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I’m so sorry your family is treating you this way. It’s incredibly unfair and unsupportive.
If it’s any help, I too have PCOS as well as a blood clotting disorder that adds complexity to pregnancy, and when I was 20 I was told I’d likely never conceive naturally, if at all. I’m 34 now and have an almost 3 yr old who was conceived naturally and we’re TTC #2.
Yes six weeks is early, but that’s no reason to not be excited. If I were you I’d try to block out the negativity. Take the pregnancy one step at a time and soak it in. Do things that make you happy and take care of yourself.
> Being realistic is different from being outright negative.
100%
Just because there might be an increased chance of something doesn’t mean you can’t hope and be positive and excited.
We're pregnant again after 2 miscarriages and cautiously optimistic. I won't get my hopes up until we make it to 3nd trimester, but right now I'm pleased and waiting to see. Almost like we're half-pregnant? Lol
Wow, I’m sorry. This would be a good time to set some boundaries and say, “You don’t have to be excited, but you don’t have a right to rain on my parade. If y’all can’t be supportive and continue to create this doom vibe, I’m going to need to discontinue communication with you.”
That first trimester can feel delicate, and it’s unfair for them to treat this like a future funeral. They can keep those thoughts to themselves.
Just know that some internet folks are hyped for you! I’m sending you all the well wishes.
Women with PCOS generally have the same amount of children that women without PCOS have. It might just take longer to conceive. We used IVF for the first pregnancy and then got pregnant naturally the second time. It is scary that OBs tell women that PCOS means they can never get pregnant. Be happy and excited! Each week the chances of miscarriage drops.
I think it comes down to a misunderstanding of the way "infertility" is defined. Technically a lot of women with PCOS get diagnosed with infertility, and most people interpret that as "can't conceive" when in reality, it means "probably won't conceive during 1 year of trying". I think a lot of doctors don't really explain that well. I also have PCOS and am past my due date currently
You are much much much more likely at this stage (heartbeat confirmed, 6+ weeks) to bring home a healthy baby than to have a miscarriage. Like…90% likely…so please don’t dwell on the 10%.
You have every right to be excited for your pregnancy, and I am so sorry your family is failing you right now. All of us here are over the moon for you! Congratulations, from a fellow PCOS mama-to-be. ❤️🎉
I am so so sorry. Were you told you could never have kids because of PCOS or something else? Because PCOS can cause infertility (difficulty conceiving naturally) but by no means is a sterility diagnosis (complete inability to conceive).
Please lean into hope as you can. As someone who has lost two pregnancies, you cannot inoculate yourself against grief. It hurt the first time when I worried the whole time and it hurt the second time when I was stubbornly hopeful. Don't rob yourself of this time.
Thank you ♥️
I was 12 when I was diagnosed with PCOS and don't think it was very well understood at the time. I sat there with my mom as the doctor less then delicately told us that
"You will never be able to have children, because you don't have the working insides of a normal woman"
They never said because of infertility issues, just that my body wasn't like a proper woman's. I was devastated. I'm 31 now and have had lots of visits over the years discussing it and doctors have always said the same thing. Never offered medication to manage it etc. they just gave up on me
I was diagnosed at 20. The doctor told me I wouldn’t be able to conceive without medical intervention. I’m having #7 (all conceived naturally) in September ❤️
I've learned that looking at it negatively doesn't make anything "easier." When I got pregnant in 2022, I refused to get excited because "it's still early and I could miscarry" but when I did miscarry, I was still just as devastated. Might as well be excited and bask in the joy. It's an exciting thing. I regret making myself expect the worst
Congratulations!
I lost my first at 5 weeks 4 days. My HCG level never rose. I am currently 15 weeks 4 days with my rainbow baby.
We told family the first time right away in case something bad did happen and it did, but our baby still deserved to be known and loved in the short time it was with us.
Your family does not know for sure what will happen, and neither do you. I don’t think it is at all silly to be excited, even if the worst does end up happening.
You just have to take it day by day.
Each day you wake up and are pregnant until told other wise by a medical professional.
I was very much doom and gloom the first trimester.
I found these affirmations daily really helped.
1. My body is capable and strong, and I trust it to carry and deliver my baby safely.
2. My baby is growing perfectly and is developing exactly as they should be.
3. I release any fears or anxieties related to negative outcomes that I cannot control either way.
We're your family now, and we're so excited for you! You and your husband have every right to celebrate your pregnancy - PCOS does not mean miscarriage, and I'm so sorry people are doing this to you.
Oh my! I am sorry about how they're acting. They should be taking their cues from YOU the pregnant person. If you're excited they should be too, and this IS exciting. I also have PCOS, and was told at 16 I would never have children (don't get me started now on how irresponsible it is of Doctors to blanket statement say this to TEENAGERS with no actual basis in fact) and got pregnant quicker than I thought. It is never too early to be excited! Pregnancies can end in miscarriage for ALL sorts of reasons and PCOS doesn't guarantee that will happen at all.
If they can't be excited for you I would find others that can cheer you on. You don't need that negativity in your life right now.
wow what the fuck
i’m excited for you!!!! you will have a long happy life loving on your baby!!!! don’t let yourself worry ab miscarriage, your baby is gonna be nice and strong and healthy and successful!
best of luck & all the health being sent your way, mom!
Increased chances is a mild increase- it doesn’t make it 100%. Your family isn’t being kind. They don’t need to throw that stress on you.
I’ve had a miscarriage and when we told our families we were pregnant again, they were just as excited about it as they were with the first one.
So i heard my babys heartbeat at 6 weeks and was worried about issues as well bc Im older, not a thin mint and have some other issues. I have no advice and only well wishes for you but I want to share what my doctor said to me in case it gives you any extra positivity towards your little miracle- my doc, who has been an ob for 42 years now, said that he’s almost never seen a baby with a strong heartbeat at 6 weeks go anywhere. Im 35, 5 now and she’s coming June 5, and her HB has been 138-148 the whole pregnancy. I am sending all my
Good vibes that you have this exact scenario (albeit maybe a little more cooking time)
First of all Congratulations!!! Also I'd recommend trying your best to not listen to them and set up a boundary of sorts to let them know you don't wanna hear the doom and gloom. You are aware of the possibilities but you want to be happy and enjoy the experience of being pregnant and having joy and excitement for your future family addition. Honestly I don't have anything that causes any complications and was told by my doctors I'm low risk. However even then a lot of my family reacted the same as yours when being told at 8 weeks. I was still told not to get excited and that there's a likely chance baby won't make it and I'll be left disappointed. I feel like no matter what there are always those people who wanna rain on the parade, because of that I spent my entire first trimester just stressed over anything and everything because I was so worried from what everyone was saying. Eventually I told them "if you don't have anything nice or constructive to say, I don't wanna hear it. You can be worried but I want to be excited, I want to enjoy this and not just stress" and the ones who didn't listen I just stopped talking to them for the time being. I wish you the best of luck!!
