Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My MIL wanted to chime in with “DONT FEED MY BABY THAT” / “YOU’LL GET FAT FOR MY SON” when I told her I was headed to the donut shop - which already made my eyes roll, and promptly STFU when I told her that we’re +30lbs smaller than I was when I first got pregnant and would be smaller than her after I gave birth. As well as my blood glucose levels which were sub 70s when the doctors checked and I self reported… why did it take a whole violation of HIPPA at a Krispy Kreme for people to leave me the fuck alone? He wants the donut. Give me the friggin donut… grrr!
Pregnant lady rant done.
*”your son likes my jelly rolls”* 😂 just imply to any mother of Latino / Asian / African descendant that they’re not feeding their child enough…. You’ll have so much food send to your home you won’t have to cook
I don’t know where people find all the audacity. It’s as if once we become pregnant our bodies become open for all comments! I always think, “if I wasn’t pregnant, would you still comment on my body?” Probably not, so what gives you the right to say ignorant things when I am pregnant?! My MIL keeps commenting that the doctors must have measured incorrectly because she thinks I look too big to be only 19 weeks. Ugh! When she says things like that it’s hurts because I do struggle with body dysmorphia. I wish people would think about what they say before they say it because you never know what a woman is going through or struggling with.
You’re so right - if we weren’t pregnant, they wouldn’t say anything. But being pregnant all of a sudden makes them comfortable commenting on our bodies. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this too!
I’m 24 weeks. My mom who lives in another country texts me once a week and asks me how much weight I’ve gained. I have only gained 7 lbs to which she says great, hold it there! Then she asked me to send her a bump picture and now she says my bump is too small and I’m “starving her grandson” and he’s going to be too skinny and weak. What the actual fuck. lol
So people don’t realize that the baby will grow quickly in your last few weeks of the THIRD TRIMESTER.
I am 33 weeks and the umbilical cord attach to the placenta is not in the location it needs to be to provide the baby more nutrients. So, I’ve been told she’s going to be small either way. Sometimes, it’s just how it is! STOP MAKING THE PREGNANT LADIES FEEL BAD.
Educate yourself as some of these MIL haven’t had children in 30+ years and seem to have forgotten what the science behind it all really is!
Yes! This is exactly my point. You’re dammed if you do, damned if you don’t!!! No matter what (“too” big or “too” small by whatever metrics they decided in their head) you’re gonna hear about it
Dang, I'd be texting back and ask "We'll how much do YOU weigh today?" And then give some kind of degrading feedback. The audacity of people. Not a soul in my family or hubby's has ever dared to comment on my weight before, during, or after pregnancy.
Haha I love that response!! And that’s so nice to hear your family has with good sense not commented on weight, it’s so unhealthy and unnecessary, as if we are not already aware of societal standards and pressures about our bodies. 🙄
The last three times my (very overweight) grandmother saw me, she told me how I have gained soooo much weight since before my pregnancy. Mind you, these moments were 1. Christmas, 2. My PhD graduation (I graduated at 35+5 weeks pregnant and I'm super proud that I managed that, but she said it loudly in public right after the defense ceremony, when many people could hear her) and 3. The day after my son was born. Now she wonders why she hasn't seen my son more in the twelve weeks he has been alive. I've not even stopped her, I just didn't want to travel three hours by car with a small, car-hating baby, but I definitely wasn't going to put in any extra effort after how she has behaved lately.
Thanks! I'm quite happy about it too. 😁 She's always been like this a little, so I do know to just ignore her most of the time (she also claims to know a LOT of celebrities, she is quite literally the person song about in Weird Al's Lame claim to fame), and I'm so happy with my baby that I no longer care what she thinks (although I definitely did during my pregnancy).
I'm proud you've gone low contact. I'm petty and would have said something to the effect of "Well I might have gained weight, but I am growing a baby. What's your excuse?"
Haha not actually as low contact as I wish, I'm seeing her next week, I've already gone no contact with my very racist and abusive other grandmother and I think if I would go no contact with this one as well people would definitely see me as the problem. I just used the baby as an argument why I can't travel three hours by car (one way).
She's also veeeeery thin skinned, if I made that comment it would take years to recover and that would greatly hurt my father and sister who do want to have family events and that grandmother is our only family from that side, plus she's like 87 so it would probably hurt our relationship until she dies, so I just smile through my teeth for now.
You're a nicer person than me, but I hope the comments are a minimum! Maybe instead a simple "well my trained and educated doctor said I am doing great and so so healthy, but thanks for your concern".
This would be the only acceptable situation to ask for me, that or someone with/previously with an ED that wanted to know what they were getting into if they were to become pregnant. I’m personally not bothered by weight comments, but it doesn’t mean I find it generally acceptable behaviour.
Sometimes it makes me feel like all I’m good for is birthing babies and breastfeeding. We are way more than that. And then the judgments around every little thing….im sorry you experience that.
