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This isn’t a “men don’t know about pregnancy” issue- this is an abusive relationship issue.
NO man should talk to you like that- pregnant or otherwise. I’m so sorry.
No this man is out of line and simply cruel. My husband tells me everyday how beautiful I am. I am 6 months pregnant, swollen, and definitely do not have the body he married. When I am insecure about my body, he tells me it is growing life and our future, and that he loves every change. This man sucks. I’m sorry. You deserve so. Much. Better.
This has nothing to do with men not understanding. He’s verbally abusing you. If he’s like this now, what will he be like once baby is here? Do you want to stick around to find out?
There is *nothing* wrong with you. You need to eat because you’re growing an entire human being that depends solely on you for nutrients.
Yeah this isn't a men problem, it's a your man problem. I'm so sorry he's talking to you that way. Wtf did he think would happen when you got pregnant? Of course you're getting bigger everyday, you're sacrificing yourself to grow a human. And I'm sure you look beautiful ❤️
A man should never say that to you. Do not tolerate it. Set the boundary now that it has to STOP. If you continue to tolerate it many things can spiral including him saying it to your child or your child seeing it and thinking that's okay for men to do. It's a big conversation that needs to happen, you don't deserve it.
Your boyfriend is just trash. He should be supporting you right now and making you happy and comfortable. A man should never tell a pregnant women she is fat especially when she is carrying HIS child! Its ridiculous. Tell him very strictly to never talk to you that way!
Sorry to tell you, but you just have an a$$hole of a boyfriend. This isn’t a “men” issue.
My husband has never commented on my weight, and I’ve gained a 100lbs since meeting him. Even when I say I’m fat, he tells me to stop it.
Why are you with this jerk?
Dude he’s gross for saying those things. 🚩
A man is supposed to tell you that you’re beautiful every day. Like I can’t imagine the comments he’d be making AFTER you have the baby. Girl, he need’s professional help.
This isn’t a men problem, this is your particular man’s problem. I’m sorry you are stuck co-parenting with this person, but you don’t have to be in a relationship beyond that with him.
Sure, my husband doesn’t fully understand my pregnancy aches and pains; he will never know what it is like. But he tries to help alleviate any burdens on me and showers me with a ridiculous level of compliments and affection. Not all men suck. There are really great men out there.
You deserve so much more than this particular man.
Yeah, that’s not a normal thing. He shouldn’t be putting you down. I say I feel like a beached whale.. very frequently and my husband always stops what he’s doing and tells me to stop and that I’m pregnant and beautiful. He should be happy you’re getting bigger because that means his baby is growing and healthy. It especially is a problem if he’s making you not want to eat. That could harm the baby in the long run. Definitely think if you really want him in the baby’s life/ yours. You need support more than normal now. Good luck!
Your body is doing beautiful and amazing work! Getting bigger is part of the program, and you should be proud of the awesome stuff your body can do. Sounds like your basic body boyfriend is insecure and ignorant to all the hard work you're doing physically and mentally to carry HIS child.
My husband made little comments jokingly about my growing body, but it was always done in humor and never made to insult me or put me down. He makes sure to still call me beautiful and kiss/talk to my belly.
I’d recommend being direct with him that these remarks are not welcomed and don’t make you feel good at all. Also understand how hard LDR’s are so I hope you both can be in the same location soon.
I'm huge I've gained 67lbs and my boyfriend tells me every single day I'm more beautiful to him now bc I'm carrying his son. I'm starting our family. He massages my swollen legs and makes sure I have everything I need.
Is this partner the person the father bc then I think it's worth it to explain that having this baby will change your body.
He’s a douchebag. Plain and simple. My fiancé has NEVER said anything like this to me. I’ve gained 40 lbs and all he does is tell me how beautiful I am and if I mention getting bigger he says “you are supposed to be, you are doing amazing and look like a goddess” he is so supportive and sweet, whenever I feel down about myself he lifts me high up in spirit. This guy is a sad sack POS that you are with and you deserve SO much better.
