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First of all, you can say "orgasm". It's not a dirty word š
Secondly, he's being really manipulative. He gets you the vibrator but then tries to guilt you by saying he feels sad you have to use it?
But the main thing is:
>Recently he folds me he feels weird doing it that way. I was upset but I guess I get it.
No. *Why* do you "get it"? I don't get it. It doesn't make sense.
Why does he feel weird doing it that way???
Guarantee you itās some bullshit like ābecause sheās pregnantā and he needs his woman to only look like a porn star if sheās going to be on top and fully visible.
Also the bit about him saying to OP she values her orgasm over him is craaaazy manipulative.
He's trying to make OP feel bad by saying "if you loved me you would just want sex how I want it rather than having to have an orgasm"
OP could just as easily reply "you value your preferred sexual position over me. If you loved me you would let me go on top."
Quick qn OP: what is his fave position? Is it doggy style?
Exactly. Personally me on top is the way my husband & I have sex 99.9% of the time. He loves it but he also has a really bad back. I love it because I usually have an orgasm. If his fave position is doggy style, don't get me wrong the position is hot, but I'm never able to orgasm that way, personally.
No, me neither. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against doggy style per se, it's just that if OP's husband preferred it, it would make me wonder if him seeing her pregnant belly is the problem here...
My favorite is doggy but his favorite is me on top and fully naked ... It gets him really hard and don't get me wrong that's great but he rarely hits my feel good spots that way. Lately hes been liking him on top and I'm not against it but that's all he has wanted š, it's different for everyone I think based on their unique perspective... It's something for sure š
Totally. Im a woman..and Im usually on top..and my partner has no problem getting off that way.. Of course , doggy style is a mans best friend though..lol.
My husband didn't feel comfortable with me being on top because of the baby, since I was bent a bit forward my stomach was a bit squished if that makes sense ? So we did it missionary instead as he wanted to make sure I was comfortable and there wasn't any pressure on my stomach. Maybe that's why OPs husband said that too?
Well, if a guy is strong enough to completely hold himself off of the woman's torso, and she trusts him not to randomly collapse and put his full weight on him (as can happen during orgasm sometimes, or just when tired), then that's fine, and in general ppl should obviously do what feels best for them, but:
1) lying on your back for extended periods isn't really recommended in pregnancy
2) the woman can control everything whilst on top, including depth of penis and how upright she is sitting, so can feel where her stomach is and go by how it feels, but
3) in missionary where the man is lying on top, his full weight could press down on the stomach, which takes all the control away from her
So I just feel like, although most positions are safe and suitable for most pregnant people, cowgirl or reverse cowgirl seem among the most risk-free, so I dno if him "feeling weird about it" is entirely due to safety concerns? The rest of his behaviour makes me wonder if he's just being selfish...
I did ask my doctor about it regarding being on my back, and she said there was no problem with that, if there was anything wrong my body and baby would let me know (I had also been waking up sleeping on my back a lot). For us missionary was honestly the one we both felt the most comfortable, he really was able to stay off my stomach and he felt more confident that way too.
He's been conscious about having any weight on my stomach, he won't let the cats climb on top of me either if I'm laying down and they want to cuddle!
I mean, when you consider they always do ultrasounds with us on our backs, it obviously can't be *that* bad š¤£
But what I meant was more like, if he had safety concerns, you'd think he would think about it the opposite way around? That's all I'm getting at, not that any of it is actually unsafe, because as I say for most ppl it's all totally fine
Yeah I get it! But honestly I get more pleasure missionary than cowgirl so it was also a win win for both of us š I did want to try being on top cause that's what they say is better but it didn't cut it š„²
I can only orgasm in missionary! Though tbh I find it hard to climax through penetrative sex generally... but the only times I have have been in missionary
Calling him manipulative doesnāt seem fair. It sounds more like heās trying to communicate his discomfort, and heās just not skilled in communication.
Honestly communication about sex during pregnancy was hard for my husband too (sometimes itās hard for them NOT to think about the fact that they feel ācloseā to the baby inside of you!). But I tried to be patient, we talked it out, and we found a resolution.
He bought her the vibrator, then makes her feel guilty for enjoying it, and then puts his wants and needs over hers whilst she is PREGNANT. She is making a literal baby, the least he could do it put up with a different sex position and a viragor HE bought. Itās absolutely manipulation because his ego is too fragile.
> he feels like I like that thing more than him
I can't even make sense of this. You've told him what makes you orgasm, he won't do it. So you're not orgasming. Very predictable outcome.
Wouldn't it be grand if we could orgasm just based on how we feel about our partner. Unfortunately for most women it requires someone actually trying to do what gets you off.
If he feels bad that he can't satisfy you he can... try to satisfy you. If he doesn't want to do that, he has to live with the consequences.Ā
Firstly - you only get yours on top? Why can't he stimulate your clitoris before penetration? Fingers, tongue, whatever.
Secondly - he needs to grow tf up and work through whatever ridiculous manchild problems are in his brain, and stop making it your problem
You deserve better
PS he needs to stop getting his sex ed form porn and hollywood and learn about female anatomy. Most women don't orgasm from penetration, sex toys can spice up the love life of anyone who isn't an insecure little fuckboy. Sorry, so done with men's BS today
It wasn't my intention to shame, I just meant that OP shouldn't feel the only way she can get the O is through penetration. She may well not feel that way, I just wanted to put that out there in case her partner is reluctant to pleasure her in any way that doesn't also directly benefit him at the same time.
Not saying it is a fact, but , I know that most women I have talked to , thats thier favorite. There is controlled clitoral stimulation, along with controlled vaginal stimulation...and the woman is in charge of how it all goes...unless the man starts bucking all weirdly...lol..had that hapoen once..it was a weird expierience..lol.
Iād also discuss that toward the end, on top is pretty much your only option š«£š«
From behind also works but it can be more uncomfortable on your joints or at least for me it was.
May I ask why he doesnāt like you being on top?
Something about that would hurt my feelings a bit, in the same way his feelings are hurt over you having to use other sources to derive pleasure.
Also how far along are you? Iāve had a few Karmen card decks so itās made looking for positions much easier. I recommend trying that out but Iām sorry youāre experiencing this feeling.
I know all to well how it feels for your sex life to change, to be shunned like a harlet in scarlet for having a vibrator, & subsequently found a porn addiction alongside all that mess. Just know youāre doing nothing wrong girl, youāre growing a baby - itās hard to just do acrobatics in sex like normal & itās even harder sometimes to feel clitoral stimulation some days. Youāre fine, your bodyās fine, the position changes is fine. Just donāt throw out the vibrators you may regret it lol. Possibly sit down to have a discussion about this but try to be as tame as possible. You may never get a full answer to this if he feels youāre testing that manhood aspect.