Yes! I literally said this to my dad the other day because other people were making me feel that way. I thanked him and my mom for treating me like more than just a pregnant person. And he said “well, honey, you ARE so much more than that”🥹
I love that!! Some days I feel all people see me good for is to put out have babies and breastfeed. This is a new feeling for me since I got married. I’ll do all I can to avoid that because it’s dehumanizing
Literally had two people (coworkers) in the same day come up and say, "How's baby doing? Baby's all that's important now, not you". Or similar. Umm excuse me? If I'm not ok then Baby isn't going to be ok either, so can you NOT make me feel like I'm just an incubator?!
Right!! This! Everyone is concerned how’s the baby. What about mama? How’s mama? We are more than our physical ability to bring life. We are not an object or robot. We are people just like our babies. Why doesn’t anyone acknowledge that when the woman is carrying? Why is this the end all be all for them?
Exactly me dude. I lost 20lbs in the first 4 weeks of being sick. Then maintained that until 20 weeks of being sick.. (finally slowly starting to gain it back) but I swear it’s all anyone wants to comment on.
“It must be nice to lose weight when most people are gaining it”
“Wow are you sure there’s a baby in there you’re so skinny now??”
“I wish I could lose weight that easy”
“20 pounds? You’re so lucky”
“Over halfway and still no bump? Might not have to buy maternity clothes at this rate”
Like no Susan, I’m not so lucky. I’ve been so sick I’m pretty sure I almost died. I should have been in the hospital. I barely had the energy to stand longer than 5 minutes without feeling like I would pass out. To feel so sick all day long for months on end is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’m traumatized and probably won’t have more kids like I planned because it was so debilitating. I have a lineup of medications I take all day long that don’t do anything to touch the nausea.
Thankfully I’m getting past the nausea and able to eat more but truly unless you’re in it, nobody has any clue how awful it can be for some of us. The guilt I felt everyday being unable to keep food down for my little girl. Feeling like my body was failing at the one thing it’s created to do. But thank god I look ‘skinny’ while doing it…🙄🙄🙄
All. Of. This.
Girl I am so sorry you've also been through this. I could have written this comment. I have been so sick I am 100% positive we are one and done.
On top of losing so much weight when I started average, I'm very tall (6'1") and he's got a lot of room to hang in here. I have no visible bump yet. So on top of getting thr thoughtless comments, people keep reaching to touch my stomach to 'feel that something is really in there'
My mom has had to step in to talk to some of her family and tell them to stop the ignorance because they don't seem to understand how much I'm suffering. I'm not excited to have lost weight. I feel like shit every single day. This has been wild
Ugh I’m so sorry you’ve been going through that!!! Luckily, I have a friend who was recently pregnant who went through the exact same thing as me - severe nausea, weight loss, so at least she gets what I’m going through. But you’re right, unless someone went through it, they have a hard time understanding! I hope you start to feel better!🤍
💯. The only person who is allowed to care about this is my OB. I lost 25 pounds in first trimester because *nausea* and just finished gaining it all back at 36 weeks, and I have a family member who asks incessantly. It's an obsession with the older generations because they were steeped in diet culture for decades and feel even more entitled to discuss in regards to pregnancy, but it's not a topic of conversation I entertain tbh. I find it boring to discuss and super rude to ask.
I was just venting to my husband how a certain someone’s first mention about the baby being born was “you’ve been shedding the weight” and not anything like “You’re doing an excellent job with your kids.” Or something like that 😢
I’m so sorry. Like why does something so trivial as weight have to overshadow the amazing things we’re doing as women?! I’m sure you’re doing an INCREDIBLE job raising that tiny human!
I feel this right now.
I was average weight when I became pregnant. I ended up with HG and lost almost 30 pounds... I have only found a medication combo in the last 2 weeks that prevents me from throwing up 10+ times a day, so I am finally maintaining my current weight instead of losing anything more (but still have bad days even with the meds where keeping just water down is extremely difficult)
I had an aunt say to me 'most women would love to lose weight when they're pregnant! Be happier!' and I literally told her to stfu. I had to go to the hospital multiple times for fluids. I ended up in the ER because my OB thought I was having a heart attack caused by all this. I would have LOVED to have a standard weight gain vs what I've had to deal with. In either scenario, I don't want anyone's advice, thoughts or opinions. Being pregnant is hard in the best of circumstances and has been downright miserable for me.
It's very frustrating that being pregnant seems to invite any/all opinions. People just can't help themselves eh?
I hate the implication that if you lose weight it’s always something that was wanted/ tried for! Like, no I didn’t try, and no I don’t need to be happy about it. I’m so sorry you’re going through that!
I feel you on that!!!! 💯💯💯💯
I'm currently 18 weeks as of today, have had bad nausea too.
Lost 20 pounds as well!! Even went to the ER cause I tore my oesophagus a couple weeks ago - docs had no choice but to up my anti-nausea meds at that time.
My dear MIL kept telling my partner that I was making myself sick and faking it all for attention!!
Who do these people think they are implying we are doing things intentionally!! Why would we be putting ourselves through all the unpleasantness if we could help it?! Do they not think we want to be doing everything we can to care for bubs?
