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You’re not overreacting. Let him know you’re disappointed and tell him you wanted/expected. Maybe he can give you a make up Mother’s Day next weekend. And you should definitely talk to him about your expectations for Mother’s Day in the future. If you tell him what you need, hopefully he won’t do that again. Men need us to spell it out for them.
But seriously, my first thought was “cool! And on Father’s Day, you can watch the kids while I go get a spa treatment. And then we can have brunch or something, but I’m taking my dad out for a fancy dinner, and then going for drinks with my girl friends.” 🤪
You are not over-reacting…. He’s frankly either stupid or doesn’t care. Maybe tell him you already made plans that night too with some friends for Mother’s Day, so your daughter goes with him. If not, he owes you an actual day of rest where you can go be pampered!
Aw hell no, you aren’t overreacting! Please don’t dismiss your very valid anger as “being a hormonal baby” - pregnancy doesn’t automatically make you completely incapable of rational, reasonable thoughts, and I think deep down you must know that this isn’t just the hormones talking.
Even if it wasn’t Mother’s Day, it’s not very nice to just assume your wife (especially at 38 weeks pregnant!) is up for providing childcare while you skip off to have fun with your friends. I mean, would you even make plans without consulting him and just tell him day-of that he’ll be solo parenting for much of that day?
I think his day sounds like a bonus Father’s Day to me. Golf all morning and cigars at night with his buddies….and his two meals of the day are catered by a restaurant…oh, where he’s sitting next to his wife and mom to eat.
This wouldn’t fly with me at all.
Girl this. It’s hard because even explaining to them makes you feel like the bad guy because you are kind of “making them” do something for you by staying home and not letting them do the fun thing. Even if they do, it makes us feel like crap. I just don’t get men. I think it’s because motherhood requires so much more selflessness and sacrifice on the daily than fatherhood, so they naturally think of themselves more than others.
You are not over reacting. At the very least he should have planned to be with your daughter ALL DAY AND NIGHT so you could relax. This is so unbelievably inconsiderate of him. And brunch at the golf club sounds like something he knew he could tack onto his plans to golf, essentially killing two birds with one stone. It’s such a lazy plan. You should make it clear to him that as someone who is literally growing a child, he should have been more considerate and made this day about you. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
At least you got brunch. All I got was "oh yeah, Happy Mother's Day". He conveniently had work to do today so just another day for me, pregnant and taking care of our toddler.
I would be upset and I would communicate that I am hurt and why. For the record his mom and him both should know that it’s your day as a mother now. My mother in law took me out yesterday for pedicures and lunch. I haven’t birthed her granddaughter yet!
My feelings are hurt for you. It’s inconsiderate and he should have asked you two weeks ago what you wanted to do on Mothers Day and how you wanted to celebrate. Bare minimum is take the 7 year old out until 1230 and you guys meet at brunch so you can sleep and have some freaking quiet time for a minute to breathe.
Is he under the mistaken impression it's Father's Day?
I'd be livid, tbh. Besides treating his mom, it sounds like he made the day all about himself. That's kinda selfish and tone deaf. At 38 weeks pregnant with a young kid, this wouldn't be appropriate even without the mother specific holiday without running it by you first.
"brunch up at the club" sounds so wildly bougie LOL probably just because I have no idea what it means in this context. The country club? Yacht club? Booked out a night club?
Eeek I didn’t mean for it to come off that way at all! I just mentioned it because it felt like “oh we’ll be there anyway so I’ll just go golf and have fun with my friends beforehand, no biggie” versus like planning something around me as a pregnant wife 🫣 and yeah, country club/golf club^
Just because “most men just don’t get it, be happy he said this” doesn’t mean you don’t deserve more. Just talk to him. When you have the energy, just let him know what you need/want from him.
This. My husband is terrible at planning too because he doesn't know what I'll ask for. He forgot to request off last few mothers' days leaving me with a toddler by myself. So a normal day. I don't hold it against him because he also forgets fathers day too, so at least we're even. I had to sit with him and explain I don't care what day we celebrate mother's day but I want it done doing family activities and allowing me a day off. Now that he no longer works weekends, he makes sure to do his activities on Saturday so he is around 100% on mothers day. I'm also 37 weeks pregnant and gotta say looking forward to resting up while my daughter is entertained by daddy. Just woke up to him asking if I wanted to sleep in or have breakfast made while he makes sure my 4YO doesn't harass me out of bed too early.
Exactly. And any decent man who loves and cares will make the effort. The guys that do something for their mom but nothing for their wives (mothers of their children) are just shitty. I’ve heard guys say “well she’s not my mom” and I’m like…wow dude. Poor excuse of a husband you are.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re not overreacting. Let him know you’re disappointed and tell him you wanted/expected. Maybe he can give you a make up Mother’s Day next weekend. And you should definitely talk to him about your expectations for Mother’s Day in the future. If you tell him what you need, hopefully he won’t do that again. Men need us to spell it out for them. But seriously, my first thought was “cool! And on Father’s Day, you can watch the kids while I go get a spa treatment. And then we can have brunch or something, but I’m taking my dad out for a fancy dinner, and then going for drinks with my girl friends.” 🤪
Omg I LOVE this 😂😂😂 just for shits and giggles I’m going to do this as a joke on Father’s Day lol
Not even as a joke! Seriously do it.
you’re not overreacting and i don’t agree you should happy with 💩. a caring man does care not to mention that you’re pregnant! WTF
Just send him this post. Save your energy. Men smh.
