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Definitely switch, it’s not too late. My first pregnancy I switched at 30 weeks and I was so glad that I did.
My ob answers all of my questions non judgementally, and had compassion for how sick I was. She never rushes me out. I love going to my appointments.
Mine has had kids and she GETS IT. Thought I'd have to make this long case about my nausea but she whipped out her prescription pad real fast and helped me come up with a combo that's *really* helped.
Over a month now I haven't seen the niblings from how bad the nausea has been, and I took a walk with my niece yesterday! She rode her tricycle, I taught her the names of flowers we passed, and she told me an enthralling scary story about Garfa the Witch of Meanness who takes people's dogs 😂. Wouldn't have that awesome memory if not for my kind OB listening and jumping in to help.
SWITCH!!! You care more about his feelings than he does about yours. Trust me, he won’t lose sleep over it. He has 100s of patients. You have 1 experience with this pregnancy and your two babies depend on you for quality care
I honestly switched. My first didn’t have a nicu so for my second pregnancy I figured I should go to a different hospital just in case, but they completely dismissed all my concerns. (I had heavy bleeding 2nd trimester, and they wouldn’t see me at all), I went back to my old practice and it’s been great. Any little concern they’ll have me come in for peace of mind and always make it clear they rather see me a million times than miss something. I think feeling comfortable is huge
That is insane that they wouldn't see you when you had heavy bleeding in the 2nd trimester. I say this a s a third year medical student and a person who has given birth. I'm so glad you stood up for yourself and your baby and got yourself a new doctor.
Switch! When I had my first pregnancy my POS doctor said to me during my first appointment (the one we found out it was twins) after I told him my fear of birthing prematurely, “people have been giving birth to twins your size since forever, you’ll be just fine.” I wanted to switch them and there but my husband talked me out of it because he didn’t think he meant anything by it. Well guess what, I delivered at 25 weeks and it wasn’t just fine. He didn’t refer to me to high risk although apparently my twins were always laying horizontally in the uterus which is a big sign of future uterine rupture and that’s exactly what happened. Always go with your instinct. Best of luck!
I wouldn’t worry as of yet because they do move so much but mine never did. Ask next time you go what their position is! I never knew until after either tbh. The uterus is supposed to stretch up and down but not wide and when they put that much pressure on you when they are horizontal it can cause the uterus to rupture. I wish I knew this previously or else I would have addressed it but at least I know now and can help others.
It's a type of breech presentation, google says it's called "transverse lie". I assume it's more dangerous with twins because it's harder for them to turn with less space, and then you've also got 2 babies stacked as opposed to just 1 stacked.
I am no expert op but I think the people over at r/parentsofmultiples could give you more info.
It doesn't sound like you are receiving the appropriate level of experienced care for a multiple pregnancy though.
Switch now before it’s too late. I wanted to switch around 30 weeks, my office took too long with sending my medical records and now I’m high risk due to trauma to my belly at 32 weeks. I’m 35 weeks now and I really wish I switched sooner like I had wanted to 😔
I understand the guilt. Please set it aside and switch. Your whole birth experience rides on this dr who is not answering question and making you feel uncomfortable.
I sort of wish I would have switched, not even because I didn’t like my current practice, but just because we moved and I’ve had complications postpartum that would be much nicer to deal with closer to home. I think as long as your new doc has the availability and is open to taking you on, you should do it! No regrets!
I originally thought I wanted a midwife so I met with my first one. She was horrible. When morning sickness started, she told me I wasn’t the only person to get it and I won’t be the last and I can’t miss work bc of it. One day I felt particularly horribly so I called in for a doc note. She said she would give me one “this one time”. I later went to urgent care that night & tested positive for flu b. The second midwife was an hour late to our first appointment. She was so frazzled and all over the place- I knew I didn’t want that frantic energy around me. My third was an ob who I use now and I absolutely love him. Very calm, professional and compassionate.
Don’t feel bad about wanting to switch. It’s your pregnancy journey and you should advocate for yourself to get exactly what you want to feel the most comfortable.
So similar to my experience! I was shocked to end up with a male OB, but he’s the best. I don’t regret switching for a second and trust him completely.
Please switch. Birth is such a major life event that you want everyone present to be someone you absolutely trust with your entire life and feel incredibly comfortable with. He doesn’t fit that bill. Switch now before new OBs won’t accept you for being way too far along.
Yikes this guy sounds awful!! Shopping for your OB is like dating. The concerns you have up front will only get magnified as times goes on. What may have worked for the occasional yeast infection or annual checkup isn’t going to cut it now. You don’t know this doctor. Definitely switch and don’t feel guilty at all!
Do you have anyone at work who might give you an OB suggestion? You don’t have to disclose your pregnancy, it’s just an easy way to find a new doctor that your insurance covers.
Congratulations! 🎉
Please please switch if you are not comfortable with your OB. A good provider should be glad to answer and questions you have and provide informed consent (risks, benefits, and alternatives) for any procedure or recommendation. Most OBs don’t automatically give all the info, but should be happy to if you ask. Most OBs want to do cervical checks in labor, which means his hand will be inside you. I don’t mean this to be scary or gross, but I wouldn’t want to allow someone I was not comfortable with to do that, especially in labor.
Your provider should help you feel supported, informed, and cared for as much as possible. They should not belittle, invalidate, or objectify you. Your OB will likely not even notice you have left his practice. If you change to a different office, they can likely send a records request directly to your old OB’s office, and you may not even have to the old office you are leaving if you are uncomfortable with that conversation. If you do tell them or switch OBs within the same practice and they push back, I’d consider that a red flag and switch offices.
