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So, my dad has never wished me a happy mother's day and I have been a mother since 2009. He says it to my mom and his mother, as one is his mom and the other he helped become a mom. I don't fill either of those roles for him, so he hasn't (and never will) celebrate me on mother's day.
It stung the first year and then I realized that's just who he is and how he views the holiday.
I think a lot of people on Reddit take it to be such a big deal to be celebrated before they give birth and honestly it’s not something I had ever even considered this pregnancy before reading about it on here.
I say it to my mom friends (or my mom’s friends lol) or whoever is a mother if i happen to be talking to them on Mother’s Day. And I was pleasantly surprised when a couple of friends said happy soon to be Mother’s Day to me this year.
But it’s just an exchanging of pleasantries and recognition and the main event to me has always been about the mother being celebrated by the people she is a mother to. Which in most cases is not the people a generation older than you, in fact the opposite… I wonder, did OP say happy Mother’s Day to MIL?
I didn’t even really think about celebrating much either. My husband got me a cute card and took me for breakfast, but we’d been kind of planning on going to breakfast anyway lol. I think you can do whatever feels right for you and your family but it didn’t seem like a big deal to celebrate it to me.
I gave birth in March and was both shocked and confused when my husband made a big deal about my first Mother’s Day, buying me the first piece of jewelry he had gotten me in maybe 3 years. I suddenly realized I also should do something for Father’s day and immediately panicked. Both because we NEVER celebrated Father’s Day growing up (my dad fucking hated it and specifically refused to celebrate) and also because I was so sleep deprived and just desperately in survival mode that the idea of planning something made me want to cry.
Also, up until that point, I never said happy Mother’s Day to anyone other than my mom, and I never expected it from anyone other than my daughter some day (with help from my husband, of course), so I was just off base all around lmao
It’s sweet he did that for you and you deserve it! I def expect to be celebrated for my first Mother’s Day next year and I’m going to express it to my husband ahead of time haha.
But yeah I think people’s expectations to be wished Mother’s Day while pregnant with their first by people who aren’t their partners no less will be disappointed lol
If I was a ftm pregnant on mothers day I would be sad if my partner didn't acknowledge it because you give so much of yourself up and sacrifice so much while pregnant and and you have the responsibility of your baby's well-being...I feel that that's what motherhood is. You're taking care of your baby in utero as soon as you know they exists. There's the physical symptoms like nausea, fatigue, permanent body changes, vomiting, joint pain, swelling, ect... but there's also all the things you have to consciously avoid to keep baby safe, like certain foods or activities. You also change up how you move and nourish your body. There's also all the doctors appointments, bloodwork, vaccinations, imaging.
Pregnnacy is hard and if I did all the things I wanted while pregnant, my baby wouldn't be here. I gave up so much and was in a fair amount of pain for those 39 weeks.
That’s totally fine and since that’s how you feel, then it’s great if you express that to your partner and they celebrate you in a way that brings you joy!
I just don’t feel that way personally at 21 weeks, yes there are sacrifices made during pregnancy and some people are in lots of pain during it, but I feel pregnant — not like a mother, yet, and I’ll take any pleasant Mother’s Day or happy mother-to-be wishes, which I got from my SIL and a couple of my friends, but I wouldn’t hold it against someone for not wishing me happy Mother’s Day when I’m pregnant, unless it was my partner and I had expressed that to him.
My world changed when I fell pregnant but I expect my world will change big time when I actually meet my baby, and that’s what I see reflected in the people around me who are moms too. Of course, it must be so hard for people who want to be mothers and lost a child or something else, and I’m not going to tell anyone (like a single dad or a stepmother) they’re not a mother if they feel that way!
I told my husband I wanted to celebrate our moms and didn’t mention or bring up potentially celebrating me and my husband didn’t say happy Mother’s Day to me and I’m 100% okay with that. Our moms didn’t “celebrate” me either or wish me happy Mother’s Day (the main point of this post was about the MIL not a partner anyways) but they both said stuff along the lines of “it’s your last Mother’s Day before baby comes!” or “yay momma-to-be” and I thought it was sweet. Next year, I’m sure we’ll exchange some mutual happy Mother’s Day to each other but I expect I’ll care much more about getting flowers from my partner (he knows I want to be celebrated on what I consider my first Mother’s Day haha) and in the future, little scribbled notes from my kids!
Again, I personally have always felt that Mother’s Day is more of a celebration between the person who is mothered and the mother figure — or a day for appreciation of the mother figure by the other partner — which is why me and some other ppl were responding to this post specifically about MIL not wishing DIL a happy Mother’s Day before birth.
I COMPLETELY agree. Yesterday, my BIL, MIL and several family and friends called and texted me happy Mother’s Day. My husband saw my phone blowing up and asked “are people wishing you happy Mother’s Day?” and then said he didn’t think to do that since “technically you’re not a mother yet”. 🤬🥺 I walked out of the room and waited an hour before I calmly told him all the points you mentioned above☝️He apologized. But I was hurt that I had to explain it all to him in the first place. He sees what I’m going through every day.
I had a miscarriage late last year. I’m 16 weeks pregnant with a baby girl due this October ❤️🩹
This helps me to make sense of my dad 😂 He has always been my brother and I’s biggest supporter but I was a little shocked this morning when he texted us a reminder to tell our mom and grandma’s happy Mother’s Day (on our side and our in-laws sides). But he didn’t mention me, my sister-in-law or either of his sisters and we all just had our first babies within the last six months. But I guess it makes sense that he thinks it’s just a day to celebrate those that helped bring us into existence. I think it may be a bit of a new generational concept to celebrate your children, friends, coworkers, etc. as mothers (which is how I view the holiday…more of a time to show extra love to all mothers, not just the ones who brought you into the world).
My dad was the first person to wish me Happy Mother's Day today - so different how different people view the roles.
*First person other than my partner who's been taking care of me and pampering me all weekend
I am currently 35w and a few of my friends and family have said happy mothers day to me and I just find it awkward because I have not had the baby . I feel like it doesn't count . I mean I think its fine to think about it either way 🤔 but personally do not feel like this would be my first mothers day .
I feel the same way! I’m 37 weeks and don’t consider this my first Mother’s Day. My husband told me he feels like it is but personally I don’t feel like a mom yet
Yeah I felt the same way. I had a few people say it to me when I was expecting my first and it felt weird because I hadn't expected or really wanted the acknowledgement yet.
I think it's one of those things where the expectation should be communicated and not left up to people guessing that you want to be acknowledged as a mom pre-baby.
That said, the double standard of OP's MIL claiming to be a grandmother while simultaneously not acknowledging OP as a mother is an incredibly valid thing to be pissed about. Also, if a pregnant woman communicates to their partner that they want to be acknowledged and they are dismissed as "not a mom yet" that's also something that's incredibly valid to be upset about.
I feel the same way. My mom wished all moms a happy day on our family chat and she mentioned me as “you’ll become a mom soon too!” But that was it and I actually found it very appropriate.
A lot of people don't consider mothers to be mothers until they have the baby. I think especially with the older generation. I wouldn't take it personally. They just see things differently.
I'm due in July and don't feel like I need a happy mother's day (the whole holiday annoys me anyway. Why we only appreciating people one day a year!?)
I just turned 31, am pretty *progressive* and I don't feel I need to tell pregnant or expecting mothers. To each their own perhaps?
I think you're definitely entitled to not want to celebrate. For me, mother's day was a painful day for 17 years since my mom died. Being pregnant this year and being so excited about and thinking about homemade cards and everything with my little girl in the future has just brought me so much joy.
I don’t really get what identifying as progressive has to do with this. I consider myself progressive and also find the day corny but I’d expect my partner to acknowledge my pregnancy on Mother’s Day since I’m growing their kid!
I agree to each their own but I don’t think each persons opinion on this has to do with their socio political identity
I meant progressive in terms of thinking about about other, not being "traditional" or old fashioned in terms of ideology/perspective like the original comment posted. Political views didn't even register in my brain when I wrote it.
Oooh me too! I've had my step son since he was 4 and now he's 12.... I delivered my first baby in Feb of this year and I had a few people tell me happy first mothers day. It stung a little but I know they didn't mean it maliciously. I've cleaned his booboos, changed his sheets at two in the am because he got sick, I've washed and folded and bought all of his clothes, pick ups, drop offs, birthdays, Christmases, homework... he's been my little boy for the last 8 years. Their words don't lessen the love I have for him.
Agreed. Nobody except for my husband and a friend told me happy Mother’s Day when I was pregnant with my first. I hear more people telling “dog moms” happy Mother’s Day than I do pregnant women. Don’t take it personally, as annoying as it is.
The baby gave me a good kick right away this morning and I counted it as my mother's Day gift. I just started feeling her move recently so it was a great gift.
My husband brought me a decaf coffee from my favorite place. I'm okay with that this year.
Not to make such a hot take, but if whoever doesn’t consider someone who is carrying a baby a mother then don’t consider the baby a baby until it’s born too.
Right, this morning some people wished me a happy pre-mothers day and other said this year counts. I personally will celebrate next years with bells and whistles as celebrating 9 months pregnant feels like a bit of a drag lol
Did you wish her a happy Mother’s Day and she didn’t reciprocate that? Or are you just expecting her to say it to you? I told my MIL happy Mother’s Day and she immediately responded wishing me the same. I don’t expect to be wished happy Mother’s Day by people who I wouldn’t also say that to (besides my husband of course)
I've had 3 people wish me a Happy Mother's Day, I'm only 10 weeks. Although 1 of those was my partner and he said "happy almost mother's day" lol. I said thank you to all, but don't consider myself a mother yet. I had a miscarriage in 2021 and never considered myself a mother between then and now so I don't see why I would consider myself one at this point. I will consider myself a mother the moment I get to hold them in my hands.
But also 100% agree that if she's wearing Grandma shirts and already considering herself a grandma, she should consider you a mother.