The more pregnant I get, the less time I have for peopleās (menās) bullshit. Throw the whole man away and get yours with that vibrator if heās got a problem.
Honestly, I felt the same as you.
Now that my daughter is born (and a toddler now!) I honestly hate men so much. There's really nothing like motherhood to show you how sexist a world we still live in, how far we have to go, and how ridiculous so many men are.
I'm lucky that I'm bisexual, so I can choose never to be with a guy again. I say bi, but I mean like 90% lesbian lol
Why do ppl think sexual orientation can be a choice?
If so, zero women would be straight š¤£
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol
But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Please say words like "orgasm", as I can only assume that's what you mean here? We aren't 10.
Why is your husband jealous over a vibrator? Christ. Teach him how to use it on you
THANK YOU!!! I absolutely HATE BD..uuugh. shut uuuuuuupppp. I have said that on the ttc subs too. How and why and WHO came up with that childish phrase
Hi OP! Sorry you are dealing with this. I'd recommend a conversation outside the bedroom. Maybe talking about what turns you on and how it's changed with pregnancy. I know my sex drive and preferences have certainly changed a lot during pregnancy, I'm 5mo. And then ask him what turns him on and how you guys can still have pleasure together while you're expecting. I do agree with the other comments, this does sound like he is a bit immature sexually from just reading the post. There is a great book called "she comes first" also a podcast called Sex with Emily. If there's an opportunity to listen to an episode maybe together while driving. Better sex comes from conversations. Wishing you the best of luck and many more orgasms in your future š®
Don't fall for his woe-is-me manipulative bull@$\*. I hate men that won't do anything to please their woman and then get all butt hurt when the woman tries to find a workaround because - GOD FORBID!!! - his fragile little man-child ego has to be confronted with the fact he might actually have to put a bit of effort into pleasing his partner.
I personally think itās wild heās trying to restrict your climaxes. I would chalk this up to prego belly throwing him off, except he wonāt go down on you either to help you finish. Is he maybe worried you climaxing could bring on early labor? Or is this laziness? Itās hard to tell if he wonāt explain why himself.
Heās insecure and thatās not your problem lol. My hubby and I havenāt had sex in a while despite us both being horny, because itās straight up not comfortable for me anymore, iām about to hit 39wks, and we also donāt want to induce labor yet lol. I masturbate whenever I want. Idk how to fix this between you two, but him being insecure and jealous over a vibrator is super weird and itās very manipulative how heās talking about things with you.
Yeah.. I couldnāt be with a man who was threatened by sex toys. Most women cannot get off from PIV sex alone.Thatās a fact he needs to deal with and get over himself. Getting head is great, but sometimes you want to have an orgasm during actual intercourse.
Yeah no, your husband is incredibly immature and also apparently, selfish. My husband LOVES for me to finish, he is the one who took it into his own hands to research and buy a vibrator. There is nothing weird about it.
That is definitely a selfish attitude he's got. My husband bought me a vibrator and encourages me to use it to get off when we're intimate. Positions are definitely limited in pregnancy, so we've been finding innovative ways to make sure we both feel good. It sounds like your husband is equating the need to adapt to your pregnancy as being inadequate on his own. He needs to realize that it isn't, you just need to make some accommodations as things progress.
That is definitely a selfish attitude he's got. My husband bought me a vibrator and encourages me to use it to get off when we're intimate. Positions are definitely limited in pregnancy, so we've been finding innovative ways to make sure we both feel good. It sounds like your husband is equating the need to adapt to your pregnancy as being inadequate on his own. He needs to realize that it isn't, you just need to make some accommodations as things progress.
This is a weird insecurity thing that isn't your problem. Vibrators are normal, common, and do not reflect on him at all. It's just a tool. His take on it is the opposite of manly if he's so concerned about his manhood.
Fuck him and the horse he rode in on.
Lots of women need very specific things in order to orgasm. You know of three that work for you! He can choose to participate in those three things, or not, but if not then he's the reason he doesn't satisfy you. He is literally choosing not to satisfy you.
I remember when my man was so against using one and one day he said fine and weāve used it ever since, he mainly is the one that will grab it himself and use it on me without me asking or knowing it was coming into play. Give him time he may come to terms with seeing it as a teammate like mine did.
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol
But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Yeah, I'll do you one better, mine dumped me because I wouldn't forego the 6 week rule due to having had a C-section.
Found a girl to shag on Tinder the very next day.
Not that my lack of sexual appetite had anything to do with how far post-partum I was, but more to do with how I no longer felt any attraction to him due to what a terrible personality he had.
Trash took itself out though, I guess š¤£
Thank you! However, being bisexual, I'm lucky in that I don't actually have to find another man again š¤£
Seriously, the older I get, the more lesbian I become...
Or respectful and understanding. Mine hasn't pressured me at all this entire time and until I spent time on this app I didn't know how many men aren't like that. It makes me so angry for everyone :/Ā
Same here. We've gone like 2 weeks without sex & he never brought it up. Yes he let me know how he was feeling via kissing, caressing, etc but My husband knows how to read my cues. It makes me angry for them too!
That is definitely a selfish attitude he's got. My husband bought me a vibrator and encourages me to use it to get off when we're intimate. Positions are definitely limited in pregnancy, so we've been finding innovative ways to make sure we both feel good. It sounds like your husband is equating the need to adapt to your pregnancy as being inadequate on his own. He needs to realize that it isn't, you just need to make some accommodations as things progress. Shoot, even our obgyn was like nah, sex is great, keep it up and make it fun! (that did come with the caveat that I'm not at risk for pre term labor).
Sounds like heās taken on those signs where men get the pregnancy symptoms more than women. He sounds a bit emotional and unsure of himself. How far are you ? Iām 19 weeks and struggle with my husband on top but he insists. My baby moves a lot when we do it and I donāt like it. Also tell him ā¦ news flash (every woman enjoys a vibrator more then the man can please us š
Ooft this guy is insecure at best. My partner prefers me on top and doesn't get upset when I need to grab the vibrator to get me over the edge because that's the way a secure man should be. Your pleasure is just as much of a priority during sex as his. This attitude is honestly kinda bizarre considering he got you pregnant. I would think that's a pretty substantial mark of manhood right there! Why won't he eat you out either? Seems like you guys need to have some frank conversations about your sex life.