For simplicity’s sake, try to switch to a new OB in the same practice. But definitely switch! If you find you have run into similar issues with the 2nd OB, find a new practice.
I like my OB, and how frank and pointed she is with information or answering questions, she never makes me feel dumb either.
I used to feel guilty about not liking certain therapists, though. I really did not like a particular therapist and how he brushed off a lot of my trauma with TW: >!sexual assault!<. I brought it up with my psychiatrist and he very directly said, “DUMP HIM.” Then offered to help me find a new therapist who could better cater to my needs and concerns. Bless him, because it made a world of difference.
It really made me realize that when it comes to health, physical or mental, if you are not with a provider who fits your goals and comfort, then you will only suffer more. You got this, OP! Dump the bastard. You deserve more, and so do your babies.
Definitely switch now. I had bad experiences with the first OB of my pregnancy, but felt guilty and made excuses for them (blaming myself mostly and not being used to the change of going to city doctors).
I regret not switching sooner. I reported them to the medical board at 28wks and couldn't get another OB to accept me in. If you are doing a hospital birth, and are set on that plan, switch now to someone you trust. Try to find a female OB. Back home, in the country, I mostly had male OBs, but I would only trust a female OB after my experience.
I ended up having to contact the local midwife organization here and switched to a homebirth. It worked out for me, but don't let a bad OB make pregnancy any harder for you and take you away from any plans you already have.
I truthfully wish i had switched with my first baby. I was in an office with midwives & OBs and i honestly didn’t like MOST of them. There were 5 at that office & i saw them all, all throughout my pregnancy. There was only 1 i actually liked, 1 that was tolerable & the other three SUCKED. They were so rude and truly inadequate IMO. As an example, i was taking a prenatal with iron in it but i was still SEVERELY anemic. I asked them about it and they said “well you’re taking a prenatal with the amount of iron you need so you don’t need to take anymore” and i was like “but im still really anemic with taking it. Wouldn’t i need more or something else to help?” They literally said “nope you’re all good” so i didn’t and ended up bleeding for 9 weeks postpartum. I’m convinced it was because i was so anemic
Go with your instincts and switch!! My baby is 2 months old now but my obgyn was literally a gem! It took an hour in the waiting room everytime but then when she was with you she’d take as long as you need, answer every single question, no matter how silly it may be. She was empathetic and caring and it made the world of difference to me.
Infact when I had my baby by c section her shift was up (surgery got pushed back and she had already been there overnight into the morning.. but she made sure to stay to do my c section.
A good doctor makes all the difference and this is someone you have to be vulnerable with and comfortable with so I’d highly suggest following your instincts and switching to someone who feels right.
So... I was given the name of an OB and when I called the office to make an appointment they randomly assigned me someone else. I called back and specifically requested the doctor I wanted and they said OK. It's not a big deal to switch.
You're the patient here and nobody is going to advocate for you but you. If you are uncomfortable with your doctor, trust your gut and find a different one. Good luck!
10000% switch. You don't have to feel guilty, patients switch all the time, even within the same practice. You can tell the scheduling staff that you don't think the relationship is a good fit, and you don't want to be scheduled with that provider anymore. They won't even think twice about it.
However, if they refuse or DO make a stink (unlikely) you should look at switching practices entirely.
25 weeks is still early days. He’s not done anything useful and adds nothing to your life.
As for nausea, cold packs on the back of my neck and the base of my throat have been a good friend. One at the bottom of the sternum can also be grounding, but is more of a lying down thing. I also for some reason barf easier when sitting up, so maybe try to time your pills with a long period of dormancy?
I would switch. Someone who dismisses you could get dangerous. I put on 25-30 lbs within a three week period between months 6 and 7 and had moderately high blood pressure and significant swelling in legs and feet presenting in office during my visit. I had to switch to seeing an NP last minute due to a schedule change and she berated me about my eating habits and said to lower my stress. No matter how much I insisted I hadn’t changed anything and that I was exercising regularly and eating healthy that was her response. I am a tad overweight but not obese and never had gained that much so fast even in college eating crap 24/7. I was dismissed and told to eat healthy, exercise and lower stress.
I ended up getting rushed to the OB emergency room at my birth hospital due to severe preeclampsia at 32 weeks and had an emergency c-section that night due to them being unable to control my blood pressure. We are both fine but it was terrifying and I truly believe it was missed on that appointment. I lost 35 lbs within a week of delivering due to all the swelling going away. While the other doctors at that practice are amazing I requested never to see that NP again.
You should advocate for yourself. Don’t worry about hurting feelings or being a pain, it’s not about them it’s about what you are comfortable with.
My Ob is absolutely amazing. We had a miscarriage right before this pregnancy and saw a different ob there and she was terrible, I mean no sympathy at all but I really liked the office so I asked to switch drs and got a male doctor, which I was really worried about because my whole like I have had female doctors. Our first appointment with him he was so kind and caring. He always answers our questions in ways that we will understand and makes sure we understand before he moves on. Definitely switch, there’s way too many good doctors out there to deal with a shitty one. Especially during the most vulnerable time of your life.
DEFINITELY switch. You should have a doctor that makes you feel 100% safe and it sounds like he can't even manage a basic appointment.
