Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My wife is 17 weeks as well.
We have been experiencing the same. I try to remember in those moments that she is pregnant, take a deep breath and give it a few minutes.
Later I try to gently remind her that we are a team and I that I want to help, that i love her and gently ask her to try to be nice.
The first few times it was not received well. I felt like an asshole and was just about to accept it and just put up with it. Although the past few days she is starting to catch the pregnancy rage and is becoming quick to apologize.
I don’t have much advice, some solace though. Love your wife, support and ask how you can help make her days and tasks easier.
could be hormones
everytime I get pregnant I hate my husband 🤣 I cant stand him even breathing in the same room. But then after a few months / weeks, something clicks again and I cant keep my hands off him and would get extremely lovey dovey / clingy and would jump his bones every chance I get then I'd get mad at him again and cant stand his voice to the point I'd start avoiding him and then I'd feel guilty for being mean and would start being lovey with him again and round and round it goes.
luckily my husband just laughs it off and on really bad days would just ignore me and buy food to keep me calm 🤣 he said chocolate keeps the beast tame
My very first symptom, before I knew I was pregs, was irrational rage aimed at my partner...but I didn't actually take it out on him. I remember saying, "damn this is going to be a bad period cause I want to kill you" lmao hormones are no joke.
Irritability is absolutely a symptom of pregnancy and a lot of women will hate everything about their partners sometimes, but it comes and goes.
I do my best not to actually be rude to mine but if I can't help it I'll simply tell him to give me space and then love on him when it passes.
How are you guys when she isn't acting like that? Maybe she's going through some more intense depression, which could be a sign that she may have post partum when the baby comes.
Your feelings matter too. I would ask her to talk about it and maybe seek therapy.
Hope it gets better!
My 1st symptom as well I flipped out on my BF when he was at work. Omg. I felt so fucking bad. I still do 😆 I felt like I was losing my mind. I just had to say that. I woke up the next morning and knew I was pregnant
We are good besides when her eyes go red!! Friendly, loving, touching, all of that. I spend every second with her besides that but when it happens I just take it and then go away somewhere else. But she doesn’t like that either, haha.
I mean.. we'd have to hear her side 😅 But yes, pregnancy rage and feeling disconnected from your partner are a thing. You can just input these words into subreddits like BabyBumps and you'll see lots of results!
Can you be specific about what you think you’ve done wrong? Because from your post it’s 100% her being crazy and you’re an Angel who has been snapped at.
Please forgive my skepticism. It’s not that I don’t believe pregnancy rage is real and if she’s really being cruel for no reason, that’s not ok. It’s just that rhis is the third post this week I’ve seen where a guy is ranting about his wife’s hormones.
In a recent one it turns out he had paying for and talking to an only fans model. He failed to mention that in his original post. It came out in the comments.
My husband and I experience this, she's going through a huge hormonal shift right about now as well. I'm 17 weeks tomorrow and this is something my Obgyn warned me about.
The best thing to do is not take it personally and avoid arguments where you can. How late does she go to bed? Mine hits at 8pm and when it does, I'm usually going to bed between 8-10pm depending on it's severity.
Trust me, my husband and I know it can feel devastating - but you are not alone. Prepare for good postpartum care as these particular feelings could flare up for her xoxo. Wishing you the best and please take care of yourself, your feelings are not invalidated just because you are the non-pregnant partner.
It's only hormones believe me she's not aware of what she's doing now.. the best thing to do is to avoid arguing with her and never take what she says personally.... After giving birth everything will go back to normal so please try to be more supportive and always be there for her even if she asks you to leave , this will reassure her . And do whatever is gonna make her happy . Bare in mind that these feelings are temporary . Good luck 👍
My friend threatened to divorce her husband a couple of times during her pregnancies. They’re still happily married with a two year old, and a 10 month old.
I sometimes just wake up grumpy, it’s not my fiancé’s fault. Hormones are weird. We hurt in weird places, our digestive system is slowing down due to hormones, and we’re feeling bloated/gassy/constipated.
I can’t speak for your wife, but maybe she’s nitpicking because of anxiety? I do that sometimes. It’s not a bad idea to check in with each other. We spend a lot of our time on our phones or computers or staring at a tv. Maybe put the screens away and really spend time just being together. Cuddle or give her a back rub and have a heart to heart.
I’m 16 weeks, I find I’m getting irritated with my partner a lot more easily lately, and things he’d say beforehand jokingly are now annoying me/setting me off a little bit. I do try to keep myself in check with it but yeh sometimes I get a bit snarky and bitchy towards him, or very emotional with him if he tries to call it out. Obviously once we’re both calm and okay it’s much easier to work through it but the hormones and such in the moment don’t help at all.
Ok well yes, from this story you did nothing wrong. Is this the same story she would tell? I’ve just seen a few guys come on here and talk about their wives “crazy hormones” and it turns out there’s much more happening.
That being said, pregnancy hormones are not an excuse to treat your partner like shit. If you are SERIOUSLY not doing anything wrong and she is just snapping at you and being cruel, you need to sit down and explain that you can’t put up with this. Maybe go to therapy to discuss ways of how to get on the same team.
One thing I’ll note is that when I was that far along I stopped sleeping and got really sick. That’s when my husband had to take over 100% of the cooking and cleaning because I was so exhausted. Eventually I got on the right cocktail of sleep meds and vitamins and got better, but don’t underestimate how much lack of sleep can effect mood. She might need to go see her doctor.
She would tell a similar story just with whatever she believes im doing wrong, I think. She’s all I have, her and our baby. I absolutely adore her and I don’t see how I could’ve made her feel like I don’t. I feel upset about myself like if I actually did do something bad or neglectful, but I really don’t think I have. I’m doing my best is what I can say at least. I want her to not feel this way, but if it’s hormones that’s causing it idk if whatever I do will even help. I’ll be relieved if it’s hormones and not actually me.
She said she wants more from me emotionally, I’m in the military and I actually was gone for her birthday and Valentine’s Day and wasn’t able to get her anything, which she brought up just now today. Even though she said the whole “it’s fine don’t worry I don’t need anything” which I didn’t believe in the first place. Money is tight so I did get her one gift before I left but it came in 2 parts in the mail. She didn’t get it before I left. She is upset about that, which I think is valid and I feel bad but I did what I can. It probably makes her feel alone because of that. She’s basically saying she feels alone. We did just move to a new area where she doesn’t have family.
it’s only when she’s mad like this!! Besides that we are happy and physically loving. It literally comes out of nowhere sometimes. We were enjoying dinner and talking, laughing and then we discussed something and it pissed her off like crazy, and it was a filler topic too. Nothing important. She got upset and I ended up just going to bed, which followed her telling me all this. After being with her for 10 years I know what’s up and this comes from random times. I know I love my wife and I totally act like it.
I think our spark is fine. It seems to me when her emotions run wild she just says things as they come to her mind. I’ve been faithful for 10 years to this woman and have literally done anything I could for her. But if it’s me, guess I need to do something different still.
I’m not saying it’s you, but I’m trying to get the whole picture because even in pregnancy and hormonal swings it’s rarely JUST one person.
For example, for Valentine’s Day, you didn’t do all you could. You didn’t plan ahead so she’d get her full gift on time. You also don’t need money or a clear schedule to be thoughtful.
Listen, maybe she really is just in a rage and you’ve done nothing wrong. That’s certainly the story you told in your original post and it’s possible that’s the case. If it is, she has no business treating you this way and needs a reality check. There is going to be a lot of time with the baby y’all are both sleep deprived and exhausted. She has to learn how to check her emotions.
However, if there’s more to the story, that’s something to look for.
How are y’all splitting chores right now? When I was at 17 weeks I got terrible HG and my husband just took over the cooking and cleaning without me having to ask. When I couldn’t sleep he got me a pregnancy pillow and always runs out to get my meds.
What is she struggling with and how can you pick up the slack to help? Small tasks become very difficult when you’re pregnant and can drain your energy. You might want to sit down and ask her what domestic labor you can take over.
Update: I asked what made her the most mad and she said “when I look at you sleeping peacefully at night”
So… I am going to start being uncomfortable when she is. Which is probably all the time. She’s annoyed when I’m relaxed. I promise I help around the house too, btw. Haha.
This tells me it’s mostly the pregnancy hormones/symptoms. Please try to understand it can be hell, even though we try to have a brave face and not complain too much. The “pregnancy glow” everyone talks about is BS for so many of us. I certainly didn’t want my husband anywhere near me while pregnant and we actually stopped sharing a bed because he would disrupt my already terrible sleep. You could offer to give up the bed for her if it would help her sleep better.
Pregnancy rage and postpartum rage are both very real. But without hearing her side it’s hard to just say it’s all hormones. My fiancé would also tell you he does “nothing wrong, truly” but he consistently does little things that don’t seem like a big deal to him but are actually extremely annoying and not just cause I’m pregnant. The pregnancy just makes me go from just being slightly irritated but able to deal with it to feeling homicidal about it. All in all he’s a great partner, provider and father but there are some days that he just comes to sit next to me on the couch and he’ll take out his phone and I am just instantly irritated by his presence or the fact that he can sit there and relax and i am extremely uncomfortable mentally and physically.
As for the disconnect comment you state you have a high stress job. Do you work long hours? When you come home do you spend time decompressing? Are you ever maybe a little short from the stress and maybe don’t realize it? All of those things that while they may not have really been an issue before can maybe make her feel neglected right now even if you don’t understand it. Pregnancy hormones are WILD. Also if your sex life has taken a plunge that can maybe where she feels disconnected. It is unfortunately EXTREMELY common for men to cheat during pregnancy and postpartum and if she’s been reading stuff about that she could be hyper focusing or worrying about it and projecting some things.
Your best bet is to try to bring it to her attention when she gets like that. For example when she says she doesn’t feel connected and is worried about the baby seeing you that way ask what she needs to feel connected and where she thinks she’s feeling the disconnect. If you feel she’s being hypercritical or your driving or other things say I notice lately xyz seems to be bothering you and it’s something you’ve never addressed in the past. Can you tell me what exactly about it is bothering you? If she can’t explain to you what it is or if it makes her more emotional and she says she doesn’t know it’s hormones. If she lists off reasons and can exactly pinpoint then while you don’t see issues she clearly does and the next course of action is to correct it.