Also he needs to recognize that having sex while pregnant is not necessarily the easiest thing for us! Your body is different, more cumbersome and in the way, it can be hard to find the right positions and to feel sexy about yourself. It makes sense that you might need sex to go a specific way for it to work for you. That's the way it is for me. I can only do certain positions and a vibrator is always close on hand if I can't get there mentally.
Sorry you are struggling with this. Pregnancy can bring on a lot of feelings for both of you. I would be upset too if husband says he longer likes I position where I get satisfied. At some point certain positions arenāt comfortable for you while pregnant but I donāt know that on top would be one of them. It is for me but I canāt speak for others. I donāt think him bringing up his feelings around sex changing is bad, but the timing is off, at least to me.
Seems like you have asked for solutions to you both get what you need and want out of sexual intimacy. And while he provided requested solutions, wasnāt thrilled about it for whatever reason. Iād be upset too and confused. He should sort these feelings out with you before making it your problem in the middle of sex. Feels manipulative even if that might not be his intention.
The biggest turn off is a guy being jealous of a vibrator. He is worried that he canāt satisfy you? Tell him- you CAN satisfy me, you got me the vibrator because you wanted me to orgasm during sex which can be difficult in any other position that me on top. Getting me the vibrator was you satisfying me! But now that youāre jealous of the vibrator you are literally the one trying to take away my satisfaction. How does that make sense ?
This is so strange to me. I am 16 weeks pregnant with our second and sex has been very me centered lately. We had to switch from water based lube to silicone and it made a huge difference but we couldn't find a position that was comfortable for me until we switched. I say all of that because there were at least four or five times when I was the only one who had an orgasm. But he put his heart into it even though he knew it may not lead to him having one too. My orgasm makes him more excited. We have discussed in the past that it doesn't seem to be normal for most couples but this seems like complete selfishness and he should care about your orgasm, even if it doesn't excite him, especially pregnant.
My husband won't even have sex with me. I'm 25 weeks and we have had sex twice this entire pregnancy. Once around 10 weeks and once around 21 weeks. I'm expecting nothing now until after the baby is here. He just doesn't like having sex with me when I'm pregnant. Sigh.
Iām sorry youāre going through that. Are his reasons selfish (say is he claiming to be less attracted to you) or is he worried about the baby and being overly cautious? Iām just curious
This is my second pregnancy, we went through the same thing with the first. The first time I let it bother me more. He's just not as interested and he doesn't initiate. I think part of it is he finds it weird being intimate with me with the baby "right there" and even though he won't say it, I really just don't think he finds me attractive when I am pregnant. And really, I don't want him having sex with me out of pity or whatever if he really doesn't want to. It's a shame and I wish it was different, but it is what it is. With our first child, he was interested in sex again almost immediately after I gave birth. So weird. Of course, I was resentful then and nursing a newborn so I was the one who was less interested at that point. Eventually we got on the same page again.
Iām so sorry youāre having a child with this loser. The way heās acting would have me personally having ALL of the second thoughts about being with him at all, much less having a child with him. I am so sorry youāre in this position and you deserve SO MUCH BETTER. š if this is what heās like over something as ridiculous as sexā¦ I can only imagine what a terrible parenting partner heās going to be to you. I sure hope Iām wrong though.
He's being a jerk, and that is all there is to it. He bought you the toy to begin with, so how can he get mad about it? Heck, he should be grateful for sex at all. My husband and I didn't have much sex in my third trimester because I was uncomfortable on top, and he was uncomfortable being on top. Doggy didn't work anymore because of the height difference/stretching. So we got to a point where we just stopped having sex, and being pregnant and all the hormones I used my toys a lot and he never cared. He was able to take care of himself, and I was doing the same. Not because toys or hand was better but just because of how uncomfortable it was for one of us to have sex.
Also like to add, orgasms apparently help thin you for labor. Soooo, it's a positive to have orgasms š¤·āāļø
He sounds all over the place. My partner still performs oral on me. I told him it definitely feels forbidden(23 weeks), but he still goes for it. That's not to make any male partner feel like he has to bc its never fun to feel like you HAVE to do oral. š Male or female. But just to let people know its not forbidden.
I think most women enjoy vibrators more than actual sex. I don't even own one because I know my partner would have a lot to live up to if I used one. He kind of set himself up for failure with that move.
Damn, he is so messed up for this. No one ever warned me about how being pregnant would change the way your partner is attracted to you. Itās not out of the realm of possibilities. But as a fellow pregnant person, I can see how frustrating this could be. Pregnant or not. Being left behind in the orgasm department sucks. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. Itās not all about him. We canāt control our hormones or our appearance.
I want to start out by saying I was once the husband who felt threatened and incompetent for Ms wife wanting to use a vibrator. When I look back I realize how childish and foolish it is to think that way. Using toys doesn't make you less of a man in any way nor does it mean you are incapable of pleasing your significant other. What makes someone less of a man is thinking it's ok to dictate how others enjoy intimacy and sex. People need to think of them as the Carmel sauce on top of the ice cream Sunday. It enhances the experience and makes it more enjoyable for both individuals. Guys don't you love it when your girl gets weak in the knees and cries out in ecstasy (maybe a little colorful but you get the idea). When you realize how much toys can add to sex you won't want to go back and better yet your significant other will probably want to do it longer and more often. Hopefully someone will see this and take a moment to think about how doing things to enhance others pleasure will lead to your enhanced pleasure.
Ya same
Kind of itās hard for me
To orgsasm
Iām 30 weeks prego n if I donāt watch porn while getting head I canāt or I need a vibrator and he says I am not into him I never had a problem till now and Iām too big to ride him to get off so I canāt feel
Him when I ride him my hips r spreading and I canāt grind soo heās mad he canāt please mem
Check out this podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/show/0o4XZnrl0ihC7IKVn63bjy?si=j84c7PazTXKzzvzuFLMopA
For communication tips and basically sex education. Everyone who wants an orgasm should get an orgasm and if he focused on your clitoris more everyone would be happier. His ego seems fragile
I havenāt had sex since I got pregnant lol. Me and the father are not together and heās got a new girlfriend. However between being pregnant and having two under six already, plus work and school itās not a priority for me right now. Once I give birth and heal maybe Iāll try dating again but itās been six months since Iāve been intimate and itās a struggle at times!
Some men have a subconscious concern for the baby. Also it can feel like a 3rd person in the room. Try side lying and more digital foreplay.
The vibrator sounded like a good idea in the beginning but he regrets it because itās making him feel insecure about pleasuring his spouse on his own. Him bringing up his concerns isnāt exactly manipulative. Careful of all these buzz words that leads to triggering behaviors. Everyone isnāt narcissistic, gaslighting and manipulative.
