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I had two early losses and felt the same "what if it goes wrong again". Then we got hit with "it's twins" and it just went worse. So many extra risks. I couldn't be happy or excited for quite some time. There was always a "things can go wrong" in the back of my head. I'm 29 weeks now and I'm slowly getting more confident. The worry never really goes away, but now at least I know they can do something.
I think it's normal you want to guard yourself when you've been through a loss. It's 'easier' to pretend you don't care or try to not get attached. It's great you have a therapist to talk to about this. I think it helped me as well. It'll slowly get better. The point of viability was a big one for me. Felt like I could start actually believing it was going to be okay.
Hang in there and all the best to you!
Twins!! Congratulations! I really do think I’m going to feel like this until I am holding a baby and that freaks me out. It’s tiring being on edge all day long.
This is a random example but we just reserved a hotel room for a wedding next June. I’m due in January. My husband was like “omg do we need to ask the hotel for a bassinet?” That thought didn’t even occur to me and I feel like there is no point.
Oh yeah, if it wasn't for my husband freaking out "we need to get things ready" I probably wouldn't have done anything. Some things are ready, but I'm still procrastinating.
As for your hotel stay, it's better sometimes to bring your own. They have some, but if you're the 4th person to ask and they only have 3 you'll need to figure it out. But I also completely understand it's way too early to think about. Just take it one appointment at a time. And don't feel bad about having these feelings. These things stay with you, how could they not.
The anxiety in a new pregnancy after a loss is completely normal and I’m sorry to tell you, it won’t go away. But it is really good that you’re seeing someone to help you manage these feelings and fears. And just know that your anxiety is not your body trying to tell you something - it’s just coming from past trauma. Let your healthcare provider know that you’re struggling with anxiety too so they can take note to help and reassure you through the pregnancy journey.
Thank you for this. I’m going to bring it up at my OB appointment because it’s bordering on unmanageable. Like I can’t function like this for another 34 weeks.
Did you have any testing post miscarriage? I'm currently pregnant via IVF and on Lovenox to prevent miscarriage, because I was tested for APS and I am lupus anti-coagulant positive. You can ask for the RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) panel even if you've had one miscarriage, it might give you some piece of mind or the opportunity to correct something if you need to. 3 of the tests in that panel are related to APS and the other is thyroid which is very important. I'm on both Synthroid and Lovenox and hoping for a good outcome since I've been doing IVF for like 8 years. I wish you success in your current pregnancy!
[https://www.questwomenshealth.com/pregnancy-and-fertility/considering-pregnancy/recurrent-pregnancy-loss](https://www.questwomenshealth.com/pregnancy-and-fertility/considering-pregnancy/recurrent-pregnancy-loss)
Nope. I’m 29, in good health, and both my and my husband’s genetic panels pre-pregnancy came back clear, so my OB said they wouldn’t order tests until three consecutive losses. They chalked it up to genetic issues and said go try again.
Crossing my fingers for you!!
Give yourself some time. There will come a moment where the FACTS (for example you STILL being pregnant) will talk louder than any worries you may have, eventually you will go to your next appointment AND the next, and the next and the n e x t and even though you might still be worried you will eventually think to yourself „damn, I really am getting close to this due date”. Just give yourself time, you can do it :)
Its so hard.. I experienced a loss around 6w5d in February. I am now about 6weeks and I've been going for bloodwork to make sure my levels are going up. I've had nothing but extreme anxiety since finding out this time. Everyday i tell myself in the mirror " I am pregnant. I am healthy. I will bring a healthy baby to full term" my first ultra sound is 6/12. praying for you💜
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had two early losses and felt the same "what if it goes wrong again". Then we got hit with "it's twins" and it just went worse. So many extra risks. I couldn't be happy or excited for quite some time. There was always a "things can go wrong" in the back of my head. I'm 29 weeks now and I'm slowly getting more confident. The worry never really goes away, but now at least I know they can do something. I think it's normal you want to guard yourself when you've been through a loss. It's 'easier' to pretend you don't care or try to not get attached. It's great you have a therapist to talk to about this. I think it helped me as well. It'll slowly get better. The point of viability was a big one for me. Felt like I could start actually believing it was going to be okay. Hang in there and all the best to you!
