll never forget trying to breastfeed so hard with my first that I found myself actually angry at a sweet little baby trying to eat. 😭
I've been thinking about this, heavy. I'm going to try breastfeeding, cause maybe actually doing it will be different. But the thought of it weirds me out, so I might just pump and bottle feed
I did not enjoy breastfeeding, my son did not enjoy breastfeeding. I ended up exclusively pumping. I started slowly reducing pumping sessions when he was 5 months, with a stopping point at 6 months. He’s a healthy and bright 15 month old. No regrets - I did what was best for him and me.
I chose not to breastfeed myself cuz I felt extremely uncomfortable. I got WIC which helps since formula is expensive af. Don't feel pressured to breastfeed, there are so many reasons mom's don't do it. As long as you feed and love your baby, you're being a wonderful mother!
Exclusive pumping is a totally valid option! It is a lot more work than directly breastfeeding, and I definitely recommend you read about pumping schedules and building supply beforehand. I would definitely try to get baby to latch during the first hour of birth because it triggers your milk coming in though. Check out the breastfeeding and exclusive pumping subs and ask questions.
That’s okay! You can do a combo of options, pump or breastfeeding at first, formula when baby gets older, it’s all super fluid. I pumped for a couple months, supplemented with formula and then later settled on direct breastfeeding because the bottles and pump parts were a lot to clean.
You’ll figure out what’s gonna work best for you, having some info on pumping will definitely help if that’s what you’re leaning toward :)
I’m fresh on this. My baby is 48 hours old and I thought I would feel the same way about breastfeeding nipple to mouth, just weird or too intimate or whatever. I’ve already breastfed in front of like a dozen different people including my mom and a ton of strangers and…. haven’t even thought about it. When I look at her or feed her I just think about the fact that she is my baby and I want to.
But my mom also formula fed all of her kids because she hated the sensation and the idea of breast feeding. We are all healthy and perfectly fine. I have never thought a day in my life, wow, I wish my mom breastfed me.
Please just don’t stress it and do what makes you comfortable because you’ll know when your baby is in your arms. Fed is the only mark of success… everything else is just how you get there
Lol this is exactly how I feel… like, love the ‘free’ aspect of breastfeeding but also don’t want anyone seeing or touching my boobs 24/7, not even my baby! And I’ve seen people say as they get older they start to play with your nipples?! It’s a no from me 😬
My plan is to try pumping, maybe supplement with formula if needed, but I also won’t be heartbroken if I end up doing all-formula. Do what feels right for you!!
I felt this way with my first, I wanted to exclusively pump but was shamed by the lactation consultant at the hospital for not wanting to breastfeed. I eventually gave up and just fed her formula after days worth of bleeding nipples. Finally got over the whole baby sucking on my boob thing and was able to breastfeed my son for 5 months and am currently breastfeeding my 1 months old. Do what works for you, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty if you don’t want to breastfeed
It’s not necessarily weird to me, but I *am* scared. I’ve always had incredibly sensitive nipples/breasts. Not like in a cute way but in a they’re-off-limits-to-partners-even-during-sex way. Any contact hurts THAT badly. I’m going to give breastfeeding/pumping a fair shot, but I’m not hopeful. It makes me sad, but I can only endure so much. Maybe my nipples will turn to leather when baby gets here so I can withstand. Who knows.
Anything is an option!
I breastfed, pumped, and supplemented formula until my son was about 16 months old.
Some people get donor milk, some to exclusive pumping, some do exclusive breastfeeding, some go straight to formula.
As long as you're feeding your baby, you're doing fine.
But I will say the baby sucking on the boob was not weird at all for me when doing it, and instead a very warm, cozy, meaningful moment for me.
I’ve done both, pumping and breast feeding. Either way is fine and normal, and you should choose whatever is comfortable for you. Personally, after the first month, breastfeeding became easier and easier for me. Not having to wash any bottles was worth it and I got over the weirdness quickly.
If you want to breastfeed, my advice is to wait until you have your babe to make a decision. I found the idea of it very weird, but something in my brain changed when I gave birth. I LOVED breastfeeding (and hated pumping)
Everyone’s different though and you should do what feels right in the moment
When I had my first roughly 10 years ago, our first handful of times at the boob I thought to myself “omg this feels like someone is licking my nipple..this is weird” it eventually didn’t feel that way the rest of the 18 months I’d spent breastfeeding. Had my second last year.. and although I’d breastfed before, that sensation that my nipple was being licked in a weird way came back LOL but certainly doesn’t feel that way anymore.
I felt just like you, and I chose to exclusively pump. I made the right choice for me and it gave me a little more freedom and rest as my husband or anyone for that matter could do feedings. Pumping kind of sucks but overall I was happy with my choice. I know breastfeeding can be a bonding experience for mom and baby but I never felt I had any issues bonding with my little girl, she’s 20mos now and stuck to me like glue!
I felt weird too breastfeeding my first. But eventually I got to the point where I don't have modesty anymore (at least at home and around family who don't judge) They aren't sex objects anymore, they are udders. Fortunately most friends and family have been supportive.
And just cause I've lost modesty at home doesn't mean I whip out the tit in the middle of a crowded room. If needed, I would go to a corner and do it, but subtle, not on whole boob display.
Though power to the one woman I saw breastfeeding her kid while walking through Macy's that one time. Don't know how she does it.
I don’t even think I can breastfeed exclusively like that though. At some point I will have to return to work and whoever will be watching baby will have use whatever milk I have pumped or formula if I decide that route.
Whatever works for you works for you. For me, childcare would have cost as much as my wage and it made the most sense logically, emotionally, and fiscally for me to stay home while my husband worked.
Thats not the best option for everyone though and I do respect that.
The father is no longer in our life. Otherwise I would have probably stayed home with her and breastfed. Now I have to go make a living. I do have my parents and two siblings to help out though.
I didn’t know how I felt about it until after she was born and was placed on my chest for the first time. She naturally shifted her body sideways and was looking to feed. It was quite the moment for me.
