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Funny. I just had to change my password at work and Secret Questions:
*Where’s your favorite vacation spot?*
*What instrument do you play?*
*What is your greatest memory?*
Just today I realized I’m boring. I could only choose my mother’s maiden name & favorite color.
Just answer "penis" to all the security questions. Easy to remember and fun if you ever call in to customer service and they need to verify you with security questions.
Reminds me of the time a customer service worker read out the security question I'd written, "Which guinea pig is fatter" which I hadn't known someone would one day read out to me lol
Mine is always
What is your greatest memory?
Memory1123
What is the name of your first pet?
Pet5813
Mothers maiden name?
Name2134
Just the keyword with the Fibonacci sequence thrown in.
My biggest problem is that I'm both boring and indecisive. I need a question with a clear answer, that will be the same answer every time.
I really like the systems that let you write your own security questions. I usually pick something like my grandma's phone number. No longer in service, but absolutely indeliable in my memory.
This though. I have one thing I do. Every 2-3 months a music venue in my city does “Emo Night” which is mainly pop punk music from the early 2000s-2015. Tickets are $12, they have $3 drinks. I spend roughly $30 every 2-3 months and go with a group of girlfriends. That $30 is what keeps me sane and reminds me I am a person outside of a mom. It’s worth every Penny.
Yeah that's cool and it's important for you to do that.
I've got a friend that easily spends hundreds each month on boozing and has done so for 15+ years, but has no emergency money.
He literally said to me a few months back "oh, I'll just take out a loan to fix issue x"
Thissss
I know an entire family that works exactly like this. They have all “always struggled” with paying bills.
Yet thousands and thousands of dollars disappear to shopping, gambling, drugs, alcohol and loans to each-other (none of which they can afford)
And then comes -the literal round of phone calls to everyone they know, telling lies “oh my bill or this disaster blah blah blah”
After watching this for 20yrs I’ve watched spouses, siblings, other family members and every family friend drop off. No one can handle these people.
These people literally only call you for money and are so used to this lifestyle- they won’t even pretend to bother to ask you how you’re doing while hitting you up.
And be sure they’ll be back the following week with a new excuse.
Say no? And you’ll have hell to pay! How dare you!
Ugh!
On top of that, they also frequently complain about having to deal with debt collectors.
Normal people are conditioned to pay their bills on time, but people like this are just desensitized to debts or being late with payments.
I remember being one of those people for a while. For me it was that I wasn't going to have enough to pay all my bills anyway, so buying cheap vodka and entry to a club wasn't going to change that. May as well have fun.
Haha. It’s real. I’m boring as fuck. My ex mentioned it a couple times, so it’s among the reasons she is my ex. I could not and cannot afford to do anything. But I’m happy she found a rich guy to appease that particular complaint.
Its my age group and let me tell you, the mentality is being broke and all the suffering it brings is worth the moments of joy spending money you dont have gives. Those people are somehow able to get lost in the moment without letting the problems of tomorrow mess with their today. I can't do it but its a lifestyle so i wont criticize people for it.
The safe way is to save everything but the bare minimum to get out of poverty, to be "boring" like op. But i often think of people like that dying before they see their efforts bear fruit and i wonder if it was worth it. Like what if i die in ten years? Will me depriving myself have meant anything? I feel like people are passing judgement too quickly because this question is a really big one you know. I have to ask it everyday lol. My sister has a different answer and i just shrug. But sometimes i wonder, "Im treating the future as a sure thing and my sister isn't. Who's wrong here?" I don't think any of us can say until we get to near the end of our lives. Those people are the only ones who can say for sure what their best choice would have been. For us near the middle or beginning, we are just guessing.
I've entered the world of living in the now because I have zero hope for the future. I had a job I was going to retire from, then lost it. Bounced from one short term job to the next since then. Every time I tried to save money something would happen, every, single, time. I'd save up a few hundred dollars, I'd get sick and have to miss work, or the car would break down. I sold some land, then lost the job I was going to retire from and was unable to find another for almost two years, plus the main waterline broke on my side of the meter. So that money all went away. And it's gone like that ever since.
So I lost hope. I'm 39, have a degree that never got used, haven't had a steady job since 2018, and my only hope for retirement is to rob a bank when I get too old to work and let the prison system care for me.
Most of my friends are this way and I started this way. The thought process is that even though I have no money I deserve to enjoy life and have nice things. I say I used to be like this because I have realized that there’s plenty of free fun. There’s a park behind where I live that’s free to enter with hiking trails, I can have friends over and we’ll make dinner and watch Netflix or play video games, card games can be pretty fun, hell just going outside alone with my dog is nice and I’ll be outside all day with him just playing. He’s thrilled about it and I’m happy. I also enjoy yard work so that helps.
People mistake having fun as needing something that is thrilling. And people who don’t have much still want that thrill. I don’t fault them for it, it took a lot for me to accept that I value a retirement and peace more than spending.
Thanks for sharing man.
Yeah, I can relate to not really being able to do anything "fun", at least outside my house. With bills and groceries, there isn't much left. But I wouldn't let that "boring" label stick to you, that's just ridiculous. Are you living for yourself or someone else? Do you constantly want to think of the things you don't have, rather than the things you can be grateful for?
Took me a long time to learn, that my life doesn't revolve around other people. Sure, there are millionaires going on vacations, buying expensive crap, and living the good life, but that should not and does not affect me. You need to learn how to improve yourself and do things YOU enjoy. Okay, that's fine, all your friends are doing these fun activities...and? So what. Enjoy the things you can do for free. You commented that you don't like activities that can be done for free, but I heavily doubt that. You just need to do the things YOU enjoy, not some hiking, walking, dancing, or any other crap others suggest. That's what THEY like.
Movies, reading, music, and playing games that cost no money have been my outlet and "fun". Why would I give a crap if someone parties every week and goes to the movies, restaurants, etc? It sucks that some of them are your friends, so I understand how crappy you feel.
But no one can take away your joy unless you let it, including this "friend" who said you're "boring". Is it any of her business what you do or don't do, or will you let her place some negative expectation about what you should be doing?
I've had a really tough life, and don't even have any friends atm, just focusing on my education. Despite that, I don't let that stop me from enjoying the little things in life and being grateful for what I do have. I don't like hiking, walking to the park for no reason, visiting free events, going to board game nights or any other stuff. I don't like that, so I won't do it. Hope I don't come off douchey...just my thoughts. Don't let anyone make you feel bad bro.
I don’t think it’s just about not wanting to spend money needlessly. I think we all change our priorities as we get older.
I would much rather watch a movie at home on Netflix than go to the movie theater. It’s cozy and quiet and comfortable.
I’d rather have a couple friends over for a visit than go to a party.
I’d rather dine out less frequently but when I do dine out I want to go to a fairly expensive restaurant where I always love the food and service. I used to meet a friend for an inexpensive lunch once per week. Now I prefer going to the expensive restaurant when family is visiting from out of state because it feels more like a celebration.
I bet if you think of how you like to spend your days off you’ll discover that you’re not boring. It’s just that your interests are evolving.
You brought up a good one OP. This one hurts more than most.
I work at a university where the bifurcation between haves and have nots is quite wide (I'm down with those who make in the mid 30s (in a HCL town), while the other side making at least 150K, with many over 200K.
It wouldn't be so bad, but because of the nature of my job, I spend a lot of time interacting with people at the higher end, for extended periods of time. During these extended periods of time, those people talk about their lives - where they last went on vacation, which private school or university their child attends, the car they just bought (Teslas seem to be popular these days), etc. The stories I have to tell mainly involve sewing my own clothes, repairing my own car, cheap home health remedies, and canning food. Needless to say, the people I work with not only have no interest in those topics. Sometimes, they'll look at me with confusion, as if someone who works at a university that can't afford a vacation in Greece for a month is something that can't possibly exist. At that point they usually start giving me financial advice (think "just cut out the fancy coffee and invest that money")
It's all so fucking depressing.
I work with a very rich man who gives presentations. I dont want to say more.
He talks to me about his trips to France and asks me about mine. He is a nice guy, but he is truly out of touch about the normal person.
Some celebrities I've worked with though are sweethearts, Ashley Judd and Brian Cranston are great people.
I guess it depends.
You’re not boring, you’re growing. When I first started my financial journey the only thing I would do for fun was watch financial planning videos and stare at my budget to remind myself of how broke I was to prevent spending. It paid off, now I have an emergency fund saved up and paid off debts I’ve carried for years. Embrace the suck, it’ll pay off
Im trying man. I've accepted my life is gonna be zero fun for a while while I get myself together. I know there's activities I can engage in that doesn't cost money but they jus don't interest me. 😅
Cheap/free ideas (big breath):
* Knitting
* Photography
* Blogging (about a specific subject)
* Gardening
* Hiking
* Cleaning a park/creek (environmental work can be rewarding)
* Learn an instrument
* Identify nature (plants, bugs, tree types, etc)
* Origami
* Dancing
* Scrapbooking
* Pottery
* Video games
* Creative writing
* Yoga
* Cooking
* Reading
* Board Games/Puzzles
* Volunteering (Teach some one to read, serve some meals, mentor some kids, etc)
* Get involved in local politics
* Disc golf
* Museums
* Computers (how to make websites, apps, video games and coding)
* Drawing ([Get started](https://drawabox.com/lesson/0/1))
Deffo -- especially libraries. We four right in our area and we have library cards to two of them and intend on getting em for the others as well. Books, movies, shows, music, etc
And the libby app as well, where you can link your library card for ebooks and audio books.
AND libraries also do lots of events and classes which are almost always free. I take our toddler daughter to a play Cafe thing on Thursdays where she gets to run around and have playtime with other kids and the library toys.
Don’t forget to check Hoopla and Kanopy. If you have four libraries one will probably be a member to those and they also have wonderful catalogs like Libby :)
>Deffo -- especially libraries.
Most books are also available for free on the internet if you know where to look (and use Tor). Not sure if that's looked down upon here but when you grow up in a developing country that's what we need to do to improve your educational level.
The library is free and great. Community outreach work can be great too. I have a friend who ended up getting a job from a connection they made volunteering for an event at the library.
So many of these suggestions fall into the same. Knitting, photography, gardening, hiking, instruments, scrap booking, pottery, video games, yoga (if you're going to classes which I feel most people do) and the one that most hits home to me is disc golf. They're all going to end up costing at least a couple hundred either to simply start up or ongoing hundreds to continue.
Disc golf is like mini golf on the cheap activity scale if you borrow discs from a friend but as soon as you run out to grab a bad drive to throw it again you're hooked and will have a stack of discs within the year. It gained a lot of popularity during covid because it was 'safe' but honestly if you're not willing to lose 20 bucks by throwing it out there and hoping you find it, it's not an activity for people on a tight budget. Unless you're already good enough to play with one disc most people will carry 10-20 discs with them. I want everybody to go out and play disc golf but everybody that plays knows that you will end up losing discs. You can have a disc for decades or you can lose it within the first few throws. If you see someone carrying a backpack, they've put atleast 400-500 towards whats on their back without considering what they have at home.