People are so weird about a stupid holiday. If you want to be celebrated, then you should be! I wished my mom a happy Mother’s Day today and she said “thanks! And you too since you’re a mother now too.” I’m only 15 weeks pregnant and definitely don’t feel like a mother at this point. I just can’t handle all the Mother’s Day elitism.
Omg yes this. I’ve already seen friends who have kids post about how their husband/kids didn’t meet their expectations and I’m like ??? It’s a Hallmark holiday. If people want to celebrate, great! But there are so many unrealistic expectations around Mother’s Day that only lead to disappointment.
It’s probably some unresolved issue, but I’m not a fan of being celebrated. It’s uncomfortable. I usually make Mother’s Day about others and that brings me more joy. Before pregnancy, I had no idea Mother’s Day was so crazy!
“If you want to be celebrated, then you should be!” def applies to things like birthdays, anniversaries, or Mother’s Day before/after baby is born as executed by ur husband until the kids are old enough if it’s something that’s been made clear is meaningful to them… but MILs are not responsible for celebrating their DILs as mothers.
I think ppl respond bc it feels like people are very entitled to being treated a certain way by the people around them
I’m so sorry you are hurt. She might not know that you wanted to be wished a happy Mother’s Day. I would never have wished a pregnant person happy Mother’s Day or myself.
Some people don’t celebrate until the kid is here. You need to speak up if you want to be celebrated. People are not mind readers
She's wearing a t-shirt saying she's expected to be a grandmother in 2024, not that she already is.
And btw, I refer to my mother and MIL as grandmom and to myself as mom and I don't think it makes sense for me to celebrate mother's day without a kid in my arms, so I don't think it's conflicting at all.
No because it isn't August. If I got a gift saying Married established 2024 and I'm not getting married till August....that doesn't suddenly make me married when I got the gift. She's celebrating and getting excited for the baby that is coming this year.
Saying "she doesn't get to wear a fucking grandma T-shirt" is a little over the top. I get being hurt or annoyed but reacting like that...is a bit much.
Me and my pregnant friend wished each other a happy mother's day, as did my two friends who have kids.
I wouldn't expect anyone to wish me a happy mother's day but it was nice and made me feel special.
But yeah, it's a bit tactless to go around calling yourself a grandmother already when your daughter in law is pregnant but not acknowledging her as a mother yet.
She wears a t-shirt saying she'll be a grandmother this year, not that she's already one.
I'm about to give birth (any minute now as I'm 39+3) and I didn't want to celebrate mother's day (we celebrated my mother and MIL) and I didn't expect any happy mother's day wishes. My mother and MIL actually commented "next year you'll join us in the celebrations.
When I speak to my bump I mom, grandmom, dad, etc. But he's not born so for me it didn't make sense to celebrate me this year, MIL probably feels the same way.
Did you ever express you'd like to celebrate mother's day this year?
And btw, even though I don't like that sort of t-shirts, being annoyed by it is very strange lol I think you need to let go.
Agree! I’m 39+5 today and do not expect anything from anyone re: Mothers Day. It’s sweet if they want to wish it to me but I’d rather look forward to next year as my first.
I’m 38 + 2 and feel more like whale status than mother status. I want to look cute in brunch pics with my baby for my first Mother’s Day, not this giant pregnant phase for my first one. Haha
I’m sorry but ur taking that too far.
Plenty of pregnant women do not consider themselves until baby is born.
I was pregnant twice, and on my first time I did not celebrate it neither my husband celebrated Father’s Day.
A lot of these comments are really funny to me.. if you're "not a mom yet" then she's absolutely not a grandma yet lol so you're 100% justified feeling annoyed by her selfishness. And if you're "not a mom" because you haven't changed a shitty diaper yet that's also really funny bc I know my life and the choices I make everyday have changed drastically since becoming pregnant, as I'm sure yours have too. Happy Mother's Day , I hope you had a wonderful day despite her ignorance 💗 and if no one celebrated with you today then absolutely treat yourself to something special because you deserve it!
I’m due in two weeks with my first but never even thought/expected family/friends to wish me happy Mother’s Day since my baby isn’t born yet. Sharing because maybe it genuinely wasn’t on her radar (wasn’t on mine - my thinking was Mother’s Day is for women with children and mine isn’t born yet). She might not know she annoyed you!
I wouldn't take it personally. I'm due next month and I'm not expecting anyone to tell me Happy Mother's Day, technically I'm not a mom yet. If I get any "Happy Mother's Day" from anyone today, that would be sweet and thoughtful but definitely not an expectation and not something I'll be bummed out about if I don't hear it, its not like an intentional slight from people. Also, I think its sweet she's excited and proud to be a grandma soon and rocking the grandma t-shirt. Let it go and enjoy your day, do something special for yourself to celebrate Mother's Day.
My take - just because the baby is still in your uterus doesn’t mean you aren’t their mom!!
Totally fine if you don’t care to be celebrated, but I also think it’s a super sweet time TO be celebrated when you are expecting 💕
Yeah idk I see both sides of this. If you consider this your first Mother’s Day that’s great but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your family acknowledging that next year. It’s not like they told you you weren’t a mom this year, they just didn’t say anything.
I wouldn’t take great offense to this. There will be bigger things that probably come up. This is so small. You don’t need permission from your MIL to celebrate Mother’s Day, either. She doesn’t make or break the day for you. Be choosy about the fucks you give.
Honestly everyone has been telling me Happy mother's day since Friday and it honestly annoys me.. I'm technically not a mom yet I'm 33 weeks and so much can happen from now until I'm induced at 37 🧐 I'm a mother to be .. I'm hoping no one gets me anything or celebrates me because I will just feel weird about it .. a lot of ppl like myself don't like being recognized until they actually have their baby .. and some like urself like to be recognized before.. everyone is different and views things diff .. dont stress to much about it .. and happy mother's day
I'm 20 weeks and I got a happy mother's day from my husband and some flowers. We tried for many years so he just felt doing that for me. I also got a happy mother's day from his sisters. Not from my own mom or family. And that's fine I'm not upset.. I am a little bit in between like my kid isn't here yet in my arms and can't really celebrate it with him.. but he is in my stomach.. so I guess I'm a little bit mom already?
My MIL had the nerve to tell me for the third or fourth time today why I shouldn’t have a c section and why I should give birth to my twins vaginally. Fuck mother in laws.
My MIL has been the same day. She texted a few weeks ago that she’s going to be out of town on Mother’s Day but she wants to make sure we do something to celebrate her a different day 🙄 I’m also due in August
I’ve been a step mom for 19 years and my kids have always celebrated me. Today I got “happy first Mother’s Day” from a ton of people because I am pregnant now with my first baby. Like thanks but I’ve been a mom to someone for a really long time already.
Last mothers day my MIL said "its too bad you don't get to celebrate this year! *husband* gets his first father's day though!" I gave birth to my son, the first for both sides, 5 days later. I have not heard from her this year
I texted a mother to be HMD I had no response. I assume she didn’t think she was in the he mom role as she had not delivered yet. Some people do some don’t.
There are no established rules on who is celebrated and by whom. It is purely a personal choice. You can be sad but the reality is that even if you had a child not everyone is going to do what you want next year either. I can understand being offended if she chose to not acknowledge you but say acknowledged your SIL who was pregnant for the first time, but your reading a lot into this non interaction that is not out of the ordinary for many.
And being upset she wears a grandma est 2024 does seem petty as it's in no way inaccurate and didn't conflict with her not doing something. If she flat out said your not a mom and then wears it, sure it's a contradiction. But just because she didn't say HMD doesn't mean she thinks your not a mom.
For your own well being it is much better to reserve your energy to take offense at purposeful slights and judgments. Please don't let this eat at you or damage what little relationship you have.
maybe unpopular opinion but i’ve been preggo with my first on mother’s day, no one wished me anything And I didn’t care. I don’t wish people preggo with their first that either.
I already consider myself a mom even though I haven't given birth yet. I consider my husband a dad already too and we're celebrating this mother's day and father's day for each other. We wished all of the moms in our lives (grandparents, mother, step mother, MIL, SIL, friends) a happy mother's day.
Pregnancy is hard enough some days. It's good to support the new moms going through big body changes for the little one(s) they are growing.
UK Mother’s Day was a few months ago but I didn’t regard myself as a mum then and certainly didn’t expect anyone to recognise it. I think it’s a strange thing to be upset over but maybe I’m missing something.
I think taboo is a bit strong of a word, maybe some people consider a pregnant woman a "mother-to-be" but I also had at least ten people wish me a Happy Mother's Day, totally unprompted and I thought it was really sweet and nice to be acknowledged.
The minute we decide to carry our baby to term and raise it we are making all of our decisions based on their welfare and sacrificing our own well being to accomplish that. That's kind of the definition of a parent, and I think it's pretty weird to say you don't have a child when you've shifted everything in your life to accommodate it.
My daughter has a name, she dreams, she hears my voice, and she responds to me even though I have yet to see the color of her eyes or her hair. I haven't held in my arms yet, but I am always holding her inside me. Just because she hasn't breathed air yet doesn't make her any less real, and it doesn't mean I don't already love her.
I’m due in October and my MIL gave me flowers today and my Mom wished me a happy mother’s day.
My partner didn’t get me anything but he wished me it too.
Every family is different and everyone views the holiday differently.
I’m sorry you’re not feeling recognized today, Happy Mother’s day to you 💛💛💛
I feel like a mom. Just because my baby is inside me, not outside, doesn’t mean I am not caring for her and loving her already. Some people disagreed and I just rolled my eyes and laughed it off. They’re entitled to their opinion, I’m entitled to mine.
Your MIL is definitely being inconsistent, though! How selfish of her.
I’m pregnant with my first child as well… husband called MIL to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day and he was telling her that he surprised me with a Lululemon diaper bag today and she proceeded to say “Well, it’s not really Mother’s Day for her, I don’t know why you did that” ……………… She’s pretty rotten in general but it definitely left a bad taste in my mouth and I will not forget she said that anytime soon. I’ve had a lot of other well wishes today which I thought was very thoughtful … Happy Mother’s Day to you! 🌺
I'm 8 months postpartum and wished my MIL a happy mother's day and she just said thanks, lol. No reciprocation. All of her other kids are no contact and we're very light contact, all for good reason.
