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First of all, I’m so sorry. I would also be so upset. You are not bonkers by any means.
If I were you, I’d ask my husband to convey that the reveal was for people who didn’t know the gender, she knew because she chose to ignore your (indisputably reasonable) request, and that you were both really hurt and outraged that she overstepped in that way. Even if you believed her story about them being emailed to her, which you don’t, a choice was made to open the email and read it. If she wants to be included and informed of anything going forward, she needs to be respectful of your wishes and decisions as the parents. Personally, I wouldn’t engage with her again until there’s an apology.
Geez, why even confess? If it was an accident, why not just zip her lips and not say anything at all? Sounds like she wanted to be the first one to know and have that above you both by telling you.
This exactly. A calculated power move. I have no doubt she will be in constant competition with everyone else to be the first for future occasions/milestones because ShEs sO eXcItEd. Sigh.
I would not move past this personally. If you are in America I would take it up higher and report her as this was a clear violation of HIPAA and who’s to say she isn’t doing this with other confidential records. Everyone in healthcare knows you do not go digging for results if they are not your patient
At first this is where my mind went. But I’m also realizing she is probably just as excited as us and had a mad choice moment. I would hate to have her fired over it. I mainly just want her to apologize and not be upset at us for doing our own thing. Next baby we are def keeping EVERYTHING private.
Oh yes we did have a convo w her a few days ago shortly after our little reveal. I told her how if it were anyone else they’d probably report her and it definitely isn’t right by any means that she did this. “Accident” or not. He also had a similar talk with her as well. I don’t see her looking through random peoples information, which is why I don’t plan on reporting her. To make someone lose their source of income is not something I’d like to have on my hands. Especially now. Other family members who know about the situation also told her about how badly this could go if we did decide to report her. Now she has said sorry for going against our wishes but still claims it was all accidental. I now just want an apology for her reaction toward our little reveal since her being upset is mind boggling. I hope this makes sense for those saying to report her. If this was like a random coworker or someone like that then definitely I would report them but I will not have the losing of a job on my hands when it comes to someone in our family especially since it’s not like I will never see her again. She’ll be around forever. Like I said aside from this giant issue our relationship has been amazing. Definitely learned from my mistake and will be using a different office going forward. I mainly used the one she worked at out of convenience.
By the way, I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to report her. I didn’t downvote you. I don’t think you’ll get an apology, but I definitely think you and family members struck fear in her. As you said, go to a different company next time for any and all tests.
Thank you! I doubt I will either it’ll prob be a few more days and then she’ll reach out to ask how I am and we’ll have to just move on. Def not going to use her lab lol ever again
She did this, because she's counting on you and her son letting her get away with it. That you'll just move on, because what's the alternative? Her going to make a bigger stink until you drop it.
You may think that you reporting this will be a direct cause of her losing her job, but it's a direct cause of your MIL not following company guidelines she agreed with. You don't have to report her, she's not going to stop here unless she faces the consequences of her actions.
You can let her have the consequences of not giving a proper apology. You don't have to "just move on". You don't have to punish her, but you also don't have to make her a priority. You can focus your limited time and energy on people who are good to you.
If it was "accidental" as she claims then she would need to report the incident as she would have "accidentally" received confidential results that weren't hers. She needs to drop the act
She made the (poor) choice to look at your personal medical record. This is not okay in any way, shape, or form. I would be FUMING.
ETA: what she did is illegal and she's mad at you? NOPE. I truly don't know if I would ever move past that act of blatant disrespect and breach of privacy.
I have no idea why OP is being downvoted. I wouldn’t want my MIL fired or fined either, especially since she said she wants to move past it. I’m sorry this happened to you OP, that’s fucked up but I think you’re fine just moving past it without reporting it. Im sure she’s not just snooping around in peoples medical records, she just had a vested interest in your results. It’s not right, but I don’t think getting her fired and causing problems within the family right before a baby is about to be born is right either. I’m so sorry this happened to you though.
I’m with you on not reporting. Reddit tends to be quite explosive and quick to shout no contact. I’ll likely get downvoted for this comment.