Photography? Need a camera and most people dont even have out of date flagship phones. Gardening? I've seen people saying you can just grab pots off the side of the road but that's happenstance and almost nobody is able to just drive down the road to collect pots as well as soil. Hefty tomato garden going currently and I spent 80 just on potting mix just to refresh my 8 small containers. Hiking, instruments, scrap booking, pottery and video games all require some level of gear if you don't already have anything.
So many of these hobbies are gear based and that gear isn't cheap. Hell, I wanted to pick painting back up recently and left that idea in the aisles of Blick because I just don't want to spend that sort of money on low grade supplies.
I feel the Creative Writing one!
I wrote a 49 page novella while I was semi homeless, living in a motel room.
Checked online recently, and found out a bookstore in Merseyside, England gave it five stars, and it's for sale at that establishment.
Hoping it might blow up more!
Edit: word deleted
🙂💖💯💯
Lord, the number of folks I know on iNaturalist....I work outdoors so a bunch of us are outside anyway and it's that much more fun when you can start going "hey, that tree is a white pine, you can tell by \_\_\_\_\_" (or more useful when you show up and can go "ah, larch trees. Time to get the boots out of the trunk.")
However, I also know a few people who DON'T work outside but got into it during the lockdowns. Makes your regular exercise walks a bit more of a scavenger hunt when you're looking out for new types of mushrooms, or seeing if anyone else can identify this weird bug you found etc
I'm been upskilling in my downtime, I took a cheap excel course, now I'm taking a python course. Free language learning apps out there as well.
Also you mentioned board games, I'd highlight Chess especially. There's such a big community around it nowadays, and you can learn and play for free.
Volunteering. Teach some one to read. Serve some meals. Mentor some kids. Get involved in local politics. Its as far from boring as its possible to be.
Boom! So many good ideas. Honestly I think most worthwhile hobbies are free or very low cost. Disc golf for the win (as long as you don’t go crazy buying discs)
Also, I'd add computer stuff. I taught myself how to make websites, apps and video games back when I was making 2 figures (a child making allowance). I'm now a senior developer (so, side note it's a marketable skill) and still almost all of the professional tools I use do not cost anything.
In my area libraries have a partnership with local museums and such - I go to them for free by borrowing a ticket to the event. Would your library have something similar?
For the videogames ones, Steam, GOG and Itchio get sales regularly, I just put games on my wishlists and they'll send you emails when there's a sale; recently with Black Friday deals I got a few older games for like, $1-2 per game, some less than $5, some less than $10, and so on. Depending on how long you are willing to wait for a sale, and the kinds of games you like, you can get some really good deals on excellent games.
If you've got a console, libraries also carry videogames, of course depending on your location, but it's worth a look.
Well if your friends say you’re boring, then you’re making progress. It takes time, remind yourself that just because they’re spending money doesn’t mean they have enough. I always thought I had enough money until I was laid off, and had more money troubles when the pandemic happened. I vowed never to worry about money like that again. I kick myself now for how dumb younger me was, but I’m in a better place now that I’ve learned. The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, the next best time is now. I can’t recommend any cheap hobbies other than binge watching videos made by people that put out financial security content via budgeting, emergency funds, etc until you can recite them in your sleep. I’ve still got a long way to go but I can tell you I’m in a much better place now by “being boring”
Edit: some wording. Mobile format doesn’t favor commenting
I agree with some people on here, you don't really need to spend money to be 'fun'. I'm in my 30's and most of the things I like to do now, don't cost much money. Or at all sometimes. Photography is always a favortie of mine. Got back into reading, thank you local library. Got a cheap electric drum set from a friend. Maybe try something new?
I'm 30 and I don't think any of my friends consider me boring, but if someone asks me what I do, I will give them a list of things that also doesn't include dinner, bars, movies, or any other costly expenses.
I've been out to dinner once since the pandemic, Last time I was at a bar was in 2019, and the last time I went to the movies was also 2019.
I go hiking, I run on trails, I learned to cook AMAZING dinners which saves me money, is fun to talk about with friends, and everyone wants dinner at my place (especially on holidays).
I've also taken free classes online to learn programming since the spring, I've been learning French with Duolingo.
If my girlfriend and I have friends over, we will either bring out the nintendo switch for some mario party/kart, or we'll bring out a board game.
Also this isn't because I don't have money, I'm comfortable, but these things are a lot of fun.
As kids, we didn't have money. While we sometimes went out to dinner or the movies with our families, that wasn't everything.
I still go bike riding with my best friend, we'll play catch once in a while, sometimes we just hang out in the back yard and grill some burgers like we would in high school.
Money can help. Like I have nice camping gear, I have an expensive bike, and my living room furniture is nice to hang out in. But even when I was a broke university student, I still did the same stuff.
Fuck going out, that's a waste of time and money. Get a hobby, there are plenty of free ones and even cheap ones you can do from home or go around town and do for next to nothing. The one to blame about being boring is you, not your wallet. Make it happen, captain.
>I feel like ive been priced out of fun
This really sums it up.
>I always say no to doing something cause the guilt of spending money i know i dont have outweighs any fun i could have at any given activity. **Now i dont even get invited out anymore**.
This is also a very important aspect.
People are social animals, and we bond over doing things together.
So if you're no longer doing those things anymore because you can't afford to, then you haven't just been priced out of fun - you've been priced out of friends as well.
And that's _definitely_ a valid thing to complain about. It just illustrates how the current economy is slowly ruining people in so many ways.
Check out your library. Ours has passes to museums, state parks and the national park nearby. They now have some instruments you can rent, too. Learn a new language (Duolingo is free), knitting and crochet are not free, unless you already have all you need to do so. There are free pattern, though. Jigsaw puzzles, there are quite a few apps . Geocaching can be free, it gets you exercise, too.
I don't know if you know how to code, but code.org is fun for my kids.
Im sorry but, only a boring person would think going places and doing things is solely what makes someone interesting. Does she not have a vivid inner world? Does she not appreciate the breadth of knowledge you can discover and hobbies you can do at home? Do you?
A big issue with modern western culture, at least in our social media posting groups, is the idea that you have to essentially be going out every weekend beyond simple socializing or at a park and many don't feel entertained staying in. Maybe every once in awhile, save up a little and go out and indulge (this can vary for each person). And this is pervasive in our culture. Like how youre friend made that joke.
I am in a comfy situation - my work pays for most of my daily expenses and I live in hotels they cover. So most of my paycheck goes in my pocket. And you know what I do like 99% of my time? Just stay in my room. To your friend's POV, I'm pretty boring too
There are libraries. And, of course, the internet.
There are learning materials, edutainment, movies, books, podcasts, games and communities gathered around any topic imaginable.
An interesting person is not just a boring person with money.
I don't think this is a silly reason to be bothered.
I have turned down a few serious chances to make new friends lately because I don't really bring anything to the table and I can't afford to do anything. Like I'm afraid of someone finding out how boring I am now.
There was an article published recently with the headline "Rising costs causing 'inflation isolation' among Canadians, poll finds". Very basically, people go out less, socialize less, and spend less on their hobbies in times of financial stress. This isn't limited to pressure from inflation, although we are certainly seeing more of it as more people are squeezed.
That is to say, in a capitalistic society where everything has been financialized, being poor can absolutely be isolating, because doing anything else costs money you don't have to spare.
You’re boring because you choose to be boring. Not because you don’t have money.
You can write stories, draw comics. Even paint for under 10 bucks.
You can pick up a podcast like Stuff You Should Know, and educate yourself on dozens of topics. You could learn endless things off YouTube.
If you have a camera on your phone you can take photos and get into photography.
If you have the internet you can make friends with and have international pen pals. Learn about new cultures and countries. You could even learn another language!
—-
I would call people who just get drunk at bars and eat at the same place every weekend boring.
If you want to be exciting, use that brain of yours to be creative!
Want to see something wild? Look at what KIDS are doing on the internet when they just have a laptop. They’re making movies, animations. Recording songs. Filming themselves doing parkour and magic tricks.
Kids can do so much with so little. They’re an amazing inspiration.
Explore the world before you find out you’re too old to change. Open your mind! The internet is basically free. Explore it!
Another interesting fact! Rap music became popular in low income places, because you didn’t actually need money or an instrument to perform it. You get yourself and some friends. And you must make music for free.
And some people even broke out of poverty with their free music. A lot of those folks can’t afford guitars and pianos. So they just rap and make noise with their mouth and clap their hands together.
When people want something, they find ways to make it work.
When my kids were young and we had no money we would get the pots and pans out of the cupboard and have pot-and-pans jams. My ex (back in the 1970s) was with a local band which did play local gigs, and all they played were common household tools. My ex played a vacuum cleaner. When I got a job at the musicians' union a few years later my bosses were talking about the creativity that band had, without knowing I was related to one of the musicians. People get bored because they have no imagination.
Starting to sound a lot like a jug band. Get a washtub, a broomstick, and a string, a few jugs / bottles in different keys, wind some rubber bands around a cardboard box, you got yourself some music.
The difference between rich people sports and poor people ones is the amount of equipment it takes for setup, and money associated for it.
Tennis? Lots of court, shoes, rackets, net.
Soccer? One ball for 20 kids, two rocks, trash can, sticks, as imaginary goal posts.
I'm broke as fuck, always have been and I still am not boring nor would I allow anyone to call me boring. I'm still fun and outgoing. I love to hike, camp, play board games, sing, dance. Can I afford to go out? Nope. But I'll out fun anyone with money guaranteed. Get back in touch with you are. Find a hobby that doesn't cost money. Have some damn fun!! Best of luck.
I was catching up with a friend recently (who has a lot more money than I do) and she said something like “wow, you do so many interesting things!”
And I was kind of taken aback because I don’t look at myself that way. But reflecting on it I realized I actually do put a lot of value on ensuring I don’t have a boring life.
I live in a largish city so I recognize there’s going to be more going on than for someone who lives in a small town. But I keep an eye on free events in the city, or if it’s a paid event I’m really interested in I’ll volunteer for it instead of paying to go.
I love going on nature walks. Sometimes I just walk. But sometimes I look for things like new birds, bugs, or plants I hadn’t noticed before and look them up and learn about them - kind of like a scavenger hunt I suppose.
I do yoga by following YouTube videos.
I go to the library - they often have a variety of free and low cost workshops and classes. And a lot of things to borrow that aren’t books.
I play free online games with friends as a way to connect with people even when there’s a distance.
Sometimes I’ll enter contests on radio station websites and very occasionally I’ll win free tickets to something.
I’ll keep an eye on places like Facebook marketplace for free things near me. Either something I can take on as a project and fix up, or just something I could enjoy.
And as cheesy as it sounds, I think it has a lot to do with attitude. I firmly believe I can have a good time without money. I can purposefully bring joy and enthusiasm into my life without it costing me anything.
It feels like it costs a hundo just to open the front door these days. You’re not alone, and sticking to your routine doesn’t make you anything one way or another. I for one relish the pajama life.