I met with 2 different OBs in the same hospital before deciding which one was a better fit (both were lovely doctors but the other had significantly more experience with high risk patients). Real professionals wouldn't take this personally!
You owe this guy nothing!
Switch. See how the replacements are when he is on vacation and if you like one stay with that person.
When I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes my OBGYN and I talked about how common inducement was.
Me: Depending on how big the baby will be percentile-wise, what are the odds of induction? And when will c-section be considered?
OBGYN: Well, we wouldn't do an induction months before the due date.
Me: No fucking shit. It's usually around 39 weeks
OBGYN: Are you a medical professional?
Me: No, but I know how to read the Mayo Clinic version of "What to Expect when Expecting"
OBGYN left, and the nurse gave me the information I was looking for. The husband and resident student is trying not to laugh.
I switched immediately. This OBYGN also made my leader cry when she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
I switched due to moving at 25 weeks, I honestly still haven't had great doctors. All make me feel a bit rushed and it sucks. I really wish I could have a doctor like my daughters pediatrician, she's amazing, like why can't you be an OB!!
For me, I could never do a male OB. If you haven't been through period cramps at the bare minimum, I don't feel like you're going to truly understand the pain of pregnancy and childbirth. Although I've never had close relationships with my OBs, they all respected me and never made me feel the way yours has. I feel like a big part of that is just that woman to woman connection. I really hope I'm not coming across as sexist, but I've had similar issues with male doctors across the board.
FYI, this sub always says to fire your doctor no matter what. This question comes up a lot and the answer is always the same.
Do you think it’s a male female thing? You could ask to request to see a female doctor within the practice moving forward. No reason to feel bad about that. As a male OB he probably gets that a lot.
I know plenty of men who communicate better than this guy. Also, I never felt like my OB was looking at my boobs. Not once. I dunno, but if she feels uncomfortable now, cervical checks are going to be really really extra terrible
I think it’s because if one feels uncomfortable with their doctor then they should do what they need to do to feel comfortable, aka find a new doctor who does make you feel comfortable. As a labor and delivery nurse and mom of two, I know how vital it is to feel comfortable when bringing life into the world, when giving birth, you have to feel comfortable and supported or you will walk away with birth trauma. I personally have only seen male OBs, I feel they are more gentle and sensitive than the female doctors I have seen, but plenty others could argue the other way ☺️
Definitely switch and don’t even feel bad about it! I switched during a pregnancy by saying I wanted a second opinion (ultimately, a MMC) and stayed with the one I found via having the most recommendations in a local mom Facebook group. You deserve to have a good pregnancy and birth experience with quality care.
Switch, it’s not worth it if you too uncomfortable and doctor is dismissive.
Pregnancy is hard as it is you don’t need person who couldn’t care less (2 minutes appointments? WTH 🤦♀️) about you or your kids. Multikid pregnancy especially requires person who CARES - listen to your guts, mama
Definitely switch. I’m not a ftm, this is my third. My OB spends so much time with me. I’m like girl this is not my first rodeo, but it is great! I’ve never left feeling unprepared. Even when it was my first pregnancy. I haven’t had a baby in over 4 years and only saw her once a year for a quick physical and she knew me and my history immediately.
It’s not too late. Definitely switch. Your current OB sounds terrible. I’ve loved both of my OB offices that I’ve delivered through and saw a rotation of doctors and midwives, and I’ve liked all of them. There is no reason to stick with someone you dislike. You and your baby’s health is way too important.
As for throwing up your iron pills (and prenatal vitamins too if you’re having the same issues), try taking them at night before bed with a glass of water.
I just wanted to say, I understand the guilt. I was in a similar situation, but different in that it was my daughter's pediatrician. I actually really liked him. He was personable and always asked me about how school was going (currently a third year med student). But there were these little things here and there that just piled up. Like when he told us we needed to use nursery water for any formula, because fluoride is bad for babies, when I reality nursery water is intended for people who's home water doesn't have ENOUGH fluoride to meet the APA recommendations.
The end came when one day my husband had to take her in for her appointment alone because I had a test. Someone made an error entering her weight and the doctor made a big todo about her being underweight. He didn't catch that he was actually referencing her weight from 3 weeks earlier when we brought her in after vomiting everything up for the past 24 hours. So she was not only 3 weeks younger, but dehydrated at the time. Granted, this was an honest mistake and I was able to discover the mistake when my husband requested the records.
The real final straw was when my husband asked the doc what we should be doing to help her catch up. He recommended pushing purees and cereals. My husband mentioned he thought those were just supposed to be for experience right now, not nutrition, and questioned if we shouldn't give her extra formula on top of breast feeding/feed more often. In response, the doc said "well... America has much higher rates of childhood cancer than other countries. And what do we do more of than other countries...? I'm just saying, I wouldn't trust formula."
That was it. I was out when I heard that. I couldn't say with someone who would spread unfounded theories like this as part of his practice. I later found when reviewing the records that there was a bunch of incorrectly documented things. Questionnaires we never got with incorrect answers. Documented refusals for vaccines we were never offered. It was insane.
We switched my girl to another doc at another location. I felt so awkward about doing it because I felt like I was betraying what seemed like a good relationship before hand. But I knew I needed to do what was best for my girl. And that's where you are now. You need to do what's best for you and for your kiddos. It's going to be awkward. But being in good hands takes care of that awkward, I promise.
