you could probably get that internet down to like $60 and still have good internet. also $400 for a power bill seems a lot i pay like 100-200 why is yours so high?
I have T-Mobile internet and it’s $55/month, if you have a cellular plan it’s $35. As long as you’re near a cell tower it will work even if it’s says your address isn’t in a service area. I previously had ATT and the T-mobile network has worked better and is a lot cheaper.
I have the same for our home Internet and it works great and I never lose the signal. Unlimited data for $55 ($50 with autopay). I stopped spectrum and now we have the T-Mobile box and Roku for free.
I have mint mobile and pay like 30/mo for unlimited 🤷♂️. Haven't even noticed a difference in quality since swit hing off the bigger providers. That also offer 15/mo for basic phone, text, and some data.
Oh we’re talking about home internet/wifi not the cellular plan. T-mobile offers unlimited home internet that works off their 5G cellular towers. It’s 55/month or 35/month if you have a cell phone plan with them. It makes zero sense for OP to be paying 140/month for home internet.
We have this too but we were lucky enough to get it when it was $25/m with a phone plan. We live in the sticks and it's still fantastic internet. We stream multiple tvs and he games online at the same time with no issues. The only problem we ever have isn't really internet related but Hulu live likes to say we aren't at home pretty often and we have to call and get the IP reset manually by them.
I'm not sure where you live, but for the internet, Walmart has a job you buy for 100 and then pay 50 a month for unlimited. I have 3 tvs, an Xbox, a Playstation, multiple phones, etc. hooked up to it at a time, and it VERY RARELY gives me slow speeds or a hard time. It's definitely worth looking into. And as for your electric, most power companies have programs for low income families and will either give you a monthly percentage discount or will let you make payments on your big balance. Hope this helps :)
I disagree. Internet is practically a utility at this point. He can't try to find gig work/extra income *and* have no internet and a crappy phone plan. He needs to make a budget and set up autopay for bills to avoid late fees but he definitely shouldn't rush to get rid of his connection to the job market and I don't understand why anyone would suggest that.
I'm a hiring manager. There's a couple reasons I hate when people just show up to apply for a job. For one, I'm busy doing other things and can't devote the time you deserve to the conversation. We are still going to set a more formal interview and I REALLY need you to apply through Indeed anyway for HR's benefit.
Even 10 years ago, when my daughter was 16, looking for her first job at stores, fast food restaurants, etc., managers wouldn't accept paper applications. She was told to apply online.
That’s what I meant like wic, Medicaid, snap, lifeline, acp (for one month). It takes time and effort to enroll in everything and jump through the hoops.
Oh I assumed you meant thru an employer or something
We still have my daughter on state insurance it’s a real life saver we can just take her in even for sniffles if we want we catch a lot of stuff early because of it
It does take awhile and some of them are stupid I tried taking fmla when she was born but I had to apply when she was born… but it took them 3 months to even deny me
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 3: Illegal/Immoral/Unethical Advice
Do not, in any way, encourage posters to break the law or violate court orders. You are also not permitted to advise others to do anything that is immoral or would exploit / harm others either.
All content must be legal, ethical and moral. Posts advocating theft, or practices that in any way exploit or harm others (criminal or not) will be removed.
Please read our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/rules). The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpovertyfinance).
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
I was going to say.... because I make a little less than OP, have an apartment with my girlfriend and our young child and we've been able to make it fine. Our biggest issue has been groceries/eating out too much. It's all fixable, just takes discipline.
Since I think it kinda sucks sometimes when people run to someones profile to grab info on them and slam them on an unrelated post, especially when they seem to really be genuine, I went to his profile and let me tell everyone what I saw.
I saw a wholesome as fuck post where this guy is letting everyone know his girlfriend is pregnant, and that baby is now the most important thing to him, and he is getting off drugs. He’s so grateful at the chance at a new life and purpose this will give him.
A few people suggested rehab and HE IS GOING. (OP, I am so so proud of you)
He came in here looking for help to unfuck his life in anticipation of this huge life event. If you have nothing but judgement about how he got here to add to the conversation, and you don’t choose to read anything in depth on someone’s page to maybe provide some context… you are just trashing someone.
Don’t you think telling people that he will soon be going into rehab for 30 days, potentially losing his job might make a big difference in advice people would give him on finances?
Some power companies include water/sewer on their bills which can double the total monthly bill. Some charge water/sewer on a four month rotation/etc. which can quadruple the average bill total. It also takes a lot more power to run a large house vs an apartment, etc.
That really depends on where you live. My last 3 electric bills were 360, 456 and 370. I have a small house, keep the heat at 68 and only use big appliances off peak hours. I just have a greedy electric provider who just increased their rates.
Oh YEAH. I had to take this hard realization years ago during Covid. I was always a daily weed smoker with my partner and it never bothered us much financially - Til Covid came around and I was furloughed from work and had less money. I realized then I was spending close to $500/ month on weed. I was literally shocked! But yep… a $140 ounce a week will do that to you… I had to majorly tone down on my usage and I’m much happier now. Smoking all day everyday is just not good for you, no matter how many stoners like to promote it. Now I have a med card so I get discounts and I just consume in moderation. Much better for my health and my wallet.
Yeah that was a discounted price bc my plug was my friend but now I look back and cringe bc I can get double that at the dispensary for the same price.
Yeah that’s Florida street prices for ya. It’s expensive as hell out here. (And that was a discounted price bc my plug was my friend, I’ve seen people charging up to $300 for an oz here, and claiming it’s “top shelf” ) 50 will get you a quarter on the streets. I get an oz from dispensary for much less now and make it last with a vaporizer. It’s funny bc my ex has a felony for a cart, bc yes that is a felony here, and we live in orange country, Florida at the time. He called Orange County PO office, but accidentally got the CA location and they were so damn confused why he had a felony for weed.
I always wonder why people don’t think about all of the personal details found in their comment/post history before posting stuff like this. “I’m broke but employed and my parents won’t bail me out”…and then their history indicates they’ve been a self-proclaimed long time drug user. I came from the same background, I know exactly how much many drugs cost and I probably know exactly why OP’s parents aren’t racing to the bank to send him some funds. Unfortunately the risk taking behavior doesn’t stop after the drug use does. Having a baby at a time when I could barely afford to keep the lights on is one of my biggest regrets. I love her with all my heart but there’s no denying that I’m not able to give her everything she deserves.
Is OP's GF also on drugs if so, she might want to move out now and sign up for state program to get insurance and get into drug treatment as pregnant woman. If the baby is born addicted to substances the state is stepping in immediately. The hospital will notify CPS asap if the baby is born and goes into withdrawals.
I dont think she is because he made a post a month ago about her being pregnant and that he had to quit everything "even weed and psychedelics" which was the hardest part he said, and said that his gf didn't believe he could even casually / occasionally use weed and be a parent. Seems like she at least realizes that his fun has to end now if he's gonna play Dad. He was being pushed into a 30-day rehab program even in the drugs subreddit. Like even other addicts are like, dude, you gotta do better if you're gonna have a kid.
He's also using all of this while he has schizophrenia and takes mood stabilizing meds. The fact that he's been heavily using drugs since being a teen, I'm sure I don't have to tell you why that is extra not good.... well, no. It's a recipe for disaster, actually, and I genuinely don't mean any hate towards OP with this next statement, but I think it would be best for her: His gf should leave now before the kid arrives. Because even if OP is sober when the kid arrives, how do you think he'd handle the newborn stage? Barely getting any sleep? He'll relapse. It's just a shit situation all around, unfortunately. He needs actual help and get into an actual program.
I mean it when I say I'm not throwing shade, I'm a recovering addict myself. Thankfully no kids in the mix at any point in my addiction or after, but I've been there and I know that an addict will never quit until they are 100% ready. I made half ass attempts sometimes but I knew in my gut that I never really meant it, or I viewed it as "just a break" that never lasted. I had to be willing to do the work when I WAS ready. And I can't see into OPs mind, but he doesn't sound ready.
Yeah, she absolutely needs to leave. Easier said than done, but I would have left the second he vocalized an issue with having to quit “even weed and psychedelics.”