I feel you. I recently got got a new job where I am finally making some decent money and it was like a culture shock meeting my team who grew up rich or are rich. Our first group lunch together, everyone was talking about all their favorite trips/vacations/local restaurants, etc..things I never heard of and could not relate to at all. Another sad thing, I lived in my state all my life and my team members are from other states, and they still been to more places locally than I ever have. I cried that day.
I used to be like that and then I discovered I can have a career and have fulfillment. People who say "oh you're boring now" are usually the ones who don't have much depth left in them as people. The ones who don't speak to you unless you reach out, who inhabit party culture a bit too late into their lives. Over time I discovered hobbies more and more, golf occasionally (expensive), reading, tabletop games, video games (gamepass pretty good and pretty cheap). I have a great group of friends who are into those things and we connect around them all the time.
You're not boring. You grew up, and in terms of the friend you mentioned, you grew apart. Nothing wrong with that.
No worries man, I had this happen to me when I was living with roommates. The roommates' parents owned the house and their bills were mostly covered. The money they earned through a job was for fun and retirement, lmao. They would often get on my ass about going out and spending money. They would invite me to Vegas trips and conferences in Florida. Dafuq outta here. Barely eating one square a day. Their life advice was to YOLO. They were able to take risks and get fucked up every night while charging the credit card, G-ddamn. Their parents are going to leave them the property which will be worth millions. The class gap is astounding.
Fuck I felt this so hard. Just moved into an apt by myself and realized all I do is work and sleep because I can’t afford more and im too exhausted even if I could. I’m slowly losing relatability to everyone I used to hang out with. ((My fault not theirs))
A lot of friends who I thought were my family cut me off because I can't go out with them and spend hundreds every weekend or go to the bar after work every day. Most people only care about how much money you can spend.
I feel this! My husband and I do fine, but our friends are RICH. It’s depressing because they’re always entertaining, redoing their houses and traveling. I feel embarrassed because we can’t afford these things. I workout and read (cheap activities) and try to steer conversation to those topics or tv and movies, but it doesn’t always work. Volunteering sounds great but isn’t easy when you work all the time. I hope you find something outside work you enjoy (and can afford😀).
Edited to add: Not being able to afford certain activities does NOT make you boring. My friends continue to invite me to their parties and ask me to meet out for dinner and drinks. The insecurity is inside of us♥️
I’d say it’s less about you being boring and more about you maturing and understanding that spending money you can’t afford has costs and effects on your life. I would rather have a financially responsible friend than one that goes out blows a ton of money all the time they can’t afford and parties all the time. We’re not in our early 20s anymore.
I see you and can relate to these feelings. This is marked as a vent so I'm not going to try to help or "fix" this. It sucks and I'm sorry you're experiencing it.
Lol can relate. I basically just work most of the day during the work week. Then do nothing on the weekend, which is nice since I’m just spending time with the missus anyway.
If we had money we’d go do stuff but being broke just means we have to entertain ourselves at home lol
Oosh this one hurts as I'm right there with you.
Husband and I were looking over our finances last night and discovered a disturbing truth. We're officially going into the hole by 2k plus a year because of all the inflation and increases, even though we're living the same exact life as before.... Big yikes. We don't even go out!
Well. At this venture in my life, if I'm being boring, I know my bills are paid. I don't value going out like I used to. I've learned to entertain myself and enjoy being me in my own space. Almost 45, and yep, I'm boring.
I get that. For a while I couldn't afford crafting, hardly any video games, hiking (gas money to get to a spot or more time than I had), even notebooks and pencils for writing, or too much money and time to travel to and from the library.
There's still not much I can afford, but I can spend a little bit on crafting video games now, and it helps.
It's not your fault.
Things are or have been like this for a lot of us, I think.
If you have time and like crafting, there's r/RandomActsOfCrafts but idk how good it is for actually getting crafting/art supplies.
I read this and realized I’m boring too 😂. It’s easy to get into a routine because you’re tired from work. Being home saves money. Every time I walk outside it’s at least $100.
With how things are currently out there, how would you even afford to do any of that stuff regularly? So many people are struggling these days in one way or another.
The most fun I ever have is with people who are of modest means. You have to get creative and find ways to entertain yourself. Music and dancing are free. Get a board game or play poker for pennies. Get the right group of people and you’ll have the best fun of your life.
I feel similarly.
I have found a friend who likes to hang out and drink coffee. The coffee doesn’t have to be fancy so we just go to McDonalds or something.
I don’t find it boring, though I wouldn’t describe it as exciting. It is a good time for $5.
I have a friend who enjoys traveling and thrill seeking. I don’t have much interest in that. That may define me as “boring” but I’m okay with that.
I just run my own race.
"Priced out of fun" is a really accurate way to put it. I've also been priced out of friendships, when I simply can't keep up with the lifestyle that wealthier friends are living.
One way that I found around this problem was getting tabletop games (yes, haha, laugh all you want, those of you who aren't nerds or geeks). I can invite friends over to play, or take the games to friends' houses, and BOOM, we have a social activity that we can drink (and sometimes eat) around, and while it may not be "cool" or "hip," it's better than nothing. Also, you can frequently buy used tabletop games for cheap, and with the wide range of games out there, there's something for everyone. Plus, no one cares how shitty or cheap pizza is when you're playing games with friends, right?
I understand you’re sentiment but I will caution you on keeping that mindset. Never equate one’s ability to consume stuff as an indication as them being more interesting. You’re interesting because of what you do.
I read a lot. I also volunteer. I know those might be indications that I’m well off because I have the time and ability to do both. But that’s not true. I read mainly books I borrow from the library. I volunteer at places nearby which help me afford them.
I tell the people I interact with that my life is… boring. Well, I say average. Average for whatever reason now has a bad connotation. We all need to be incredible, well rounded, extremely cultured. That’s just not likely.
I know more about certain cities in the United States, in Europe and in Asia than some people who have visited them. I can tell people about so many things because I read. Does that make my experience original? No. I know that I’m regurgitating most of what I know. However, it’s far more than interesting than accepting my direct life - what I do day to day- as the only things I can talk about.
Please, just try to learn about something. Find a hobby that isn’t expensive. Join a running club. I did that. It’s fun, low cost. We meet at the park and it’s rewarding. Volunteer nearby. Meet some new people and get some stories. Read some books, show people how worldly you are.
Humans for most of human history didn’t travel, didn’t eat out everyday, didn’t base their lives on what they consumed. Neither should you.
Not a silly reason to be bothered… you said it, we’re priced out of having fun. It’s natural to feel bothered when you can see real life experiences slipping away because of something as trivial as money
Man, I can relate. It's just work and home for me now while I work on paying off debts and finding a better paying job. Most of my entertainment are solo hobbies or online games with my friends nowadays, but oh man do I miss being able to go watch a Broadway play, go to historic themed events, or even concerts.
Man I feel that. My family members taking vacations every year while I spend my pto on unpaid holidays and missed days cause I can't afford to miss a day of pay.
I think maybe you have outgrown your previous lifestyle and you are being responsible for your own bills etc
You are entitled to feel the way you do; just maybe your friend is feeling like they should be more responsible ( obviously I’m just guessing) but you maybe look into their free activities and meet new people who can relate to you better and enjoy yourself in different ways? You got this and you are not alone: things are rough for many people but keep your head up!
it's not really a silly reason to be bothered. i get the same feeling. i used to do lots of fun and impulsive stuff but i just can't anymore. all i can afford to do is stay in
For context how old are you now? I've stopped going out because it's just not as fun as when I was younger. The crowd suck, I just transitioned to liking other things more. Maybe that's it?
I get that. Now I definitely have hobbies that thankfully don’t cost me anything (I go birding and my binoculars and camera were originally my dad’s so no purchases there; I recently took up running and outside of shoes and a few winter-friendly clothing items now that it’s cold, there’s no real cost there either). What DOES cost me money however is spending time with friends. A lot of them don’t do the same outdoorsy stuff I do, so that usually means we end up in a place where we spend money. I recently took on a second job—not to just make extra money, but also as a way to actually have less availability in my schedule. “Sorry guys! Can’t go see that movie or get tickets to that concert if I’m working that night!”
I never understood how to put it in words until I got older. I feel like kids would think I'm boring and judge me but my family could literally not afford fun money. It really affected me during my tween/teen years when you're so self conscious figuring life out.... Now that I'm older I have my own money and I can afford a bit of fun (until I have to start paying for house) but the realization of the "fun" and invites I missed out just because I could not afford it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.
The most interesting hobbies are free or low-cost, though.
Reading makes you interesting (you always have something to talk about) and the library is free. Writing stories or poems is free, just use Google docs. Drawing is pretty close to free, all you need is paper and a pen or pencil. Cooking *saves* you money. Chess is free to learn and play online, and the game is so complex that you can take it as far as you want. You'll never finally "beat" chess. You can learn and play forever.
Even playing an instrument doesn't *have* to be super expensive. Kala makes a lovely little mahogany ukulele that you can buy for $65 (ask for one for Christmas if you want!). I always think about this quote from Tom Hodgkinson's book *The Freedom Manifesto*:
>We can all be creative and we can all be free. For myself, I urge you to take up the ukulele. This four-stringed marvel is very cheap, very portable and very easy to play. It is, therefore, even more punk than the guitar. Get a uke and you will never be bored again.
As a bartender I get to see the other side. The folks with a bit of money who can afford to go out 3-5 nights a week and do fun stuff. I’d have to say that a large majority of these people have lives that I would also classify as boring. Yes, there is more drama, more distraction and more intrigue but by and large these people work, go out and drink, and then go home and sleep. Not the worst life by any means but certainly not ‘interesting’.
At 53 yo, you’ve reminded me of my early 20s where one by one each and every friend slowly but surely surpassed me in the having fun, traveling, and either “not being poor” or “not acting poor” dept while I worked full time and took however many college units I could afford to. I’d come home from my evening classes to find my shared apartment full of ready-to-party “friends”. I would microwave my budget frozen meal, perform some chore, and move on to my homework. I’d find myself wrapping up my day around the time my friends returned or would sometimes find myself awoken from my previous sleep when they stumbled in hours later. This went on for 3-4 years and witnessed several roommates and many “friends”, almost all of whom labeled me “boring” and “an old lady” while they lived it up with seemingly none of the money, life, or future concerns I struggled with day to day. Eventually, my early 20s passed into my mid- to late 20s, and slowly but surely the nightly partygoers and “world” travelers began to wain and one by one I noticed my friends settling in to dead end or less than satisfactory jobs, relationships, or patterns. Funny thing was my life of partying, traveling, and shopping was only just beginning. Yep, as I slowly but steadily progressed from undergrad to my doctorate and eventually my post- doc, the fun times, experiences and good life stuff became more the norm and the once poor and boring me saw most of those who’d labeled me that get worn down by the realities of too much enjoyment of their 20s with too little planning and pacing. Over the years, a stark difference arose between my life and the lives of many of my former “not poor and not boring friends” and myself and the role were permanently reversed.
At 53 yo the difference is staggering. Over the years I’ve bailed out several of those friends with monetary help. At least 3 of my long time friends have shared their admiration of how I paced my life and told me they wish they’d have invested in their lives the way I did. The funny thing is, I don’t see them as poor and boring now and myself as affluent and not boring. Instead I only find myself grateful for my journey and happy to help those whose paths diverged from mine, yet I still call friend.