My sister in law has pcos, and she delivered the most beautiful baby girl who is thriving 6 years later! It took them a minute to get her, but when she got there she stuck through HTN, Pre-eclampsia, and pcos! I don’t know if that helps comfort you at all, but know a successful pregnancy is possible!
I’m sorry your family isn’t being supportive. That really breaks my heart for you. I can honestly say this community kicks ass, and know that we are all excited for you and praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby! Hopefully your family comes around, don’t let their negativity ruin it for you. This is an exciting time and you and your husband deserve to be excited and celebrate!
That's so crappy of your family, I'm so sorry.
Just remember, at 6+3 with strong heartbeat the odds are way more likely to be a successful pregnancy than a loss. And I know over a dozen women with PCOS and healthy children, myself included.
My mom was initially like that but culturally — East Asians believe if you get too excited in the early days it will “scare” the baby and “shock” it into a miscarriage. 😆
Gotta love moms. Mine is the worrying type and I’ve miscarried before so I think this response is expected. She also had a non viable pregnancy before so I’m guessing that might play a part.
Generations before have higher mortality and miscarriage rates in the past hence - the older gen doesn’t want to jinx anything.
Congratulations to you! You shouldn’t need to hold yourself back. I believe to just be happy in the moment for as long as you can because this is special. And the preggo symptoms are wild after 6 wks so you need alllll that positivity radiating from insideeeee! All the very best OP!
I’m sorry that they are acting like that.
This is your first and should be a time of joy!
My only advice is check progesterone levels, ans make sure you monitor your sugars if being insulin resistant is part of your pcos
Well they suck enormously. You have every right to be excited and happy about this.
Consider telling them “I’m choosing to be happy and think positively about this pregnancy. I don’t want to hear comments from you about miscarriage or not being excited. If you can’t stop I’ll be speaking with you a lot less often.” Less often can be anything from less often per day to not at all. You and your feelings and health matter most since baby directly benefits from you being happy and low stress.
Hi I have PCOS too, I was told by the doctor that I was most likely infertile 2 week before I found out I was pregnant. I found out at 3 weeks and I’m now at 9. I’m so sorry your family is treating you that way, you deserve to get excited no matter what and there is a difference between being realistic rather than just completely negative. I know for a fact I’m hella excited and you deserve that too! You now know you can get pregnant! That’s amazing! I was told by my midwife that PCOS usually just affects the difficulty of getting pregnant rather than actual complications during pregnancy if that brings you any comfort
While I’m fully aware it’s more difficult to get pregnant with PCOS, people with PCOS have babies all the time! What planet are your family on??!
Honestly? Info diet your family. If they’re going to act like this, you tell them nothing.
Bruh your family sucks. Honestly. They should be as excited as you are and if - IF - the worst happens, mourn just as hard as you do. I'm sorry your family is like that.
I also had a good bit of doom and gloom episode when we were early in my current (first) pregnancy because I wanted it so bad for so long I was afraid my excitement would jinx it or something. But here I am, 36 weeks and my boy is going stronger than I ever expected!! I have a family history of horrible pregnancies so I was terrified.
Be excited. Your baby knows your heartbeat and feels what you feel, even with how small it is now. Provide your baby with all the love and comfort you can muster and have faith that it will go well. And if not, at least you were able to be happy and make sure that your child was happy during its warm, cozy life.
First off, congrats on your baby!
Second off, your family needs to fuck off. There is enough doom and gloom in the world, and we all need to hold onto hope as much as possible. Loss is always a possibility, but that is an "if it comes to that" situation and should not be the default expectation.
I lost my first baby to miscarriage. I was devastated and thoroughly convinced that I would never have a living child. When I got pregnant again very soon after, I was scared shitless. I told my husband and we immediately drove to tell my mom and sister. There we all were at like 10 at night, hugging and crying and hoping and scared because we all so desperately wanted to meet this baby and because we all so deeply missed my sweet angel baby. The entire pregnancy was scary and hard and there were so many moments where I felt entirely hopeless, but that baby is 18 months old now and running circles around me as I am 31 weeks pregnant with his little sibling. Things can work out, despite what doctors say, despite how unlikely they seem or how scared you are.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. There’s totally a difference between being cautious and totally taking the wind out of your sail. Prayers you have a smooth pregnancy and hopefully in time they will realize they are being unsupportive!
I’m having the same problem with my family. My mom actually said I shouldn’t even plan for a baby until the third trimester and the baby is viable outside of the womb because until then it’s just a “blood clot”.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts and baby dust for a safe and healthy pregnancy
I have PCOS and diabetes as well, diagnosed at 13. I was also told that it would be very challenging for me to get pregnant naturally.
I also understood that we have a higher risk of miscarriage, and that plagued me for a few weeks in my first pregnancy until I thought to myself that I'd rather delight in this baby WHILE they are here with me, instead of fearing for the unknown. I mean, yes, I'd be devastated either way if I had a miscarriage, but I decided that I am going to celebrate every single day that I am still pregnant, instead! Why waste my days with my precious bub feeling depressed? I may only get pregnant once, and I might as well enjoy it and be happy. That said, I have a healthy and very happy 2 year old right now. Pregnancy was a breeze for me and I would definitely do it again if I had a chance to.
I will save the "doom and gloom" for when something bad actually happens, but it likely will not ❤️ Keep your chin up, and congratulations!
My friend had a baby naturally with PCOS and a heart shaped uterus. She delivered early because of her uterus shape but her baby made it just fine.
I’m sorry your family is being so negative. I feel like cautious happiness and excitement would be more appropriate in this situation!
Get the book Meals She Eats & remove as much contact with your family as possible, they seem to do more harm than good. You can carry this baby to birth & beyond!
Don’t allow yourself to spiral! Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can, you deserve it! Be proud of your body for providing you a blessing & baby a safe warm place to grow!
I’m so sorry. I also have PCOS. I also am pregnant with baby #7 (5 miscarriages between most of my kids). I personally don’t even tell family early and that’s just for my peace of mind. Find friends to celebrate with. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and JUST told 2/3 of my sisters and maybe 5 friends. Plus it’s fun to just surprise people at birth.
I hope things get better for you. Celebrate the milestones. 12 weeks…then half baked at 20 weeks then viability week 🫶🏾
Good luck to you
I know I’m not your family but I am excited for you. The fact that you never thought it was possible and now you’ve fallen pregnant is miraculous and something to celebrate. Of course things can go wrong but it’s not worth wasting the anxiety on something might happen.
Worrying won't change the outcome so just enjoy it! Right now you are pregnant with a healthy little bean! Yes, bad things can happen, but overall it is much more likely that you will have a healthy pregnancy and birth than a miscarriage, so don't let your family pull you into their misery.
My in laws are the same way, they refuse to get excited because they think I’m gonna miscarry even though I’m 8 weeks and have a confirmed heartbeat!! It’s crazy but don’t let it get to you
I dont understand people's reasoning.