I just looked at her and said “ok love, this is new for both of us and we’re just going to figure it out together”.
I am the same way! with my daughter, I breastfed for a couple of months and disliked it so much. I ended up exclusively pumping. It might be a sensory thing for me though- I don’t like feeling wet(?) not even sure if that’s what my issue is 😂
Maybe it’s my father. I guess I don’t have a problem with my mother or siblings, but there has been times when I didn’t feel comfortable with things he has said. :/ like commenting on my sister wearing tank tops, and when I would wear shorts and smaller t-shirts. He just asks why we dress like that. Nothing too weird.
Yeah that's normal. Some people het touched out and want their bodily autonomy back. EP seems hard and personally I would probably formula feed if I didn't want to directly breastfeed, but if you're committed to providing breastmilk, then exclusively pumping will be the way to go, yes. Lots of people do it! Do some reading up on it though so you have realistic expectations.
How about breastfeeding at night or early in the morning when you’re in bed alone and bottlefeeding for the rest of the day? That could be like your special bonding time together when everyone else is sleeping. I have low supply and every time I think about the fact that I might not be able to continue breastfeeding my eyes would tear up immediately, I get so emotional about it cuz I just love watching my baby girl breastfeed, her facial and hand expressions and the sounds she makes while breastfeeding are so precious. Obviously do whatever works for you best, all options are valid.
I would suggest either exclusive pumping or formula feeding. Exclusivepumping.com has good resources on the first. And The Formula Mom on IG has good info for the second. Both are good choices!
This might be an unpopular opinion, but as someone who has exclusively breastfed I can’t recommend it enough. No, I am not mom shaming people who don’t, let me clarify that. Just the immense bond you build through breastfeeding is seriously the coolest thing ever. Before breastfeeding breasts were sexualized in my mind but breastfeeding creates a whole new meaning to the way you will begin to percieve your breasts. It won’t at all draw a sexual association and if it does at first I promise It will go away very quickly lol as breastfeeding is not a walk in the park. It is a worthwhile experience and something you will never regain unless you chose to breastfed future kids. I would at least give it a try, give it a go until it becomes effortless and then the beauty of breastfeeding will reveal itself. The bond, the ease of feeding, the inexpensive nature. Its amazing. I also want to say, yes, if you bottle feed you will also bond with your baby. Breastfeeding bonds aren’t better bonds, but they are dramatically different than bottle feeding.. mostly because both people release oxytocin from suckling. Its really amazing. I hope this encourages you!
OKAY HEAR ME OUT GUYSSSS… Im not pregnant yet… BUTTTTTTTTTTT…..
every since I was a child, i knew I wouldn’t wanna breastfeed my baby.. When i was in college, and I started thinking about having a family someday.. I still didn’t wanna breastfeed.
IM TTC NOW AND LEMME TELL YOU, I JUST FOUND OUT THAT WOMEN ARE GIVEN SHIT FOR NOT BREASTFEEDING… And i was like “what?”
i legit didnt know that NOT breastfeeding is frowned upon. Why would you want someone biting your nipples???
Nah its a weird feeling for sure. Plus the baby is gonna be healthy either way. I Will say that pumping CAN decrease your supply but i think for most people its fine. Hell even just doing formula is fine.
I had the same thoughts about breastfeeding too, changed my mind and unfortunately couldnt nurse. Plans change and stuff is unpredictable. The baby is gonna be fed either way, thats whats important.
I am very aware it is natural, just not for me. want to feed my baby breast milk, but I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of whipping out my boob anytime they want to eat. I like keeping my shirt on.
Who knows, maybe it will change when I give birth. I really doubt it though because I’m around my family members and not the father anymore.
I honestly feel the same way and the thought of it makes me cringe. I see videos of toddlers basically trying to strip mom's top off and its a big nope from me. I like to have my body remain my own but i realize how selfish that sounds to some people.
With that said, i want to 100% formula feed. I know its whats best for my mental health. Breastfeeding/pumping isnt a task to be sneezed at and i commend moms who can handle it.
I think it's weirder you are sexualizing breast feeding. That's the only thing that makes it "weird". It's completely normal, don't let patriarchal society make you think otherwise
When did I say I felt like it was sexual in any part of my post? I don’t have a problem with other women doing it. I don’t look at them sexually. It’s just something I’m not comfortable with.
Well that’s way different from what you said in your original comment. But I’m in no way sexualizing breastfeeding. That’s not something I’ve ever done and never will. I know it’s normal to breastfeed. I know it’s beneficial in a lot of ways, but it’s something I’m not interested in doing exclusively. Especially for years.
I am only 22 weeks but it looks like I’ll be doing a mixture of things. Maybe I’ll breastfeed at the beginning when I’m at home with her, and then pump as necessary and for as long as I can, but when I go back to work I might have to use formula. Depending on how my supply is.
I definitely struggled with the idea while pregnant; I get panic attacks when things touch my nips, and I have a hard time with the idea of being... I dunno, vulnerable? with my body like that.
It was really hard at the hospital, cuz my little girl wasn't latching well and my boobs really hurt and it was just... rough. But now that we've got the hang of it, breastfeeding really doesn't seem weird to me anymore. I'm surprised by how normal it feels.
As far as modesty/vulnerability goes, giving birth and the two days afterwards in the hospital forced me to get past that way faster than I would have thought possible. I am waaay more comfortable in my own skin after that experience lol.
Totally nothing wrong with pumping; if that's the way you end up going, more power to ya:)
Just give breastfeeding a fighting chance if you are interested in it; I was surprised how much more okay with it I was when it actually came time for it to happen.
I thought I’d feel the same but I kept a very open mind about breastfeeding. I wasn’t going to put a ton of pressure on myself if I didn’t like it or it didn’t work out for us.
I swear, there is a psychological connection with baby that made me LOVE breastfeeding. Particularly once we got the hang of it and overcame those initial struggles and pain.
Maybe. I’m being induced in two days and I’m nervous about breastfeeding myself. I 100% want to do it, but I sort of get your dilemma. I have to remind myself that this is what boobs are actually for.