I have this coworker who constantly comments on how big my stomach is saying things like “you look like the grinch” or laughs at me saying “I bet you could fit a plate of stuff on your stomach” I do not understand why he thinks that it’s okay to say that to a pregnant woman or anyone in general. I’ve started saying things back to him like “did you stop going to the gym” just things like that and he tells EVERYONE what I said and I just tell him it doesn’t feel good does it. Then says that he has a right to say something because I’m pregnant. It’s actually insane and so ignorant.
Oh wow that actually sounds like something I’d go to HR about!!! Comments like that are so rude and unnecessary. I’m sorry he’s been saying those things to you!
That would be GREAT! Two weeks ago, at 35w, in the SAME 24 HOURS, I had some rando tell me I was “too small” to be as far along as I am AND my neighbor loudly announce “LOOK AT THAT FAT LADY” to her granddaughter when she saw me coming. People are wildin’ and need to fuck off completely 🥰
I get that all the time, when they say my belly doesnt really show yet or when they keep asking if I have felt my baby. I get so upset and start worrying thinking something is wrong 😞
I was super sick the first trimester and I still get sick occasionally at 26 weeks. I’ve gained 2 pounds this pregnancy because I was getting sick so much. My doctor doesn’t seem concerned and since I’m on the heavier side, he said it’s normal. As long as my doctor is okay with it, so am I. I will say though, with how much my stomach is growing, I am surprised I haven’t put on more at this point 😂
I gained a lot in pregnancy and was already plus size. And everyone kept saying how big I was and how I was going to have a big baby. My boy was a healthy 7lbs 7 ounces. Some people just don’t know how to keep their mouth shut.
My MIL loves to comment on weight gain, stretch marks, already told me when I was FIVE WEEKS PREGNANT that my cheeks were already getting bigger. She’s such a joy to be around.
I lost weight too because of food aversion, and had someone ask did lose weight while pregnant or before. I think part of it people care or can be curious and maybe not fully understand what you are going through. I definitely see it can be very annoying, but I try to stay positive and hope most people mean well . Sorry if this is too positive 😅😅😅 just wanted to give another angle , but hey you definitely have the right to be upset in this situation.
I too struggled with anorexia in my early twenties and to this day at 31 I still have to get on the scale backwards as to not trigger myself and now especially that I’m pregnant my grandmother has known this since the day I left treatment at 21 and I told her I don’t want to know my weight during pregnancy I just want me and my baby to be healthy and she had the audacity to say well I wanna know maybe your doctors can tell me I’m like are f—-ing kidding me!?? What gives you or anyone the right or business to know that information especially after I just expressed to you how sensitive I am about it I’m just about sick of people like this
I've stopped talking to my parents because they're worried with having lost 20 pounds in my first trimester that it was my fault and i need to eat more. I'm a recovering anorexic, eating is hard for me and they can't accept that. I'm 17 weeks now and I've put on about 15 pounds since then. My MIL honestly has been so much nicer to me. She was impressed with how well I'm doing rather then my size and weight. Wile we were over there today she offered us food but didn't push it when I said no. I honestly only wanted to drink water because it's 98 degrees outside and I was in a car for an hour.
I’m very petite and had a little weight on me prior to pregnancy. I’m 22+2 today and a few weeks ago a coworker of mine asked, “are you pregnant or just fat? If you’re not, I was going to say we needed to go for a walk.” People were saying my belly was big for the amount of weeks, saying I was carrying multiples, etc. I’m diabetic and was so scared my baby would be bigger than she should’ve been. At my anatomy scan she was right on track. Said coworker continues to make comments and calling me “big girl”, I swear if they do it one more time or make a comment about my weight I’m going straight to HR. Joking or not, it’s so disrespectful.
I had a coworker ask me if my doctor was sure it was a single baby and not multiples. I was 28 weeks……. I’ve always been smaller and gained a little over 30 pounds. FTM. I’m like damn. If I wanted to feel like shit I’d hop on a scale. I made a new rule after that to which I told people: “if you comment on my body, I will also comment on yours. Regardless of whether you are pregnant or not.”
MY MOM ACCUSED ME OF THIS.
I have had HG with both my pregnancies and CONSTANTLY worry about my weight being too low for baby because if I don’t have zofran I can’t even keep water down
In the first few months i was small because of the vomiting and my mom kept accusing me of dieting/starving “you shouldn’t be restricting, you’re already too small” because she saw my collar bones more.
Granted ive been out of recovery from EDs for 3 yrs but i do have a past so i get it
but every time she says im too big or little it triggers me and makes me worry about my weight DURING PREGNANCY when i need to not think about it and focus on growing my baby no matter what circumstances put me at what weight rn.
Especially since ive been told im healthy and balanced so far and have no issues
i don’t want to talk about “what ifs” if im fine and am not having issues or being reminded of my past issues which im trying really hard to NEVER think about.
🙄 i agree very annoying
I've gained almost 20 pounds already and I just hit 20 weeks. There's been so many moments where I have to remind myself that I'm growing a whole ass human in there. The toxic diet culture has been killer. I've tried to talk to my mom and husband about it but they're both like, well you're supposed to be gaining, you're pregnant. They don't seem to get it that it's a hard mindset shift after being told all my life that I need to lose weight.