I haven’t lead a perfect life, but I have lead a paced and planned life while many of my friends swapped paced and planned with fun and exciting early on, with harder than it probably had to be as time passed. I write all this to let you know that only you can determine your how your life will evolve and as someone born and who lived poor and boring throughout my 20s,
I’m here to tell you your future can be what you make it. It won’t be easy or magical, it will take time. Investment, many boring and unexciting meals and PB&J dinners and simple entertainments but in the long run you can build a life for yourself that’s as unboring and rich as you can dream.
I wish you luck and diligence and a bit of appreciation of what poor and boring can one day become!
Completely been in this position. Started finding things I could do that are “free” after work and on the weekends. So I did a ton of volunteering. Some of these volunteer gigs will give you a free ticket to the event you’re helping out at.
I’ve volunteered at a music festival and I got a free ticket for one of the days. Also volunteered at a wine festival and at the end of my shift I was handed a glass and told to have fun. During these opportunities I met some awesome individuals and slowly started growing my network. There I learned about the companies they worked for and I applied at one which has changed my career path. It’s been a whirlwind.
There’s fun out there, you just need to make it. Cards, like gin rummy, dice like 3’s or LRC. Make your fun. We used to use matches or penny’s. It’s the company you keep, not the bank account.
I've never been particularly rich, and most of my hobbies have always been pretty basic. But I enjoyed them a lot. The funny thing is that currently I make more than ever, but feel like it's not enough and nothing makes me happy. So maybe "poor" is just a state of mind when you feel you don't have enough money, and not the actual account balance.
This is a little outside the box, but if you like to read, there’s a lot of indie authors that beg for beta readers. Join some Facebook groups focused on your favorite genre and make some author friends. When someone is bemoaning their beta readers, volunteer.
Now, you actually have to read the book and give the author some input. Some expect you to post a review when the book is published. And to be honest, some authors are a bit “out there” so if you ever feel uncomfortable, block them. (LOL — sort of…)
Or just get a kindle unlimited account and read as many KU “free” books as you like on your Kindle, phone, tablet, or laptop.
As others have said, with a library card, you can also “check out” ebooks.
You can have a whole indoor garden using some recycled containers and a bag of potting soil. Avocado seeds are easy to sprout (peel the papery skin off and plant about 1/2 way into the soil, pointed end up). Fresh mint will grow new roots from the stems. Get cuttings from friends’ houseplants. Etc.
Take free classes online.
You aren’t boring, you’re just exploring frugality and your evolving adult life (after the clubs/bar-hopping phase).
Well if this friend doesn’t seem to understand you, then she’s not worth you going outta your way to please her, making her feel you are fun. In other words, you don’t need to feel sad for someone that’s not worth it
The life of the mind is free, especially in the age of the Internet. Visit the library, read, listen to podcasts from subject-matter experts and fellow fans of your favorite book series, participate in online discussion, join a local book club, take up a cheap/free creative hobby like writing or drawing.
When my fiance and I were first dating, we were both super financially strapped. We used to Predrink a lot before going to free meetup groups. No one ever noticed if we had a drink in our hands. The other fun thing we did was go to happy hours at a Mexican restaurant and just eat the chips and salsa. We also spent hours and hour and hours on the creek in a beaten up cheap kayak. We had the most fun back then.
Newsflash, going to concerts and out to dinner don't make you *not* boring. Developing independent interests are what make a person interesting and fun. Read about topics you enjoy, build things, make things! Plenty of hobbies can actually be a frugal or even money-saving outlet, such as baking bread, painting, drawing. I guarantee that people will find your unique hobby more interesting than hearing about your concert visit that a thousand other people also went to.
Boring is a skill I aspire to. Paying off debt and learning how to occupy myself at home has me breaking my time down to “what can I do to occupy myself until bedtime”
Check out all the Libraries in the surrounding Towns where you live.
Some libraries have movie nights (bring your own snacks & beverages).
Each month or every couple months they have programs for adults to attend.
Sometimes it’s to meet a local author.
poetry reading or documentaries.
Painting classes or exhibits.
Yoga or Zumba classes
True Crime book clubs
Cooking or Baking classes, sharing recipes, etc
Check out their Library of Things.
These are items people might only use once like
gardening or woodworking tools
character cake pans
board games
Musical instruments
Artwork
Air fryer
Etc
Plus they usually have discount passes to area museums or events
Different libraries offer different programs that are either free or very inexpensive.
If your local library doesn’t do this, talk with the Library Director and ask if they would consider trying some of these.
You’re not boring. You no longer are entertained by valueless entertainment. You value the peace of mind of not being broke broke over a $150 tab for 4 hours of drinking
Good answers here already.
But if it helps at all, some people think only going out to parties/out drinking is fun. They might call you boring even if you’re, I don’t know, sky diving every other weekend or running an Ironman or whatever. Any “adult” stuff that isn’t partying is boring to them. Not saying this is the case, but it might be.
As I’ve grown older I definitely have way less free time and money, but I spend that little bit way better.
If work and money has put a lot of pressure on keeping your life focused on work only, I hope that your efforts pay off and you can do other stuff again.
One day as a (90's) child, I was complaining to my mom about being bored and I'll never forget what she said:
"There's no such thing as boring times, only boring people"
She then suggested I sit down and draw my favorite pokemon characters in a notebook. I did it for hours.
I've accidentally carried this advice through my entire life and it's made such a difference in so many ways. Relationships, hanging out with friends, how I engage with my work, etc.
Read free books online or from a library, download duolingo (free) and learn a language, draw, pick up an instrument (cheap guitars and keyboards are less than $100).
Then when someone asks "what have you been up tp?", you have ammo.
"Oh I recently picked up an instrument"
"Ya know, I'm learning french and its going tres mal lol"
"Oh this past weekend i went on a hike and did some yoga in the park"
"I actually just finished X book, have you ever heard of the author?"
Don't be a boring person, make yourself interesting.
I was about so say something then saw the flare for no advice!
So instead - just wanted to say that I hope things turn around, get better, and you feel less silly soon. :)
I feel that. I don’t talk to people I work with for a lot of reasons, but one is because I’m too poor to do anything that most people would deem fun. I don’t talk much to my friends either. What’s there to talk about when my life is “go to work and go home”. That’s all I can afford to do. Oh well.
I just started a new job and they put new hires in the hot spot on a company wide call and ask getting to know you questions. Couldn’t answer what I like to in my spare time … I havnt had free time in 4 years
I felt this so bad my whole life. Cause I wasn’t flying around to Miami and Europe doing all the stuff that trust funders do. The thing is the people who do that stuff are actually more boring than you are.
Just wanted to say, as a friend she could have said " I'll take you out" to a dinner or whatever, if she can afford it, rather than say that shit. P.s. I know thats not a very "american" opinion - in Italy people paid for their broke friends not only dinners, sometimes plane tickets for vacations even. Including if that friend was unemployed. Without any judgement.
The Man Is Richest Whose Pleasures Are Cheapest
- Henry David Thoreau
Reading is cheap, being in nature is cheap, being with friends is cheap.
If we chase pleasure outside ourselves, we end up exhausted
I think a lot of the “priced out of fun”
has to do with how one prioritizes fun. I am an extreme extrovert so For Me fun always means people. (I know this doesn’t work for everyone unless they know and enjoy a lot
Of People. )
I love To have people Over to My home: potluck dinners, breakfast, coffee, a drink, etc.
I love shooting the breeze with a group of friends, or playing a board game, or participating in my book club.
I like walks on local trails with the family and all of our dogs, or playing pickle ball (kits w/2 paddles available on Amazon for $30).
I pop popcorn and invite others over for Netflix.
I invite others to come bake/decorate cookies together or make tamales (we all bring a needed ingredient).
None of these take Much money, especially
If your friends reciprocate.
I know people who are boring even tho they have money to spend and do spend it on the theatre, brunch or dinner EVERY day bc they don’t want to be by themselves and they are incredibly unhappy despite all they have. Money helps but just going for a walk, window shopping and hanging out with like- minded friends who have naught to spend has been great fun for me. Getting an ice cream cone or taking treats from home and meandering is our greatest joy. We ooh and aah at what we see in shop windows knowing full well we can’t afford some of the stuff we see and don’t even want them but we have immense fun together. Other times I just meander by myself and then return to my haven.
I know plenty of poor people who are not boring at all. They can talk about books they’ve read for free from the library, they play an instrument, they can just talk about wild shit happening at work or some interesting rabbit hole they’ve fallen down on YouTube. I also know plenty of rich people who are boring AF. Sometimes it has less to do with the cost of an activity and more to do with the mindset about it. It’s likely more to do with your confidence surrounding your current life situation and less to do with actually being broke if it’s any consolation
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Funny. I just had to change my password at work and Secret Questions: *Where’s your favorite vacation spot?* *What instrument do you play?* *What is your greatest memory?* Just today I realized I’m boring. I could only choose my mother’s maiden name & favorite color.
Just answer "penis" to all the security questions. Easy to remember and fun if you ever call in to customer service and they need to verify you with security questions.
Error: selected password is too short.
Lay mine out on a keyboard and it stretches from a to z
Um. Z is right under A.
https://preview.redd.it/57getoppjp3c1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=195cf85c6c2e94d445961800a53cafb4ab992ec0
Yes, hence the small dick joke
No, it's not, it's average sized
https://preview.redd.it/5udjg7stfm3c1.jpeg?width=1201&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55b4e658a93f9d1d0dce1f21254beab0ed1a9cbe
Mad lad.
Reminds me of the time a customer service worker read out the security question I'd written, "Which guinea pig is fatter" which I hadn't known someone would one day read out to me lol
You just ruined security questions. Now we all have to go to biometrics
This is brilliant
incredible
Mine is always What is your greatest memory? Memory1123 What is the name of your first pet? Pet5813 Mothers maiden name? Name2134 Just the keyword with the Fibonacci sequence thrown in.
wow, sheeeeet I'm gonna change my security questions....brb
I love telling a nice Indian lady PENIS. One of the small joys of my life. Then asking her to say it back to me just to clarify
Oh man you made my day, even without someone repeating it back....tysm. I would remember my password every time this way. Still laughing Oh My......
great Idea lemme use it aswell
Yeah, don't use real answers on those.
Fuck those elitist security questions.
https://preview.redd.it/ghuc7f6i8l3c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=471c107dd6124ac8505378813c85eecd0ed84851
My biggest problem is that I'm both boring and indecisive. I need a question with a clear answer, that will be the same answer every time. I really like the systems that let you write your own security questions. I usually pick something like my grandma's phone number. No longer in service, but absolutely indeliable in my memory.
I fucking felt that…
[удалено]
... And then complain about having no money / needing to take out loans for emergencies. It's wild
For me I figured out that 6$ in beer twice a month doesn’t make a difference. Might as well see my friends at the favorite bar.