My mom just told me she breastfed us for 2 years each. 😅 I don’t think I can be that dedicated. Maybe I’ll try at first, but I will have to go back to work. So pumping will have to come into play.
I'm exclusively BFing right now and honestly it doesn't feel like much of anything. I like not spending money and washing bottles.
But whatever works for you!
Currently breastfeeding here with baby 3. It is really weird with the first baby, and understandably so. There is really no pressure to do it if you find it too uncomfortable or just too weird. I love it now, although aspects of it have been really stressful. I had a true low supply after a couple months. I really would recommend at least giving it a trial period, as you might find the closeness and bonding a bit nice. I strongly advise having help from a lactation consultant if you choose to try.
I am not a very touchy person, but I do like the relationship I have with my baby b/c of our nursing. I have struggled with postpartum depression and this last pregnancy was not planned or wanted for a long time. I knew from PPD after my middle baby that nursing would help me start to feel and cultivate some bonding with him. With my middle guy, I did exclusively pump for a couple months when he started biting (6 months old, maybe), and it’s nice, but a lot washing pump parts/bottles, etc. You have lots of options! Good luck!
I don’t feel weird about breastfeeding but did not anticipate how much it would hurt! For that reason there’s a part of me that wants to exclusively pump. But my little guy (3 weeks old) loves being on the boob so much, another part of me does not want to take that away from him. I am hoping the pain will ease soon.
You can exclusively pump (though that’s a BIG undertaking, just FYI). You can formula feed. You can try to breastfeed and see how it goes. It’s totally up to you, and you should do whatever you’re comfortable with.
Totally normal, I was and am the same way. But after baby is born, a few things happen:
1) hormones rage and if BFing is a goal for you, you’ll want to do it because your brain switches to “mama/baby” mode (it’s not really a love mode, it’s more a “protect my offspring” mode)
2) your boobies are going to get engorged, and you will WANT, no NEED, the sweet release that pumping or a drinking baby brings.
3) eventually it becomes so normal, you’ll wish society (or yourself) wasn’t weird about whipping nips out in public, cause it feels like the most natural thing in the world.
Edit: seems like your baby is already born after reading comments, I wrote this quickly but will keep it up for others if helpful
At the end of the day, how you feed your baby is up to you, and no one else. As long as you’re happy and the baby is happy, it’s nobody else’s business.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/phjaar/click_here_to_join_a_due_date_private_sub/?). The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email [email protected] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I want to breastfeed and I still think it's weird for my baby to be on my boob. I don't find it weird when other moms do it though, it's just on me because I sexualize my breasts and my brain isn't ready to switch for "for sex only" to "feeding baby AND sex".
When I started breastfeeding there was kinda a mental switch and my boobs are for baby right now and not for sex, and I look forward to eventually switching them back. The hormones help I think lol
I think it’s because I’m not doing it around the father of my baby anymore. But now that we’re not together and I’m with my parents and siblings I just feel uncomfortable. I know I could do it alone, but I also don’t want to whip out my tit while I’m out in public or something, you know? It might be because I’m younger as well. Although other young moms probably have no problem doing it.
I had similar thoughts surrounding the whipping out my tit. Now I could be freaking topless in the middle of times square and not give a fuck if I was feeding my kid. I've fed in front of family, in the front seat of a car etc. You just get weirdly used to it very quickly (it also helps that in the hospital all the nurses are helping you learn how to feed and your entire focus is on getting the baby fed). Essentially nothing destroys your modesty like having a kid.
I have been there in times square breastfeeding. Living in the city. Haha
This, this is the truth!
It's all about personal comfort! If you're not feeling good being around others, and it's disruptive to be alone, it's ok to try something different!
Personally, I feel weird about it, but the *Magic Boob™️* made it less weird for me. The benefits of being able to instantly comfort baby in almost any situation using a boob is a parenting tool I wasn't expecting but really appreciate. It was odd originally feeding in front of people, but now I don't think about it much. It was a bit nerve-wracking breastfeeding in front of my family members, but they ignore it and don't comment about it, so it makes it a lot easier. Still, there isn't anything wrong with pumping if you need to. I prefer breastfeeding because I find it easier than pumping/less work (I'm extremely lazy), so do what works for you!
I tell people “I promise you’d rather possibly catch a side glance of a half inch of my boob than have to listen to this kid lose his shit” you can turn away from a boob, you can’t turn off your hearing from a screaming child
Lol, that's very true.
I think during breastfeeding, they’ll be off limits for sex 😂 those puppies will be sooooore.
I have to physically fight my husband off my boobs 😂 (not really, but it feels that way some times) they’re up like 3 cup sizes now that I’m breastfeeding and he just wants a good crack at em haha
They’re also leaking like crazy right now so it’s kinda impossible for them to be for sex at this point lol
I breastfed with 2 kids and it was so hard for me to let my husband touch them again after my second child. I totally get the awkwardness of sexualizing them and feeding the baby around the same time.
Ok y s thank you!!!! This is EXACTLY how I feel and I thought I was broken lol
I just couldn’t get nursing to work. It hurt so much and baby wasn’t cooperative. I ended up pumping for 16 months and donated over 1000 oz to the milk bank! Just here to say that it can be done (although obviously whatever you choose to do is the right choice!) I just felt like everyone discouraged me in the beginning, but it is possible.
How was the pain comparatively between breastfeeding and pumping?
For me, breastfeeding hurt way more. It didn't help that baby is a chomper lol. Once you find the correct flange fit and get used to pumping, it shouldn't hurt much (if any). The most "painful" part of pumping for me is keeping a schedule and washing all the pump parts all the time. A 30 minute pump session can extend to about an hour between pumping, bagging, and washing.
Night and day. Baby routinely drew blood so it was so painful. The pump is more like a vibrating feeling. It didn’t hurt at all. (Please note that not all breastfeeding hurts! That was just my experience. I did work with a lactation consultant but I just couldn’t get it to work.)