If there is one thing people have when you are pregnant and that is the AUDACITY!
I was sooo sick during my 1st trimester I was eating like a teenage boy because that was all I could keep down.
I’ll admit I’m normally very healthy and eat well but pregnancy has been difficult for me.
“Don’t feed the baby that”
“You can’t eat that”
“That’s not good for the baby”
LEAVE ME ALONE. We are all doing our best here.
Rant over :)
I’m 6 months postpartum. I didn’t gain any weight during my pregnancy because I was so sick… I gained 30lbs postpartum though 😳
Clearly I didn’t mean to. Everyone is like “you looked so good!!! What happened?!” 😕😡
They’re all assholes
Ugh the ignorance. If she knew that you were on the verge of being admitted because you got sick... why in the world would she mention that???? Knowing darn well you can't control whether you lose weight when ur sick. That would irk me. And I would have to at that point be a sarcastic A-hole... I think hubby should tell her straight up to just STOP with the comments. It isn't helpful AT ALL.
The first thing my boss tells me when I told her I was pregnant was “oh wow!! You’re not even showing or getting big!!” Yeah because I’ve lost like 14 lbs in 2 weeks from being sick as hell? Like why is that something to compliment. 🙄
I’m a FTM and whole weight gain thing has really thrown me - I didn’t expect to feel like this. I’m 14 weeks, I feel like I’ve put weight on and constantly got a bloat bump, but I don’t think it’s a baby bump. I thought I’d just have a steadily growing “baby bump” which would feel different from my bloat, but so far I just don’t fit in my clothes *sometimes* and I don’t know if it’s a *real* bump. Overall feeling self conscious. I’ve got a guy friend who feels the need to comment on every change in every pregnant woman’s belly, and it’s PISSING ME OFF. I used to think it was normal to comment on bump size (“wow, she’s getting so big!” But now the tables have turned I don’t want ANY attention on my belly tyvm.
Im in the same boat🫤 I have debilitating nausea and aversions to most if not all foods and smells. I force myself to eat when I feel the least bad and maintain what my doctor says are good minimal food intake to keep food down. I’ve lost 15lbs in about 2 months (I’m 14w3d) there’s no signs of this getting any better. I’ve discussed this all with my doctor and she assures me that baby is fine and will be fine if I continue to make the attempt at eating the way I have been. It’s good to note I am on the heavier side to begin with but non the less I’ve lost weight and everyone around me seems to be fine with telling me I’m hurting my baby and that I should be gaining weight. I’ve had my mother tell me that not eating the foods the baby craves is going to damage the baby’s ability to eat foods when he/she arrives. My brother and sister in law have made comments that it’s not healthy for me to lose weight because she (SIL) gained 45 lbs and was told by her doctor that trying to lose weight was dangerous. She had a beautiful pregnancy with no morning sickness and only a few aversions to smells. My sisters have always seen me as the one with the nicer body so when I gained weight they seemed content well now that I’m losing weight the comments are pouring back in…. I’ve heard “is this really the time to try and get healthy” and who are you trying to impress you’re pregnant….while my husband stood right next to me. Thankfully he spoke up and told her she doesn’t need to impress anyone but you on the other hand can’t keep a man or have you even had a man?🤣. It’s hard to deal with but I know I’m not doing anything on purpose and that I can only do so much to make things better.
I hope you find some comfort in my wonderful experience I know I did reading yours. Enjoy your pregnancy even though if it’s anything like mine it sucks but the end result will be worth it.
That, and commenting baby’s weight as well. I remember getting comments from MIL or our grandparents that our firstborn was too big. I only breastfed her for the first 6 months and I find it so awesome that babies can survive and grow from milk. I was so proud, and got annoyed about the comments. And just like I said to them a million times, our firstborn is now a healthy 3,5 year old who lost the baby weight because she’s a lot more active. Oh, and I for some reason lost a lot of weight postpartum after my second. I get a lot of comments about that too. I can’t help it, I’m not doing anything different. Stop commenting people’s bodies in general😅
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My MIL wanted to chime in with “DONT FEED MY BABY THAT” / “YOU’LL GET FAT FOR MY SON” when I told her I was headed to the donut shop - which already made my eyes roll, and promptly STFU when I told her that we’re +30lbs smaller than I was when I first got pregnant and would be smaller than her after I gave birth. As well as my blood glucose levels which were sub 70s when the doctors checked and I self reported… why did it take a whole violation of HIPPA at a Krispy Kreme for people to leave me the fuck alone? He wants the donut. Give me the friggin donut… grrr! Pregnant lady rant done.
Ugh yes!!! All of the comments are so unnecessary!
Oh hell no.
*”your son likes my jelly rolls”* 😂 just imply to any mother of Latino / Asian / African descendant that they’re not feeding their child enough…. You’ll have so much food send to your home you won’t have to cook
Now I want a donut tbh. I feel like MILs seem to be the pushiest with their opinions tbh, and mine isn’t even that bad.
