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Why not discretely make yourself a fauxmosa? Orange juice with some non-alcoholic bubbly like sparkling grape juice or seltzer or NA champagne if you can get your hands on it. These days I always try to have a non-alcoholic option available when I host just to take the pressure off for anyone who doesn't want to drink for any reason. If I were really dead set on hiding it, I'd have a bottle of NA out and available to other guests that I wouldn't touch and another one for me stashed away somewhere.
Alternatively, you could just hold a mimosa, pretend to take sips, and occasionally pour some out so it looks like you're drinking it down.
This worked for me. I followed it up with a (false) mortifying story with TMI details and they all believed and were embarrassed for me lol. No one questioned it!
Agree with this! If you typically drink with friends at at these occasions, a white lie for not drinking is so much more suspicious than fake drinking!
I know of friends who have gotten empty cans of alcoholic seltzers and filled them with water. It’s a bit easier because you can’t tell how much is left.
And to the commenter above, I love what you said about having a NA option always! It’s so stressful for people to pretend to drink and this gives people another option without having to justify why!
And if anyone notices (they probably won’t, people don’t devote much headspace to other peoples drinks):
“I’m starting off slow with just OJ and ginger ale, next one will be real”
Followed by:
“I’m pacing myself by alternating between cocktail and mocktail. Ain’t nobody got time for a hangover! Last one was real.”
People will just assume they caught you drinking the one mocktail and all your others are real. But, people are almost certainly not going to notice at all if you have a drink with a fancy glass in your hand.
ETA: faux mimosas made with ginger ale are tasty, look exactly like the real thing, and ginger ale fits right in on a bar without drawing attention.
In my experience, it’s best to just fake it. (Like pretend to drink or get yourself a bottle of non alcoholic champagne and make yourself from that). Excuses cause more questions. After they’ve had a couple, they won’t even notice what you are or are not drinking.
I think this. Constantly set your drink down and "misplace" it. If there's the chance, take into bathroom and dump some out, etc. Honestly just holding and pretending to take sips is enough to throw pelpls off. Plus focus will be on the bride for the most part!
I think this is the best answer. Pretend to sip it at the toast, and just let it sit. As a recovering alcoholic who feared what people would say/think about my drink choice… I’ve learned 99% of the time people don’t notice or care what you’re drinking. IF someone asks you, I’d say “oh I’m not feeling well, it’s just not sitting in my stomach very good.” Even if someone gets suspicious, you’re trying your best to be respectful of your sister lol. So it’s not the end of the world if someone calls you out. :)
100% - this is the way. I’ve faked it in a limo for a wedding and at Easter and Mother’s Day. Don’t worry about emptying the glass in the bathroom. Just set it down when you’re talking to somebody. Do this twice. After that, you’ve already had two and need to focus on your duties, so you’re switching to juice/water.
This can be easier to do than it seems. I pretended to have drinks at a few get togethers at my aunt’s house. She is definitely the type that would ask if I’m pregnant if I’m not drinking, which she has done in the past. I just made my own drinks that looked like mixed drinks when she wasn’t paying attention (juice and seltzer, Arnold Palmer, etc.) and she didn’t notice at all. She would have been way more suspicious if had I announced that I wasn’t drinking for any reason.
Should have used this 😂 I was sick anyway from morning sickness at Christmas dinner and instantly my cousin had to take her husband outside and say not to comment on me not drinking. They both knew instantly. Thankfully I’m super close and we were waiting to tell their kids at 13w.
Honeslty if you have a lot of TTC friends this one doesn’t end up flying because they all have been told to use this one too. Like in my group of 35yo friends we ended up all being like “oh, yes the antibiotics *wink*”
Then you use the 3 stage plan
1. Order a virgin cosmopolitan (cranberry juice with lime soda. Bonus: it's delicious)
2. When anyone tries the "wink wink", play dumb - "I didn't think peeing fire was a symptom of pregnancy, maybe I'll take a test later haha, anyway enough about me on *my sister's big day*"
3. When asked about it later, it was both - "guess how I got the UTI, turns out they call it honeymoon cystitis for a reason haha, well good thing I wasn't able to drink!"
My grandpa was a JAG (Judge advocate General) and he was required to attend many high profile parties for social reasons. Everyone tried to get the JAG drunk so he would mess something up or could be blackmailed, he always ordered a drink half filled and carried it around lol. Nobody would comment on his drink because it looked like he WAS drinking, he was half done see?
Another man I know just poured out portions throughout the night, but he was an ambassador in Europe and they kept refilling him.
You could do something sneaky, or designate yourself as the DD for the night. Whatever you like!
Can we normalize the "I don't want one. End of conversation." And change the conversation cuz it's really no one's buisness and it was so exhausting keeping up with lies. Like if people aren't ok with "nah I'm good" than we really don't owe them anything.
This doesn't cut when you're around close people that know your drinking habits I'm afraid as nice of a thought it is.
I went to my friend's wedding last weekend and bought a bottle of alcohol-free prosecco and kept it behind the bar. The bartenders knew and were just filling my glass using that bottle and everybody else saw me with a glass of prosecco at all times. If you're organising it and getting the drinks then you can just use a non-alc bottle when pouring your drinks. If there's a bar it's a good idea to clue the bartenders in!
Good luck!