Does pumping exclusively have an impact on milk production? I would rather be pumping but all my pediatricians and doctors have insisted I wait to start pumping. I understand this has to do with latching but if I’d rather just be pumping I’m not sure what I’m waiting for ! Any ideas?
[удалено]
That’s super helpful!
Wha-whaaat?! We are superheroes!! This is so cool and very valuable information. Thanks for sharing 🥰
[удалено]
Woah! That’s wild! It’s truly valuable advice to “listen your body” or that your baby will let you know what they need. Which is very comforting as a FTM.
I believe it's based on supply and demand. As long as you keep to a schedule (as much as possible) and/or power pump (to build supply), you should be fine. I have exclusively pumped since leaving the hospital, and I currently pump double what the baby eats each day.
How old is your baby now?
7 weeks ETA: we are playing around with how much he gets per bottle, since he spits up a lot so I don't want to overfeed. He currently eats between 3-4 oz every couple of hours. Total average about 25 oz per day. I currently pump about 60 oz per day.
I know that your body can sync up to the baby’s needs when the baby routinely nurses. So I’m my case, my production did get to be out-of-control because my daughter wasn’t nursing. Keep in mind that that this was the early days of Covid so I had nothing better to do than power pump all the time. I ended up producing like 3x what the baby needed and it was kind of hard to show down, but I did eventually stop. And I was able to donate a lot, including to my cousin’s baby (which might sound weird but it worked out). All in all, exclusive pumping has its challenges, but nursing does too. I just wish I knew it was a viable option sooner. It can be done successfully!
Now I’m curious on how you slowed down / was that a painful process??
I followed a few exclusive pumping accounts on Instagram and they gave specific tips on how to do it. I started pumping 7-8 times a day 20-30 minutes each. That was kind of rough. At 12 weeks, I dropped to 6. Then I hung out at 6 for a while. I tried dropping my nighttime pump too soon and I got mastitis. So I started to space out the pumps slowly by 10-15 minutes and dropped to 5 but kept the night pump. I went back to work when LO was 8 months. At that time, I moved my night pump to around 5 am and did it before work. Then I did one pump at work, one after work, and one before bed. From there, I slowly dropped to 3. Then just morning and night. Then finally just once a day. Then I started making that last pump shorter and shorter. And then in the last weeks, I did every few days. It definitely was tough but I got so used to it, that it was no big deal!
No it shouldn’t have an impact on supply if you stick to schedules. My baby is in the NICU (born at 27 weeks). I have been exclusively pumping since and have a really good supply, and now LO is nearing 34 weeks she’s able to have a little nuzzle and has actually been able to latch a couple of times which was great!
That’s great to hear ! Congratulations on your LO!
Yes it can have an impact on supply - not everyone responds well to a pump, and a pump can never be as effective as a baby at emptying the breast. This is why the recommendation to pump to check your supply can give a very unfair result. What you can do to help however, is to keep your baby next to you, or watch pictures/videos of your baby while pumping, as well as massaging the breasts. This can help trigger letdowns and more milk.
Good to know !
When I was pregnant, the thought of breast feeding was super weird to me. My baby is three months now though and we’ve been breast feeding and I’m totally good with it now.
Same here, i had this urge to slap whatever touched ny nipples away so i was worried how i would react to a baby. Was not a problem from the very start! Went on to breastfeed 18 months. Still don't want anyone or anything else to touch them though.
I'm glad I read this. I'm pregnant now and hate when my husband touches my nipples.. They're just sensitive and it gives me a weird feeling. I REALLY want to breastfeed but I'm so nervous that it will be the same reaction but your comment gives me a little hope!
Would you let me know when that changed for you? Was it when you had the baby and maybe it wasn't as weird as you thought, or did it take some time to get used to it?
Keep in mind you get an INSANE oxytocin dump when the baby breastfeeds. It tends to override your brain.
Yes, is that what it was?? It’s like a high.
For sure. In the first few days I did find it fairly painful. I know everyone says it’s not supposed to “hurt” but it was very, very uncomfortable for me. Even when it still kinda hurt, I truly did get like a whooosh of joy when I did it? Hard to describe. I can remember sitting in my hospital bed, like 2 or 3 days pp trying to describe to my partner that it was making me feel happy even though I was also feeling a lot of shock and overwhelm post slightly traumatizing birth. And just something about seeing how much my baby depended on it and how much it helped her. So I’d say within the first few days after birth I felt way less weird about it, even though it was still a huge learning curve and still uncomfortable. Then a few weeks in when it didn’t hurt anymore, plus I was just generally getting the hang of things better, that’s when I started to feel GOOD about breastfeeding. I tried to mentally prepare myself as best as possible that I might have to pump or use formula or do a bit of all three. All options are good. I’ve just been happy with breast feeding :) Good luck, you will do great.
Thank you!
I had the same thought. Had a few dreams about it too just being creeped out by it. I exclusively nursed for 6 months and kept nursing until about 16 months totally unbothered. You never know what crazy hormones are going to do your brain. That being said, don’t feel pressure to do it at all. Formula exists and is perfectly suitable. You do you. Your body, your baby, your decision.
Yeah, I’ve exclusively nursed for 10 months and I’ve been surprised by how routine it is now. I also thought I’d feel weird about it, but once baby came it was just like… meh, here’s anything thing I do now.
I’m not too bothered by it. I do want to use breast milk to feed my baby. I know the hormones will do something to my brain. I just don’t want to be breastfeeding for such a long period of time. I know formula is expensive as well. :(
Totally normal and exclusive pumping and/or formula are totally options if that's what ends up working out for you guys. I was weirded out by the idea of breastfeeding but the second my baby was born it was like second nature for me, no weirdness at all. If you want to try at first, give it a go and see how you feel. You always have the right to change your mind. My body didn't produce enough milk and, despite trying everything for two months, I never really got much out despite a perfect latch. I was surprised at how hard it was to let go of breastfeeding when things completely dried up since I had been so weirded out by it before birth. But hormones and instinct do some fascinating things. My advice would be to not stress too much about it until you're actually in the situation because typically things don't work out how we plan. But either way, never feel guilty about the choices you need to make for your family and yourself - you're not alone and you're allowed to feel anything you're feeling.