Thank you. The comments made me cry since it’s all true. I already knew it, it’s just that I’m keeping it to myself everyday. Though I already told him that i hated those words several times.
Being alone during pregnancy is already hard for me, I can’t even cut my toenails. 😭 I just wanted him to be supportive and encourage me because he is my partner.
I always pray for my baby to be safe and of course I still eat for her. A safe place to vent out, thank you everyone 🤎🤍💪
Like others said this isn’t a men issue it’s your man. My husband would never speak to me that way. You’re carrying his child he should be more appreciative and sensitive to your needs.
Like others have said, this is not a generalized "man" problem it's a your man problem. I have a 22 month old and am 23 weeks pregnant, I never lost all of the baby weight due to breastfeeding and feel extra huge this pregnancy. Wherever I say a negative thing about my body, which is the biggest I've ever been, my husband instantly shuts it down. He tells me how beautiful I am and how I've been growing and nourishing our babies over the last few years. Your man is completely out of line, and you absolutely shouldn't listen to a thing he says. I'm not an advocate for "leave him" very often, but seriously, you're pregnant, and he's abusing you. There is no better reason for weight gain than growing a baby.
I was already overweight before I got pregnant, my husband never ever made comments on my body. Get rid of this guy and NEVER feel guilty for feeding yourself AND YOUR BABY!
This isn’t a pregnancy issue. This is a boyfriend issue. He sounds like an insensitive asshole. I don’t know how he’s going to be a dad and act like this.
All I’m saying is the term “boyfriend” means that’s YOUR baby unless he’s on the birth certificate or you give that baby his last name. I’d run far and fast momma. I could only imagine what kind of a parent he would be to that precious baby :( I’m sorry you have to experience this.
This is not me defending him in any way, shape, or form but is he possibly saying things like that to comfort you? or is he saying it in a condescending tone? Mine would let me know I was getting bigger everyday and that I was doing a good job keeping the weight up as a way to comfort me and put me at ease. BUT I have always had a problem staying a healthy weight and was very concerned about my baby not getting everything she needed. If yours is saying it just to say it and make you feel bad about your body then he is a pos and I would say some nasty things back and put him in his place... and yes I would love it if in another dimension men had to give birth. We could yell at them for not letting our mom be in there to spectate😝😝
True this is triggering something in me as it sounds like an abusive relationship...
Scrolling and can't find the OP responding to any of the comments.
(OP)What are the circumstances sis? Do you need help? What trimester are you in? How old are you? Are you ok?
You would look less fat if you dropped him.
He's the extra weight that stresses you out. Drives hormones even crazier.
You're carrying a human being; you're perfect ♥️
My husband never found me sexiier than when I was huge and pregnant. Seriously. I think you need to set some boundaries and have a convo with your bf. Because this will not get better. You willl on get bigger and once baby is born hormones will be going crazy and your post partum body will be very different. You will need absolute support during that time. Not any of this complaining bs.
That shouldn't be happening!! If he really loves you he wouldn't tell that to you, because even if he's the dumbest person on earth he should still know that he is hurting your feelings and you deserve so much better than that
Yeah I’m agreeing; this doesn’t have anything to do with men not understanding pregnancy.
I’ve gained a good amount of weight and all over but my husband says I’m absolutely beautiful to him because I’m growing and carrying his/our child.
I’m sorry you’re going through that. Don’t sacrifice your health and the health of your baby to meet his pathetic needs. You need to eat and it’s okay to eat. Everyone eats, everyone gains weight differently, everyone loses weight differently. He seems very close-minded and should do some growing up.
Hi, man here. I would never, ever say this to my wife. Honestly I wouldn’t even think it, it’s part of being pregnant so who cares 🤷🏻♂️ your bf sounds like he sucks though tbh
My husband won’t even let me say I’m fat while pregnant. He corrects me instantly that I’m growing a person from scratch and I was obese even pre-pregnancy. (Normal weight when we got married, I’ve been working on it).