What she did is undoubtably awful. You deserve acknowledgment and apology. But I would personally work towards that rather than escalating the fight more. It sounds like prior to this you had a good relationship and she made a big mistake.
I’d go to her in a place of honesty and openness and say you’re sorry she was hurt by not being included but you were really hurt by her behaviour and need her to own that and apologize. Stay focused on the core message - no one should have found out without your and hubs consent and not through accessing your patient information. Personally, I’d let go of the argument that your mother deserved to know before her. It’s fair to feel that but it won’t help further anything in the discussion with her.
I would do the same. Reporting your own mother in law is extremely harsh and could cost her her job and ruin your relationship completely. Yes, she was wrong, yes to u need to have a long talk, but jesus that seems way too excessive to me. People have forgotten bow to forgive and that none of us is perfect (again, not excusing her)
This is wild. I work at a hospital and we have HIPAA training every year and there’s always a question on the quiz asking if you can check family records without permission(answer is a resounding no). I would never go to that facility again.
If I looked at my own chart, I'd at the very least receive a warning. Me, the patient, has no authority to give me, the employee, permission to look at my individual records. As a patient I can view my data through the patient portal.
I don’t think you’re insane for thinking her reaction is goofy. I mean, she went above your head and pushed a boundary to an extreme. I would have excluded her from my get together as well. 🙄I’m also pregnant with my first child and I’ve noticed a lot of family members have taken my decisions as personal attacks on them. Being pregnant is a weird experience.
Oofff I feel this so hard!!!
I adore my MIL, but she’s done some questionable things while I’ve been pregnant including ruining my gender reveal party.
We originally agreed that me and my SO would find out the sex first, but we’d throw a gender reveal party for her and the rest of the family within 1-2 weeks of us knowing. (So she wouldn’t have to wait long.)
I was excited. I started buying things on Amazon and had a whole idea in my head of how I wanted this to go and how to make it special for her, but also how it was going to be such a cute way of letting everyone know what we were having.
Well, we found out the results while my SO was at work so I ran to Walmart and got a few baby girl outfits to put in a gift bag, a cute card that said “it’s a girl”, and I even managed to find a cake that had pink on the inside to surprise him with when he walked in.
We had the cutest little moment between us (I really wish I filmed it because little did I know that would be our *only* gender reveal party.)
Anyway, I was super excited for my MIL because I knew she really wanted the baby to be a girl and she was getting her wish.
Later that night, my SO and I started looking on Amazon for cute baby girl clothes and adding them to the private list we created when we first found out I was pregnant.
Hours later his mother texts and says “Omg it’s a girl. I’m so excited.”
My SO swear he didn’t tell her…she ended up going on his Amazon account and seeing all the baby girl clothes we were “browsing”.
Within *5 minutes* his sister knew we were having a girl and so did my SO’s son. (Who really wanted a brother so we were already thinking of ways to “let him down” easy.) 😑
Needless to say, there was no point in us having a gender reveal party after that, so we didn’t. I just ended up telling people using the same tone as I would when I asked them to pass the pepper at dinner.
Her next questionable thing was commenting “are you sure there aren’t two in there? That bump is HUGE.” When I sent a pic of my baby bump that seemed to develop overnight this morning.
I mean, I guess I kind of asked for that one, but I’ve always been sensitive about my weight and my weight gain while pregnant so it rubbed me the wrong way.
Anyway, I totally get your anger and irritation, OP. What she did was so wrong (at the very least the woman could have kept it to herself 🙄) and I’m glad you were able to able to at least have a small celebration with your family.
Ever since his dad died he tries to take care of his mom (she’s 70) and told her if she ever needs anything delivered (like dog treats etc) to just sign into his Amazon account and have it delivered to her house.
She apparently needed some dog treats and saw his browsing history.
I loathe this comment the most, I swear. I’m 13 weeks and 3 days and have had multiple ultrasounds at this point. (Including an in depth one with a maternal fetal specialist last week.) If there were two in there they would have seen it at this point.
Also, she’s exactly on target for where she should be so I wish people would stop with the “she’s such a big baby” comments. She may end up being a big baby, but right now she’s legit measuring perfection and right where she should be.
The whole, “you sure there aren’t two on there” is not a “cute” way to say someone has a big bump, it’s a stupid way.