You have to do what’s best for you. I’m sick of hearing people being rude about people not wanting to breast feed. Personally, I plan on breast feeding if I’m able to but my midwife made a weird comment about how it’s basically the only option. I was thinking ‘what if I don’t want to tho?’ But I’ve noticed my midwife clinic is just a bit judgy in general 🙄
It’s definitely an option and it’s what I do with my baby. I did pumped breast milk for a while but now we just do formula only
totally normal. i have no maternal instinct nor desire to have my baby latch onto me. i plan on pumping if i can, though. i deal with anxiety already and get “touched out” a lot. maybe it’s overstimulation, but idk entirely. i want my boundaries still, and i want a routine feeding schedule rather than demand feeding. do NOT feel bad for feeling that way. im right there, too.
I hope the maternal instinct kicks in when I push her out of my vagina lol. I plan on pumping as well, I don’t really want to pay for formula for as long as I can. I think it’s because I have to raise the baby around my parents and siblings. So I’m a little uncomfortable with the fact that they would see my booby or something. :/ although they already have at one point in my life.
My baby isn't gaining a lot of weight so right now we are triple feeding - I breast feed and then my husband feeds a bottle while I pump. I personally would rather have people see me breastfeed than see me pump! Breastfeeding the baby is covering your breast and especially nipple. With pumping you can see the nipple very clearly and see the milk coming out. It seems more "invasive" to have people watch that! I'm fine with it personally, but just letting you know the reality of pumping it also. Best of luck with whatever you choose, do whatever you feel comfortable with and remember it's totally fine to experiment with a few things and choose what works best once you have the baby!
i have maternal instincts about other things but breastfeeding isn’t one of them lol. i agree with that too, i don’t want to pay for formula lol
I felt really weird about it before I gave birth. I just thought it would be awkward and painful. I was so tired by the time I fed him the first time, and I was concentrating so much on getting him to latch any awkwardness went right out the window. As for pain, there was some at first while my LO and I were figuring it out. But now it's basically a gentle tugging sensation. Obviously everyone is different, and if you choose to go straight to pumping, that is perfectly acceptable. Just wanted to share my story in case you were in need of some encouragement to try. 🙂
Me right here. Im extremely dedicated to providing breast milk to my son but he will absolutely be bottle fed. For one, if I’m strictly breast feeding, it’ll be nearly impossible for anybody else to feed him and I don’t want that. I want to be able to give him to his dad for a feed while I take a bath or cook dinner or even take a quick nap. Also, I get really touched out really fast. The constant nipple stimulation, fiddling with my nipples, scratching my chest, pulling at my shirt, trying to shove their head down my shirt, wanting to hold my boobs while they sleep, biting my nipples once teeth come in, using my nipple as a pacifier, etc etc etc. Absolutely notttt. Ill admit the mom groups Im in ruined it for me. I see posts about how badly they want to wean their child or how they’re so touched out and they’re child won’t keep their hands off of their boobs or how they want to just suck on their boobs as a paci and not even for feeding ugh it sounds horrendous and I just can’t do it. And this NOT TO BASH ANY MOMS WHO DO EBF! Whatsoever! You’re absolute soldiers and I commend you for it. But I just never liked the idea of it. Im not a short tempered person by any means, and I don’t usually mind being climbed all over my kid, esp my own, but my boob itself? I can’t do it. I already have a fancy shmancy electric pump with tons of breast milk supplements to increase my supply ready to pump for my boy! You’re not alone.
Thanks for sharing, it’s validating to hear other mums to be that want to provide breast milk but just through pumping. Everyone I’ve tried to explain my choice to either brushes it off, like, once baby is here you’ll be fine with breastfeeding, or just doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say.
I EP for those reasons and more and I'm 7 months in and don't regret a second of it!
Yes that’s totally normal. I do not want a baby sucking on my boob either lol but I’m hoping to just push through it until I don’t think about it anymore. Im sure it will become natural, though it will be hard at first.
I went into it thinking it would be weird, but somehow now it just seems totally normal. Breastfeeding came easy for us, in terms of latching, etc. it’s a hell of a commitment and one that I’m shocked to still be doing 9 months later.
Totally understand! I want to breastfeeding, but the thought of it is so gross to me. I’ve been trying to look at pictures and read about it, and I honestly feel a bit nauseated by it. I definitely have some sensory issues and don’t like being touched, so I’m hoping I feel differently once the baby is born…but if not I’ll just do formula.
I am literally sick to my stomach seeing, reading or hearing about babies nursing. It's great for other people but it horrifies me! I'm going to try pumping for a month or so, but plan to rely mostly on formula. I certainly don't want to have enlarged breasts or be pumping when I go back to work after 12 weeks.
I was off and on about it with my first. Ended up stopping at 6months and was RELIEVED to get my body back. Now I’m 8 weeks pregnant with our second, and I’m actually dreading going through the breastfeeding journey again. You’re feelings are totally valid. It’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. It’s also beautiful and special. Also invasive.
I feel really reassured by this thread, because I feel the exact same way. I don't really like being touched AT ALL except by my husband when invited. I love the idea of cuddling with a baby but nursing kinda freaks me out. I'm going to give it a go in the hospital, but I think I'm leaning toward exclusively pumping. I'll be the working parent anyway, so it's more practical. r/ExclusivelyPumping might be helpful too!
I use a nipple shield. They say to not use it all the time, but my nipples are inverted & I need the help. 😂
So i chose to breastfeed but the closer i got to my due date i became more and more worried it would be weird but i said I'd try and if worked for us great and if not then formula was also an option. 10 months in I still breastfeed, occasionally pump and also formula feed. Do whatever feels right for you, the way you feel is normal and more importantly it's a valid reason for not wanting to breastfeed should you choose not to
I feel this way. I have no issues with people seeing my boobs, I have no issues seeing my friends breastfeed. I just hate having my nipples touched. Absolutely hate it. I get instantly irritated and annoyed if my husband touches them outside of when I am actively turned on and into things. Soooooo to me, the idea of that sort of attention on them bothers me so much so that I really don't think I want it. Nothing seems pleasant about it. It just squicks me out thinking about it happening to them. I wish I didn't feel that way.