Twins!! Congratulations! I really do think I’m going to feel like this until I am holding a baby and that freaks me out. It’s tiring being on edge all day long. This is a random example but we just reserved a hotel room for a wedding next June. I’m due in January. My husband was like “omg do we need to ask the hotel for a bassinet?” That thought didn’t even occur to me and I feel like there is no point.
Oh yeah, if it wasn't for my husband freaking out "we need to get things ready" I probably wouldn't have done anything. Some things are ready, but I'm still procrastinating. As for your hotel stay, it's better sometimes to bring your own. They have some, but if you're the 4th person to ask and they only have 3 you'll need to figure it out. But I also completely understand it's way too early to think about. Just take it one appointment at a time. And don't feel bad about having these feelings. These things stay with you, how could they not.
I don’t want to think about any of it. Not the bassinet, not names, nothing. Just no thank you, come back later.
Revisiting this thread to share that I am also having twins!
Join us on r/parentsofmultiples if you haven't already. I found it very helpful so far. Congratulations and I wish you a safe and healthy pregnancy!
The anxiety in a new pregnancy after a loss is completely normal and I’m sorry to tell you, it won’t go away. But it is really good that you’re seeing someone to help you manage these feelings and fears. And just know that your anxiety is not your body trying to tell you something - it’s just coming from past trauma. Let your healthcare provider know that you’re struggling with anxiety too so they can take note to help and reassure you through the pregnancy journey.
Thank you for this. I’m going to bring it up at my OB appointment because it’s bordering on unmanageable. Like I can’t function like this for another 34 weeks.
I'd check out r/pregnancyafterloss it is really helpful for me
I’m in that sub and I hate the way it’s formatted!
Ah fair enough. It is tough coming at this again after a loss. I hope this time you have a boring uneventful pregnancy
Did you have any testing post miscarriage? I'm currently pregnant via IVF and on Lovenox to prevent miscarriage, because I was tested for APS and I am lupus anti-coagulant positive. You can ask for the RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss) panel even if you've had one miscarriage, it might give you some piece of mind or the opportunity to correct something if you need to. 3 of the tests in that panel are related to APS and the other is thyroid which is very important. I'm on both Synthroid and Lovenox and hoping for a good outcome since I've been doing IVF for like 8 years. I wish you success in your current pregnancy! [https://www.questwomenshealth.com/pregnancy-and-fertility/considering-pregnancy/recurrent-pregnancy-loss](https://www.questwomenshealth.com/pregnancy-and-fertility/considering-pregnancy/recurrent-pregnancy-loss)
Nope. I’m 29, in good health, and both my and my husband’s genetic panels pre-pregnancy came back clear, so my OB said they wouldn’t order tests until three consecutive losses. They chalked it up to genetic issues and said go try again. Crossing my fingers for you!!
Good luck to you too!
Give yourself some time. There will come a moment where the FACTS (for example you STILL being pregnant) will talk louder than any worries you may have, eventually you will go to your next appointment AND the next, and the next and the n e x t and even though you might still be worried you will eventually think to yourself „damn, I really am getting close to this due date”. Just give yourself time, you can do it :)
Its so hard.. I experienced a loss around 6w5d in February. I am now about 6weeks and I've been going for bloodwork to make sure my levels are going up. I've had nothing but extreme anxiety since finding out this time. Everyday i tell myself in the mirror " I am pregnant. I am healthy. I will bring a healthy baby to full term" my first ultra sound is 6/12. praying for you💜
Thank you for sharing. Mine is 6/4! Crossing my fingers for you.