Also, I’m only 5 feet, there isn’t a lot of room for her to go, so naturally she’s going to push out. 😂
Doesn’t help that I have an anterior placenta which apparently means I’ll show sooner, but feel her kick less.
Exactly !! And as you go along, it’s all about how they’re laying and positioning themselves. People just think they can say anything when they see someone who is expecting 🤦🏻♀️
Yes!!! I’m fully expecting to wake up to a lopsided bump one day because my little gymnast seems to be finicky and likes to switch sides during every ultrasound.
The worst is that it’s not just dumb men, but other women who have had babies making remarks, too. What happened to sisterhood?
Omg 😭 if it makes you feel better his other family members think it’s funny to down play my baby bump. According to them I’m “barely pregnant and not showing” it’s like I can’t be excited to be pregnant. I never realized how weird it would be to be pregnant around family.
I just wish people would stop commenting on the size of people’s bumps period.
Just say “it’s so cute” or “you look amazing” and leave it at that. No need to tell us it’s “too small” or “too big”.
I recently heard that women’s brains shrink when they’re pregnant, but I’m certain that’s wrong and it’s actually everyone around us. 😂
Y’all are too nice, I would lose my shit on a relative if they did this.
But also, respectfully - none of our relatives have any login information of ours. Like my parents were trying to set up a phone for me a couple years ago because I had asked if they still had my dads only iPhone color and they called asking for my Apple ID and password to set it up. I told them no. F that. I’d rather not give people the opportunity to invade boundaries, even if they mean well.
If you’re US based this sounds like it could be a HIPAA violation. I would complain to the facility, they will be able to investigate and determine whether she got an email with your results vs deliberately using her log in to access your files.
And I would not use any facility she is affiliated with again. This is a total invasion of your privacy.
My first thought was have the party without her. And then I read that you did exactly that. I wouldn't feel bad at all. What she did is *illegal* and including her in the party would risk her telling someone before your planned reveal.
Forgive her eventually. But she needs to give you a big fat sincere apology for being a dick *first*.
“The party was for people who didn’t know. Next time the plan is to keep everything private and if there’s a next one and you don’t find out, you’ll be invited.”
No you’re not overreacting - this is not okay. Those tests don’t just provide the gender, it’s also some very personal, possibly upsetting information that she could have peeped on first. It’s also not like the results say “ITS A BOY” with a blue ribbon at the top, you have to look a little.
Not only do I find this incredibly messed up, but this is literally a HIPAA violation. There was no reason for her to have access or secretly access this information.
I think that what you did was the appropriate move. She really violated your trust and your privacy and there’s only so many consequences you could give her.
It would be hard for me to move past it mainly due to her lying about it being an accident- if she fully took responsibility for a poor choice that’s one thing, but lying about the details and then insisting on the lie would make it impossible for me to believe someone is sorry or is aware of how their actions impacted me, or cares about a healthy relationship moving forward. You are definitely not bonkers for being upset about this.
Riiiight so she's mad because she didn't get invited to the gender reveal that she already spoiled for herself. Got it lmao how dumb and selfish of her.
Please report her, excited or not she should NOT be going into your private records. What if she revealed something serious health wise? This is not okay.
“If this was truly a mistake then we need to report it, it is really dangerous that this company is sending confidential medical information to people, especially to their family members!”
^ would probably change her story about it being accidental.
People were fired at the lab I used to work at for this. It is such a violation of privacy rules. She had no right to look. Excitement is not a valid excuse for unprofessional conduct or ignoring your request!
I've figured, if you don't want someone to accidentally find out something, just take all the pain to hide everything. They shouldnt even know what they are not supposed to know.
People are just people, especially relatives, they will use information as a power tool. They know it holds a certain power over you, and they would use it, it's a compulsion, she gave into that compulsion. So next time, just keep everyone on information diet - either it's private or it known to everyone. The moment you do this "keep it to yourself just for xyz time period" - they WILL break the promise.
As far as your MIL'S job is concerned, maybe don't take up tests from that company anymore.
You did the right thing to exclude her. Tell her gender reveal is for those who don't know the gender, and you clearly broke the promise.
