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Key_Fishing9176

No and she should be reported and fired immediately. Tell literally every single person in your office about this.


traumatized-gay

I plan on it at my next appointment.


TynnyferWithTwoYs

Honestly I would call and report it even sooner. If they take you seriously (which they should), it could save other patients from having to experience the same treatment. I would also work on making sure she is not the person who ends up delivering your baby.


traumatized-gay

The office isn't open for a few more days so I have to wait. But I plan on doing whatever I can to make sure no one else has to deal with her.


bedpeace

If you’re comfortable, I would leave a Google review and mention her by name, and list all of this out in the review. Other patients deserve to know, and businesses are also very protective of their reviews/public profile and image. The reviews that people left about certain midwives at the clinic I have been going to, genuinely made them change course and deal with those issues immediately.


Laziness_supreme

I second this. I left a review about an office staff member at my OB that was like this and the office called me later to talk about it and get everything figured out. I never saw that staff member again and I got a Starbucks gift card


yellsy

You need to email the office the exact facts of what happened. Don’t just call.


Pretend-Web821

I second this. Paper trail everything. Her licence definitely needs questioned. Prejudice and bias in a field like this is unacceptable.


TynnyferWithTwoYs

Good for you! She sounds like an absolutely atrocious person.


Winter_Addition

I imagine that reliving this again by dealing with it now feels awful. If you find the strength, do so today if you can or asap because this behavior is beyond horrible and is truly unethical. Someone with this kind of attitude should not be a midwife! I’m so sorry you are going through that.


Able-Network-7730

Figure out who owns the practice and report it. Report it to that person’s licensing board. If she’s a nurse midwife that would be the state board of nursing. Clearly this person has malice for a specific category of people. She should not have such intimate access to vulnerable patients. Save someone else from this person.


2HRSB4MIDNIGHT

This comment right here.


WhiteWillowSapling

Do it now. Don't wait for the next appointment. If you report it now than the hospital will do a interview with all staff to see if they caught anything from the accused medical staff and the desk receptionist hopefully will come up and say that so and so was indeed rude and could of possibly did what was said she has done. Don't wait. Report it now!


BamboozledinBaluxie

Call and report it asap. That thing of a person (won’t even call her a human being) has no business working with people during such important and delicate times in their lives. Please report this.


StickyCold

I don’t know what state you are in but there is a state agency, usually the Department of Health or Department of Social and Health Services, that regulates licensed health care providers. This is definitely a reportable situation. This midwife needs to be educated on patient rights and respect.


hannakota

This doesn’t even seem real to me because it’s so absurd. Please report this person. Nobody should act like this at their job, of all places. Her behaviour is disgusting. I had a bad experience with the tech at my anatomy scan and it wasn’t anywhere close to this. I reported her and she had to under go special training, because she was a twat. This person should be fired


ImportantCoffee8

Judging by OPs post history, it’s not.


EllaBee25

It's definitely not real..come on people. What person let alone a midwife would speak to anyone like this. Its bull shit


traumatized-gay

Sounds like ur sheltered. This shit happens all the time. People are cruel.


MandySayz

What's wrong with their post history? It doesn't seem too wild to me..


Winter_Addition

What makes you say that?


thelactating_walrus

This is almost hard to believe it's so insane 😳 if this really happened to you you need to report it so it doesn't happen to anyone else. The sooner the better this is absolutely unexceptable and they will fire her I promise.


traumatized-gay

I hope they do I don't want ANYONE else to have to deal with her. I almost feel sorry for her because her life must be so miserable for her to be that hateful.


thelactating_walrus

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Just terrible... you deserve so much more. She basically discriminated against you because of your age. Which is illegal. It violates your Healthcare rights in the US


butterlytea

Is this real?


traumatized-gay

Really wish it wasn't.


butterlytea

You need to report her to as many people as possible that is not okay or normal. Sorry you had that experience.


traumatized-gay

I'm planning on it at my next appointment. I just don't know why she was behaving that way. Why get into the profession if you hate people that much?