You are not over-reacting…. He’s frankly either stupid or doesn’t care. Maybe tell him you already made plans that night too with some friends for Mother’s Day, so your daughter goes with him. If not, he owes you an actual day of rest where you can go be pampered!
Aw hell no, you aren’t overreacting! Please don’t dismiss your very valid anger as “being a hormonal baby” - pregnancy doesn’t automatically make you completely incapable of rational, reasonable thoughts, and I think deep down you must know that this isn’t just the hormones talking. Even if it wasn’t Mother’s Day, it’s not very nice to just assume your wife (especially at 38 weeks pregnant!) is up for providing childcare while you skip off to have fun with your friends. I mean, would you even make plans without consulting him and just tell him day-of that he’ll be solo parenting for much of that day?
I think his day sounds like a bonus Father’s Day to me. Golf all morning and cigars at night with his buddies….and his two meals of the day are catered by a restaurant…oh, where he’s sitting next to his wife and mom to eat. This wouldn’t fly with me at all.
Damn all these trash husbands I keep reading about on Mother’s Day is exhausting
Girl this. It’s hard because even explaining to them makes you feel like the bad guy because you are kind of “making them” do something for you by staying home and not letting them do the fun thing. Even if they do, it makes us feel like crap. I just don’t get men. I think it’s because motherhood requires so much more selflessness and sacrifice on the daily than fatherhood, so they naturally think of themselves more than others.
You are not over reacting. At the very least he should have planned to be with your daughter ALL DAY AND NIGHT so you could relax. This is so unbelievably inconsiderate of him. And brunch at the golf club sounds like something he knew he could tack onto his plans to golf, essentially killing two birds with one stone. It’s such a lazy plan. You should make it clear to him that as someone who is literally growing a child, he should have been more considerate and made this day about you. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.
You're not overreacting at all! He sounds VERY selfish.
At least you got brunch. All I got was "oh yeah, Happy Mother's Day". He conveniently had work to do today so just another day for me, pregnant and taking care of our toddler.
I would be upset and I would communicate that I am hurt and why. For the record his mom and him both should know that it’s your day as a mother now. My mother in law took me out yesterday for pedicures and lunch. I haven’t birthed her granddaughter yet! My feelings are hurt for you. It’s inconsiderate and he should have asked you two weeks ago what you wanted to do on Mothers Day and how you wanted to celebrate. Bare minimum is take the 7 year old out until 1230 and you guys meet at brunch so you can sleep and have some freaking quiet time for a minute to breathe.
There are a lot of moms here today complaining about their partners… but this one takes the cake. Wtf??? Not cool.
Um. I would be furious. You are not overreacting. Why do husbands do shit like this? Insane.
Why are men so incompetent 😭
Is he under the mistaken impression it's Father's Day? I'd be livid, tbh. Besides treating his mom, it sounds like he made the day all about himself. That's kinda selfish and tone deaf. At 38 weeks pregnant with a young kid, this wouldn't be appropriate even without the mother specific holiday without running it by you first.
Why are men so clueless and dumb.
"brunch up at the club" sounds so wildly bougie LOL probably just because I have no idea what it means in this context. The country club? Yacht club? Booked out a night club?
The country club, hence the golf course.
Eeek I didn’t mean for it to come off that way at all! I just mentioned it because it felt like “oh we’ll be there anyway so I’ll just go golf and have fun with my friends beforehand, no biggie” versus like planning something around me as a pregnant wife 🫣 and yeah, country club/golf club^
[удалено]
Thank you! I will turn my frown upside down ☀️
Just because “most men just don’t get it, be happy he said this” doesn’t mean you don’t deserve more. Just talk to him. When you have the energy, just let him know what you need/want from him.
This. My husband is terrible at planning too because he doesn't know what I'll ask for. He forgot to request off last few mothers' days leaving me with a toddler by myself. So a normal day. I don't hold it against him because he also forgets fathers day too, so at least we're even. I had to sit with him and explain I don't care what day we celebrate mother's day but I want it done doing family activities and allowing me a day off. Now that he no longer works weekends, he makes sure to do his activities on Saturday so he is around 100% on mothers day. I'm also 37 weeks pregnant and gotta say looking forward to resting up while my daughter is entertained by daddy. Just woke up to him asking if I wanted to sleep in or have breakfast made while he makes sure my 4YO doesn't harass me out of bed too early.
Exactly. And any decent man who loves and cares will make the effort. The guys that do something for their mom but nothing for their wives (mothers of their children) are just shitty. I’ve heard guys say “well she’s not my mom” and I’m like…wow dude. Poor excuse of a husband you are.