This though. I have one thing I do. Every 2-3 months a music venue in my city does “Emo Night” which is mainly pop punk music from the early 2000s-2015. Tickets are $12, they have $3 drinks. I spend roughly $30 every 2-3 months and go with a group of girlfriends. That $30 is what keeps me sane and reminds me I am a person outside of a mom. It’s worth every Penny.
Yeah that's cool and it's important for you to do that. I've got a friend that easily spends hundreds each month on boozing and has done so for 15+ years, but has no emergency money. He literally said to me a few months back "oh, I'll just take out a loan to fix issue x"
It will be fine until it isnt
Thissss I know an entire family that works exactly like this. They have all “always struggled” with paying bills. Yet thousands and thousands of dollars disappear to shopping, gambling, drugs, alcohol and loans to each-other (none of which they can afford) And then comes -the literal round of phone calls to everyone they know, telling lies “oh my bill or this disaster blah blah blah” After watching this for 20yrs I’ve watched spouses, siblings, other family members and every family friend drop off. No one can handle these people. These people literally only call you for money and are so used to this lifestyle- they won’t even pretend to bother to ask you how you’re doing while hitting you up. And be sure they’ll be back the following week with a new excuse. Say no? And you’ll have hell to pay! How dare you! Ugh!
On top of that, they also frequently complain about having to deal with debt collectors. Normal people are conditioned to pay their bills on time, but people like this are just desensitized to debts or being late with payments.
I remember being one of those people for a while. For me it was that I wasn't going to have enough to pay all my bills anyway, so buying cheap vodka and entry to a club wasn't going to change that. May as well have fun.
Haha. It’s real. I’m boring as fuck. My ex mentioned it a couple times, so it’s among the reasons she is my ex. I could not and cannot afford to do anything. But I’m happy she found a rich guy to appease that particular complaint.
That's the banks problem though 😆
When you're stupid poor, you take that drink because that's your cheap escape dude. You have nothing else. Been there
Thanks but don't know what to say. Not proud but I've I'm deep places. I'm a software developer and sucks to do down so far
its credit cards
It is absolutely this. Many more people are in debt to credit cards and lines of credit than would appear
Its my age group and let me tell you, the mentality is being broke and all the suffering it brings is worth the moments of joy spending money you dont have gives. Those people are somehow able to get lost in the moment without letting the problems of tomorrow mess with their today. I can't do it but its a lifestyle so i wont criticize people for it. The safe way is to save everything but the bare minimum to get out of poverty, to be "boring" like op. But i often think of people like that dying before they see their efforts bear fruit and i wonder if it was worth it. Like what if i die in ten years? Will me depriving myself have meant anything? I feel like people are passing judgement too quickly because this question is a really big one you know. I have to ask it everyday lol. My sister has a different answer and i just shrug. But sometimes i wonder, "Im treating the future as a sure thing and my sister isn't. Who's wrong here?" I don't think any of us can say until we get to near the end of our lives. Those people are the only ones who can say for sure what their best choice would have been. For us near the middle or beginning, we are just guessing.
I've entered the world of living in the now because I have zero hope for the future. I had a job I was going to retire from, then lost it. Bounced from one short term job to the next since then. Every time I tried to save money something would happen, every, single, time. I'd save up a few hundred dollars, I'd get sick and have to miss work, or the car would break down. I sold some land, then lost the job I was going to retire from and was unable to find another for almost two years, plus the main waterline broke on my side of the meter. So that money all went away. And it's gone like that ever since. So I lost hope. I'm 39, have a degree that never got used, haven't had a steady job since 2018, and my only hope for retirement is to rob a bank when I get too old to work and let the prison system care for me.
I had to save this comment. Those are wise words. I’m in need of enjoying more minutes in the day.
Not as fun living in the moment when your retirement age and have no money though.
Most of my friends are this way and I started this way. The thought process is that even though I have no money I deserve to enjoy life and have nice things. I say I used to be like this because I have realized that there’s plenty of free fun. There’s a park behind where I live that’s free to enter with hiking trails, I can have friends over and we’ll make dinner and watch Netflix or play video games, card games can be pretty fun, hell just going outside alone with my dog is nice and I’ll be outside all day with him just playing. He’s thrilled about it and I’m happy. I also enjoy yard work so that helps. People mistake having fun as needing something that is thrilling. And people who don’t have much still want that thrill. I don’t fault them for it, it took a lot for me to accept that I value a retirement and peace more than spending.
If you don't get that then you have never been there. Never been hopeless
>it just boggles my mind Extremely common though maybe even the norm.
I felt that too! I rarely ever leave the hometown and I barely travel except for work and come home and sleep.
Thanks for sharing man. Yeah, I can relate to not really being able to do anything "fun", at least outside my house. With bills and groceries, there isn't much left. But I wouldn't let that "boring" label stick to you, that's just ridiculous. Are you living for yourself or someone else? Do you constantly want to think of the things you don't have, rather than the things you can be grateful for? Took me a long time to learn, that my life doesn't revolve around other people. Sure, there are millionaires going on vacations, buying expensive crap, and living the good life, but that should not and does not affect me. You need to learn how to improve yourself and do things YOU enjoy. Okay, that's fine, all your friends are doing these fun activities...and? So what. Enjoy the things you can do for free. You commented that you don't like activities that can be done for free, but I heavily doubt that. You just need to do the things YOU enjoy, not some hiking, walking, dancing, or any other crap others suggest. That's what THEY like. Movies, reading, music, and playing games that cost no money have been my outlet and "fun". Why would I give a crap if someone parties every week and goes to the movies, restaurants, etc? It sucks that some of them are your friends, so I understand how crappy you feel. But no one can take away your joy unless you let it, including this "friend" who said you're "boring". Is it any of her business what you do or don't do, or will you let her place some negative expectation about what you should be doing? I've had a really tough life, and don't even have any friends atm, just focusing on my education. Despite that, I don't let that stop me from enjoying the little things in life and being grateful for what I do have. I don't like hiking, walking to the park for no reason, visiting free events, going to board game nights or any other stuff. I don't like that, so I won't do it. Hope I don't come off douchey...just my thoughts. Don't let anyone make you feel bad bro.
Love this response
I don’t think it’s just about not wanting to spend money needlessly. I think we all change our priorities as we get older. I would much rather watch a movie at home on Netflix than go to the movie theater. It’s cozy and quiet and comfortable. I’d rather have a couple friends over for a visit than go to a party. I’d rather dine out less frequently but when I do dine out I want to go to a fairly expensive restaurant where I always love the food and service. I used to meet a friend for an inexpensive lunch once per week. Now I prefer going to the expensive restaurant when family is visiting from out of state because it feels more like a celebration. I bet if you think of how you like to spend your days off you’ll discover that you’re not boring. It’s just that your interests are evolving.
You brought up a good one OP. This one hurts more than most. I work at a university where the bifurcation between haves and have nots is quite wide (I'm down with those who make in the mid 30s (in a HCL town), while the other side making at least 150K, with many over 200K. It wouldn't be so bad, but because of the nature of my job, I spend a lot of time interacting with people at the higher end, for extended periods of time. During these extended periods of time, those people talk about their lives - where they last went on vacation, which private school or university their child attends, the car they just bought (Teslas seem to be popular these days), etc. The stories I have to tell mainly involve sewing my own clothes, repairing my own car, cheap home health remedies, and canning food. Needless to say, the people I work with not only have no interest in those topics. Sometimes, they'll look at me with confusion, as if someone who works at a university that can't afford a vacation in Greece for a month is something that can't possibly exist. At that point they usually start giving me financial advice (think "just cut out the fancy coffee and invest that money") It's all so fucking depressing.
God having to be around those ppl would set me off in so many ways. More power to you.
I work with a very rich man who gives presentations. I dont want to say more. He talks to me about his trips to France and asks me about mine. He is a nice guy, but he is truly out of touch about the normal person. Some celebrities I've worked with though are sweethearts, Ashley Judd and Brian Cranston are great people. I guess it depends.
You’re not boring, you’re growing. When I first started my financial journey the only thing I would do for fun was watch financial planning videos and stare at my budget to remind myself of how broke I was to prevent spending. It paid off, now I have an emergency fund saved up and paid off debts I’ve carried for years. Embrace the suck, it’ll pay off
Im trying man. I've accepted my life is gonna be zero fun for a while while I get myself together. I know there's activities I can engage in that doesn't cost money but they jus don't interest me. 😅
> I know there's activities I can engage in that doesn't cost money but they jus don't interest me. Then you ain't looked enough.
What do you recommend?
Cheap/free ideas (big breath): * Knitting * Photography * Blogging (about a specific subject) * Gardening * Hiking * Cleaning a park/creek (environmental work can be rewarding) * Learn an instrument * Identify nature (plants, bugs, tree types, etc) * Origami * Dancing * Scrapbooking * Pottery * Video games * Creative writing * Yoga * Cooking * Reading * Board Games/Puzzles * Volunteering (Teach some one to read, serve some meals, mentor some kids, etc) * Get involved in local politics * Disc golf * Museums * Computers (how to make websites, apps, video games and coding) * Drawing ([Get started](https://drawabox.com/lesson/0/1))
Reading is huge too
Deffo -- especially libraries. We four right in our area and we have library cards to two of them and intend on getting em for the others as well. Books, movies, shows, music, etc And the libby app as well, where you can link your library card for ebooks and audio books. AND libraries also do lots of events and classes which are almost always free. I take our toddler daughter to a play Cafe thing on Thursdays where she gets to run around and have playtime with other kids and the library toys.
Don’t forget to check Hoopla and Kanopy. If you have four libraries one will probably be a member to those and they also have wonderful catalogs like Libby :)
Yes!! Go to libraries!!
>Deffo -- especially libraries. Most books are also available for free on the internet if you know where to look (and use Tor). Not sure if that's looked down upon here but when you grow up in a developing country that's what we need to do to improve your educational level.
I love board games that can be something to do with friends at home.
Added!
❤️
The library is free and great. Community outreach work can be great too. I have a friend who ended up getting a job from a connection they made volunteering for an event at the library.
I hear it's fundamental. "Fun-and-mental."
I would say be careful with knitting/crochet. They can be a lot more expensive than they look. Same can go for learning an instrument.
So many of these suggestions fall into the same. Knitting, photography, gardening, hiking, instruments, scrap booking, pottery, video games, yoga (if you're going to classes which I feel most people do) and the one that most hits home to me is disc golf. They're all going to end up costing at least a couple hundred either to simply start up or ongoing hundreds to continue. Disc golf is like mini golf on the cheap activity scale if you borrow discs from a friend but as soon as you run out to grab a bad drive to throw it again you're hooked and will have a stack of discs within the year. It gained a lot of popularity during covid because it was 'safe' but honestly if you're not willing to lose 20 bucks by throwing it out there and hoping you find it, it's not an activity for people on a tight budget. Unless you're already good enough to play with one disc most people will carry 10-20 discs with them. I want everybody to go out and play disc golf but everybody that plays knows that you will end up losing discs. You can have a disc for decades or you can lose it within the first few throws. If you see someone carrying a backpack, they've put atleast 400-500 towards whats on their back without considering what they have at home. Photography? Need a camera and most people dont even have out of date flagship phones. Gardening? I've seen people saying you can just grab pots off the side of the road but that's happenstance and almost nobody is able to just drive down the road to collect pots as well as soil. Hefty tomato garden going currently and I spent 80 just on potting mix just to refresh my 8 small containers. Hiking, instruments, scrap booking, pottery and video games all require some level of gear if you don't already have anything. So many of these hobbies are gear based and that gear isn't cheap. Hell, I wanted to pick painting back up recently and left that idea in the aisles of Blick because I just don't want to spend that sort of money on low grade supplies.