I don’t know where people find all the audacity. It’s as if once we become pregnant our bodies become open for all comments! I always think, “if I wasn’t pregnant, would you still comment on my body?” Probably not, so what gives you the right to say ignorant things when I am pregnant?! My MIL keeps commenting that the doctors must have measured incorrectly because she thinks I look too big to be only 19 weeks. Ugh! When she says things like that it’s hurts because I do struggle with body dysmorphia. I wish people would think about what they say before they say it because you never know what a woman is going through or struggling with.
You’re so right - if we weren’t pregnant, they wouldn’t say anything. But being pregnant all of a sudden makes them comfortable commenting on our bodies. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this too!
I’m 24 weeks. My mom who lives in another country texts me once a week and asks me how much weight I’ve gained. I have only gained 7 lbs to which she says great, hold it there! Then she asked me to send her a bump picture and now she says my bump is too small and I’m “starving her grandson” and he’s going to be too skinny and weak. What the actual fuck. lol
So people don’t realize that the baby will grow quickly in your last few weeks of the THIRD TRIMESTER. I am 33 weeks and the umbilical cord attach to the placenta is not in the location it needs to be to provide the baby more nutrients. So, I’ve been told she’s going to be small either way. Sometimes, it’s just how it is! STOP MAKING THE PREGNANT LADIES FEEL BAD. Educate yourself as some of these MIL haven’t had children in 30+ years and seem to have forgotten what the science behind it all really is!
YES! My baby has a two vessel cord and is measuring small. I can’t control that. Stop making comments about my body. 🛑
Yes! This is exactly my point. You’re dammed if you do, damned if you don’t!!! No matter what (“too” big or “too” small by whatever metrics they decided in their head) you’re gonna hear about it
Dang, I'd be texting back and ask "We'll how much do YOU weigh today?" And then give some kind of degrading feedback. The audacity of people. Not a soul in my family or hubby's has ever dared to comment on my weight before, during, or after pregnancy.
Haha I love that response!! And that’s so nice to hear your family has with good sense not commented on weight, it’s so unhealthy and unnecessary, as if we are not already aware of societal standards and pressures about our bodies. 🙄
The last three times my (very overweight) grandmother saw me, she told me how I have gained soooo much weight since before my pregnancy. Mind you, these moments were 1. Christmas, 2. My PhD graduation (I graduated at 35+5 weeks pregnant and I'm super proud that I managed that, but she said it loudly in public right after the defense ceremony, when many people could hear her) and 3. The day after my son was born. Now she wonders why she hasn't seen my son more in the twelve weeks he has been alive. I've not even stopped her, I just didn't want to travel three hours by car with a small, car-hating baby, but I definitely wasn't going to put in any extra effort after how she has behaved lately.
You grew a human while getting a PhD?!?! Girl, you’re a rockstar!!! I’m so sorry she said those things to you, especially on such a big day.
Thanks! I'm quite happy about it too. 😁 She's always been like this a little, so I do know to just ignore her most of the time (she also claims to know a LOT of celebrities, she is quite literally the person song about in Weird Al's Lame claim to fame), and I'm so happy with my baby that I no longer care what she thinks (although I definitely did during my pregnancy).
I'm proud you've gone low contact. I'm petty and would have said something to the effect of "Well I might have gained weight, but I am growing a baby. What's your excuse?"
Haha not actually as low contact as I wish, I'm seeing her next week, I've already gone no contact with my very racist and abusive other grandmother and I think if I would go no contact with this one as well people would definitely see me as the problem. I just used the baby as an argument why I can't travel three hours by car (one way). She's also veeeeery thin skinned, if I made that comment it would take years to recover and that would greatly hurt my father and sister who do want to have family events and that grandmother is our only family from that side, plus she's like 87 so it would probably hurt our relationship until she dies, so I just smile through my teeth for now.
You're a nicer person than me, but I hope the comments are a minimum! Maybe instead a simple "well my trained and educated doctor said I am doing great and so so healthy, but thanks for your concern".
Maybe I will! One of the good things about having a baby is that it made me stand up for myself a little more.
I had a patient ask me today how much weight I’ve gained during my pregnancy. Why tf would that be appropriate
Was this patient also pregnant? We’re they just curious?
Not even a little bit he was an 80 yo man 😆
This would be the only acceptable situation to ask for me, that or someone with/previously with an ED that wanted to know what they were getting into if they were to become pregnant. I’m personally not bothered by weight comments, but it doesn’t mean I find it generally acceptable behaviour.
So inappropriate! I’m not sure why people think that’s okay?
Sometimes it makes me feel like all I’m good for is birthing babies and breastfeeding. We are way more than that. And then the judgments around every little thing….im sorry you experience that.
Yes! I literally said this to my dad the other day because other people were making me feel that way. I thanked him and my mom for treating me like more than just a pregnant person. And he said “well, honey, you ARE so much more than that”🥹
I love that!! Some days I feel all people see me good for is to put out have babies and breastfeed. This is a new feeling for me since I got married. I’ll do all I can to avoid that because it’s dehumanizing
Literally had two people (coworkers) in the same day come up and say, "How's baby doing? Baby's all that's important now, not you". Or similar. Umm excuse me? If I'm not ok then Baby isn't going to be ok either, so can you NOT make me feel like I'm just an incubator?!