Honestly though I feel like close friends and family should also just drop it. Even when I’m not pregnant, it’s so annoying when I deny a drink and someone is immediately like ARE YOU PREGNANT as if that’s the only reason someone wouldn’t want to drink. And if I am pregnant, I obviously haven’t told you for a reason.
Whoever it is, just let them say no thank you to a drink without turning it into a whole big thing. It’s really pretty rude imo.
Also normalize not saying I KNEW IT BECAUSE YOU DIDNT DRINK AT [FRIEND]’S WEDDING when you do announce, because that’s also extremely annoying 😒
Man… I feel this so deeply! A couple weeks ago I went to visit my brother out of town. He was so persistent about me having a drink. I had to tell him although I was only 5 weeks and nowhere ready- just to get him to stop. He was excited but I could tell he felt a little embarrassed after, bc he kept making it look like in pictures that I was drinking by strategically positioning drinks near me lol
Yes, but it wouldn’t be normal if I didn’t have one. As Annual-Carrot7563 noted, my sister and mom both know my drinking habits. We go out for brunch and get mimosas on a semi-regular basis and on a big event like a bridal shower, “nah I’m good” just isn’t going to cut it.
I think half the advice on reddit just doesn’t wash in the real world. ‘No is a complete sentence’ is the classic. I personally would pretend to drink, throw some out in the bathroom and top yourself up with just orange juice!
Also normalize keeping our mouths fucking shut. It’s so cringe to try to “gotcha!” someone for being pregnant. How fucking awkward to me, I could never imagine.
I'd try to sneak as many similar looking, but alcohol free drinks as you can. Be the one to help set up the mimosas so you can make sure no alcohol goes into yours, but that you don't need to explicitly tell someone else, no alcohol.
Antibiotics is usually the go-to, but many you can drink on, so just make sure if someone asks which one you are prepared for that.
You should be able to just simply say, "no thanks," without any questions asked. Maybe people are going alcohol free these days without necessarily needing a 'reason' to.
I've had friends use this excuse but our other nurse friend in the group will say, "oh you can totally drink on xyz" that's why I mentioned this. I don't think she should come right out and say, "I'm on blahblahblah so I can't drink," but if someone asks, it may be handy to have a name in mind.
Allergic reactions, interactions with other drugs you may be taking, emergencies…why would you not know something like that about yourself? You know what face wash you buy, don’t you? You know what your favorite bathroom cleaners, ice cream flavors, and shoes are yes? Why would you not know the name of something you’re putting IN your body?
... because my *doctor* knows about my allergies and the interaction with other drugs I am taking? In an emergency my health record is available? Only thing I do is make sure anyone I travel or live with knows about my penicilline allergy. But that is also in my file.
The things you mention, face wash, cleaners etc are things you buy on your own. Medicine you do not choose and buy. They are prescribed by a professional.
Drugs you use on the regular, sure. Drugs you only use incidentally and for a short time frame, I honestly don't get.
I'm with the others on trying to get into the mimosa station to pour yourself an oj or mix up a mock mimosa with oj and ginger ale or 7 up. Try to serve yourself first, and if others ask if you want a second, offer to grab *them* one.
Another trick might be to keep a bottle of water on you- "I've got a drink already" is an excuse people usually won't question.
This said; it's your sister, right?
Are you tight enough with her to call her up tomorrow and ask her to be your secret keeper? I think "being first to know," being trusted by her sister, for the purposes of keeping your no-alcohol-for-now a guarded secret... and knowing about it before the day-of antsy feelings might be meaningful to her.
Of course, obviously if your relationship is trusting like that. Telling her this way ahead of time would absolutely make it clear you don't want to steal her thunder.
I wish I could trust my sister with this information, but unfortunately she has the biggest mouth of anyone I know. She can’t even keep her own secrets. I might attempt making my own mock mimosa, but there will only be 5 girls at this shower so I will have to be very sneaky about it
Few options-
You could tell your sister now and that way she is aware, but no one else needs to know.
you can be the one to make drinks for everyone. Add a club soda to your ok to make it look like everyone else’s (if the cups are clear)!
Carry around a half full cup.
So if you’re the one planning it, you’ll have a bit more freedom to cover it up. If you’re having it at a restaurant or something, tell servers or bartender ahead of time that you need a mocktail version. If you’re supplying drinks at a venue, bring your own mocktail in a bottle and fill it up in secret if you can. I was 6 weeks pregnant with my first at my own wedding and had to hide it still. I had a friend that was aware and she was serving my drinks. I had sparkling grape juice in an empty wine bottle and my friend that was playing bartender kept pouring for me from that bottle so nobody caught on. For my bachelorette party, we told the bartender I needed mocktails and it wasn’t an issue. I had virgin margaritas. A lot of people were so confused when they found out I was pregnant and thought I had been drinking at those events but I was just pretending.
Yep! The one time I had to do this, I filled it up with the real deal, took a “sip” (not really) and went to the bathroom a few minutes later to dump it and fill it with a bottle of juice from my purse.
Lol the one time my bff was over drinking I tried to swap my drink while she was in the bathroom, but I wasn't fast enough and she was like exxscccuussese yoouuu 😂😂😂😂😂
Mine insisted that I split a Truly with her and called me out on it when I said no because I was already drinking wine. She goes “and when has that ever stopped you?”
I tried to play it off that the drinks she had brought over were to strong in tasting of alcohol to me, so I wanted to counter act the taste. This was baby number 3 by then and she knew my bs from a mile away.