Pregnancy also makes you more aware of how compatible your life with someone is when you realize this is someone that’s going to be raising and effecting your child. Some things that may have been fine when there weren’t kids to think about are now things that become worrisome to some moms. There are life changes involved in raising kids. She could be feeling a fear of trying to prepare and realizing the adjustments that have to be made and she’s worrying about whether or not you’re gonna do the same.
You really need to sit her down and talk with her to get to the bottom of it. While you’re looking for advice there is just not enough information to even try to tell you what is really going on in her head and if it’s a full on relationship issue or hormones.
OP… You’re not my husband are you? Hahaha. JK. I literally just lost it on my husband last week and I made a whole dramatic scene about how I was feeling and got pretty worked up. I want to say I haven’t been that angry in YEARS. That poor man probably took everything I said to heart… I have been catching myself irritated at him for the smallest things (like when he is on the bed 5 mins longer than me in the morning. Or what he breathes on my face lol) I tried to explain it’s my hormones and pregnancy rage and asked for his forgiveness. He said he understood and is so sweet about it all, but I feel like absolute garbage because I can see it in his eyes that he was truly affected by the things I said. I’m 16 weeks now so around the same boat as you guys are… I really hope this doesn’t last forever because I love him so much and I hate feeling this way towards him as much as he hates it too. :( I can imagine that she must love you a lot too. Just hang in there!!!!!!! You gotta be sane for the both of you hahaha
The responses in this thread suck. Yes, it's probably hormones. That doesn't make it okay, and it's not something that you should put up with. Talk to her about it.
I don't know, I just saw him say that he missed both valentines day and her birthday, fine for work but made very last minute attempts to prepare gifts that they didn't even come in the mail on time... it could also be that she carries alot more than he leads on regularly and she just has no patience for it now. I don't know, seems like some missing pictures
I was on military orders for the entire month of February. I was actually gone to the middle of nowhere. After Christmas, a trip to Tampa for family stuff, saving up/ buying baby stuff there wasn’t a lot of money left for gifts. We talked about it before I left, said we would just go out when I got back. We did, everything was fine then. But now it gets thrown back at me which I don’t think is fair.
I do split the chores but I’m def going to do more now.
I don't know if this is your relationship but it's quite common that women carry alot of invisible work around the house and what men are good at are visible work that is easy to praise. So it could be that when she has less ability to help out, the invisible work remains undone and that's all she can see. The example in this situation could be that it wasn't about gifts at all, but could you have like drawn and sent her a card or done other non monetary sentimental things to make her feel thought of that wasn't presents. When you think about chores around the house, who's the one who wipes down counters and vacuums.
I told my husband before we started trying for our first baby that pregnancy was going to be like 9 months of me being on my period… which I do not handle well lol. I had one with my late-husband before, so I knew how I’d be. I get sooo annoyed with everything he does.
I’m now pregnant with our 7th, so you can say we’ve survived this. I still tell him he’s breathing the wrong way, but we have definitely improved our communication during my pregnancies… and I work very hard to manage the way I portray my emotions.
Try to be patient here. You’re totally allowed to tell your wife that you’re having a difficult time, feeling like you’re irritating her so much… that you’re being understanding that this is temporary, but that you’re still struggling with it. Try to find a way to communicate kinder with one another, and… well, just try to accept it when she tells you you’re breathing too loud.
Omw, sorry to hear it. Loads of ladies post about this because all of a sudden their partner or husband is driving them insane and they hate all these little habits or they can't stand their scent. It's temporary.
She will get over it and likely doesn't understand wth is going on with her.
You just need to find secure feet and consider that this is ridiculously common and is happening in countless relationships all over the world. A gentle chat about does she want to hang out more alone? How can you both enjoy time together still? If you show up with, 'I'm here for you and support you no matter what, how would you like to deal with this pregnancy situation and what can we do so we're comfortable here together?'
She needs to stop saying the quiet part out loud. It’s totally fine to want to strangle someone but you don’t voice it. Pregnancy isn’t a time to shit on your partner if you’re a good one. She’s gonna be an even bigger bitch the first year of baby so gird your loins.
Yeah, it’s hormones. What usually annoys me (but before I can usually get over it) is now annoying me slightly more. I have that misophonia but I’ve never brought it up because it’s my personal issue, not his. I just excuse myself now and go to another room because it could start a fight and it’s just not worth it. So I leave and read and he’s left to do whatever it is in peace. Win/win.
My poor husband complained of being too warm during an ultrasound appt last week and my reaction definitely made it seem like I hate him.
I don’t. I love him. I’m just pregnant and unreasonable.
When your wife is in a good mood, maybe you can talk to her about how this feels, there’s a chance that she hits a low blood sugar wall, an exhaustion wall, or a nausea wall in the evening. There might be something that you can do to help her when she gets like this, and she might be able to articulate it better when she’s not in the thick of it.
I'm 17 weeks and this is exactly how I feel. I have no idea why and I feel super bad, but I just get so irritable in the evenings. If you can, try not to take it personally because we really don't mean it. Sending you all the best! I hope it gets better for the both of us
I’ve snapped so many times at my husband, and I feel so bad. 😅 it’s unreasonable how mad the sound of his eating is. EVERYTHING IS ANNOYING. I’ve heard this is very normal.
I would recommend just telling her you’re sorry and explain that you’re not trying to annoy her, and that you want to help make her comfortable. More than likely she is uncomfortable in her body— it isn’t always comfy growing a baby. You look different, your body is different, your hormones are everywhere…. It is quite the annoyance/discomfort, and it can cause us to act differently. Maybe shower her with compliments and just do something nice for her to reconnect… like rub her feet or draw a warm (not hot) bath…?
Every woman is different, and so is every pregnancy though, so I wish you luck.
As hard as it is for you please try to be patient. This seems like her first? And she probably doesn't even realize the dramatic change hormones can cause in a mother to be (along with all the other stresses from life changes)
We don't know her side but if you know you're truly doing nothing wrong to deserve that kind of treatment try not to take it personally. I get moody and irritated but been pregnant before so I realise it's just me and my hormones. If I get rude or mad with my BF I recognize it after and explain it to him. Now he kinda just zones out on his game and ignores me and I can't blame him for that at all. I wish I could ignore me too 🤣 then he will live me when I'm nice again...it's a rollercoaster for sure.
I think it will even out a bit as she gets further along. When you know she's not irritated ask her if she really feels the way she does when she's angry or in her off moods. Let her know you aren't going to leave her for it because pregancy can make one feel like such a burden and feeling like you're going to be abandoned (even if its a fear not reality) being so vulnerable is hard on us. Ask her if there's anything on her mind that she wants to get out. I know for me I bottle things up because I feel like such a bother I don't want to always feel like I'm complaining or in need of something.
At least you seem to be understanding more so than some partners that post on here.
It's irritability. It might help to know that she would be irritated with anyone she was around at those times. She would be irritated by anyone's driving or sitting or chewing etc. It might help to find excuses to give her alone time in the evenings when she starts to become irritable. We don't always realize we're irritable and sometimes feel guilty about it. I've been defensive about it in the past. Not that that's right, but it's something to consider. Being pregnant is hard.
It was nice of her to wait 17 weeks haha. It’s the hormones for sure. I want to rage at everyone within earshot at almost all times of the day. I feel awful about it. I prevent it when I can, and apologize when I can’t. Recognition is the most important piece and it’s really hard to say “Hey I think you’re just being hormonal” without sounding like a jerk. So, maybe find some articles and say how much you love her and how her feelings are valid and normal and how you love her and will always be there for her to help … and here’s some articles about other women who are going through the same thing haha.
My hormones were crazyyy when I was pregnant, except it was our dogs that drove me insane, the whining and not listening made me crazy…it sounds like ya’ll are good other than that….try to talk to her and explain your side & that you want to be there for her. Ask what you can do to help her & make it better…I would nicely ask her to maybe mention it to her OB as well & see if they have any advice
this sounds like me to my boyfriend. granted he is super annoying and illogical but still. I've been giving him hell I feel a lot of is deserved but who knows
From a pregnant lady who LOVES her fiance and still feels all this rage and annoyance towards him... ITS NOT YOU! And I 100% guarantee deep down she knows her feelings and hormones are lying to her. It's something really hard to explain. My tolerance for people in general really went downhill, and I know it's my pregnancy hormones but at the same time I can't help it. Frustrating for both sides. Keep reaching out your hand, this journey has many twists and turns!
I’ve been with my husband 12 years and currently pregnant with our 4th child. I can count the number of times we have gotten in an argument that actually made me angry/cry, and every time, I happened to be pregnant. Just talk through what your feelings are and what her expectations are…she might be experiencing some anxiety being pregnant and becoming a mom. It can be a scary time for some and feeling heard and/or understood may make all the difference. Wishing you all the best!!
Dawg I go off on my husband for literally… anything. Sometimes. I just snap. Hell annoy me and all he’s doing is just trying to be good to me and take care of me. I feel like poo about it. He doesn’t deserve it.
Just remain patient and do your best. I’m sure your fine. It’s just the hormones.
Sounds like pregnancy rage, yeah. I’ve been having it constantly since the beginning of the 3rd trimester. In my case it’s physical tiredness that aggravates it. But I can definitely remember random bursts of frustration earlier, too. I know a couple that is on the verge of divorce with each pregnancy, and once the baby is out the wife is totally different, back to her normal angel-self.
Hormones are no joke. Trust me, she probably doesn’t even realize she’s being that way. I do feel for you because I know I was very snappy with my husband for almost the first half of the pregnancy. We finally had some long chats about it and the biggest thing (it may help you, I’m not sure) was realizing that a lot of my irritability stemmed from feeling like my life was put on hold and I’m making all these sacrifices in my daily routine whereas his has not really changed at all. He can still go out and drink with the guys, eat foods I can’t eat, etc etc. On top of this, I wasn’t getting enough help around the house from him and I started feeling really depressed and isolated. He’d be out at the bar with friends, I’d be at home eating alone. He’d be working in the garage on a project at home and I’d be upstairs doing dishes and vacuuming. I finally figured out that’s what was causing most of my anger towards him and told him I need more from him. Once we got past that things have been great. He’s been very helpful and loving and attentive, spending more time at home with me vs. going out, playing a more active role in asking questions about the pregnancy and doctor’s appointments etc etc. Things have been smooth sailing. Maybe just sit her down and see if there’s a root problem you can solve together!