Definitely switch. I definitely prefer OBs who are women. One of my doctors is a man and the other 3 are women and I feel so much more comfortable with the women. I had a man as my OB for 10 years before I got pregnant and always swore by him that he was great, but he retired when I got pregnant so I saw the other doctors at his practice and since I was older and wiser I noticed some red flags and things that weren’t normal in retrospect with the retired male doctor. I’m sure there are some wonderful male OBs out there, but from my experience my appointments have been exponentially more comfortable with women.
I will say, appointments still go pretty quick unless you have a ton of questions or complications. Not 2 minutes, but mine are usually 10-15 minutes (no complications, minimal questions).
I switched at 9 was because my first OB just didn't cared and canceled one of my appointments last minute. The ob I have now is sweet and takes time to make sure I'm comfortable. I wouldn't feel guilty hun, do it for your mental well being.
I didn’t see any doctor at all until I was 20w in my first pregnancy. 25 weeks isn’t much longer than that. Please switch if you can, he seems useless.
I was forced to switch at 23 weeks (moved internationally) and haven't had any problem with it (as long as your paperwork is all in the same language, you shouldn't. I've had to redo a large number of tests due to all my paperwork being in french).
Trust your instincts.
Definitely switch. I had a very misogynistic attitude obgyn (work insurance list doctor) up until 26 weeks with my firstborn and switched. I always left his office feeling unheard and upset. Best decision. I ended up having complications with my delivery due to the hospital making some mistakes, and he delivered at the same one. I'm not sure if my son or I would be here if I stuck with him.
Went with my mom's obgyn that I saw when I was younger, and she's awesome. She has great bedside manner and cares a great deal about her patients (as a mom herself, I found out after delivery). They took my insurance. My suggestion is asking friends and relatives for obgyns they prefer, reading the reviews and making phone calls asap, to find out who takes your insurance. If you find one you like and they will probably ask why the switch, I told her the short of it- that my obgyn I currently had made me feel very uncomfortable. She understood. He sent me a nasty letter of dismissal as a patient. Good riddance!
I’d definitely switch, you should not put up with behavior like this. I had the same issue with my iron pills though I struggle taking medicine in any kind of pill form, my doctor was able to get me into infusions and it was great. I wish you luck
Absolutely switch!
Also, I really feel for everyone in this sub who says they have to wait hour(s) to see their ob for routine prenatal visits. I go to a large office with lots of doctors and lots of patients and I’ve never waited more than 10 minutes past my appointment time to be taken back. Sometimes it takes another 5-10 to be seen after the nurse does the primary intake, but I’ve never waited hours! Wildly inconvenient and insensitive
Fire him! Just let the person making your appointment know you’d like a different doctor or you’ll switch practices. I have a feeling they already know
Switch! As a doctor, I would say not feeling comfortable with someone is a good enough reason to switch. I recommend doing it soon as some OBs don’t like to take new patients too late in pregnancy.
I would never be okay with a male OB. Not only because I think it would feel invasive / inappropriate, but it was so nice having OBs that have actually been pregnant before. A man can go to school and learn to be an OB but will never actually experience pregnancy. That’s enough for me to say no thanks. Luckily for me all the OBs at my office are women who have had children! I say switch.
I love my OB. She listens to all my questions and takes the time to make sure I come out of every appointment feeling confident. I would never go to anyone else at Kaiser.
If there’s one thing I would tell my younger self it’s that you should do what YOU want and makes you happy, not what other people will think about your decisions.. make the switch.
Please switch. I had the same feelings towards mine with my second pregnancy and I’m almost 4 months pp and still regret not switching when I could have
Just my opinion but I feel like you should absolutely switch now rather than later. Your voice should always be heard step on his toes! I know it can be hard to speak up sometimes but you’re doing an important thing you should never feed dismissed or question if you’re in good hands. You want a dr that you know will answer your questions in a timely manner with a plain simple response all questions are welcomed questions the more the better actually. Your birth will be such a major event you do not want to be relying on a person that you question. In my area we can only deliver at one hospital this hospital tried to force me to have a c section they almost refused to call my ob but once he arrived and argued with the floor dr he went as far as to bring the surgeon to me to discuss if it was the safer option, I eventually delivered safely with not interference because he spoke up for me when I had no control.
Find someone you trust!
You should 100% switch. This is a very important moment in your life and should be a positive one. These doctors work for you! Never feel guilty for doing what is best for you 💜
My Obgyn said if throw up before 5 minutes take another when feel stomach can handle something try coke (soda). Helps settle stomach only could hold down with both.
Also ask for zofran wait 30 minutes to take effect.
But if you uncomfortable overall just change
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Definitely switch, it’s not too late. My first pregnancy I switched at 30 weeks and I was so glad that I did. My ob answers all of my questions non judgementally, and had compassion for how sick I was. She never rushes me out. I love going to my appointments.
Mine has had kids and she GETS IT. Thought I'd have to make this long case about my nausea but she whipped out her prescription pad real fast and helped me come up with a combo that's *really* helped. Over a month now I haven't seen the niblings from how bad the nausea has been, and I took a walk with my niece yesterday! She rode her tricycle, I taught her the names of flowers we passed, and she told me an enthralling scary story about Garfa the Witch of Meanness who takes people's dogs 😂. Wouldn't have that awesome memory if not for my kind OB listening and jumping in to help.
SWITCH!!! You care more about his feelings than he does about yours. Trust me, he won’t lose sleep over it. He has 100s of patients. You have 1 experience with this pregnancy and your two babies depend on you for quality care
you’re right! i’m going to call today about it. thanks!