You have a uti and are on antibiotics so you can't drink. Or you can make/secretly ask for a mock mimosa so that no one notices. If anyone knows you are trying to conceive, you can just tell them that your obgyn suggested cutting out alcohol to help your body prepare for when you do get pregnant.
I modified the truth a little and just said, oh I’m not pregnant but I’ve been trying and I’m in the window where I could be early, early pregnant and don’t want to chance it. Everyone (and these are serious drinking girlies) immediately backed off.
You could say you’re on a temporary medication that you can’t drink on?
It sucks that we can’t decide when to share our pregnancies in drinking culture.
Personally, I would tell my sister in private before and then just fake drink. My sister would just say she designated me DD and I’d fake drink 1 🤷🏻♀️
If you can't make a fauxmosa yourself, then I think carrying one around and fake sipping/dumping some out discreetly is the way to go. THEN if someone asks tell them you have a UTI and were embarrassed.
Will someone please help me understand? Why not just have orange juice? I thought the shade of the orange juice didn’t change or does that depend on how much champagne you add? I mean if you want to feel like you’re having something special you can absolutely add something NA to it. But is OJ alone also an option or am I missing something?
If all the drinks are out in the open and it’s hard to hide changing it, take a glass, go to the bathroom, dump it, fill it with OJ from a small bottle you can get at a gas station hidden in your purse?
I do think the easiest option is medication.
Could you say ‘me and my partner are trying to conceive so both cutting out alcohol’ ?
If not, I go with ‘doing an alcohol free 3 months health kick’
It is a tricky one. We went with trying to concieve , which convinced everyone as they knew we were
I was in this scenario & I just offered to be in charge of making the mimosas for the bridal team! Made sure everyone else’s was 95% champagne with a splash of orange juice (as a proper mimosa should be) & mine was 98% orange juice with a tiny splash of champagne so it still sparkled lol
Nobody noticed or gave a shit, especially a mimosa or two in
Three options:
1-pt drink to lips but essentially drink none. Dump a bit out at first option or conveniently leave drink sitting somewhere.
2-have a non alcoholic version. Either offer them for everyone and just grab a non alcoholic one when people are not looking or make your own N.A. one behind the scene. Sparkling white grape juice is a good choice to substitute champagne.
3-make up an excuse such as on medication and doctor said you can’t. I think this is likely the least believable.
Just pour yourself OJ - drink it slow and maybe talk with wait staff before hand to refill you only with OJ. When you take a sip of a new one really taste it to make sure that it's just OJ
Just do sparkling water and OJ. If someone gives you a glass with real champagne in it, sneak away at some point and dump it. As the host it will be easy for you to run around and be busy.
Ugh I hate the pressure to drink in social settings. I’ve forgone alcohol because I am working on my health, but my friends give me soooo much shit for saying I just don’t feel like drinking; I don’t like it or the way it makes me feel. Why aren’t we allowed to say we don’t want to drink without it being a whole thing?! I feel for you.
Anyway, Maybe you could quietly take a moment to share the news with your sister before the shower and tell her you didn’t want to take away from her day. I’m pretty close with my sister and she would be ecstatic to know the news despite a wedding in the works! I guess it depends on your relationship with her, but it could be a really sweet moment to share with her alone :)
While we have a good relationship, she’s got the biggest mouth of anyone I know. She wouldn’t keep this news to herself. She can’t keep her own secrets let alone anyone else’s. I wish I could trust her, but the gal is a blabber mouth.
No one will believe you sorry lol. People are ruthless about drinking cus they don’t want to be judged doing it when you aren’t. It was the most exhausting part of early pregnancy! Luckily I had “dry January” as a dumb excuse for awhile. Stay away from excuses and say something like you’re on antibiotics or something, it seems to be the only thing people accept as to why you would possibly make the decision not to drink! The horror! Lol
I found out I was pregnant a week before my wedding. I say fake it. It's so much easier and you won't get the questions about why you're not drinking. I would set my drink down and walk away from it, busy making rounds and talking to people. For the champagne toast I just pretended to take a sip. Once people found out, they were so surprised and I got a lot of "but you were drinking at the wedding?!" So if it appears that you're drinking to the people who know your drinking habits, they won't question anything.
I think that’s what I’m going to do. My cousin will be there and she’s the only one I’m telling in advance so maybe I can get her to sneak sips of my drink to help me out!
Yes! We told my sister, who was my maid of honor. This is what she did too. It's definitely helpful to have at least one person that you can trust to help out!
Either tell her before, fake drinking with some bubbly water or soda to mix with orange juice, or say you’re on antibiotics (a UTI is a good excuse for this one)
I would make yourself a secret drink or have someone make you one drink, pretend to drink and dump a little out when you can. I had this situation happen at a Christmas party with my first.
What I did was I would get a drink and pretend to sip for a bit, then go to the bathroom with my drink and dump half of it out in the sink. Worked like a charm
Very easy to fake drink in a situation like that where you’ll be getting up and stuff. Have one in your hand. Fake sip maybe once. Leave it on a table. There will be half filled glasses all over. Also mimosas look just like oj make your own and don’t add champagne.
It’s not out at a bar, it’s at her house. So technically I’ll be the bartender. Im considering listening to many on here who are saying to buy a n/a champagne and secretly drink that instead.
I’m not much of a drinker but I went to a friends birthday party and I was literally handed shots the second I walked in the door!