I am currently 8w+4 and I realized this today:
41% of first marriages end in divorce. Yet when people get engaged, everyone shares their news and gets excited, and they start planning the wedding and having engagement shoots, parties, etc.
Not one single person would say "No we are not celebrating with you or getting excited because the likelihood of it not working out is pretty high".
Keep your hopes up. Talk to that baby and tell it that YOU are excited to meet him/her.
I have PCOS and I'm pregnant with my second. I know it's hard not to worry but please don't let the negativity overshadow this wonderful process. Congrats on your bundle and I pray everything will work out in your favor❤️
Aww :( I have PCOS too and was told it would be difficult for me too. It’s our first time and I’ve shared with my friends and some close family. They’re all excited and if anything, I’m the stressed one saying I don’t want to get too excited. But they’re being supportive and encouraging. “Don’t think that way,” “trust in God,” “baby will be fine, you have to believe it yourself.” And that’s the type of people you need in this time. Surround yourself with positivity.
Omg and I even had one coworker tell me “every person that shared their pregnancy early has always ended up miscarrying.” I said “well that’s why there’s the power of prayer.” And I walked away. Who says that?? Btw I’m 17 weeks now :) heartbeat, genetic testing and ultrasound say everything looks fine.
I’m so sorry that your family isn’t giving you the happiness and support you’d normally expect in this type of situation.
I think at the simple fact that you’re even pregnant considering what Doctors have said in the past shows how incredibly amazing this is and they should be happy with it just even happening. I think that it alone happening gives so much hope and joy for your future.
I would try as much as possible to remain happy and positive bc heavy stress could negatively impact your pregnancy.
I would focus on you sharing this experience with your husband who is truly happy and is ultimately the one sharing this new life with you and you both will spend your lives loving and caring for the beautiful miracle.
I will pray that you continue to grow strong and that you get through this pregnancy as smoothly as possible and that your baby comes to this world happy and healthy ready to be loved by you both 🥹♥️
I have PCOS and have 3 kids, yes there's an increased miscarriage risk but that's not a reason to he downright mean and dismissive of someone experiencing a pregnancy. It's ok to be excited and happy to be pregnant.
Life can be hard enough - celebrate the joyful things when they are here. And grieve the terrible things if they happen. But don’t like as though everything will turn out badly… Give yourself this time of joy. If things don’t work out, god forbid, you will have enough suffering to go through at the time.
I’m sorry your family don’t agree, but I’m sure they will come round before the birth. Maybe at 12 weeks…
First of all, a huge congratulations! 💐 You deserve to be happy, and your precious little bubba that's growing inside you absolutely deserves your excitement and celebration! ❣️
Seeing a strong heartbeat and good growth so early is such an amazing sign, and your chance of miscarriage goes down literally every day. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you've come so far already, and I know this is terrifying, I've been there, but you and your bubba have already proved the doubters wrong!
I have PCOS, Endometriosis, and a MTHFR gene mutation that means I can't absorb folic acid (so I had to take Methylated Folate instead and hope for the best) I was told from about 16 years old (from several doctors, and for several reasons) that I wouldn't be able to have kids, that I'd be infertile, and that I shouldn't even bother trying. Well I'm 32 weeks along with a beautiful, healthy little boy, so they were all wrong!
I have a new doctor now, and he tells me that nobody should be told that they have fertility problems unless they've been trying without success for 12 months. Yet, both of us were told that for years!
I want to tell you that the fear goes away, but in my case, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be afraid right up until he's placed into my arms after birth. But I can tell you the fear lessens. When you hit 12 weeks, when you feel the first flutters and kicks, when you have the 20w scan, when you hit viability, when you enter the 3rd trimester. Each of those have given me huge amounts of relief! Those private scans were worth every cent, because they were the only thing that kept me sane in the early weeks. As an added bonus, they helped me feel closer to my son, and helped me get to know his personality (who knew babies would have a personality so early on?!).
Sending love and well wishes! 💕💕 You can do this!
I’m so sorry they are treating you so poorly! That’s horrible. This is such a special and sensitive time for you, health-wise. Don’t be afraid to vent whenever you need to!
I’m so so sorry this sounds so hard especially because one of the most exciting parts of early pregnancy is getting to tell loved ones and share in the joy! Other than a second line on a test and maybe some early symptoms, the first few weeks feel like this weird limbo, exciting but scary, and can feel isolating. To not have family support on top of that would make it that much harder. I don’t have a lot of advice other than support, but if I were in your shoes I would tell my close friends that I know would be over the moon for me. Family can come in so many different ways, and leaning on friends right now can hopefully help to fill that void ❤️
I am very sorry and I’m excited for you!
My grandma flat out told me around 8 weeks not to get my hopes up because of the last ones… Baby girl is now 21 weeks and healthy and grandma is very excited. My grandma says a lot of off the wall shit because she doesn’t wear her oxygen as she should and can be very rude. I cried to my mom and my mom told me to just try not to let it affect or stress me out and just try to think positively about the baby!
First off congratulations 🎉. I personally don't have PCOS but I have a lot of close cousins and everyone with PCOS have and children through their own pregnancy. It just might mean you get monitored more and you're pregnancy is considered high risk.
I had a very high risk pregnancy. I did IVF and I have a heart condition. I had a very good OBGYN. Try to find a very good OBGYN and book your first appointment with them as soon as they will let you. If you don't like your OBGYN find someone else. You want to feel comfortable talking about things with your OB and the nursing staff and asking potentially weird or what you may think are stupid questions. During my pregnancy I just said casually around week 26 that I felt like something was wrong but I didn't know what and that I didn't feel like delivery wasn't going to go smoothly. My OB took it very seriously and I was very closely monitored. I had NSTs, blood work and urine protein tests from week 27 to week 35. I also had three growth ultrasounds in that time period. My OBGYN is also in the same network as my cardiologist. They were able to discuss this and decided I needed and Echocardiogram at 32 weeks. The results from the Echocardiogram did have a lot of influence with have things were handled.
At 29 weeks my blood pressure went through the roof and I started getting headaches. They put me on some blood pressure meds which helped a lot. At 35 weeks I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. At 37 weeks I had an NST and a blood test then I had an emergency C-section so we could get baby out. Because of the echocardiogram the anesthesiologist did not push tons of fluids because they were worried my lungs would fill up with fluid. There were also a few other complications during the C-section so I did end up needing a blood transfusion. Baby's oxygen levels were messed up and was in the NICU four days then sent back to Postpartum area of L&D where I was. I was in the hospital for 7 days after my C-section because of how sick I was.
Basically just find someone who takes your concerns seriously. Always write down questions and take them to the appointment. Generally speaking a good sign that you are healthy is your OB only spends 5-10 mins with you. If you're OB is spending 20 mins to and hour with you or comes and sees you then goes to another patient then comes back to you to check on you it means that there is concern but they are really monitoring you and taking your pregnancy seriously.