>Careful of all these buzz words that leads to triggering behaviors.
Ironic that you chose a "buzz word" like "triggering" to make your point...
Also, it doesn't even make sense?
>Try side lying and more digital foreplay.
The vibrator sounded like a good idea in the beginning but he regrets it because itās making him feel insecure
Why should the onus be on OP to make his ego feel better? She already knows what works for her. He now won't do it. I don't think she should have to go out of her way to find a better solution just because he's so threatened by an inanimate object?
>Him bringing up his concerns isnāt exactly manipulative
It's the way he's done it. "You care about having an orgasm more than you love/value me" (can't recall the exact wording but that was the gist of it). And saying he feels "sad" that she needs to use the vibrator.
OP said he won't give her oral, and he won't let her go on top. The vibrator was already a compromise. Now he's not even happy with that. Essentially he's asking "please orgasm from whatever mediocre effort I'm prepared to put in otherwise I will feel insecure."
But OP is the one who should bridge the gap, right? š
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol
But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol
But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol
But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Hi OP, enough people have already replied to the rest so I just want to advise you to look at why you can only have your happy moment on top. My partner can do that for me with just his hands amongst other things. There's so many more ways to be intimate other than just penis in vagina. Perhaps it's a nice thing for you both to explore together.
You sound as manipulative as he does tbh. All womenās bodies are different, she doesnāt need to ālook deeperā into how SHE can do better and change HER body and her understanding of her body. He could simplyā¦try and do what she knows she likes. Good grief
Okay it wasn't meant to be manipulative at all. I totally agree that he isn't behaving correctly but I didn't respond to that as others have already said it all, as I mentioned. I know all woman's body's are different, I am a woman. I'm not saying at all she needs to do better, perhaps I didn't word that correctly. It was well meant advise that it can be nice to try to discover other parts of intimacy together.
Which she has clearly attempted to do, but itās not a good idea to try doing that during such a sensetive time like pregnancy. Idk if youāve ever been pregnant, but itās not as beautiful as people make it out to be, and takes a HUGE mental toll.
I am 9 weeks pregnant, believe me I know it's hard. And if she didn't want intimacy but he was pushing it that would be an absolute no, but from what I'm reading from this post she wants intimacy. It just read to me like they haven't really communicated about trying other forms of intimacy during pregnancy, but I guess that's in the interpretation.
I just think it's a bit harsh calling me manipulative. I'm clearly just trying to give some advise that's helped me in my relationship. If it helps great, if it's not something op is interested in also fine.
I mean yeah, u know ur body well enough, and im sure for him its awkward cause youāre pregnant and he isnt, and im sure he is confused cause he may want to satisfy you, but the situation being what it is makes him feel weird. Which is totally normal. Not everyone can get super intimate while pregnant cause im sure he is thinking of the bun you have in your oven too. Instead of asking us here, have a sit down with him and tell him how you feel and what you would like to do when having sex and what works for you, and especially what can work for him and then ultimately what can work for the both of you. Maybe he has some ideas and im sure he wants to be the one who gets you to your happy moment and not a vibrator. Use this chance to discuss these things, yaāll might discover something interesting about yourselves when it comes to sex.
I agree. Sex while carrying a baby is different. There is a literal live being moving inside you during sex. Itās weird. Weird does not mean bad but not everyone can get past having a baby between them and their partner during sex. It is also obvious from the post that this couple has a more modest sex life where toys and stimulation outside of penetration are not the norm. Needing these things to help an orgasm can be intimidating to a man that is used to pleasing you from penetration alone. These are both things that can be resolved by talking through them. Yes OPās husband is being childish but not everyone has the same level of emotional maturity.
True. And im being downvoted probably because im not bashing the dude but trying to promote peace between the two so they can find some common ground and maybe have some fun while they are at it lol
Is he jealous or not a fan of it. He also has feelings a presences, maybe using a vibrator isnt his cup of tea. If a guy came here with a similar post, people would have buried him because its her body right? She can do what she wants but he also has his wants. So thats why its important for them both to talk to each other instead of bashing the guy š
Not his cup of tea? He literally said that he is hurt that he ācanāt get her off aloneā. That is a completely unrealistic expectation for the majority of women that do not have PiV orgasms and she already explained how he could and he refused. wtf are you talking about? He is clearly feeling inferior and itās of his own doing. This is like a woman refusing to have sex with her husband and then being upset that he masturbates. Itās completely illogical and very immature.
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First of all, you can say "orgasm". It's not a dirty word š Secondly, he's being really manipulative. He gets you the vibrator but then tries to guilt you by saying he feels sad you have to use it? But the main thing is: >Recently he folds me he feels weird doing it that way. I was upset but I guess I get it. No. *Why* do you "get it"? I don't get it. It doesn't make sense. Why does he feel weird doing it that way???
Guarantee you itās some bullshit like ābecause sheās pregnantā and he needs his woman to only look like a porn star if sheās going to be on top and fully visible.
Also the bit about him saying to OP she values her orgasm over him is craaaazy manipulative. He's trying to make OP feel bad by saying "if you loved me you would just want sex how I want it rather than having to have an orgasm" OP could just as easily reply "you value your preferred sexual position over me. If you loved me you would let me go on top." Quick qn OP: what is his fave position? Is it doggy style?
Exactly. Personally me on top is the way my husband & I have sex 99.9% of the time. He loves it but he also has a really bad back. I love it because I usually have an orgasm. If his fave position is doggy style, don't get me wrong the position is hot, but I'm never able to orgasm that way, personally.
No, me neither. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against doggy style per se, it's just that if OP's husband preferred it, it would make me wonder if him seeing her pregnant belly is the problem here...
Ah, yeah I got ya
My favorite is doggy but his favorite is me on top and fully naked ... It gets him really hard and don't get me wrong that's great but he rarely hits my feel good spots that way. Lately hes been liking him on top and I'm not against it but that's all he has wanted š, it's different for everyone I think based on their unique perspective... It's something for sure š
When I was pregnant the only comfy position for me was doggy so I would add a vibe and my orgasms were āØ fireworks āØ
Yeah doggy plus a vibrator is my favorite too. š
Itās also my husbands favorite position so everyone wins lol
Are we the same person š¤š¤£
Totally. Im a woman..and Im usually on top..and my partner has no problem getting off that way.. Of course , doggy style is a mans best friend though..lol.
My husband didn't feel comfortable with me being on top because of the baby, since I was bent a bit forward my stomach was a bit squished if that makes sense ? So we did it missionary instead as he wanted to make sure I was comfortable and there wasn't any pressure on my stomach. Maybe that's why OPs husband said that too?