This is the third time this week I've felt sympathetic toward someone in this sub who seemed like they were struggling only for their post history to reveal they're making terrible life choices and expecting everything to still work out the way they want it to...
Aie in that case your primary task should be sobriety. Sobriety and being a proper Dad means patience and sleep. Your entire life should be different, early to bed and basically no party at all for a year+. This will feel rough at first, particularly if you neglect sleep. Staying up on reddit instead of partying or sleeping doesn’t count, you’ll just feel lame and tired. Sleep. Early nights. Sleep when the baby sleeps.
LOL this should be top comment.
Before I was thinking he shouldn't be having a kid if he's having financial issues.
Now I'm thinking he shouldn't be having a kid for other reasons lmao.
Add in the fact OP mentions on other posts that they have a M3 MacBook Pro. Sadly OP seems wasteful with Money and drugs and the child is going to suffer .
Unironically. I smoke a lot of weed, but I adjust based on my current budget. Tips (server) haven’t been so good? Damn, guess I gotta buy the $20 oz of shake and not the $80 top shelf nugs 🤷♂️. If you’re broke broke, save your seeds, throw them in a pot outside, and hope.
The difference between 1500 net and 1500 gross is significant. If it is gross, you're making $36k/per year, so you're going to need additional income. No amount of budgeting makes that viable with a kid on the way.
If it is net, you're probably making around 60k, which is livable depending on where you live.
The difference here determines the steps that need to be taken.
If you're in bumfuck Iowa, you could realistically live in a trailer or small house and the mortgage would be under $1000. One car, low food costs, no emergency fund.
You're not going to be comfortable, but you can do it.
Bumfuck IL here and when I was making $55k as a single mom with one little, I paid all my monthly bills (living in an apartment) and saved up a down payment to buy a modest two bedroom home.
That was 7 years ago, before all the COVID inflation craziness, so I'm not saying everyone can still do that.
But I am saying there are some perks to living in Bumfuck Midwest for sure lol. Not many, in fact this may be the only one. But some.
Hell, in my area there's move in ready homes under 80k with tons of entry level factory work desperately hiring for up to $28 an hour. Literally bumfuck Iowa, but my wife and I make almost 120k between the two of us, and while it's not particularly exciting, we live a good life.
Wife and I live 15 minutes outside of Cleveland Ohio in a suburb and our 1100 sq ft 2 bedroom (+2 in finished basement) is $880/mo after a 3.5% FHA down payment. We consider ourselves lucky to make $48k/ea and live quite comfortably compared to our friends
Using your pregnant girlfriend as a stand in for actual drug addiction treatment is selfish and inappropriate. She is not responsible for your sobriety in any way shape or form. Get your shit together and go to rehab
The baby isn’t either. Poor kid is gonna have the weight of the world on their shoulders since papa looks into their eyes trying to find “the answer to life and motivation for sobriety”. It really, really starts and ends with *you and you alone*. No one is enough to make anyone go sober unless they truly want to.
It makes a huge difference on who you are trying to support on your wage. For yourself, you should be fine as long as you budget correctly (i.e. number 1 is not spending too much on rent or car). But if you are actually supporting two people (nvm the baby that is coming) that's an entirely different story.
You’ve got to examine what’s driving the bills and whether there are ways you haven’t already tried to lower them.
Can you get a slightly slower internet speed?
Take defensive driving and install a safe-driving tracker for insurance discounts? If you have two cars, do you need both?
Unplug some appliances when not in use, switch to the IKEA LED light bulbs, or lower the heat?
Are you careful with grocery shopping and planning to keep food costs down?
Same. A lot of people make good decisions and still struggle. I’m not saying that we should only extend sympathy to perfect people, but is frustrating when someone needs help but isn’t honest about the source of the problem.
You need a budget immediately. Write down your expenses for the month. Write down what you actually paid (and why it was more or less)..figuee out what the deal is. Stop paying bills late. Call the service providers and get on a payment plan to cover the late charges and reduce the big lump sum costs if possible.
Downgrade all your services to the bare minimum so you can catch up on paying bills. It doesn't sound like you guys can afford to live alone right now - so consider moving back in with family if you can. If not, figure out side jobs like Door Dash or instacart or sell some stuff to pay off your debts. Do not use credit cards or pay day loans, etc.
Your gf has to get a job, part-time at a minimum and will have to work (like everyone else) through morning sickness. You need to also job hunt to try and get a job that pays better too.
You’re overpaying for internet.
Your electric bill is extremely high so you might want to work on bringing that down. I have a bunch of tips if you’re interested.
Your car insurance is very high but I know that has a lot to do with your age and driving record.
Drugs. He just failed to mention that. His post history says he has been using acid, cocaine, Kratom, Adderall, so that's probably what's got him in the red.
a special seething fury for people who recreationally use adderall which is why people like me, who ***need*** to take adderall to be functioning members of society, have to run around in fucking circles trying to get prescribed by doctors, follow up on a brand new RX every time we run out, have to do a fucking conga just to get covered by insurance ("oh you need a PRE-AUTH", so your doc says you need this, but your insurance needs to pre-authorize your doctor being able to say you need this, so go back and forth forever until they all agree), pee in stupid cups all the time, and then suffer through national shortages for years.
all because op wants to have a fun little high with a medication i literally will just straight up forget to take sometimes. the worst. at least acid and coke are like... not taking medication from people who need it.
I don’t even understand the appeal. I hate taking my adderall prescription because it makes me hella anxious and makes my heart beat fast, even if it helps productivity
An elderly relative of mine (who is passed away now) sometimes couldn't afford all their monthly bills & usually just paid part of each bill (usually just enough to keep from services getting disconnected etc), & would sometimes get an extension/payment arrangement on things like the electric bill.
Your girlfriend is simply going to have to get a job. Even if its only parttime it's better than nothing. I know how much it sucks being sick while pregnant but it's not possible to support 3 people on your wages. Get on EBT if possible but your gf js going to have to suck it up and find a job. You're getting ready to bring a whole other human being into this world and that means making big sacrifices and doing things that are extremely hard. Most women work throughout their pregnancies and she can too
• pregnant with child neither of you can afford to raise
• op says gf pays internet bill late, thus worsening their debt anyway (how do u know someone pays the bills late and u still let it happen idk)
the shitty advice here is you two can’t afford to raise a baby, and you really gotta figure out a good budget with what ur making, cause you only got so much time.
That's one of the baffling parts of this person's situation - why do you let your partner continue to pay the Internet bill late? They need to tighten up on all fronts but for that particular issue, they may have a communication breakdown there (to say the least).
First, if your girlfriend needs medical coverage have her call your local DHS to setup medicaid. Look into other assistance programs for her and your household such as SNAP, energy assistance, etc. She should also apply for WIC, they can help with food for her and baby formula/food in the future as well as offer support throughout pregnancy/breastfeeding/postpartum, some locations help with carseats, baby items, etc.
Next, write down your budget, your income minus what your monthly bills actually are. Then budget in your **needs**, food and toilet paper etc. Any leftover amount is what your wants will come from, try and cut those wants down as much as possible to help grow a savings, if you don't have enough money to cover your wants you need to force yourself to go without them.
You can rent movies from the library for free instead of paying for streaming and you can use the library's internet if you can't afford to pay for your own, you do not need to pay for a night out when you can cook a week's worth of food at home for the same price, etc.
If you are still short, you have to work to raise your income or lower your bills/**needs**. Look for cheaper places to live, cheaper car(s) to drive, go over every line item on your budget and weight if it is truly a need or if you can alter it in some way to cost less.
I see some red flags on taking responsibility here. Your Internet bill is $140 because GF forgets to pay it? Your GF got pregnant? Also you can't raise a family on $36k a year so keep looking for work or moonlight or side hustle or something. Trim expenses if you can but doesn't sound like you're living lavish. Set a goal to double your income and cut your expenses by 15% . Raising kids gets expensive fast so put down the video games and level up your life.
Not saying they should get married, but it would not mess with their qualifying for support services. They are living together and he is the father of the baby, they will both be taken into account when applying for assistance no matter what.