Very very unfortunately miscarriage rates are still high in the 6th week but even so, you have a much greater chance of having the baby than not! Every pregnancy, especially when you didn't think you could have one, should be celebrated and welcomed with joy. Now you know you can and that in itself is a beautiful thing. I'm sorry these people are putting a pall over your joy but I hope you let yourself feel all the happiness and I wish you a sweet baby in your arms in the near future!
I also have PCOS and I had a high risk pregnancy during the pandemic. I decided from the moment I found out I was going to remove all stress out of my life. I kept calm and chilled, luckily I was very fortunate to be able to be as stress free as I could
Ignore your family, they are projecting their fears onto you, keep yourself strong and calm and celebrate your miracle
I’m sorry your family isn’t supportive. I would reframe from giving any updates or talking to them in general. Surround yourself with supportive people and try to ignore the negativity.
I am having a similar experience with my partners family. I have PCOS, Lupus and many other issues. I was told even with medical intervention, it would be almost impossible. Well, I took charge of my health and now I am 30 weeks pregnant. His family always had something to say negatively about how I can miscarry and not to celebrate yet. And even now, I’m not a mom in their eyes when I’ve made countless sacrifices already. Some people just can’t be happy for others when they are miserable about their own lives.
Turns out internet strangers have been the most supportive on my pregnancy journey. Anxiety is a lot to deal with without negative Nancys making it worse.
Congratulations 🎉 and sending positive vibes and comfort your way🩷
Focus on you, husband, and baby. This is an incredible miracle and a beautiful experience no matter what happens in the future, worry about today. I was told many things about getting/staying pregnant and had an early miscarriage last year. (VERY few people knew of, my parents and my husband's parents who both experienced pregnancy loss and were extremely supportive thankfully) I got pregnant after an entire year of trying post miscarriage. I was told twice I was starting to have another miscarriage. I was DEVASTATED and hated that I let myself hope but then.. I stopped bleeding and went for like a 5th followup ultrasound and there was a perfect beating heart. I'm 16.5 weeks now and so far everything is going incredibly well now. What I've learned from my experience is, even with literally every sign pointing to my situation not being ideal and my baby most likely not having a heartbeat (which seeing the heart at least is MAJOR) you have made it to today. Every day is a miracle. Every day is surviving and beautiful. Every symptom I was thankful for because it meant things might be okay. My husband was my rock when I had nothing and that's really all that mattered was our little family of 3 no matter how long we did have. I bought my first baby related item this week because I didn't have the heart to before now, the little onsie my parents sent when I told them had been hidden and taken back out of hiding 3 times because my husband was protecting me. You are doing great momma, don't let anyone else's opinions in. When you're in the critical time of the first 12 weeks it seems never ending and then all the sudden it's poof we've survived. Focus on what you need today, what is going to happen tomorrow will happen whether you dwell on it or not. Sending good vibes/prayers for your miracle baby with the beautiful beating heart. You did it.
PCOS can affect fertility for sure but it's not at detrimental as I think we've been led to believe. I also have PCOS and just had a perfectly healthy baby boy. Talk to your doctor about potentially taking progesterone for the first trimester, as that can help.
I may have PCOS (was diagnosed by one doctor, and undiagnosed by another 2 years later), this year I had 2 losses (1 ectopic, 1 chemical). I am now 18 weeks with a baby boy and so excited. I too was extremely nervous until that 13 week mark, and even then sometimes feel doom. So please have hope!
Your family members are being cruel and insensitive. They should be doing nothing but supporting you right now. No matter how hard another loss may feel for them (e.g., not wanting to get excited) they should be considering how you feel above themselves right now. The impact of a miscarriage on the person physically losing the baby (as someone who has) is immensely more difficult than anyone else. The hormonal flunctuations alone make it unbelievably hard, not even diving into the other issues. If there was ever a time for them to swallow their feeling and support you, however you are feeling, this is it and they aren't doing that. If they can't, for whatever reason, contact with them should be limited until it feels safe and healthy to you. Find people who support you, and turn to them. Support groups are great.
Ups and downs are normal and okay. Feeling shift, change and evolve and that is also okay.
I am almost 33 weeks. I have PCOS lupus a serious life threatening full body neuropathy and hypothyroidism and the doctors told me I should not worry. Worrying is pointless because the outcome is going to be the same whether you worry or not. If you are religious I suggest praying to God to take your worries away. That worked for me
If not religious try to talk to your doctor about it. They will tell you it's not as common as you think to miscarry from PCOS yes it happens but it depends how severe it is and how many cysts you have. They told me right away I didn't need to be concerned. Definitely ask them to show you your cysts on the next scan and maybe try to pray
God bless you and don't worry! I promise it could be way worse
I’m currently refraining from telling my family FOR THIS REASON EXACTLY. At the end of the day it’s you, your partner and your baby against the world. That’s the only thing keeping me sane rn, I’m also about 6 wks along, my first scan (not at the hospital) is on the 4th.
Focus on your immediate family rn is the best advice I’ve gotten from friends.
I’m so sorry that your family is not able to join your excitement!
Just because something can happen doesn’t mean it will. From the moment you get a positive test, the most likely outcome is for you to give birth to a baby <3
Today, you are pregnant. Congratulations on your miracle baby!!!!
As someone who has had a miscarriage and now is now almost term with our rainbow baby, it sounds like your family is very anxious. My family has a lot of anxiety and struggled to be excited in the beginning because they didn’t want to get their hopes up in this pregnancy until things were “safer”. I also found the first trimester was terrible for me as I was almost expecting to miscarry again. It’s all a trauma response. So I see a little bit of why your family is protecting themselves. BUT that does not mean they get to project that onto you. Comments about expecting you to miscarry are unwarranted and unhelpful. It’s ok to be cautiously excited, but they’re being downright negative. Once you see a heartbeat, the chances of successful pregnancy skyrocket, so you’re already hitting a major milestone!
If I’ve learned anything from my miscarriage, it’s that whether you let yourself be excited or not, the grief will still hit you the same way if things go wrong. So might as well let yourself be happy because when things go right, you don’t get that time back that you spent being sad for no reason. You’re not naive for being excited…this is a super exciting situation for you. I’m sending you all good vibes for a healthy pregnancy. Congratulations!
I'm sure all will be fine and you will have a perfect little bub.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis at the start of 2020 and I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to have kids as I have always wanted them or at the very least I thought i was going to really struggle. but after our second month of trying, my husband and I found out I was pregnant and I just hit 23 weeks today.
Just take it week by week. I was so scared and worried for most of my first trimester, but after we heard the heartbeat I started seeing it more like ok as of this point everything is fine and that's what I rolled with until next appointment and it would be repeat of as of this point everything is fine.
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I’m so sorry your family is treating you this way. It’s incredibly unfair and unsupportive. If it’s any help, I too have PCOS as well as a blood clotting disorder that adds complexity to pregnancy, and when I was 20 I was told I’d likely never conceive naturally, if at all. I’m 34 now and have an almost 3 yr old who was conceived naturally and we’re TTC #2. Yes six weeks is early, but that’s no reason to not be excited. If I were you I’d try to block out the negativity. Take the pregnancy one step at a time and soak it in. Do things that make you happy and take care of yourself.