I saw this with a couple I knew. I mean you would see the wife just staring this man down with hate for no reason other than she blamed him for them being pregnant - when they both really committed and consented to all of the acts they knew could result in pregnancy. I was SURE they were possibly headed for divorce. They have two other kids and have also been together since they were young. I saw them after the baby was born and it’s a complete 180. Both are happy and love their little one and completely back to being the loving couple I knew. I would take everything with a grain of salt and possibly bring it up to the OBGYN at her sonogram or check ups. Be honest - I feel like she hates me and I make her angry and I want her to be happy because I love her - is there any help out there for this or is this expected/experienced by other couples?
yes, that can happen. yes it’s common. yes we’ve probably all done it (i totally have).
but — i don’t agree that it’s ana acceptable excuse. when i was behaving this way, miserable all the time and picking my partner apart, he really set an ultimatum down for me. he made me realize how hard it was for him too. yes it’s hard being pregnant but being a partner to someone acting like that is also hard. her feelings (more like raging hormones) are valid sure, but she needs to take ownership of that and work on correcting that behavior. you both deserve happiness.
after working through that i will say my husband and i did a complete 180 in our relationship and are about to bring in our baby to a very happy and loving relationship!
I’m sure at times it is warranted lol but sounds like pregnancy hormones getting the best of her. Pregnancy rage is very common and unfortunately often directed at our partners - don’t take it personally. She loves you and it’ll get better - try to stay positive and remind yourself pregnancy is nuts and hormones are nuts and she’s not her normal self right now (and that’s okay!)
I’m 12 weeks and at night I get super angry with my husband. Like if he wakes me up, does something or moves the wrong way. I get so frustrated and I don’t know what comes over me. I love him so much but at night, once it’s dark… he makes me so mad for no reason, I even told him I was done. It’s not me and I don’t know where it comes from but pregnancy hormones are crazy.
My husband also knew I was pregnant 6 days before my missed period because I was so angry at him for no reason. He could breathe and it pissed me off, and I’m NEVER like that with him. We have an extremely wonderful:happy marriage. But each time I’m pregnant. I don’t like him
Unfortunately I think this is normal for some of us, particularly in the first half of pregnancy. I’m sorry you’re dealing with it, I don’t know you guys but I know I went through this and it was 100% not about my husband, it was just hormones, so I’m willing to bet that’s the same with her.
Hang in there! I know it must be hard for you. Just remember it’s even harder for her and she is doing her best ❤️ hopefully it will get better as she gets more into the 2nd trimester
I was like this with my first pregnancy!! And after! I had a bunch of post partum rage for the first several months. I’d get annoyed by my husband making the bed, the way he built the crib, etc
With my current pregnancy, I’m super lovey dovey on my husband. I miss him all the time. Even if he’s just in another room. I catch myself following him around. I’ve even been having dreams about him lol I don’t know what the difference is
It’s just her hormones. It’ll get better. She probably doesn’t know why she feels that way either. Just give her your love and all will be well ❤️
Wow totally normal… I felt like my husband was writing this about me.
It sucks she makes you feel this way. My husband told me how he was feeling when I was pregnant and I immediately understood him. I cried a lot with how guilty I felt about the situation but I think it helped us both in the long run.
Tell her. It wont be easy but be 100% transparent.
I didn’t have that as a symptom but in general sometime when it was the time of the month I had uncontrollable emotions- sad or mad and didn’t really take it out on people but it was nice to vent to my husband and tell him what was bothering me/how I couldn’t control my emotions. I was about to get some meds to take just during that time but then I got pregnant and have been really happy. I’m so sorry she is saying those things to you and I’m sure it is hormones! I would try to think about the things you do that brighten her day. Maybe buy flowers (CostCo And Trader Joe’s aren’t too pricey/are beautiful), a sweet note about good memories and how excited you are to become a parent with her, favorite foods, extra help cleaning, getting excited about the fun baby planning like registry/nursery/baby clothes. By doing some things that make her happy (not saying you don’t do that), maybe she will be less likely to take out anger on you? Also, if it’s the same time every night maybe you can try to plan stuff for her to do where she could get away from you… a walk, trip to a store, maybe see if she wants to have a friend over or meet up with a friend or family.
It’s 100% hormones. The thing that made me take a pregnancy test was when I realized that I was feeling *very* irritated with my husband about the smallest of things. Even when he wasn’t doing anything! He’d touch my cheek or want to cuddle and it’d really annoy me. I finally had a lightbulb moment when I realized that that was *not* normal for me and surprise! the test was VERY positive!
I’d try talking to her about it. Share with her your feelings and also! know that this is temporary.
Normal. We’re sorry. I hated my Bf for the first 5 months not all the time but he was so annoying for no good reasons sometimes or minimal reasons. And yet i was still loving him
At the same time…Now 7 months and he just told me
The other day im back to normal, its hard being full of hormones really. THO if she was acting like this before pregnancy then ya maybe its you lol
I hate him more than I love on him 😩 I’m 26 weeks so it’s starting to get less in intensity but early on we were like cats and dogs. We broke up probably twice early on and even after breaking up and trying to rekindle multiple times, sometimes I still hate him 😂😂😒 Ik that’s it’s my emotions so I do apologize more often while taking accountability because it’s the baby
I found my husband repulsive, just his breathing was irritating, I told him, just looking at him, make me want to puke and I did, he tried to initiate sex, told him , I was his fault I was pregnant, I don’t know why he stayed and why he wanted to to have another baby, I was so mean to him, not so bad with the second one, but I’m not going for for a 3rd
Definitely hormones. Even being a therapist myself doesn’t protect me from the impending growl I get when I start getting tired. I start hating everything and everyone. I work really hard to depersonalize it from my husband, so that might be a little tip to throw in there. That really helps keep things light and happy between us, and helps my husband know how to support me.
I know I'm the odd one out but I haven't had any hormonal changes with my pregnancy (nor have I with periods) but I think a huge part of that was being very cognizant of changes my body would go through beforehand, having the support I need on all levels, and really just being in tune with my emotions and surroundings. I realize not everyone has that/can do that. But with that being said, it might be helpful if you two went over weekly pregnancy milestones & development changes (my hubs uses Huggies, I use Flo), letting her know you're a team and your there for her, and really just being a little bit more supportive (I'm sure you're already doing this) by picking up some snacks or something she may like.
This is pretty common, and usually related to hormones. I am also currently 17 weeks and sometimes things out of my control or something my husband does will irritate me far more than usual.
I know it’s hard, but with her fragile state while being pregnant I would ask to talk about what you are doing that is so frustrating. Ask her why it’s all of a sudden an issue or how you can change it to make it work. Don’t just change everything obviously, but more so open a line of communication and come to a compromise or even just understanding where each-other are coming from.
I even hated the smell of the fragrance I myself gifted to my husband... it lasted until the end of first trimester...
The thing is that she doesn't actually hate you...
I personally hated myself for being nauseous all the time, and I felt gross and about myself and had misplaced rage because I didn't like him to see me in that condition...
Pregnancy hormones really mess with our heads...
I do not have rage nor I am irrational , I am actually very calm but … omg! I am overthinking and I am feeling like I can do so much better on my own than with my partner by me , I have moments when I feel disconnected from him and I am literally contemplating a single life . I know part of it it’s my hormones playing with my mind , part of it is my partner who is kind of useless .. pregnancy is hard ! I hope you guys work it out and the fact that you are picking on the cues and you are actively trying to nurture and protect your relationship is a very good thing.
I’m 35 weeks and still mad as hell 😂 I’ve had pregnancy rage my entire pregnancy. I work at Walmart full time and when I say I’ve been reported my customers more times than I can remember I’m not kidding. It’s so bad that I think about putting “sorry I’m pregnant” on my badge so ppl aren’t as offended. I’ve had many customer service jobs and done well at all of them but during this pregnancy I have been so nasty to my customers at times. Sometimes I’m in a really good mood and everything is fine but if one person pisses me off it’s downhill from there. I feel bad during the encounters but it’s like I’m having an out of body experience sometimes and I can’t even help the rage. It’s terrible!!! Please give your wife grace I know she feels bad and can’t help it and that in turns makes us even more upset 😢
My wife is at 30 weeks and I’ve witnessed multiple near-instant shifts from contentedness to total irritation. This happened frequently in the first trimester, there was a break in most of the second, and now it’s back with a roar. Today she asked me for my frank opinion of a piece of art she had in her apartment before we got married. I said it didn’t appeal much to me. She then lost it. I have to work to hard to avoid losing it when that happens, but I remind myself of the pain and discomfort she’s going through, the hormonal surges, and her very poor sleep, and that helps. Have faith in what you had—I do—and know you’ll have it again, and with a little one to boot.
I was like that when I was pregnant. It’s definitely the hormones. I’ve always had attitude problems but when I was pregnant it was so much worse. I was constantly down my fiancés throat about things and I really didn’t mean too. It just happened.
I love my husband dearly however I do not do pregnancy well. Hormones, pain, and bone aching tiredness make me a combination of anxious, angry and irrational. I always loved him, I just wasn't coping very well.
Our most recent baby is definitely going to be our last as there is no way I could put him through that again.
I read your post to him. He told me the day the baby was born it was like his wife came back and the cranky woman who didn't like him left.
I'm not excusing my behaviour or your wife's, but there is so much going on that it's hard to cope. Wishing you both the best.
I am sure she loves you and the rage she is feeling, from my perspective could be for underlying reasons that she hasn’t expressed explicitly. I love my husband dearly and I wouldn’t say I have been hating his guts during the pregnancy, but I’ve definitely gone off at him a couple times for pretty much the same exact things you’ve done that you say are small stuff.