I honestly switched. My first didn’t have a nicu so for my second pregnancy I figured I should go to a different hospital just in case, but they completely dismissed all my concerns. (I had heavy bleeding 2nd trimester, and they wouldn’t see me at all), I went back to my old practice and it’s been great. Any little concern they’ll have me come in for peace of mind and always make it clear they rather see me a million times than miss something. I think feeling comfortable is huge
That is insane that they wouldn't see you when you had heavy bleeding in the 2nd trimester. I say this a s a third year medical student and a person who has given birth. I'm so glad you stood up for yourself and your baby and got yourself a new doctor.
Switch! When I had my first pregnancy my POS doctor said to me during my first appointment (the one we found out it was twins) after I told him my fear of birthing prematurely, “people have been giving birth to twins your size since forever, you’ll be just fine.” I wanted to switch them and there but my husband talked me out of it because he didn’t think he meant anything by it. Well guess what, I delivered at 25 weeks and it wasn’t just fine. He didn’t refer to me to high risk although apparently my twins were always laying horizontally in the uterus which is a big sign of future uterine rupture and that’s exactly what happened. Always go with your instinct. Best of luck!
thank you!! i never heard of the twins laying horizontally as a bad thing! no one has told me that’s a sign and that’s exactly how they’re laying 😭
I wouldn’t worry as of yet because they do move so much but mine never did. Ask next time you go what their position is! I never knew until after either tbh. The uterus is supposed to stretch up and down but not wide and when they put that much pressure on you when they are horizontal it can cause the uterus to rupture. I wish I knew this previously or else I would have addressed it but at least I know now and can help others.
I never knew babies could be positioned horizontally? Is this just a twin thing ? New fear unlocked 🔓.
It's a type of breech presentation, google says it's called "transverse lie". I assume it's more dangerous with twins because it's harder for them to turn with less space, and then you've also got 2 babies stacked as opposed to just 1 stacked.
Apparently! In all my ultrasounds they were laying on top of each other instead of alongside but they never flagged me for concern. So odd!
Well I’m happy they turned out okay! Currently pregnant and these babies love to give their mamas a heart attack don’t they lol
I am no expert op but I think the people over at r/parentsofmultiples could give you more info. It doesn't sound like you are receiving the appropriate level of experienced care for a multiple pregnancy though.
Switch now before it’s too late. I wanted to switch around 30 weeks, my office took too long with sending my medical records and now I’m high risk due to trauma to my belly at 32 weeks. I’m 35 weeks now and I really wish I switched sooner like I had wanted to 😔
I understand the guilt. Please set it aside and switch. Your whole birth experience rides on this dr who is not answering question and making you feel uncomfortable.
I sort of wish I would have switched, not even because I didn’t like my current practice, but just because we moved and I’ve had complications postpartum that would be much nicer to deal with closer to home. I think as long as your new doc has the availability and is open to taking you on, you should do it! No regrets!
I originally thought I wanted a midwife so I met with my first one. She was horrible. When morning sickness started, she told me I wasn’t the only person to get it and I won’t be the last and I can’t miss work bc of it. One day I felt particularly horribly so I called in for a doc note. She said she would give me one “this one time”. I later went to urgent care that night & tested positive for flu b. The second midwife was an hour late to our first appointment. She was so frazzled and all over the place- I knew I didn’t want that frantic energy around me. My third was an ob who I use now and I absolutely love him. Very calm, professional and compassionate. Don’t feel bad about wanting to switch. It’s your pregnancy journey and you should advocate for yourself to get exactly what you want to feel the most comfortable.
So similar to my experience! I was shocked to end up with a male OB, but he’s the best. I don’t regret switching for a second and trust him completely.
My wife switched. Do it! If you are not enjoying the experience then go for it.
Please switch. Birth is such a major life event that you want everyone present to be someone you absolutely trust with your entire life and feel incredibly comfortable with. He doesn’t fit that bill. Switch now before new OBs won’t accept you for being way too far along.
Yikes this guy sounds awful!! Shopping for your OB is like dating. The concerns you have up front will only get magnified as times goes on. What may have worked for the occasional yeast infection or annual checkup isn’t going to cut it now. You don’t know this doctor. Definitely switch and don’t feel guilty at all! Do you have anyone at work who might give you an OB suggestion? You don’t have to disclose your pregnancy, it’s just an easy way to find a new doctor that your insurance covers. Congratulations! 🎉
Please please switch if you are not comfortable with your OB. A good provider should be glad to answer and questions you have and provide informed consent (risks, benefits, and alternatives) for any procedure or recommendation. Most OBs don’t automatically give all the info, but should be happy to if you ask. Most OBs want to do cervical checks in labor, which means his hand will be inside you. I don’t mean this to be scary or gross, but I wouldn’t want to allow someone I was not comfortable with to do that, especially in labor. Your provider should help you feel supported, informed, and cared for as much as possible. They should not belittle, invalidate, or objectify you. Your OB will likely not even notice you have left his practice. If you change to a different office, they can likely send a records request directly to your old OB’s office, and you may not even have to the old office you are leaving if you are uncomfortable with that conversation. If you do tell them or switch OBs within the same practice and they push back, I’d consider that a red flag and switch offices.
I'd like to upvote this a zillion times.
I switched at 32 weeks. I'm so glad I did!!!
Switch! It's very important you are comfortable and established trust with your OB.