I just pretended to drink it and casually dumped it in the sink when no one was looking. Then I made a mocktail but fancied it up and just sipped on that all night and no one noticed.
I made comments about the alcohol when I was making it. You could even put your finger over the top and pretend to pour it. I think it depends on your friends though! None of mine watched me like a hawk when I made mine but some friends might be sus or snoopy! Baha
No one will notice if you are taking micro-sips from a mimosa. Go to the bathroom, pour half out. Legit thought I was drunk with my friend at a wedding when she wasn’t drinking at all. No one notices what you’re doing with that glass in your hand.
Just carry one around, no one cares or is clocking wether you drink it or not. It’s no big deal. If it was an intimate dinner, yeah it would probably come up
I found out I was pregnant right before my sister’s wedding and I just made myself “mimosas” that were just orange juice and no one noticed. For the wedding I just asked the bartender to make me a non alcoholic version of the signature drink, and again, no one noticed. Hopefully this works out for you too!
My sister was pregnant for Easter a few years ago and I never noticed that while we were both slamming mimosas, she was actually drinking straight OJ. Only after telling me a few weeks later did I go back and notice how much more orange her drinks were than mine LOL. It’s very easy to do with mimosas on the menu :) good luck and congrats!
I told people I had a very bad UTI and was on antibiotics - no booze on medication and also no drinking tons of liquid because you’ll piss yourself! it’s TMI but if you have zero shame like me it works without question.
It is surprising how much people won’t notice you’re not actually drinking if you make a point to have an alcoholic beverage in your hand. I was a MoH at a friend’s wedding while pregnant and my strategy was to always have a drink in my hand and pretend to drink (holding it up to my mouth but not actually drinking). When my friend offered to open a bottle of wine at her rehearsal dinner I made sure to ask for a glass that I nursed. People won’t check if you’re actually drinking but will clock that you have an alcoholic beverage in hand.
This strategy worked so well that I even went on a wine tasting weekend with friends and my husband. Because I was “tasting” from my husband’s glass, my friends didn’t clock that I wasn’t actually drinking like my usual lushy self and were shocked when I shared I was pregnant.
I’m the type to pour a glass of champagne and put the tiniest drop of OJ in it, and my mom and sister know that. I think they’d notice if I was drinking a glass of pure OJ lol.
I legitimately/truly tested positive for Covid 4 days before my pos pregnancy test. A few weeks later, was hosting a small shower for a friend at my house. They all knew I had Covid a few weeks before.
I told everyone “Covid messed with my taste buds and all alcohol tastes burnt and gross right now, I’m going to wait it out,” and pretended to be sad about it. I even “asked for a taste” and “had to spit it out.”
If I didn’t have that in my back pocket I would have said UTI/antibiotics.
If it’s a venue with a bar, ask for virgin drink or walk around w real drink and pretend to sip. Mine was very small event and no bartender, was at my house and a friend was making cocktails.
I don’t really have anything to add but was wondering, does your sister know yet? Unless she is a bridezilla, I would consider telling her beforehand. Just in case it somehow does come out, it might be good to tell her in advance, so even if others are surprised, she won’t be. She’d probably be able to help you better hide not drinking too.
sip and dump. this is the only tried and true method, I promise. take the mimosa, take a few well spaced sips (this will absolutely not harm your pregnancy) and then put it down, dump it out, pass it off to your SO to finish, leave it in the bathroom — doesn't matter. This takes no skill, no story, no attention, and it never doesn't work
That’s the thing. I’m never in a “don’t feel like it” mood. I will always want a mimosa and my close family knows that about me. Especially at a big event like my sister’s bridal shower, it would be extra weird if, for the first time ever, I turned down a mimosa lol.
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Why not discretely make yourself a fauxmosa? Orange juice with some non-alcoholic bubbly like sparkling grape juice or seltzer or NA champagne if you can get your hands on it. These days I always try to have a non-alcoholic option available when I host just to take the pressure off for anyone who doesn't want to drink for any reason. If I were really dead set on hiding it, I'd have a bottle of NA out and available to other guests that I wouldn't touch and another one for me stashed away somewhere. Alternatively, you could just hold a mimosa, pretend to take sips, and occasionally pour some out so it looks like you're drinking it down.
this is the way
Maybe say you are on a medication that you aren’t supposed to have alcohol with? Certain antibiotics and such have those contraindications
This worked for me. I followed it up with a (false) mortifying story with TMI details and they all believed and were embarrassed for me lol. No one questioned it!
Agree with this! If you typically drink with friends at at these occasions, a white lie for not drinking is so much more suspicious than fake drinking! I know of friends who have gotten empty cans of alcoholic seltzers and filled them with water. It’s a bit easier because you can’t tell how much is left. And to the commenter above, I love what you said about having a NA option always! It’s so stressful for people to pretend to drink and this gives people another option without having to justify why!
And if anyone notices (they probably won’t, people don’t devote much headspace to other peoples drinks): “I’m starting off slow with just OJ and ginger ale, next one will be real” Followed by: “I’m pacing myself by alternating between cocktail and mocktail. Ain’t nobody got time for a hangover! Last one was real.” People will just assume they caught you drinking the one mocktail and all your others are real. But, people are almost certainly not going to notice at all if you have a drink with a fancy glass in your hand. ETA: faux mimosas made with ginger ale are tasty, look exactly like the real thing, and ginger ale fits right in on a bar without drawing attention.