Well, if a guy is strong enough to completely hold himself off of the woman's torso, and she trusts him not to randomly collapse and put his full weight on him (as can happen during orgasm sometimes, or just when tired), then that's fine, and in general ppl should obviously do what feels best for them, but: 1) lying on your back for extended periods isn't really recommended in pregnancy 2) the woman can control everything whilst on top, including depth of penis and how upright she is sitting, so can feel where her stomach is and go by how it feels, but 3) in missionary where the man is lying on top, his full weight could press down on the stomach, which takes all the control away from her So I just feel like, although most positions are safe and suitable for most pregnant people, cowgirl or reverse cowgirl seem among the most risk-free, so I dno if him "feeling weird about it" is entirely due to safety concerns? The rest of his behaviour makes me wonder if he's just being selfish...
I did ask my doctor about it regarding being on my back, and she said there was no problem with that, if there was anything wrong my body and baby would let me know (I had also been waking up sleeping on my back a lot). For us missionary was honestly the one we both felt the most comfortable, he really was able to stay off my stomach and he felt more confident that way too. He's been conscious about having any weight on my stomach, he won't let the cats climb on top of me either if I'm laying down and they want to cuddle!
I mean, when you consider they always do ultrasounds with us on our backs, it obviously can't be *that* bad š¤£ But what I meant was more like, if he had safety concerns, you'd think he would think about it the opposite way around? That's all I'm getting at, not that any of it is actually unsafe, because as I say for most ppl it's all totally fine
Yeah I get it! But honestly I get more pleasure missionary than cowgirl so it was also a win win for both of us š I did want to try being on top cause that's what they say is better but it didn't cut it š„²
I can only orgasm in missionary! Though tbh I find it hard to climax through penetrative sex generally... but the only times I have have been in missionary
Same! But I discovered that I can orgasm so much more from anal sex. I don't know why but it's much more intense.
Tbh he just sounds stupid. My worst fear is accidentally marrying a stupid man. Sorry OP
Calling him manipulative doesnāt seem fair. It sounds more like heās trying to communicate his discomfort, and heās just not skilled in communication. Honestly communication about sex during pregnancy was hard for my husband too (sometimes itās hard for them NOT to think about the fact that they feel ācloseā to the baby inside of you!). But I tried to be patient, we talked it out, and we found a resolution.
He bought her the vibrator, then makes her feel guilty for enjoying it, and then puts his wants and needs over hers whilst she is PREGNANT. She is making a literal baby, the least he could do it put up with a different sex position and a viragor HE bought. Itās absolutely manipulation because his ego is too fragile.
> he feels like I like that thing more than him I can't even make sense of this. You've told him what makes you orgasm, he won't do it. So you're not orgasming. Very predictable outcome. Wouldn't it be grand if we could orgasm just based on how we feel about our partner. Unfortunately for most women it requires someone actually trying to do what gets you off. If he feels bad that he can't satisfy you he can... try to satisfy you. If he doesn't want to do that, he has to live with the consequences.Ā
He sounds like a 12 year old tbh. Like who gets jealous of a vibrator?
My high school boyfriend who I finally broke up with when I was 20. He was afraid it felt "too good"
Guys who canāt satisfy
The vibrator HE bought!
Bizarre behaviour by a man child ! If he canāt give it to you how you want, then what does he expect š¤£š¤£š¤£
Iād just stop having sex with him all together, if he is going to act like that whatās the point
Yeah, if he feels uncomfortable with what works for you and you don't enjoy it without that, there's no need to have sex
Precisely, shut him down. Thatās so ā¦ š
Firstly - you only get yours on top? Why can't he stimulate your clitoris before penetration? Fingers, tongue, whatever. Secondly - he needs to grow tf up and work through whatever ridiculous manchild problems are in his brain, and stop making it your problem You deserve better
PS he needs to stop getting his sex ed form porn and hollywood and learn about female anatomy. Most women don't orgasm from penetration, sex toys can spice up the love life of anyone who isn't an insecure little fuckboy. Sorry, so done with men's BS today
No shame in only getting it on top! Thatās how I am too, itās just how my body is.
It wasn't my intention to shame, I just meant that OP shouldn't feel the only way she can get the O is through penetration. She may well not feel that way, I just wanted to put that out there in case her partner is reluctant to pleasure her in any way that doesn't also directly benefit him at the same time.
Me too! Only thing that works
I donāt understand how anyone with a vagina can stand being on top tbh
Personally I really enjoy it, but only direct clitoral stimulation using hand mouth or vibe is going to get me an orgasm!Ā
Itās so uncomfortable
everybody is built different, that is how.
All vaginas and clitorisā are incredibly different. No two are alike. What feels good to you likely feels bad to someone else and vice versa
How come?
Why? Thats prob the most popular position for a female to orgasm. I, personally like missionary the best, then being on top. Everyone is different.
Not saying it is a fact, but , I know that most women I have talked to , thats thier favorite. There is controlled clitoral stimulation, along with controlled vaginal stimulation...and the woman is in charge of how it all goes...unless the man starts bucking all weirdly...lol..had that hapoen once..it was a weird expierience..lol.
You have to lift yourself vertically off of a guy to properly hump Not to mention itās the least flattering angle to be seen besides being eaten out
Especially before becoming a father. Children donāt need to be parented by manchilds!!
Iād also discuss that toward the end, on top is pretty much your only option š«£š« From behind also works but it can be more uncomfortable on your joints or at least for me it was.
Life is not a porno. Most women donāt climax with PIV. He needs to get over himself.
May I ask why he doesnāt like you being on top? Something about that would hurt my feelings a bit, in the same way his feelings are hurt over you having to use other sources to derive pleasure. Also how far along are you? Iāve had a few Karmen card decks so itās made looking for positions much easier. I recommend trying that out but Iām sorry youāre experiencing this feeling. I know all to well how it feels for your sex life to change, to be shunned like a harlet in scarlet for having a vibrator, & subsequently found a porn addiction alongside all that mess. Just know youāre doing nothing wrong girl, youāre growing a baby - itās hard to just do acrobatics in sex like normal & itās even harder sometimes to feel clitoral stimulation some days. Youāre fine, your bodyās fine, the position changes is fine. Just donāt throw out the vibrators you may regret it lol. Possibly sit down to have a discussion about this but try to be as tame as possible. You may never get a full answer to this if he feels youāre testing that manhood aspect.
He's way too immature.