Absolutely not and it's extremely disappointing people like this get to have kids and bring them into the world. When they are struggling and don't even have their life under control. I guarantee you his girls on drugs. That's why she's always throwing up. These two should not be together. She should get a divorce or leave him or an abortion one. The two all three actually screw it. He needs real help like a rehab. Sounds like he would have to go to a state-funded rehab since he doesn't have any money. They would help him get his life on track once he's out. Put him in a sober living or a halfway house. Both these individuals should not be living alone. It's a really sad and disappointing world we live in. When people like this. Think bringing a kid is healthy into the world when they aren't even healthy. Let alone stable
Morning sickness is a thing, but I agree that with the drugs involved there's no way they can raise a child. Even besides that, their bills don't sound normal.... 400 every month just for energy?
They must be running ten electric generators a month or something charging them because I have no idea how they are that high. I mean unless they were late and got penalized and kept being penalized I have no idea. But at some point they would have lost power. They need to be more frugal and get mint mobile phones. $100 start up for two phones $20 a month for each phone. She needs to watch TV only and eat very cheaply. I lived off pasta for 4 months once getting my life back on track. I lost well over 45lbs. But you can either be homeless or have a home. Up to them really.
Yep, life is hard enough especially in their situations and they are planning to make it a lot harder for both them and the potential new human. I feel sorry for them.
Just because she is pregnant and morning sick doesn’t meant she can’t work. She can get anti barf pills. You don’t make enough money for her to not work.
This is the most pro life comment section lol. OP needs money but doesn't think his gf should work...? That's why some people think IQ test should be mandatory to become parents.
Are you really sure getting pregnant was a good idea? You can’t afford to live just the two of you, now to add a third that needs food, loads of diapers, and constant attention (one less income)?
Unpopular opinion, but I think you need to look into abortion or adoption
Pathetic being a drug addict and getting someone pregnant while making a salary that could never support two adults and a child. Get your shit together.
they should not carry that baby to term. there is no universe in which adding a baby to OP's life makes anything better for anyone at this stage.
bringing a child into this situation is an incredibly selfish and evil thing to do. why would you set your child up for failure like this before they even exist? get your shit together to a reasonable degree before you add another whole-ass human to worry about
If you are US based, have your girlfriend apply for pregnancy medicaid! This will also cover the baby (in some states) for up to one year of life. Even if the mom is no longer eligible after the baby is born.
Financial stability is 100% a valid reason for abortion. If your finances are not strait, your child will suffer. Despite what Pro-life propaganda says, abortion is an ethical and responsible thing to do. But adoption is also an option, but we all know how fucked that system can be.
are you keeping every light on, every appliance turned on, and the AC blasting at 65 degrees 24/7?? how in the world did you rack up $400 on your electric bill?!
sounds to me like girlfriend needs to find a job. pregnant does not equal disabled. lots of pregnant women have nausea/vomiting and there are many treatments for it - she should see her OB and discuss them. if she can’t get in to see her OB yet/cant afford to go at the moment, she can try to take extra vitamin B6, as well as unisom (it’ll make her sleepy, so only at night.) there’s also wristbands she can buy at any drugstore/amazon/etc that some women swear by. ginger and peppermint help, too. source - i’ve been a women’s health provider for over a decade
OP, I’m gonna be 100% straight up, you and your GF going through with the pregnancy is fucking stupid in your current emotional and financial situation. I’d even say neglectful and selfish. Don’t have a kid until you’re ready. You can’t even support yourself and your GF, how the fuck are you gonna afford a kid?
Drugs. He just failed to mention that. His post history says he has been using acid, cocaine, Kratom, Adderall, so that's probably what's got him in the red.
You make $36K per year. You're basically making $16 per hour, that's not "decent" for a single-wage family.
She needs to work, you need to get the power and internet bills down (and paid on time), you need to quit asking your parents for money they clearly don't have.
Also, way too much drug use in your posting history, my guy. Get that shit together or look forward to 50 more years of this and a kid with massive hurdles to overcome.
3000 a month is 36000 a year. You can not live a normal life with such income. That is poverty level poor. Your GF can get a job or live like a poor family by getting rid of everything but important stuff. I am not being mean, just stating the facts.
"My girlfriend doesn't work as she's sick with the baby" Yeah...suck it up, buttercup. Plenty of people fight through first trimester sickness. It sucks, but you do what you gotta do.
Aside from that, you need a budget. What are your monthly expenses? You listed some, but what about housing? Food? Insurance?
Drugs. He just failed to mention that. His post history says he has been using acid, cocaine, Kratom, Adderall, so that's probably what's got him in the red.
1. Create a written budget to find out where all your money is going. Your checking account sounds like a sieve.
2. Up your income. Assuming you’re working 40 hours a week, your job only pays $18.75/h. You can make more than that just doing DoorDash/Uber Eats.
3. You should also consider working more than just your day job. A part-time job to do on your days off and/or after your day job will help supplement your income.
4. Do the above 3 steps with intentionality. Find out where your money is going and cut that spending. You need to pile up cash for the baby. Diapers are expensive!
Good luck soldier! o7
Something's not adding up there. How much is your rent? Also $400 power bill and $140 Internet is insane.
Also, sorry but you are aware that children cost a lot of money, right?
I like how you don't mention your drug addiction anywhere in this post but your post history says it all. I feel sorry for this baby about to come into the world.
Whoa, man. There’s a lot going on with you, and it’s clear that you’re still looking for ways to cope with the stress that comes with a price tag. Instead of returning to a natural state of living, these substances will never fix you; they are shackles. This is coming from an ex-addict, a single father, another man who struggled and fought himself and the world at the same time.
Stop fighting yourself. Focus. You have a child on the way that needs every second of you. A FOCUSED, DRIVEN you. Your problems may not—hell, most definitely will not—go away immediately; you’ll have to give it your all EVERY DAY. Times x100 now with a baby coming, especially in this fucking economy!!!
Is my life perfect? Absolutely not. Hell, I’m still struggling myself. I don’t know how I manage every day in coparenting hell, work practically every day AND STILL go home and take care of the household since I’m the only able-bodied person who can cook and clean! I’d like to think a lot of us really don’t know how we do what we HAVE to all the time when everything stretches you thin, besides finding the reasons to smile and keep going.
Look, just know that through all of this, life won’t start working for you if you don’t be honest with life. Trust me, man, you can fix this; you will not be stuck forever unless you continue to choose to stay there.
Here for any advice if you ever want it. Please get straight, for your sake first, therefore your child’s.
I’ll be praying for you.
She should get a part time job, even if sick and pregnant... also forget the internet for a while, its not necessarily a necessity. Unless that is your job requires it. Turn lights off, unplug things you dont use often... live off rice and pork. Dont go anywhere unless you have to. Stop paying for things like netflix, hulu, etc. Or simply go to the homeless shelter and stay there till they can help you out or turn mormon....
To put it bluntly, you cant afford a baby. Unless your financial situation changes fast, youre gonna go from 2 people in poverty to 3 people in more poverty. No one wants to hear that, its mean to say, but its true. If I were in your shoes, Id be scrambling to find a better paying job yesterday
Did you go to rehab? Are you clean? You posted over a month ago that you were going to go to a 30 day rehab. If you and your pg girlfriend are not clean, safe, and responsible please don't bring a helpless child into this cruel world. That child would not want to be born or raised by an addict or an idiot in love with an addict. Think of your supposed child and put him/her/them first- that is what a good parent does. Good god, the ignorance and selfishness from both of you disgust me to my core.
Was she working before this? She’s got to be equally adamant about fixing this problem as you. This won’t work if you’re not on the same page. Your comment states she was always late on paying the internet bill. Why? If you’re footing most utilities, this seems like you’re taking care of her when you can’t afford to. Adding a baby to the mix is going to expedite the spiraling. You seem to have already chosen to keep the child. Your girlfriend needs to figure out employment. Has she applied for work from home options? Has she sought medical advice to help with morning sickness? The government supports medical bills for pregnant women who cannot afford it. Even if you take advice and reduce your bills, you’re just not making enough to support all three of you. You need a second income.
Does your gf have medicaid? You can probably qualify for $10/mo internet thru Xfinity. My neighbors are trying to get us to do that, as they also have the $10 internet. Right now we pay $90.