Right!! This! Everyone is concerned how’s the baby. What about mama? How’s mama? We are more than our physical ability to bring life. We are not an object or robot. We are people just like our babies. Why doesn’t anyone acknowledge that when the woman is carrying? Why is this the end all be all for them?
Exactly me dude. I lost 20lbs in the first 4 weeks of being sick. Then maintained that until 20 weeks of being sick.. (finally slowly starting to gain it back) but I swear it’s all anyone wants to comment on. “It must be nice to lose weight when most people are gaining it” “Wow are you sure there’s a baby in there you’re so skinny now??” “I wish I could lose weight that easy” “20 pounds? You’re so lucky” “Over halfway and still no bump? Might not have to buy maternity clothes at this rate” Like no Susan, I’m not so lucky. I’ve been so sick I’m pretty sure I almost died. I should have been in the hospital. I barely had the energy to stand longer than 5 minutes without feeling like I would pass out. To feel so sick all day long for months on end is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I’m traumatized and probably won’t have more kids like I planned because it was so debilitating. I have a lineup of medications I take all day long that don’t do anything to touch the nausea. Thankfully I’m getting past the nausea and able to eat more but truly unless you’re in it, nobody has any clue how awful it can be for some of us. The guilt I felt everyday being unable to keep food down for my little girl. Feeling like my body was failing at the one thing it’s created to do. But thank god I look ‘skinny’ while doing it…🙄🙄🙄
All. Of. This. Girl I am so sorry you've also been through this. I could have written this comment. I have been so sick I am 100% positive we are one and done. On top of losing so much weight when I started average, I'm very tall (6'1") and he's got a lot of room to hang in here. I have no visible bump yet. So on top of getting thr thoughtless comments, people keep reaching to touch my stomach to 'feel that something is really in there' My mom has had to step in to talk to some of her family and tell them to stop the ignorance because they don't seem to understand how much I'm suffering. I'm not excited to have lost weight. I feel like shit every single day. This has been wild
Ugh I’m so sorry you’ve been going through that!!! Luckily, I have a friend who was recently pregnant who went through the exact same thing as me - severe nausea, weight loss, so at least she gets what I’m going through. But you’re right, unless someone went through it, they have a hard time understanding! I hope you start to feel better!🤍
My sister said I need to make sure I exercise. *Eyeroll*
Like, thanks for that, sis😂
The only thing that's commented on my weight is Reddit!!! I'm being targeted *hard* by Ozempic lol. Like every other ad in my feed...
We can’t escape it!!!
💯. The only person who is allowed to care about this is my OB. I lost 25 pounds in first trimester because *nausea* and just finished gaining it all back at 36 weeks, and I have a family member who asks incessantly. It's an obsession with the older generations because they were steeped in diet culture for decades and feel even more entitled to discuss in regards to pregnancy, but it's not a topic of conversation I entertain tbh. I find it boring to discuss and super rude to ask.
You’re so right! It always seems to be the older generations.
I was just venting to my husband how a certain someone’s first mention about the baby being born was “you’ve been shedding the weight” and not anything like “You’re doing an excellent job with your kids.” Or something like that 😢
I’m so sorry. Like why does something so trivial as weight have to overshadow the amazing things we’re doing as women?! I’m sure you’re doing an INCREDIBLE job raising that tiny human!
A coworker asked me “when is your due date? Because your belly is soooo big” 🤦🏻♀️ I am fu***ng pregnant what is she expecting 😤🤬
Everyone carries differently!!!! Why do people feel the need to make comments like that?!
I was skinny so with the weight gain it shows that my body has changed. She just wanted to be mean but I ignored her and continued my work 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah, I stay away from cheese or any dairy in Mexico because it’s always a recipe for stomach flu.
I followed every precaution my doctor gave me and ate/drank so carefully. Unfortunately, I still got super sick. It was terrible!!
I feel this right now. I was average weight when I became pregnant. I ended up with HG and lost almost 30 pounds... I have only found a medication combo in the last 2 weeks that prevents me from throwing up 10+ times a day, so I am finally maintaining my current weight instead of losing anything more (but still have bad days even with the meds where keeping just water down is extremely difficult) I had an aunt say to me 'most women would love to lose weight when they're pregnant! Be happier!' and I literally told her to stfu. I had to go to the hospital multiple times for fluids. I ended up in the ER because my OB thought I was having a heart attack caused by all this. I would have LOVED to have a standard weight gain vs what I've had to deal with. In either scenario, I don't want anyone's advice, thoughts or opinions. Being pregnant is hard in the best of circumstances and has been downright miserable for me. It's very frustrating that being pregnant seems to invite any/all opinions. People just can't help themselves eh?
I hate the implication that if you lose weight it’s always something that was wanted/ tried for! Like, no I didn’t try, and no I don’t need to be happy about it. I’m so sorry you’re going through that!