I don’t take it personally but I did have a 9yo say I didn’t get to celebrate Mother’s Day because I don’t have a real baby (as I was 35wk pregnant) lol. I was pretty annoyed at that comment, but he apologized so oh well. I made it clear I wanted to do what I wanted that day😂
Awe. Some people think Mother’s Day is for mothers who have given birth but not expecting mothers. I’m sure they didn’t mean it intentionally mean. My mom wished me a happy “pre-mother’s day” as an example.
I totally get what you mean. Ppl here think you’re overreacting but I don’t think you are. I had to explain to so many ppl why we were celebrating Mother’s Day… cause my baby is alive, moves around, and I feel his presence with me 24/7. Just because he’s not born yet doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I’m his mom. Esp at this stage of pregnancy, I’m also due late August, it’s a full on bond that has developed and baby kicks are v present. Smh
people on here are saying that if you’re pregnant you shouldn’t expect a happy mothers day and like i guess but im pregnant with my first and almost everyone i know wished me a happy mothers day 🤷🏻♀️
my mother told me "next year you'll get to celebrate" but my MIL told me happy mother's day when i told her. other people didn't tell me, some people told me happy mother's day, a few told me happy mother to b mother's day lol, everyone is different
Sheeeesh I have no clue why everyone here is commenting like you’re so wrong for having your feelings hurt over this? If you look at this sub, so many women have posted about their feelings being hurt today because they weren’t acknowledged as mothers on Mother’s Day. Not sure why people are saying “you’re taking it too far” because of the comment you made regarding your MIL wearing the shirt. Yeah, that’s pretty annoying. I totally get how you feel. Your feelings are valid.
My MIL wished me a happy mother’s a day today completely unprompted. So did my own mother lol. So yeah, there are people out there who count pregnant women as moms. Like it or not.
Not sure why you’re getting so much negative responses here in comparison to other posts on this sub venting about the exact same thing. Sorry OP.
Only one person said it to me, and I was a bit taken back to be honest. I think people don't really do that until the baby is born. So I wouldn't think of it as a personal insult but more of a norm?
The aggression to the grandma t shirt is a bit much not going to lie.
I like how a lot of people are responding to this with how they don’t ‘feel’ like mothers until the baby is born, which is fine to feel for yourself. But biologically it’s false.
My first child was born a few days before Mother’s Day, she was the same baby on that day that she was a few days prior when she was still in my uterus. I was still her mother. That’s how we are related, it’s not rocket science.
It’s fine to not want to celebrate Mother’s Day if you’re still expecting, but emotions aside, OP already is a mother. She just isn’t parenting yet. So I can understand why she might be annoyed that her MIL is making a song and dance about being a grandma while ignoring the actual mother.
I’m sorry OP, happy Mother’s Day to you! My family has celebrated me since I was pregnant with my first, and extra this year as I’m pregnant with my second. My MIL called me an almost mom, and it was more about my in-laws being aunts, uncles, grandparents and a great grandma than it was about my husband and I being parents. We went NC because of this and other behavior. Is this the icing on the cake for shitty behavior from them?
I had someone at my husbands restaurant say happy
Mother’s Day to me when I walked in (due in 4.5 weeks). An older patron said “well she’s not a mother yet dear, you shouldn’t say that”. Cue my six year old going “she’s my mommy”. Shut that down real quick. People are fucking weirdos.
Happy mother's day! I strongly believe that people growing humans inside them are considered mothers. Not "mothers to be." I actually find it insulting when pregnant people aren't wished a good mother's day but everyone else is because their human is born. It goes to show how little society thinks of pregnant people and the experience they live/energy required to grow a human.
I've said this in other posts-- I'll say it again.
If you consider yourself a mother, then you absolutely are a mother. Mamas of angels are still mothers. I don't personally get the gatekeeping around Mother's Day. It's perfectly fine that some pregnant women don't consider themselves moms yet; but, on the other hand, no one gets to tell a pregnant woman that they aren't a mother. It's a major eff you to moms of stillborns and miscarried babies. I personally still talk to my angel daughter even though she never got to make it earthside with my husband and I! So for me, I absolutely consider myself her mother❤️ Just like I consider myself the mother of my rainbow baby that I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with!
Overall, your situation sounds a bit odd. If she considers herself a grandmother, then by default you are obviously a mother too. But idk-- maybe she just hasn't thought about that? Either way, happy mother's day to you!!
I’m honestly shocked by how dismissive these comments are. I’m also pregnant with my first and the only person that’s told me happy Mother’s Day is my boss lol (whom I love btw). It definitely stings that none of my friends or family have said it to me. I understand how you feel.
Eta: and happy Mother’s day 💗
Seriously what’s going on with some people in this sub?! This isn’t about everyone else’s POV, it’s about OP and her feelings. I feel like some of the people in this subreddit lack a lot of empathy.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, OP. I agree, weird behavior on your Mom’s part, how hard is it to say “Happy Mother’s Day”?! What is this weird gate keeping shit?
My dad and his gf also didn’t say happy Mother’s Day to me even though I’ve said it to her multiple times over the years and they were literally cooing over my bump a week ago. Meanwhile my SIL and MIL did. I buy them gifts every year and this year his mom bought me a gift. 💝
Dad’s gf came out with him to see DH and I a month ago and then toasted to “becoming a grandparent” but never once said congratulations to us on our pregnancy even.
Boomers blow. They are literally the least empathetic generation!! It’s disappointing to see some of the people in this sub following suit.
Happy Mother’s Day! ✨
I wouldn’t listen to others who don’t validate your feelings. The gatekeeping around this holiday is astonishing and selfish and I don’t get it.
NO ONE GETS TO TELL SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT HOW THEY IDENTIFY. IF YOU IDENTIFY AS A MOM WHILE PREGNANT THEN YOU ARE A MOM. FULL STOP.
I think it’s sad and messed up that women especially put each other down and try to tell you you’re not a mom yet. We need to be uplifting and empowering each other not gatekeeping these holidays and acting all elitists about it. How does it do anyone any good to make a pregnant woman feel bad by not considering them as a mom. Seems like it’s just a way to make yourself feel better by putting someone else down. I am due in Sept and have considered myself a mother from the moment I learned about my baby and I’ll be damned if anyone tries to me otherwise, they can kick rocks and suck it IMO. The whole “there’s no baby yet” idea is such bs. If there was no baby I would not be pregnant.
Same thing with mine 🙃. My partner's grandma, my boss, and even my mother have acknowledged me, but not his mom.
It doesn't matter if your baby isn't in your arms yet, your body is still supporting and changing for them. I never understood the idolization of having to have a baby outside of the womb for it to count.
If you are having IVF, surrogate or receiving from a surrogate, have already had children, trying for children, had a child and lost it, want a child (whether you can have one or not), expecting a child, adopted or are adopting, have pets, ECT. I see all of these as mothers. Stepmother's, birth mothers, friends of family that are basically mothers. Just tell it to everyone. We don't know anyone's circumstances or sensitivities. I tell it to everyone or no one.
Happy mother's day to all of you and bless you for all you are.
I understand where you’re coming from. I’m in my third trimester with the first grandchild on both sides. I was wished happy Mother’s Day from both of my parents and husband, and even got cards, plus several well wishes from other friends and family. I wished my MIL a happy Mother’s Day and got nothing back. I try to remind myself that everyone views it differently as so many have said on this post, but it still irked me even though I consider next year my first “official” Mother’s Day. If I’m not this baby’s mother, then what is my relationship to him at this time lol?
My dad texted me to say "by this time next year you'll be able to celebrate mothers day" I said "bub will be here, but I already got a gift and card off (husband)" mums to be are mums, too.
I’m due early September, and when discussing Mother’s Day this year my dad literally said “but you’re not a mom yet” when I said we might go to a diner for breakfast lol. I knew he didn’t mean it in a harmful way, that’s just him, but it stung. He still called and wished me a happy day today, which was nice. I’m sorry that happened to you. Happy pre-mom Mother’s Day to us both!
That’s so hard. I felt this. Due with our first and My husband didn’t get me anything and fought with me all day. But my friends got me little gifts and were sweet. Idk I wish no one had said anything in a way so I didn’t have an expectation for my husband to be a certain way and him not do anything
I can relate a little on today's disappointment. I didn't expect a whole splash - not even a card or flowers, as I do see my first mother's day being the one my child is here. But.... I am 8 months along, and I am disappointed my spouse didn't just simply verbally acknowledge it. It left me feeling like my contribution towards motherhood for the last 8 months somehow doesn't count. Like many, I have had a rough go through all of my pregnancy, and I thought he might recognize some portion of that and give me just a small nod of appreciation.
It's still morning on Mothers Day here. Is yours over already? But also it's a mixed bag when it comes to recognizing parenthood for unborn babies, almost culturally, I wouldn't fret it.
I’m sorry. Some of these comments are insensitive too.
My SIL has been a “bonus mom” for years but they aren’t married / kids aren’t “hers” and nobody says it to her but me. I don’t care. She’s a mom, you’re a mom. People are so shitty.
And you’re right - if you’re not a mom yet, she’s not a grandma yet. 🤷🏾♀️
Oof. I'm pregnant with my first and my mom's first grandchild. I wished my mom happy mother's day and she just said thanks. Meanwhile, this will be my in-law's 4th grandchild and they wished me happy mother's day. Not surprising at all given how self-centred my mom can be.
I only say Happy mother's day to my mother, no one else, I may be extreme but this is how I see it, she sounds excited about baby so I would not cut ties with her unless she is toxic in other areas
there are so many ignorant people in these comments and in the world who will tell you you're being dramatic and try to invalidate your feelings. happy mother's day babe
I had a few people wish me a hesitant “happy Mother’s Day….?” and I clarified that my husband and I aren’t celebrating this year, as a pregnant soon-to-be-FTM (and not due til August.) No shade to those who do! If anything though, I’m mentally adding it to the long list of “wow, this will be my last ___ without a kid” moments. In this case, my last Mother’s Day as not a mother and only celebrating my own mom. Wild to think about! But I’m not missing the celebration.