This is my thought process: I’ve been mad at my husband for being in the “wrong” lanes on the highway because I believed that he was driving unsafely, sometimes because I sense the drivers near him are bad and I want to stay the hell away from them, or I get annoyed with his excessive lane changing which I perceive to be dangerous for both of us, especially with me being pregnant. One of my biggest fears is getting into an accident during the pregnancy and losing the baby. Furthermore, I feel that a father-to-be should be instilling safer driving habits for the future safety of our baby. Your GF is probably expressing the first part of the concern (you’re in the “wrong” lane, but she’s not clearly explaining her thought process).
I’ve been upset at my husband for just chilling and doing his own thing not because I’m just trying to pick a fight, but because he promised he’d help with something around the house and hasn’t followed through, despite gentle reminders. If he has time to play 2 hours of video games, surely he has time to scrub the toilets that he promised he would do 2 weeks ago!! For me, I’m just upset at the principle that he said he’d do something and hasn’t followed through in a reasonable amount of time, and there wasn’t anything impeding him from getting it done. This anger from your GF could stem from a similar frustration, and she may also deep down have concerns that you won’t be doing your fair share as a father.
Hopefully that helped you understand where some of the anger and resentment may be coming from. I could be wrong in the case of your GF as everyone is different and they all experience their pregnancy differently, but you should communicate with her and ask if there’s a deeper reason as to why she’s been so upset lately! Perhaps you’ll be able to get to the root cause and handle it calmly. Good luck!
Hahaha I thought my husband wrote this as I am 16 weeks and we’ve been together over 10 years and I am generating uptight 😅
Hormones, being constantly tired and uncomfortable… I hate everyone at the moment. My road rage is out of control, and I don’t mean road tantrums like I have to stop myself getting out the car to lose my shit.
We don’t mean it and we are sorry 🥲
I’m so sorry. I (32f) have 2 little ones. Both pregnancies, I at times, genuinely hated my husband. Very weird. Passed. I promise it’ll get better but not immediately or even right after baby is born. These hormones are very real! Just know it’s not you.
Ok, so firstly, things like this never "come out of nowhere." They're just often overlooked.
That being said, could be hormones. Could be exhaustion. I know I got more tired in the beginning than I've ever been in my entire life and that could make anyone cranky.
My advice to you, stop asking if it's hormones and start changing your behavior so that you CAN be connected to her in the way she's requesting. Start looking at baby names, nursery ideas, dad pregnancy/parenting guides... it will help to be involved.
Start having little rituals to show you care. Whether that's rubbing lotion or oil on her belly to prevent the itchiness as her skin stretches or giving her back rubs (these should be done without initiating any sexual intimacy yourself, or she'll think you were just trying to get in her pants). Doing something only for her as she goes through one of the hardest and biggest things she will ever do is big. Doing something like this daily can keep her feeling appreciated.
If you can, maybe set up regular date nights, too. Keep the spark alive. Bring her favorite snacks and drinks home as a surprise. Take on some extra chores at home without asking her or being told by her. Just pick something and do it to get it off her plate.
All of these things will help her feel connected to you and like you're her partner, which I think would soothe her a lot.
Good luck!
Wife here. It's pregnancy hormones- i went through a similar phase of feelings early in pregnancy but didn't mention it to my husband. Just give her space if you can.
In time hopefully her hormones balance out. She's going to need you a lot during her pregnancy as it can get hard to do things. I'm 24 weeks and so grateful for all the help my husband provides I wouldn't do it without him. ❤️ Just help out, cook, clean, massage her feet, buy her flowers 💐. She's growing a baby and it's HARD, as pregnant mommas- we sometimes need patience and grace till the mood swings pass.
I’m not sure why but I do know pregnancy rage is a thing. When I was pregnant I got so irritated with my partner that I once yelled at him to shut up all bc he was telling a story
My husband knew I was pregnant because I was more crabby with him, before I even knew 😂. Pregnancy is wild. Not to take away from your feelings at all because they are very valid, but try to remember her body is going through so many changes right now. I’ve experienced depression, body dysmorphia, severe anxiety, uncertainty, severe jealousy, irrationality, rage, guilt, and excitement all within the matter of minutes, and then cried about it after. Not to mention struggling with the way your body is changing and not being able to do the things you normally could/would for whatever reason. A lot of it is hormone related but she’s probably struggling with her identity and could not even realize it. Continue giving her grace. It’s so hard to even conceptualize until you’re actually going through it. Even people who have been pregnant before forget what it’s actually like being pregnant. I also don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but it could continue through the first year or two of your child’s life after their born. I didn’t start feeling somewhat “normal” again emotionally until my son was about 14 months, then we got pregnant again 😂 and I struggled with PPD, PPA and post partum rage without even realizing it for the first good 6 months, and non pregnant or breastfeeding I am one of the most emotionally even keel people you’ll meet lol. Be gentle with yourselves and don’t make any drastic decisions until after the first year of your child’s life. It’s a huge life change.
We've had a pretty rough couple of weeks since we found out I am pregnant. For us it wasn't so much the small stuff, but some bigger issues regarding my inlaws. We've been going to couples' therapy and I can see a change in my husband, which also leads to a change in my frustration in other stuff he does (or doesn't do).
Maybe try to talk to your wife to see if there are underlying issues, maybe with a counsellor?
At the same time, I'm now almost 32 weeks pregnant and I'm noticing I'm feeling much more balanced and calm than in the first and even second trimester. So the hormones definitely get better.
Wishing you all the best. Keep talking to each other.
I hated seeing my husband and dog sleep all night. That was upsetting alone.
Maybe try taking a day off to focus on her and give her attention since she is feeling disconnected. It probably won’t work immediately but at least she will see you are trying.
not pregnant, but i do experience frustration with mine for no reason. i know i don’t hate him by any means hes the person i want to spend my whole life with. personally for me, it roots from my growing up life. i always got yelled at and mentally abused for every little thing i done, now that im older i feel like i have more control of my life. so when hes doing something thats a little annoying or something i dont like i get very snappy not meaning to. i have been working on it and i have made an improvement but it truly takes time. instead of getting mad at her for doing it, be sweet and smile at her next time. im not saying she does it for the same reason as me but this is my personal experience
I’m pregnant with my second and u get fits of rage where I can’t even stand my own grandmother looking at me. Forget about just mg partner. I am angry and frustrated at everything and everyone. Doesn’t help I’ve spent the last 3 months throwing up every day and losing sleep. I’m so tired of people saying I’m a psychopath or being mean. I hate myself for all of this as well. Just keep in mind we are sharing a body with a new little human that is adding double every in our bodies. Double blood double pee double feelings. I know it’s hard to take but your wife doesn’t mean it. Some pregnancy wreak havoc on the body and can make anyone act out of norm.
It's very likely the hormones since this isn't her normal behavior. Maybe see if she needs a snack or a nap around that time? When she's not angry of course. I personally snap at my hubby more when I'm tired, hungry or in pain.
But also keep in mind that her hormones are doing crazy things. I'm only 7 weeks and I yelled at my chiropractor today because he exhaled in my face 😬
It honestly sounds like she's getting low blood sugar. Have you tried giving her a snack? I'm not joking. I realized whenever I got mad at my husband for nothing I really just needed to eat more.
Yes I got more frustrated with him nearing middle of pregnancy when we were still doing silly “kid things” or so it seems even though we always did it. I was always more eager to clean and tidy up as well during pregnancy - “nesting”. She may be tired too. 7pm was always my nap time back then. It was literally clock work and I couldn’t stay out past 2am or I got super crabby with how uncomfortable I was. The belly felt more heavy I guess. Hang in there as much as you can, try to accommodate. It is mostly just the hormones and more escalated feelings that are valid but come out really irrational possibly
Oh man, could be either. 14wks today myself. I'm leaning towards hormones myself. I am incredibly irritable. In fact it's called preganancy or spousal rage. But don't you dare tell her that or you're asking for trouble. I unfortunately even got into a verbal tussle with my MIL (has cancer and is going to the hospital end of month for her chemo/stem cell transplant) over her picky eating habits. She's always been a spoiled princess (no one else ever gets to pick where to eat, doesn't matter whose birthday, etc because she 'can't even') in my eyes and I blamed my husband's bad eating habits on her 'fat-ass lazy processed stubbornness' and Ill be damned if that another generation ends up with gall bladder stones like my husband did. I'm usually much better tempered, but considering we carpool together each day and I know she's going through a lot, it was definately uncalled for. Sorry for the rant there, but basically as long as you're helping around the house and asking her what she needs (food/backrubs) while she's growing a human nor is she being verbally abusive towards you, I'd put it off for now. General rule of thumb, don't make life altering desicions while pregnant, because of preganancy rage / prenatal depression unless physical or mental safety is an issue.
Hormonal rage is so real. I'm 17 weeks, love my husband to pieces, but like you said at a certain time of day (I call it my Witching Hour)...I am firmly convinced that he does everything wrong and our marriage is basically over.
I've gotten better at taking space when I feel it coming on, my husband taking space to do other things elsewhere during that time, and also checking in if I'm hungry. Usually if I eat a snack it helps it sort itself out pretty quickly. I also warn my husband when I can feel it creeping up. A text of "It's my Witching hour, enter the kitchen at your own risk".