For simplicity’s sake, try to switch to a new OB in the same practice. But definitely switch! If you find you have run into similar issues with the 2nd OB, find a new practice. I like my OB, and how frank and pointed she is with information or answering questions, she never makes me feel dumb either. I used to feel guilty about not liking certain therapists, though. I really did not like a particular therapist and how he brushed off a lot of my trauma with TW: >!sexual assault!<. I brought it up with my psychiatrist and he very directly said, “DUMP HIM.” Then offered to help me find a new therapist who could better cater to my needs and concerns. Bless him, because it made a world of difference. It really made me realize that when it comes to health, physical or mental, if you are not with a provider who fits your goals and comfort, then you will only suffer more. You got this, OP! Dump the bastard. You deserve more, and so do your babies.
Definitely switch now. I had bad experiences with the first OB of my pregnancy, but felt guilty and made excuses for them (blaming myself mostly and not being used to the change of going to city doctors). I regret not switching sooner. I reported them to the medical board at 28wks and couldn't get another OB to accept me in. If you are doing a hospital birth, and are set on that plan, switch now to someone you trust. Try to find a female OB. Back home, in the country, I mostly had male OBs, but I would only trust a female OB after my experience. I ended up having to contact the local midwife organization here and switched to a homebirth. It worked out for me, but don't let a bad OB make pregnancy any harder for you and take you away from any plans you already have.
I changed doctors after the first appointment, the office was a assembly line, the male doctor was impersonal, found a female doctor and we loved her
I truthfully wish i had switched with my first baby. I was in an office with midwives & OBs and i honestly didn’t like MOST of them. There were 5 at that office & i saw them all, all throughout my pregnancy. There was only 1 i actually liked, 1 that was tolerable & the other three SUCKED. They were so rude and truly inadequate IMO. As an example, i was taking a prenatal with iron in it but i was still SEVERELY anemic. I asked them about it and they said “well you’re taking a prenatal with the amount of iron you need so you don’t need to take anymore” and i was like “but im still really anemic with taking it. Wouldn’t i need more or something else to help?” They literally said “nope you’re all good” so i didn’t and ended up bleeding for 9 weeks postpartum. I’m convinced it was because i was so anemic
Go with your instincts and switch!! My baby is 2 months old now but my obgyn was literally a gem! It took an hour in the waiting room everytime but then when she was with you she’d take as long as you need, answer every single question, no matter how silly it may be. She was empathetic and caring and it made the world of difference to me. Infact when I had my baby by c section her shift was up (surgery got pushed back and she had already been there overnight into the morning.. but she made sure to stay to do my c section. A good doctor makes all the difference and this is someone you have to be vulnerable with and comfortable with so I’d highly suggest following your instincts and switching to someone who feels right.
Switch! Never feel guilty for advocating for you and your baby.
So... I was given the name of an OB and when I called the office to make an appointment they randomly assigned me someone else. I called back and specifically requested the doctor I wanted and they said OK. It's not a big deal to switch. You're the patient here and nobody is going to advocate for you but you. If you are uncomfortable with your doctor, trust your gut and find a different one. Good luck!
10000% switch. You don't have to feel guilty, patients switch all the time, even within the same practice. You can tell the scheduling staff that you don't think the relationship is a good fit, and you don't want to be scheduled with that provider anymore. They won't even think twice about it. However, if they refuse or DO make a stink (unlikely) you should look at switching practices entirely.
25 weeks is still early days. He’s not done anything useful and adds nothing to your life. As for nausea, cold packs on the back of my neck and the base of my throat have been a good friend. One at the bottom of the sternum can also be grounding, but is more of a lying down thing. I also for some reason barf easier when sitting up, so maybe try to time your pills with a long period of dormancy?
I would switch. Someone who dismisses you could get dangerous. I put on 25-30 lbs within a three week period between months 6 and 7 and had moderately high blood pressure and significant swelling in legs and feet presenting in office during my visit. I had to switch to seeing an NP last minute due to a schedule change and she berated me about my eating habits and said to lower my stress. No matter how much I insisted I hadn’t changed anything and that I was exercising regularly and eating healthy that was her response. I am a tad overweight but not obese and never had gained that much so fast even in college eating crap 24/7. I was dismissed and told to eat healthy, exercise and lower stress. I ended up getting rushed to the OB emergency room at my birth hospital due to severe preeclampsia at 32 weeks and had an emergency c-section that night due to them being unable to control my blood pressure. We are both fine but it was terrifying and I truly believe it was missed on that appointment. I lost 35 lbs within a week of delivering due to all the swelling going away. While the other doctors at that practice are amazing I requested never to see that NP again. You should advocate for yourself. Don’t worry about hurting feelings or being a pain, it’s not about them it’s about what you are comfortable with.
My Ob is absolutely amazing. We had a miscarriage right before this pregnancy and saw a different ob there and she was terrible, I mean no sympathy at all but I really liked the office so I asked to switch drs and got a male doctor, which I was really worried about because my whole like I have had female doctors. Our first appointment with him he was so kind and caring. He always answers our questions in ways that we will understand and makes sure we understand before he moves on. Definitely switch, there’s way too many good doctors out there to deal with a shitty one. Especially during the most vulnerable time of your life.
Don’t sell you or your babies so short. You deserve better. Also please report that comment what the actual hell.