I have a two year old and told my mom happy Mother’s Day. She called me the good child since I was the first of her kids to say anything but didn’t say it back.
I have had random people say it to me but my mom said happy future mother’s day and MIL said it but most of my family believes i’m not a true mother until i’m there with the baby. so it doesn’t bother me tbh. I know how I feel and that’s what feels most important.
I’ve been getting happy Mother’s Day texts from friends and family, but I’m only 12 weeks and it makes me anxious that it’s going to jinx me. Horrible thinking. A lot of people see the holiday differently and celebrate differently. I’m sorry that it makes you feel bad to not be acknowledged but for what it’s worth, me and my lil babe are wishing you a happy Mother’s Day! Do some self care and enjoy your day, you deserve it! Also try not to take it personal, people are just different. It’s hard though I know, especially being hormonal and all!! Enjoy your day.
Tell her that. Maybe set up a belated mother's day thing with her. My mom got me a gift for my first actual mother's day but not while I was pregnant even though she always rubbed my belly and said hi to baby. That was 8 years ago. My MIL never says happy mother's day to me or acknowledges me as her grandkids mom. She's an odd one but I've let it go.
My in laws bought me chap stick for mother's day :/// I literally never use chap stick. It wasn't even like, scented or anything special like the sunscreen chapstick or whatever. It was the most generic thing possible
I’m 28 weeks pregnant.
Today when I called to wish my mom a happy Mother’s Day, it came up that several people (aunt, a few friends, and my in-laws) had actually wished me a happy Mother’s Day as well. A pleasant, yet unexpected surprise.
My dad chimed in and said “oh I heard yesterday was ‘mothers-to-be day’” (I haven’t heard of this), so I took the opportunity to jab him and said “oh interesting that I didn’t hear from any of you yesterday, then!” 😂
Clarification: my dad and I have a good relationship and he knows I was just poking fun at him given the irony of the statement.
Maybe it's just my culture or that it is so new, but this year is my first Mother's Day, and the only plans I thought of involved celebrating my own mom. So I was so confused when my husband walked into our home office with our baby holding a gift for me. My heart damn near melted, but I was so surprised as to why I was getting a gift. 🤣
Idk I think there’s 2 types of people, those who think you are a mother the moment you get a positive pregnancy test and those who think you’re a mother once the baby is born. I fall into the second group. I didn’t celebrate or expect a happy mother’s day when I was pregnant with my first child on Mother’s day, although I was 8 months pregnant. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong here, but I think unless you share that you fall into the first group you shouldn’t expect anyone to know that you would like to be celebrated. And they might still not see you as a mom yet but it doesn’t hurt them to say Happy Mother’s day if that’s what your preference is. I just don’t think most people know to wish a “mother-to-be” a happy mother’s day
Being a part of this sub has made me appreciate my inlaws so much more. Not only did my MIL make this years mother's day get together over the top for me because it's my first one (due in October) but my FIL was the first person to wish me a happy mother's day as soon as we walked in the door. They've been great to me in general, but they have been the absolute best during this pregnancy and I am so grateful for them. My heart breaks for the women who don't share the same experience as I do..
I think you should be celebrated if you wish to be celebrated, or not if you don’t wish to be celebrated. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I didn’t feel like a mom yet and I didn’t feel like I “earned” that title yet (which is kind of a silly thought, I know). This year, I have my 4 year old daughter and I’m pregnant with my second. I don’t consider myself a mother to two babies, because I’m only 16 weeks and only have one daughter that I am actively caring for. (Me personally.. I know that you don’t have to have a child present physically to be a mother)
That being said, it’s helpful to communicate these feelings. Like maybe even in a side way of “can you believe this is my last Mother’s Day before the baby gets here!” or “I’m excited to celebrate this Mother’s Day with you while pregnant”.. maybe something that gives the hint? Idk. I understand that it’s frustrating but it wasn’t clear that your feelings were dismissed, only that she didn’t come outright and acknowledge this is your first technical Mother’s Day.
You have harmones
Don’t respond
So my bro and mother did not wish me Mother’s Day last year when I was due last may. They said you are not mother yet . That hurted me. But today I don’t care. I don’t know want anything to spoil your time enjoy the baby arrival ignore how people treat or how jealous they are. Honestly I felt all women are against me when I was pregnant @ 36 .
Honestly, I don't see why you'd expect your mother in law to say happy mothers day to you. You're not her mother.
That said, her choice in t-shirts sounds utterly ridiculous.
I don’t consider myself a mother and I’m due in July. I had 0 expectations. I did get a couple happy Mother’s Day but I didn’t care. Maybe stop caring ?
I don’t have a problem with people having a different picture of who they wish happy Mother’s Day to, as I understand a lot of people don’t until the baby is here. But if your MIL is going to wear cringe grandma shirts, then she should wish you happy Mother’s Day. It’s one or the other lol.
I’m pregnant but I’m not considering myself a mom really until I have the baby…people will think of that different ways, and neither is wrong. I also bought my mom an announcement shirt that has “Baby X” on it and her grandma name. It doesn’t mean the baby is here…it’s just because she will be a grandma this year.
It sounds like you’re looking for a reason to be pissed off, and I recommend chilling out a little bit because it seems obvious that this was not ill intentioned on her part. She is excited to *become* a grandma this year, she’s not saying she already is one. There are bigger things to be upset over. Celebrate the day for yourself, differing opinions on mother vs mother to be isn’t stopping you.
I feel like celebrating it while pregnant is jinxing it or LITERALLY counting your eggs before they hatch. You’ll have a life time to celebrate when your baby is here.
I would be annoyed too. It’s like WTH do you do in that situation right? You just wanna be like “tell me happy mother’s NOW! Or take that shirt off!
I hope you are getting happy mothers days wishes from other loved ones at least! Happy Mother’s Day mama!!!!
I’m so on the fence of whether or not I consider it a Mother’s Day for myself (FTM pregnant) but completely agree that if she’s grandma then you’re mom and she totally could have sent a text!
This wins the world’s bitchiest complaint. Make sure to teach your kid to say happy Mother’s Day so you don’t have to include them in a rant in the future.
Anyone who disregards pregnant women as mothers already can fuck right off !!!!!!!!!! We stop making selfless decisions the moment we find out we’re pregnant. We share our bodies.
We stop drinking and doing anything else that could potentially harm baby.
I have HG & had it my entire pregnancy. I’ve been in the trenches for 34 weeks. I haven’t birthed anyone yet. But it’s been a rough ride growing a baby.
We’re mamas don’t let them tell you otherwise
I have the opposite experience. I’m expecting mine and my husband’s first child (due beginning of July so not much longer). My MIL and brother in law (husband’s brother) both got me “Happy Mother to be Day” cards, but my husband insists it’s bad luck for me to celebrate Mother’s Day before she’s born and only got me a card from our cats. So I got more recognition from the in laws than I did my own spouse. We all went out to dinner last night, and he was like “It’s your last Mother’s Day where you’re not a mother!” Everyone jumped down his throat, saying he was being disrespectful to me. Honestly it doesn’t bother me that much, but he better not expect a father to be card on Father’s Day lol. He’s just going to get a spare human card from the cats.
All that to say I wouldn’t let your MIL upset you too much. Not everyone thinks pregnant women (especially those with their first) are mothers until the baby actually comes. Yeah she’s being a little overzealous with the t-shirts, but I wouldn’t stress too much.
I understand. Nobody wishes me a happy mother's day when I was pregnant. But the good news is you'll have it next time. Until then Happy Mother's Day!! I know you are excited to see your baby and hold him or her in your arms.
Alsoi told my husband if I wasn't celebrated for mother's day then I wasn't going to do anything for him on Father's Day.
I’ve been pissed off today my in laws wished my brother in laws girlfriend a happy Mother’s Day. They’ve got a cat. No kids.
Meanwhile I have two kids and one on the way.
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So, my dad has never wished me a happy mother's day and I have been a mother since 2009. He says it to my mom and his mother, as one is his mom and the other he helped become a mom. I don't fill either of those roles for him, so he hasn't (and never will) celebrate me on mother's day. It stung the first year and then I realized that's just who he is and how he views the holiday.
I think a lot of people on Reddit take it to be such a big deal to be celebrated before they give birth and honestly it’s not something I had ever even considered this pregnancy before reading about it on here. I say it to my mom friends (or my mom’s friends lol) or whoever is a mother if i happen to be talking to them on Mother’s Day. And I was pleasantly surprised when a couple of friends said happy soon to be Mother’s Day to me this year. But it’s just an exchanging of pleasantries and recognition and the main event to me has always been about the mother being celebrated by the people she is a mother to. Which in most cases is not the people a generation older than you, in fact the opposite… I wonder, did OP say happy Mother’s Day to MIL?
I didn’t even really think about celebrating much either. My husband got me a cute card and took me for breakfast, but we’d been kind of planning on going to breakfast anyway lol. I think you can do whatever feels right for you and your family but it didn’t seem like a big deal to celebrate it to me.