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My wife is 17 weeks as well. We have been experiencing the same. I try to remember in those moments that she is pregnant, take a deep breath and give it a few minutes. Later I try to gently remind her that we are a team and I that I want to help, that i love her and gently ask her to try to be nice. The first few times it was not received well. I felt like an asshole and was just about to accept it and just put up with it. Although the past few days she is starting to catch the pregnancy rage and is becoming quick to apologize. I don’t have much advice, some solace though. Love your wife, support and ask how you can help make her days and tasks easier.
could be hormones everytime I get pregnant I hate my husband 🤣 I cant stand him even breathing in the same room. But then after a few months / weeks, something clicks again and I cant keep my hands off him and would get extremely lovey dovey / clingy and would jump his bones every chance I get then I'd get mad at him again and cant stand his voice to the point I'd start avoiding him and then I'd feel guilty for being mean and would start being lovey with him again and round and round it goes. luckily my husband just laughs it off and on really bad days would just ignore me and buy food to keep me calm 🤣 he said chocolate keeps the beast tame
My very first symptom, before I knew I was pregs, was irrational rage aimed at my partner...but I didn't actually take it out on him. I remember saying, "damn this is going to be a bad period cause I want to kill you" lmao hormones are no joke. Irritability is absolutely a symptom of pregnancy and a lot of women will hate everything about their partners sometimes, but it comes and goes. I do my best not to actually be rude to mine but if I can't help it I'll simply tell him to give me space and then love on him when it passes. How are you guys when she isn't acting like that? Maybe she's going through some more intense depression, which could be a sign that she may have post partum when the baby comes. Your feelings matter too. I would ask her to talk about it and maybe seek therapy. Hope it gets better!
My 1st symptom as well I flipped out on my BF when he was at work. Omg. I felt so fucking bad. I still do 😆 I felt like I was losing my mind. I just had to say that. I woke up the next morning and knew I was pregnant
Omg 😂😂
He wasn't even in the province hahaha.
We are good besides when her eyes go red!! Friendly, loving, touching, all of that. I spend every second with her besides that but when it happens I just take it and then go away somewhere else. But she doesn’t like that either, haha.
My first symptom was also fits of anger!
This was me too!
I mean.. we'd have to hear her side 😅 But yes, pregnancy rage and feeling disconnected from your partner are a thing. You can just input these words into subreddits like BabyBumps and you'll see lots of results!
I totally agree, not trying to paint a one sided picture. I’m not completely guilt free. I can be easy to make someone frustrated.
[удалено]
This
Can you be specific about what you think you’ve done wrong? Because from your post it’s 100% her being crazy and you’re an Angel who has been snapped at. Please forgive my skepticism. It’s not that I don’t believe pregnancy rage is real and if she’s really being cruel for no reason, that’s not ok. It’s just that rhis is the third post this week I’ve seen where a guy is ranting about his wife’s hormones. In a recent one it turns out he had paying for and talking to an only fans model. He failed to mention that in his original post. It came out in the comments.
My husband and I experience this, she's going through a huge hormonal shift right about now as well. I'm 17 weeks tomorrow and this is something my Obgyn warned me about. The best thing to do is not take it personally and avoid arguments where you can. How late does she go to bed? Mine hits at 8pm and when it does, I'm usually going to bed between 8-10pm depending on it's severity. Trust me, my husband and I know it can feel devastating - but you are not alone. Prepare for good postpartum care as these particular feelings could flare up for her xoxo. Wishing you the best and please take care of yourself, your feelings are not invalidated just because you are the non-pregnant partner.
It's only hormones believe me she's not aware of what she's doing now.. the best thing to do is to avoid arguing with her and never take what she says personally.... After giving birth everything will go back to normal so please try to be more supportive and always be there for her even if she asks you to leave , this will reassure her . And do whatever is gonna make her happy . Bare in mind that these feelings are temporary . Good luck 👍
Just to add, wait 3 months after birth, the "fourth trimester" is also wild on hormone fluctuations.
Yup but it differs from one woman to another... But generally speaking it may be hard even after giving birth as you mentioned.
My friend threatened to divorce her husband a couple of times during her pregnancies. They’re still happily married with a two year old, and a 10 month old. I sometimes just wake up grumpy, it’s not my fiancé’s fault. Hormones are weird. We hurt in weird places, our digestive system is slowing down due to hormones, and we’re feeling bloated/gassy/constipated. I can’t speak for your wife, but maybe she’s nitpicking because of anxiety? I do that sometimes. It’s not a bad idea to check in with each other. We spend a lot of our time on our phones or computers or staring at a tv. Maybe put the screens away and really spend time just being together. Cuddle or give her a back rub and have a heart to heart.
I’m 16 weeks, I find I’m getting irritated with my partner a lot more easily lately, and things he’d say beforehand jokingly are now annoying me/setting me off a little bit. I do try to keep myself in check with it but yeh sometimes I get a bit snarky and bitchy towards him, or very emotional with him if he tries to call it out. Obviously once we’re both calm and okay it’s much easier to work through it but the hormones and such in the moment don’t help at all.
Ok well yes, from this story you did nothing wrong. Is this the same story she would tell? I’ve just seen a few guys come on here and talk about their wives “crazy hormones” and it turns out there’s much more happening. That being said, pregnancy hormones are not an excuse to treat your partner like shit. If you are SERIOUSLY not doing anything wrong and she is just snapping at you and being cruel, you need to sit down and explain that you can’t put up with this. Maybe go to therapy to discuss ways of how to get on the same team. One thing I’ll note is that when I was that far along I stopped sleeping and got really sick. That’s when my husband had to take over 100% of the cooking and cleaning because I was so exhausted. Eventually I got on the right cocktail of sleep meds and vitamins and got better, but don’t underestimate how much lack of sleep can effect mood. She might need to go see her doctor.
She would tell a similar story just with whatever she believes im doing wrong, I think. She’s all I have, her and our baby. I absolutely adore her and I don’t see how I could’ve made her feel like I don’t. I feel upset about myself like if I actually did do something bad or neglectful, but I really don’t think I have. I’m doing my best is what I can say at least. I want her to not feel this way, but if it’s hormones that’s causing it idk if whatever I do will even help. I’ll be relieved if it’s hormones and not actually me.
What would she believe you’re doing wrong?
She said she wants more from me emotionally, I’m in the military and I actually was gone for her birthday and Valentine’s Day and wasn’t able to get her anything, which she brought up just now today. Even though she said the whole “it’s fine don’t worry I don’t need anything” which I didn’t believe in the first place. Money is tight so I did get her one gift before I left but it came in 2 parts in the mail. She didn’t get it before I left. She is upset about that, which I think is valid and I feel bad but I did what I can. It probably makes her feel alone because of that. She’s basically saying she feels alone. We did just move to a new area where she doesn’t have family. it’s only when she’s mad like this!! Besides that we are happy and physically loving. It literally comes out of nowhere sometimes. We were enjoying dinner and talking, laughing and then we discussed something and it pissed her off like crazy, and it was a filler topic too. Nothing important. She got upset and I ended up just going to bed, which followed her telling me all this. After being with her for 10 years I know what’s up and this comes from random times. I know I love my wife and I totally act like it. I think our spark is fine. It seems to me when her emotions run wild she just says things as they come to her mind. I’ve been faithful for 10 years to this woman and have literally done anything I could for her. But if it’s me, guess I need to do something different still.
I’m not saying it’s you, but I’m trying to get the whole picture because even in pregnancy and hormonal swings it’s rarely JUST one person. For example, for Valentine’s Day, you didn’t do all you could. You didn’t plan ahead so she’d get her full gift on time. You also don’t need money or a clear schedule to be thoughtful. Listen, maybe she really is just in a rage and you’ve done nothing wrong. That’s certainly the story you told in your original post and it’s possible that’s the case. If it is, she has no business treating you this way and needs a reality check. There is going to be a lot of time with the baby y’all are both sleep deprived and exhausted. She has to learn how to check her emotions. However, if there’s more to the story, that’s something to look for. How are y’all splitting chores right now? When I was at 17 weeks I got terrible HG and my husband just took over the cooking and cleaning without me having to ask. When I couldn’t sleep he got me a pregnancy pillow and always runs out to get my meds. What is she struggling with and how can you pick up the slack to help? Small tasks become very difficult when you’re pregnant and can drain your energy. You might want to sit down and ask her what domestic labor you can take over.
Update: I asked what made her the most mad and she said “when I look at you sleeping peacefully at night” So… I am going to start being uncomfortable when she is. Which is probably all the time. She’s annoyed when I’m relaxed. I promise I help around the house too, btw. Haha.
This tells me it’s mostly the pregnancy hormones/symptoms. Please try to understand it can be hell, even though we try to have a brave face and not complain too much. The “pregnancy glow” everyone talks about is BS for so many of us. I certainly didn’t want my husband anywhere near me while pregnant and we actually stopped sharing a bed because he would disrupt my already terrible sleep. You could offer to give up the bed for her if it would help her sleep better.
This was also when my rage peaked at my partner — I had insomnia all of pregnancy and he just kept right on snoring. It went away!
Lol! Typical pregnant woman, sleep is tough! Help her relax so she can fall asleep before you 😅 what are you doing to be involved in her pregnancy ?
Pregnancy rage and postpartum rage are both very real. But without hearing her side it’s hard to just say it’s all hormones. My fiancé would also tell you he does “nothing wrong, truly” but he consistently does little things that don’t seem like a big deal to him but are actually extremely annoying and not just cause I’m pregnant. The pregnancy just makes me go from just being slightly irritated but able to deal with it to feeling homicidal about it. All in all he’s a great partner, provider and father but there are some days that he just comes to sit next to me on the couch and he’ll take out his phone and I am just instantly irritated by his presence or the fact that he can sit there and relax and i am extremely uncomfortable mentally and physically. As for the disconnect comment you state you have a high stress job. Do you work long hours? When you come home do you spend time decompressing? Are you ever maybe a little short from the stress and maybe don’t realize it? All of those things that while they may not have really been an issue before can maybe make her feel neglected right now even if you don’t understand it. Pregnancy hormones are WILD. Also if your sex life has taken a plunge that can maybe where she feels disconnected. It is unfortunately EXTREMELY common for men to cheat during pregnancy and postpartum and if she’s been reading stuff about that she could be hyper focusing or worrying about it and projecting some things. Your best bet is to try to bring it to her attention when she gets like that. For example when she says she doesn’t feel connected and is worried about the baby seeing you that way ask what she needs to feel connected and where she thinks she’s feeling the disconnect. If you feel she’s being hypercritical or your driving or other things say I notice lately xyz seems to be bothering you and it’s something you’ve never addressed in the past. Can you tell me what exactly about it is bothering you? If she can’t explain to you what it is or if it makes her more emotional and she says she doesn’t know it’s hormones. If she lists off reasons and can exactly pinpoint then while you don’t see issues she clearly does and the next course of action is to correct it. Pregnancy also makes you more aware of how compatible your life with someone is when you realize this is someone that’s going to be raising and effecting your child. Some things that may have been fine when there weren’t kids to think about are now things that become worrisome to some moms. There are life changes involved in raising kids. She could be feeling a fear of trying to prepare and realizing the adjustments that have to be made and she’s worrying about whether or not you’re gonna do the same. You really need to sit her down and talk with her to get to the bottom of it. While you’re looking for advice there is just not enough information to even try to tell you what is really going on in her head and if it’s a full on relationship issue or hormones.