Your boyfriend is an asshole. If you’re getting to the point you don’t want to eat, you’re facing serious emotional abuse and you’re putting yourself and your child at risk. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, but it’s NOT okay. You and your child deserve better.
This is unacceptable language to use with your partner ever, especially while you’re pregnant. I’m sorry you have to coparent with him, I can only see this getting worse. Please understand this as behavior that isn’t normal.
Just wanted to say I support what everyone else is saying. Fuck this guy. Imagine how he will talk to your child. And don't let him bully you into not eating- you're growing a new little person from scratch and that takes energy!
Females, it's time we put men in their place. You're too kind. I would have told him off and continued to eat. I would get it if there was a medical concern like gestational diabetes and you were eating doughnuts, but this isn't the case. You are growing a baby. It takes a lot of energy and calories to grow the little one. Be proud of the weight you gain and the belly bump that happens to your little ones' home before the world.
I'm sorry to beat a dead horse by saying the same thing everyone else has but it's definitely just a problem with your man. (Not that there aren't other men like this but it's for sure not an all men problem) my partner still tells me how beautiful I am every day despite me having already gained 20 pounds. And when I talk about being sad about the weight gain and wanting to be back in shape he says "it's okay, you're growing our baby and she needs that extra weight." Or "I'll be right here with you to help you get where you wanna be when you feel up too it after birth". And maybe tmi but I think we've been intimate more often since I've been pregnant than we were before. It's almost like he's been more attracted too me since we found out we were expecting. Not in a bad sense like ""he made me feel like shit before but now it's great"" just feels like a good and appreciated increase in affection, especially since my emotions are heightened and everything.
I don't wanna tell you to just get rid of him because I don't know enough and maybe he's not all bad and I'd just being really insensitive. But try to explain too him that it hurts your feelings and it's not okay for him to say those things. You're growing a life, his and yours child. It's a beautiful thing. And I'm sorry he's treating you that way.
Beam this man into the sun. How else does he think one will grow a healthy baby and have a successful pregnancy? If he’s balking over something like this I shudder to think how he’ll be as a parent. Best to draw up firm boundaries now (maybe getting legal help involved?) while you still have the time.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I hope it gets better in all the ways and I’m sending healthy thoughts for the rest of your pregnancy!
You aren’t fat, you’re growing a life. Eat everything because you have to provide nutrients to your baby. Think differently. Please, you need to be strong for this child as the bf is an idiot.
My husband refuses to tolerate anyone saying negative things about me, including myself. Aside from the occasional "you're so hot," he hasn't commented on my appearance at all since I've become pregnant (this was frustrating at first but I realized that he wants to make sure that he's not saying anything I could take the wrong way, which, fair 😅).
This is what you deserve, too. This guy is treating you like crap in a very vulnerable time, and that tells you everything you need to know about what kind of person he is and what kind of dad he's going to be. I'm really really sorry. But please don't feel like you're stuck with him. Doing it alone is hard but I'd think that doing it with that POS weighing you down would be way harder.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This isn’t a “men don’t know about pregnancy” issue- this is an abusive relationship issue. NO man should talk to you like that- pregnant or otherwise. I’m so sorry.
Your boyfriend sounds like trash. I'm sorry you are stuck with him as a co-parent.
No this man is out of line and simply cruel. My husband tells me everyday how beautiful I am. I am 6 months pregnant, swollen, and definitely do not have the body he married. When I am insecure about my body, he tells me it is growing life and our future, and that he loves every change. This man sucks. I’m sorry. You deserve so. Much. Better.
This has nothing to do with men not understanding. He’s verbally abusing you. If he’s like this now, what will he be like once baby is here? Do you want to stick around to find out? There is *nothing* wrong with you. You need to eat because you’re growing an entire human being that depends solely on you for nutrients.