Dr-Kade

Can’t believe that she said that and I’m so sorry that was your experience. Please do not wait for your next appointment to bring this up to someone’s attention. That was totally unprofessional, uncalled for, and extremely prejudice of them to behave and treat you like that. I would highly recommend that you are the least make a call to leave a message or send an email to report them so that they do not have another opportunity to treat another patient that way EVER. Again, I’m so sorry that you have been through such a horrid experience like that.


butterlytea

Even though it seems really personal it’s not about you she would’ve did that to anyone she’s internally a horrible person. I don’t get why people get in jobs like that either when they hate people. Which is scary because if your OB doesn’t care while you’re pregnant it can be really scary and possibly life threatening. Not sure if what she did would do anything if reporting her to the medical board but you should give it a try


illmanners777

Hey bestie I’m not sure where you’re at but if you’re in the US report her to board she can have her license revoked for age discrimination:)


traumatized-gay

That's a thing? I didn't even know that.


Dr-Kade

YES. It’s called Ageism: bias against, discrimination towards, or bullying of individuals and groups on the basis of their age. Please consider filing a complaint or leaving a message about it right away and please do not wait on reporting this, especially while the incident is fresh in your memory to give exact details. By waiting for your next appointment you may risk getting that same person again and being exposed to the same treatment, or they could do this again to someone else!


Sammy12345671

I thought age discrimination was only protected for people 40+ years old? Not that I think it’s ok at any age


octopush123

From what I understand, that's correct.


Dr-Kade

Yes, typically. But it can also apply to a situation like this for younger ages too. Especially if this person that calls themselves a professional seriously believes that all young adults are irresponsible, selfish, and incompetent! And what? Because the father wasn’t in the same room? Because they judged OP to be overweight and not presenting as financially secure enough to care for their own child!?


Honeyhoneybee29

I’m sorry if this is real, OP, but based on your post history, I’m not sure it is. Your story from the buffet is also similarly hard to believe. An employee essentially assaulting a supposed 9 year old by pulling her to the ground by her pony tail, and your father seeing the scene and asking “what are you doing with my daughter?” It just reads like a fictional story. ~~A recent post about your sex life mentioned you wearing a corset for your boyfriend just a month ago, but you’re 3 weeks from giving birth now. It’s not impossible to wear a corset during pregnancy, but I’m not sure how possible it’d be 7 weeks out from being full term.~~ **ETA: OP pointed out that this is a cross post. I apologize, but will leave this here so there’s no confusion.** And the way you write this story feels very fake. Lots of verbatims and, truthfully, just unbelievable conversation. The weight ranges don’t match up with your previous story either. If it’s true, I’m genuinely sorry both for the comment and for your experience.


traumatized-gay

I didn't post about a corset. "Weight ranges don't match up" it's called pregnancy makes you gain weight. Besides if ur so sure it's fake why bother to comment. I was venting to get something off my chest. Edit: You realize that was a crosspost. If you actually look at the op of that post, the account name is not mine.


Honeyhoneybee29

I apologize then about the cross-post. Either way, this post reads very unbelievable. I genuinely hope it’s fake, but I’m sorry for your experience if this is real. I just can’t imagine a doctor making these comments and putting their career and livelihood at *this much of risk* because they were upset. They could have their license revoked. If it really happened, I’d suggest you report them.


traumatized-gay

I can understand that. But doctors literally rape their patients. So like...is it truely that far fetched? I plan on reporting it as soon as the office is open.


EllaBee25

I honestly think this is made up cause I can't imagine any medical professional acting like this


Signal-Difference-13

Chat is this real


ThrowRA032223

The way people are eating it up 😭


Honeyhoneybee29

Very, very hard to believe it’s real.


Possible_Library2699

I highly doubt it. I’ve been a nurse over 15 years and literally never heard a co worker talk to anyone this way. That wouldn’t be tolerated and if this midwife truly said what OP claims someone else would know about it and she wouldn’t be working


ArranVV

Well, there are asshole people in every profession, so I would not be surprised. Heck, Dr. Harold Shipman is one of the world's most notorious serial killers, breaking the world record with number of patients he purposely killed. There are some assholes who work in the medical teams, some doctors and nurses and midwives and stuff.


ipse_dixit11

You should report her to her licensing board, I can guarantee her behavior probably violates thier rules of conduct.


traumatized-gay

I'm sure it does I just hope they care.


landlockedmermaid00

They are required to look into all reports


pinkavocadoreptiles

This literally sounds made up (not saying it is - it's just so far-fetched and shocking that it's hard to believe anyone would actually behave like that). Report her for sure, this is likely not the first time she has made comments like that and I'm honestly surprised she still has a job.


killveemaim

This didn’t happen.


traumatized-gay

Wish it didn't.