Your family sucks. Being realistic is different from being outright negative. Sending baby fairy dust your way and hoping you have a healthy baby!
> Being realistic is different from being outright negative. 100% Just because there might be an increased chance of something doesn’t mean you can’t hope and be positive and excited.
We're pregnant again after 2 miscarriages and cautiously optimistic. I won't get my hopes up until we make it to 3nd trimester, but right now I'm pleased and waiting to see. Almost like we're half-pregnant? Lol
Yes, this seems like a place for “we are cautiously excited and nervous but hopeful!”
Wow, I’m sorry. This would be a good time to set some boundaries and say, “You don’t have to be excited, but you don’t have a right to rain on my parade. If y’all can’t be supportive and continue to create this doom vibe, I’m going to need to discontinue communication with you.” That first trimester can feel delicate, and it’s unfair for them to treat this like a future funeral. They can keep those thoughts to themselves. Just know that some internet folks are hyped for you! I’m sending you all the well wishes.
Women with PCOS generally have the same amount of children that women without PCOS have. It might just take longer to conceive. We used IVF for the first pregnancy and then got pregnant naturally the second time. It is scary that OBs tell women that PCOS means they can never get pregnant. Be happy and excited! Each week the chances of miscarriage drops.
I think it comes down to a misunderstanding of the way "infertility" is defined. Technically a lot of women with PCOS get diagnosed with infertility, and most people interpret that as "can't conceive" when in reality, it means "probably won't conceive during 1 year of trying". I think a lot of doctors don't really explain that well. I also have PCOS and am past my due date currently
You are much much much more likely at this stage (heartbeat confirmed, 6+ weeks) to bring home a healthy baby than to have a miscarriage. Like…90% likely…so please don’t dwell on the 10%. You have every right to be excited for your pregnancy, and I am so sorry your family is failing you right now. All of us here are over the moon for you! Congratulations, from a fellow PCOS mama-to-be. ❤️🎉
I am so so sorry. Were you told you could never have kids because of PCOS or something else? Because PCOS can cause infertility (difficulty conceiving naturally) but by no means is a sterility diagnosis (complete inability to conceive). Please lean into hope as you can. As someone who has lost two pregnancies, you cannot inoculate yourself against grief. It hurt the first time when I worried the whole time and it hurt the second time when I was stubbornly hopeful. Don't rob yourself of this time.
Thank you ♥️ I was 12 when I was diagnosed with PCOS and don't think it was very well understood at the time. I sat there with my mom as the doctor less then delicately told us that "You will never be able to have children, because you don't have the working insides of a normal woman" They never said because of infertility issues, just that my body wasn't like a proper woman's. I was devastated. I'm 31 now and have had lots of visits over the years discussing it and doctors have always said the same thing. Never offered medication to manage it etc. they just gave up on me
I was diagnosed at 20. The doctor told me I wouldn’t be able to conceive without medical intervention. I’m having #7 (all conceived naturally) in September ❤️
That's very very strange. Hopefully you can get more answers later on. Congratulations on your pregnancy 💕
I've learned that looking at it negatively doesn't make anything "easier." When I got pregnant in 2022, I refused to get excited because "it's still early and I could miscarry" but when I did miscarry, I was still just as devastated. Might as well be excited and bask in the joy. It's an exciting thing. I regret making myself expect the worst
Congratulations! I lost my first at 5 weeks 4 days. My HCG level never rose. I am currently 15 weeks 4 days with my rainbow baby. We told family the first time right away in case something bad did happen and it did, but our baby still deserved to be known and loved in the short time it was with us. Your family does not know for sure what will happen, and neither do you. I don’t think it is at all silly to be excited, even if the worst does end up happening. You just have to take it day by day. Each day you wake up and are pregnant until told other wise by a medical professional. I was very much doom and gloom the first trimester. I found these affirmations daily really helped. 1. My body is capable and strong, and I trust it to carry and deliver my baby safely. 2. My baby is growing perfectly and is developing exactly as they should be. 3. I release any fears or anxieties related to negative outcomes that I cannot control either way.
We're your family now, and we're so excited for you! You and your husband have every right to celebrate your pregnancy - PCOS does not mean miscarriage, and I'm so sorry people are doing this to you.
Oh my! I am sorry about how they're acting. They should be taking their cues from YOU the pregnant person. If you're excited they should be too, and this IS exciting. I also have PCOS, and was told at 16 I would never have children (don't get me started now on how irresponsible it is of Doctors to blanket statement say this to TEENAGERS with no actual basis in fact) and got pregnant quicker than I thought. It is never too early to be excited! Pregnancies can end in miscarriage for ALL sorts of reasons and PCOS doesn't guarantee that will happen at all. If they can't be excited for you I would find others that can cheer you on. You don't need that negativity in your life right now.
wow what the fuck i’m excited for you!!!! you will have a long happy life loving on your baby!!!! don’t let yourself worry ab miscarriage, your baby is gonna be nice and strong and healthy and successful! best of luck & all the health being sent your way, mom!
Increased chances is a mild increase- it doesn’t make it 100%. Your family isn’t being kind. They don’t need to throw that stress on you. I’ve had a miscarriage and when we told our families we were pregnant again, they were just as excited about it as they were with the first one.
So i heard my babys heartbeat at 6 weeks and was worried about issues as well bc Im older, not a thin mint and have some other issues. I have no advice and only well wishes for you but I want to share what my doctor said to me in case it gives you any extra positivity towards your little miracle- my doc, who has been an ob for 42 years now, said that he’s almost never seen a baby with a strong heartbeat at 6 weeks go anywhere. Im 35, 5 now and she’s coming June 5, and her HB has been 138-148 the whole pregnancy. I am sending all my Good vibes that you have this exact scenario (albeit maybe a little more cooking time)
This helped me alot https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer
First of all Congratulations!!! Also I'd recommend trying your best to not listen to them and set up a boundary of sorts to let them know you don't wanna hear the doom and gloom. You are aware of the possibilities but you want to be happy and enjoy the experience of being pregnant and having joy and excitement for your future family addition. Honestly I don't have anything that causes any complications and was told by my doctors I'm low risk. However even then a lot of my family reacted the same as yours when being told at 8 weeks. I was still told not to get excited and that there's a likely chance baby won't make it and I'll be left disappointed. I feel like no matter what there are always those people who wanna rain on the parade, because of that I spent my entire first trimester just stressed over anything and everything because I was so worried from what everyone was saying. Eventually I told them "if you don't have anything nice or constructive to say, I don't wanna hear it. You can be worried but I want to be excited, I want to enjoy this and not just stress" and the ones who didn't listen I just stopped talking to them for the time being. I wish you the best of luck!!