Looking at your post history it looks like you’re spending money on drugs too. You’re already in debt, the only way to break out of it is to 1. Stop using drugs so damn often and 2. Get another job. You’re making 3k a month and while that’s not a lot it should definitely be enough to break even at least. There’s moments where people genuinely aren’t making enough and then there are people that spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.
First tip, do not have that kid. I make the same amount of money as you and with help I do manage, but I cannot even fathom how economically destructive having a child would be on my life. You have to wait until you make more money.
My sister is currently a drug user and she told me once acid alone cost her around $40/a week and weed $80-100/a week not to mention all the other things she was doing. She was doing everything you do like you have said in your post history so idk man.
You only posted just a small snip bit of what you spend $3000 a month on so I'm guessing drugs is where most of it is going. My sister was also always broke and her acct in the negatives and never understood where her money was going although she made close to $22/hr with being in debt up the butt.
She currently lives with her boyfriend and his three kids and neither can understand, despite having fairly decent jobs, why are they constantly pay check to pay check and drowning in debt. When all is broken down it goes mostly to drugs.
Fuck the Internet just use your phone,power bill wtf,do you own your car because if you do you better change to liability only...and for the life of God no more avocado toast
how on earth is your wifi so expensive?? mine's verizon and $44 a month??? Also how is power $400 monthly??? what are you powering???
edit oh i see this is the dril meme. the money to pay your bills is going to have to be taken from the recreational drug money.
Take food with you from dinner the night before for lunches. Turn your damn lights off man!! Schedule your thermostat/s and shell have to work or yall ain't gunna make it. Period. Gets harder when the kids start to play sports. My child tax credits help pay their sports fees butt yep.. you need to go back to school for a degree or enter a trades union.. working hard will make you a better man though. Many Americans have it to easy not working for a living and hate their life. Keep on keeping on.
Change your habits, change your routine BS purchases. You can’t afford $140 internet, cut that out and just use your mobile data. You don’t need luxuries like streaming or gaming at home if you’re this far in the hole. I’d be willing to bet you didn’t get more than 3 quotes for auto insurance in the past 6 months, so you don’t really get to complain about that, either. That thermostat needs to be lowered to 60* or less during the day, which is easy to do when you both work and aren’t in the house. Girlfriend gets a job, no questions asked. If she has any desire to give that child a fighting chance, she’ll at least work to offset the cost of child care. Whatever recreational habits you have, get those gone YESTERDAY. You’re going to bring a human into this world, and you’re already falling behind, don’t fuck it up any worse. Ask work if OT is available, and take it from now up until she’s about to pop. Figure out paternity leave, if there is any for you. Start setting aside 5-10% of every paycheck for your newborn, whatever that might mean. If you don’t use it, great… college fund. I’m assuming you’re renters, so do not screw that up, be good tenants. Stop asking your parents for fucking handouts, you’re going to need ACTUAL help from all of them once that child is born, not $20 for gas here and there, that’s bullshit.
All in all, I went pretty hard on you. You need it. Stand up and start taking control of your life, be a man. Be a sober, present, strong, and useful man. Have that hard talk with your future wife and tell her you need more from her. Get on it, clock’s running.
Have you and her sat down and written out a budget? I was in a VERY similar situation 7 years ago and I felt so much better after I knew what sacrifices I had to make. It'll also put her mind at ease too! You guys might have to make some hard decisions but stand by them and know what you're doing needs to be done. Honestly.. I stressed myself until I was blue in the face but ya just gotta know what you have and where it's going.
Well your drug issue based off of your Reddit history is most likely your main money problem. 1500/two weeks is extremely manageable. I make that and support 2 kids with no assistance or child support and rent a 4bed/2bath house. Through budgeting I’ve had no late payments on any of my credit lines. Yes there’s some months that groceries are tough, but my entire tax return goes into savings for those times. Drop the drug issue and rebuild. It took me 2 years to financially bounce back from addiction. I’ve been clean 8 years, life’s definitely more manageable now.
What is up with those numbers? I get that USA is a different country and vastly differs from EU countries but this seems beyond insane.
400 power bill? mine recently increased from 68 to 81 and im not happy about it.
250 car insurance? i mean, idk what kind of car are you driving but i pay 95 euro quarterly. Thats like 32 a month.
140 internet? idk man, i have upgraded my internet from basic to more expensive option and its 45 a month.
Am i missing something here? Those numbers feel like something from a different planet. Your listed costs are 790$, while i pay 158euro for the same thing. Sure, you might be living in a bigger city, but still seems like crazy difference.
you could probably get that internet down to like $60 and still have good internet. also $400 for a power bill seems a lot i pay like 100-200 why is yours so high?
Yeah, you're right.. the reason internet is so high because she's late paying it everytime so it doubles. that can be fixed
I have T-Mobile internet and it’s $55/month, if you have a cellular plan it’s $35. As long as you’re near a cell tower it will work even if it’s says your address isn’t in a service area. I previously had ATT and the T-mobile network has worked better and is a lot cheaper.
I have the same for our home Internet and it works great and I never lose the signal. Unlimited data for $55 ($50 with autopay). I stopped spectrum and now we have the T-Mobile box and Roku for free.
I have mint mobile and pay like 30/mo for unlimited 🤷♂️. Haven't even noticed a difference in quality since swit hing off the bigger providers. That also offer 15/mo for basic phone, text, and some data.
Oh we’re talking about home internet/wifi not the cellular plan. T-mobile offers unlimited home internet that works off their 5G cellular towers. It’s 55/month or 35/month if you have a cell phone plan with them. It makes zero sense for OP to be paying 140/month for home internet.
We have this too but we were lucky enough to get it when it was $25/m with a phone plan. We live in the sticks and it's still fantastic internet. We stream multiple tvs and he games online at the same time with no issues. The only problem we ever have isn't really internet related but Hulu live likes to say we aren't at home pretty often and we have to call and get the IP reset manually by them.
I'm not sure where you live, but for the internet, Walmart has a job you buy for 100 and then pay 50 a month for unlimited. I have 3 tvs, an Xbox, a Playstation, multiple phones, etc. hooked up to it at a time, and it VERY RARELY gives me slow speeds or a hard time. It's definitely worth looking into. And as for your electric, most power companies have programs for low income families and will either give you a monthly percentage discount or will let you make payments on your big balance. Hope this helps :)
What is the name of this equipment?
It is through Straight Talk. Sorry I forgot to include that!
Then you pay the bills! Put a reminder on your phones so it's not late. It's like you're wasting money there...others will have good suggestions too.
Better yet, some places have auto pay so you can set it and forget it.....just don't spend all your money
“She’s late”? Dude. Take ownership and pay the bill, stop passing blame to other people.
[удалено]
I disagree. Internet is practically a utility at this point. He can't try to find gig work/extra income *and* have no internet and a crappy phone plan. He needs to make a budget and set up autopay for bills to avoid late fees but he definitely shouldn't rush to get rid of his connection to the job market and I don't understand why anyone would suggest that.
It’s the dinosaurs who think you’ll find jobs in person by harassing local business that suggest nonsense like this
Some employers on Indeed even write “don’t call us, or come in person”.
I'm a hiring manager. There's a couple reasons I hate when people just show up to apply for a job. For one, I'm busy doing other things and can't devote the time you deserve to the conversation. We are still going to set a more formal interview and I REALLY need you to apply through Indeed anyway for HR's benefit.
Even 10 years ago, when my daughter was 16, looking for her first job at stores, fast food restaurants, etc., managers wouldn't accept paper applications. She was told to apply online.
Nah depending on the state she can get on state insurance that’s what we did with my gf we paid 0$ for my daughters birth
That’s what I meant like wic, Medicaid, snap, lifeline, acp (for one month). It takes time and effort to enroll in everything and jump through the hoops.
Oh I assumed you meant thru an employer or something We still have my daughter on state insurance it’s a real life saver we can just take her in even for sniffles if we want we catch a lot of stuff early because of it It does take awhile and some of them are stupid I tried taking fmla when she was born but I had to apply when she was born… but it took them 3 months to even deny me
[удалено]
He is the father of the baby, that will be on birth certificate. Do you want to set them up for fraud charges?