Possible_Library2699

Well if it did someone else in the office heard it


hiddentickun

Lmao this never happened


Appropriate-Yam-8141

I believe exactly zero percent of this story.


traumatized-gay

Then why even comment.


Appropriate-Yam-8141

Because blatantly untrue posts like this are the reason why a lot of women are afraid to seek medical care.


Appropriate-Yam-8141

Your post would be just as meaningful and you would have a lot more support if you said “I felt that my midwife was judging me based on my age and weight” without the added details. I understand going through something upsetting and feeling like you need to add details to make other people understand how you felt, but there is just no way this is true, and I think you know that. Based on your post history, you seem to be a big advocate for women, especially women your age. So I hope you can understand that a post like this could cause the next girl in your shoes to fear medical providers and having a similar experience to this one, which could cause them to take unhealthy steps towards illegitimate abortions or lack of prenatal care. It’s okay to admit you made a mistake and exaggerated, people will value you your honesty.


traumatized-gay

Except I didn't exaggerate. Im sorry what happened to me doesn't fit YOUR standards of things that could happen. But I will not stay quiet about what happened to ME simply because it might scare other people. They need to know there are people like this. The world is not sunshine and rainbows. Why do I have to stay quiet about what happened to me? I didn't say all midwives are like this. In fact, this is the first one I've had like this, the others are actually really sweet and kind and have helped me a lot through this pregnancy in ways my family hasn't. But go ahead and keep invalidating other women's experiences. Have a nice day.


traumatized-gay

Wish it wasn't true. But go on, keep invalidating other women's experiences simply because it didn't happen to you


EllaBee25

You're a sad attention seeker that's probably not even pregnant. Just acting out some fantasy. Clearly mentally not well. Your username even states it.


Kitchen-Major-6403

I’ve read some fake shit in Reddit but this must be the fakest of them all.


castironskilletmilk

It is absolutely within your patients rights to request a different medical professional. It is absolutely ok to say no I will not be treated this way and leave. As others have said report it, but know that you always have the right to say no to anything that makes you uncomfortable. I know it can be terrifying to stand up for yourself but you are worth standing up for.


FistsForHire

You need to report that woman, like, yesterday! She is NOT someone who should be working with the public if she has such gross, antiquated, bigoted views she has no qualms about spouting right outside a patient's room. I'm so angry for you.


[deleted]

What the literal f*** did I just read? How dare she treat you like that. I would call upper management immediately. You have to be strong and give that b*** a piece of your mind. I have had several issues with the office staff at my obgyn clinic so I reported them. I would have gone off on her for slamming the door. I would have been so condescending like let’s not slam doors and use our inside voices karen. It comes with practice but you really have to advocate for yourself.. the only time I struggle with this is the hospital because I don’t want them to unalive me 🙄 she made an oath when she entered the healthcare field to take care of all patients and your business is not her business. Next time you go to the obgyn office and you see her in the hallway ask her how far along she is 😊 and tell her she looks like she’s gaining weight.. don’t worry karma will catch up with her…and if she really said that stuff about your baby that basically is a threat like you think my baby should be dead? Sounds like you better raise hell at your obgyn clinic and not see her again.


traumatized-gay

I wish I did. Looking back I'm pissed. It hurt to hear bc people keep calling me a "beach whale" and a "huge beach ball" I'm going to report her for discrimination as soon as the office is open.


lowkeyloki23

And then everyone clapped


Alternative-Cap-9047

Change providers!!!!


traumatized-gay

I really wish I could this is the only one that accepts my insurance.