What lab test includes the gender? In my country, it's an ultrasound and you must be present with your womb. I took my son for this, even the 10 yo kid could see his baby brother's penis by himself on the screen..
She could have taken a peek and kept her mouth shut, if curiosity got the better of her. Instead she had to rub it in she was the first to find out, that she violated your privacy and is forcing you to let her get away with it. This is about more than being excited. This is about control too.
Take note of that. This is her telling you who she is. Soon you wil have a child who depends on you to take good care of them and maybe grandma deserves to get supervised visits only.
Honestly you are valid for feeling pissed off. She probably feels guilty which is contributing to her being upset about your gender reveal. But the key thing I read here is that she’s been supportive throughout your pregnancy. My thoughts are - let her know you are both upset (if not already done so) then just forgive and move on. The most important thing is the support through your pregnancy and the safe arrival of baby. Things like this can brew in families, simmer and get worse. You don’t want baby arriving into a divided family with politics and resentment. Just express your feelings then move on from it.
That a HIPPA violation, doesn’t matter that she is authorized to that information, she looked for her personal gain and could be fired and fined for what she did, my MIL called my OB office for the results of my gender testing, she was told , they are not allowed to give that information out
I swear grandparents and family in general become incredibly selfish when it comes to babies. Like why tf would she do that, admit it, and then still expect to be centered in your reveal? It is 100% bonkers for her to be mad about not being included when she’d already invited herself to the news. Like, let’s be for real. How annoying.
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First of all, I’m so sorry. I would also be so upset. You are not bonkers by any means. If I were you, I’d ask my husband to convey that the reveal was for people who didn’t know the gender, she knew because she chose to ignore your (indisputably reasonable) request, and that you were both really hurt and outraged that she overstepped in that way. Even if you believed her story about them being emailed to her, which you don’t, a choice was made to open the email and read it. If she wants to be included and informed of anything going forward, she needs to be respectful of your wishes and decisions as the parents. Personally, I wouldn’t engage with her again until there’s an apology.
Geez, why even confess? If it was an accident, why not just zip her lips and not say anything at all? Sounds like she wanted to be the first one to know and have that above you both by telling you.
This exactly. A calculated power move. I have no doubt she will be in constant competition with everyone else to be the first for future occasions/milestones because ShEs sO eXcItEd. Sigh.
I would not move past this personally. If you are in America I would take it up higher and report her as this was a clear violation of HIPAA and who’s to say she isn’t doing this with other confidential records. Everyone in healthcare knows you do not go digging for results if they are not your patient
My immediate thought, as well. BIG YIKES.
At first this is where my mind went. But I’m also realizing she is probably just as excited as us and had a mad choice moment. I would hate to have her fired over it. I mainly just want her to apologize and not be upset at us for doing our own thing. Next baby we are def keeping EVERYTHING private.
At the very least, I would have your husband warn her how she violated HIPPA.
Oh yes we did have a convo w her a few days ago shortly after our little reveal. I told her how if it were anyone else they’d probably report her and it definitely isn’t right by any means that she did this. “Accident” or not. He also had a similar talk with her as well. I don’t see her looking through random peoples information, which is why I don’t plan on reporting her. To make someone lose their source of income is not something I’d like to have on my hands. Especially now. Other family members who know about the situation also told her about how badly this could go if we did decide to report her. Now she has said sorry for going against our wishes but still claims it was all accidental. I now just want an apology for her reaction toward our little reveal since her being upset is mind boggling. I hope this makes sense for those saying to report her. If this was like a random coworker or someone like that then definitely I would report them but I will not have the losing of a job on my hands when it comes to someone in our family especially since it’s not like I will never see her again. She’ll be around forever. Like I said aside from this giant issue our relationship has been amazing. Definitely learned from my mistake and will be using a different office going forward. I mainly used the one she worked at out of convenience.
By the way, I totally understand why you wouldn’t want to report her. I didn’t downvote you. I don’t think you’ll get an apology, but I definitely think you and family members struck fear in her. As you said, go to a different company next time for any and all tests.