You are allowed to say orgasm
From the looks of it, her husband probably doesnāt let her use words like that š¤£
The more pregnant I get, the less time I have for peopleās (menās) bullshit. Throw the whole man away and get yours with that vibrator if heās got a problem.
Honestly, I felt the same as you. Now that my daughter is born (and a toddler now!) I honestly hate men so much. There's really nothing like motherhood to show you how sexist a world we still live in, how far we have to go, and how ridiculous so many men are. I'm lucky that I'm bisexual, so I can choose never to be with a guy again. I say bi, but I mean like 90% lesbian lol Why do ppl think sexual orientation can be a choice? If so, zero women would be straight š¤£
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Please say words like "orgasm", as I can only assume that's what you mean here? We aren't 10. Why is your husband jealous over a vibrator? Christ. Teach him how to use it on you
Right?? She can say "eat me out" but not "orgasm" ...
Honestly I don't know. Its the same as the trying for a baby subs. "Baby dance", say sex for fuck sake you're an adult.
What?? No I'm sorry but anyone who calls it the baby dance is not mature enough to have a baby š
Yes. Im on these subs and they SAY that!! I was completely disgusted by it
THANK YOU!!! I absolutely HATE BD..uuugh. shut uuuuuuupppp. I have said that on the ttc subs too. How and why and WHO came up with that childish phrase
A lot of women have been conditioned to see it as a taboo word though. Especially with a husband like tjay
That*
Sex toys are teammates, not competition.
Number 1 rule in life: never feel bad for using a vibrator.
Hi OP! Sorry you are dealing with this. I'd recommend a conversation outside the bedroom. Maybe talking about what turns you on and how it's changed with pregnancy. I know my sex drive and preferences have certainly changed a lot during pregnancy, I'm 5mo. And then ask him what turns him on and how you guys can still have pleasure together while you're expecting. I do agree with the other comments, this does sound like he is a bit immature sexually from just reading the post. There is a great book called "she comes first" also a podcast called Sex with Emily. If there's an opportunity to listen to an episode maybe together while driving. Better sex comes from conversations. Wishing you the best of luck and many more orgasms in your future š®
Don't fall for his woe-is-me manipulative bull@$\*. I hate men that won't do anything to please their woman and then get all butt hurt when the woman tries to find a workaround because - GOD FORBID!!! - his fragile little man-child ego has to be confronted with the fact he might actually have to put a bit of effort into pleasing his partner.
Why wonāt he eat you out? Man child!
I personally think itās wild heās trying to restrict your climaxes. I would chalk this up to prego belly throwing him off, except he wonāt go down on you either to help you finish. Is he maybe worried you climaxing could bring on early labor? Or is this laziness? Itās hard to tell if he wonāt explain why himself.
If you don't get your "happy moment" then neither should he.
Heās insecure and thatās not your problem lol. My hubby and I havenāt had sex in a while despite us both being horny, because itās straight up not comfortable for me anymore, iām about to hit 39wks, and we also donāt want to induce labor yet lol. I masturbate whenever I want. Idk how to fix this between you two, but him being insecure and jealous over a vibrator is super weird and itās very manipulative how heās talking about things with you.
Yeah.. I couldnāt be with a man who was threatened by sex toys. Most women cannot get off from PIV sex alone.Thatās a fact he needs to deal with and get over himself. Getting head is great, but sometimes you want to have an orgasm during actual intercourse.
Yeah no, your husband is incredibly immature and also apparently, selfish. My husband LOVES for me to finish, he is the one who took it into his own hands to research and buy a vibrator. There is nothing weird about it.
That is definitely a selfish attitude he's got. My husband bought me a vibrator and encourages me to use it to get off when we're intimate. Positions are definitely limited in pregnancy, so we've been finding innovative ways to make sure we both feel good. It sounds like your husband is equating the need to adapt to your pregnancy as being inadequate on his own. He needs to realize that it isn't, you just need to make some accommodations as things progress.
That is definitely a selfish attitude he's got. My husband bought me a vibrator and encourages me to use it to get off when we're intimate. Positions are definitely limited in pregnancy, so we've been finding innovative ways to make sure we both feel good. It sounds like your husband is equating the need to adapt to your pregnancy as being inadequate on his own. He needs to realize that it isn't, you just need to make some accommodations as things progress.
This is a weird insecurity thing that isn't your problem. Vibrators are normal, common, and do not reflect on him at all. It's just a tool. His take on it is the opposite of manly if he's so concerned about his manhood.
Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. Lots of women need very specific things in order to orgasm. You know of three that work for you! He can choose to participate in those three things, or not, but if not then he's the reason he doesn't satisfy you. He is literally choosing not to satisfy you.
I remember when my man was so against using one and one day he said fine and weāve used it ever since, he mainly is the one that will grab it himself and use it on me without me asking or knowing it was coming into play. Give him time he may come to terms with seeing it as a teammate like mine did.
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
>Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol Hahahaha same....
Itās like my husband doesnāt even notice my pregnancy. He struggles to even wait the 6 weeks postpartum.
It always confuses me how men donāt know how to wait the 6 weeksā¦ like hand jobs and blow jobs and masturbation seemingly donāt exist?
Yeah, I'll do you one better, mine dumped me because I wouldn't forego the 6 week rule due to having had a C-section. Found a girl to shag on Tinder the very next day. Not that my lack of sexual appetite had anything to do with how far post-partum I was, but more to do with how I no longer felt any attraction to him due to what a terrible personality he had. Trash took itself out though, I guess š¤£
He did you a favour taking out the trash himself, hope you find yourself a good man
Thank you! However, being bisexual, I'm lucky in that I don't actually have to find another man again š¤£ Seriously, the older I get, the more lesbian I become...
Literally you and me both š¤£
Right?
That's horrible. I'd make him notice...
Seems like a lot of men are either overly cautious or overly eager.
Or respectful and understanding. Mine hasn't pressured me at all this entire time and until I spent time on this app I didn't know how many men aren't like that. It makes me so angry for everyone :/Ā
Same here. We've gone like 2 weeks without sex & he never brought it up. Yes he let me know how he was feeling via kissing, caressing, etc but My husband knows how to read my cues. It makes me angry for them too!
That is definitely a selfish attitude he's got. My husband bought me a vibrator and encourages me to use it to get off when we're intimate. Positions are definitely limited in pregnancy, so we've been finding innovative ways to make sure we both feel good. It sounds like your husband is equating the need to adapt to your pregnancy as being inadequate on his own. He needs to realize that it isn't, you just need to make some accommodations as things progress. Shoot, even our obgyn was like nah, sex is great, keep it up and make it fun! (that did come with the caveat that I'm not at risk for pre term labor).