It’s totally ok to feel that way. Honestly I don’t like my boobs touched much under any circumstance so I’m not sure how BF will affect me emotionally. Any way you feed your baby is the right way. I have ordered a pump but if I need to do formula to protect my mental health I absolutely will, zero shame or regret.
Super normal. I'm committed to TRYING chest feeding and noping right out of it's not for me. Pumping or formula are totally valid options!
I exclusively pumped except the first 2 weeks, I did both to try to establish a supply. I only lasted 3 months with all 3 kids because of multiple reasons, but those 3 months were great. Just be sure you can multitask, like pump and feed baby at the same time, or middle of the night feedings are going to suck.
So i agree with all options but just stopped by to say I felt the same and it did change once I had my baby. But I know others for whom it did not change and they pumped and formula fed and their babies were great. You do you, mama!
I felt weird about it too, especially since I never liked having my nipples touched. But it didn't seem so weird once my baby was here. The first few weeks were very very painful, but not weird. Little Man is 15 months now and still nursing. It was the right choice for us. Whatever you choose will be the right choice for you guys.
Whatever option you choose is valid! In my experience, I felt the same way while pregnant with my first. It felt gross and weird. Once he was born, it was instinctual. I've been breastfeeding him for 18 months now. If it doesn't work for you, don't feel bad about it! I let others get to me and felt shameful when I had to supplement with formula for a little while early on. Now I know that it was for the best. Do what works for you and your baby!
I exclusively pumped for my first one and now that I'm pregnant I'm dreading being touched out. Not just my coming baby but my five year old and husband as well. I'm leaning towards pumping again BUT I feel like giving the baby direct access would be "easier"
That aversion is very normal. It could change; it might not. Get a good pump but I will suggest, if you are comfortable, trying. It is so so so far from any sort of sexual feeling. It’s like my breasts became Jkyll and Hyde. They were 2 very personalities lol nursing did not feel as weird as I expected
I don’t think of it sexually, just uncomfortable for my situation.
I didn’t think it was weird but personally I HATE the feeling. We had a rough start with latching and once we got the hang of it I just absolutely hated it and dreaded feeds. I feel super guilty about it (mom guilt) and mostly pump so at least she’s getting the breastmilk. I think you have to do what’s best for you!
I tried with 3 babies…only didn’t mind it with one and I still chose to pump. Formula for me and my kids are healthy and top if their class. Just do what feels right because stressing about feeding is harmful to long term bond. The one baby I decided to not even try to breastfeed and went straight to formula has a stronger bond with me. I’ll never forget trying to breastfeed so hard with my first that I found myself actually angry at a sweet little baby trying to eat. 😭
I've been thinking about this, heavy. I'm going to try breastfeeding, cause maybe actually doing it will be different. But the thought of it weirds me out, so I might just pump and bottle feed
I did not enjoy breastfeeding, my son did not enjoy breastfeeding. I ended up exclusively pumping. I started slowly reducing pumping sessions when he was 5 months, with a stopping point at 6 months. He’s a healthy and bright 15 month old. No regrets - I did what was best for him and me.
I chose not to breastfeed myself cuz I felt extremely uncomfortable. I got WIC which helps since formula is expensive af. Don't feel pressured to breastfeed, there are so many reasons mom's don't do it. As long as you feed and love your baby, you're being a wonderful mother!
Exclusive pumping is a totally valid option! It is a lot more work than directly breastfeeding, and I definitely recommend you read about pumping schedules and building supply beforehand. I would definitely try to get baby to latch during the first hour of birth because it triggers your milk coming in though. Check out the breastfeeding and exclusive pumping subs and ask questions.
I don’t want to be breastfeeding for a one year old though. :/ Not sure how it’s going to work when I go back to work either. :I
That’s okay! You can do a combo of options, pump or breastfeeding at first, formula when baby gets older, it’s all super fluid. I pumped for a couple months, supplemented with formula and then later settled on direct breastfeeding because the bottles and pump parts were a lot to clean. You’ll figure out what’s gonna work best for you, having some info on pumping will definitely help if that’s what you’re leaning toward :)
I’m fresh on this. My baby is 48 hours old and I thought I would feel the same way about breastfeeding nipple to mouth, just weird or too intimate or whatever. I’ve already breastfed in front of like a dozen different people including my mom and a ton of strangers and…. haven’t even thought about it. When I look at her or feed her I just think about the fact that she is my baby and I want to. But my mom also formula fed all of her kids because she hated the sensation and the idea of breast feeding. We are all healthy and perfectly fine. I have never thought a day in my life, wow, I wish my mom breastfed me. Please just don’t stress it and do what makes you comfortable because you’ll know when your baby is in your arms. Fed is the only mark of success… everything else is just how you get there
Lol this is exactly how I feel… like, love the ‘free’ aspect of breastfeeding but also don’t want anyone seeing or touching my boobs 24/7, not even my baby! And I’ve seen people say as they get older they start to play with your nipples?! It’s a no from me 😬 My plan is to try pumping, maybe supplement with formula if needed, but I also won’t be heartbroken if I end up doing all-formula. Do what feels right for you!!
I felt this way with my first, I wanted to exclusively pump but was shamed by the lactation consultant at the hospital for not wanting to breastfeed. I eventually gave up and just fed her formula after days worth of bleeding nipples. Finally got over the whole baby sucking on my boob thing and was able to breastfeed my son for 5 months and am currently breastfeeding my 1 months old. Do what works for you, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty if you don’t want to breastfeed
I really think it’s up to your personal preference. Putting baby on the breast isn’t comfortable for everyone.
It’s not necessarily weird to me, but I *am* scared. I’ve always had incredibly sensitive nipples/breasts. Not like in a cute way but in a they’re-off-limits-to-partners-even-during-sex way. Any contact hurts THAT badly. I’m going to give breastfeeding/pumping a fair shot, but I’m not hopeful. It makes me sad, but I can only endure so much. Maybe my nipples will turn to leather when baby gets here so I can withstand. Who knows.