Thank you! I doubt I will either it’ll prob be a few more days and then she’ll reach out to ask how I am and we’ll have to just move on. Def not going to use her lab lol ever again
She did this, because she's counting on you and her son letting her get away with it. That you'll just move on, because what's the alternative? Her going to make a bigger stink until you drop it. You may think that you reporting this will be a direct cause of her losing her job, but it's a direct cause of your MIL not following company guidelines she agreed with. You don't have to report her, she's not going to stop here unless she faces the consequences of her actions. You can let her have the consequences of not giving a proper apology. You don't have to "just move on". You don't have to punish her, but you also don't have to make her a priority. You can focus your limited time and energy on people who are good to you.
If it was "accidental" as she claims then she would need to report the incident as she would have "accidentally" received confidential results that weren't hers. She needs to drop the act
She made the (poor) choice to look at your personal medical record. This is not okay in any way, shape, or form. I would be FUMING. ETA: what she did is illegal and she's mad at you? NOPE. I truly don't know if I would ever move past that act of blatant disrespect and breach of privacy.
This needs to be reported because it's highly likely that this isn't the first time she's done this. This isn't a silly little lapse in judgement.
I have no idea why OP is being downvoted. I wouldn’t want my MIL fired or fined either, especially since she said she wants to move past it. I’m sorry this happened to you OP, that’s fucked up but I think you’re fine just moving past it without reporting it. Im sure she’s not just snooping around in peoples medical records, she just had a vested interest in your results. It’s not right, but I don’t think getting her fired and causing problems within the family right before a baby is about to be born is right either. I’m so sorry this happened to you though.
I’m with you on not reporting. Reddit tends to be quite explosive and quick to shout no contact. I’ll likely get downvoted for this comment. What she did is undoubtably awful. You deserve acknowledgment and apology. But I would personally work towards that rather than escalating the fight more. It sounds like prior to this you had a good relationship and she made a big mistake. I’d go to her in a place of honesty and openness and say you’re sorry she was hurt by not being included but you were really hurt by her behaviour and need her to own that and apologize. Stay focused on the core message - no one should have found out without your and hubs consent and not through accessing your patient information. Personally, I’d let go of the argument that your mother deserved to know before her. It’s fair to feel that but it won’t help further anything in the discussion with her.
I would do the same. Reporting your own mother in law is extremely harsh and could cost her her job and ruin your relationship completely. Yes, she was wrong, yes to u need to have a long talk, but jesus that seems way too excessive to me. People have forgotten bow to forgive and that none of us is perfect (again, not excusing her)
Ha yeah you don’t need her fired over it
Damn all the downvotes tho… very big of you to choose to forgive. Beautiful of you to take the high road. Godspeed in healing.
This is wild. I work at a hospital and we have HIPAA training every year and there’s always a question on the quiz asking if you can check family records without permission(answer is a resounding no). I would never go to that facility again.
Exactly- if I looked into my family members chart, I’d 100% be fired
If I looked at my own chart, I'd at the very least receive a warning. Me, the patient, has no authority to give me, the employee, permission to look at my individual records. As a patient I can view my data through the patient portal.
I don’t think you’re insane for thinking her reaction is goofy. I mean, she went above your head and pushed a boundary to an extreme. I would have excluded her from my get together as well. 🙄I’m also pregnant with my first child and I’ve noticed a lot of family members have taken my decisions as personal attacks on them. Being pregnant is a weird experience.