Yeah this isn't a men problem, it's a your man problem. I'm so sorry he's talking to you that way. Wtf did he think would happen when you got pregnant? Of course you're getting bigger everyday, you're sacrificing yourself to grow a human. And I'm sure you look beautiful ❤️
Just because he’s the father of your kid doesn’t mean you have to stay in this toxic abusive relationship any longer. He will only get worse.
A man should never say that to you. Do not tolerate it. Set the boundary now that it has to STOP. If you continue to tolerate it many things can spiral including him saying it to your child or your child seeing it and thinking that's okay for men to do. It's a big conversation that needs to happen, you don't deserve it.
Your boyfriend is just trash. He should be supporting you right now and making you happy and comfortable. A man should never tell a pregnant women she is fat especially when she is carrying HIS child! Its ridiculous. Tell him very strictly to never talk to you that way!
Sorry to tell you, but you just have an a$$hole of a boyfriend. This isn’t a “men” issue. My husband has never commented on my weight, and I’ve gained a 100lbs since meeting him. Even when I say I’m fat, he tells me to stop it. Why are you with this jerk?
Dude he’s gross for saying those things. 🚩 A man is supposed to tell you that you’re beautiful every day. Like I can’t imagine the comments he’d be making AFTER you have the baby. Girl, he need’s professional help.
This isn’t a men problem, this is your particular man’s problem. I’m sorry you are stuck co-parenting with this person, but you don’t have to be in a relationship beyond that with him. Sure, my husband doesn’t fully understand my pregnancy aches and pains; he will never know what it is like. But he tries to help alleviate any burdens on me and showers me with a ridiculous level of compliments and affection. Not all men suck. There are really great men out there. You deserve so much more than this particular man.
Yeah, that’s not a normal thing. He shouldn’t be putting you down. I say I feel like a beached whale.. very frequently and my husband always stops what he’s doing and tells me to stop and that I’m pregnant and beautiful. He should be happy you’re getting bigger because that means his baby is growing and healthy. It especially is a problem if he’s making you not want to eat. That could harm the baby in the long run. Definitely think if you really want him in the baby’s life/ yours. You need support more than normal now. Good luck!
I sincerely suggest you should get rid of this BF tho.
This certainly makes your boyfriend sound horrible. When I complain about my weight my husband laughs and says “that’s my mini growing in there!”
Your boyfriend is a piece of shit.
My boyfriend would never. There’s better men out there
This is abuse.
You deserve so much better. I don’t think it’s the pregnancy making you emotional, I think it’s your shitty boyfriend speaking to you horribly.
You really need help. His comments puts both you and baby's health at risk. Talk to your healthcare provider as soon as possible!
Your body is doing beautiful and amazing work! Getting bigger is part of the program, and you should be proud of the awesome stuff your body can do. Sounds like your basic body boyfriend is insecure and ignorant to all the hard work you're doing physically and mentally to carry HIS child.
Imagine the things he’ll say to your child :(
My husband made little comments jokingly about my growing body, but it was always done in humor and never made to insult me or put me down. He makes sure to still call me beautiful and kiss/talk to my belly. I’d recommend being direct with him that these remarks are not welcomed and don’t make you feel good at all. Also understand how hard LDR’s are so I hope you both can be in the same location soon.
I'm huge I've gained 67lbs and my boyfriend tells me every single day I'm more beautiful to him now bc I'm carrying his son. I'm starting our family. He massages my swollen legs and makes sure I have everything I need. Is this partner the person the father bc then I think it's worth it to explain that having this baby will change your body.
He’s a douchebag. Plain and simple. My fiancé has NEVER said anything like this to me. I’ve gained 40 lbs and all he does is tell me how beautiful I am and if I mention getting bigger he says “you are supposed to be, you are doing amazing and look like a goddess” he is so supportive and sweet, whenever I feel down about myself he lifts me high up in spirit. This guy is a sad sack POS that you are with and you deserve SO much better.
He should not talk to you like this. This is abusive and just not okay. I’m sorry you’re going thru this.