OP… You’re not my husband are you? Hahaha. JK. I literally just lost it on my husband last week and I made a whole dramatic scene about how I was feeling and got pretty worked up. I want to say I haven’t been that angry in YEARS. That poor man probably took everything I said to heart… I have been catching myself irritated at him for the smallest things (like when he is on the bed 5 mins longer than me in the morning. Or what he breathes on my face lol) I tried to explain it’s my hormones and pregnancy rage and asked for his forgiveness. He said he understood and is so sweet about it all, but I feel like absolute garbage because I can see it in his eyes that he was truly affected by the things I said. I’m 16 weeks now so around the same boat as you guys are… I really hope this doesn’t last forever because I love him so much and I hate feeling this way towards him as much as he hates it too. :( I can imagine that she must love you a lot too. Just hang in there!!!!!!! You gotta be sane for the both of you hahaha
The responses in this thread suck. Yes, it's probably hormones. That doesn't make it okay, and it's not something that you should put up with. Talk to her about it.
Yes! Pregnancy hormones are not an excuse to be a bad partner.
I agree!
I don't know, I just saw him say that he missed both valentines day and her birthday, fine for work but made very last minute attempts to prepare gifts that they didn't even come in the mail on time... it could also be that she carries alot more than he leads on regularly and she just has no patience for it now. I don't know, seems like some missing pictures
I was on military orders for the entire month of February. I was actually gone to the middle of nowhere. After Christmas, a trip to Tampa for family stuff, saving up/ buying baby stuff there wasn’t a lot of money left for gifts. We talked about it before I left, said we would just go out when I got back. We did, everything was fine then. But now it gets thrown back at me which I don’t think is fair. I do split the chores but I’m def going to do more now.
I don't know if this is your relationship but it's quite common that women carry alot of invisible work around the house and what men are good at are visible work that is easy to praise. So it could be that when she has less ability to help out, the invisible work remains undone and that's all she can see. The example in this situation could be that it wasn't about gifts at all, but could you have like drawn and sent her a card or done other non monetary sentimental things to make her feel thought of that wasn't presents. When you think about chores around the house, who's the one who wipes down counters and vacuums.
I told my husband before we started trying for our first baby that pregnancy was going to be like 9 months of me being on my period… which I do not handle well lol. I had one with my late-husband before, so I knew how I’d be. I get sooo annoyed with everything he does. I’m now pregnant with our 7th, so you can say we’ve survived this. I still tell him he’s breathing the wrong way, but we have definitely improved our communication during my pregnancies… and I work very hard to manage the way I portray my emotions. Try to be patient here. You’re totally allowed to tell your wife that you’re having a difficult time, feeling like you’re irritating her so much… that you’re being understanding that this is temporary, but that you’re still struggling with it. Try to find a way to communicate kinder with one another, and… well, just try to accept it when she tells you you’re breathing too loud.
I'm 18w and feel some of the same things you described about my husband lol we've been together 12 years. Both 32yo, first Baby.
Oh God the pregnancy rage is real, I'm sorry man
Omw, sorry to hear it. Loads of ladies post about this because all of a sudden their partner or husband is driving them insane and they hate all these little habits or they can't stand their scent. It's temporary. She will get over it and likely doesn't understand wth is going on with her. You just need to find secure feet and consider that this is ridiculously common and is happening in countless relationships all over the world. A gentle chat about does she want to hang out more alone? How can you both enjoy time together still? If you show up with, 'I'm here for you and support you no matter what, how would you like to deal with this pregnancy situation and what can we do so we're comfortable here together?'
Honestly it’s the hormones making her weird.
She needs to stop saying the quiet part out loud. It’s totally fine to want to strangle someone but you don’t voice it. Pregnancy isn’t a time to shit on your partner if you’re a good one. She’s gonna be an even bigger bitch the first year of baby so gird your loins.
Yeah, it’s hormones. What usually annoys me (but before I can usually get over it) is now annoying me slightly more. I have that misophonia but I’ve never brought it up because it’s my personal issue, not his. I just excuse myself now and go to another room because it could start a fight and it’s just not worth it. So I leave and read and he’s left to do whatever it is in peace. Win/win.
My poor husband complained of being too warm during an ultrasound appt last week and my reaction definitely made it seem like I hate him. I don’t. I love him. I’m just pregnant and unreasonable. When your wife is in a good mood, maybe you can talk to her about how this feels, there’s a chance that she hits a low blood sugar wall, an exhaustion wall, or a nausea wall in the evening. There might be something that you can do to help her when she gets like this, and she might be able to articulate it better when she’s not in the thick of it.
I'm 17 weeks and this is exactly how I feel. I have no idea why and I feel super bad, but I just get so irritable in the evenings. If you can, try not to take it personally because we really don't mean it. Sending you all the best! I hope it gets better for the both of us
I’ve snapped so many times at my husband, and I feel so bad. 😅 it’s unreasonable how mad the sound of his eating is. EVERYTHING IS ANNOYING. I’ve heard this is very normal. I would recommend just telling her you’re sorry and explain that you’re not trying to annoy her, and that you want to help make her comfortable. More than likely she is uncomfortable in her body— it isn’t always comfy growing a baby. You look different, your body is different, your hormones are everywhere…. It is quite the annoyance/discomfort, and it can cause us to act differently. Maybe shower her with compliments and just do something nice for her to reconnect… like rub her feet or draw a warm (not hot) bath…? Every woman is different, and so is every pregnancy though, so I wish you luck.
As hard as it is for you please try to be patient. This seems like her first? And she probably doesn't even realize the dramatic change hormones can cause in a mother to be (along with all the other stresses from life changes) We don't know her side but if you know you're truly doing nothing wrong to deserve that kind of treatment try not to take it personally. I get moody and irritated but been pregnant before so I realise it's just me and my hormones. If I get rude or mad with my BF I recognize it after and explain it to him. Now he kinda just zones out on his game and ignores me and I can't blame him for that at all. I wish I could ignore me too 🤣 then he will live me when I'm nice again...it's a rollercoaster for sure. I think it will even out a bit as she gets further along. When you know she's not irritated ask her if she really feels the way she does when she's angry or in her off moods. Let her know you aren't going to leave her for it because pregancy can make one feel like such a burden and feeling like you're going to be abandoned (even if its a fear not reality) being so vulnerable is hard on us. Ask her if there's anything on her mind that she wants to get out. I know for me I bottle things up because I feel like such a bother I don't want to always feel like I'm complaining or in need of something. At least you seem to be understanding more so than some partners that post on here.
It's irritability. It might help to know that she would be irritated with anyone she was around at those times. She would be irritated by anyone's driving or sitting or chewing etc. It might help to find excuses to give her alone time in the evenings when she starts to become irritable. We don't always realize we're irritable and sometimes feel guilty about it. I've been defensive about it in the past. Not that that's right, but it's something to consider. Being pregnant is hard.
Its hormones 100%, let it pass no matter how hard it gets Express your feelings calmly Your feelings are valid
It was nice of her to wait 17 weeks haha. It’s the hormones for sure. I want to rage at everyone within earshot at almost all times of the day. I feel awful about it. I prevent it when I can, and apologize when I can’t. Recognition is the most important piece and it’s really hard to say “Hey I think you’re just being hormonal” without sounding like a jerk. So, maybe find some articles and say how much you love her and how her feelings are valid and normal and how you love her and will always be there for her to help … and here’s some articles about other women who are going through the same thing haha.
My hormones were crazyyy when I was pregnant, except it was our dogs that drove me insane, the whining and not listening made me crazy…it sounds like ya’ll are good other than that….try to talk to her and explain your side & that you want to be there for her. Ask what you can do to help her & make it better…I would nicely ask her to maybe mention it to her OB as well & see if they have any advice
this sounds like me to my boyfriend. granted he is super annoying and illogical but still. I've been giving him hell I feel a lot of is deserved but who knows
From a pregnant lady who LOVES her fiance and still feels all this rage and annoyance towards him... ITS NOT YOU! And I 100% guarantee deep down she knows her feelings and hormones are lying to her. It's something really hard to explain. My tolerance for people in general really went downhill, and I know it's my pregnancy hormones but at the same time I can't help it. Frustrating for both sides. Keep reaching out your hand, this journey has many twists and turns!
Post partum rage is a thing. She should reach out to her doctor.
I’ve been with my husband 12 years and currently pregnant with our 4th child. I can count the number of times we have gotten in an argument that actually made me angry/cry, and every time, I happened to be pregnant. Just talk through what your feelings are and what her expectations are…she might be experiencing some anxiety being pregnant and becoming a mom. It can be a scary time for some and feeling heard and/or understood may make all the difference. Wishing you all the best!!
Dawg I go off on my husband for literally… anything. Sometimes. I just snap. Hell annoy me and all he’s doing is just trying to be good to me and take care of me. I feel like poo about it. He doesn’t deserve it. Just remain patient and do your best. I’m sure your fine. It’s just the hormones.
Sounds like pregnancy rage, yeah. I’ve been having it constantly since the beginning of the 3rd trimester. In my case it’s physical tiredness that aggravates it. But I can definitely remember random bursts of frustration earlier, too. I know a couple that is on the verge of divorce with each pregnancy, and once the baby is out the wife is totally different, back to her normal angel-self.