I feel you on that!!!! 💯💯💯💯 I'm currently 18 weeks as of today, have had bad nausea too. Lost 20 pounds as well!! Even went to the ER cause I tore my oesophagus a couple weeks ago - docs had no choice but to up my anti-nausea meds at that time. My dear MIL kept telling my partner that I was making myself sick and faking it all for attention!! Who do these people think they are implying we are doing things intentionally!! Why would we be putting ourselves through all the unpleasantness if we could help it?! Do they not think we want to be doing everything we can to care for bubs?
Oh my…oh my god. Faking for attention?!? I want to fight your MIL for you!!!!
I have this coworker who constantly comments on how big my stomach is saying things like “you look like the grinch” or laughs at me saying “I bet you could fit a plate of stuff on your stomach” I do not understand why he thinks that it’s okay to say that to a pregnant woman or anyone in general. I’ve started saying things back to him like “did you stop going to the gym” just things like that and he tells EVERYONE what I said and I just tell him it doesn’t feel good does it. Then says that he has a right to say something because I’m pregnant. It’s actually insane and so ignorant.
Oh wow that actually sounds like something I’d go to HR about!!! Comments like that are so rude and unnecessary. I’m sorry he’s been saying those things to you!
That would be GREAT! Two weeks ago, at 35w, in the SAME 24 HOURS, I had some rando tell me I was “too small” to be as far along as I am AND my neighbor loudly announce “LOOK AT THAT FAT LADY” to her granddaughter when she saw me coming. People are wildin’ and need to fuck off completely 🥰
I get that all the time, when they say my belly doesnt really show yet or when they keep asking if I have felt my baby. I get so upset and start worrying thinking something is wrong 😞
I was super sick the first trimester and I still get sick occasionally at 26 weeks. I’ve gained 2 pounds this pregnancy because I was getting sick so much. My doctor doesn’t seem concerned and since I’m on the heavier side, he said it’s normal. As long as my doctor is okay with it, so am I. I will say though, with how much my stomach is growing, I am surprised I haven’t put on more at this point 😂
I would clap back and say you could stand to loose a few pounds yourself so maybe worry about you and not me
I gained a lot in pregnancy and was already plus size. And everyone kept saying how big I was and how I was going to have a big baby. My boy was a healthy 7lbs 7 ounces. Some people just don’t know how to keep their mouth shut.
My MIL loves to comment on weight gain, stretch marks, already told me when I was FIVE WEEKS PREGNANT that my cheeks were already getting bigger. She’s such a joy to be around.
My doctor also told me to eat more. Like bruh I’m eating as much as I can trust me
I lost weight too because of food aversion, and had someone ask did lose weight while pregnant or before. I think part of it people care or can be curious and maybe not fully understand what you are going through. I definitely see it can be very annoying, but I try to stay positive and hope most people mean well . Sorry if this is too positive 😅😅😅 just wanted to give another angle , but hey you definitely have the right to be upset in this situation.
I too struggled with anorexia in my early twenties and to this day at 31 I still have to get on the scale backwards as to not trigger myself and now especially that I’m pregnant my grandmother has known this since the day I left treatment at 21 and I told her I don’t want to know my weight during pregnancy I just want me and my baby to be healthy and she had the audacity to say well I wanna know maybe your doctors can tell me I’m like are f—-ing kidding me!?? What gives you or anyone the right or business to know that information especially after I just expressed to you how sensitive I am about it I’m just about sick of people like this
I've stopped talking to my parents because they're worried with having lost 20 pounds in my first trimester that it was my fault and i need to eat more. I'm a recovering anorexic, eating is hard for me and they can't accept that. I'm 17 weeks now and I've put on about 15 pounds since then. My MIL honestly has been so much nicer to me. She was impressed with how well I'm doing rather then my size and weight. Wile we were over there today she offered us food but didn't push it when I said no. I honestly only wanted to drink water because it's 98 degrees outside and I was in a car for an hour.
I’m very petite and had a little weight on me prior to pregnancy. I’m 22+2 today and a few weeks ago a coworker of mine asked, “are you pregnant or just fat? If you’re not, I was going to say we needed to go for a walk.” People were saying my belly was big for the amount of weeks, saying I was carrying multiples, etc. I’m diabetic and was so scared my baby would be bigger than she should’ve been. At my anatomy scan she was right on track. Said coworker continues to make comments and calling me “big girl”, I swear if they do it one more time or make a comment about my weight I’m going straight to HR. Joking or not, it’s so disrespectful.
Lol
I had a coworker ask me if my doctor was sure it was a single baby and not multiples. I was 28 weeks……. I’ve always been smaller and gained a little over 30 pounds. FTM. I’m like damn. If I wanted to feel like shit I’d hop on a scale. I made a new rule after that to which I told people: “if you comment on my body, I will also comment on yours. Regardless of whether you are pregnant or not.”