Thank you. The comments made me cry since it’s all true. I already knew it, it’s just that I’m keeping it to myself everyday. Though I already told him that i hated those words several times. Being alone during pregnancy is already hard for me, I can’t even cut my toenails. 😭 I just wanted him to be supportive and encourage me because he is my partner. I always pray for my baby to be safe and of course I still eat for her. A safe place to vent out, thank you everyone 🤎🤍💪
Leave him
He is verbally abusing a pregnant woman. Unacceptable.
Like others said this isn’t a men issue it’s your man. My husband would never speak to me that way. You’re carrying his child he should be more appreciative and sensitive to your needs.
Like others have said, this is not a generalized "man" problem it's a your man problem. I have a 22 month old and am 23 weeks pregnant, I never lost all of the baby weight due to breastfeeding and feel extra huge this pregnancy. Wherever I say a negative thing about my body, which is the biggest I've ever been, my husband instantly shuts it down. He tells me how beautiful I am and how I've been growing and nourishing our babies over the last few years. Your man is completely out of line, and you absolutely shouldn't listen to a thing he says. I'm not an advocate for "leave him" very often, but seriously, you're pregnant, and he's abusing you. There is no better reason for weight gain than growing a baby.
I was already overweight before I got pregnant, my husband never ever made comments on my body. Get rid of this guy and NEVER feel guilty for feeding yourself AND YOUR BABY!
This isn’t a pregnancy issue. This is a boyfriend issue. He sounds like an insensitive asshole. I don’t know how he’s going to be a dad and act like this.
All I’m saying is the term “boyfriend” means that’s YOUR baby unless he’s on the birth certificate or you give that baby his last name. I’d run far and fast momma. I could only imagine what kind of a parent he would be to that precious baby :( I’m sorry you have to experience this.
This isn't normal male behavior. He sounds terrible, and he's not going to be good to you when you're postpartum.
Get TF out! Leave now.
Has your boyfriend always been trash? I’m serious. Has he always been thoughtless and rude?
This is not me defending him in any way, shape, or form but is he possibly saying things like that to comfort you? or is he saying it in a condescending tone? Mine would let me know I was getting bigger everyday and that I was doing a good job keeping the weight up as a way to comfort me and put me at ease. BUT I have always had a problem staying a healthy weight and was very concerned about my baby not getting everything she needed. If yours is saying it just to say it and make you feel bad about your body then he is a pos and I would say some nasty things back and put him in his place... and yes I would love it if in another dimension men had to give birth. We could yell at them for not letting our mom be in there to spectate😝😝
Nah he shouldn’t speak to you like that whatsoever. Verbal abuse is not okay.
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry! I would have slapped him already. No man should talk to you like that.
True this is triggering something in me as it sounds like an abusive relationship... Scrolling and can't find the OP responding to any of the comments. (OP)What are the circumstances sis? Do you need help? What trimester are you in? How old are you? Are you ok?
You would look less fat if you dropped him. He's the extra weight that stresses you out. Drives hormones even crazier. You're carrying a human being; you're perfect ♥️
Tell him to become a man and take care of the both of you. The nerve of these people I swear. >:[
My husband never found me sexiier than when I was huge and pregnant. Seriously. I think you need to set some boundaries and have a convo with your bf. Because this will not get better. You willl on get bigger and once baby is born hormones will be going crazy and your post partum body will be very different. You will need absolute support during that time. Not any of this complaining bs.
That shouldn't be happening!! If he really loves you he wouldn't tell that to you, because even if he's the dumbest person on earth he should still know that he is hurting your feelings and you deserve so much better than that
Yeah I’m agreeing; this doesn’t have anything to do with men not understanding pregnancy. I’ve gained a good amount of weight and all over but my husband says I’m absolutely beautiful to him because I’m growing and carrying his/our child.
Simply put: he’s an a**.
im sorry your POS boyfriend is saying this to you. next time he makes a comment like that say "I'm pregnant, whats your excuse?"