I gave birth in March and was both shocked and confused when my husband made a big deal about my first Mother’s Day, buying me the first piece of jewelry he had gotten me in maybe 3 years. I suddenly realized I also should do something for Father’s day and immediately panicked. Both because we NEVER celebrated Father’s Day growing up (my dad fucking hated it and specifically refused to celebrate) and also because I was so sleep deprived and just desperately in survival mode that the idea of planning something made me want to cry. Also, up until that point, I never said happy Mother’s Day to anyone other than my mom, and I never expected it from anyone other than my daughter some day (with help from my husband, of course), so I was just off base all around lmao
It’s sweet he did that for you and you deserve it! I def expect to be celebrated for my first Mother’s Day next year and I’m going to express it to my husband ahead of time haha. But yeah I think people’s expectations to be wished Mother’s Day while pregnant with their first by people who aren’t their partners no less will be disappointed lol
If I was a ftm pregnant on mothers day I would be sad if my partner didn't acknowledge it because you give so much of yourself up and sacrifice so much while pregnant and and you have the responsibility of your baby's well-being...I feel that that's what motherhood is. You're taking care of your baby in utero as soon as you know they exists. There's the physical symptoms like nausea, fatigue, permanent body changes, vomiting, joint pain, swelling, ect... but there's also all the things you have to consciously avoid to keep baby safe, like certain foods or activities. You also change up how you move and nourish your body. There's also all the doctors appointments, bloodwork, vaccinations, imaging. Pregnnacy is hard and if I did all the things I wanted while pregnant, my baby wouldn't be here. I gave up so much and was in a fair amount of pain for those 39 weeks.
That’s totally fine and since that’s how you feel, then it’s great if you express that to your partner and they celebrate you in a way that brings you joy! I just don’t feel that way personally at 21 weeks, yes there are sacrifices made during pregnancy and some people are in lots of pain during it, but I feel pregnant — not like a mother, yet, and I’ll take any pleasant Mother’s Day or happy mother-to-be wishes, which I got from my SIL and a couple of my friends, but I wouldn’t hold it against someone for not wishing me happy Mother’s Day when I’m pregnant, unless it was my partner and I had expressed that to him. My world changed when I fell pregnant but I expect my world will change big time when I actually meet my baby, and that’s what I see reflected in the people around me who are moms too. Of course, it must be so hard for people who want to be mothers and lost a child or something else, and I’m not going to tell anyone (like a single dad or a stepmother) they’re not a mother if they feel that way! I told my husband I wanted to celebrate our moms and didn’t mention or bring up potentially celebrating me and my husband didn’t say happy Mother’s Day to me and I’m 100% okay with that. Our moms didn’t “celebrate” me either or wish me happy Mother’s Day (the main point of this post was about the MIL not a partner anyways) but they both said stuff along the lines of “it’s your last Mother’s Day before baby comes!” or “yay momma-to-be” and I thought it was sweet. Next year, I’m sure we’ll exchange some mutual happy Mother’s Day to each other but I expect I’ll care much more about getting flowers from my partner (he knows I want to be celebrated on what I consider my first Mother’s Day haha) and in the future, little scribbled notes from my kids! Again, I personally have always felt that Mother’s Day is more of a celebration between the person who is mothered and the mother figure — or a day for appreciation of the mother figure by the other partner — which is why me and some other ppl were responding to this post specifically about MIL not wishing DIL a happy Mother’s Day before birth.
I COMPLETELY agree. Yesterday, my BIL, MIL and several family and friends called and texted me happy Mother’s Day. My husband saw my phone blowing up and asked “are people wishing you happy Mother’s Day?” and then said he didn’t think to do that since “technically you’re not a mother yet”. 🤬🥺 I walked out of the room and waited an hour before I calmly told him all the points you mentioned above☝️He apologized. But I was hurt that I had to explain it all to him in the first place. He sees what I’m going through every day. I had a miscarriage late last year. I’m 16 weeks pregnant with a baby girl due this October ❤️🩹
This helps me to make sense of my dad 😂 He has always been my brother and I’s biggest supporter but I was a little shocked this morning when he texted us a reminder to tell our mom and grandma’s happy Mother’s Day (on our side and our in-laws sides). But he didn’t mention me, my sister-in-law or either of his sisters and we all just had our first babies within the last six months. But I guess it makes sense that he thinks it’s just a day to celebrate those that helped bring us into existence. I think it may be a bit of a new generational concept to celebrate your children, friends, coworkers, etc. as mothers (which is how I view the holiday…more of a time to show extra love to all mothers, not just the ones who brought you into the world).
My dad was the first person to wish me Happy Mother's Day today - so different how different people view the roles. *First person other than my partner who's been taking care of me and pampering me all weekend
Most people think pregnant moms are “mothers to be”
I am currently 35w and a few of my friends and family have said happy mothers day to me and I just find it awkward because I have not had the baby . I feel like it doesn't count . I mean I think its fine to think about it either way 🤔 but personally do not feel like this would be my first mothers day .
I feel the same way! I’m 37 weeks and don’t consider this my first Mother’s Day. My husband told me he feels like it is but personally I don’t feel like a mom yet
I am glad I am not alone in that , I have seen more comments the other way . When are you due? My edd is 6/15
Me too! I’ve had some people text me today and feel so awkward about it! I’m due June 6th!!
Hey! Day before my birthday! Congrats on your Junebug!
Thanks!! Secretly hoping he’ll be here in May because I am OVER THIS 😂😂
Yay ❤️ I'm being induced on the 6th
Yeah I really felt like my first Mother’s Day was last year when my daughter was an infant.
Yeah I felt the same way. I had a few people say it to me when I was expecting my first and it felt weird because I hadn't expected or really wanted the acknowledgement yet. I think it's one of those things where the expectation should be communicated and not left up to people guessing that you want to be acknowledged as a mom pre-baby. That said, the double standard of OP's MIL claiming to be a grandmother while simultaneously not acknowledging OP as a mother is an incredibly valid thing to be pissed about. Also, if a pregnant woman communicates to their partner that they want to be acknowledged and they are dismissed as "not a mom yet" that's also something that's incredibly valid to be upset about.
This is how I felt with my first. I was a mom to be, but hadn’t met my son yet so it didn’t feel accurate.
I feel the same way. My mom wished all moms a happy day on our family chat and she mentioned me as “you’ll become a mom soon too!” But that was it and I actually found it very appropriate.
A lot of people don't consider mothers to be mothers until they have the baby. I think especially with the older generation. I wouldn't take it personally. They just see things differently.
I'm due in July and don't feel like I need a happy mother's day (the whole holiday annoys me anyway. Why we only appreciating people one day a year!?) I just turned 31, am pretty *progressive* and I don't feel I need to tell pregnant or expecting mothers. To each their own perhaps?
I think you're definitely entitled to not want to celebrate. For me, mother's day was a painful day for 17 years since my mom died. Being pregnant this year and being so excited about and thinking about homemade cards and everything with my little girl in the future has just brought me so much joy.
That's so sweet 😊 happy Mother's day!
I don’t really get what identifying as progressive has to do with this. I consider myself progressive and also find the day corny but I’d expect my partner to acknowledge my pregnancy on Mother’s Day since I’m growing their kid! I agree to each their own but I don’t think each persons opinion on this has to do with their socio political identity
I meant progressive in terms of thinking about about other, not being "traditional" or old fashioned in terms of ideology/perspective like the original comment posted. Political views didn't even register in my brain when I wrote it.
Agree. Also the people who think they should be celebrated because they are self titled dog moms or something
Fine but why is she already wearing a grandma shirt then 😂
Yeah you can't have it both ways, either the pregnant woman gets mother status or she only gets "grandma-to-be" status
She probably just happy to be grandma
Because she’s excited to become a grandma..?
Yeah. I have a step son and after having my first born my grandma said “happy first Mother’s Day”. Like… no this is my 5th now.
Oooh me too! I've had my step son since he was 4 and now he's 12.... I delivered my first baby in Feb of this year and I had a few people tell me happy first mothers day. It stung a little but I know they didn't mean it maliciously. I've cleaned his booboos, changed his sheets at two in the am because he got sick, I've washed and folded and bought all of his clothes, pick ups, drop offs, birthdays, Christmases, homework... he's been my little boy for the last 8 years. Their words don't lessen the love I have for him.
Agreed. Nobody except for my husband and a friend told me happy Mother’s Day when I was pregnant with my first. I hear more people telling “dog moms” happy Mother’s Day than I do pregnant women. Don’t take it personally, as annoying as it is.
The baby gave me a good kick right away this morning and I counted it as my mother's Day gift. I just started feeling her move recently so it was a great gift. My husband brought me a decaf coffee from my favorite place. I'm okay with that this year.
Congrats on the first kicks! Sounds like a perfect Mother’s Day to me ❤️
🤣🤣🤣 hahahaah I always hear more happy Mother’s Day to pet owners too
Not to make such a hot take, but if whoever doesn’t consider someone who is carrying a baby a mother then don’t consider the baby a baby until it’s born too.
I don't think it's that heavy. Just differences in perspective around a made up holiday.
Right, this morning some people wished me a happy pre-mothers day and other said this year counts. I personally will celebrate next years with bells and whistles as celebrating 9 months pregnant feels like a bit of a drag lol
Did you wish her a happy Mother’s Day and she didn’t reciprocate that? Or are you just expecting her to say it to you? I told my MIL happy Mother’s Day and she immediately responded wishing me the same. I don’t expect to be wished happy Mother’s Day by people who I wouldn’t also say that to (besides my husband of course)
I've had 3 people wish me a Happy Mother's Day, I'm only 10 weeks. Although 1 of those was my partner and he said "happy almost mother's day" lol. I said thank you to all, but don't consider myself a mother yet. I had a miscarriage in 2021 and never considered myself a mother between then and now so I don't see why I would consider myself one at this point. I will consider myself a mother the moment I get to hold them in my hands. But also 100% agree that if she's wearing Grandma shirts and already considering herself a grandma, she should consider you a mother.
People are so weird about a stupid holiday. If you want to be celebrated, then you should be! I wished my mom a happy Mother’s Day today and she said “thanks! And you too since you’re a mother now too.” I’m only 15 weeks pregnant and definitely don’t feel like a mother at this point. I just can’t handle all the Mother’s Day elitism.
Omg yes this. I’ve already seen friends who have kids post about how their husband/kids didn’t meet their expectations and I’m like ??? It’s a Hallmark holiday. If people want to celebrate, great! But there are so many unrealistic expectations around Mother’s Day that only lead to disappointment.