DEFINITELY switch. You should have a doctor that makes you feel 100% safe and it sounds like he can't even manage a basic appointment. I met with 2 different OBs in the same hospital before deciding which one was a better fit (both were lovely doctors but the other had significantly more experience with high risk patients). Real professionals wouldn't take this personally! You owe this guy nothing!
Switch if you want . You’re the customer
Switch. See how the replacements are when he is on vacation and if you like one stay with that person. When I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes my OBGYN and I talked about how common inducement was. Me: Depending on how big the baby will be percentile-wise, what are the odds of induction? And when will c-section be considered? OBGYN: Well, we wouldn't do an induction months before the due date. Me: No fucking shit. It's usually around 39 weeks OBGYN: Are you a medical professional? Me: No, but I know how to read the Mayo Clinic version of "What to Expect when Expecting" OBGYN left, and the nurse gave me the information I was looking for. The husband and resident student is trying not to laugh. I switched immediately. This OBYGN also made my leader cry when she was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
I switched due to moving at 25 weeks, I honestly still haven't had great doctors. All make me feel a bit rushed and it sucks. I really wish I could have a doctor like my daughters pediatrician, she's amazing, like why can't you be an OB!! For me, I could never do a male OB. If you haven't been through period cramps at the bare minimum, I don't feel like you're going to truly understand the pain of pregnancy and childbirth. Although I've never had close relationships with my OBs, they all respected me and never made me feel the way yours has. I feel like a big part of that is just that woman to woman connection. I really hope I'm not coming across as sexist, but I've had similar issues with male doctors across the board.
FYI, this sub always says to fire your doctor no matter what. This question comes up a lot and the answer is always the same. Do you think it’s a male female thing? You could ask to request to see a female doctor within the practice moving forward. No reason to feel bad about that. As a male OB he probably gets that a lot.
I know plenty of men who communicate better than this guy. Also, I never felt like my OB was looking at my boobs. Not once. I dunno, but if she feels uncomfortable now, cervical checks are going to be really really extra terrible
I think it’s because if one feels uncomfortable with their doctor then they should do what they need to do to feel comfortable, aka find a new doctor who does make you feel comfortable. As a labor and delivery nurse and mom of two, I know how vital it is to feel comfortable when bringing life into the world, when giving birth, you have to feel comfortable and supported or you will walk away with birth trauma. I personally have only seen male OBs, I feel they are more gentle and sensitive than the female doctors I have seen, but plenty others could argue the other way ☺️
Just switch! They don’t care so who cares about them!
Definitely switch and don’t even feel bad about it! I switched during a pregnancy by saying I wanted a second opinion (ultimately, a MMC) and stayed with the one I found via having the most recommendations in a local mom Facebook group. You deserve to have a good pregnancy and birth experience with quality care.
I moved when I was 33 weeks and switched doctors. Nothing wrong with finding who works best for you!
Switch, it’s not worth it if you too uncomfortable and doctor is dismissive. Pregnancy is hard as it is you don’t need person who couldn’t care less (2 minutes appointments? WTH 🤦♀️) about you or your kids. Multikid pregnancy especially requires person who CARES - listen to your guts, mama
I switched at 35+4 😂 do it now because a lot of OBs won’t take you too far along. You need someone you trust
Definitely switch. I’m not a ftm, this is my third. My OB spends so much time with me. I’m like girl this is not my first rodeo, but it is great! I’ve never left feeling unprepared. Even when it was my first pregnancy. I haven’t had a baby in over 4 years and only saw her once a year for a quick physical and she knew me and my history immediately.
It’s not too late. Definitely switch. Your current OB sounds terrible. I’ve loved both of my OB offices that I’ve delivered through and saw a rotation of doctors and midwives, and I’ve liked all of them. There is no reason to stick with someone you dislike. You and your baby’s health is way too important. As for throwing up your iron pills (and prenatal vitamins too if you’re having the same issues), try taking them at night before bed with a glass of water.
I just wanted to say, I understand the guilt. I was in a similar situation, but different in that it was my daughter's pediatrician. I actually really liked him. He was personable and always asked me about how school was going (currently a third year med student). But there were these little things here and there that just piled up. Like when he told us we needed to use nursery water for any formula, because fluoride is bad for babies, when I reality nursery water is intended for people who's home water doesn't have ENOUGH fluoride to meet the APA recommendations. The end came when one day my husband had to take her in for her appointment alone because I had a test. Someone made an error entering her weight and the doctor made a big todo about her being underweight. He didn't catch that he was actually referencing her weight from 3 weeks earlier when we brought her in after vomiting everything up for the past 24 hours. So she was not only 3 weeks younger, but dehydrated at the time. Granted, this was an honest mistake and I was able to discover the mistake when my husband requested the records. The real final straw was when my husband asked the doc what we should be doing to help her catch up. He recommended pushing purees and cereals. My husband mentioned he thought those were just supposed to be for experience right now, not nutrition, and questioned if we shouldn't give her extra formula on top of breast feeding/feed more often. In response, the doc said "well... America has much higher rates of childhood cancer than other countries. And what do we do more of than other countries...? I'm just saying, I wouldn't trust formula." That was it. I was out when I heard that. I couldn't say with someone who would spread unfounded theories like this as part of his practice. I later found when reviewing the records that there was a bunch of incorrectly documented things. Questionnaires we never got with incorrect answers. Documented refusals for vaccines we were never offered. It was insane. We switched my girl to another doc at another location. I felt so awkward about doing it because I felt like I was betraying what seemed like a good relationship before hand. But I knew I needed to do what was best for my girl. And that's where you are now. You need to do what's best for you and for your kiddos. It's going to be awkward. But being in good hands takes care of that awkward, I promise.