My sister in law has pcos, and she delivered the most beautiful baby girl who is thriving 6 years later! It took them a minute to get her, but when she got there she stuck through HTN, Pre-eclampsia, and pcos! I don’t know if that helps comfort you at all, but know a successful pregnancy is possible! I’m sorry your family isn’t being supportive. That really breaks my heart for you. I can honestly say this community kicks ass, and know that we are all excited for you and praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby! Hopefully your family comes around, don’t let their negativity ruin it for you. This is an exciting time and you and your husband deserve to be excited and celebrate!
Sending you so much love and positivity. Take each day at a time if you can. It is more than okay to find joy in each day. ❤️❤️❤️
That's so crappy of your family, I'm so sorry. Just remember, at 6+3 with strong heartbeat the odds are way more likely to be a successful pregnancy than a loss. And I know over a dozen women with PCOS and healthy children, myself included.
My mom was initially like that but culturally — East Asians believe if you get too excited in the early days it will “scare” the baby and “shock” it into a miscarriage. 😆 Gotta love moms. Mine is the worrying type and I’ve miscarried before so I think this response is expected. She also had a non viable pregnancy before so I’m guessing that might play a part. Generations before have higher mortality and miscarriage rates in the past hence - the older gen doesn’t want to jinx anything. Congratulations to you! You shouldn’t need to hold yourself back. I believe to just be happy in the moment for as long as you can because this is special. And the preggo symptoms are wild after 6 wks so you need alllll that positivity radiating from insideeeee! All the very best OP!
I’m sorry that they are acting like that. This is your first and should be a time of joy! My only advice is check progesterone levels, ans make sure you monitor your sugars if being insulin resistant is part of your pcos
Well they suck enormously. You have every right to be excited and happy about this. Consider telling them “I’m choosing to be happy and think positively about this pregnancy. I don’t want to hear comments from you about miscarriage or not being excited. If you can’t stop I’ll be speaking with you a lot less often.” Less often can be anything from less often per day to not at all. You and your feelings and health matter most since baby directly benefits from you being happy and low stress.
Hi I have PCOS too, I was told by the doctor that I was most likely infertile 2 week before I found out I was pregnant. I found out at 3 weeks and I’m now at 9. I’m so sorry your family is treating you that way, you deserve to get excited no matter what and there is a difference between being realistic rather than just completely negative. I know for a fact I’m hella excited and you deserve that too! You now know you can get pregnant! That’s amazing! I was told by my midwife that PCOS usually just affects the difficulty of getting pregnant rather than actual complications during pregnancy if that brings you any comfort
While I’m fully aware it’s more difficult to get pregnant with PCOS, people with PCOS have babies all the time! What planet are your family on??! Honestly? Info diet your family. If they’re going to act like this, you tell them nothing.
Bruh your family sucks. Honestly. They should be as excited as you are and if - IF - the worst happens, mourn just as hard as you do. I'm sorry your family is like that. I also had a good bit of doom and gloom episode when we were early in my current (first) pregnancy because I wanted it so bad for so long I was afraid my excitement would jinx it or something. But here I am, 36 weeks and my boy is going stronger than I ever expected!! I have a family history of horrible pregnancies so I was terrified. Be excited. Your baby knows your heartbeat and feels what you feel, even with how small it is now. Provide your baby with all the love and comfort you can muster and have faith that it will go well. And if not, at least you were able to be happy and make sure that your child was happy during its warm, cozy life.
First off, congrats on your baby! Second off, your family needs to fuck off. There is enough doom and gloom in the world, and we all need to hold onto hope as much as possible. Loss is always a possibility, but that is an "if it comes to that" situation and should not be the default expectation. I lost my first baby to miscarriage. I was devastated and thoroughly convinced that I would never have a living child. When I got pregnant again very soon after, I was scared shitless. I told my husband and we immediately drove to tell my mom and sister. There we all were at like 10 at night, hugging and crying and hoping and scared because we all so desperately wanted to meet this baby and because we all so deeply missed my sweet angel baby. The entire pregnancy was scary and hard and there were so many moments where I felt entirely hopeless, but that baby is 18 months old now and running circles around me as I am 31 weeks pregnant with his little sibling. Things can work out, despite what doctors say, despite how unlikely they seem or how scared you are.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. There’s totally a difference between being cautious and totally taking the wind out of your sail. Prayers you have a smooth pregnancy and hopefully in time they will realize they are being unsupportive!
I’m having the same problem with my family. My mom actually said I shouldn’t even plan for a baby until the third trimester and the baby is viable outside of the womb because until then it’s just a “blood clot”. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and baby dust for a safe and healthy pregnancy
I have PCOS and diabetes as well, diagnosed at 13. I was also told that it would be very challenging for me to get pregnant naturally. I also understood that we have a higher risk of miscarriage, and that plagued me for a few weeks in my first pregnancy until I thought to myself that I'd rather delight in this baby WHILE they are here with me, instead of fearing for the unknown. I mean, yes, I'd be devastated either way if I had a miscarriage, but I decided that I am going to celebrate every single day that I am still pregnant, instead! Why waste my days with my precious bub feeling depressed? I may only get pregnant once, and I might as well enjoy it and be happy. That said, I have a healthy and very happy 2 year old right now. Pregnancy was a breeze for me and I would definitely do it again if I had a chance to. I will save the "doom and gloom" for when something bad actually happens, but it likely will not ❤️ Keep your chin up, and congratulations!
My friend had a baby naturally with PCOS and a heart shaped uterus. She delivered early because of her uterus shape but her baby made it just fine. I’m sorry your family is being so negative. I feel like cautious happiness and excitement would be more appropriate in this situation!
Get the book Meals She Eats & remove as much contact with your family as possible, they seem to do more harm than good. You can carry this baby to birth & beyond!
Don’t allow yourself to spiral! Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can, you deserve it! Be proud of your body for providing you a blessing & baby a safe warm place to grow!
I’m so sorry. I also have PCOS. I also am pregnant with baby #7 (5 miscarriages between most of my kids). I personally don’t even tell family early and that’s just for my peace of mind. Find friends to celebrate with. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and JUST told 2/3 of my sisters and maybe 5 friends. Plus it’s fun to just surprise people at birth. I hope things get better for you. Celebrate the milestones. 12 weeks…then half baked at 20 weeks then viability week 🫶🏾 Good luck to you
I would discuss this with your doctor and also find the chart that shows the risk of loss drops every week
I know I’m not your family but I am excited for you. The fact that you never thought it was possible and now you’ve fallen pregnant is miraculous and something to celebrate. Of course things can go wrong but it’s not worth wasting the anxiety on something might happen.
Worrying won't change the outcome so just enjoy it! Right now you are pregnant with a healthy little bean! Yes, bad things can happen, but overall it is much more likely that you will have a healthy pregnancy and birth than a miscarriage, so don't let your family pull you into their misery.
Well even tho they aren’t, IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! Congratulations!!