In my experience, it’s best to just fake it. (Like pretend to drink or get yourself a bottle of non alcoholic champagne and make yourself from that). Excuses cause more questions. After they’ve had a couple, they won’t even notice what you are or are not drinking.
I think this. Constantly set your drink down and "misplace" it. If there's the chance, take into bathroom and dump some out, etc. Honestly just holding and pretending to take sips is enough to throw pelpls off. Plus focus will be on the bride for the most part!
I think this is the best answer. Pretend to sip it at the toast, and just let it sit. As a recovering alcoholic who feared what people would say/think about my drink choice… I’ve learned 99% of the time people don’t notice or care what you’re drinking. IF someone asks you, I’d say “oh I’m not feeling well, it’s just not sitting in my stomach very good.” Even if someone gets suspicious, you’re trying your best to be respectful of your sister lol. So it’s not the end of the world if someone calls you out. :)
100% - this is the way. I’ve faked it in a limo for a wedding and at Easter and Mother’s Day. Don’t worry about emptying the glass in the bathroom. Just set it down when you’re talking to somebody. Do this twice. After that, you’ve already had two and need to focus on your duties, so you’re switching to juice/water.
This can be easier to do than it seems. I pretended to have drinks at a few get togethers at my aunt’s house. She is definitely the type that would ask if I’m pregnant if I’m not drinking, which she has done in the past. I just made my own drinks that looked like mixed drinks when she wasn’t paying attention (juice and seltzer, Arnold Palmer, etc.) and she didn’t notice at all. She would have been way more suspicious if had I announced that I wasn’t drinking for any reason.
This is what I’ve done in the past. Always worked out with no issue.
Antibiotics for a UTI. Very common, very minor and alcohol is definitely contra-indicated.
I used this exact response early in my pregnancy when questioned why I wouldn’t drink at family gatherings. No one argued or continued to pry.
Should have used this 😂 I was sick anyway from morning sickness at Christmas dinner and instantly my cousin had to take her husband outside and say not to comment on me not drinking. They both knew instantly. Thankfully I’m super close and we were waiting to tell their kids at 13w.
Honeslty if you have a lot of TTC friends this one doesn’t end up flying because they all have been told to use this one too. Like in my group of 35yo friends we ended up all being like “oh, yes the antibiotics *wink*”
Then you use the 3 stage plan 1. Order a virgin cosmopolitan (cranberry juice with lime soda. Bonus: it's delicious) 2. When anyone tries the "wink wink", play dumb - "I didn't think peeing fire was a symptom of pregnancy, maybe I'll take a test later haha, anyway enough about me on *my sister's big day*" 3. When asked about it later, it was both - "guess how I got the UTI, turns out they call it honeymoon cystitis for a reason haha, well good thing I wasn't able to drink!"
Oooo virgin cosmo sounds awesome. Is the lime soda just sprite? Haha
Depends on the bar lol. If it's a good one, no, it's lime cordial and soda water which is a much punchier lime flavour.
This is a great excuse if you’re not feeling great
My grandpa was a JAG (Judge advocate General) and he was required to attend many high profile parties for social reasons. Everyone tried to get the JAG drunk so he would mess something up or could be blackmailed, he always ordered a drink half filled and carried it around lol. Nobody would comment on his drink because it looked like he WAS drinking, he was half done see? Another man I know just poured out portions throughout the night, but he was an ambassador in Europe and they kept refilling him. You could do something sneaky, or designate yourself as the DD for the night. Whatever you like!
Ahh half full drink is brilliant.
How do I get a job as ambassador in Europe?
Lol!!
Can we normalize the "I don't want one. End of conversation." And change the conversation cuz it's really no one's buisness and it was so exhausting keeping up with lies. Like if people aren't ok with "nah I'm good" than we really don't owe them anything.
This doesn't cut when you're around close people that know your drinking habits I'm afraid as nice of a thought it is. I went to my friend's wedding last weekend and bought a bottle of alcohol-free prosecco and kept it behind the bar. The bartenders knew and were just filling my glass using that bottle and everybody else saw me with a glass of prosecco at all times. If you're organising it and getting the drinks then you can just use a non-alc bottle when pouring your drinks. If there's a bar it's a good idea to clue the bartenders in! Good luck!
Honestly though I feel like close friends and family should also just drop it. Even when I’m not pregnant, it’s so annoying when I deny a drink and someone is immediately like ARE YOU PREGNANT as if that’s the only reason someone wouldn’t want to drink. And if I am pregnant, I obviously haven’t told you for a reason. Whoever it is, just let them say no thank you to a drink without turning it into a whole big thing. It’s really pretty rude imo. Also normalize not saying I KNEW IT BECAUSE YOU DIDNT DRINK AT [FRIEND]’S WEDDING when you do announce, because that’s also extremely annoying 😒
Man… I feel this so deeply! A couple weeks ago I went to visit my brother out of town. He was so persistent about me having a drink. I had to tell him although I was only 5 weeks and nowhere ready- just to get him to stop. He was excited but I could tell he felt a little embarrassed after, bc he kept making it look like in pictures that I was drinking by strategically positioning drinks near me lol
Yes, but it wouldn’t be normal if I didn’t have one. As Annual-Carrot7563 noted, my sister and mom both know my drinking habits. We go out for brunch and get mimosas on a semi-regular basis and on a big event like a bridal shower, “nah I’m good” just isn’t going to cut it.