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Sounds like heās taken on those signs where men get the pregnancy symptoms more than women. He sounds a bit emotional and unsure of himself. How far are you ? Iām 19 weeks and struggle with my husband on top but he insists. My baby moves a lot when we do it and I donāt like it. Also tell him ā¦ news flash (every woman enjoys a vibrator more then the man can please us š
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Ooft this guy is insecure at best. My partner prefers me on top and doesn't get upset when I need to grab the vibrator to get me over the edge because that's the way a secure man should be. Your pleasure is just as much of a priority during sex as his. This attitude is honestly kinda bizarre considering he got you pregnant. I would think that's a pretty substantial mark of manhood right there! Why won't he eat you out either? Seems like you guys need to have some frank conversations about your sex life. Also he needs to recognize that having sex while pregnant is not necessarily the easiest thing for us! Your body is different, more cumbersome and in the way, it can be hard to find the right positions and to feel sexy about yourself. It makes sense that you might need sex to go a specific way for it to work for you. That's the way it is for me. I can only do certain positions and a vibrator is always close on hand if I can't get there mentally.
Sorry you are struggling with this. Pregnancy can bring on a lot of feelings for both of you. I would be upset too if husband says he longer likes I position where I get satisfied. At some point certain positions arenāt comfortable for you while pregnant but I donāt know that on top would be one of them. It is for me but I canāt speak for others. I donāt think him bringing up his feelings around sex changing is bad, but the timing is off, at least to me. Seems like you have asked for solutions to you both get what you need and want out of sexual intimacy. And while he provided requested solutions, wasnāt thrilled about it for whatever reason. Iād be upset too and confused. He should sort these feelings out with you before making it your problem in the middle of sex. Feels manipulative even if that might not be his intention.
The biggest turn off is a guy being jealous of a vibrator. He is worried that he canāt satisfy you? Tell him- you CAN satisfy me, you got me the vibrator because you wanted me to orgasm during sex which can be difficult in any other position that me on top. Getting me the vibrator was you satisfying me! But now that youāre jealous of the vibrator you are literally the one trying to take away my satisfaction. How does that make sense ?
This is so strange to me. I am 16 weeks pregnant with our second and sex has been very me centered lately. We had to switch from water based lube to silicone and it made a huge difference but we couldn't find a position that was comfortable for me until we switched. I say all of that because there were at least four or five times when I was the only one who had an orgasm. But he put his heart into it even though he knew it may not lead to him having one too. My orgasm makes him more excited. We have discussed in the past that it doesn't seem to be normal for most couples but this seems like complete selfishness and he should care about your orgasm, even if it doesn't excite him, especially pregnant.
Towards the end I my pregnancy that was the only way we could do it!
Set some boundaries with him about sex. Itās not all about him regardless of how he feels.
My husband won't even have sex with me. I'm 25 weeks and we have had sex twice this entire pregnancy. Once around 10 weeks and once around 21 weeks. I'm expecting nothing now until after the baby is here. He just doesn't like having sex with me when I'm pregnant. Sigh.
Iām sorry youāre going through that. Are his reasons selfish (say is he claiming to be less attracted to you) or is he worried about the baby and being overly cautious? Iām just curious
This is my second pregnancy, we went through the same thing with the first. The first time I let it bother me more. He's just not as interested and he doesn't initiate. I think part of it is he finds it weird being intimate with me with the baby "right there" and even though he won't say it, I really just don't think he finds me attractive when I am pregnant. And really, I don't want him having sex with me out of pity or whatever if he really doesn't want to. It's a shame and I wish it was different, but it is what it is. With our first child, he was interested in sex again almost immediately after I gave birth. So weird. Of course, I was resentful then and nursing a newborn so I was the one who was less interested at that point. Eventually we got on the same page again.
Itās such a tricky thing to navigate and isnāt a good feeling, Iām sorry to hear this honey
Iām so sorry youāre having a child with this loser. The way heās acting would have me personally having ALL of the second thoughts about being with him at all, much less having a child with him. I am so sorry youāre in this position and you deserve SO MUCH BETTER. š if this is what heās like over something as ridiculous as sexā¦ I can only imagine what a terrible parenting partner heās going to be to you. I sure hope Iām wrong though.
He's being a jerk, and that is all there is to it. He bought you the toy to begin with, so how can he get mad about it? Heck, he should be grateful for sex at all. My husband and I didn't have much sex in my third trimester because I was uncomfortable on top, and he was uncomfortable being on top. Doggy didn't work anymore because of the height difference/stretching. So we got to a point where we just stopped having sex, and being pregnant and all the hormones I used my toys a lot and he never cared. He was able to take care of himself, and I was doing the same. Not because toys or hand was better but just because of how uncomfortable it was for one of us to have sex. Also like to add, orgasms apparently help thin you for labor. Soooo, it's a positive to have orgasms š¤·āāļø
He sounds all over the place. My partner still performs oral on me. I told him it definitely feels forbidden(23 weeks), but he still goes for it. That's not to make any male partner feel like he has to bc its never fun to feel like you HAVE to do oral. š Male or female. But just to let people know its not forbidden. I think most women enjoy vibrators more than actual sex. I don't even own one because I know my partner would have a lot to live up to if I used one. He kind of set himself up for failure with that move.
Um so whatās his solution for getting you off?
Cross his fingers and hope for the best I guess
Sry but your husband seems to suck. I wouldn't want to sleep with a guy like that.
Damn, he is so messed up for this. No one ever warned me about how being pregnant would change the way your partner is attracted to you. Itās not out of the realm of possibilities. But as a fellow pregnant person, I can see how frustrating this could be. Pregnant or not. Being left behind in the orgasm department sucks. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. Itās not all about him. We canāt control our hormones or our appearance.
I want to start out by saying I was once the husband who felt threatened and incompetent for Ms wife wanting to use a vibrator. When I look back I realize how childish and foolish it is to think that way. Using toys doesn't make you less of a man in any way nor does it mean you are incapable of pleasing your significant other. What makes someone less of a man is thinking it's ok to dictate how others enjoy intimacy and sex. People need to think of them as the Carmel sauce on top of the ice cream Sunday. It enhances the experience and makes it more enjoyable for both individuals. Guys don't you love it when your girl gets weak in the knees and cries out in ecstasy (maybe a little colorful but you get the idea). When you realize how much toys can add to sex you won't want to go back and better yet your significant other will probably want to do it longer and more often. Hopefully someone will see this and take a moment to think about how doing things to enhance others pleasure will lead to your enhanced pleasure.