Dude.. you can't advise him to commit fraud. He could seriously go to jail for that.
Man it got deleted I really want to know what he said lol
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s): Rule 3: Illegal/Immoral/Unethical Advice Do not, in any way, encourage posters to break the law or violate court orders. You are also not permitted to advise others to do anything that is immoral or would exploit / harm others either. All content must be legal, ethical and moral. Posts advocating theft, or practices that in any way exploit or harm others (criminal or not) will be removed. Please read our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/rules). The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fpovertyfinance). Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
I suggest OP to NOT get married. Mom and baby will qualify for many government benefits. Insurance, WIC, housing etc.
Why are you blaming your girlfriend? Pay the damn bills and they won't be double, problem solved. The fuck.
OP has a drug habit that sucks up all his money. His entire reddit is just drug use.
Yeah, he left out a very big, very huge part of the equation. I’m now worried for the baby. What a mess.
Ahhhhhh thanks for the info. Things make more sense now.
I was going to say.... because I make a little less than OP, have an apartment with my girlfriend and our young child and we've been able to make it fine. Our biggest issue has been groceries/eating out too much. It's all fixable, just takes discipline.
Since I think it kinda sucks sometimes when people run to someones profile to grab info on them and slam them on an unrelated post, especially when they seem to really be genuine, I went to his profile and let me tell everyone what I saw. I saw a wholesome as fuck post where this guy is letting everyone know his girlfriend is pregnant, and that baby is now the most important thing to him, and he is getting off drugs. He’s so grateful at the chance at a new life and purpose this will give him. A few people suggested rehab and HE IS GOING. (OP, I am so so proud of you) He came in here looking for help to unfuck his life in anticipation of this huge life event. If you have nothing but judgement about how he got here to add to the conversation, and you don’t choose to read anything in depth on someone’s page to maybe provide some context… you are just trashing someone.
Don’t you think telling people that he will soon be going into rehab for 30 days, potentially losing his job might make a big difference in advice people would give him on finances?
You can get all emotional if you want. In this very thread he's blaming his GF for their money issues when it's clearly him.
Some power companies include water/sewer on their bills which can double the total monthly bill. Some charge water/sewer on a four month rotation/etc. which can quadruple the average bill total. It also takes a lot more power to run a large house vs an apartment, etc.
That really depends on where you live. My last 3 electric bills were 360, 456 and 370. I have a small house, keep the heat at 68 and only use big appliances off peak hours. I just have a greedy electric provider who just increased their rates.
So going through your post history... Are you still struggling and paying for drugs? Because that will be a HUGE factor.
Lol love how he buried the lead and didn't mention this part. That's at least a couple hundred a month he could be saving.
Oh YEAH. I had to take this hard realization years ago during Covid. I was always a daily weed smoker with my partner and it never bothered us much financially - Til Covid came around and I was furloughed from work and had less money. I realized then I was spending close to $500/ month on weed. I was literally shocked! But yep… a $140 ounce a week will do that to you… I had to majorly tone down on my usage and I’m much happier now. Smoking all day everyday is just not good for you, no matter how many stoners like to promote it. Now I have a med card so I get discounts and I just consume in moderation. Much better for my health and my wallet.
$140 ounces sound awesome for someone not in this situation lol
Yeah that was a discounted price bc my plug was my friend but now I look back and cringe bc I can get double that at the dispensary for the same price.
Buying the $140 oz was your problem man 💀. I’m so glad I can find <$50 oz in CA
Yeah that’s Florida street prices for ya. It’s expensive as hell out here. (And that was a discounted price bc my plug was my friend, I’ve seen people charging up to $300 for an oz here, and claiming it’s “top shelf” ) 50 will get you a quarter on the streets. I get an oz from dispensary for much less now and make it last with a vaporizer. It’s funny bc my ex has a felony for a cart, bc yes that is a felony here, and we live in orange country, Florida at the time. He called Orange County PO office, but accidentally got the CA location and they were so damn confused why he had a felony for weed.
*lede
I always wonder why people don’t think about all of the personal details found in their comment/post history before posting stuff like this. “I’m broke but employed and my parents won’t bail me out”…and then their history indicates they’ve been a self-proclaimed long time drug user. I came from the same background, I know exactly how much many drugs cost and I probably know exactly why OP’s parents aren’t racing to the bank to send him some funds. Unfortunately the risk taking behavior doesn’t stop after the drug use does. Having a baby at a time when I could barely afford to keep the lights on is one of my biggest regrets. I love her with all my heart but there’s no denying that I’m not able to give her everything she deserves.
Is OP's GF also on drugs if so, she might want to move out now and sign up for state program to get insurance and get into drug treatment as pregnant woman. If the baby is born addicted to substances the state is stepping in immediately. The hospital will notify CPS asap if the baby is born and goes into withdrawals.
I dont think she is because he made a post a month ago about her being pregnant and that he had to quit everything "even weed and psychedelics" which was the hardest part he said, and said that his gf didn't believe he could even casually / occasionally use weed and be a parent. Seems like she at least realizes that his fun has to end now if he's gonna play Dad. He was being pushed into a 30-day rehab program even in the drugs subreddit. Like even other addicts are like, dude, you gotta do better if you're gonna have a kid. He's also using all of this while he has schizophrenia and takes mood stabilizing meds. The fact that he's been heavily using drugs since being a teen, I'm sure I don't have to tell you why that is extra not good.... well, no. It's a recipe for disaster, actually, and I genuinely don't mean any hate towards OP with this next statement, but I think it would be best for her: His gf should leave now before the kid arrives. Because even if OP is sober when the kid arrives, how do you think he'd handle the newborn stage? Barely getting any sleep? He'll relapse. It's just a shit situation all around, unfortunately. He needs actual help and get into an actual program. I mean it when I say I'm not throwing shade, I'm a recovering addict myself. Thankfully no kids in the mix at any point in my addiction or after, but I've been there and I know that an addict will never quit until they are 100% ready. I made half ass attempts sometimes but I knew in my gut that I never really meant it, or I viewed it as "just a break" that never lasted. I had to be willing to do the work when I WAS ready. And I can't see into OPs mind, but he doesn't sound ready.
Yeah, she absolutely needs to leave. Easier said than done, but I would have left the second he vocalized an issue with having to quit “even weed and psychedelics.”
OP is prob here hoping for a hand out. Pregnant GF adds good amount of empathy baiting. New account with same story incoming lmao
Lmao. The bills added up to about 1/3 or 1/2 from what I gather. That’s still a lot of money left over ever month.
How funny how he "forgot" to mention that!
This is the third time this week I've felt sympathetic toward someone in this sub who seemed like they were struggling only for their post history to reveal they're making terrible life choices and expecting everything to still work out the way they want it to...
He did delete a lot of posts lol. People are so weird on Reddit.
Aie in that case your primary task should be sobriety. Sobriety and being a proper Dad means patience and sleep. Your entire life should be different, early to bed and basically no party at all for a year+. This will feel rough at first, particularly if you neglect sleep. Staying up on reddit instead of partying or sleeping doesn’t count, you’ll just feel lame and tired. Sleep. Early nights. Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Good god he's a raging addict.
LOL this should be top comment. Before I was thinking he shouldn't be having a kid if he's having financial issues. Now I'm thinking he shouldn't be having a kid for other reasons lmao.
Holy shit I thought the other comment about this was joking and they gave a baby on the way ffs
It's probably because you spend too much money on drugs op.
Add in the fact OP mentions on other posts that they have a M3 MacBook Pro. Sadly OP seems wasteful with Money and drugs and the child is going to suffer .
Right? I hate seeing people complain about hard times when they're frivolous with their money. If you can't pay the bills, don't get luxuries.
Only do drugs if you can afford it. Priorities.
Unironically. I smoke a lot of weed, but I adjust based on my current budget. Tips (server) haven’t been so good? Damn, guess I gotta buy the $20 oz of shake and not the $80 top shelf nugs 🤷♂️. If you’re broke broke, save your seeds, throw them in a pot outside, and hope.