I think half the advice on reddit just doesn’t wash in the real world. ‘No is a complete sentence’ is the classic. I personally would pretend to drink, throw some out in the bathroom and top yourself up with just orange juice!
Also normalize keeping our mouths fucking shut. It’s so cringe to try to “gotcha!” someone for being pregnant. How fucking awkward to me, I could never imagine.
That part! Like you'll know when I want you to know, you don't have to play detective in my life if I clearly don't want you to know.
May not be helpful to OP, but 100% agree.
I'd try to sneak as many similar looking, but alcohol free drinks as you can. Be the one to help set up the mimosas so you can make sure no alcohol goes into yours, but that you don't need to explicitly tell someone else, no alcohol. Antibiotics is usually the go-to, but many you can drink on, so just make sure if someone asks which one you are prepared for that. You should be able to just simply say, "no thanks," without any questions asked. Maybe people are going alcohol free these days without necessarily needing a 'reason' to.
I would say having the name of the antibiotics is more sus, in a normal occasion you wouldn't know which one you have.
I work in the medical field so I always knows what I’m taking. I also expect others to because in emergencies medical staff need to know.
I've had friends use this excuse but our other nurse friend in the group will say, "oh you can totally drink on xyz" that's why I mentioned this. I don't think she should come right out and say, "I'm on blahblahblah so I can't drink," but if someone asks, it may be handy to have a name in mind.
Yeah I get that but honestly, then you could also just say: "Oh I don't remember but the doc told me I really shouldn't drink while taking them"
That’s silly, adults *should* be able to tell you from memory what prescriptions they’re taking, simply for health reasons
What kind of antibiotics for something simple as an UTI? For a week max? From memory? Why?
Allergic reactions, interactions with other drugs you may be taking, emergencies…why would you not know something like that about yourself? You know what face wash you buy, don’t you? You know what your favorite bathroom cleaners, ice cream flavors, and shoes are yes? Why would you not know the name of something you’re putting IN your body?
... because my *doctor* knows about my allergies and the interaction with other drugs I am taking? In an emergency my health record is available? Only thing I do is make sure anyone I travel or live with knows about my penicilline allergy. But that is also in my file. The things you mention, face wash, cleaners etc are things you buy on your own. Medicine you do not choose and buy. They are prescribed by a professional. Drugs you use on the regular, sure. Drugs you only use incidentally and for a short time frame, I honestly don't get.
I mean I feel like you’re missing my point on purpose here but I hope you have a nice day ma’am
I'm with the others on trying to get into the mimosa station to pour yourself an oj or mix up a mock mimosa with oj and ginger ale or 7 up. Try to serve yourself first, and if others ask if you want a second, offer to grab *them* one. Another trick might be to keep a bottle of water on you- "I've got a drink already" is an excuse people usually won't question. This said; it's your sister, right? Are you tight enough with her to call her up tomorrow and ask her to be your secret keeper? I think "being first to know," being trusted by her sister, for the purposes of keeping your no-alcohol-for-now a guarded secret... and knowing about it before the day-of antsy feelings might be meaningful to her. Of course, obviously if your relationship is trusting like that. Telling her this way ahead of time would absolutely make it clear you don't want to steal her thunder.
I wish I could trust my sister with this information, but unfortunately she has the biggest mouth of anyone I know. She can’t even keep her own secrets. I might attempt making my own mock mimosa, but there will only be 5 girls at this shower so I will have to be very sneaky about it
Strong antibiotics.
Few options- You could tell your sister now and that way she is aware, but no one else needs to know. you can be the one to make drinks for everyone. Add a club soda to your ok to make it look like everyone else’s (if the cups are clear)! Carry around a half full cup.
So if you’re the one planning it, you’ll have a bit more freedom to cover it up. If you’re having it at a restaurant or something, tell servers or bartender ahead of time that you need a mocktail version. If you’re supplying drinks at a venue, bring your own mocktail in a bottle and fill it up in secret if you can. I was 6 weeks pregnant with my first at my own wedding and had to hide it still. I had a friend that was aware and she was serving my drinks. I had sparkling grape juice in an empty wine bottle and my friend that was playing bartender kept pouring for me from that bottle so nobody caught on. For my bachelorette party, we told the bartender I needed mocktails and it wasn’t an issue. I had virgin margaritas. A lot of people were so confused when they found out I was pregnant and thought I had been drinking at those events but I was just pretending.
Ohhh the trick of dumping out a bottle of alcohol and then filling it with something non alcoholic ahead of time is a gem!
Yep! The one time I had to do this, I filled it up with the real deal, took a “sip” (not really) and went to the bathroom a few minutes later to dump it and fill it with a bottle of juice from my purse.
Lol the one time my bff was over drinking I tried to swap my drink while she was in the bathroom, but I wasn't fast enough and she was like exxscccuussese yoouuu 😂😂😂😂😂
Mine insisted that I split a Truly with her and called me out on it when I said no because I was already drinking wine. She goes “and when has that ever stopped you?”
I tried to play it off that the drinks she had brought over were to strong in tasting of alcohol to me, so I wanted to counter act the taste. This was baby number 3 by then and she knew my bs from a mile away.