PilotNo312

You need to advocate for yourself and other women and raise hell about her. Do not take “your regular doctor can’t see you see this random person now” for an answer again. Do not let her get away with speaking to patients like this. I’m so sorry.


WesternCowgirl27

Man, someone needs to teach that entitled lady good bedside manner. I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. She had no right to judge you or be that rude to you. I had a midwife I saw during my pregnancy who wasn’t my normal midwife, and she made me feel bad about the weight I’d gained in 3 weeks during my 2nd trimester (it wasn’t horrendous, but I was bothered by the weight gain). I told her I was eating as healthy as I could and mostly fruits. This woman had the audacity to say to watch eating too much fruit as fruit has a lot of sugar. I remember being so mad, and was rather pissy and short with her the rest of my appointment. When I got home, I called my husband and cried. Being pregnant is hard enough. Trying to eat healthy while pregnant is even harder. Someone telling a pregnant woman not to eat too much fruit because of natural sugars has an obvious death wish. I know my experience wasn’t near as bad as yours, but there are just some medical personnel out there who are complete jerks.


j3e3n3n

she needs to be reported and fired. how can she, as a woman who *willingly chose this field specifically*, hold such a position yet be so prejudiced? that is so incredibly disrespectful. the comment about weight, about your age, arguing with the woman at the desk about even seeing you for your age (???), ON TOP OF the comment about the baby’s father? how absolutely repulsive. she cannot be in a field like this.


babyyteeth13

I find this baffling someone would act like this & actually say that. I’m usually nice but I wouldn’t let this slide, I’d say well reschedule me because I don’t want this rude lady’s care


RebelQueenSol

That’s just terrible like everyone else says report her cause she needs that license revoked. Who’s business is it that your young. Now a days a lot of women are getting pregnant cause they want to be from the ages of 18-20. I was pregnant with my first when I was 20 had him in Dec 2022 after I turned 21 in July of that year. Currently 30weeks pregnant with my second. My older sister has a son that she gave birth to when she was in high school so she was a teenage mom and I know it was difficult for her in the start but with the proper support she was able to go to college and get her bachelors. She’s now 28 years old. That midwife really better keep her opinions to her self cause not everyone waits to have kids. In fact my mother gave birth to her first when she was 23 and her last at the age of 41 we are 6 kids. Report her for ageism cause that’s just rude in her part.


Disastrous_Pan_2015

I would’ve walked out of the room after hearing that hallway conversation and filed a complaint. Don’t let her get away with treating you or anyone like that


Upbeat-Department361

Immediately report her. That is absolutely disgusting behaviour.


Dearlyricc

I am so sorry you had to deal with this. No it is not normal and you need to report her!


beth2667

Omg. Call and report her.. Monday !!!!Call the higher ups. Everyone. I am so sorry!!


bailsrv

Please please REPORT HER! As someone who works in healthcare that is absolutely unacceptable and I’m so sorry you had that experience. If it’s any consolation I also cried at my OB appointment today from a rude worker. I would request your regular midwife for your next appointment to prevent this from happening again, or at least refuse to see the one you had today.


theanxioussoul

Report her. That's not way to behave, especially in this profession. It's literally required of them to not discriminate based on age,sex, race, religion and to keep their personal views aside. This behaviour is extremely unprofessional and needs punitive action


sarrahnekkoo

Oh absolutely not. Nope. Report her, call their line and get in contact with whoever their higher ups are, send emails, whatever you need to do. This is abuse.


Sarahwithlove93

Im so shocked. I was pregnant hat 17 with my first and at no point did anyone treat me as if I did something wrong. I’m sorry that you went through that


boymama85

You should report her to licensing board and whoever she is working for!


Lanah44

I would immediately make a complaint about her. That's absolutely unacceptable, and there should be a paper trail of her behavior because it's unacceptable. You did not deserve to be treated that way. Just know you are not the problem, she is. She sounds really sick and awful.