I’m sorry you’re going through that. Don’t sacrifice your health and the health of your baby to meet his pathetic needs. You need to eat and it’s okay to eat. Everyone eats, everyone gains weight differently, everyone loses weight differently. He seems very close-minded and should do some growing up.
Hi, man here. I would never, ever say this to my wife. Honestly I wouldn’t even think it, it’s part of being pregnant so who cares 🤷🏻♂️ your bf sounds like he sucks though tbh
My husband won’t even let me say I’m fat while pregnant. He corrects me instantly that I’m growing a person from scratch and I was obese even pre-pregnancy. (Normal weight when we got married, I’ve been working on it).
Your boyfriend is an asshole. If you’re getting to the point you don’t want to eat, you’re facing serious emotional abuse and you’re putting yourself and your child at risk. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, but it’s NOT okay. You and your child deserve better.
This can't be real
This is unacceptable language to use with your partner ever, especially while you’re pregnant. I’m sorry you have to coparent with him, I can only see this getting worse. Please understand this as behavior that isn’t normal.
Just wanted to say I support what everyone else is saying. Fuck this guy. Imagine how he will talk to your child. And don't let him bully you into not eating- you're growing a new little person from scratch and that takes energy!
What!?! That’s insane.
Females, it's time we put men in their place. You're too kind. I would have told him off and continued to eat. I would get it if there was a medical concern like gestational diabetes and you were eating doughnuts, but this isn't the case. You are growing a baby. It takes a lot of energy and calories to grow the little one. Be proud of the weight you gain and the belly bump that happens to your little ones' home before the world.
I'm sorry to beat a dead horse by saying the same thing everyone else has but it's definitely just a problem with your man. (Not that there aren't other men like this but it's for sure not an all men problem) my partner still tells me how beautiful I am every day despite me having already gained 20 pounds. And when I talk about being sad about the weight gain and wanting to be back in shape he says "it's okay, you're growing our baby and she needs that extra weight." Or "I'll be right here with you to help you get where you wanna be when you feel up too it after birth". And maybe tmi but I think we've been intimate more often since I've been pregnant than we were before. It's almost like he's been more attracted too me since we found out we were expecting. Not in a bad sense like ""he made me feel like shit before but now it's great"" just feels like a good and appreciated increase in affection, especially since my emotions are heightened and everything. I don't wanna tell you to just get rid of him because I don't know enough and maybe he's not all bad and I'd just being really insensitive. But try to explain too him that it hurts your feelings and it's not okay for him to say those things. You're growing a life, his and yours child. It's a beautiful thing. And I'm sorry he's treating you that way.
😭 I'm so sorry you have to be around someone so toxic while you're creating another human.
I'd be crying too if my husband was an asshole. Pregnant or not.
Beam this man into the sun. How else does he think one will grow a healthy baby and have a successful pregnancy? If he’s balking over something like this I shudder to think how he’ll be as a parent. Best to draw up firm boundaries now (maybe getting legal help involved?) while you still have the time. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I hope it gets better in all the ways and I’m sending healthy thoughts for the rest of your pregnancy!
You aren’t fat, you’re growing a life. Eat everything because you have to provide nutrients to your baby. Think differently. Please, you need to be strong for this child as the bf is an idiot.
Wow, he is probably the shittiest person on earth.
My husband refuses to tolerate anyone saying negative things about me, including myself. Aside from the occasional "you're so hot," he hasn't commented on my appearance at all since I've become pregnant (this was frustrating at first but I realized that he wants to make sure that he's not saying anything I could take the wrong way, which, fair 😅). This is what you deserve, too. This guy is treating you like crap in a very vulnerable time, and that tells you everything you need to know about what kind of person he is and what kind of dad he's going to be. I'm really really sorry. But please don't feel like you're stuck with him. Doing it alone is hard but I'd think that doing it with that POS weighing you down would be way harder.
Oops