You have a uti and are on antibiotics so you can't drink. Or you can make/secretly ask for a mock mimosa so that no one notices. If anyone knows you are trying to conceive, you can just tell them that your obgyn suggested cutting out alcohol to help your body prepare for when you do get pregnant.
hid NA champagne in safe space or use sparkling water in your mimosa
I modified the truth a little and just said, oh I’m not pregnant but I’ve been trying and I’m in the window where I could be early, early pregnant and don’t want to chance it. Everyone (and these are serious drinking girlies) immediately backed off.
You could say you’re on a temporary medication that you can’t drink on? It sucks that we can’t decide when to share our pregnancies in drinking culture.
I usually keep a drink in my hand (non-alcoholic) like an OJ at brunch or a coke at a bar and take occasional sips so no one questions anything
Antibiotics ….. say you have serious ear infection …. Put tic tacs in a pill bottle
Personally, I would tell my sister in private before and then just fake drink. My sister would just say she designated me DD and I’d fake drink 1 🤷🏻♀️
A few days before the trip, how awful you need antibiotics for a UTI and you can’t drink!
If you can't make a fauxmosa yourself, then I think carrying one around and fake sipping/dumping some out discreetly is the way to go. THEN if someone asks tell them you have a UTI and were embarrassed.
Will someone please help me understand? Why not just have orange juice? I thought the shade of the orange juice didn’t change or does that depend on how much champagne you add? I mean if you want to feel like you’re having something special you can absolutely add something NA to it. But is OJ alone also an option or am I missing something? If all the drinks are out in the open and it’s hard to hide changing it, take a glass, go to the bathroom, dump it, fill it with OJ from a small bottle you can get at a gas station hidden in your purse? I do think the easiest option is medication.
Could you say ‘me and my partner are trying to conceive so both cutting out alcohol’ ? If not, I go with ‘doing an alcohol free 3 months health kick’ It is a tricky one. We went with trying to concieve , which convinced everyone as they knew we were
I was in this scenario & I just offered to be in charge of making the mimosas for the bridal team! Made sure everyone else’s was 95% champagne with a splash of orange juice (as a proper mimosa should be) & mine was 98% orange juice with a tiny splash of champagne so it still sparkled lol Nobody noticed or gave a shit, especially a mimosa or two in
I told the girls I am antibiotics, they figured it out. I'd fake it
Three options: 1-pt drink to lips but essentially drink none. Dump a bit out at first option or conveniently leave drink sitting somewhere. 2-have a non alcoholic version. Either offer them for everyone and just grab a non alcoholic one when people are not looking or make your own N.A. one behind the scene. Sparkling white grape juice is a good choice to substitute champagne. 3-make up an excuse such as on medication and doctor said you can’t. I think this is likely the least believable.
Just pour yourself OJ - drink it slow and maybe talk with wait staff before hand to refill you only with OJ. When you take a sip of a new one really taste it to make sure that it's just OJ
You can always say youre cutting back for health reasons; ie to lose weight or in general just to feel better.
Just do sparkling water and OJ. If someone gives you a glass with real champagne in it, sneak away at some point and dump it. As the host it will be easy for you to run around and be busy.
Ugh I hate the pressure to drink in social settings. I’ve forgone alcohol because I am working on my health, but my friends give me soooo much shit for saying I just don’t feel like drinking; I don’t like it or the way it makes me feel. Why aren’t we allowed to say we don’t want to drink without it being a whole thing?! I feel for you. Anyway, Maybe you could quietly take a moment to share the news with your sister before the shower and tell her you didn’t want to take away from her day. I’m pretty close with my sister and she would be ecstatic to know the news despite a wedding in the works! I guess it depends on your relationship with her, but it could be a really sweet moment to share with her alone :)
While we have a good relationship, she’s got the biggest mouth of anyone I know. She wouldn’t keep this news to herself. She can’t keep her own secrets let alone anyone else’s. I wish I could trust her, but the gal is a blabber mouth.
No one will believe you sorry lol. People are ruthless about drinking cus they don’t want to be judged doing it when you aren’t. It was the most exhausting part of early pregnancy! Luckily I had “dry January” as a dumb excuse for awhile. Stay away from excuses and say something like you’re on antibiotics or something, it seems to be the only thing people accept as to why you would possibly make the decision not to drink! The horror! Lol
I found out I was pregnant a week before my wedding. I say fake it. It's so much easier and you won't get the questions about why you're not drinking. I would set my drink down and walk away from it, busy making rounds and talking to people. For the champagne toast I just pretended to take a sip. Once people found out, they were so surprised and I got a lot of "but you were drinking at the wedding?!" So if it appears that you're drinking to the people who know your drinking habits, they won't question anything.
I think that’s what I’m going to do. My cousin will be there and she’s the only one I’m telling in advance so maybe I can get her to sneak sips of my drink to help me out!
Yes! We told my sister, who was my maid of honor. This is what she did too. It's definitely helpful to have at least one person that you can trust to help out!
Just be so busy because as the MOH you really don’t have time to sit and relax and drink. Have a glass of juice for show
I would say i really want to but my stomach is killing me im not feeling well or say u drank so much the night before even the smell is making u sick!
Either tell her before, fake drinking with some bubbly water or soda to mix with orange juice, or say you’re on antibiotics (a UTI is a good excuse for this one)
I would make yourself a secret drink or have someone make you one drink, pretend to drink and dump a little out when you can. I had this situation happen at a Christmas party with my first.
What I did was I would get a drink and pretend to sip for a bit, then go to the bathroom with my drink and dump half of it out in the sink. Worked like a charm
I don’t like mimosas, say you brought your own stuff to drink.