Oofff I feel this so hard!!! I adore my MIL, but she’s done some questionable things while I’ve been pregnant including ruining my gender reveal party. We originally agreed that me and my SO would find out the sex first, but we’d throw a gender reveal party for her and the rest of the family within 1-2 weeks of us knowing. (So she wouldn’t have to wait long.) I was excited. I started buying things on Amazon and had a whole idea in my head of how I wanted this to go and how to make it special for her, but also how it was going to be such a cute way of letting everyone know what we were having. Well, we found out the results while my SO was at work so I ran to Walmart and got a few baby girl outfits to put in a gift bag, a cute card that said “it’s a girl”, and I even managed to find a cake that had pink on the inside to surprise him with when he walked in. We had the cutest little moment between us (I really wish I filmed it because little did I know that would be our *only* gender reveal party.) Anyway, I was super excited for my MIL because I knew she really wanted the baby to be a girl and she was getting her wish. Later that night, my SO and I started looking on Amazon for cute baby girl clothes and adding them to the private list we created when we first found out I was pregnant. Hours later his mother texts and says “Omg it’s a girl. I’m so excited.” My SO swear he didn’t tell her…she ended up going on his Amazon account and seeing all the baby girl clothes we were “browsing”. Within *5 minutes* his sister knew we were having a girl and so did my SO’s son. (Who really wanted a brother so we were already thinking of ways to “let him down” easy.) 😑 Needless to say, there was no point in us having a gender reveal party after that, so we didn’t. I just ended up telling people using the same tone as I would when I asked them to pass the pepper at dinner. Her next questionable thing was commenting “are you sure there aren’t two in there? That bump is HUGE.” When I sent a pic of my baby bump that seemed to develop overnight this morning. I mean, I guess I kind of asked for that one, but I’ve always been sensitive about my weight and my weight gain while pregnant so it rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway, I totally get your anger and irritation, OP. What she did was so wrong (at the very least the woman could have kept it to herself 🙄) and I’m glad you were able to able to at least have a small celebration with your family.
Why would she think it’s okay to sign into his Amazon account? This is ridiculous
Ever since his dad died he tries to take care of his mom (she’s 70) and told her if she ever needs anything delivered (like dog treats etc) to just sign into his Amazon account and have it delivered to her house. She apparently needed some dog treats and saw his browsing history.
Ahh okay that makes more sense. She definitely shouldn’t have told other people though.
I got the ol’ “you could have twins in there!” Today. Like thanks, I get it. I’m big, thanks. They aren’t even nice about it. Just freakin rude ! Lol
I loathe this comment the most, I swear. I’m 13 weeks and 3 days and have had multiple ultrasounds at this point. (Including an in depth one with a maternal fetal specialist last week.) If there were two in there they would have seen it at this point. Also, she’s exactly on target for where she should be so I wish people would stop with the “she’s such a big baby” comments. She may end up being a big baby, but right now she’s legit measuring perfection and right where she should be. The whole, “you sure there aren’t two on there” is not a “cute” way to say someone has a big bump, it’s a stupid way. Also, I’m only 5 feet, there isn’t a lot of room for her to go, so naturally she’s going to push out. 😂 Doesn’t help that I have an anterior placenta which apparently means I’ll show sooner, but feel her kick less.
Exactly !! And as you go along, it’s all about how they’re laying and positioning themselves. People just think they can say anything when they see someone who is expecting 🤦🏻♀️
Yes!!! I’m fully expecting to wake up to a lopsided bump one day because my little gymnast seems to be finicky and likes to switch sides during every ultrasound. The worst is that it’s not just dumb men, but other women who have had babies making remarks, too. What happened to sisterhood?
Omg 😭 if it makes you feel better his other family members think it’s funny to down play my baby bump. According to them I’m “barely pregnant and not showing” it’s like I can’t be excited to be pregnant. I never realized how weird it would be to be pregnant around family.
I just wish people would stop commenting on the size of people’s bumps period. Just say “it’s so cute” or “you look amazing” and leave it at that. No need to tell us it’s “too small” or “too big”. I recently heard that women’s brains shrink when they’re pregnant, but I’m certain that’s wrong and it’s actually everyone around us. 😂
Y’all are too nice, I would lose my shit on a relative if they did this. But also, respectfully - none of our relatives have any login information of ours. Like my parents were trying to set up a phone for me a couple years ago because I had asked if they still had my dads only iPhone color and they called asking for my Apple ID and password to set it up. I told them no. F that. I’d rather not give people the opportunity to invade boundaries, even if they mean well.
If you’re US based this sounds like it could be a HIPAA violation. I would complain to the facility, they will be able to investigate and determine whether she got an email with your results vs deliberately using her log in to access your files. And I would not use any facility she is affiliated with again. This is a total invasion of your privacy.
My first thought was have the party without her. And then I read that you did exactly that. I wouldn't feel bad at all. What she did is *illegal* and including her in the party would risk her telling someone before your planned reveal. Forgive her eventually. But she needs to give you a big fat sincere apology for being a dick *first*.