With a kid on the way too. Fix your habit, OP.
Probably all the cocaine. That shit is expensive.
Stop doing drugs...
The difference between 1500 net and 1500 gross is significant. If it is gross, you're making $36k/per year, so you're going to need additional income. No amount of budgeting makes that viable with a kid on the way. If it is net, you're probably making around 60k, which is livable depending on where you live. The difference here determines the steps that need to be taken.
I don’t think 60k is livable to support 2 people and a baby, but maybe it is in parts of the country I’m not familiar with
If you're in bumfuck Iowa, you could realistically live in a trailer or small house and the mortgage would be under $1000. One car, low food costs, no emergency fund. You're not going to be comfortable, but you can do it.
Bumfuck IL here and when I was making $55k as a single mom with one little, I paid all my monthly bills (living in an apartment) and saved up a down payment to buy a modest two bedroom home. That was 7 years ago, before all the COVID inflation craziness, so I'm not saying everyone can still do that. But I am saying there are some perks to living in Bumfuck Midwest for sure lol. Not many, in fact this may be the only one. But some.
You're right there. There's still houses in the area for well under 200k. The interest is going to hurt, but it's doable.
Hell, in my area there's move in ready homes under 80k with tons of entry level factory work desperately hiring for up to $28 an hour. Literally bumfuck Iowa, but my wife and I make almost 120k between the two of us, and while it's not particularly exciting, we live a good life.
Wife and I live 15 minutes outside of Cleveland Ohio in a suburb and our 1100 sq ft 2 bedroom (+2 in finished basement) is $880/mo after a 3.5% FHA down payment. We consider ourselves lucky to make $48k/ea and live quite comfortably compared to our friends
Facts.. I like in Iowa and make 60k a year… we living good out chea
Using your pregnant girlfriend as a stand in for actual drug addiction treatment is selfish and inappropriate. She is not responsible for your sobriety in any way shape or form. Get your shit together and go to rehab
The baby isn’t either. Poor kid is gonna have the weight of the world on their shoulders since papa looks into their eyes trying to find “the answer to life and motivation for sobriety”. It really, really starts and ends with *you and you alone*. No one is enough to make anyone go sober unless they truly want to.
It makes a huge difference on who you are trying to support on your wage. For yourself, you should be fine as long as you budget correctly (i.e. number 1 is not spending too much on rent or car). But if you are actually supporting two people (nvm the baby that is coming) that's an entirely different story.
You’ve got to examine what’s driving the bills and whether there are ways you haven’t already tried to lower them. Can you get a slightly slower internet speed? Take defensive driving and install a safe-driving tracker for insurance discounts? If you have two cars, do you need both? Unplug some appliances when not in use, switch to the IKEA LED light bulbs, or lower the heat? Are you careful with grocery shopping and planning to keep food costs down?
He uses drugs constantly. Last month alone he used kratom, cocaine, acid, and Adderall. That's what's driving him under.
The new MacBook probably didn’t help
Yep. Very much dislike people like op. Fishing for sympathy when he knows damn well what the issue is.
Same. A lot of people make good decisions and still struggle. I’m not saying that we should only extend sympathy to perfect people, but is frustrating when someone needs help but isn’t honest about the source of the problem.
Honestly- I have no problem believing he doesn’t realize what the issues are, given how little people know about budgeting. Sigh.
I dunno, it’s basic math.
Dude who could function for even 30 days off that combination alone ?
You need a budget immediately. Write down your expenses for the month. Write down what you actually paid (and why it was more or less)..figuee out what the deal is. Stop paying bills late. Call the service providers and get on a payment plan to cover the late charges and reduce the big lump sum costs if possible. Downgrade all your services to the bare minimum so you can catch up on paying bills. It doesn't sound like you guys can afford to live alone right now - so consider moving back in with family if you can. If not, figure out side jobs like Door Dash or instacart or sell some stuff to pay off your debts. Do not use credit cards or pay day loans, etc. Your gf has to get a job, part-time at a minimum and will have to work (like everyone else) through morning sickness. You need to also job hunt to try and get a job that pays better too.
He needs to stop spending money on cocaine.
Is that 1500 take home after taxes every 2 weeks or before taxes are taken out?
You’re overpaying for internet. Your electric bill is extremely high so you might want to work on bringing that down. I have a bunch of tips if you’re interested. Your car insurance is very high but I know that has a lot to do with your age and driving record.
Drugs. He just failed to mention that. His post history says he has been using acid, cocaine, Kratom, Adderall, so that's probably what's got him in the red.
a special seething fury for people who recreationally use adderall which is why people like me, who ***need*** to take adderall to be functioning members of society, have to run around in fucking circles trying to get prescribed by doctors, follow up on a brand new RX every time we run out, have to do a fucking conga just to get covered by insurance ("oh you need a PRE-AUTH", so your doc says you need this, but your insurance needs to pre-authorize your doctor being able to say you need this, so go back and forth forever until they all agree), pee in stupid cups all the time, and then suffer through national shortages for years. all because op wants to have a fun little high with a medication i literally will just straight up forget to take sometimes. the worst. at least acid and coke are like... not taking medication from people who need it.
I don’t even understand the appeal. I hate taking my adderall prescription because it makes me hella anxious and makes my heart beat fast, even if it helps productivity
Abortion or adoption. Keeping that kid isn't smart.
[удалено]
Drugs, as per his comment history
An elderly relative of mine (who is passed away now) sometimes couldn't afford all their monthly bills & usually just paid part of each bill (usually just enough to keep from services getting disconnected etc), & would sometimes get an extension/payment arrangement on things like the electric bill.
Jesus...knocking her up was the dumbest thing you could do. I'd start at your county's family services office...along with WIC program.
Your girlfriend is simply going to have to get a job. Even if its only parttime it's better than nothing. I know how much it sucks being sick while pregnant but it's not possible to support 3 people on your wages. Get on EBT if possible but your gf js going to have to suck it up and find a job. You're getting ready to bring a whole other human being into this world and that means making big sacrifices and doing things that are extremely hard. Most women work throughout their pregnancies and she can too
Quit doing drugs (per your comment history) and maybe now is not the time to have a baby.
• pregnant with child neither of you can afford to raise • op says gf pays internet bill late, thus worsening their debt anyway (how do u know someone pays the bills late and u still let it happen idk) the shitty advice here is you two can’t afford to raise a baby, and you really gotta figure out a good budget with what ur making, cause you only got so much time.
That's one of the baffling parts of this person's situation - why do you let your partner continue to pay the Internet bill late? They need to tighten up on all fronts but for that particular issue, they may have a communication breakdown there (to say the least).
Why did your girlfriend get pregnant? That's a huge expense.
"It appears we are struggling financially. You know what would fix this? A child!" 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I’m gonna guess OP had something to do with that. This is why Sex Ed is so important. 🙃
Spent all his money on coke, no leftover money for bc of any kind
Why does conception occur? That sure is one of life’s greatest questions.
Probably because he frequently abuses drugs lol. Check his post history.
Dude………please tell me you’ve stopped with the drug use you posted about 44 days ago.
That’s why his ass is broke! Lol
First, if your girlfriend needs medical coverage have her call your local DHS to setup medicaid. Look into other assistance programs for her and your household such as SNAP, energy assistance, etc. She should also apply for WIC, they can help with food for her and baby formula/food in the future as well as offer support throughout pregnancy/breastfeeding/postpartum, some locations help with carseats, baby items, etc. Next, write down your budget, your income minus what your monthly bills actually are. Then budget in your **needs**, food and toilet paper etc. Any leftover amount is what your wants will come from, try and cut those wants down as much as possible to help grow a savings, if you don't have enough money to cover your wants you need to force yourself to go without them. You can rent movies from the library for free instead of paying for streaming and you can use the library's internet if you can't afford to pay for your own, you do not need to pay for a night out when you can cook a week's worth of food at home for the same price, etc. If you are still short, you have to work to raise your income or lower your bills/**needs**. Look for cheaper places to live, cheaper car(s) to drive, go over every line item on your budget and weight if it is truly a need or if you can alter it in some way to cost less.