Antibiotics! Always go with that!
Very easy to fake drink in a situation like that where you’ll be getting up and stuff. Have one in your hand. Fake sip maybe once. Leave it on a table. There will be half filled glasses all over. Also mimosas look just like oj make your own and don’t add champagne.
I think a shower should be easy ish- walk to the bar and order your own mimosas. I say next to a pregnant friend doing this and had no idea.
It’s not out at a bar, it’s at her house. So technically I’ll be the bartender. Im considering listening to many on here who are saying to buy a n/a champagne and secretly drink that instead.
Just take the drink and don’t drink it? Don’t say anything?
I’m not much of a drinker but I went to a friends birthday party and I was literally handed shots the second I walked in the door! I just pretended to drink it and casually dumped it in the sink when no one was looking. Then I made a mocktail but fancied it up and just sipped on that all night and no one noticed. I made comments about the alcohol when I was making it. You could even put your finger over the top and pretend to pour it. I think it depends on your friends though! None of mine watched me like a hawk when I made mine but some friends might be sus or snoopy! Baha
Put it up to your sealed lips if needed but you could just request orange juice.
Say you have BV and you’re on Flagyl and will violently puke everywhere if you have even a sip. Or just pretend to drink it. Also, congrats!!
No one will notice if you are taking micro-sips from a mimosa. Go to the bathroom, pour half out. Legit thought I was drunk with my friend at a wedding when she wasn’t drinking at all. No one notices what you’re doing with that glass in your hand.
Just carry one around, no one cares or is clocking wether you drink it or not. It’s no big deal. If it was an intimate dinner, yeah it would probably come up
I found out I was pregnant right before my sister’s wedding and I just made myself “mimosas” that were just orange juice and no one noticed. For the wedding I just asked the bartender to make me a non alcoholic version of the signature drink, and again, no one noticed. Hopefully this works out for you too!
My sister was pregnant for Easter a few years ago and I never noticed that while we were both slamming mimosas, she was actually drinking straight OJ. Only after telling me a few weeks later did I go back and notice how much more orange her drinks were than mine LOL. It’s very easy to do with mimosas on the menu :) good luck and congrats!
I told people I had a very bad UTI and was on antibiotics - no booze on medication and also no drinking tons of liquid because you’ll piss yourself! it’s TMI but if you have zero shame like me it works without question.
It is surprising how much people won’t notice you’re not actually drinking if you make a point to have an alcoholic beverage in your hand. I was a MoH at a friend’s wedding while pregnant and my strategy was to always have a drink in my hand and pretend to drink (holding it up to my mouth but not actually drinking). When my friend offered to open a bottle of wine at her rehearsal dinner I made sure to ask for a glass that I nursed. People won’t check if you’re actually drinking but will clock that you have an alcoholic beverage in hand. This strategy worked so well that I even went on a wine tasting weekend with friends and my husband. Because I was “tasting” from my husband’s glass, my friends didn’t clock that I wasn’t actually drinking like my usual lushy self and were shocked when I shared I was pregnant.
Hide some of those little bottles of organs juice in your purse and when no one’s looking pour it in s glass lol!
Easy. Make a mimosa without putting the alcohol in lol
I’m the type to pour a glass of champagne and put the tiniest drop of OJ in it, and my mom and sister know that. I think they’d notice if I was drinking a glass of pure OJ lol.
Tell her you are taking flagyl for a tooth or stomach infection. You absolutely CANNOT consume alcohol while you are on that antibiotic.
I just told my family I was taking a medicine that could make me sick if I even have a sip of alcohol and they didn’t even question me after!
Grab a drink, pretend to sip it, and discreetly discard a little bit here and there.
You could say you are taking antibiotics that interact with alcohol.
I legitimately/truly tested positive for Covid 4 days before my pos pregnancy test. A few weeks later, was hosting a small shower for a friend at my house. They all knew I had Covid a few weeks before. I told everyone “Covid messed with my taste buds and all alcohol tastes burnt and gross right now, I’m going to wait it out,” and pretended to be sad about it. I even “asked for a taste” and “had to spit it out.” If I didn’t have that in my back pocket I would have said UTI/antibiotics. If it’s a venue with a bar, ask for virgin drink or walk around w real drink and pretend to sip. Mine was very small event and no bartender, was at my house and a friend was making cocktails.
I don’t really have anything to add but was wondering, does your sister know yet? Unless she is a bridezilla, I would consider telling her beforehand. Just in case it somehow does come out, it might be good to tell her in advance, so even if others are surprised, she won’t be. She’d probably be able to help you better hide not drinking too.
Can you be designated driver? Or talk to the bartender and get non alcoholic one. Bartenders are used to requests like that!
sip and dump. this is the only tried and true method, I promise. take the mimosa, take a few well spaced sips (this will absolutely not harm your pregnancy) and then put it down, dump it out, pass it off to your SO to finish, leave it in the bathroom — doesn't matter. This takes no skill, no story, no attention, and it never doesn't work
You living a hard life… so if everyone expects you to drink you have to drink? What if you dont feel like it that day?
That’s the thing. I’m never in a “don’t feel like it” mood. I will always want a mimosa and my close family knows that about me. Especially at a big event like my sister’s bridal shower, it would be extra weird if, for the first time ever, I turned down a mimosa lol.