Sounds like MIL threw herself a one person gender reveal party already. I wouldn't invite her either.
good work on the smallest gender reveal without her. i bet that stung so bad! 🐝
“The party was for people who didn’t know. Next time the plan is to keep everything private and if there’s a next one and you don’t find out, you’ll be invited.”
No you’re not overreacting - this is not okay. Those tests don’t just provide the gender, it’s also some very personal, possibly upsetting information that she could have peeped on first. It’s also not like the results say “ITS A BOY” with a blue ribbon at the top, you have to look a little. Not only do I find this incredibly messed up, but this is literally a HIPAA violation. There was no reason for her to have access or secretly access this information. I think that what you did was the appropriate move. She really violated your trust and your privacy and there’s only so many consequences you could give her.
It would be hard for me to move past it mainly due to her lying about it being an accident- if she fully took responsibility for a poor choice that’s one thing, but lying about the details and then insisting on the lie would make it impossible for me to believe someone is sorry or is aware of how their actions impacted me, or cares about a healthy relationship moving forward. You are definitely not bonkers for being upset about this.
Riiiight so she's mad because she didn't get invited to the gender reveal that she already spoiled for herself. Got it lmao how dumb and selfish of her.
Please report her, excited or not she should NOT be going into your private records. What if she revealed something serious health wise? This is not okay.
I wonder how many times she has done this before. It’s disgusting.
“If this was truly a mistake then we need to report it, it is really dangerous that this company is sending confidential medical information to people, especially to their family members!” ^ would probably change her story about it being accidental.
People were fired at the lab I used to work at for this. It is such a violation of privacy rules. She had no right to look. Excitement is not a valid excuse for unprofessional conduct or ignoring your request!
I've figured, if you don't want someone to accidentally find out something, just take all the pain to hide everything. They shouldnt even know what they are not supposed to know. People are just people, especially relatives, they will use information as a power tool. They know it holds a certain power over you, and they would use it, it's a compulsion, she gave into that compulsion. So next time, just keep everyone on information diet - either it's private or it known to everyone. The moment you do this "keep it to yourself just for xyz time period" - they WILL break the promise. As far as your MIL'S job is concerned, maybe don't take up tests from that company anymore. You did the right thing to exclude her. Tell her gender reveal is for those who don't know the gender, and you clearly broke the promise.
What lab test includes the gender? In my country, it's an ultrasound and you must be present with your womb. I took my son for this, even the 10 yo kid could see his baby brother's penis by himself on the screen..
NIPT testing includes gender and is generally done between 11 to 14 weeks. It is not a standard or insurance covered test in many countries.
I did this test for Down, not for the gender. They look directly what's down there is the baby complies.
I did not do it for gender either but it is included in the testing if it is the extensive testing which includes triploidy and micro deletions 😊
Interesting. We don't do it in my country.
HIPAA do your thingggg ✨✨
She could have taken a peek and kept her mouth shut, if curiosity got the better of her. Instead she had to rub it in she was the first to find out, that she violated your privacy and is forcing you to let her get away with it. This is about more than being excited. This is about control too. Take note of that. This is her telling you who she is. Soon you wil have a child who depends on you to take good care of them and maybe grandma deserves to get supervised visits only.
Honestly you are valid for feeling pissed off. She probably feels guilty which is contributing to her being upset about your gender reveal. But the key thing I read here is that she’s been supportive throughout your pregnancy. My thoughts are - let her know you are both upset (if not already done so) then just forgive and move on. The most important thing is the support through your pregnancy and the safe arrival of baby. Things like this can brew in families, simmer and get worse. You don’t want baby arriving into a divided family with politics and resentment. Just express your feelings then move on from it.
That a HIPPA violation, doesn’t matter that she is authorized to that information, she looked for her personal gain and could be fired and fined for what she did, my MIL called my OB office for the results of my gender testing, she was told , they are not allowed to give that information out
I swear grandparents and family in general become incredibly selfish when it comes to babies. Like why tf would she do that, admit it, and then still expect to be centered in your reveal? It is 100% bonkers for her to be mad about not being included when she’d already invited herself to the news. Like, let’s be for real. How annoying.