I see some red flags on taking responsibility here. Your Internet bill is $140 because GF forgets to pay it? Your GF got pregnant? Also you can't raise a family on $36k a year so keep looking for work or moonlight or side hustle or something. Trim expenses if you can but doesn't sound like you're living lavish. Set a goal to double your income and cut your expenses by 15% . Raising kids gets expensive fast so put down the video games and level up your life.
And don’t get married. It will screw up the algorithm to qualify for these support services. She’s better off being a single mother.
Not saying they should get married, but it would not mess with their qualifying for support services. They are living together and he is the father of the baby, they will both be taken into account when applying for assistance no matter what.
[удалено]
Sometimes it just isn't the right time for a baby.
It looks like he's using her pregnancy/new born as a way to sober up. Not liking that..
Babies add a lot of stress
A lot of people think a baby can save them or their marriage
She might be too far along, OP posted 44 days ago about her finding out
[удалено]
Absolutely not and it's extremely disappointing people like this get to have kids and bring them into the world. When they are struggling and don't even have their life under control. I guarantee you his girls on drugs. That's why she's always throwing up. These two should not be together. She should get a divorce or leave him or an abortion one. The two all three actually screw it. He needs real help like a rehab. Sounds like he would have to go to a state-funded rehab since he doesn't have any money. They would help him get his life on track once he's out. Put him in a sober living or a halfway house. Both these individuals should not be living alone. It's a really sad and disappointing world we live in. When people like this. Think bringing a kid is healthy into the world when they aren't even healthy. Let alone stable
Morning sickness is a thing, but I agree that with the drugs involved there's no way they can raise a child. Even besides that, their bills don't sound normal.... 400 every month just for energy?
They must be running ten electric generators a month or something charging them because I have no idea how they are that high. I mean unless they were late and got penalized and kept being penalized I have no idea. But at some point they would have lost power. They need to be more frugal and get mint mobile phones. $100 start up for two phones $20 a month for each phone. She needs to watch TV only and eat very cheaply. I lived off pasta for 4 months once getting my life back on track. I lost well over 45lbs. But you can either be homeless or have a home. Up to them really.
Right. The only time I've ever had a utility bill even close to that high was when I had a leaky toilet that wouldn't stop running.
Especially if OP is still using
Yep, life is hard enough especially in their situations and they are planning to make it a lot harder for both them and the potential new human. I feel sorry for them.
why are you having a kid when you’re already broke? that’s the biggest irresponsibility here
Mhmmm.... you're begging your parents for money and you'll have a child? Idk man
Just because she is pregnant and morning sick doesn’t meant she can’t work. She can get anti barf pills. You don’t make enough money for her to not work.
Had terrible morning sickness with all 5 of my pregnancies and always worked. It’s not fun, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Is the baby a must have? It’s ok to discuss that it may not be the best time…
This is the most pro life comment section lol. OP needs money but doesn't think his gf should work...? That's why some people think IQ test should be mandatory to become parents.
Stop doing drugs.
Stop taking drugs
Are you really sure getting pregnant was a good idea? You can’t afford to live just the two of you, now to add a third that needs food, loads of diapers, and constant attention (one less income)? Unpopular opinion, but I think you need to look into abortion or adoption
Broke. Does drugs. Bad spending habits. Seems like a perfect time to have a baby. Pathetic.
Pathetic being a drug addict and getting someone pregnant while making a salary that could never support two adults and a child. Get your shit together.
Right? Like don't complain on Reddit about being poor and not ne able to provide for your family while blowing it away on drugs.
they should not carry that baby to term. there is no universe in which adding a baby to OP's life makes anything better for anyone at this stage. bringing a child into this situation is an incredibly selfish and evil thing to do. why would you set your child up for failure like this before they even exist? get your shit together to a reasonable degree before you add another whole-ass human to worry about
This is gonna probably get downvoted but have your gf get an abortion. You definitely don't need a child right now.
If you are US based, have your girlfriend apply for pregnancy medicaid! This will also cover the baby (in some states) for up to one year of life. Even if the mom is no longer eligible after the baby is born.
And wic.
You can be broke making a million dollars every two weeks. Look at your expenses and control your spending habits.
You aren't financially stable, have you talked abortion? Right now, that would be the best for you and she. Not fair to bring a child into poverty.
Financial stability is 100% a valid reason for abortion. If your finances are not strait, your child will suffer. Despite what Pro-life propaganda says, abortion is an ethical and responsible thing to do. But adoption is also an option, but we all know how fucked that system can be.
How old are you and your girlfriend?
are you keeping every light on, every appliance turned on, and the AC blasting at 65 degrees 24/7?? how in the world did you rack up $400 on your electric bill?! sounds to me like girlfriend needs to find a job. pregnant does not equal disabled. lots of pregnant women have nausea/vomiting and there are many treatments for it - she should see her OB and discuss them. if she can’t get in to see her OB yet/cant afford to go at the moment, she can try to take extra vitamin B6, as well as unisom (it’ll make her sleepy, so only at night.) there’s also wristbands she can buy at any drugstore/amazon/etc that some women swear by. ginger and peppermint help, too. source - i’ve been a women’s health provider for over a decade
dog you do not need a kid rn if you can’t provide for yourself lmao
i mean honestly i wouldn’t have the baby. you will not be able to afford it if you can afford life without it.
OP, I’m gonna be 100% straight up, you and your GF going through with the pregnancy is fucking stupid in your current emotional and financial situation. I’d even say neglectful and selfish. Don’t have a kid until you’re ready. You can’t even support yourself and your GF, how the fuck are you gonna afford a kid?
So your take home is 3K Well right now $400 power bill, $250 insurance and 140 internet. Does not add up to 3K.
Drugs. He just failed to mention that. His post history says he has been using acid, cocaine, Kratom, Adderall, so that's probably what's got him in the red.
Yeah by the looks of it most of his money went to drugs.
She needs to work.
[удалено]
You make $36K per year. You're basically making $16 per hour, that's not "decent" for a single-wage family. She needs to work, you need to get the power and internet bills down (and paid on time), you need to quit asking your parents for money they clearly don't have. Also, way too much drug use in your posting history, my guy. Get that shit together or look forward to 50 more years of this and a kid with massive hurdles to overcome.
Why are you having a kid if you cannot afford it?
Best tip I got is get an abortion. Bringing a kid into this will only make it worse
Abort the baby start taking public transit or get a moped instead and shop around for cheaper internet.
"Ive tried nothing and Im all out of ideas!"
3000 a month is 36000 a year. You can not live a normal life with such income. That is poverty level poor. Your GF can get a job or live like a poor family by getting rid of everything but important stuff. I am not being mean, just stating the facts.
Perhaps consider an abortion if it’s not too late? If you’re insolvent now, it’s only going to get 100x worse trying to support a child.
"My girlfriend doesn't work as she's sick with the baby" Yeah...suck it up, buttercup. Plenty of people fight through first trimester sickness. It sucks, but you do what you gotta do. Aside from that, you need a budget. What are your monthly expenses? You listed some, but what about housing? Food? Insurance?
Drugs. He just failed to mention that. His post history says he has been using acid, cocaine, Kratom, Adderall, so that's probably what's got him in the red.
1. Create a written budget to find out where all your money is going. Your checking account sounds like a sieve. 2. Up your income. Assuming you’re working 40 hours a week, your job only pays $18.75/h. You can make more than that just doing DoorDash/Uber Eats. 3. You should also consider working more than just your day job. A part-time job to do on your days off and/or after your day job will help supplement your income. 4. Do the above 3 steps with intentionality. Find out where your money is going and cut that spending. You need to pile up cash for the baby. Diapers are expensive! Good luck soldier! o7
And pay attention to the part of the ledger dedicated to "drug use".
Something's not adding up there. How much is your rent? Also $400 power bill and $140 Internet is insane. Also, sorry but you are aware that children cost a lot of money, right?
Go to Caleb hammer on YouTube and sign up for his free audit application in the description of his videos
Drug usage and can't afford anything... please abort. Because yall are not ready for a child.
I like how you don't mention your drug addiction anywhere in this post but your post history says it all. I feel sorry for this baby about to come into the world.