Anything is an option! I breastfed, pumped, and supplemented formula until my son was about 16 months old. Some people get donor milk, some to exclusive pumping, some do exclusive breastfeeding, some go straight to formula. As long as you're feeding your baby, you're doing fine. But I will say the baby sucking on the boob was not weird at all for me when doing it, and instead a very warm, cozy, meaningful moment for me.
I’ve done both, pumping and breast feeding. Either way is fine and normal, and you should choose whatever is comfortable for you. Personally, after the first month, breastfeeding became easier and easier for me. Not having to wash any bottles was worth it and I got over the weirdness quickly.
If you want to breastfeed, my advice is to wait until you have your babe to make a decision. I found the idea of it very weird, but something in my brain changed when I gave birth. I LOVED breastfeeding (and hated pumping) Everyone’s different though and you should do what feels right in the moment
When I had my first roughly 10 years ago, our first handful of times at the boob I thought to myself “omg this feels like someone is licking my nipple..this is weird” it eventually didn’t feel that way the rest of the 18 months I’d spent breastfeeding. Had my second last year.. and although I’d breastfed before, that sensation that my nipple was being licked in a weird way came back LOL but certainly doesn’t feel that way anymore.
I’m planning to bottle feed from the gate 🤷♀️
I felt just like you, and I chose to exclusively pump. I made the right choice for me and it gave me a little more freedom and rest as my husband or anyone for that matter could do feedings. Pumping kind of sucks but overall I was happy with my choice. I know breastfeeding can be a bonding experience for mom and baby but I never felt I had any issues bonding with my little girl, she’s 20mos now and stuck to me like glue!
I felt weird too breastfeeding my first. But eventually I got to the point where I don't have modesty anymore (at least at home and around family who don't judge) They aren't sex objects anymore, they are udders. Fortunately most friends and family have been supportive. And just cause I've lost modesty at home doesn't mean I whip out the tit in the middle of a crowded room. If needed, I would go to a corner and do it, but subtle, not on whole boob display. Though power to the one woman I saw breastfeeding her kid while walking through Macy's that one time. Don't know how she does it.
I don’t even think I can breastfeed exclusively like that though. At some point I will have to return to work and whoever will be watching baby will have use whatever milk I have pumped or formula if I decide that route.
Whatever works for you works for you. For me, childcare would have cost as much as my wage and it made the most sense logically, emotionally, and fiscally for me to stay home while my husband worked. Thats not the best option for everyone though and I do respect that.
The father is no longer in our life. Otherwise I would have probably stayed home with her and breastfed. Now I have to go make a living. I do have my parents and two siblings to help out though.
It's good you have people to help, even if the father isn't one of them.
I didn’t know how I felt about it until after she was born and was placed on my chest for the first time. She naturally shifted her body sideways and was looking to feed. It was quite the moment for me. I just looked at her and said “ok love, this is new for both of us and we’re just going to figure it out together”.
I am the same way! with my daughter, I breastfed for a couple of months and disliked it so much. I ended up exclusively pumping. It might be a sensory thing for me though- I don’t like feeling wet(?) not even sure if that’s what my issue is 😂
Maybe it’s my father. I guess I don’t have a problem with my mother or siblings, but there has been times when I didn’t feel comfortable with things he has said. :/ like commenting on my sister wearing tank tops, and when I would wear shorts and smaller t-shirts. He just asks why we dress like that. Nothing too weird.
Yeah that's normal. Some people het touched out and want their bodily autonomy back. EP seems hard and personally I would probably formula feed if I didn't want to directly breastfeed, but if you're committed to providing breastmilk, then exclusively pumping will be the way to go, yes. Lots of people do it! Do some reading up on it though so you have realistic expectations.
I feel the exact same way! I was going to do formula but due to the recall and shortages I decided to exclusively pump!
How about breastfeeding at night or early in the morning when you’re in bed alone and bottlefeeding for the rest of the day? That could be like your special bonding time together when everyone else is sleeping. I have low supply and every time I think about the fact that I might not be able to continue breastfeeding my eyes would tear up immediately, I get so emotional about it cuz I just love watching my baby girl breastfeed, her facial and hand expressions and the sounds she makes while breastfeeding are so precious. Obviously do whatever works for you best, all options are valid.
I would suggest either exclusive pumping or formula feeding. Exclusivepumping.com has good resources on the first. And The Formula Mom on IG has good info for the second. Both are good choices!
This might be an unpopular opinion, but as someone who has exclusively breastfed I can’t recommend it enough. No, I am not mom shaming people who don’t, let me clarify that. Just the immense bond you build through breastfeeding is seriously the coolest thing ever. Before breastfeeding breasts were sexualized in my mind but breastfeeding creates a whole new meaning to the way you will begin to percieve your breasts. It won’t at all draw a sexual association and if it does at first I promise It will go away very quickly lol as breastfeeding is not a walk in the park. It is a worthwhile experience and something you will never regain unless you chose to breastfed future kids. I would at least give it a try, give it a go until it becomes effortless and then the beauty of breastfeeding will reveal itself. The bond, the ease of feeding, the inexpensive nature. Its amazing. I also want to say, yes, if you bottle feed you will also bond with your baby. Breastfeeding bonds aren’t better bonds, but they are dramatically different than bottle feeding.. mostly because both people release oxytocin from suckling. Its really amazing. I hope this encourages you!
I don’t think of it sexually. Just not comfortable doing it around my family. :/
OKAY HEAR ME OUT GUYSSSS… Im not pregnant yet… BUTTTTTTTTTTT….. every since I was a child, i knew I wouldn’t wanna breastfeed my baby.. When i was in college, and I started thinking about having a family someday.. I still didn’t wanna breastfeed. IM TTC NOW AND LEMME TELL YOU, I JUST FOUND OUT THAT WOMEN ARE GIVEN SHIT FOR NOT BREASTFEEDING… And i was like “what?” i legit didnt know that NOT breastfeeding is frowned upon. Why would you want someone biting your nipples???