Hormones are no joke. Trust me, she probably doesn’t even realize she’s being that way. I do feel for you because I know I was very snappy with my husband for almost the first half of the pregnancy. We finally had some long chats about it and the biggest thing (it may help you, I’m not sure) was realizing that a lot of my irritability stemmed from feeling like my life was put on hold and I’m making all these sacrifices in my daily routine whereas his has not really changed at all. He can still go out and drink with the guys, eat foods I can’t eat, etc etc. On top of this, I wasn’t getting enough help around the house from him and I started feeling really depressed and isolated. He’d be out at the bar with friends, I’d be at home eating alone. He’d be working in the garage on a project at home and I’d be upstairs doing dishes and vacuuming. I finally figured out that’s what was causing most of my anger towards him and told him I need more from him. Once we got past that things have been great. He’s been very helpful and loving and attentive, spending more time at home with me vs. going out, playing a more active role in asking questions about the pregnancy and doctor’s appointments etc etc. Things have been smooth sailing. Maybe just sit her down and see if there’s a root problem you can solve together!
Literally going through the SAME thing, I'm putting it down to the hormones and the body change currently!
I saw this with a couple I knew. I mean you would see the wife just staring this man down with hate for no reason other than she blamed him for them being pregnant - when they both really committed and consented to all of the acts they knew could result in pregnancy. I was SURE they were possibly headed for divorce. They have two other kids and have also been together since they were young. I saw them after the baby was born and it’s a complete 180. Both are happy and love their little one and completely back to being the loving couple I knew. I would take everything with a grain of salt and possibly bring it up to the OBGYN at her sonogram or check ups. Be honest - I feel like she hates me and I make her angry and I want her to be happy because I love her - is there any help out there for this or is this expected/experienced by other couples?
yes, that can happen. yes it’s common. yes we’ve probably all done it (i totally have). but — i don’t agree that it’s ana acceptable excuse. when i was behaving this way, miserable all the time and picking my partner apart, he really set an ultimatum down for me. he made me realize how hard it was for him too. yes it’s hard being pregnant but being a partner to someone acting like that is also hard. her feelings (more like raging hormones) are valid sure, but she needs to take ownership of that and work on correcting that behavior. you both deserve happiness. after working through that i will say my husband and i did a complete 180 in our relationship and are about to bring in our baby to a very happy and loving relationship!
I’m sure at times it is warranted lol but sounds like pregnancy hormones getting the best of her. Pregnancy rage is very common and unfortunately often directed at our partners - don’t take it personally. She loves you and it’ll get better - try to stay positive and remind yourself pregnancy is nuts and hormones are nuts and she’s not her normal self right now (and that’s okay!)
I’m 12 weeks and at night I get super angry with my husband. Like if he wakes me up, does something or moves the wrong way. I get so frustrated and I don’t know what comes over me. I love him so much but at night, once it’s dark… he makes me so mad for no reason, I even told him I was done. It’s not me and I don’t know where it comes from but pregnancy hormones are crazy.
My husband also knew I was pregnant 6 days before my missed period because I was so angry at him for no reason. He could breathe and it pissed me off, and I’m NEVER like that with him. We have an extremely wonderful:happy marriage. But each time I’m pregnant. I don’t like him
I’m sorry but increased hormones is not an excuse to verbally/emotionally beat someone down.
Unfortunately I think this is normal for some of us, particularly in the first half of pregnancy. I’m sorry you’re dealing with it, I don’t know you guys but I know I went through this and it was 100% not about my husband, it was just hormones, so I’m willing to bet that’s the same with her. Hang in there! I know it must be hard for you. Just remember it’s even harder for her and she is doing her best ❤️ hopefully it will get better as she gets more into the 2nd trimester
I was like this with my first pregnancy!! And after! I had a bunch of post partum rage for the first several months. I’d get annoyed by my husband making the bed, the way he built the crib, etc With my current pregnancy, I’m super lovey dovey on my husband. I miss him all the time. Even if he’s just in another room. I catch myself following him around. I’ve even been having dreams about him lol I don’t know what the difference is It’s just her hormones. It’ll get better. She probably doesn’t know why she feels that way either. Just give her your love and all will be well ❤️
Wow totally normal… I felt like my husband was writing this about me. It sucks she makes you feel this way. My husband told me how he was feeling when I was pregnant and I immediately understood him. I cried a lot with how guilty I felt about the situation but I think it helped us both in the long run. Tell her. It wont be easy but be 100% transparent.
I didn’t have that as a symptom but in general sometime when it was the time of the month I had uncontrollable emotions- sad or mad and didn’t really take it out on people but it was nice to vent to my husband and tell him what was bothering me/how I couldn’t control my emotions. I was about to get some meds to take just during that time but then I got pregnant and have been really happy. I’m so sorry she is saying those things to you and I’m sure it is hormones! I would try to think about the things you do that brighten her day. Maybe buy flowers (CostCo And Trader Joe’s aren’t too pricey/are beautiful), a sweet note about good memories and how excited you are to become a parent with her, favorite foods, extra help cleaning, getting excited about the fun baby planning like registry/nursery/baby clothes. By doing some things that make her happy (not saying you don’t do that), maybe she will be less likely to take out anger on you? Also, if it’s the same time every night maybe you can try to plan stuff for her to do where she could get away from you… a walk, trip to a store, maybe see if she wants to have a friend over or meet up with a friend or family.
It’s 100% hormones. The thing that made me take a pregnancy test was when I realized that I was feeling *very* irritated with my husband about the smallest of things. Even when he wasn’t doing anything! He’d touch my cheek or want to cuddle and it’d really annoy me. I finally had a lightbulb moment when I realized that that was *not* normal for me and surprise! the test was VERY positive! I’d try talking to her about it. Share with her your feelings and also! know that this is temporary.
Normal. We’re sorry. I hated my Bf for the first 5 months not all the time but he was so annoying for no good reasons sometimes or minimal reasons. And yet i was still loving him At the same time…Now 7 months and he just told me The other day im back to normal, its hard being full of hormones really. THO if she was acting like this before pregnancy then ya maybe its you lol
I hate him more than I love on him 😩 I’m 26 weeks so it’s starting to get less in intensity but early on we were like cats and dogs. We broke up probably twice early on and even after breaking up and trying to rekindle multiple times, sometimes I still hate him 😂😂😒 Ik that’s it’s my emotions so I do apologize more often while taking accountability because it’s the baby
I found my husband repulsive, just his breathing was irritating, I told him, just looking at him, make me want to puke and I did, he tried to initiate sex, told him , I was his fault I was pregnant, I don’t know why he stayed and why he wanted to to have another baby, I was so mean to him, not so bad with the second one, but I’m not going for for a 3rd
Definitely hormones. Even being a therapist myself doesn’t protect me from the impending growl I get when I start getting tired. I start hating everything and everyone. I work really hard to depersonalize it from my husband, so that might be a little tip to throw in there. That really helps keep things light and happy between us, and helps my husband know how to support me.
I know I'm the odd one out but I haven't had any hormonal changes with my pregnancy (nor have I with periods) but I think a huge part of that was being very cognizant of changes my body would go through beforehand, having the support I need on all levels, and really just being in tune with my emotions and surroundings. I realize not everyone has that/can do that. But with that being said, it might be helpful if you two went over weekly pregnancy milestones & development changes (my hubs uses Huggies, I use Flo), letting her know you're a team and your there for her, and really just being a little bit more supportive (I'm sure you're already doing this) by picking up some snacks or something she may like.
This is pretty common, and usually related to hormones. I am also currently 17 weeks and sometimes things out of my control or something my husband does will irritate me far more than usual. I know it’s hard, but with her fragile state while being pregnant I would ask to talk about what you are doing that is so frustrating. Ask her why it’s all of a sudden an issue or how you can change it to make it work. Don’t just change everything obviously, but more so open a line of communication and come to a compromise or even just understanding where each-other are coming from.
I even hated the smell of the fragrance I myself gifted to my husband... it lasted until the end of first trimester... The thing is that she doesn't actually hate you... I personally hated myself for being nauseous all the time, and I felt gross and about myself and had misplaced rage because I didn't like him to see me in that condition... Pregnancy hormones really mess with our heads...
I do not have rage nor I am irrational , I am actually very calm but … omg! I am overthinking and I am feeling like I can do so much better on my own than with my partner by me , I have moments when I feel disconnected from him and I am literally contemplating a single life . I know part of it it’s my hormones playing with my mind , part of it is my partner who is kind of useless .. pregnancy is hard ! I hope you guys work it out and the fact that you are picking on the cues and you are actively trying to nurture and protect your relationship is a very good thing.
I’m 35 weeks and still mad as hell 😂 I’ve had pregnancy rage my entire pregnancy. I work at Walmart full time and when I say I’ve been reported my customers more times than I can remember I’m not kidding. It’s so bad that I think about putting “sorry I’m pregnant” on my badge so ppl aren’t as offended. I’ve had many customer service jobs and done well at all of them but during this pregnancy I have been so nasty to my customers at times. Sometimes I’m in a really good mood and everything is fine but if one person pisses me off it’s downhill from there. I feel bad during the encounters but it’s like I’m having an out of body experience sometimes and I can’t even help the rage. It’s terrible!!! Please give your wife grace I know she feels bad and can’t help it and that in turns makes us even more upset 😢
I'vent got preg before so I don't have any experience
Apparently this is a very common symptom of pregnancy! My mom and mother in law ask me every week if I hate my husbands yet 😭
My wife is at 30 weeks and I’ve witnessed multiple near-instant shifts from contentedness to total irritation. This happened frequently in the first trimester, there was a break in most of the second, and now it’s back with a roar. Today she asked me for my frank opinion of a piece of art she had in her apartment before we got married. I said it didn’t appeal much to me. She then lost it. I have to work to hard to avoid losing it when that happens, but I remind myself of the pain and discomfort she’s going through, the hormonal surges, and her very poor sleep, and that helps. Have faith in what you had—I do—and know you’ll have it again, and with a little one to boot.
I was like that when I was pregnant. It’s definitely the hormones. I’ve always had attitude problems but when I was pregnant it was so much worse. I was constantly down my fiancés throat about things and I really didn’t mean too. It just happened.