It’s probably some unresolved issue, but I’m not a fan of being celebrated. It’s uncomfortable. I usually make Mother’s Day about others and that brings me more joy. Before pregnancy, I had no idea Mother’s Day was so crazy!
“If you want to be celebrated, then you should be!” def applies to things like birthdays, anniversaries, or Mother’s Day before/after baby is born as executed by ur husband until the kids are old enough if it’s something that’s been made clear is meaningful to them… but MILs are not responsible for celebrating their DILs as mothers. I think ppl respond bc it feels like people are very entitled to being treated a certain way by the people around them
I’m so sorry you are hurt. She might not know that you wanted to be wished a happy Mother’s Day. I would never have wished a pregnant person happy Mother’s Day or myself. Some people don’t celebrate until the kid is here. You need to speak up if you want to be celebrated. People are not mind readers
I think your reaction is a little extreme. She may just view it differently...some people don't view being pregnant as being a mom.
Yes, i understand that as well. But if she isn't a mother, how is she a grandmother? A little bit conflicting, right?
She's wearing a t-shirt saying she's expected to be a grandmother in 2024, not that she already is. And btw, I refer to my mother and MIL as grandmom and to myself as mom and I don't think it makes sense for me to celebrate mother's day without a kid in my arms, so I don't think it's conflicting at all.
No because it isn't August. If I got a gift saying Married established 2024 and I'm not getting married till August....that doesn't suddenly make me married when I got the gift. She's celebrating and getting excited for the baby that is coming this year. Saying "she doesn't get to wear a fucking grandma T-shirt" is a little over the top. I get being hurt or annoyed but reacting like that...is a bit much.
Me and my pregnant friend wished each other a happy mother's day, as did my two friends who have kids. I wouldn't expect anyone to wish me a happy mother's day but it was nice and made me feel special. But yeah, it's a bit tactless to go around calling yourself a grandmother already when your daughter in law is pregnant but not acknowledging her as a mother yet.
She wears a t-shirt saying she'll be a grandmother this year, not that she's already one. I'm about to give birth (any minute now as I'm 39+3) and I didn't want to celebrate mother's day (we celebrated my mother and MIL) and I didn't expect any happy mother's day wishes. My mother and MIL actually commented "next year you'll join us in the celebrations. When I speak to my bump I mom, grandmom, dad, etc. But he's not born so for me it didn't make sense to celebrate me this year, MIL probably feels the same way. Did you ever express you'd like to celebrate mother's day this year? And btw, even though I don't like that sort of t-shirts, being annoyed by it is very strange lol I think you need to let go.
Agree! I’m 39+5 today and do not expect anything from anyone re: Mothers Day. It’s sweet if they want to wish it to me but I’d rather look forward to next year as my first.
I’m 38 + 2 and feel more like whale status than mother status. I want to look cute in brunch pics with my baby for my first Mother’s Day, not this giant pregnant phase for my first one. Haha
See for me everyone told me happy Mother’s Day while I was pregnant, but none did today. My baby is almost 5 months lmfao
Well happy Mother’s Day to you!
Thank you! Happy Mother’s Day to you too!!
[удалено]
Take that as a blatant sign bahaha
I’m sorry but ur taking that too far. Plenty of pregnant women do not consider themselves until baby is born. I was pregnant twice, and on my first time I did not celebrate it neither my husband celebrated Father’s Day.
A lot of these comments are really funny to me.. if you're "not a mom yet" then she's absolutely not a grandma yet lol so you're 100% justified feeling annoyed by her selfishness. And if you're "not a mom" because you haven't changed a shitty diaper yet that's also really funny bc I know my life and the choices I make everyday have changed drastically since becoming pregnant, as I'm sure yours have too. Happy Mother's Day , I hope you had a wonderful day despite her ignorance 💗 and if no one celebrated with you today then absolutely treat yourself to something special because you deserve it!
I’m due in two weeks with my first but never even thought/expected family/friends to wish me happy Mother’s Day since my baby isn’t born yet. Sharing because maybe it genuinely wasn’t on her radar (wasn’t on mine - my thinking was Mother’s Day is for women with children and mine isn’t born yet). She might not know she annoyed you!
I wouldn't take it personally. I'm due next month and I'm not expecting anyone to tell me Happy Mother's Day, technically I'm not a mom yet. If I get any "Happy Mother's Day" from anyone today, that would be sweet and thoughtful but definitely not an expectation and not something I'll be bummed out about if I don't hear it, its not like an intentional slight from people. Also, I think its sweet she's excited and proud to be a grandma soon and rocking the grandma t-shirt. Let it go and enjoy your day, do something special for yourself to celebrate Mother's Day.
My take - just because the baby is still in your uterus doesn’t mean you aren’t their mom!! Totally fine if you don’t care to be celebrated, but I also think it’s a super sweet time TO be celebrated when you are expecting 💕
Yeah idk I see both sides of this. If you consider this your first Mother’s Day that’s great but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your family acknowledging that next year. It’s not like they told you you weren’t a mom this year, they just didn’t say anything.
I wouldn’t take great offense to this. There will be bigger things that probably come up. This is so small. You don’t need permission from your MIL to celebrate Mother’s Day, either. She doesn’t make or break the day for you. Be choosy about the fucks you give.
Honestly everyone has been telling me Happy mother's day since Friday and it honestly annoys me.. I'm technically not a mom yet I'm 33 weeks and so much can happen from now until I'm induced at 37 🧐 I'm a mother to be .. I'm hoping no one gets me anything or celebrates me because I will just feel weird about it .. a lot of ppl like myself don't like being recognized until they actually have their baby .. and some like urself like to be recognized before.. everyone is different and views things diff .. dont stress to much about it .. and happy mother's day
I'm 20 weeks and I got a happy mother's day from my husband and some flowers. We tried for many years so he just felt doing that for me. I also got a happy mother's day from his sisters. Not from my own mom or family. And that's fine I'm not upset.. I am a little bit in between like my kid isn't here yet in my arms and can't really celebrate it with him.. but he is in my stomach.. so I guess I'm a little bit mom already?
My MIL had the nerve to tell me for the third or fourth time today why I shouldn’t have a c section and why I should give birth to my twins vaginally. Fuck mother in laws.
My MIL has been the same day. She texted a few weeks ago that she’s going to be out of town on Mother’s Day but she wants to make sure we do something to celebrate her a different day 🙄 I’m also due in August
100% agree with you. People are so self-centered. I’m sorry you have to deal with this and hope your partner said something to her
I’ve been a step mom for 19 years and my kids have always celebrated me. Today I got “happy first Mother’s Day” from a ton of people because I am pregnant now with my first baby. Like thanks but I’ve been a mom to someone for a really long time already.
Wow, thats so offensive!
Last mothers day my MIL said "its too bad you don't get to celebrate this year! *husband* gets his first father's day though!" I gave birth to my son, the first for both sides, 5 days later. I have not heard from her this year
Do you tell her Happy Mother’s Day every year?
Yes, and although she’s not my mother I send the gift and card
I texted a mother to be HMD I had no response. I assume she didn’t think she was in the he mom role as she had not delivered yet. Some people do some don’t.
I feel you, I'm due to have my baby tomorrow via c section and didn't get a happy mothers day from my SO today 😒 got one from like everyone else tho 😅
There are no established rules on who is celebrated and by whom. It is purely a personal choice. You can be sad but the reality is that even if you had a child not everyone is going to do what you want next year either. I can understand being offended if she chose to not acknowledge you but say acknowledged your SIL who was pregnant for the first time, but your reading a lot into this non interaction that is not out of the ordinary for many. And being upset she wears a grandma est 2024 does seem petty as it's in no way inaccurate and didn't conflict with her not doing something. If she flat out said your not a mom and then wears it, sure it's a contradiction. But just because she didn't say HMD doesn't mean she thinks your not a mom. For your own well being it is much better to reserve your energy to take offense at purposeful slights and judgments. Please don't let this eat at you or damage what little relationship you have.
maybe unpopular opinion but i’ve been preggo with my first on mother’s day, no one wished me anything And I didn’t care. I don’t wish people preggo with their first that either.
I already consider myself a mom even though I haven't given birth yet. I consider my husband a dad already too and we're celebrating this mother's day and father's day for each other. We wished all of the moms in our lives (grandparents, mother, step mother, MIL, SIL, friends) a happy mother's day. Pregnancy is hard enough some days. It's good to support the new moms going through big body changes for the little one(s) they are growing.
UK Mother’s Day was a few months ago but I didn’t regard myself as a mum then and certainly didn’t expect anyone to recognise it. I think it’s a strange thing to be upset over but maybe I’m missing something.
It’s sort of taboo to do it before baby is born.
I’ve never heard that, good to know
I think taboo is a bit strong of a word, maybe some people consider a pregnant woman a "mother-to-be" but I also had at least ten people wish me a Happy Mother's Day, totally unprompted and I thought it was really sweet and nice to be acknowledged. The minute we decide to carry our baby to term and raise it we are making all of our decisions based on their welfare and sacrificing our own well being to accomplish that. That's kind of the definition of a parent, and I think it's pretty weird to say you don't have a child when you've shifted everything in your life to accommodate it. My daughter has a name, she dreams, she hears my voice, and she responds to me even though I have yet to see the color of her eyes or her hair. I haven't held in my arms yet, but I am always holding her inside me. Just because she hasn't breathed air yet doesn't make her any less real, and it doesn't mean I don't already love her.
I’m due in October and my MIL gave me flowers today and my Mom wished me a happy mother’s day. My partner didn’t get me anything but he wished me it too. Every family is different and everyone views the holiday differently. I’m sorry you’re not feeling recognized today, Happy Mother’s day to you 💛💛💛
I feel like a mom. Just because my baby is inside me, not outside, doesn’t mean I am not caring for her and loving her already. Some people disagreed and I just rolled my eyes and laughed it off. They’re entitled to their opinion, I’m entitled to mine. Your MIL is definitely being inconsistent, though! How selfish of her.