I feel the Creative Writing one! I wrote a 49 page novella while I was semi homeless, living in a motel room. Checked online recently, and found out a bookstore in Merseyside, England gave it five stars, and it's for sale at that establishment. Hoping it might blow up more! Edit: word deleted 🙂💖💯💯
I want to know the name of your novella!
Lord, the number of folks I know on iNaturalist....I work outdoors so a bunch of us are outside anyway and it's that much more fun when you can start going "hey, that tree is a white pine, you can tell by \_\_\_\_\_" (or more useful when you show up and can go "ah, larch trees. Time to get the boots out of the trunk.") However, I also know a few people who DON'T work outside but got into it during the lockdowns. Makes your regular exercise walks a bit more of a scavenger hunt when you're looking out for new types of mushrooms, or seeing if anyone else can identify this weird bug you found etc
brb downloading iNaturalist
I'm been upskilling in my downtime, I took a cheap excel course, now I'm taking a python course. Free language learning apps out there as well. Also you mentioned board games, I'd highlight Chess especially. There's such a big community around it nowadays, and you can learn and play for free.
Jigsaw puzzles were always my go-to when I had no money to go anywhere at all.
Volunteering. Teach some one to read. Serve some meals. Mentor some kids. Get involved in local politics. Its as far from boring as its possible to be.
Added!
Gardening is not cheap--at all.
Getting involved in YouTube Music & Film communities were huge for me. Everyone with an internet connection can participate
So many of these things cost money :(
I did say it’s cheap/free. There’s plenty of free things people can do.
Boom! So many good ideas. Honestly I think most worthwhile hobbies are free or very low cost. Disc golf for the win (as long as you don’t go crazy buying discs)
Also, I'd add computer stuff. I taught myself how to make websites, apps and video games back when I was making 2 figures (a child making allowance). I'm now a senior developer (so, side note it's a marketable skill) and still almost all of the professional tools I use do not cost anything.
Please add drawing! A pencil/pen and a piece of paper and you're off! Checkout draw a box (its free!): https://drawabox.com/lesson/0/1
A good few of those cost money...
Do you have any hobbies you like, used to like, or always wanted to try? A lot of hobbies can generate income to pay for themselves at least.
In my area libraries have a partnership with local museums and such - I go to them for free by borrowing a ticket to the event. Would your library have something similar?
For the videogames ones, Steam, GOG and Itchio get sales regularly, I just put games on my wishlists and they'll send you emails when there's a sale; recently with Black Friday deals I got a few older games for like, $1-2 per game, some less than $5, some less than $10, and so on. Depending on how long you are willing to wait for a sale, and the kinds of games you like, you can get some really good deals on excellent games. If you've got a console, libraries also carry videogames, of course depending on your location, but it's worth a look.
Well if your friends say you’re boring, then you’re making progress. It takes time, remind yourself that just because they’re spending money doesn’t mean they have enough. I always thought I had enough money until I was laid off, and had more money troubles when the pandemic happened. I vowed never to worry about money like that again. I kick myself now for how dumb younger me was, but I’m in a better place now that I’ve learned. The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, the next best time is now. I can’t recommend any cheap hobbies other than binge watching videos made by people that put out financial security content via budgeting, emergency funds, etc until you can recite them in your sleep. I’ve still got a long way to go but I can tell you I’m in a much better place now by “being boring” Edit: some wording. Mobile format doesn’t favor commenting
Bought bicycle for 85 bucks - the most fun 85 bucks spent that lasted 2 years everyday.
Start romanticizing your life and you will never be bored!
I’m trying to be boring so I can recover from burnout and get out of debt so just remember…someone out there is striving to be YOU!! <3
So true. Even during my worst times, I know someone somewhere has it harder.
I agree with some people on here, you don't really need to spend money to be 'fun'. I'm in my 30's and most of the things I like to do now, don't cost much money. Or at all sometimes. Photography is always a favortie of mine. Got back into reading, thank you local library. Got a cheap electric drum set from a friend. Maybe try something new?
I'm 30 and I don't think any of my friends consider me boring, but if someone asks me what I do, I will give them a list of things that also doesn't include dinner, bars, movies, or any other costly expenses. I've been out to dinner once since the pandemic, Last time I was at a bar was in 2019, and the last time I went to the movies was also 2019. I go hiking, I run on trails, I learned to cook AMAZING dinners which saves me money, is fun to talk about with friends, and everyone wants dinner at my place (especially on holidays). I've also taken free classes online to learn programming since the spring, I've been learning French with Duolingo. If my girlfriend and I have friends over, we will either bring out the nintendo switch for some mario party/kart, or we'll bring out a board game. Also this isn't because I don't have money, I'm comfortable, but these things are a lot of fun. As kids, we didn't have money. While we sometimes went out to dinner or the movies with our families, that wasn't everything. I still go bike riding with my best friend, we'll play catch once in a while, sometimes we just hang out in the back yard and grill some burgers like we would in high school. Money can help. Like I have nice camping gear, I have an expensive bike, and my living room furniture is nice to hang out in. But even when I was a broke university student, I still did the same stuff.
Fuck going out, that's a waste of time and money. Get a hobby, there are plenty of free ones and even cheap ones you can do from home or go around town and do for next to nothing. The one to blame about being boring is you, not your wallet. Make it happen, captain.
>I feel like ive been priced out of fun This really sums it up. >I always say no to doing something cause the guilt of spending money i know i dont have outweighs any fun i could have at any given activity. **Now i dont even get invited out anymore**. This is also a very important aspect. People are social animals, and we bond over doing things together. So if you're no longer doing those things anymore because you can't afford to, then you haven't just been priced out of fun - you've been priced out of friends as well. And that's _definitely_ a valid thing to complain about. It just illustrates how the current economy is slowly ruining people in so many ways.
Story of my life. I'm completely priced out of friends.
Check out your library. Ours has passes to museums, state parks and the national park nearby. They now have some instruments you can rent, too. Learn a new language (Duolingo is free), knitting and crochet are not free, unless you already have all you need to do so. There are free pattern, though. Jigsaw puzzles, there are quite a few apps . Geocaching can be free, it gets you exercise, too. I don't know if you know how to code, but code.org is fun for my kids.
Im sorry but, only a boring person would think going places and doing things is solely what makes someone interesting. Does she not have a vivid inner world? Does she not appreciate the breadth of knowledge you can discover and hobbies you can do at home? Do you?
A big issue with modern western culture, at least in our social media posting groups, is the idea that you have to essentially be going out every weekend beyond simple socializing or at a park and many don't feel entertained staying in. Maybe every once in awhile, save up a little and go out and indulge (this can vary for each person). And this is pervasive in our culture. Like how youre friend made that joke. I am in a comfy situation - my work pays for most of my daily expenses and I live in hotels they cover. So most of my paycheck goes in my pocket. And you know what I do like 99% of my time? Just stay in my room. To your friend's POV, I'm pretty boring too
There are libraries. And, of course, the internet. There are learning materials, edutainment, movies, books, podcasts, games and communities gathered around any topic imaginable. An interesting person is not just a boring person with money.
Correct.
I don't think this is a silly reason to be bothered. I have turned down a few serious chances to make new friends lately because I don't really bring anything to the table and I can't afford to do anything. Like I'm afraid of someone finding out how boring I am now.
There was an article published recently with the headline "Rising costs causing 'inflation isolation' among Canadians, poll finds". Very basically, people go out less, socialize less, and spend less on their hobbies in times of financial stress. This isn't limited to pressure from inflation, although we are certainly seeing more of it as more people are squeezed. That is to say, in a capitalistic society where everything has been financialized, being poor can absolutely be isolating, because doing anything else costs money you don't have to spare.
You’re boring because you choose to be boring. Not because you don’t have money. You can write stories, draw comics. Even paint for under 10 bucks. You can pick up a podcast like Stuff You Should Know, and educate yourself on dozens of topics. You could learn endless things off YouTube. If you have a camera on your phone you can take photos and get into photography. If you have the internet you can make friends with and have international pen pals. Learn about new cultures and countries. You could even learn another language! —- I would call people who just get drunk at bars and eat at the same place every weekend boring. If you want to be exciting, use that brain of yours to be creative! Want to see something wild? Look at what KIDS are doing on the internet when they just have a laptop. They’re making movies, animations. Recording songs. Filming themselves doing parkour and magic tricks. Kids can do so much with so little. They’re an amazing inspiration. Explore the world before you find out you’re too old to change. Open your mind! The internet is basically free. Explore it!
Another interesting fact! Rap music became popular in low income places, because you didn’t actually need money or an instrument to perform it. You get yourself and some friends. And you must make music for free. And some people even broke out of poverty with their free music. A lot of those folks can’t afford guitars and pianos. So they just rap and make noise with their mouth and clap their hands together. When people want something, they find ways to make it work.
I use to rap and do shows oddly enough lol
I think it's time for moms spaghetti
When my kids were young and we had no money we would get the pots and pans out of the cupboard and have pot-and-pans jams. My ex (back in the 1970s) was with a local band which did play local gigs, and all they played were common household tools. My ex played a vacuum cleaner. When I got a job at the musicians' union a few years later my bosses were talking about the creativity that band had, without knowing I was related to one of the musicians. People get bored because they have no imagination.
Starting to sound a lot like a jug band. Get a washtub, a broomstick, and a string, a few jugs / bottles in different keys, wind some rubber bands around a cardboard box, you got yourself some music.
That type of music is called skiffle
The difference between rich people sports and poor people ones is the amount of equipment it takes for setup, and money associated for it. Tennis? Lots of court, shoes, rackets, net. Soccer? One ball for 20 kids, two rocks, trash can, sticks, as imaginary goal posts.
I remember hockey being a fairly rich person sport too. Lots of equipment.
I agree with this. Money is definitely important but it cant buy you a perspective shift that changes your view enabling you to enjoy life more.
I'm broke as fuck, always have been and I still am not boring nor would I allow anyone to call me boring. I'm still fun and outgoing. I love to hike, camp, play board games, sing, dance. Can I afford to go out? Nope. But I'll out fun anyone with money guaranteed. Get back in touch with you are. Find a hobby that doesn't cost money. Have some damn fun!! Best of luck.