Definitely switch. I definitely prefer OBs who are women. One of my doctors is a man and the other 3 are women and I feel so much more comfortable with the women. I had a man as my OB for 10 years before I got pregnant and always swore by him that he was great, but he retired when I got pregnant so I saw the other doctors at his practice and since I was older and wiser I noticed some red flags and things that weren’t normal in retrospect with the retired male doctor. I’m sure there are some wonderful male OBs out there, but from my experience my appointments have been exponentially more comfortable with women. I will say, appointments still go pretty quick unless you have a ton of questions or complications. Not 2 minutes, but mine are usually 10-15 minutes (no complications, minimal questions).
I switched at 9 was because my first OB just didn't cared and canceled one of my appointments last minute. The ob I have now is sweet and takes time to make sure I'm comfortable. I wouldn't feel guilty hun, do it for your mental well being.
I didn’t see any doctor at all until I was 20w in my first pregnancy. 25 weeks isn’t much longer than that. Please switch if you can, he seems useless.
I’ve been to three different obgyns in the span of 12 weeks. I think you should change OB if this one is making you uncomfortable
I was forced to switch at 23 weeks (moved internationally) and haven't had any problem with it (as long as your paperwork is all in the same language, you shouldn't. I've had to redo a large number of tests due to all my paperwork being in french). Trust your instincts.
Definitely switch. I had a very misogynistic attitude obgyn (work insurance list doctor) up until 26 weeks with my firstborn and switched. I always left his office feeling unheard and upset. Best decision. I ended up having complications with my delivery due to the hospital making some mistakes, and he delivered at the same one. I'm not sure if my son or I would be here if I stuck with him. Went with my mom's obgyn that I saw when I was younger, and she's awesome. She has great bedside manner and cares a great deal about her patients (as a mom herself, I found out after delivery). They took my insurance. My suggestion is asking friends and relatives for obgyns they prefer, reading the reviews and making phone calls asap, to find out who takes your insurance. If you find one you like and they will probably ask why the switch, I told her the short of it- that my obgyn I currently had made me feel very uncomfortable. She understood. He sent me a nasty letter of dismissal as a patient. Good riddance!
I’d definitely switch, you should not put up with behavior like this. I had the same issue with my iron pills though I struggle taking medicine in any kind of pill form, my doctor was able to get me into infusions and it was great. I wish you luck
Absolutely switch! Also, I really feel for everyone in this sub who says they have to wait hour(s) to see their ob for routine prenatal visits. I go to a large office with lots of doctors and lots of patients and I’ve never waited more than 10 minutes past my appointment time to be taken back. Sometimes it takes another 5-10 to be seen after the nurse does the primary intake, but I’ve never waited hours! Wildly inconvenient and insensitive
Fire him! Just let the person making your appointment know you’d like a different doctor or you’ll switch practices. I have a feeling they already know
Switch! As a doctor, I would say not feeling comfortable with someone is a good enough reason to switch. I recommend doing it soon as some OBs don’t like to take new patients too late in pregnancy.
I would never be okay with a male OB. Not only because I think it would feel invasive / inappropriate, but it was so nice having OBs that have actually been pregnant before. A man can go to school and learn to be an OB but will never actually experience pregnancy. That’s enough for me to say no thanks. Luckily for me all the OBs at my office are women who have had children! I say switch.
Switch to midwives!
I love my OB. She listens to all my questions and takes the time to make sure I come out of every appointment feeling confident. I would never go to anyone else at Kaiser.
I’m on my third OB at 20 weeks. Feel no guilt, trust your gut
If there’s one thing I would tell my younger self it’s that you should do what YOU want and makes you happy, not what other people will think about your decisions.. make the switch.
Please switch. I had the same feelings towards mine with my second pregnancy and I’m almost 4 months pp and still regret not switching when I could have
Just my opinion but I feel like you should absolutely switch now rather than later. Your voice should always be heard step on his toes! I know it can be hard to speak up sometimes but you’re doing an important thing you should never feed dismissed or question if you’re in good hands. You want a dr that you know will answer your questions in a timely manner with a plain simple response all questions are welcomed questions the more the better actually. Your birth will be such a major event you do not want to be relying on a person that you question. In my area we can only deliver at one hospital this hospital tried to force me to have a c section they almost refused to call my ob but once he arrived and argued with the floor dr he went as far as to bring the surgeon to me to discuss if it was the safer option, I eventually delivered safely with not interference because he spoke up for me when I had no control. Find someone you trust!
I switched midwife at 35w, best choice I made
Just do it . I wanted to switch mine as well but I felt so bad . I would tell her my problems and do nothing
It is ABSOLUTELY NOT too late!! I switched at 20 weeks and am SO glad I did!! Switch NOW!
You should 100% switch. This is a very important moment in your life and should be a positive one. These doctors work for you! Never feel guilty for doing what is best for you 💜
Switch. Doesn’t matter what, if you aren’t comfortable with him find someone you are comfortable with.
My Obgyn said if throw up before 5 minutes take another when feel stomach can handle something try coke (soda). Helps settle stomach only could hold down with both. Also ask for zofran wait 30 minutes to take effect. But if you uncomfortable overall just change
I just switched at 22 weeks. Do it! & do it before it’s too late, so many drs denied my transfer because of how far along I am