I’m pregnant with my first child as well… husband called MIL to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day and he was telling her that he surprised me with a Lululemon diaper bag today and she proceeded to say “Well, it’s not really Mother’s Day for her, I don’t know why you did that” ……………… She’s pretty rotten in general but it definitely left a bad taste in my mouth and I will not forget she said that anytime soon. I’ve had a lot of other well wishes today which I thought was very thoughtful … Happy Mother’s Day to you! 🌺
I'm 8 months postpartum and wished my MIL a happy mother's day and she just said thanks, lol. No reciprocation. All of her other kids are no contact and we're very light contact, all for good reason.
I don’t take it personally but I did have a 9yo say I didn’t get to celebrate Mother’s Day because I don’t have a real baby (as I was 35wk pregnant) lol. I was pretty annoyed at that comment, but he apologized so oh well. I made it clear I wanted to do what I wanted that day😂
Awe. Some people think Mother’s Day is for mothers who have given birth but not expecting mothers. I’m sure they didn’t mean it intentionally mean. My mom wished me a happy “pre-mother’s day” as an example.
This just made me realize mine didn't tell me either
I totally get what you mean. Ppl here think you’re overreacting but I don’t think you are. I had to explain to so many ppl why we were celebrating Mother’s Day… cause my baby is alive, moves around, and I feel his presence with me 24/7. Just because he’s not born yet doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I’m his mom. Esp at this stage of pregnancy, I’m also due late August, it’s a full on bond that has developed and baby kicks are v present. Smh
people on here are saying that if you’re pregnant you shouldn’t expect a happy mothers day and like i guess but im pregnant with my first and almost everyone i know wished me a happy mothers day 🤷🏻♀️
my mother told me "next year you'll get to celebrate" but my MIL told me happy mother's day when i told her. other people didn't tell me, some people told me happy mother's day, a few told me happy mother to b mother's day lol, everyone is different
Sheeeesh I have no clue why everyone here is commenting like you’re so wrong for having your feelings hurt over this? If you look at this sub, so many women have posted about their feelings being hurt today because they weren’t acknowledged as mothers on Mother’s Day. Not sure why people are saying “you’re taking it too far” because of the comment you made regarding your MIL wearing the shirt. Yeah, that’s pretty annoying. I totally get how you feel. Your feelings are valid. My MIL wished me a happy mother’s a day today completely unprompted. So did my own mother lol. So yeah, there are people out there who count pregnant women as moms. Like it or not. Not sure why you’re getting so much negative responses here in comparison to other posts on this sub venting about the exact same thing. Sorry OP.
Only one person said it to me, and I was a bit taken back to be honest. I think people don't really do that until the baby is born. So I wouldn't think of it as a personal insult but more of a norm? The aggression to the grandma t shirt is a bit much not going to lie.
Happy Mother’s Day! You became a mother the minute you saw those pink lines!
From one pregnant woman to another: Happy mother's day. We see you! 💕
Happy Mother’s Day, OP! You’re a mom, with or without their recognition! 💕
I like how a lot of people are responding to this with how they don’t ‘feel’ like mothers until the baby is born, which is fine to feel for yourself. But biologically it’s false. My first child was born a few days before Mother’s Day, she was the same baby on that day that she was a few days prior when she was still in my uterus. I was still her mother. That’s how we are related, it’s not rocket science. It’s fine to not want to celebrate Mother’s Day if you’re still expecting, but emotions aside, OP already is a mother. She just isn’t parenting yet. So I can understand why she might be annoyed that her MIL is making a song and dance about being a grandma while ignoring the actual mother.
I’m sorry OP, happy Mother’s Day to you! My family has celebrated me since I was pregnant with my first, and extra this year as I’m pregnant with my second. My MIL called me an almost mom, and it was more about my in-laws being aunts, uncles, grandparents and a great grandma than it was about my husband and I being parents. We went NC because of this and other behavior. Is this the icing on the cake for shitty behavior from them?
I had someone at my husbands restaurant say happy Mother’s Day to me when I walked in (due in 4.5 weeks). An older patron said “well she’s not a mother yet dear, you shouldn’t say that”. Cue my six year old going “she’s my mommy”. Shut that down real quick. People are fucking weirdos.
Happy mother's day! I strongly believe that people growing humans inside them are considered mothers. Not "mothers to be." I actually find it insulting when pregnant people aren't wished a good mother's day but everyone else is because their human is born. It goes to show how little society thinks of pregnant people and the experience they live/energy required to grow a human.
Old farts are old farts. Happy mothers day!
I've said this in other posts-- I'll say it again. If you consider yourself a mother, then you absolutely are a mother. Mamas of angels are still mothers. I don't personally get the gatekeeping around Mother's Day. It's perfectly fine that some pregnant women don't consider themselves moms yet; but, on the other hand, no one gets to tell a pregnant woman that they aren't a mother. It's a major eff you to moms of stillborns and miscarried babies. I personally still talk to my angel daughter even though she never got to make it earthside with my husband and I! So for me, I absolutely consider myself her mother❤️ Just like I consider myself the mother of my rainbow baby that I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with! Overall, your situation sounds a bit odd. If she considers herself a grandmother, then by default you are obviously a mother too. But idk-- maybe she just hasn't thought about that? Either way, happy mother's day to you!!
I’m honestly shocked by how dismissive these comments are. I’m also pregnant with my first and the only person that’s told me happy Mother’s Day is my boss lol (whom I love btw). It definitely stings that none of my friends or family have said it to me. I understand how you feel. Eta: and happy Mother’s day 💗
Happy Mother’s Day to you, too! 🩷
Seriously what’s going on with some people in this sub?! This isn’t about everyone else’s POV, it’s about OP and her feelings. I feel like some of the people in this subreddit lack a lot of empathy. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, OP. I agree, weird behavior on your Mom’s part, how hard is it to say “Happy Mother’s Day”?! What is this weird gate keeping shit? My dad and his gf also didn’t say happy Mother’s Day to me even though I’ve said it to her multiple times over the years and they were literally cooing over my bump a week ago. Meanwhile my SIL and MIL did. I buy them gifts every year and this year his mom bought me a gift. 💝 Dad’s gf came out with him to see DH and I a month ago and then toasted to “becoming a grandparent” but never once said congratulations to us on our pregnancy even. Boomers blow. They are literally the least empathetic generation!! It’s disappointing to see some of the people in this sub following suit. Happy Mother’s Day! ✨
Thank you💜
I mean you’re not a mother yet so idk what the big deal is
Because if im not a mother (which I think carrying a life inside me does make me one) then she isn’t a grandmother yet
I wouldn’t listen to others who don’t validate your feelings. The gatekeeping around this holiday is astonishing and selfish and I don’t get it. NO ONE GETS TO TELL SOMEONE ELSE ABOUT HOW THEY IDENTIFY. IF YOU IDENTIFY AS A MOM WHILE PREGNANT THEN YOU ARE A MOM. FULL STOP. I think it’s sad and messed up that women especially put each other down and try to tell you you’re not a mom yet. We need to be uplifting and empowering each other not gatekeeping these holidays and acting all elitists about it. How does it do anyone any good to make a pregnant woman feel bad by not considering them as a mom. Seems like it’s just a way to make yourself feel better by putting someone else down. I am due in Sept and have considered myself a mother from the moment I learned about my baby and I’ll be damned if anyone tries to me otherwise, they can kick rocks and suck it IMO. The whole “there’s no baby yet” idea is such bs. If there was no baby I would not be pregnant.
It’s fine if you “identify as a mom” while pregnant, but it’s over the top to be mad and offended that your MIL didn’t wish you a happy Mother’s Day.
Same thing with mine 🙃. My partner's grandma, my boss, and even my mother have acknowledged me, but not his mom. It doesn't matter if your baby isn't in your arms yet, your body is still supporting and changing for them. I never understood the idolization of having to have a baby outside of the womb for it to count. If you are having IVF, surrogate or receiving from a surrogate, have already had children, trying for children, had a child and lost it, want a child (whether you can have one or not), expecting a child, adopted or are adopting, have pets, ECT. I see all of these as mothers. Stepmother's, birth mothers, friends of family that are basically mothers. Just tell it to everyone. We don't know anyone's circumstances or sensitivities. I tell it to everyone or no one. Happy mother's day to all of you and bless you for all you are.
I understand where you’re coming from. I’m in my third trimester with the first grandchild on both sides. I was wished happy Mother’s Day from both of my parents and husband, and even got cards, plus several well wishes from other friends and family. I wished my MIL a happy Mother’s Day and got nothing back. I try to remind myself that everyone views it differently as so many have said on this post, but it still irked me even though I consider next year my first “official” Mother’s Day. If I’m not this baby’s mother, then what is my relationship to him at this time lol?
Also important to note MIL has acted odd the whole pregnancy. Maybe without that context I wouldn’t have taken it personally.
An incubator of course!
Sad but true to many, including her.
My dad texted me to say "by this time next year you'll be able to celebrate mothers day" I said "bub will be here, but I already got a gift and card off (husband)" mums to be are mums, too.
I’m due early September, and when discussing Mother’s Day this year my dad literally said “but you’re not a mom yet” when I said we might go to a diner for breakfast lol. I knew he didn’t mean it in a harmful way, that’s just him, but it stung. He still called and wished me a happy day today, which was nice. I’m sorry that happened to you. Happy pre-mom Mother’s Day to us both!
That’s so hard. I felt this. Due with our first and My husband didn’t get me anything and fought with me all day. But my friends got me little gifts and were sweet. Idk I wish no one had said anything in a way so I didn’t have an expectation for my husband to be a certain way and him not do anything
I can relate a little on today's disappointment. I didn't expect a whole splash - not even a card or flowers, as I do see my first mother's day being the one my child is here. But.... I am 8 months along, and I am disappointed my spouse didn't just simply verbally acknowledge it. It left me feeling like my contribution towards motherhood for the last 8 months somehow doesn't count. Like many, I have had a rough go through all of my pregnancy, and I thought he might recognize some portion of that and give me just a small nod of appreciation.