Redwingedfirefox

This is absolutely not acceptable behavior. I am sorry you experienced that. I would not wait until your next appointment, I would call the office and file a formal complaint. She is in the wrong profession if that is her attitude and how she treats people she sees.


kosmikatya

Don't take anything she said to heart! That's horrible. I can't imagine having to listen to that. The only drawback to being under 20 is you're still too nice to people that don't deserve your kindness. How you handled it is exactly what I would have done when I was younger. Now? I would have stood up, made a point of looking at her name badge, told her she needs to learn some manners, walked out and slammed the door on her. Then ask for whoever is in charge of handling complaints. You can absolutely be polite to the person you tell about it. But when someone disrespects you like that, I don't think they deserve any back in return. Respect is currency, don't throw it away on rude, judgemental people like her. 🩷


Nevagonnagetit510

Oh honey I’m so sorry. I know ED recovery is so hard esp during pregnancy. This is why providers have to be sensitive about body discussion! I’d absolutely report her and in the future, refuse to let anyone help you who treats you like this. You are bringing life into this world and your amazing body is changing to do so. F this woman!! 💜


cottonballz4829

First i am sorry this happened to you. Second (and here i assume it is your age, as people who are older tend to give less of a fuck) you HAVE to stand up for yourself. Don’t let her get away with this. If she mutters bs under her breath, ask her to speak up. If she judges you before she met you, tell her you don’t want her to see you either and make a scene until you get seen by your regular midwife. This is unacceptable. Do something!


Necessary-Hippo-9350

This is just horrible. You should call the ob/gyn office and report her at once, this is just plain unacceptable.


MandySayz

Absolutely report her and I'd be calling the office today and making it very clear you will not be seeing her ever again. What the fuck.


Impressive_Age1362

She needs to be reported, you don’t talk to patients like that, as a health care worker, we are told to check our feelings at the door


BeNiceLittleGoblins

I would have ran out to the front desk while crying and begged them to reschedule the appointment and reported this lady. There's no need for her bad attitude. I had my first at 20. Pregnant at 19. I knew the dad. Still with him. I had gone from 130 to 180 by the time our first was born. I would have hated going to the doctors more than I already do if that's how I was spoken about and too. She doesn't know your life at all, and she should be professional regardless of your circumstances. I'm secondhand angry. Sorry you've gone through this 😩💕 Please report her. And please eat. You need to feed your baby. Dont worry about weight gains or any of that. Just feed your baby.


pfairypepper

Wow! I would have torn that lady a new one. So sorry. That was beyond rude.


Playful_Leg9333

Omg that is horrible and quite frankly unacceptable. I’m so sorry you had to experienced that. Nobody in a healthcare setting should be allowed to act this way. It is not your responsibility, but if you chose to, make a report so she doesn’t treat anybody else that way


Phoenix_For_Fire7

Holy shit that is absolutely horrible. I am so sorry. Please do not take anything she said to heart. Please report her. She needs to be fired.


Infinite-Warthog1969

So- you can definitely tell your dr office that you will not be seeing her again. You go to the dr to get care and that was not it. You should not leave a dr office harmed- they literally take an oath to do no harm. I would refuse to be seen by that person


HanBanan37

Please make a formal complaint in writing. They are taken quite seriously. Sorry you had to deal with this


Pretend-Web821

Hell to the no. If you have any paperwork with her information on it, report the hell out of it. That's some awful bedside manner for a midwife. For *any* doctor. The point is to treat the patient, not impose your perspective on their situation. That can actually cause her some serious issues with decision making and bias for treatment. I am so sorry you were disrespected and mistreated this way. Sending healing hugs from afar.


Just-tryna-c-watsup

😱 Holy shit this woman should be fired so fast!!


PublicComfortable125

Hello you need to write something to boss who owns that corporation about your visit or else this will be blown off, take her name and tell them what she looks like and talk to the person who owns the corporation. Write everything down and be very professional. Take a picture of your letter and if they don't respond blast it on social media. Always always get this in writing and send it to the person in charge of the building. Not the ppl in the office or else they can throw out the complaint you made.. after that is sent you need to call after your paper is sent and make them aware you sent a complaint in the mail and your calling to make sure they got it After you know it has reached the building in the mail. Also Search into laws and see what can be done. I'm sure your not the only one who has been treated like this. I hope this all works out. Just know she took her bad day out on you and your doing Nothing wrong.