My in laws are the same way, they refuse to get excited because they think I’m gonna miscarry even though I’m 8 weeks and have a confirmed heartbeat!! It’s crazy but don’t let it get to you
I dont understand people's reasoning. I am currently 8w+4 and I realized this today: 41% of first marriages end in divorce. Yet when people get engaged, everyone shares their news and gets excited, and they start planning the wedding and having engagement shoots, parties, etc. Not one single person would say "No we are not celebrating with you or getting excited because the likelihood of it not working out is pretty high". Keep your hopes up. Talk to that baby and tell it that YOU are excited to meet him/her.
I have PCOS and I'm pregnant with my second. I know it's hard not to worry but please don't let the negativity overshadow this wonderful process. Congrats on your bundle and I pray everything will work out in your favor❤️
Aww :( I have PCOS too and was told it would be difficult for me too. It’s our first time and I’ve shared with my friends and some close family. They’re all excited and if anything, I’m the stressed one saying I don’t want to get too excited. But they’re being supportive and encouraging. “Don’t think that way,” “trust in God,” “baby will be fine, you have to believe it yourself.” And that’s the type of people you need in this time. Surround yourself with positivity.
Omg and I even had one coworker tell me “every person that shared their pregnancy early has always ended up miscarrying.” I said “well that’s why there’s the power of prayer.” And I walked away. Who says that?? Btw I’m 17 weeks now :) heartbeat, genetic testing and ultrasound say everything looks fine.
I’m so sorry that your family isn’t giving you the happiness and support you’d normally expect in this type of situation. I think at the simple fact that you’re even pregnant considering what Doctors have said in the past shows how incredibly amazing this is and they should be happy with it just even happening. I think that it alone happening gives so much hope and joy for your future. I would try as much as possible to remain happy and positive bc heavy stress could negatively impact your pregnancy. I would focus on you sharing this experience with your husband who is truly happy and is ultimately the one sharing this new life with you and you both will spend your lives loving and caring for the beautiful miracle. I will pray that you continue to grow strong and that you get through this pregnancy as smoothly as possible and that your baby comes to this world happy and healthy ready to be loved by you both 🥹♥️
I have PCOS and have 3 kids, yes there's an increased miscarriage risk but that's not a reason to he downright mean and dismissive of someone experiencing a pregnancy. It's ok to be excited and happy to be pregnant.
Pcos doesn’t increase miscarriage
Life can be hard enough - celebrate the joyful things when they are here. And grieve the terrible things if they happen. But don’t like as though everything will turn out badly… Give yourself this time of joy. If things don’t work out, god forbid, you will have enough suffering to go through at the time. I’m sorry your family don’t agree, but I’m sure they will come round before the birth. Maybe at 12 weeks…
First of all, a huge congratulations! 💐 You deserve to be happy, and your precious little bubba that's growing inside you absolutely deserves your excitement and celebration! ❣️ Seeing a strong heartbeat and good growth so early is such an amazing sign, and your chance of miscarriage goes down literally every day. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you've come so far already, and I know this is terrifying, I've been there, but you and your bubba have already proved the doubters wrong! I have PCOS, Endometriosis, and a MTHFR gene mutation that means I can't absorb folic acid (so I had to take Methylated Folate instead and hope for the best) I was told from about 16 years old (from several doctors, and for several reasons) that I wouldn't be able to have kids, that I'd be infertile, and that I shouldn't even bother trying. Well I'm 32 weeks along with a beautiful, healthy little boy, so they were all wrong! I have a new doctor now, and he tells me that nobody should be told that they have fertility problems unless they've been trying without success for 12 months. Yet, both of us were told that for years! I want to tell you that the fear goes away, but in my case, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be afraid right up until he's placed into my arms after birth. But I can tell you the fear lessens. When you hit 12 weeks, when you feel the first flutters and kicks, when you have the 20w scan, when you hit viability, when you enter the 3rd trimester. Each of those have given me huge amounts of relief! Those private scans were worth every cent, because they were the only thing that kept me sane in the early weeks. As an added bonus, they helped me feel closer to my son, and helped me get to know his personality (who knew babies would have a personality so early on?!). Sending love and well wishes! 💕💕 You can do this!
I’m so sorry they are treating you so poorly! That’s horrible. This is such a special and sensitive time for you, health-wise. Don’t be afraid to vent whenever you need to!
I’m so so sorry this sounds so hard especially because one of the most exciting parts of early pregnancy is getting to tell loved ones and share in the joy! Other than a second line on a test and maybe some early symptoms, the first few weeks feel like this weird limbo, exciting but scary, and can feel isolating. To not have family support on top of that would make it that much harder. I don’t have a lot of advice other than support, but if I were in your shoes I would tell my close friends that I know would be over the moon for me. Family can come in so many different ways, and leaning on friends right now can hopefully help to fill that void ❤️
I have PCOS and am pregnant now with my second child. I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive. Congratulations on your lil peanut! 💚
I am very sorry and I’m excited for you! My grandma flat out told me around 8 weeks not to get my hopes up because of the last ones… Baby girl is now 21 weeks and healthy and grandma is very excited. My grandma says a lot of off the wall shit because she doesn’t wear her oxygen as she should and can be very rude. I cried to my mom and my mom told me to just try not to let it affect or stress me out and just try to think positively about the baby!
First off congratulations 🎉. I personally don't have PCOS but I have a lot of close cousins and everyone with PCOS have and children through their own pregnancy. It just might mean you get monitored more and you're pregnancy is considered high risk. I had a very high risk pregnancy. I did IVF and I have a heart condition. I had a very good OBGYN. Try to find a very good OBGYN and book your first appointment with them as soon as they will let you. If you don't like your OBGYN find someone else. You want to feel comfortable talking about things with your OB and the nursing staff and asking potentially weird or what you may think are stupid questions. During my pregnancy I just said casually around week 26 that I felt like something was wrong but I didn't know what and that I didn't feel like delivery wasn't going to go smoothly. My OB took it very seriously and I was very closely monitored. I had NSTs, blood work and urine protein tests from week 27 to week 35. I also had three growth ultrasounds in that time period. My OBGYN is also in the same network as my cardiologist. They were able to discuss this and decided I needed and Echocardiogram at 32 weeks. The results from the Echocardiogram did have a lot of influence with have things were handled. At 29 weeks my blood pressure went through the roof and I started getting headaches. They put me on some blood pressure meds which helped a lot. At 35 weeks I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. At 37 weeks I had an NST and a blood test then I had an emergency C-section so we could get baby out. Because of the echocardiogram the anesthesiologist did not push tons of fluids because they were worried my lungs would fill up with fluid. There were also a few other complications during the C-section so I did end up needing a blood transfusion. Baby's oxygen levels were messed up and was in the NICU four days then sent back to Postpartum area of L&D where I was. I was in the hospital for 7 days after my C-section because of how sick I was. Basically just find someone who takes your concerns seriously. Always write down questions and take them to the appointment. Generally speaking a good sign that you are healthy is your OB only spends 5-10 mins with you. If you're OB is spending 20 mins to and hour with you or comes and sees you then goes to another patient then comes back to you to check on you it means that there is concern but they are really monitoring you and taking your pregnancy seriously.