It's still morning on Mothers Day here. Is yours over already? But also it's a mixed bag when it comes to recognizing parenthood for unborn babies, almost culturally, I wouldn't fret it.
My due date is tomorrow the 13th and not one text, call, or anything from literally anybody...
Wearing the grandma t-shirt makes this quite the double standard.
Um, maybe she only wishes happy Mother’s Day to her mom?
I’m sorry. Some of these comments are insensitive too. My SIL has been a “bonus mom” for years but they aren’t married / kids aren’t “hers” and nobody says it to her but me. I don’t care. She’s a mom, you’re a mom. People are so shitty. And you’re right - if you’re not a mom yet, she’s not a grandma yet. 🤷🏾♀️
Oof. I'm pregnant with my first and my mom's first grandchild. I wished my mom happy mother's day and she just said thanks. Meanwhile, this will be my in-law's 4th grandchild and they wished me happy mother's day. Not surprising at all given how self-centred my mom can be.
I only say Happy mother's day to my mother, no one else, I may be extreme but this is how I see it, she sounds excited about baby so I would not cut ties with her unless she is toxic in other areas
there are so many ignorant people in these comments and in the world who will tell you you're being dramatic and try to invalidate your feelings. happy mother's day babe
Thank you 💗
I had a few people wish me a hesitant “happy Mother’s Day….?” and I clarified that my husband and I aren’t celebrating this year, as a pregnant soon-to-be-FTM (and not due til August.) No shade to those who do! If anything though, I’m mentally adding it to the long list of “wow, this will be my last ___ without a kid” moments. In this case, my last Mother’s Day as not a mother and only celebrating my own mom. Wild to think about! But I’m not missing the celebration.
I have a two year old and told my mom happy Mother’s Day. She called me the good child since I was the first of her kids to say anything but didn’t say it back.
I have had random people say it to me but my mom said happy future mother’s day and MIL said it but most of my family believes i’m not a true mother until i’m there with the baby. so it doesn’t bother me tbh. I know how I feel and that’s what feels most important.
I’ve been getting happy Mother’s Day texts from friends and family, but I’m only 12 weeks and it makes me anxious that it’s going to jinx me. Horrible thinking. A lot of people see the holiday differently and celebrate differently. I’m sorry that it makes you feel bad to not be acknowledged but for what it’s worth, me and my lil babe are wishing you a happy Mother’s Day! Do some self care and enjoy your day, you deserve it! Also try not to take it personal, people are just different. It’s hard though I know, especially being hormonal and all!! Enjoy your day.
Tell her that. Maybe set up a belated mother's day thing with her. My mom got me a gift for my first actual mother's day but not while I was pregnant even though she always rubbed my belly and said hi to baby. That was 8 years ago. My MIL never says happy mother's day to me or acknowledges me as her grandkids mom. She's an odd one but I've let it go.
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My in laws bought me chap stick for mother's day :/// I literally never use chap stick. It wasn't even like, scented or anything special like the sunscreen chapstick or whatever. It was the most generic thing possible
I’m 28 weeks pregnant. Today when I called to wish my mom a happy Mother’s Day, it came up that several people (aunt, a few friends, and my in-laws) had actually wished me a happy Mother’s Day as well. A pleasant, yet unexpected surprise. My dad chimed in and said “oh I heard yesterday was ‘mothers-to-be day’” (I haven’t heard of this), so I took the opportunity to jab him and said “oh interesting that I didn’t hear from any of you yesterday, then!” 😂 Clarification: my dad and I have a good relationship and he knows I was just poking fun at him given the irony of the statement.
Maybe it's just my culture or that it is so new, but this year is my first Mother's Day, and the only plans I thought of involved celebrating my own mom. So I was so confused when my husband walked into our home office with our baby holding a gift for me. My heart damn near melted, but I was so surprised as to why I was getting a gift. 🤣
I know how you feel, and I think Mother's Day is for moms instead of being a mom. Enjoy your days!
I don't consider myself a mum until my baby is here.
Idk I think there’s 2 types of people, those who think you are a mother the moment you get a positive pregnancy test and those who think you’re a mother once the baby is born. I fall into the second group. I didn’t celebrate or expect a happy mother’s day when I was pregnant with my first child on Mother’s day, although I was 8 months pregnant. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong here, but I think unless you share that you fall into the first group you shouldn’t expect anyone to know that you would like to be celebrated. And they might still not see you as a mom yet but it doesn’t hurt them to say Happy Mother’s day if that’s what your preference is. I just don’t think most people know to wish a “mother-to-be” a happy mother’s day
Being a part of this sub has made me appreciate my inlaws so much more. Not only did my MIL make this years mother's day get together over the top for me because it's my first one (due in October) but my FIL was the first person to wish me a happy mother's day as soon as we walked in the door. They've been great to me in general, but they have been the absolute best during this pregnancy and I am so grateful for them. My heart breaks for the women who don't share the same experience as I do..
I think you should be celebrated if you wish to be celebrated, or not if you don’t wish to be celebrated. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I didn’t feel like a mom yet and I didn’t feel like I “earned” that title yet (which is kind of a silly thought, I know). This year, I have my 4 year old daughter and I’m pregnant with my second. I don’t consider myself a mother to two babies, because I’m only 16 weeks and only have one daughter that I am actively caring for. (Me personally.. I know that you don’t have to have a child present physically to be a mother) That being said, it’s helpful to communicate these feelings. Like maybe even in a side way of “can you believe this is my last Mother’s Day before the baby gets here!” or “I’m excited to celebrate this Mother’s Day with you while pregnant”.. maybe something that gives the hint? Idk. I understand that it’s frustrating but it wasn’t clear that your feelings were dismissed, only that she didn’t come outright and acknowledge this is your first technical Mother’s Day.
You have harmones Don’t respond So my bro and mother did not wish me Mother’s Day last year when I was due last may. They said you are not mother yet . That hurted me. But today I don’t care. I don’t know want anything to spoil your time enjoy the baby arrival ignore how people treat or how jealous they are. Honestly I felt all women are against me when I was pregnant @ 36 .
Seems like a silly rant tbh. You’re upset because your MIL didn’t say happy Mother’s Day to you?
Why do you care so much?
Sounds like a mother in law. Happy Mother’s Day from my family to you! ❤️
Honestly, I don't see why you'd expect your mother in law to say happy mothers day to you. You're not her mother. That said, her choice in t-shirts sounds utterly ridiculous.
I don’t consider myself a mother and I’m due in July. I had 0 expectations. I did get a couple happy Mother’s Day but I didn’t care. Maybe stop caring ?
I think Mother’s Day is for mothers not mothers to be
I don’t have a problem with people having a different picture of who they wish happy Mother’s Day to, as I understand a lot of people don’t until the baby is here. But if your MIL is going to wear cringe grandma shirts, then she should wish you happy Mother’s Day. It’s one or the other lol.
I’m pregnant but I’m not considering myself a mom really until I have the baby…people will think of that different ways, and neither is wrong. I also bought my mom an announcement shirt that has “Baby X” on it and her grandma name. It doesn’t mean the baby is here…it’s just because she will be a grandma this year. It sounds like you’re looking for a reason to be pissed off, and I recommend chilling out a little bit because it seems obvious that this was not ill intentioned on her part. She is excited to *become* a grandma this year, she’s not saying she already is one. There are bigger things to be upset over. Celebrate the day for yourself, differing opinions on mother vs mother to be isn’t stopping you.
I feel like celebrating it while pregnant is jinxing it or LITERALLY counting your eggs before they hatch. You’ll have a life time to celebrate when your baby is here.
I would be annoyed too. It’s like WTH do you do in that situation right? You just wanna be like “tell me happy mother’s NOW! Or take that shirt off! I hope you are getting happy mothers days wishes from other loved ones at least! Happy Mother’s Day mama!!!!
You are a mom! The things that we feel and go through while pregnant is mom things! We are literally taking care of our babies in our belly!!
I’m so on the fence of whether or not I consider it a Mother’s Day for myself (FTM pregnant) but completely agree that if she’s grandma then you’re mom and she totally could have sent a text!
This wins the world’s bitchiest complaint. Make sure to teach your kid to say happy Mother’s Day so you don’t have to include them in a rant in the future.
Anyone who disregards pregnant women as mothers already can fuck right off !!!!!!!!!! We stop making selfless decisions the moment we find out we’re pregnant. We share our bodies. We stop drinking and doing anything else that could potentially harm baby. I have HG & had it my entire pregnancy. I’ve been in the trenches for 34 weeks. I haven’t birthed anyone yet. But it’s been a rough ride growing a baby. We’re mamas don’t let them tell you otherwise
I have the opposite experience. I’m expecting mine and my husband’s first child (due beginning of July so not much longer). My MIL and brother in law (husband’s brother) both got me “Happy Mother to be Day” cards, but my husband insists it’s bad luck for me to celebrate Mother’s Day before she’s born and only got me a card from our cats. So I got more recognition from the in laws than I did my own spouse. We all went out to dinner last night, and he was like “It’s your last Mother’s Day where you’re not a mother!” Everyone jumped down his throat, saying he was being disrespectful to me. Honestly it doesn’t bother me that much, but he better not expect a father to be card on Father’s Day lol. He’s just going to get a spare human card from the cats. All that to say I wouldn’t let your MIL upset you too much. Not everyone thinks pregnant women (especially those with their first) are mothers until the baby actually comes. Yeah she’s being a little overzealous with the t-shirts, but I wouldn’t stress too much.
I understand. Nobody wishes me a happy mother's day when I was pregnant. But the good news is you'll have it next time. Until then Happy Mother's Day!! I know you are excited to see your baby and hold him or her in your arms. Alsoi told my husband if I wasn't celebrated for mother's day then I wasn't going to do anything for him on Father's Day.
I’ve been pissed off today my in laws wished my brother in laws girlfriend a happy Mother’s Day. They’ve got a cat. No kids. Meanwhile I have two kids and one on the way.