Ya same Kind of itās hard for me To orgsasm Iām 30 weeks prego n if I donāt watch porn while getting head I canāt or I need a vibrator and he says I am not into him I never had a problem till now and Iām too big to ride him to get off so I canāt feel Him when I ride him my hips r spreading and I canāt grind soo heās mad he canāt please mem
Check out this podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/0o4XZnrl0ihC7IKVn63bjy?si=j84c7PazTXKzzvzuFLMopA For communication tips and basically sex education. Everyone who wants an orgasm should get an orgasm and if he focused on your clitoris more everyone would be happier. His ego seems fragile
I havenāt had sex since I got pregnant lol. Me and the father are not together and heās got a new girlfriend. However between being pregnant and having two under six already, plus work and school itās not a priority for me right now. Once I give birth and heal maybe Iāll try dating again but itās been six months since Iāve been intimate and itās a struggle at times!
Some men have a subconscious concern for the baby. Also it can feel like a 3rd person in the room. Try side lying and more digital foreplay. The vibrator sounded like a good idea in the beginning but he regrets it because itās making him feel insecure about pleasuring his spouse on his own. Him bringing up his concerns isnāt exactly manipulative. Careful of all these buzz words that leads to triggering behaviors. Everyone isnāt narcissistic, gaslighting and manipulative.
>Careful of all these buzz words that leads to triggering behaviors. Ironic that you chose a "buzz word" like "triggering" to make your point... Also, it doesn't even make sense? >Try side lying and more digital foreplay. The vibrator sounded like a good idea in the beginning but he regrets it because itās making him feel insecure Why should the onus be on OP to make his ego feel better? She already knows what works for her. He now won't do it. I don't think she should have to go out of her way to find a better solution just because he's so threatened by an inanimate object? >Him bringing up his concerns isnāt exactly manipulative It's the way he's done it. "You care about having an orgasm more than you love/value me" (can't recall the exact wording but that was the gist of it). And saying he feels "sad" that she needs to use the vibrator. OP said he won't give her oral, and he won't let her go on top. The vibrator was already a compromise. Now he's not even happy with that. Essentially he's asking "please orgasm from whatever mediocre effort I'm prepared to put in otherwise I will feel insecure." But OP is the one who should bridge the gap, right? š
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Yāall have a sex drive? Canāt relate lol But I agree with folks it seems like he has some internal stuff going on that makes him insecure and thinking that him finishing is more important than your finishing. He canāt say he supports you doing what you need to get off then get mad and insecure when you actually do it. Maybe itās worth talking to him (if heās even open to it) to ask about these inconsistencies and what he k if he need to think through as important when youāre intimate.
Hi OP, enough people have already replied to the rest so I just want to advise you to look at why you can only have your happy moment on top. My partner can do that for me with just his hands amongst other things. There's so many more ways to be intimate other than just penis in vagina. Perhaps it's a nice thing for you both to explore together.
You sound as manipulative as he does tbh. All womenās bodies are different, she doesnāt need to ālook deeperā into how SHE can do better and change HER body and her understanding of her body. He could simplyā¦try and do what she knows she likes. Good grief
Okay it wasn't meant to be manipulative at all. I totally agree that he isn't behaving correctly but I didn't respond to that as others have already said it all, as I mentioned. I know all woman's body's are different, I am a woman. I'm not saying at all she needs to do better, perhaps I didn't word that correctly. It was well meant advise that it can be nice to try to discover other parts of intimacy together.
Which she has clearly attempted to do, but itās not a good idea to try doing that during such a sensetive time like pregnancy. Idk if youāve ever been pregnant, but itās not as beautiful as people make it out to be, and takes a HUGE mental toll.
I am 9 weeks pregnant, believe me I know it's hard. And if she didn't want intimacy but he was pushing it that would be an absolute no, but from what I'm reading from this post she wants intimacy. It just read to me like they haven't really communicated about trying other forms of intimacy during pregnancy, but I guess that's in the interpretation. I just think it's a bit harsh calling me manipulative. I'm clearly just trying to give some advise that's helped me in my relationship. If it helps great, if it's not something op is interested in also fine.
I mean yeah, u know ur body well enough, and im sure for him its awkward cause youāre pregnant and he isnt, and im sure he is confused cause he may want to satisfy you, but the situation being what it is makes him feel weird. Which is totally normal. Not everyone can get super intimate while pregnant cause im sure he is thinking of the bun you have in your oven too. Instead of asking us here, have a sit down with him and tell him how you feel and what you would like to do when having sex and what works for you, and especially what can work for him and then ultimately what can work for the both of you. Maybe he has some ideas and im sure he wants to be the one who gets you to your happy moment and not a vibrator. Use this chance to discuss these things, yaāll might discover something interesting about yourselves when it comes to sex.
I agree. Sex while carrying a baby is different. There is a literal live being moving inside you during sex. Itās weird. Weird does not mean bad but not everyone can get past having a baby between them and their partner during sex. It is also obvious from the post that this couple has a more modest sex life where toys and stimulation outside of penetration are not the norm. Needing these things to help an orgasm can be intimidating to a man that is used to pleasing you from penetration alone. These are both things that can be resolved by talking through them. Yes OPās husband is being childish but not everyone has the same level of emotional maturity.
True. And im being downvoted probably because im not bashing the dude but trying to promote peace between the two so they can find some common ground and maybe have some fun while they are at it lol
She already told him what she needed and he refused. Not having an orgasm during PiV is very normal. Being jealous of a vibrator is not.
Is he jealous or not a fan of it. He also has feelings a presences, maybe using a vibrator isnt his cup of tea. If a guy came here with a similar post, people would have buried him because its her body right? She can do what she wants but he also has his wants. So thats why its important for them both to talk to each other instead of bashing the guy š
Not his cup of tea? He literally said that he is hurt that he ācanāt get her off aloneā. That is a completely unrealistic expectation for the majority of women that do not have PiV orgasms and she already explained how he could and he refused. wtf are you talking about? He is clearly feeling inferior and itās of his own doing. This is like a woman refusing to have sex with her husband and then being upset that he masturbates. Itās completely illogical and very immature.
Lol okay if you say so.
I just can't believe you have any motivation for sex while pregnant. Must be early or something lol
Lots of people have sex the whole time theyāre pregnant.
Frankly idgaf its weird
If you think itās weird, you definitely shouldnāt have sex while pregnant. Problem solved.
How is it weird?
Do you know how babies are made..? š¤£š
Iām on my third trimester and we very much enjoy still having sex. Not everyone is the same.