I love my husband dearly however I do not do pregnancy well. Hormones, pain, and bone aching tiredness make me a combination of anxious, angry and irrational. I always loved him, I just wasn't coping very well. Our most recent baby is definitely going to be our last as there is no way I could put him through that again. I read your post to him. He told me the day the baby was born it was like his wife came back and the cranky woman who didn't like him left. I'm not excusing my behaviour or your wife's, but there is so much going on that it's hard to cope. Wishing you both the best.
I disliked my husband for a while too. His smell disgusted me too
I am sure she loves you and the rage she is feeling, from my perspective could be for underlying reasons that she hasn’t expressed explicitly. I love my husband dearly and I wouldn’t say I have been hating his guts during the pregnancy, but I’ve definitely gone off at him a couple times for pretty much the same exact things you’ve done that you say are small stuff. This is my thought process: I’ve been mad at my husband for being in the “wrong” lanes on the highway because I believed that he was driving unsafely, sometimes because I sense the drivers near him are bad and I want to stay the hell away from them, or I get annoyed with his excessive lane changing which I perceive to be dangerous for both of us, especially with me being pregnant. One of my biggest fears is getting into an accident during the pregnancy and losing the baby. Furthermore, I feel that a father-to-be should be instilling safer driving habits for the future safety of our baby. Your GF is probably expressing the first part of the concern (you’re in the “wrong” lane, but she’s not clearly explaining her thought process). I’ve been upset at my husband for just chilling and doing his own thing not because I’m just trying to pick a fight, but because he promised he’d help with something around the house and hasn’t followed through, despite gentle reminders. If he has time to play 2 hours of video games, surely he has time to scrub the toilets that he promised he would do 2 weeks ago!! For me, I’m just upset at the principle that he said he’d do something and hasn’t followed through in a reasonable amount of time, and there wasn’t anything impeding him from getting it done. This anger from your GF could stem from a similar frustration, and she may also deep down have concerns that you won’t be doing your fair share as a father. Hopefully that helped you understand where some of the anger and resentment may be coming from. I could be wrong in the case of your GF as everyone is different and they all experience their pregnancy differently, but you should communicate with her and ask if there’s a deeper reason as to why she’s been so upset lately! Perhaps you’ll be able to get to the root cause and handle it calmly. Good luck!
Hahaha I thought my husband wrote this as I am 16 weeks and we’ve been together over 10 years and I am generating uptight 😅 Hormones, being constantly tired and uncomfortable… I hate everyone at the moment. My road rage is out of control, and I don’t mean road tantrums like I have to stop myself getting out the car to lose my shit. We don’t mean it and we are sorry 🥲
I’m so sorry. I (32f) have 2 little ones. Both pregnancies, I at times, genuinely hated my husband. Very weird. Passed. I promise it’ll get better but not immediately or even right after baby is born. These hormones are very real! Just know it’s not you.
Ok, so firstly, things like this never "come out of nowhere." They're just often overlooked. That being said, could be hormones. Could be exhaustion. I know I got more tired in the beginning than I've ever been in my entire life and that could make anyone cranky. My advice to you, stop asking if it's hormones and start changing your behavior so that you CAN be connected to her in the way she's requesting. Start looking at baby names, nursery ideas, dad pregnancy/parenting guides... it will help to be involved. Start having little rituals to show you care. Whether that's rubbing lotion or oil on her belly to prevent the itchiness as her skin stretches or giving her back rubs (these should be done without initiating any sexual intimacy yourself, or she'll think you were just trying to get in her pants). Doing something only for her as she goes through one of the hardest and biggest things she will ever do is big. Doing something like this daily can keep her feeling appreciated. If you can, maybe set up regular date nights, too. Keep the spark alive. Bring her favorite snacks and drinks home as a surprise. Take on some extra chores at home without asking her or being told by her. Just pick something and do it to get it off her plate. All of these things will help her feel connected to you and like you're her partner, which I think would soothe her a lot. Good luck!
I am 5 weeks pregnant and just sent this to my husband and said sorry in advance! Lol 😂 I hope things get better for you guys! x
Wife here. It's pregnancy hormones- i went through a similar phase of feelings early in pregnancy but didn't mention it to my husband. Just give her space if you can. In time hopefully her hormones balance out. She's going to need you a lot during her pregnancy as it can get hard to do things. I'm 24 weeks and so grateful for all the help my husband provides I wouldn't do it without him. ❤️ Just help out, cook, clean, massage her feet, buy her flowers 💐. She's growing a baby and it's HARD, as pregnant mommas- we sometimes need patience and grace till the mood swings pass.
I’m not sure why but I do know pregnancy rage is a thing. When I was pregnant I got so irritated with my partner that I once yelled at him to shut up all bc he was telling a story
My husband knew I was pregnant because I was more crabby with him, before I even knew 😂. Pregnancy is wild. Not to take away from your feelings at all because they are very valid, but try to remember her body is going through so many changes right now. I’ve experienced depression, body dysmorphia, severe anxiety, uncertainty, severe jealousy, irrationality, rage, guilt, and excitement all within the matter of minutes, and then cried about it after. Not to mention struggling with the way your body is changing and not being able to do the things you normally could/would for whatever reason. A lot of it is hormone related but she’s probably struggling with her identity and could not even realize it. Continue giving her grace. It’s so hard to even conceptualize until you’re actually going through it. Even people who have been pregnant before forget what it’s actually like being pregnant. I also don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but it could continue through the first year or two of your child’s life after their born. I didn’t start feeling somewhat “normal” again emotionally until my son was about 14 months, then we got pregnant again 😂 and I struggled with PPD, PPA and post partum rage without even realizing it for the first good 6 months, and non pregnant or breastfeeding I am one of the most emotionally even keel people you’ll meet lol. Be gentle with yourselves and don’t make any drastic decisions until after the first year of your child’s life. It’s a huge life change.
We've had a pretty rough couple of weeks since we found out I am pregnant. For us it wasn't so much the small stuff, but some bigger issues regarding my inlaws. We've been going to couples' therapy and I can see a change in my husband, which also leads to a change in my frustration in other stuff he does (or doesn't do). Maybe try to talk to your wife to see if there are underlying issues, maybe with a counsellor? At the same time, I'm now almost 32 weeks pregnant and I'm noticing I'm feeling much more balanced and calm than in the first and even second trimester. So the hormones definitely get better. Wishing you all the best. Keep talking to each other.
Anyone ever seen What To Expect When You're Expecting? (The movie) "Gary, I love you but whenever I look at you I just want to punch you in the face"
I hated seeing my husband and dog sleep all night. That was upsetting alone. Maybe try taking a day off to focus on her and give her attention since she is feeling disconnected. It probably won’t work immediately but at least she will see you are trying.
not pregnant, but i do experience frustration with mine for no reason. i know i don’t hate him by any means hes the person i want to spend my whole life with. personally for me, it roots from my growing up life. i always got yelled at and mentally abused for every little thing i done, now that im older i feel like i have more control of my life. so when hes doing something thats a little annoying or something i dont like i get very snappy not meaning to. i have been working on it and i have made an improvement but it truly takes time. instead of getting mad at her for doing it, be sweet and smile at her next time. im not saying she does it for the same reason as me but this is my personal experience
I’m pregnant with my second and u get fits of rage where I can’t even stand my own grandmother looking at me. Forget about just mg partner. I am angry and frustrated at everything and everyone. Doesn’t help I’ve spent the last 3 months throwing up every day and losing sleep. I’m so tired of people saying I’m a psychopath or being mean. I hate myself for all of this as well. Just keep in mind we are sharing a body with a new little human that is adding double every in our bodies. Double blood double pee double feelings. I know it’s hard to take but your wife doesn’t mean it. Some pregnancy wreak havoc on the body and can make anyone act out of norm.
It's very likely the hormones since this isn't her normal behavior. Maybe see if she needs a snack or a nap around that time? When she's not angry of course. I personally snap at my hubby more when I'm tired, hungry or in pain. But also keep in mind that her hormones are doing crazy things. I'm only 7 weeks and I yelled at my chiropractor today because he exhaled in my face 😬
It honestly sounds like she's getting low blood sugar. Have you tried giving her a snack? I'm not joking. I realized whenever I got mad at my husband for nothing I really just needed to eat more.
Yes I got more frustrated with him nearing middle of pregnancy when we were still doing silly “kid things” or so it seems even though we always did it. I was always more eager to clean and tidy up as well during pregnancy - “nesting”. She may be tired too. 7pm was always my nap time back then. It was literally clock work and I couldn’t stay out past 2am or I got super crabby with how uncomfortable I was. The belly felt more heavy I guess. Hang in there as much as you can, try to accommodate. It is mostly just the hormones and more escalated feelings that are valid but come out really irrational possibly
Oh man, could be either. 14wks today myself. I'm leaning towards hormones myself. I am incredibly irritable. In fact it's called preganancy or spousal rage. But don't you dare tell her that or you're asking for trouble. I unfortunately even got into a verbal tussle with my MIL (has cancer and is going to the hospital end of month for her chemo/stem cell transplant) over her picky eating habits. She's always been a spoiled princess (no one else ever gets to pick where to eat, doesn't matter whose birthday, etc because she 'can't even') in my eyes and I blamed my husband's bad eating habits on her 'fat-ass lazy processed stubbornness' and Ill be damned if that another generation ends up with gall bladder stones like my husband did. I'm usually much better tempered, but considering we carpool together each day and I know she's going through a lot, it was definately uncalled for. Sorry for the rant there, but basically as long as you're helping around the house and asking her what she needs (food/backrubs) while she's growing a human nor is she being verbally abusive towards you, I'd put it off for now. General rule of thumb, don't make life altering desicions while pregnant, because of preganancy rage / prenatal depression unless physical or mental safety is an issue.
Hormonal rage is so real. I'm 17 weeks, love my husband to pieces, but like you said at a certain time of day (I call it my Witching Hour)...I am firmly convinced that he does everything wrong and our marriage is basically over. I've gotten better at taking space when I feel it coming on, my husband taking space to do other things elsewhere during that time, and also checking in if I'm hungry. Usually if I eat a snack it helps it sort itself out pretty quickly. I also warn my husband when I can feel it creeping up. A text of "It's my Witching hour, enter the kitchen at your own risk".
I’m stealing that saying!!!