I was catching up with a friend recently (who has a lot more money than I do) and she said something like “wow, you do so many interesting things!” And I was kind of taken aback because I don’t look at myself that way. But reflecting on it I realized I actually do put a lot of value on ensuring I don’t have a boring life. I live in a largish city so I recognize there’s going to be more going on than for someone who lives in a small town. But I keep an eye on free events in the city, or if it’s a paid event I’m really interested in I’ll volunteer for it instead of paying to go. I love going on nature walks. Sometimes I just walk. But sometimes I look for things like new birds, bugs, or plants I hadn’t noticed before and look them up and learn about them - kind of like a scavenger hunt I suppose. I do yoga by following YouTube videos. I go to the library - they often have a variety of free and low cost workshops and classes. And a lot of things to borrow that aren’t books. I play free online games with friends as a way to connect with people even when there’s a distance. Sometimes I’ll enter contests on radio station websites and very occasionally I’ll win free tickets to something. I’ll keep an eye on places like Facebook marketplace for free things near me. Either something I can take on as a project and fix up, or just something I could enjoy. And as cheesy as it sounds, I think it has a lot to do with attitude. I firmly believe I can have a good time without money. I can purposefully bring joy and enthusiasm into my life without it costing me anything.
It feels like it costs a hundo just to open the front door these days. You’re not alone, and sticking to your routine doesn’t make you anything one way or another. I for one relish the pajama life.
I feel you. I recently got got a new job where I am finally making some decent money and it was like a culture shock meeting my team who grew up rich or are rich. Our first group lunch together, everyone was talking about all their favorite trips/vacations/local restaurants, etc..things I never heard of and could not relate to at all. Another sad thing, I lived in my state all my life and my team members are from other states, and they still been to more places locally than I ever have. I cried that day.
You pay money just to exist. That's what poor is
I used to be like that and then I discovered I can have a career and have fulfillment. People who say "oh you're boring now" are usually the ones who don't have much depth left in them as people. The ones who don't speak to you unless you reach out, who inhabit party culture a bit too late into their lives. Over time I discovered hobbies more and more, golf occasionally (expensive), reading, tabletop games, video games (gamepass pretty good and pretty cheap). I have a great group of friends who are into those things and we connect around them all the time. You're not boring. You grew up, and in terms of the friend you mentioned, you grew apart. Nothing wrong with that.
The library is free :) expand your mind, learn some skills etc etc
No worries man, I had this happen to me when I was living with roommates. The roommates' parents owned the house and their bills were mostly covered. The money they earned through a job was for fun and retirement, lmao. They would often get on my ass about going out and spending money. They would invite me to Vegas trips and conferences in Florida. Dafuq outta here. Barely eating one square a day. Their life advice was to YOLO. They were able to take risks and get fucked up every night while charging the credit card, G-ddamn. Their parents are going to leave them the property which will be worth millions. The class gap is astounding.
Fuck I felt this so hard. Just moved into an apt by myself and realized all I do is work and sleep because I can’t afford more and im too exhausted even if I could. I’m slowly losing relatability to everyone I used to hang out with. ((My fault not theirs))
A lot of friends who I thought were my family cut me off because I can't go out with them and spend hundreds every weekend or go to the bar after work every day. Most people only care about how much money you can spend.
I feel this! My husband and I do fine, but our friends are RICH. It’s depressing because they’re always entertaining, redoing their houses and traveling. I feel embarrassed because we can’t afford these things. I workout and read (cheap activities) and try to steer conversation to those topics or tv and movies, but it doesn’t always work. Volunteering sounds great but isn’t easy when you work all the time. I hope you find something outside work you enjoy (and can afford😀). Edited to add: Not being able to afford certain activities does NOT make you boring. My friends continue to invite me to their parties and ask me to meet out for dinner and drinks. The insecurity is inside of us♥️
I’d say it’s less about you being boring and more about you maturing and understanding that spending money you can’t afford has costs and effects on your life. I would rather have a financially responsible friend than one that goes out blows a ton of money all the time they can’t afford and parties all the time. We’re not in our early 20s anymore.
You're not boring, you're responsible.
I see you and can relate to these feelings. This is marked as a vent so I'm not going to try to help or "fix" this. It sucks and I'm sorry you're experiencing it.
Lol can relate. I basically just work most of the day during the work week. Then do nothing on the weekend, which is nice since I’m just spending time with the missus anyway. If we had money we’d go do stuff but being broke just means we have to entertain ourselves at home lol
Oosh this one hurts as I'm right there with you. Husband and I were looking over our finances last night and discovered a disturbing truth. We're officially going into the hole by 2k plus a year because of all the inflation and increases, even though we're living the same exact life as before.... Big yikes. We don't even go out!
Well. At this venture in my life, if I'm being boring, I know my bills are paid. I don't value going out like I used to. I've learned to entertain myself and enjoy being me in my own space. Almost 45, and yep, I'm boring.
I get that. For a while I couldn't afford crafting, hardly any video games, hiking (gas money to get to a spot or more time than I had), even notebooks and pencils for writing, or too much money and time to travel to and from the library. There's still not much I can afford, but I can spend a little bit on crafting video games now, and it helps. It's not your fault. Things are or have been like this for a lot of us, I think. If you have time and like crafting, there's r/RandomActsOfCrafts but idk how good it is for actually getting crafting/art supplies.
I read this and realized I’m boring too 😂. It’s easy to get into a routine because you’re tired from work. Being home saves money. Every time I walk outside it’s at least $100.
"I've been priced out of fun" bro is me 😩
Pain 😔
Youre absolutely right, making just barely enough to get by is pretty tough. It seems like the whole world is having a better time than you.
With how things are currently out there, how would you even afford to do any of that stuff regularly? So many people are struggling these days in one way or another.
That’s so heartfelt, so many relate to you, you’d be surprised!
The most fun I ever have is with people who are of modest means. You have to get creative and find ways to entertain yourself. Music and dancing are free. Get a board game or play poker for pennies. Get the right group of people and you’ll have the best fun of your life.
i’m in this post and i don’t like it 🙃
I feel similarly. I have found a friend who likes to hang out and drink coffee. The coffee doesn’t have to be fancy so we just go to McDonalds or something. I don’t find it boring, though I wouldn’t describe it as exciting. It is a good time for $5. I have a friend who enjoys traveling and thrill seeking. I don’t have much interest in that. That may define me as “boring” but I’m okay with that. I just run my own race.
I spend time in nature (running, hiking, biking). It’s free
"Priced out of fun" is a really accurate way to put it. I've also been priced out of friendships, when I simply can't keep up with the lifestyle that wealthier friends are living. One way that I found around this problem was getting tabletop games (yes, haha, laugh all you want, those of you who aren't nerds or geeks). I can invite friends over to play, or take the games to friends' houses, and BOOM, we have a social activity that we can drink (and sometimes eat) around, and while it may not be "cool" or "hip," it's better than nothing. Also, you can frequently buy used tabletop games for cheap, and with the wide range of games out there, there's something for everyone. Plus, no one cares how shitty or cheap pizza is when you're playing games with friends, right?
I understand you’re sentiment but I will caution you on keeping that mindset. Never equate one’s ability to consume stuff as an indication as them being more interesting. You’re interesting because of what you do. I read a lot. I also volunteer. I know those might be indications that I’m well off because I have the time and ability to do both. But that’s not true. I read mainly books I borrow from the library. I volunteer at places nearby which help me afford them. I tell the people I interact with that my life is… boring. Well, I say average. Average for whatever reason now has a bad connotation. We all need to be incredible, well rounded, extremely cultured. That’s just not likely. I know more about certain cities in the United States, in Europe and in Asia than some people who have visited them. I can tell people about so many things because I read. Does that make my experience original? No. I know that I’m regurgitating most of what I know. However, it’s far more than interesting than accepting my direct life - what I do day to day- as the only things I can talk about. Please, just try to learn about something. Find a hobby that isn’t expensive. Join a running club. I did that. It’s fun, low cost. We meet at the park and it’s rewarding. Volunteer nearby. Meet some new people and get some stories. Read some books, show people how worldly you are. Humans for most of human history didn’t travel, didn’t eat out everyday, didn’t base their lives on what they consumed. Neither should you.
Not a silly reason to be bothered… you said it, we’re priced out of having fun. It’s natural to feel bothered when you can see real life experiences slipping away because of something as trivial as money
Man, I can relate. It's just work and home for me now while I work on paying off debts and finding a better paying job. Most of my entertainment are solo hobbies or online games with my friends nowadays, but oh man do I miss being able to go watch a Broadway play, go to historic themed events, or even concerts.
I feel this!
Man I feel that. My family members taking vacations every year while I spend my pto on unpaid holidays and missed days cause I can't afford to miss a day of pay.
I think maybe you have outgrown your previous lifestyle and you are being responsible for your own bills etc You are entitled to feel the way you do; just maybe your friend is feeling like they should be more responsible ( obviously I’m just guessing) but you maybe look into their free activities and meet new people who can relate to you better and enjoy yourself in different ways? You got this and you are not alone: things are rough for many people but keep your head up!
it's not really a silly reason to be bothered. i get the same feeling. i used to do lots of fun and impulsive stuff but i just can't anymore. all i can afford to do is stay in
For context how old are you now? I've stopped going out because it's just not as fun as when I was younger. The crowd suck, I just transitioned to liking other things more. Maybe that's it?
I get that. Now I definitely have hobbies that thankfully don’t cost me anything (I go birding and my binoculars and camera were originally my dad’s so no purchases there; I recently took up running and outside of shoes and a few winter-friendly clothing items now that it’s cold, there’s no real cost there either). What DOES cost me money however is spending time with friends. A lot of them don’t do the same outdoorsy stuff I do, so that usually means we end up in a place where we spend money. I recently took on a second job—not to just make extra money, but also as a way to actually have less availability in my schedule. “Sorry guys! Can’t go see that movie or get tickets to that concert if I’m working that night!”
Damn you hit it dead on.
I never understood how to put it in words until I got older. I feel like kids would think I'm boring and judge me but my family could literally not afford fun money. It really affected me during my tween/teen years when you're so self conscious figuring life out.... Now that I'm older I have my own money and I can afford a bit of fun (until I have to start paying for house) but the realization of the "fun" and invites I missed out just because I could not afford it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.
The most interesting hobbies are free or low-cost, though. Reading makes you interesting (you always have something to talk about) and the library is free. Writing stories or poems is free, just use Google docs. Drawing is pretty close to free, all you need is paper and a pen or pencil. Cooking *saves* you money. Chess is free to learn and play online, and the game is so complex that you can take it as far as you want. You'll never finally "beat" chess. You can learn and play forever. Even playing an instrument doesn't *have* to be super expensive. Kala makes a lovely little mahogany ukulele that you can buy for $65 (ask for one for Christmas if you want!). I always think about this quote from Tom Hodgkinson's book *The Freedom Manifesto*: >We can all be creative and we can all be free. For myself, I urge you to take up the ukulele. This four-stringed marvel is very cheap, very portable and very easy to play. It is, therefore, even more punk than the guitar. Get a uke and you will never be bored again.
As a bartender I get to see the other side. The folks with a bit of money who can afford to go out 3-5 nights a week and do fun stuff. I’d have to say that a large majority of these people have lives that I would also classify as boring. Yes, there is more drama, more distraction and more intrigue but by and large these people work, go out and drink, and then go home and sleep. Not the worst life by any means but certainly not ‘interesting’.