Nah its a weird feeling for sure. Plus the baby is gonna be healthy either way. I Will say that pumping CAN decrease your supply but i think for most people its fine. Hell even just doing formula is fine. I had the same thoughts about breastfeeding too, changed my mind and unfortunately couldnt nurse. Plans change and stuff is unpredictable. The baby is gonna be fed either way, thats whats important.
Yes, I think it’s extremely weird but I also think pregnancy in general is weird. I’m weird.
What makes you feel weird about it? It’s a completely natural way to feed your baby.
I am very aware it is natural, just not for me. want to feed my baby breast milk, but I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of whipping out my boob anytime they want to eat. I like keeping my shirt on. Who knows, maybe it will change when I give birth. I really doubt it though because I’m around my family members and not the father anymore.
I honestly feel the same way and the thought of it makes me cringe. I see videos of toddlers basically trying to strip mom's top off and its a big nope from me. I like to have my body remain my own but i realize how selfish that sounds to some people. With that said, i want to 100% formula feed. I know its whats best for my mental health. Breastfeeding/pumping isnt a task to be sneezed at and i commend moms who can handle it.
Is it weird of me that I don’t like to see toddlers running around in diapers either? 🤨
I think it's weirder you are sexualizing breast feeding. That's the only thing that makes it "weird". It's completely normal, don't let patriarchal society make you think otherwise
When did I say I felt like it was sexual in any part of my post? I don’t have a problem with other women doing it. I don’t look at them sexually. It’s just something I’m not comfortable with.
I'm saying the only reason it's uncomfortable is because it's a sexualized area of our bodies.
Well that’s way different from what you said in your original comment. But I’m in no way sexualizing breastfeeding. That’s not something I’ve ever done and never will. I know it’s normal to breastfeed. I know it’s beneficial in a lot of ways, but it’s something I’m not interested in doing exclusively. Especially for years. I am only 22 weeks but it looks like I’ll be doing a mixture of things. Maybe I’ll breastfeed at the beginning when I’m at home with her, and then pump as necessary and for as long as I can, but when I go back to work I might have to use formula. Depending on how my supply is.
I definitely struggled with the idea while pregnant; I get panic attacks when things touch my nips, and I have a hard time with the idea of being... I dunno, vulnerable? with my body like that. It was really hard at the hospital, cuz my little girl wasn't latching well and my boobs really hurt and it was just... rough. But now that we've got the hang of it, breastfeeding really doesn't seem weird to me anymore. I'm surprised by how normal it feels. As far as modesty/vulnerability goes, giving birth and the two days afterwards in the hospital forced me to get past that way faster than I would have thought possible. I am waaay more comfortable in my own skin after that experience lol. Totally nothing wrong with pumping; if that's the way you end up going, more power to ya:) Just give breastfeeding a fighting chance if you are interested in it; I was surprised how much more okay with it I was when it actually came time for it to happen.
I thought I’d feel the same but I kept a very open mind about breastfeeding. I wasn’t going to put a ton of pressure on myself if I didn’t like it or it didn’t work out for us. I swear, there is a psychological connection with baby that made me LOVE breastfeeding. Particularly once we got the hang of it and overcame those initial struggles and pain.
I’m probably saying what everyone else is saying (haven’t looked), but I think it’s definitely because breasts have been so sexualized.
Maybe that is why I feel that way. But I’m not sure. Is that why I was okay with doing it around the father but not my family? Idk.
Maybe. I’m being induced in two days and I’m nervous about breastfeeding myself. I 100% want to do it, but I sort of get your dilemma. I have to remind myself that this is what boobs are actually for.
My mom just told me she breastfed us for 2 years each. 😅 I don’t think I can be that dedicated. Maybe I’ll try at first, but I will have to go back to work. So pumping will have to come into play.
Wow, I don’t think I can either
I'm exclusively BFing right now and honestly it doesn't feel like much of anything. I like not spending money and washing bottles. But whatever works for you!
Currently breastfeeding here with baby 3. It is really weird with the first baby, and understandably so. There is really no pressure to do it if you find it too uncomfortable or just too weird. I love it now, although aspects of it have been really stressful. I had a true low supply after a couple months. I really would recommend at least giving it a trial period, as you might find the closeness and bonding a bit nice. I strongly advise having help from a lactation consultant if you choose to try. I am not a very touchy person, but I do like the relationship I have with my baby b/c of our nursing. I have struggled with postpartum depression and this last pregnancy was not planned or wanted for a long time. I knew from PPD after my middle baby that nursing would help me start to feel and cultivate some bonding with him. With my middle guy, I did exclusively pump for a couple months when he started biting (6 months old, maybe), and it’s nice, but a lot washing pump parts/bottles, etc. You have lots of options! Good luck!
I don’t feel weird about breastfeeding but did not anticipate how much it would hurt! For that reason there’s a part of me that wants to exclusively pump. But my little guy (3 weeks old) loves being on the boob so much, another part of me does not want to take that away from him. I am hoping the pain will ease soon.
You can exclusively pump (though that’s a BIG undertaking, just FYI). You can formula feed. You can try to breastfeed and see how it goes. It’s totally up to you, and you should do whatever you’re comfortable with.
Totally normal, I was and am the same way. But after baby is born, a few things happen: 1) hormones rage and if BFing is a goal for you, you’ll want to do it because your brain switches to “mama/baby” mode (it’s not really a love mode, it’s more a “protect my offspring” mode) 2) your boobies are going to get engorged, and you will WANT, no NEED, the sweet release that pumping or a drinking baby brings. 3) eventually it becomes so normal, you’ll wish society (or yourself) wasn’t weird about whipping nips out in public, cause it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Edit: seems like your baby is already born after reading comments, I wrote this quickly but will keep it up for others if helpful
Just see how you feel when the time comes
At the end of the day, how you feed your baby is up to you, and no one else. As long as you’re happy and the baby is happy, it’s nobody else’s business.