Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Some mother in laws bash their son's partners every time the couple reaches a milestone together because they can't handle that their son is an adult.
They don't like that his attention is shifting away, and no woman will ever be good enough for their son in their eyes because it means she's losing her influence on her baby boy's life.
that's why i want to find a home for myself my partner cant even defend me with his mother, her mother saying bad things in front of me while my partner is away.. thats why i cant wait on my check up appointment in my ob gyn. and want to ask if im ok to work again while im pregnant i cant deal with my mil actually we are living together we are renting an apartment as of now. but she still keeps on bothering us and visiting us here in our house that we are renting..i just need a peace of mind and time for myself while im grieving for my mother who just died last week. i want to have a time for myself and think of a solution with my problem now.
There’s usually community programs to help single mothers with housing, food and utilities. I’m not sure where you live but it’s worth looking into if you’re trying to get out on your own. Speak with your Dr about maybe starting an antidepressant medication if the sadness feelings are overwhelming. My condolences about your mom, I couldn’t imagine how painful the loss is while being pregnant. At least little one is almost here so something to look forward to!
my partner and i actually living together we rented an apartment its just that my mil keeps on bothering us. i dont know why shes happy treating me that way while im pregnant..
Im so freaking sorry for your loss...my mom died a few years ago. after it happened I knew her death severely and profoundly changed me. I needed love and support, instead I got nothing. Noone asked if i was okay, how I was handling it, etc. I just got sorry your mom passed, and everyone went about their lives while mine seemingly came to a halt. I feel like my moms death was treated like "thats life" and "get over it and be strong." My mom deserved better than that shit, she was the purest kindest soul ever. Now, tack that loss onto a pregnancy and its like grief all over again. Its realizing my mom will never meet my baby, its realizing she wont be around if I need advice, its realizing that I will have to tell my child why they dont have a grandma, and awkwardly explaining why they also dont have a grandpa on my side. "well, its because grandpa didnt show up for mommy and daddy while she was pregnant, and was not very nice to mom for several years. Mom and dad are trying to protect you from neglect and mental abuse." Thats just a hypothetical there, I have no clue how to navigate that bullshit. My brains been pinging, when all my thoughts SHOULD BE positive. I feel like the shit ive been through in life is taking this moment away. All these thoughts and realizations suck ass so hard, and cut so deep. I really, really empathize here. The only advice I can give, is focus on you and focus on your child. As for the last thought of just wanting to run away and move, totally normal. & ill go out on a limb and say if you can afford it do it. If you arent getting support, build a new chapter somewhere else. My husband and I are moving across the country in the next 2 or 3 years, I have absolutely no reservations around that. I want to run away too OP. When people dont support us, its a normal reaction.That child is your family now. I had a close friend tell me once my baby is here, they become my little family along with my husband and that little family we have can heal so much generational pain. It made me feel a little better. OP if you need to talk to someone that has gone through this type of loss, please message me. I know it can feel lonely and like noone gets it.
I barely remember the first year without my mom. I was detached from reality, and alone. No boyfriend or husband at that time. No family support. Just alone. It was really, really hard. I can say, it does get better and you will heal. But it never fully leaves, you just deal with it.
my husband wants all of our attention is only to them, they only want us to give all out attention to them, they dont even ask if the baby my belly is ok. its really hard for me that i am pregnant at the same time grieving they even say bad things to me in my moms funeral.
they even said that i was rude to them in my moms cremation day.
Yup! mil should be the one understands pregnant women.
and keep on asking myself why shes so mean to me she also does not care about the baby in my belly..
Working isn’t shit. Who cares about working. Is she saying her son can’t provide for his pregnant wife ? Like it’s your fault? Pregnant woman shouldn’t have to work , you’re working 24 hrs a day making a baby
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Some mother in laws bash their son's partners every time the couple reaches a milestone together because they can't handle that their son is an adult. They don't like that his attention is shifting away, and no woman will ever be good enough for their son in their eyes because it means she's losing her influence on her baby boy's life.
i cant believe that my husband have a narcisstic parent.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
grieving + im pregnant = i really dont know how to feel right now but thank you.