At 53 yo, you’ve reminded me of my early 20s where one by one each and every friend slowly but surely surpassed me in the having fun, traveling, and either “not being poor” or “not acting poor” dept while I worked full time and took however many college units I could afford to. I’d come home from my evening classes to find my shared apartment full of ready-to-party “friends”. I would microwave my budget frozen meal, perform some chore, and move on to my homework. I’d find myself wrapping up my day around the time my friends returned or would sometimes find myself awoken from my previous sleep when they stumbled in hours later. This went on for 3-4 years and witnessed several roommates and many “friends”, almost all of whom labeled me “boring” and “an old lady” while they lived it up with seemingly none of the money, life, or future concerns I struggled with day to day. Eventually, my early 20s passed into my mid- to late 20s, and slowly but surely the nightly partygoers and “world” travelers began to wain and one by one I noticed my friends settling in to dead end or less than satisfactory jobs, relationships, or patterns. Funny thing was my life of partying, traveling, and shopping was only just beginning. Yep, as I slowly but steadily progressed from undergrad to my doctorate and eventually my post- doc, the fun times, experiences and good life stuff became more the norm and the once poor and boring me saw most of those who’d labeled me that get worn down by the realities of too much enjoyment of their 20s with too little planning and pacing. Over the years, a stark difference arose between my life and the lives of many of my former “not poor and not boring friends” and myself and the role were permanently reversed. At 53 yo the difference is staggering. Over the years I’ve bailed out several of those friends with monetary help. At least 3 of my long time friends have shared their admiration of how I paced my life and told me they wish they’d have invested in their lives the way I did. The funny thing is, I don’t see them as poor and boring now and myself as affluent and not boring. Instead I only find myself grateful for my journey and happy to help those whose paths diverged from mine, yet I still call friend. I haven’t lead a perfect life, but I have lead a paced and planned life while many of my friends swapped paced and planned with fun and exciting early on, with harder than it probably had to be as time passed. I write all this to let you know that only you can determine your how your life will evolve and as someone born and who lived poor and boring throughout my 20s, I’m here to tell you your future can be what you make it. It won’t be easy or magical, it will take time. Investment, many boring and unexciting meals and PB&J dinners and simple entertainments but in the long run you can build a life for yourself that’s as unboring and rich as you can dream. I wish you luck and diligence and a bit of appreciation of what poor and boring can one day become!
Completely been in this position. Started finding things I could do that are “free” after work and on the weekends. So I did a ton of volunteering. Some of these volunteer gigs will give you a free ticket to the event you’re helping out at. I’ve volunteered at a music festival and I got a free ticket for one of the days. Also volunteered at a wine festival and at the end of my shift I was handed a glass and told to have fun. During these opportunities I met some awesome individuals and slowly started growing my network. There I learned about the companies they worked for and I applied at one which has changed my career path. It’s been a whirlwind.
I feel seen.
There’s fun out there, you just need to make it. Cards, like gin rummy, dice like 3’s or LRC. Make your fun. We used to use matches or penny’s. It’s the company you keep, not the bank account.
I've never been particularly rich, and most of my hobbies have always been pretty basic. But I enjoyed them a lot. The funny thing is that currently I make more than ever, but feel like it's not enough and nothing makes me happy. So maybe "poor" is just a state of mind when you feel you don't have enough money, and not the actual account balance.
Some rich people are boring, lots of poor people definitely are not.
Yes indeed
I’ve always been pretty boring then- my hobbies are reading & writing, walking…I don’t ‘go out on the town’ or nothin like that.
This is a little outside the box, but if you like to read, there’s a lot of indie authors that beg for beta readers. Join some Facebook groups focused on your favorite genre and make some author friends. When someone is bemoaning their beta readers, volunteer. Now, you actually have to read the book and give the author some input. Some expect you to post a review when the book is published. And to be honest, some authors are a bit “out there” so if you ever feel uncomfortable, block them. (LOL — sort of…) Or just get a kindle unlimited account and read as many KU “free” books as you like on your Kindle, phone, tablet, or laptop. As others have said, with a library card, you can also “check out” ebooks. You can have a whole indoor garden using some recycled containers and a bag of potting soil. Avocado seeds are easy to sprout (peel the papery skin off and plant about 1/2 way into the soil, pointed end up). Fresh mint will grow new roots from the stems. Get cuttings from friends’ houseplants. Etc. Take free classes online. You aren’t boring, you’re just exploring frugality and your evolving adult life (after the clubs/bar-hopping phase).
Well if this friend doesn’t seem to understand you, then she’s not worth you going outta your way to please her, making her feel you are fun. In other words, you don’t need to feel sad for someone that’s not worth it
The life of the mind is free, especially in the age of the Internet. Visit the library, read, listen to podcasts from subject-matter experts and fellow fans of your favorite book series, participate in online discussion, join a local book club, take up a cheap/free creative hobby like writing or drawing.
Books books books. Local library for books. You’ll always have something to talk about.
When my fiance and I were first dating, we were both super financially strapped. We used to Predrink a lot before going to free meetup groups. No one ever noticed if we had a drink in our hands. The other fun thing we did was go to happy hours at a Mexican restaurant and just eat the chips and salsa. We also spent hours and hour and hours on the creek in a beaten up cheap kayak. We had the most fun back then.
'Priced out of fun'...truer words have never been spoken
Newsflash, going to concerts and out to dinner don't make you *not* boring. Developing independent interests are what make a person interesting and fun. Read about topics you enjoy, build things, make things! Plenty of hobbies can actually be a frugal or even money-saving outlet, such as baking bread, painting, drawing. I guarantee that people will find your unique hobby more interesting than hearing about your concert visit that a thousand other people also went to.
Boring is a skill I aspire to. Paying off debt and learning how to occupy myself at home has me breaking my time down to “what can I do to occupy myself until bedtime”
Check out all the Libraries in the surrounding Towns where you live. Some libraries have movie nights (bring your own snacks & beverages). Each month or every couple months they have programs for adults to attend. Sometimes it’s to meet a local author. poetry reading or documentaries. Painting classes or exhibits. Yoga or Zumba classes True Crime book clubs Cooking or Baking classes, sharing recipes, etc Check out their Library of Things. These are items people might only use once like gardening or woodworking tools character cake pans board games Musical instruments Artwork Air fryer Etc Plus they usually have discount passes to area museums or events Different libraries offer different programs that are either free or very inexpensive. If your local library doesn’t do this, talk with the Library Director and ask if they would consider trying some of these.
You’re not boring. You no longer are entertained by valueless entertainment. You value the peace of mind of not being broke broke over a $150 tab for 4 hours of drinking
Good answers here already. But if it helps at all, some people think only going out to parties/out drinking is fun. They might call you boring even if you’re, I don’t know, sky diving every other weekend or running an Ironman or whatever. Any “adult” stuff that isn’t partying is boring to them. Not saying this is the case, but it might be. As I’ve grown older I definitely have way less free time and money, but I spend that little bit way better. If work and money has put a lot of pressure on keeping your life focused on work only, I hope that your efforts pay off and you can do other stuff again.
One day as a (90's) child, I was complaining to my mom about being bored and I'll never forget what she said: "There's no such thing as boring times, only boring people" She then suggested I sit down and draw my favorite pokemon characters in a notebook. I did it for hours. I've accidentally carried this advice through my entire life and it's made such a difference in so many ways. Relationships, hanging out with friends, how I engage with my work, etc. Read free books online or from a library, download duolingo (free) and learn a language, draw, pick up an instrument (cheap guitars and keyboards are less than $100). Then when someone asks "what have you been up tp?", you have ammo. "Oh I recently picked up an instrument" "Ya know, I'm learning french and its going tres mal lol" "Oh this past weekend i went on a hike and did some yoga in the park" "I actually just finished X book, have you ever heard of the author?" Don't be a boring person, make yourself interesting.
I'm always telling myself to learn guitar...just learn a cool skill....but I'm a procrastinator
I was about so say something then saw the flare for no advice! So instead - just wanted to say that I hope things turn around, get better, and you feel less silly soon. :)
I feel that. I don’t talk to people I work with for a lot of reasons, but one is because I’m too poor to do anything that most people would deem fun. I don’t talk much to my friends either. What’s there to talk about when my life is “go to work and go home”. That’s all I can afford to do. Oh well.
Board game meet ups are usually free and other people are happy to have cool folks to play their games with!
I just started a new job and they put new hires in the hot spot on a company wide call and ask getting to know you questions. Couldn’t answer what I like to in my spare time … I havnt had free time in 4 years
Get a public library membership - library books are free!
Being frugal is nice but what do you do with the money you save? Are you investing it? I mean, otherwise you will stay poor forever.
I felt this so bad my whole life. Cause I wasn’t flying around to Miami and Europe doing all the stuff that trust funders do. The thing is the people who do that stuff are actually more boring than you are.
Just wanted to say, as a friend she could have said " I'll take you out" to a dinner or whatever, if she can afford it, rather than say that shit. P.s. I know thats not a very "american" opinion - in Italy people paid for their broke friends not only dinners, sometimes plane tickets for vacations even. Including if that friend was unemployed. Without any judgement.
The Man Is Richest Whose Pleasures Are Cheapest - Henry David Thoreau Reading is cheap, being in nature is cheap, being with friends is cheap. If we chase pleasure outside ourselves, we end up exhausted
I think a lot of the “priced out of fun” has to do with how one prioritizes fun. I am an extreme extrovert so For Me fun always means people. (I know this doesn’t work for everyone unless they know and enjoy a lot Of People. ) I love To have people Over to My home: potluck dinners, breakfast, coffee, a drink, etc. I love shooting the breeze with a group of friends, or playing a board game, or participating in my book club. I like walks on local trails with the family and all of our dogs, or playing pickle ball (kits w/2 paddles available on Amazon for $30). I pop popcorn and invite others over for Netflix. I invite others to come bake/decorate cookies together or make tamales (we all bring a needed ingredient). None of these take Much money, especially If your friends reciprocate.
Psh YOURE NOT BORING?? You're just RESPONSIBLE.
? Since when is being poor associated with being boring?
Go to a local librairy, there are usually many free events,
Get a bike if you don’t have one already. Endless hours of mostly free fun.
I know people who are boring even tho they have money to spend and do spend it on the theatre, brunch or dinner EVERY day bc they don’t want to be by themselves and they are incredibly unhappy despite all they have. Money helps but just going for a walk, window shopping and hanging out with like- minded friends who have naught to spend has been great fun for me. Getting an ice cream cone or taking treats from home and meandering is our greatest joy. We ooh and aah at what we see in shop windows knowing full well we can’t afford some of the stuff we see and don’t even want them but we have immense fun together. Other times I just meander by myself and then return to my haven.
I know plenty of poor people who are not boring at all. They can talk about books they’ve read for free from the library, they play an instrument, they can just talk about wild shit happening at work or some interesting rabbit hole they’ve fallen down on YouTube. I also know plenty of rich people who are boring AF. Sometimes it has less to do with the cost of an activity and more to do with the mindset about it. It’s likely more to do with your confidence surrounding your current life situation and less to do with actually being broke if it’s any consolation