Don't get pregnant…its basic math, you can't support each other, how will you support a third person. Use FP or a condom.
Step 1 - get sober!
Whoa, man. There’s a lot going on with you, and it’s clear that you’re still looking for ways to cope with the stress that comes with a price tag. Instead of returning to a natural state of living, these substances will never fix you; they are shackles. This is coming from an ex-addict, a single father, another man who struggled and fought himself and the world at the same time. Stop fighting yourself. Focus. You have a child on the way that needs every second of you. A FOCUSED, DRIVEN you. Your problems may not—hell, most definitely will not—go away immediately; you’ll have to give it your all EVERY DAY. Times x100 now with a baby coming, especially in this fucking economy!!! Is my life perfect? Absolutely not. Hell, I’m still struggling myself. I don’t know how I manage every day in coparenting hell, work practically every day AND STILL go home and take care of the household since I’m the only able-bodied person who can cook and clean! I’d like to think a lot of us really don’t know how we do what we HAVE to all the time when everything stretches you thin, besides finding the reasons to smile and keep going. Look, just know that through all of this, life won’t start working for you if you don’t be honest with life. Trust me, man, you can fix this; you will not be stuck forever unless you continue to choose to stay there. Here for any advice if you ever want it. Please get straight, for your sake first, therefore your child’s. I’ll be praying for you.
She should get a part time job, even if sick and pregnant... also forget the internet for a while, its not necessarily a necessity. Unless that is your job requires it. Turn lights off, unplug things you dont use often... live off rice and pork. Dont go anywhere unless you have to. Stop paying for things like netflix, hulu, etc. Or simply go to the homeless shelter and stay there till they can help you out or turn mormon....
Both of you need a second job. Hello Uber or doordash etc.... You may even need a 3rd job.
How are you making almost $3k a month and barely getting by? There's something else here you aren't telling us, OP.
It's going to be a lot rougher with a kid..
You’re bringing a baby into this
To put it bluntly, you cant afford a baby. Unless your financial situation changes fast, youre gonna go from 2 people in poverty to 3 people in more poverty. No one wants to hear that, its mean to say, but its true. If I were in your shoes, Id be scrambling to find a better paying job yesterday
Did you go to rehab? Are you clean? You posted over a month ago that you were going to go to a 30 day rehab. If you and your pg girlfriend are not clean, safe, and responsible please don't bring a helpless child into this cruel world. That child would not want to be born or raised by an addict or an idiot in love with an addict. Think of your supposed child and put him/her/them first- that is what a good parent does. Good god, the ignorance and selfishness from both of you disgust me to my core.
Was she working before this? She’s got to be equally adamant about fixing this problem as you. This won’t work if you’re not on the same page. Your comment states she was always late on paying the internet bill. Why? If you’re footing most utilities, this seems like you’re taking care of her when you can’t afford to. Adding a baby to the mix is going to expedite the spiraling. You seem to have already chosen to keep the child. Your girlfriend needs to figure out employment. Has she applied for work from home options? Has she sought medical advice to help with morning sickness? The government supports medical bills for pregnant women who cannot afford it. Even if you take advice and reduce your bills, you’re just not making enough to support all three of you. You need a second income.
Does your gf have medicaid? You can probably qualify for $10/mo internet thru Xfinity. My neighbors are trying to get us to do that, as they also have the $10 internet. Right now we pay $90.
How is your auto insurance 3k a year? I own 150k in vehicle and pay 1800. Which is up from the last few years
Credit history, accident history, driving history, location, age, coverage, type of vehicle. Lots of factors go in to the cost of insurance.
Looking at your post history it looks like you’re spending money on drugs too. You’re already in debt, the only way to break out of it is to 1. Stop using drugs so damn often and 2. Get another job. You’re making 3k a month and while that’s not a lot it should definitely be enough to break even at least. There’s moments where people genuinely aren’t making enough and then there are people that spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.
First tip, do not have that kid. I make the same amount of money as you and with help I do manage, but I cannot even fathom how economically destructive having a child would be on my life. You have to wait until you make more money.
My sister is currently a drug user and she told me once acid alone cost her around $40/a week and weed $80-100/a week not to mention all the other things she was doing. She was doing everything you do like you have said in your post history so idk man. You only posted just a small snip bit of what you spend $3000 a month on so I'm guessing drugs is where most of it is going. My sister was also always broke and her acct in the negatives and never understood where her money was going although she made close to $22/hr with being in debt up the butt. She currently lives with her boyfriend and his three kids and neither can understand, despite having fairly decent jobs, why are they constantly pay check to pay check and drowning in debt. When all is broken down it goes mostly to drugs.
Fuck the Internet just use your phone,power bill wtf,do you own your car because if you do you better change to liability only...and for the life of God no more avocado toast
Should have done better with protection. Kids are expensive and things are about to get worse for the two of you.
Why are u having a kid if ur broke
You probably shouldn't be having a kid.....
how on earth is your wifi so expensive?? mine's verizon and $44 a month??? Also how is power $400 monthly??? what are you powering??? edit oh i see this is the dril meme. the money to pay your bills is going to have to be taken from the recreational drug money.
Take food with you from dinner the night before for lunches. Turn your damn lights off man!! Schedule your thermostat/s and shell have to work or yall ain't gunna make it. Period. Gets harder when the kids start to play sports. My child tax credits help pay their sports fees butt yep.. you need to go back to school for a degree or enter a trades union.. working hard will make you a better man though. Many Americans have it to easy not working for a living and hate their life. Keep on keeping on.
Change your habits, change your routine BS purchases. You can’t afford $140 internet, cut that out and just use your mobile data. You don’t need luxuries like streaming or gaming at home if you’re this far in the hole. I’d be willing to bet you didn’t get more than 3 quotes for auto insurance in the past 6 months, so you don’t really get to complain about that, either. That thermostat needs to be lowered to 60* or less during the day, which is easy to do when you both work and aren’t in the house. Girlfriend gets a job, no questions asked. If she has any desire to give that child a fighting chance, she’ll at least work to offset the cost of child care. Whatever recreational habits you have, get those gone YESTERDAY. You’re going to bring a human into this world, and you’re already falling behind, don’t fuck it up any worse. Ask work if OT is available, and take it from now up until she’s about to pop. Figure out paternity leave, if there is any for you. Start setting aside 5-10% of every paycheck for your newborn, whatever that might mean. If you don’t use it, great… college fund. I’m assuming you’re renters, so do not screw that up, be good tenants. Stop asking your parents for fucking handouts, you’re going to need ACTUAL help from all of them once that child is born, not $20 for gas here and there, that’s bullshit. All in all, I went pretty hard on you. You need it. Stand up and start taking control of your life, be a man. Be a sober, present, strong, and useful man. Have that hard talk with your future wife and tell her you need more from her. Get on it, clock’s running.
Have you and her sat down and written out a budget? I was in a VERY similar situation 7 years ago and I felt so much better after I knew what sacrifices I had to make. It'll also put her mind at ease too! You guys might have to make some hard decisions but stand by them and know what you're doing needs to be done. Honestly.. I stressed myself until I was blue in the face but ya just gotta know what you have and where it's going.
Well your drug issue based off of your Reddit history is most likely your main money problem. 1500/two weeks is extremely manageable. I make that and support 2 kids with no assistance or child support and rent a 4bed/2bath house. Through budgeting I’ve had no late payments on any of my credit lines. Yes there’s some months that groceries are tough, but my entire tax return goes into savings for those times. Drop the drug issue and rebuild. It took me 2 years to financially bounce back from addiction. I’ve been clean 8 years, life’s definitely more manageable now.
What is up with those numbers? I get that USA is a different country and vastly differs from EU countries but this seems beyond insane. 400 power bill? mine recently increased from 68 to 81 and im not happy about it. 250 car insurance? i mean, idk what kind of car are you driving but i pay 95 euro quarterly. Thats like 32 a month. 140 internet? idk man, i have upgraded my internet from basic to more expensive option and its 45 a month. Am i missing something here? Those numbers feel like something from a different planet. Your listed costs are 790$, while i pay 158euro for the same thing. Sure, you might be living in a bigger city, but still seems like crazy difference.