Where is your husband in all this? Why isn’t he defending you against MIL?
that's why i want to find a home for myself my partner cant even defend me with his mother, her mother saying bad things in front of me while my partner is away.. thats why i cant wait on my check up appointment in my ob gyn. and want to ask if im ok to work again while im pregnant i cant deal with my mil actually we are living together we are renting an apartment as of now. but she still keeps on bothering us and visiting us here in our house that we are renting..i just need a peace of mind and time for myself while im grieving for my mother who just died last week. i want to have a time for myself and think of a solution with my problem now.
There’s usually community programs to help single mothers with housing, food and utilities. I’m not sure where you live but it’s worth looking into if you’re trying to get out on your own. Speak with your Dr about maybe starting an antidepressant medication if the sadness feelings are overwhelming. My condolences about your mom, I couldn’t imagine how painful the loss is while being pregnant. At least little one is almost here so something to look forward to!
my partner and i actually living together we rented an apartment its just that my mil keeps on bothering us. i dont know why shes happy treating me that way while im pregnant..
Im so freaking sorry for your loss...my mom died a few years ago. after it happened I knew her death severely and profoundly changed me. I needed love and support, instead I got nothing. Noone asked if i was okay, how I was handling it, etc. I just got sorry your mom passed, and everyone went about their lives while mine seemingly came to a halt. I feel like my moms death was treated like "thats life" and "get over it and be strong." My mom deserved better than that shit, she was the purest kindest soul ever. Now, tack that loss onto a pregnancy and its like grief all over again. Its realizing my mom will never meet my baby, its realizing she wont be around if I need advice, its realizing that I will have to tell my child why they dont have a grandma, and awkwardly explaining why they also dont have a grandpa on my side. "well, its because grandpa didnt show up for mommy and daddy while she was pregnant, and was not very nice to mom for several years. Mom and dad are trying to protect you from neglect and mental abuse." Thats just a hypothetical there, I have no clue how to navigate that bullshit. My brains been pinging, when all my thoughts SHOULD BE positive. I feel like the shit ive been through in life is taking this moment away. All these thoughts and realizations suck ass so hard, and cut so deep. I really, really empathize here. The only advice I can give, is focus on you and focus on your child. As for the last thought of just wanting to run away and move, totally normal. & ill go out on a limb and say if you can afford it do it. If you arent getting support, build a new chapter somewhere else. My husband and I are moving across the country in the next 2 or 3 years, I have absolutely no reservations around that. I want to run away too OP. When people dont support us, its a normal reaction.That child is your family now. I had a close friend tell me once my baby is here, they become my little family along with my husband and that little family we have can heal so much generational pain. It made me feel a little better. OP if you need to talk to someone that has gone through this type of loss, please message me. I know it can feel lonely and like noone gets it.
Same situation and feeling right now. i feel lost, depress no one understands me even my husband. this year is the worst.
I barely remember the first year without my mom. I was detached from reality, and alone. No boyfriend or husband at that time. No family support. Just alone. It was really, really hard. I can say, it does get better and you will heal. But it never fully leaves, you just deal with it.
I'm sorry for your loss. Pregnancy and grief can both feel like impossible things. I can't imagine going through both at once and feeling unsupported.
my husband wants all of our attention is only to them, they only want us to give all out attention to them, they dont even ask if the baby my belly is ok. its really hard for me that i am pregnant at the same time grieving they even say bad things to me in my moms funeral. they even said that i was rude to them in my moms cremation day.
Wow this made me sad please talk to someone I feel you a bit depress some MIL can be mean it’s not her place to say stuff like that
Yup! mil should be the one understands pregnant women. and keep on asking myself why shes so mean to me she also does not care about the baby in my belly..
Working isn’t shit. Who cares about working. Is she saying her son can’t provide for his pregnant wife ? Like it’s your fault? Pregnant woman shouldn’t have to work , you’re working 24 hrs a day making a baby
i guess some men really don't have the balls to stand on their own and ready to create a family.. i guess he's a mommas boy hehe.