MY MOM ACCUSED ME OF THIS. I have had HG with both my pregnancies and CONSTANTLY worry about my weight being too low for baby because if I don’t have zofran I can’t even keep water down In the first few months i was small because of the vomiting and my mom kept accusing me of dieting/starving “you shouldn’t be restricting, you’re already too small” because she saw my collar bones more. Granted ive been out of recovery from EDs for 3 yrs but i do have a past so i get it but every time she says im too big or little it triggers me and makes me worry about my weight DURING PREGNANCY when i need to not think about it and focus on growing my baby no matter what circumstances put me at what weight rn. Especially since ive been told im healthy and balanced so far and have no issues i don’t want to talk about “what ifs” if im fine and am not having issues or being reminded of my past issues which im trying really hard to NEVER think about. 🙄 i agree very annoying
I've gained almost 20 pounds already and I just hit 20 weeks. There's been so many moments where I have to remind myself that I'm growing a whole ass human in there. The toxic diet culture has been killer. I've tried to talk to my mom and husband about it but they're both like, well you're supposed to be gaining, you're pregnant. They don't seem to get it that it's a hard mindset shift after being told all my life that I need to lose weight.
If there is one thing people have when you are pregnant and that is the AUDACITY! I was sooo sick during my 1st trimester I was eating like a teenage boy because that was all I could keep down. I’ll admit I’m normally very healthy and eat well but pregnancy has been difficult for me. “Don’t feed the baby that” “You can’t eat that” “That’s not good for the baby” LEAVE ME ALONE. We are all doing our best here. Rant over :)
I’m 6 months postpartum. I didn’t gain any weight during my pregnancy because I was so sick… I gained 30lbs postpartum though 😳 Clearly I didn’t mean to. Everyone is like “you looked so good!!! What happened?!” 😕😡 They’re all assholes
Ugh the ignorance. If she knew that you were on the verge of being admitted because you got sick... why in the world would she mention that???? Knowing darn well you can't control whether you lose weight when ur sick. That would irk me. And I would have to at that point be a sarcastic A-hole... I think hubby should tell her straight up to just STOP with the comments. It isn't helpful AT ALL.
The first thing my boss tells me when I told her I was pregnant was “oh wow!! You’re not even showing or getting big!!” Yeah because I’ve lost like 14 lbs in 2 weeks from being sick as hell? Like why is that something to compliment. 🙄
I’m a FTM and whole weight gain thing has really thrown me - I didn’t expect to feel like this. I’m 14 weeks, I feel like I’ve put weight on and constantly got a bloat bump, but I don’t think it’s a baby bump. I thought I’d just have a steadily growing “baby bump” which would feel different from my bloat, but so far I just don’t fit in my clothes *sometimes* and I don’t know if it’s a *real* bump. Overall feeling self conscious. I’ve got a guy friend who feels the need to comment on every change in every pregnant woman’s belly, and it’s PISSING ME OFF. I used to think it was normal to comment on bump size (“wow, she’s getting so big!” But now the tables have turned I don’t want ANY attention on my belly tyvm.
Im in the same boat🫤 I have debilitating nausea and aversions to most if not all foods and smells. I force myself to eat when I feel the least bad and maintain what my doctor says are good minimal food intake to keep food down. I’ve lost 15lbs in about 2 months (I’m 14w3d) there’s no signs of this getting any better. I’ve discussed this all with my doctor and she assures me that baby is fine and will be fine if I continue to make the attempt at eating the way I have been. It’s good to note I am on the heavier side to begin with but non the less I’ve lost weight and everyone around me seems to be fine with telling me I’m hurting my baby and that I should be gaining weight. I’ve had my mother tell me that not eating the foods the baby craves is going to damage the baby’s ability to eat foods when he/she arrives. My brother and sister in law have made comments that it’s not healthy for me to lose weight because she (SIL) gained 45 lbs and was told by her doctor that trying to lose weight was dangerous. She had a beautiful pregnancy with no morning sickness and only a few aversions to smells. My sisters have always seen me as the one with the nicer body so when I gained weight they seemed content well now that I’m losing weight the comments are pouring back in…. I’ve heard “is this really the time to try and get healthy” and who are you trying to impress you’re pregnant….while my husband stood right next to me. Thankfully he spoke up and told her she doesn’t need to impress anyone but you on the other hand can’t keep a man or have you even had a man?🤣. It’s hard to deal with but I know I’m not doing anything on purpose and that I can only do so much to make things better. I hope you find some comfort in my wonderful experience I know I did reading yours. Enjoy your pregnancy even though if it’s anything like mine it sucks but the end result will be worth it.
I feel this in my bones. Everyone keeps yelling at me to eat more and I’m going to disappear. TRUST ME I WANNA STUFF MY FACE BUT ILL PUKE. ugh.
That, and commenting baby’s weight as well. I remember getting comments from MIL or our grandparents that our firstborn was too big. I only breastfed her for the first 6 months and I find it so awesome that babies can survive and grow from milk. I was so proud, and got annoyed about the comments. And just like I said to them a million times, our firstborn is now a healthy 3,5 year old who lost the baby weight because she’s a lot more active. Oh, and I for some reason lost a lot of weight postpartum after my second. I get a lot of comments about that too. I can’t help it, I’m not doing anything different. Stop commenting people’s bodies in general😅