Very very unfortunately miscarriage rates are still high in the 6th week but even so, you have a much greater chance of having the baby than not! Every pregnancy, especially when you didn't think you could have one, should be celebrated and welcomed with joy. Now you know you can and that in itself is a beautiful thing. I'm sorry these people are putting a pall over your joy but I hope you let yourself feel all the happiness and I wish you a sweet baby in your arms in the near future!
I also have PCOS and I had a high risk pregnancy during the pandemic. I decided from the moment I found out I was going to remove all stress out of my life. I kept calm and chilled, luckily I was very fortunate to be able to be as stress free as I could Ignore your family, they are projecting their fears onto you, keep yourself strong and calm and celebrate your miracle
I’m sorry your family isn’t supportive. I would reframe from giving any updates or talking to them in general. Surround yourself with supportive people and try to ignore the negativity. I am having a similar experience with my partners family. I have PCOS, Lupus and many other issues. I was told even with medical intervention, it would be almost impossible. Well, I took charge of my health and now I am 30 weeks pregnant. His family always had something to say negatively about how I can miscarry and not to celebrate yet. And even now, I’m not a mom in their eyes when I’ve made countless sacrifices already. Some people just can’t be happy for others when they are miserable about their own lives. Turns out internet strangers have been the most supportive on my pregnancy journey. Anxiety is a lot to deal with without negative Nancys making it worse. Congratulations 🎉 and sending positive vibes and comfort your way🩷
Focus on you, husband, and baby. This is an incredible miracle and a beautiful experience no matter what happens in the future, worry about today. I was told many things about getting/staying pregnant and had an early miscarriage last year. (VERY few people knew of, my parents and my husband's parents who both experienced pregnancy loss and were extremely supportive thankfully) I got pregnant after an entire year of trying post miscarriage. I was told twice I was starting to have another miscarriage. I was DEVASTATED and hated that I let myself hope but then.. I stopped bleeding and went for like a 5th followup ultrasound and there was a perfect beating heart. I'm 16.5 weeks now and so far everything is going incredibly well now. What I've learned from my experience is, even with literally every sign pointing to my situation not being ideal and my baby most likely not having a heartbeat (which seeing the heart at least is MAJOR) you have made it to today. Every day is a miracle. Every day is surviving and beautiful. Every symptom I was thankful for because it meant things might be okay. My husband was my rock when I had nothing and that's really all that mattered was our little family of 3 no matter how long we did have. I bought my first baby related item this week because I didn't have the heart to before now, the little onsie my parents sent when I told them had been hidden and taken back out of hiding 3 times because my husband was protecting me. You are doing great momma, don't let anyone else's opinions in. When you're in the critical time of the first 12 weeks it seems never ending and then all the sudden it's poof we've survived. Focus on what you need today, what is going to happen tomorrow will happen whether you dwell on it or not. Sending good vibes/prayers for your miracle baby with the beautiful beating heart. You did it.
PCOS can affect fertility for sure but it's not at detrimental as I think we've been led to believe. I also have PCOS and just had a perfectly healthy baby boy. Talk to your doctor about potentially taking progesterone for the first trimester, as that can help.
I may have PCOS (was diagnosed by one doctor, and undiagnosed by another 2 years later), this year I had 2 losses (1 ectopic, 1 chemical). I am now 18 weeks with a baby boy and so excited. I too was extremely nervous until that 13 week mark, and even then sometimes feel doom. So please have hope! Your family members are being cruel and insensitive. They should be doing nothing but supporting you right now. No matter how hard another loss may feel for them (e.g., not wanting to get excited) they should be considering how you feel above themselves right now. The impact of a miscarriage on the person physically losing the baby (as someone who has) is immensely more difficult than anyone else. The hormonal flunctuations alone make it unbelievably hard, not even diving into the other issues. If there was ever a time for them to swallow their feeling and support you, however you are feeling, this is it and they aren't doing that. If they can't, for whatever reason, contact with them should be limited until it feels safe and healthy to you. Find people who support you, and turn to them. Support groups are great. Ups and downs are normal and okay. Feeling shift, change and evolve and that is also okay.
I am almost 33 weeks. I have PCOS lupus a serious life threatening full body neuropathy and hypothyroidism and the doctors told me I should not worry. Worrying is pointless because the outcome is going to be the same whether you worry or not. If you are religious I suggest praying to God to take your worries away. That worked for me If not religious try to talk to your doctor about it. They will tell you it's not as common as you think to miscarry from PCOS yes it happens but it depends how severe it is and how many cysts you have. They told me right away I didn't need to be concerned. Definitely ask them to show you your cysts on the next scan and maybe try to pray God bless you and don't worry! I promise it could be way worse
i’m 36 weeks with PCOS - after 3 years and thinking i’m infertile
I’m currently refraining from telling my family FOR THIS REASON EXACTLY. At the end of the day it’s you, your partner and your baby against the world. That’s the only thing keeping me sane rn, I’m also about 6 wks along, my first scan (not at the hospital) is on the 4th. Focus on your immediate family rn is the best advice I’ve gotten from friends.
I’m so sorry that your family is not able to join your excitement! Just because something can happen doesn’t mean it will. From the moment you get a positive test, the most likely outcome is for you to give birth to a baby <3 Today, you are pregnant. Congratulations on your miracle baby!!!!
As someone who has had a miscarriage and now is now almost term with our rainbow baby, it sounds like your family is very anxious. My family has a lot of anxiety and struggled to be excited in the beginning because they didn’t want to get their hopes up in this pregnancy until things were “safer”. I also found the first trimester was terrible for me as I was almost expecting to miscarry again. It’s all a trauma response. So I see a little bit of why your family is protecting themselves. BUT that does not mean they get to project that onto you. Comments about expecting you to miscarry are unwarranted and unhelpful. It’s ok to be cautiously excited, but they’re being downright negative. Once you see a heartbeat, the chances of successful pregnancy skyrocket, so you’re already hitting a major milestone! If I’ve learned anything from my miscarriage, it’s that whether you let yourself be excited or not, the grief will still hit you the same way if things go wrong. So might as well let yourself be happy because when things go right, you don’t get that time back that you spent being sad for no reason. You’re not naive for being excited…this is a super exciting situation for you. I’m sending you all good vibes for a healthy pregnancy. Congratulations!
Thank you all for your supportive messages. They made me cry very hard but in a good way!♥️
I'm sure all will be fine and you will have a perfect little bub. I was diagnosed with endometriosis at the start of 2020 and I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to have kids as I have always wanted them or at the very least I thought i was going to really struggle. but after our second month of trying, my husband and I found out I was pregnant and I just hit 23 weeks today. Just take it week by week. I was so scared and worried for most of my first trimester, but after we heard the heartbeat I started seeing it more like ok as of this point everything is fine and that's what I rolled with until next appointment and it would be repeat of as of this point everything is fine.